General Info - Nampa

[AussieGaigin]

Bro, why the hate? I'm just asking a question and there's no need for hostility towards it.

Why I'm asking this is because I have not been to Japan before, only tried the flirting scene in Malaysia and Thailand.No hate or hostility was intended. It was meant to be a realistic interpretation of the vague scenario you presented. Maybe English is not your first language, so could you try asking the questions again, differently?

There are thousands of "night life locations" in Japan, and a similar number of hotels. Where do you expect us to start? You haven't even suggested a city, let alone specific area.

[Nino]

No hate or hostility was intended. It was meant to be a realistic interpretation of the vague scenario you presented. Maybe English is not your first language, so could you try asking the questions again, differently?

There are thousands of "night life locations" in Japan, and a similar number of hotels. Where do you expect us to start? You haven't even suggested a city, let alone specific area.Also I am not sure what he means by "the flirting scene"? Nobody is to stop you from flirting anywhere here. Heck, I just flirted with the counter girl at the kaiten Sushi shop.

Mike Lim, please explain more clearly what you are asking about. Otherwise, nobody can help you.

[MikLim12]

No hate or hostility was intended. It was meant to be a realistic interpretation of the vague scenario you presented. Maybe English is not your first language, so could you try asking the questions again, differently?

There are thousands of "night life locations" in Japan, and a similar number of hotels. Where do you expect us to start? You haven't even suggested a city, let alone specific area.
Also I am not sure what he means by "the flirting scene"? Nobody is to stop you from flirting anywhere here. Heck, I just flirted with the counter girl at the kaiten Sushi shop.

Mike Lim, please explain more clearly what you are asking about. Otherwise, nobody can help you.I will be staying in Shinjuku Washington Hotel during my stay in Tokyo. I'm from Singapore and English is my first language. I have been learning Japanese for quite a bit and would like to try my luck with the local Japanese women there.

So far, through my friends' recommendations, Feria and Muse top the list. I'm travelling Tokyo alone and would like to know if these clubs are popular. As mentioned previously, after picking up a girl in Malaysia or Thailand, a hotel is just a stone's throw away. However, in Tokyo, would a love hotel be a better option?

Not trying to be a douche / to generalize here, but does any other Chinese brothers here have had any trouble with picking up girls in Japan? This is my virgin trip to the sacred land and any advice would definitely help me out!

Cheers

[AussieGaigin]

I will be staying in Shinjuku Washington Hotel during my stay in Tokyo. I'm from Singapore and English is my first language. I have been learning Japanese for quite a bit and would like to try my luck with the local Japanese women there.

So far, through my friends' recommendations, Feria and Muse top the list. I'm travelling Tokyo alone and would like to know if these clubs are popular. As mentioned previously, after picking up a girl in Malaysia or Thailand, a hotel is just a stone's throw away. However, in Tokyo, would a love hotel be a better option?

Not trying to be a douche / to generalize here, but does any other Chinese brothers here have had any trouble with picking up girls in Japan? This is my virgin trip to the sacred land and any advice would definitely help me out!

CheersWashington is a business hotel chain, and from my personal experience most business hotels have a "no visitors" policy, esp at night. A love hotel would definitely be a better option, they are plentiful around Tokyo.

[Cougar Cookie]

I will be staying in Shinjuku Washington Hotel during my stay in Tokyo. I'm from Singapore and English is my first language. I have been learning Japanese for quite a bit and would like to try my luck with the local Japanese women there.

So far, through my friends' recommendations, Feria and Muse top the list. I'm travelling Tokyo alone and would like to know if these clubs are popular. As mentioned previously, after picking up a girl in Malaysia or Thailand, a hotel is just a stone's throw away. However, in Tokyo, would a love hotel be a better option?

Not trying to be a douche / to generalize here, but does any other Chinese brothers here have had any trouble with picking up girls in Japan? This is my virgin trip to the sacred land and any advice would definitely help me out!

CheersThe Washington has very small and very basic hotel rooms. An average Love Hotel is better equipped and has a better mood than the Washington. The Washington is full of salarymen on business trips. I wouldn't expect any problems bringing a girl in. I brought one in 1996 without any problems.

[MikLim12]

The Washington has very small and very basic hotel rooms. An average Love Hotel is better equipped and has a better mood than the Washington. The Washington is full of salarymen on business trips. I wouldn't expect any problems bringing a girl in. I brought one in 1996 without any problems.Thanks for this. I would most probably go with the love hotel then.

How would the conversation go when trying to flirt? In Japanese or English? How do you escalate from there?

[AussieGaigin]

I have found that most J girls have some English ability, and it is much more "fun" teaching them as you go along. Knowing "sukoshi Nihongo" will earn you points, if you can switch between the two in your conversation.

There are no hard and fast rules in this game; every girl is different. You just have to learn to adjust to situations as they occur. It took me a few years of "study" and practical experience to get a good success rate.

[Member #4328]

I unintentionally did some train nampa one day a few years back. I asked an attractive lady in her twenties, in Japanese,"Excuse me does this train go to, so and so?" She answered me, then asked me if I had free time to go with her that day.

I`m sure just for a coffee or a stroll. I was really flattered but explained I was on my way to a friend`s house. But it seemed like a decent way to meet a nice woman.

[AussieGaigin]

I unintentionally did some train nampa one day a few years back. I asked an attractive lady in her twenties, in Japanese,"Excuse me does this train go to, so and so?" She answered me, then asked me if I had free time to go with her that day.

I`m sure just for a coffee or a stroll. I was really flattered but explained I was on my way to a friend`s house. But it seemed like a decent way to meet a nice woman.Missed opportunity. Such encounters can well end up with more than just a "coffee or a stroll". Shame you couldn't follow through, or get her to meet up with you later.

Try it again sometime.

[OneIpole]

I just joined as a regular member. I will soon my my firt report of being in Tokyo.

Maybe I am not so smart but I had no idea Nampa meant picking up girls!

[OneIpole]

I was reading back a bit and there was some good advice and talk about being in shape to help your game. I wanted to add to the good advice.

I box and play sports and do what I can. I am over 40 now and as you know it takes much longer to recover.

One thing that has been pretty good for me all around has been adding a few supplements. I do the standard protein shake after working out like everybody, but I also do a testosterone booster. I have tried a few and found one I really like and it does help quite a bit. I have more energy for workouts and throughout the day. It has even improved my sex also. More energy and stronger hard on's.

If your over 40 you may want to look into it.

[OneIpole]

Dating sites have been in Japan. On other sites I kill it, but in Japan its a lot of work. Finally got JC working for me. I have about 10 girls who want to meet, but nothing under 30. It is a process though.

World friends has sucked ass for me. I am getting nothing there. I tried so many different approaches and still nothing.

All in all I will be pretty good I think when I get there in Feb. Still though I am looking forward to hitting the bars and clubs to see what I can stir up.

[Herpes]

Hi guys,

Looking for some feedback from your experience.

Are there some married guys here who like Nampa?

Do you state if you're married or not? I heard actually its easier when you do so with J-ladies. Do you confirm it with your experience?

If you're married, are there some specific targets which are easier?

Thanks!

[AussieGaigin]

Hi guys,

Looking for some feedback from your experience.

Are there some married guys here who like Nampa?

Do you state if you're married or not? I heard actually its easier when you do so with J-ladies. Do you confirm it with your experience?

If you're married, are there some specific targets which are easier?

Thanks!I can't recall that I've ever been asked, but if it was to be a one off encounter I would probably deny it.

Maybe some girls have suspected it, but it hasn't been an issue.

Might be a different scenario if you were a long term stayer in Japan, and looking for a long term relationship.

Some married J ladies don't seem to have issues with having a bit on the side, so guess it works both ways.

[Kerfuffle]

Hi guys,

Looking for some feedback from your experience.

Are there some married guys here who like Nampa?

Do you state if you're married or not? I heard actually its easier when you do so with J-ladies. Do you confirm it with your experience?

If you're married, are there some specific targets which are easier?

Thanks!No offense to anyone's religious or cultural sensitivities, but I've always liked Japan explicitly for its refreshing, distinct lack of Judeo-Christian morality that often can intrude into and interfere with such (though of course not all) M-F interactions in many Western countries. Yes, there are some Christian people and other assorted sexually conservative types in Japan, and what they do is their business in terms of how their attitudes govern their sexual behavior, and there are of course always exceptions to every rule and assumption. I'm not saying that Christian or similarly Western-influenced Japanese are necessarily more resistant to nampa, or that Buddhists endorse nampa as a doctrine, but IMHO, the way of thinking for a majority of Japanese thankfully stems from that non-judgmental (or less judgmental) Buddhist heritage, which is not necessarily governed by the aforementioned Western puritannical mores and bodes well for receptiveness to nampa.

As for targeting, the topic of marital status may or may not arise, but it seems not to be a major factor after said targets are properly groomed to be receptive to nampa advances. But as with so many other things in Japan, success is contingent on knowing the right buttons to push, literally and figuratively, which in the nampa context should be aimed at making the target feel comfortable even if initially resistant. That understanding of which buttons to push, and the ability to implement it on the nampa battlegrounds, might not come overnight, but in due course over time I've found that things tend to fall into place, and that focus, determination and single-mindedness can work wonders. Whether to disclose marital status is a judgment call, dependent on circumstances, necessity and the judged trustworthiness of the target. If grooming an ongoing relationship that began with nampa, or the subject of marital status came up in conversation in the initial encounter, it might be a straightforward fact that one should have little trouble with disclosing. OTOH, if targeting a gyaru or someone younger or less stable you're hitting on for the sole purpose of a one night stand or quickie, then it might not be advisable...

All just my POV / two yen...

Cheers and good luck, gentlemen!

[AussieGaigin]

No offense to anyone's religious or cultural sensitivities, but I've always liked Japan explicitly for its refreshing, distinct lack of Judeo-Christian morality that often can intrude into and interfere with such (though of course not all) M-F interactions in many Western countries. Yes, there are some Christian people and other assorted sexually conservative types in Japan, and what they do is their business in terms of how their attitudes govern their sexual behavior, and there are of course always exceptions to every rule and assumption. I'm not saying that Christian or similarly Western-influenced Japanese are necessarily more resistant to nampa, or that Buddhists endorse nampa as a doctrine, but IMHO, the way of thinking for a majority of Japanese thankfully stems from that non-judgmental (or less judgmental) Buddhist heritage, which is not necessarily governed by the aforementioned Western puritannical mores and bodes well for receptiveness to nampa.

As for targeting, the topic of marital status may or may not arise, but it seems not to be a major factor after said targets are properly groomed to be receptive to nampa advances. But as with so many other things in Japan, success is contingent on knowing the right buttons to push, literally and figuratively, which in the nampa context should be aimed at making the target feel comfortable even if initially resistant. That understanding of which buttons to push, and the ability to implement it on the nampa battlegrounds, might not come overnight, but in due course over time I've found that things tend to fall into place, and that focus, determination and single-mindedness can work wonders. Whether to disclose marital status is a judgment call, dependent on circumstances, necessity and the judged trustworthiness of the target. If grooming an ongoing relationship that began with nampa, or the subject of marital status came up in conversation in the initial encounter, it might be a straightforward fact that one should have little trouble with disclosing. OTOH, if targeting a gyaru or someone younger or less stable you're hitting on for the sole purpose of a one night stand or quickie, then it might not be advisable.

All just my POV / two yen.

Cheers and good luck, gentlemen!Kerfuufle.

You have hit the nail on the head with this.

Japanese are generally not bought up with the belief that sex is morally or socially unacceptable.

I have been playing the "nampa game" for 30 years, and most of the literature I have read on the subject reinforces these attitudes.

I have been in long term sexual relationships with many, and they can walk away with no emotional hang-ups whatsoever.

[OneIpole]

Went to Roppongi. Could not find Gasponick or how ever you spell it. Went to international party at Greenland. It was not great. Had 3 Romanian girls try to pick me up. Pretty cute. So here was the problem. Since when do 3 girls try to pick me up. They wanted me to go to another bar with them. I declined and they pushed. One was all over me and said she really likes me. Maybe I am crazy but to good to be true. I didn't trust it and let them go, shiy like that doesn't just happen.

Went to Black Horse and picked up a jgirl right away. We were talking and touching each other, was going very good. She was up against me dancing in the tiniest place that was jammed packed. Then it went bad. Some dumb ass English or aussie guy keeps pushing against me over and over. He thought he was really good looking and had a attitude like he was the shit. I finally tell him what the fuck. Get off of me. He gets smart with me and I grab him by the neck and shove him. His buddy tries to stop us but to late I am mad. I punch him in the face and then they separate us. Both of us kicked out. Why jgirl is gone and I am on the street in the snow- fucked up. Try to at least get a ass whopping in but the guy won't fight and his friend is in between us. What a dumb ass I am!

Then back to Greenland but it is pretty crowd. Talked to some girls but no luck.

[OneIpole]

I am close to Shinjuku station and heading out hunting. Anybody up for some drinks?

[OneIpole]

This time I went out around Shinjuko. Did great. Got 3 numbers and I one the girls was all over me, her friend made her leave because she didn't like it I guess. Sucks!

One of the girls is in college now, I hope to give her some education!

I have three dates lined up now. Just is taking time because my stupid ass got a cold. I am resting in bed now.

I am not shy in the first place and am used to going out by myself. That really helps in meeting these girls. As far as meeting them and getting their line number or fb it has been pretty easy. No I have to work on closing the deal. I tried a one night close and the girl said it is only our first meeting. I took that to mean how about the second time!

1. Picked up a doctor (oh yea) at coffee shop. Got her fb and we are communicating. Really easy there to make conversation.

2. Picked up about 5 from JC. We are talking and supposed to meet. It is going ok.

3. No luck on internations yet. But I may go to a event.

4. Picked up a total of 4 at bars. Talking to them on line and fb and setting up dates.

5. Worldfriends sucks- getting no where.

So I have connections but sitting home sick now.

How many closed deals? A big fucking 0. I have 10 days left and hoping a can get one to my apartment.

Just going out to a bar and picking up girls has been a blast and pretty easy. I think it is the best way, its so much more fun than Japancupid and such. But we will see if I close any.

Then I will report back again.

[Machida]

i recently had two wtf moments with ladies i've met online.

first is the doh! moment. on japancupid earlier this year i met a 40-year-old filipina and had a few fun encounters until she started to get serious. i decided to quietly drift away and move on to greener pastures. i began using skout in may and just recently met a cute, genki filipina in her early 20s. after a playful date, she started inviting me over to her pad and we've been having fun ever since. until last week when she texted me with,"did you fuck my mother?" then she sent me a picture of her mama. doh! let's just say it's time to move on again. lol!

next, the yikes moment was with a japanese gal in her mid 40s from japancupid. she's a "big boned", busty girl with a nice ass and a homely but cute face. we had a karaoke date and she gave me a nice blow job and titty-fuck. i later started doing some house visits until the contact dried up. well, last week i was perusing a japanese porn site and who do i see? that same girl doing "juku" videos! i just sat their speechless. did some checking up on her and she has at least 20-30 clips out there. yikes!i'm sorry but is there a chance you can dm or post a link to the big boned girl's video?

[Deltron]

i recently had two wtf moments with ladies i've met online.

first is the doh! moment. on japancupid earlier this year i met a 40-year-old filipina and had a few fun encounters until she started to get serious. i decided to quietly drift away and move on to greener pastures. i began using skout in may and just recently met a cute, genki filipina in her early 20s. after a playful date, she started inviting me over to her pad and we've been having fun ever since. until last week when she texted me with,"did you fuck my mother?" then she sent me a picture of her mama. doh! let's just say it's time to move on again. lol!

next, the yikes moment was with a japanese gal in her mid 40s from japancupid. she's a "big boned", busty girl with a nice ass and a homely but cute face. we had a karaoke date and she gave me a nice blow job and titty-fuck. i later started doing some house visits until the contact dried up. well, last week i was perusing a japanese porn site and who do i see? that same girl doing "juku" videos! i just sat their speechless. did some checking up on her and she has at least 20-30 clips out there. yikes!i agree with the other guy. would you mind posting up that video of her?

[Japanguy]

Had 3 Romanian girls try to pick me up. Pretty cute. So here was the problem. Since when do 3 girls try to pick me up. They wanted me to go to another bar with them. I declined and they pushed. One was all over me and said she really likes me. Maybe I am crazy but to good to be true. I didn't trust it and let them go, shiy like that doesn't just happen.I've heard this several times. They have a deal with the bar they take you to and get kickbacks on the drinks you buy. Spend a $1000 on champagne and you'll go home alone.

[AussieGaigin]

Had 3 Romanian girls try to pick me up. Pretty cute. So here was the problem. Since when do 3 girls try to pick me up. They wanted me to go to another bar with them. I declined and they pushed. One was all over me and said she really likes me. Maybe I am crazy but to good to be true. I didn't trust it and let them go, shiy like that doesn't just happen.Anything involving Romanians should be treated with the greatest suspicion. You might be lucky to only get hit with a big bar tab.

[BionicMan]

I've heard this several times. They have a deal with the bar they take you to and get kickbacks on the drinks you buy. Spend a $1000 on champagne and you'll go home alone.No, you do not go home alone, you go home WITH blue balls!

[Kabze]

No, you do not go home alone, you go home WITH blue balls! :)I have seen these girls before in some pub.

Three of them.

Look very sexy, waiting for guys.

But, since there are three of them, I am not buying.

Experienced told me that if you want to go fishing, strike one fish at once.

[Jpn Dude]

I agree with the other guy. Would you mind posting up that video of her?
I'm sorry but is there a chance you can DM or post a link to the big boned girl's video?Hey guys. I'll try to find it online. To be honest, I don't even remember her online / fake / real name. Hahaha.

But I do have her on my LINE. I'll see if I can get more info on her somewhere. Wish me luck.

[Ram Jam]

Has anyone had any experience having sex in a Karaoke room?

I have heard that there are cameras in Karaoke rooms to catch people doing things they should not be doing?

My girl gets very excited when we fool around in a Karaoke room and I wonder how far we can take it. I don't want to get in any trouble with the staff or police.

[Deltron]

Has anyone had any experience having sex in a Karaoke room?

I have heard that there are cameras in Karaoke rooms to catch people doing things they should not be doing?

My girl gets very excited when we fool around in a Karaoke room and I wonder how far we can take it. I don't want to get in any trouble with the staff or police.From experience, I had a girl take her shirt off while I fondled with her tits in a Karaoke both (I had a mouthful) , and then had sex with another chick in one (she wore a shirt skirt and took it off to give me a ride). Both of which happened during our first date.

No security ever entered the room. I've made out with endless chicks in one, but I assume that'll always be ok.

Anyone else want to chime in?

[Jpn Dude]

Has anyone had any experience having sex in a Karaoke room?

I have heard that there are cameras in Karaoke rooms to catch people doing things they should not be doing?

My girl gets very excited when we fool around in a Karaoke room and I wonder how far we can take it. I don't want to get in any trouble with the staff or police.I've never had intercourse in a karaoke room, but have had plenty of other play. A girl I met on Tagged gave me a nice blow job and swallowed on our first date. Same thing with a girl recently that I met from Skout. We started making out the second we got in the door. After the drinks arrived and made sure no one else came in, I fondled her while kissing, then undid her blouse and sucked on her DD's. She started rubbing my crotch and undid my pants. I splurged on her after 10-minutes of intense sucking.

During both times, I sort of kept my eye on the door of the room just in case. I've been member at Karaoke-kan and Big Echo chains for years and never noticed any camera besides the small one used in filming yourself sing. These are prominently placed in front of the TV and not turned on unless you select it via the remote control. Other karaoke shops like Ban-Ban, Uta-mura, Tetsu-jin do have security cameras (or decoys) and are placed on the ceiling and usually have a sign nearby telling you that they monitor for safety.

[CatsLikeJack]

This is my first post, I'm a long time lurker on this forum.

First I would really like to thank everyone for the reports and insights, this forum has been a great resource for me so far. I am looking for a wing man, be it once of the long term mentors in this forum or a complete newbie who just arrived in Japan.

A little bit about me: German guy in his late 20s living in Tokyo. Fluent in Japanese, English, German. Greatly enjoy my job and life in Japan in general. I had some success picking up girls in clubs, but admittedly it is rather hard not to score there.

My problem is that I have no day game at all. I am struggling with approach anxiety, and just cannot get myself to talk to girls on the street. This is why I would like to find someone I can team up with.

I know that it is better to go out alone, but for the moment it does not work for me.

I would be really glad to get a PM from someone!

[Cheap]

This is my first post, I'm a long time lurker on this forum.

I would be really glad to get a PM from someone!Hi Cats,

PM me if you decide to upgrade your membership.

[Member #4328]

This is my first post, I'm a long time lurker on this forum.

First I would really like to thank everyone for the reports and insights, this forum has been a great resource for me so far. I am looking for a wing man, be it once of the long term mentors in this forum or a complete newbie who just arrived in Japan.

A little bit about me: German guy in his late 20s living in Tokyo. Fluent in Japanese, English, German. Greatly enjoy my job and life in Japan in general. I had some success picking up girls in clubs, but admittedly it is rather hard not to score there.

My problem is that I have no day game at all. I am struggling with approach anxiety, and just cannot get myself to talk to girls on the street. This is why I would like to find someone I can team up with.

I know that it is better to go out alone, but for the moment it does not work for me.

I would be really glad to get a PM from someone!

I feel going out alone (at night) is not the best way. I think having a wingman, relaxes the women. However during the daytime:


Here is my mini, two yens worth of advice. I am an old fart. Early 50's. But have been told time and again I look younger. Sometimes that is just flattery I am sure. Anyway, I really feel this works. I know it does. For the day game, the easiest way is to either.

Strike up a conversation on the train and ask something like "Does this train go to Shinjuku?" Though I speak Japanese pretty well, I may even start with, "Excuse me, do you speak English?" If not I switch into Japanese. Sometimes the attractive lady on the train will turn into a date that day or you can get her number. Another way is on the street. Same scenario: "Excuse, where is Shinbashi Station?" - as you know full well she is walking straight to Shinbashi Station so can talk with her on the way for the next.

5-10 minutes. I think this is a great way. Years ago I used ads on the net, but this way is great as you see the lady right in front of you and can decide if she is attractive or not. Try it out!

[AussieGaigin]

I feel going out alone (at night) is not the best way. I think having a wingman, relaxes the women. However during the daytime:


Here is my mini, two yens worth of advice. I am an old fart. Early 50's. But have been told time and again I look younger. Sometimes that is just flattery I am sure. Anyway, I really feel this works. I know it does. For the day game, the easiest way is to either.

Strike up a conversation on the train and ask something like "Does this train go to Shinjuku?" Though I speak Japanese pretty well, I may even start with, "Excuse me, do you speak English?" If not I switch into Japanese. Sometimes the attractive lady on the train will turn into a date that day or you can get her number. Another way is on the street. Same scenario: "Excuse, where is Shinbashi Station?" - as you know full well she is walking straight to Shinbashi Station so can talk with her on the way for the next.

5-10 minutes. I think this is a great way. Years ago I used ads on the net, but this way is great as you see the lady right in front of you and can decide if she is attractive or not. Try it out!I was in the same age band, with the same "identification" problem. Ask the girl to guess my age and she would say 40's.

I used the same line, ask for directions; or stand in a prominent spot with a map and a "lost" look, doesn't take long for a girl to ask if you need help. Easy to pass if you don't like the looks (or it is a guy).

I've worked in reverse down here at home. See a girl looking at a map and offer assistance. If I think there are prospects, just offer to escort her to where she is going, then she owes you a favor in return.

Happy hunting.

AG.

[Minatoku Man]

Interesting Nampa video. Involving locals only, probably not viewable in Japan.

http://www.redtube.com/467812

[Kerfuffle]

I didn't think Japan really needed Ashley Madison, as the women did quite fine on their own before its arrival IMHO. But what the heck. Guess it opens up new and evolving nampa opportunities for enterprising dudes (though it might facilitate more hookups, I personally wouldn't be into paying money to a website to communicate with women one could traditionally nampa for free). Just look at it as an interesting article, despite the company's vested interest in its business model. :)

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/how-ashley-madison-pulled-back-the-curtain-on-japans-infidelity-economy?trk_source=homepage-lede

How Ashley Madison Pulled Back the Curtain on Japan's 'Infidelity Economy'.

Written by.

JONATHAN DEHART.

June 16,2014 // 02:24 PM EST.

Image: Ashley Madison.

Sex in Japan has made a splash in the media recently, this time via the explosion of Ashley Madison, the world's largest "affair dating" website. Ashley Madison's success in Japan has pulled back the curtain on the widespread adultery in the country, where the approach to marriage seems to accommodate infidelity.

According to Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman, the site's success world-round is proof of a simple, if hard to accept, fact of humanity: "We're not monogamous. We pretend to be. We pay lip service, but we're not, and we have proof that we're not. So let's stop pretending," Biderman told Motherboard.

Love or loathe him, Biderman knows what he's talking about. A friendly former lawyer with quick answers, "the king of infidelity" dispenses facts on the widespread breakdown of traditional marriage with good cheer. To date, more than 25 million members across 38 countries have crafted profiles on Ashley Madison, complete with their age, physical traits, location, and a description of what they're seeking. Men pay for credits to write emails, initiate chats, and send virtual gifts to women, while women join and navigate the site for free. The model is working; last year the company raked in a profit of $40 million, while reaping a revenue of $125 million, up from $100 million the previous year.

The popularity of the controversial matchmaking site is especially explosive in Japan, Ashley Madison's fastest growing market worldwide. Japan broke one million members on the affair site faster than any other country: in just eight months. There are now over a million men and women with profiles on the clandestine hookup site in Japan, a country that prides itself on social status and proper appearances.

"Infidelity exists in every culture, but there are nuances. And they're sizable," said Biderman. But nowhere are these nuances more pronounced than in Japan, where the "infidelity economy," as Biderman calls it, thrives alongside a culture that strongly emphasizes marriage and raising children.

"Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. " ​.

The historical roots of Japan's approach to marriage can be clearly traced. According to Jennifer Robertson, Professor of Anthropology and the History of Art at the University of Michigan, "monogamy was introduced in the first modern Constitution / Civil Code of 1890 after the fall of the feudal shogunate in 1868 and the formation of a constitutional monarchy thereafter. ".

Until the penning of the nation's postwar Constitution of 1946, adultery was solely defined as a crime committed by married women. "In addition to giving free reign to men's sexual desires, this one-sided, punitive definition of adultery was rationalized as a way to prevent confusion about the paternity of a married woman's child," Robertson said.

That's neither fair nor a recipe for romance. But in Japan, Robertson says, romance "is not at all the main motive for the legal institution of marriage, which brings two extended families into alliance, enables the marriage partners to achieve 'social adulthood' and is the only sanctioned context for reproduction, which in turn ensures the continuity of the household lineage. ".

This intensely practical attitude towards marriage often confounds the Western media. From coverage of the "herbivore men" trend to the BBC's documentary No Sex Please, We're Japanese, a widespread meme suggests Japanese have all but stopped doing the deed and are content to sit back and watch their population implode.

The reality on the street tells a vastly different story. Standing outside any one of the nation's estimated 30,000 "love hotels," the unending stream of couplessome married, some notdoing their best to slip in and out undetected is telling. Or stand on a random corner of Kabukicho, Shinjuku's red light district, and watch throngs of tipsy salarymen file into establishments pandering to everything from flirtatious chatter (hostess clubs) on down the erotic spectrum to "soapland" establishments and sexual massage parlors that make up the country's massive and highly visible multibillion-dollar paid sex industry.

Photo: Kabukicho, a red light district in Shinjuku, Tokyo. Image: Wikimedia.

"I think Japanese culture has a really deep-seated desire to project one way but behave a different way," Biderman said. "Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. ".

Japan's approach to marriage as Biderman sees it, with its focus on practical matters over matters of passion, is in some ways "more evolved" than elsewhere. In his estimation, this is a good thing and could even provide a model worth emulating.

"Japan has a chance to be the breakthrough society," he said. "They have a chance more than any other society to find a successful platform for marriage where marriage is about economics, raising kids. It's not about sexual entertainment. That's secondary. ".

A whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

The divorce rate in Japan hums around 27 percent, about half the rate in the US. And Ashley Madison's internal survey found that the number one reason most Japanese respondents gave for seeking out an affair was "not enough sex" in their relationships. Fifty-five percent of women and 51 percent of men named this as their impetus for joining up on the site.

Combine those two stats and you can start to see the role extramarital trysts play in the culture. What's more, couples in Japan tend to feel less guilty about infidelity than other parts of the world. The Ashley Madison's survey found that of the 3,500 respondents from Japan, only 2 percent of women and 8 percent of men felt pangs of guilt for their flings, compared with 8 percent of women and 19 percent of men worldwide.

It's worth noting that some experts are critical of the site's internal "guilt" survey, pointing out that its users are making a premeditated choice to cheat after all, so are more likely to report low levels of guilt. But the survey findings reflect the country's comfort level with casual sex outside of marriage.

Increasingly, that's true for both men and women, Maya Yamashita, a Tokyo-based researcher on romance and sexuality and author of the books Tokyo: Departing for Global Love and New Rising Sun: The Future of Multicultural Japan, explained.

"I recently talked to four friends who are housewives and all of them are having affairs. Usually after they have kids they become interested," she told me. "And they don't feel bad about it. They are not thinking of divorcing. They think that affairs are positive things for their marriages. " The numbers support that theory. Ashley Madison's survey found a whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

Religion likely plays a role in Japan's dichotomous cultural attitude toward sex. "Japan is of course not a Judeo-Christian society, and the morality governing ideas about sex and sexuality is very different. Shintoism celebrates fertility and sex, and Buddhism is relatively unconcerned with these issues," Gabriele Koch, a PhD candidate in Anthropology at the University of Michigan who is finishing her dissertation on the Japanese sex industry, told me.

Just how big is Japan's sex industry?

Koch first dug up the official stats as compiled by the police. Legal sex-industry businesses, which have been licensed since the time of the Tokugawa shogunatefrom the 17th to 19th centuryare located in the correct zoning and do not offer penile-vaginal intercourse or services by minors or foreigners without proper working visas. Japan was home to 30,969 such businesses last year, a combo of fixed locations and "delivery" services.

"My own ballpark estimate would be that there are at least a quarter million women working legally nationwide," Koch said. "Of course, these numbers don't account for underground businesses. The Japan Subculture Research Center estimates the country's sex industry earns between 1 trillion ($9. 8 billion) to as high as 2. 5 trillion yen ($24.4 billion), with some sex workers earning 10 million yen ($97,574) annually.

With sex for sale on this scale, it shouldn't come as much surprise that morality on the issue has traditionally revolved around "containing excess rather than prohibiting male indulgence," Koch explained. "It's overdoing it that's seen as a problem. Of course, there's also long been a double-standardmale sexuality is indulged while women's sexuality is policed and seen as belonging to the household. ".

This may gradually be changing. Today, "Japan tolerates a huge number of host clubs, which serve sexualized entertainment to women," said James Farrer, a professor of sociology at Sophia University in Tokyo who researches sexuality in Japan and China. "So I think there are no specific obstacles to women seeking affairs in Japan, more than there would be in other societies. It is quite a liberal society for women. ".

With the arrival of Ashley Madison, women have a chance to do what men have long done in red light districts around the country. And judging by the numbers, many are doing just that.

This may seem to suggest that Japan is at ease with and open about its sexuality, but it's not so simple. Maintaining proper appearances in Japan is crucial, and the success of Ashley Madison in the country is putting something out in the open that is usually kept hidden. Despite the success of the business, the desire to keep up appearances saw Google Japan refusing to run ads for Ashley Madison out of respect for perceived cultural norms.

The dichotomy creates a conflict. But there's an opinion that if Japan would just make peace with the way it handles marriage, it might realize that extramarital sex is not such a bad thing. Although it's not going to fly in many countries on moral grounds, some may even consider it an approach worthy of consideration.

"Of course it's not the ideal situation to have an affair," Yamashita said. "But in Japan, given the social constraints at play, it seems to be the best way to balance the situation for many. ".

TOPICS: culture, Japan, Ashley Madison, infidelity, Marriage, affair website.

[Sushi Galore]

I just posted this in the Tokyo thread, but since it involves nampa, I also post it here.

After being out of the country for a while, I am back in Tokyo for a business trip and wanted to go to one of my favorite nampa spots of before: Bar Heartland at the bottom of Roppongi Hils. But, alas, it apparently shut down earlier this year without reopening elsewhere!

This time I am only here for a week, thus my rather urgent question out of ignorance about the more recent scene: What would be a similar place, trendy at the moment, where one would find a similar female crowd to hang out on week-day evenings and occasionally pic-up a willing OL for some fun at my hotel?

Much thanks in advance for any hint in that direction.

Sushi.

[AussieGaigin]

I'd look for places like "Irish Pubs" around railway stations, usually lots of OLs there to choose from.

I found them better than "meat market" bars in Roppongi.

[Jesterl]

The more the veil of Japan is removed, the worse it is for that society and us. Japanese women will unravel and more chumps will come to Japan, which lets face it, it isn't what it used to be and I haven't been going there for that long. There are more places in Asia one can bank more money in savings for not much less chick quality.

I hear Ashley Madison is suing the S. Korean government under WTO laws because SK goverment made the website illegal. I notice the owner is putting much money into that survey. HE hit on a characteristic of Japanese culture hidden from most Westerners.


I didn't think Japan really needed Ashley Madison, as the women did quite fine on their own before its arrival IMHO. But what the heck. Guess it opens up new and evolving nampa opportunities for enterprising dudes (though it might facilitate more hookups, I personally wouldn't be into paying money to a website to communicate with women one could traditionally nampa for free). Just look at it as an interesting article, despite the company's vested interest in its business model. :)

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/how-ashley-madison-pulled-back-the-curtain-on-japans-infidelity-economy?trk_source=homepage-lede

How Ashley Madison Pulled Back the Curtain on Japan's 'Infidelity Economy'.

Written by.

JONATHAN DEHART.

June 16,2014 // 02:24 PM EST.

Image: Ashley Madison.

Sex in Japan has made a splash in the media recently, this time via the explosion of Ashley Madison, the world's largest "affair dating" website. Ashley Madison's success in Japan has pulled back the curtain on the widespread adultery in the country, where the approach to marriage seems to accommodate infidelity.

According to Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman, the site's success world-round is proof of a simple, if hard to accept, fact of humanity: "We're not monogamous. We pretend to be. We pay lip service, but we're not, and we have proof that we're not. So let's stop pretending," Biderman told Motherboard.

Love or loathe him, Biderman knows what he's talking about. A friendly former lawyer with quick answers, "the king of infidelity" dispenses facts on the widespread breakdown of traditional marriage with good cheer. To date, more than 25 million members across 38 countries have crafted profiles on Ashley Madison, complete with their age, physical traits, location, and a description of what they're seeking. Men pay for credits to write emails, initiate chats, and send virtual gifts to women, while women join and navigate the site for free. The model is working; last year the company raked in a profit of $40 million, while reaping a revenue of $125 million, up from $100 million the previous year.

The popularity of the controversial matchmaking site is especially explosive in Japan, Ashley Madison's fastest growing market worldwide. Japan broke one million members on the affair site faster than any other country: in just eight months. There are now over a million men and women with profiles on the clandestine hookup site in Japan, a country that prides itself on social status and proper appearances.

"Infidelity exists in every culture, but there are nuances. And they're sizable," said Biderman. But nowhere are these nuances more pronounced than in Japan, where the "infidelity economy," as Biderman calls it, thrives alongside a culture that strongly emphasizes marriage and raising children.

"Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. " ​.

The historical roots of Japan's approach to marriage can be clearly traced. According to Jennifer Robertson, Professor of Anthropology and the History of Art at the University of Michigan, "monogamy was introduced in the first modern Constitution / Civil Code of 1890 after the fall of the feudal shogunate in 1868 and the formation of a constitutional monarchy thereafter. ".

Until the penning of the nation's postwar Constitution of 1946, adultery was solely defined as a crime committed by married women. "In addition to giving free reign to men's sexual desires, this one-sided, punitive definition of adultery was rationalized as a way to prevent confusion about the paternity of a married woman's child," Robertson said.

That's neither fair nor a recipe for romance. But in Japan, Robertson says, romance "is not at all the main motive for the legal institution of marriage, which brings two extended families into alliance, enables the marriage partners to achieve 'social adulthood' and is the only sanctioned context for reproduction, which in turn ensures the continuity of the household lineage. ".

This intensely practical attitude towards marriage often confounds the Western media. From coverage of the "herbivore men" trend to the BBC's documentary No Sex Please, We're Japanese, a widespread meme suggests Japanese have all but stopped doing the deed and are content to sit back and watch their population implode.

The reality on the street tells a vastly different story. Standing outside any one of the nation's estimated 30,000 "love hotels," the unending stream of couplessome married, some notdoing their best to slip in and out undetected is telling. Or stand on a random corner of Kabukicho, Shinjuku's red light district, and watch throngs of tipsy salarymen file into establishments pandering to everything from flirtatious chatter (hostess clubs) on down the erotic spectrum to "soapland" establishments and sexual massage parlors that make up the country's massive and highly visible multibillion-dollar paid sex industry.

Photo: Kabukicho, a red light district in Shinjuku, Tokyo. Image: Wikimedia.

"I think Japanese culture has a really deep-seated desire to project one way but behave a different way," Biderman said. "Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. ".

Japan's approach to marriage as Biderman sees it, with its focus on practical matters over matters of passion, is in some ways "more evolved" than elsewhere. In his estimation, this is a good thing and could even provide a model worth emulating.

"Japan has a chance to be the breakthrough society," he said. "They have a chance more than any other society to find a successful platform for marriage where marriage is about economics, raising kids. It's not about sexual entertainment. That's secondary. ".

A whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

The divorce rate in Japan hums around 27 percent, about half the rate in the US. And Ashley Madison's internal survey found that the number one reason most Japanese respondents gave for seeking out an affair was "not enough sex" in their relationships. Fifty-five percent of women and 51 percent of men named this as their impetus for joining up on the site.

Combine those two stats and you can start to see the role extramarital trysts play in the culture. What's more, couples in Japan tend to feel less guilty about infidelity than other parts of the world. The Ashley Madison's survey found that of the 3,500 respondents from Japan, only 2 percent of women and 8 percent of men felt pangs of guilt for their flings, compared with 8 percent of women and 19 percent of men worldwide.

It's worth noting that some experts are critical of the site's internal "guilt" survey, pointing out that its users are making a premeditated choice to cheat after all, so are more likely to report low levels of guilt. But the survey findings reflect the country's comfort level with casual sex outside of marriage.

Increasingly, that's true for both men and women, Maya Yamashita, a Tokyo-based researcher on romance and sexuality and author of the books Tokyo: Departing for Global Love and New Rising Sun: The Future of Multicultural Japan, explained.

"I recently talked to four friends who are housewives and all of them are having affairs. Usually after they have kids they become interested," she told me. "And they don't feel bad about it. They are not thinking of divorcing. They think that affairs are positive things for their marriages. " The numbers support that theory. Ashley Madison's survey found a whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

Religion likely plays a role in Japan's dichotomous cultural attitude toward sex. "Japan is of course not a Judeo-Christian society, and the morality governing ideas about sex and sexuality is very different. Shintoism celebrates fertility and sex, and Buddhism is relatively unconcerned with these issues," Gabriele Koch, a PhD candidate in Anthropology at the University of Michigan who is finishing her dissertation on the Japanese sex industry, told me.

Just how big is Japan's sex industry?

Koch first dug up the official stats as compiled by the police. Legal sex-industry businesses, which have been licensed since the time of the Tokugawa shogunatefrom the 17th to 19th centuryare located in the correct zoning and do not offer penile-vaginal intercourse or services by minors or foreigners without proper working visas. Japan was home to 30,969 such businesses last year, a combo of fixed locations and "delivery" services.

"My own ballpark estimate would be that there are at least a quarter million women working legally nationwide," Koch said. "Of course, these numbers don't account for underground businesses. The Japan Subculture Research Center estimates the country's sex industry earns between 1 trillion ($9. 8 billion) to as high as 2. 5 trillion yen ($24.4 billion), with some sex workers earning 10 million yen ($97,574) annually.

With sex for sale on this scale, it shouldn't come as much surprise that morality on the issue has traditionally revolved around "containing excess rather than prohibiting male indulgence," Koch explained. "It's overdoing it that's seen as a problem. Of course, there's also long been a double-standardmale sexuality is indulged while women's sexuality is policed and seen as belonging to the household. ".

This may gradually be changing. Today, "Japan tolerates a huge number of host clubs, which serve sexualized entertainment to women," said James Farrer, a professor of sociology at Sophia University in Tokyo who researches sexuality in Japan and China. "So I think there are no specific obstacles to women seeking affairs in Japan, more than there would be in other societies. It is quite a liberal society for women. ".

With the arrival of Ashley Madison, women have a chance to do what men have long done in red light districts around the country. And judging by the numbers, many are doing just that.

This may seem to suggest that Japan is at ease with and open about its sexuality, but it's not so simple. Maintaining proper appearances in Japan is crucial, and the success of Ashley Madison in the country is putting something out in the open that is usually kept hidden. Despite the success of the business, the desire to keep up appearances saw Google Japan refusing to run ads for Ashley Madison out of respect for perceived cultural norms.

The dichotomy creates a conflict. But there's an opinion that if Japan would just make peace with the way it handles marriage, it might realize that extramarital sex is not such a bad thing. Although it's not going to fly in many countries on moral grounds, some may even consider it an approach worthy of consideration.

"Of course it's not the ideal situation to have an affair," Yamashita said. "But in Japan, given the social constraints at play, it seems to be the best way to balance the situation for many. ".

TOPICS: culture, Japan, Ashley Madison, infidelity, Marriage, affair website.

[Jp Slicky]

Is there anyone who has tried this Ashly Madison in Japan?

I can write in Japanese so have no problem navigating.

I set up a profile but have not paid for any credits?

Is each message like one credit used?

[Minatoku Man]

In Japanese the word for a threesome is clearly "3 P". But when you speak Japanese, how do you say this? "three pea", "san pea", "mitsu pea", or some other way?

Thanks

[Sudsy]

In Japanese the word for a threesome is clearly "3 P". But when you speak Japanese, how do you say this? "three pea", "san pea", "mitsu pea", or some other way?

ThanksSan pii, but if you're at a soapland it's referred to as "nirin".

[AussieGaigin]

Is there anyone who has tried this Ashly Madison in Japan?

I can write in Japanese so have no problem navigating.

I set up a profile but have not paid for any credits?

Is each message like one credit used?Haven't tried the J site, and only just joined in Australia, and here I think a message is about 5 credits.

[CodeX]

Has anyone had any luck with Happymail in Kansai?

It works well in Tokyo, managed a few nice looking girls for a reasonable price. ¥15,000 or under.

I haven't had any luck in Kansai, the ¥15,000 girls are average at best.

Any happy stories out there?

Or another good site?

[Jesterl]

I miss Japan and its ladies. To substitute, I've been using Philipina / Thailand dating sites, like DateinAsia. Though great, these girls can't get visas to visit. I would much rather target Japanese women. I welcome MILFS (which for obvious reasons are more open to visit), and Japanese have visas and vacations. I live in a tourist spot in USA. Any good sites to pick up women like this? Metropolis ads have been pretty miss since I moved out of NYC.

Give a little; it's the holidays and not everyone can get out of USA!

Thanks in advance!

[AussieGaigin]

Perhaps try Metropolis or CraigList (or other similar) and offer your services as a "tour guide" in your area.

I got a girl in Tokyo off Metropolis a few years ago; she later came here to Sydney for a holiday, and after that she sent a few of her friends here at various times for me to look after.

I was a tour guide by profession, but these extras were a good diversion.

[Inakajin]

Haven't tried the J site, and only just joined in Australia, and here I think a message is about 5 credits.I joined Ashley Madison last year, paid for 100 credits, and sent several messages, only a few of which I received responses for. At least one of those seemed like a "Sakura" as she just wrote general messages and finally stopped writing after I began to tell her I really wanted to meet. (I can read and write Japanese fairly well.).

The problem is that even though their site clearly states it's 5 points for each letter sent, they charged me TEN points for each one. I complained about this, and after a couple of mails to them, they reimbursed me for part of those 10 points. However, thereafter, they charged me 10 points for every first contact, and then didn't respond to my complaints again till after I'd sent 2-3 messages to them about it. They finally contacted me and gave me some crap about how the message is 5 points, but sending it is also 5 points, so the total is 10!! Absolutely nothing about that in their website.

After this, I wanted to quite the site, but the bastards also charge to delete you from the site, so I just did a "hide" thing where my profile doesn't show up to anyone except those I sent messages to. Later, they automatically charged my credit card for anther batch of points which I most definitely did not ask for, and again, I had to send them 2-3 messages complaining ferociously about it before they finally credited it back to my card.

[Member #4328]

I joined Ashley Madison last year, paid for 100 credits, and sent several messages, only a few of which I received responses for. At least one of those seemed like a "Sakura" as she just wrote general messages and finally stopped writing after I began to tell her I really wanted to meet. (I can read and write Japanese fairly well.).

The problem is that even though their site clearly states it's 5 points for each letter sent, they charged me TEN points for each one. I complained about this, and after a couple of mails to them, they reimbursed me for part of those 10 points. However, thereafter, they charged me 10 points for every first contact, and then didn't respond to my complaints again till after I'd sent 2-3 messages to them about it. They finally contacted me and gave me some crap about how the message is 5 points, but sending it is also 5 points, so the total is 10!! Absolutely nothing about that in their website.

After this, I wanted to quite the site, but the bastards also charge to delete you from the site, so I just did a "hide" thing where my profile doesn't show up to anyone except those I sent messages to. Later, they automatically charged my credit card for anther batch of points which I most definitely did not ask for, and again, I had to send them 2-3 messages complaining ferociously about it before they finally credited it back to my card.Sorry to hear about your negative experience. I have been wondering about Ashley Madison. I posted a question about it at another forum. I started thinking about it, because a friend of a friend has had a good experience with it. He is married to a Japanese.

Doesn't want to get divorced, and meets married women in Japan. He likes it. And says it is much cheaper than P4 P overall. I think he has a very detailed profile, and from what I am reading it seems you have to have a detailed profile and those are the profiles you should look for too. I haven't done this much. Hence my question. But good to know the good and that bad, thank you! Has anyone else used Ashley Madison in Japan? What was / is your experience with it?

I'm getting a bit tired of P4 P lately and like the idea of a bit of romance with my desert LOL!

[Member #4328]

Haven't tried the J site, and only just joined in Australia, and here I think a message is about 5 credits.Aussiegaigin, how was Ashley Madison in Australia? I imagine it is similar to here, so I am interested in your experience with it in Oz.

[AussieGaigin]

Have not been too impressed with what has been on offer here.

My "profile" was for an older lady living in the Sydney area, looking for a casual FWB relationship.

For the first couple of months I got regular new member notifications about women who met none of my requirements (young girls, hundreds of kilometres away, looking for relationship, etc).

These notifications have now dried up, so I have to log into my account regularly to see new matches (at least these do comply for age and location). But still most are looking for VFM relationships, so outside my scope.

There are a couple of recent additions looking for casual encounters, but I haven't had a chance to follow up.

I guess overall I am not too impressed withe service, maybe my expectations are too restrictive?

[Member #4328]

Have not been too impressed with what has been on offer here.

My "profile" was for an older lady living in the Sydney area, looking for a casual FWB relationship.

For the first couple of months I got regular new member notifications about women who met none of my requirements (young girls, hundreds of kilometres away, looking for relationship, etc).

These notifications have now dried up, so I have to log into my account regularly to see new matches (at least these do comply for age and location). But still most are looking for VFM relationships, so outside my scope.

There are a couple of recent additions looking for casual encounters, but I haven't had a chance to follow up.

I guess overall I am not too impressed withe service, maybe my expectations are too restrictive?VFM. Value for money? Aussiegaigin, thanks for your reply! I'm tiring of the P4 P scene at the moment and thinking of other options. Wanted something fun, cheaper and long term. P4 P can really be expensive! Hoping Ashley Madison in Japan.

Was another option. I am a free member but would need to pay to really see if it works or not. I want a FWB relationship or in Japan - "Sex Friendo".

[AussieGaigin]

VFM. Value for money? Aussiegaigin, thanks for your reply! I'm tiring of the P4 P scene at the moment and thinking of other options. Wanted something fun, cheaper and long term. P4 P can really be expensive! Hoping Ashley Madison in Japan.

Was another option. I am a free member but would need to pay to really see if it works or not. I want a FWB relationship or in Japan - "Sex Friendo".VFM = View to Friendship, Marriage (common term in dating sites adverts here).

I am still partly "attached" so I am limited in what I can do at the moment, but I'll keep looking.

[Member #4328]

Guys I know this has been talked about before, but I wanted to ask and see what new places or online SNS sites there are for finding such a woman.

P4 P costs are adding up, and I feel concerned about catching something horrible at some point. Maybe I worry about that too much. Many have said it is difficult to catch something if you are careful, use condoms etc.

Some of you guys I know have not one, but many sex friends. I am relatively good looking for my age. In my 40's.

Can I find a sex friend? If so how, and where?

I would like something long term and I don't mind going out on dates and not having sex everytime.

Advice please gentleman.

[Kerfuffle]

Guys I know this has been talked about before, but I wanted to ask and see what new places or online SNS sites there are for finding such a woman.

P4 P costs are adding up, and I feel concerned about catching something horrible at some point. Maybe I worry about that too much. Many have said it is difficult to catch something if you are careful, use condoms etc.

Some of you guys I know have not one, but many sex friends. I am relatively good looking for my age. In my 40's.

Can I find a sex friend? If so how, and where?

I would like something long term and I don't mind going out on dates and not having sex everytime.

Advice please gentleman.Three words (well, five, actually):

Have game;

Nampa;

And cultivate!

No offense meant in any way, and not to be flippant, but you do need to get out of any self-limiting ruts that may be boxing you in (that's the "having a bit of game" part; you don't have to be anywhere near Brad Pitt, but you do need confidence, which girls/women can smell the absence of from a mile away).

Then nampa it. Never mind any other environmental or local factors or other people or distractions, just chat 'them up (the targets you seek out and are determined to land, just like fishing) to the best of your ability in any variety of given situations, J or E.

And finally, cultivate what you've reaped and sown. Not to place added pressure on your shoulders, but at the end of the day, it's really up to you, both to initiate as well as to maintain the relationships that you and no one else have created.

And I'm not even talking Ashley Madison, which I see as superfluous and unnecessary, both personally and for the nampa scene overall in Japan. When I posted that vice.com Ashley Madison article here last year, I said as much at the time, but added it would be interesting to see how it panned out. Well, more power to anyone who's tried and succeeded with it, but I would submit that when you get down to it, the anecdotal accounts you've read here of Ashley Madison demonstrate that Ashley Madison's only interests are to and for itself, focused on acquiring punters' money, which, like any other Internet-based dating/hookup site that has ever been mentioned on these pages and has run its course over time, I'd say operates counter to your interest as well as that of the art of nampa in Japan.

For refresher tips and ideas, RTFF here in the Nampa threads just like you would any FR in various forums. There are some really good Japan-specific ideas and input with practical applications based on the experience of long-timers with particular expertise in this J-culture. Forget silly PUA stuff that appears all over the Internet with no Japan applicability, and just move forward as only you know best! Best of luck, keep us posted, and don't forget to avail yourself of everyone's help and ask for feedback if need be!

[AussieGaigin]

Three words (well, five, actually):

Have game;

Nampa;

And cultivate!

/..../

For refresher tips and ideas, RTFF here in the Nampa threads just like you would any FR in various forums. There are some really good Japan-specific ideas and input with practical applications based on the experience of long-timers with particular expertise in this J-culture. Forget silly PUA stuff that appears all over the Internet with no Japan applicability, and just move forward as only you know best! Best of luck, keep us posted, and don't forget to avail yourself of everyone's help and ask for feedback if need be!Agree with this 100%.

There are so many opportunities for freebies, I would never consider putting time or money into P4 P.

[Ram Jam]

Yes, it really is possible to get a sex friend in Japan. I have had a few over the past years. I have no confidence in pick up girls (Nampa) in person. I have pulled them all online using various sites like Craigslist, Happymail, and Metropolis.

Basically if you keep posting ads someone will bite. Some are just upfront in their first reply to you that they are looking for a sex friend and you can meet them and go directly to a hotel. Some are more coy and you have to go on a normal date first. If you are single it is very easy, if you are married (and not lying) it is more difficult because about half will not want to meet you if you are married.

I have a long term friend for more than a year that I met on happy mail. I had also lined up a date from Ashley Madison once, but I cancelled at the last minute because I had too many girls at the time.

Though I will warn you that a sex friend is not necessarily the cheapest and certainly not the most stress free option. They can tend to get demanding if you don't email / LINE them enough each day etc. Also I learned you have to approach a sex friend differently than P4P. For P4P you can just lay back and let the woman service you or tell what to do. My sex friends have been more picky about what you do and often want you to take the lead and dominate them etc. I had one that always complained that I was not rough enough (like her old boyfriend was) which led to a case of performance anxiety for a few months.

[Member #4328]

Agree with this 100%.

There are so many opportunities for freebies, I would never consider putting time or money into P4 P.Thanks guys for the replies. Not sure what I will do in the end. But good to hear what you have to say. And yes I should read the Nampa section more.

I do have opportunities, but often they are at work, and I don't want to do anything there. Too much risk. Anyway it is food for thought! Arigatoo!

[Kerfuffle]

Thanks guys for the replies. Not sure what I will do in the end. But good to hear what you have to say. And yes I should read the Nampa section more.

I do have opportunities, but often they are at work, and I don't want to do anything there. Too much risk. Anyway it is food for thought! Arigatoo!Doesn't need to (or necessarily should) be at work; in fact, if you are in a medium-to-larger city, opportunities can flourish as you make them, in various circumstances about town. Just got to poke around, as they say, and uncover or create opportunity where you might not have otherwise considered or thought about. Gambatte!

[Member #4328]

I've been to a few parties where the beer has been flowing and a J -lovely sitting next to me has rubbed her beautiful legs against me. One put her the twins on my arm, that was another turn on. I don't like getting a woody at work.

But recently a colleague rubbed up against me at a meeting. It was nice, but I won't pursue. You guys have any stories like this? I bet you do!

A client put her breast on my arm on purpose while I was checking some papers of hers. Nice!

Men seem to use words to reel in the women while many women use their bodies. I don't mind at all!

[AussieGaigin]

This seems to be a common occurrence, if a girl likes you she will make it obvious.

You just have to weigh up the possibility of conflicts resulting from your working relationship with the girl, esp if the relationship goes pear shaped.

But a lot of J-girls are happy with a one night stand and will forget it happened by the next day. As long as you don't pursue things into an ongoing relationship, you should be fine.

[Member #4495]

Spent the cash and have been working this and pof and dateinasia hard. I'm getting nothing but air.


Dating sites have been in Japan. On other sites I kill it, but in Japan its a lot of work. Finally got JC working for me. I have about 10 girls who want to meet, but nothing under 30. It is a process though.

World friends has sucked ass for me. I am getting nothing there. I tried so many different approaches and still nothing.

All in all I will be pretty good I think when I get there in Feb. Still though I am looking forward to hitting the bars and clubs to see what I can stir up.

[Member #4495]

Hey new to tokyo. Been trying online but it's not happening. Message me if you need a wingman.

[DueReflection]

I realize your post is from well over a year ago but I had some insight to the WorldFriends site I wanted to share that could be helpful.

I have been living in Kansai for about a year, starting using WorldFriends about a month after arriving here. In my personal experience, when I constructed my profile, I was honest as possible (married but looking for something fun, informal; described in detail that I wasn't just looking for a one-nighter. Listed my bio in both English and Japanese). Barely got a 'smile' from other members; did meet one housewife from Osaka and got a BJ from her in a karaoke room first time we met but she is in her mid-50's (which I have no problem with) but nothing to write home about. Deleted the profile.

Next profile I wrote up I listed as few details as possible; checked off as few boxes as possible. Described myself as strictly looking for language exchange / expressed willingness to give English lessons.

And somehow the floodgates opened.

Also, it was worth it to spring for the membership (after getting a bunch of 'smiles' I chose the 30-day option) as once I was able to send private messages I had far more latitude. Again, a lot of 40-50+ ladies so if you're dead set on meeting a 25 yr old then maybe it's not such a great site after all. Me? I am in my mid-40's and prefer someone around my age (or older if they look good).

I personally met 8 different women the first five months and ended up sleeping with 6 of them. Funny, the two who weren't on board were early 30's and looking for serious relationship, etc. , one was a single mother (pass). I had to slow my roll though, as some of you married guys already know, it's a challenge being able to carve out enough free time for yourself and after the first couple of months the 'oh I got lost in Sannomiya' excuse was wearing thin, especially with Map, apps, etc. , being a thumb tap away.

Each new date seemed to be better looking than the last; was seeing an extremely attractive woman, who, is gorgeous and was another who was open to the white devil's love hotel intro date pkg. Really liked her a lot but things fizzled -- I lost patience as she spoke hardly any English, and for some reason was unwilling to utilize the language app on our cell phones. Plus she never paid for *anything* so after a couple months' love hotel / dinner expenditures I cut her off.

I finally settled on one GF that I am still seeing to this day (met in February). While she is in her mid-40's, speaks perfectly good English (she has a translation services gig during the day), is smoking hot, adventurous and she recently got on a 'I want to see what I look like sucking your see**k' jaunt -- even went so far as to buy a tripod for the occasions.

In general, I have lucked out on that site for certain as I seem to have attracted nihonjin women with more than ample breastesses (not a big fan of the 90-lb. Twig arm sect). If the well ever goes dry, first site I will be back on will be that one.

Hope this helps.


Dating sites have been in Japan. On other sites I kill it, but in Japan its a lot of work. Finally got JC working for me. I have about 10 girls who want to meet, but nothing under 30. It is a process though.

World friends has sucked ass for me. I am getting nothing there. I tried so many different approaches and still nothing.

All in all I will be pretty good I think when I get there in Feb. Still though I am looking forward to hitting the bars and clubs to see what I can stir up.

[Osaka3210]

Thank you for the great info. Two questions: 1. Do you indicate that you are married on the website or do you let them know when you meet them? 2. How do you move from I want to teach you English to I want a physical relationship?

Thanks in advance.

[AussieGaigin]

Thank you for the great info. Two questions: 1. Do you indicate that you are married on the website or do you let them know when you meet them? 2. How do you move from I want to teach you English to I want a physical relationship?

Thanks in advance.1) Don't broach the subject yourself; but don't lie if they ask, unless you are sure you can get away with it.

2) Start teaching them English, the physical side should follow naturally (that is why they asked you in the first place).

Good hunting.

[DueReflection]

Thank you for the great info. Two questions: 1. Do you indicate that you are married on the website or do you let them know when you meet them? 2. How do you move from I want to teach you English to I want a physical relationship?

Thanks in advance.1. I believe I did indicate both times that I was married, yes.

2. Best answer I have for that is, the women who are nonjudgmental and open-minded enough to go meet up with a married guy don't seem to have hangups about it. There was some cursory skepticism / good-nature ribbing from a couple of them but there didn't appear to be any sisterhood among any of them (well, except for the couple-few who turned out to be not interested and cited my being married as a deterrent).

[Nitr0]

1. I believe I did indicate both times that I was married, yes.

2. Best answer I have for that is, the women who are nonjudgmental and open-minded enough to go meet up with a married guy don't seem to have hangups about it. There was some cursory skepticism / good-nature ribbing from a couple of them but there didn't appear to be any sisterhood among any of them (well, except for the couple-few who turned out to be not interested and cited my being married as a deterrent).Thanks for these great tips for us married guys.

Here's another question: Did you put your photo up on the site? If yes, were you concerned about an acquaintance seeing it? If no, I guess not having a profile photo did you no harm. (and I assume you sent a photo by private message before meeting?

(As an aside, I like this strategy of being able to signal that you are married up front and then (mostly) have women who are okay with that contact you. Personally, while married I have picked up a few girls in bars who became girlfriends / sexfriends, but doing so takes a lot of time, which as a married guy with young kids is at a real premium in my case. I use Aussiegaijin's strategy of "Don't broach the subject yourself; but don't lie if they ask, unless you are sure you can get away with it. " I have hit it off really well with some smoking hots girls in their 20's, only to have them lose interest when I admit to being married after being directly questioned. My experience is that, if you're picking up women in bars, after you admit you're married perhaps only 1 in 5 still go for it.).

[DueReflection]

Np, it can get dicey. When I was younger, I would front like I was single then had it blow up in my face on a couple different occasions, incidentally with women I really fell hard for (one was the hottest Vietnamese babe I ever saw in my life, used to come and fuck me at my office after everyone else went home for the night.).

Nowadays I probably talk myself out of contention with some fines but it's exhausting; you figure if you go the faux-single guy route, then you're talking about two separate sets of lies to keep track of. If done right, the affair / side dish, whatever you want to call it, should be a fun and relaxing endeavor, and optimally, either she adheres fully to a don't ask / don't tell policy or is appraised of your situation and is genuinely cool with it. A lot of women don't want the long-term emotional attachment so a married guy is a good choice, we're distracted and likely not looking to complicate matters.

As you pointed out, revealing marital status narrows the field but at least this way you can't be accused of misrepresenting yourself.

This thread must have jinxed me as I am no longer seeing the woman I met on WFs (LOL) and I actually just signed back up on the site.

As for the picture, if ever confronted my profile merely says I am looking for language exchange / Japanese lessons, it's plausible deniability.

But I think 15 yrs in, my wife not being an idiot and all, she knows what I am up to and just kinda looks the other way -- she probably views it as less work for her. Likewise time is at a premium, I don't want to have to invest too much time away from the home front.


Thanks for these great tips for us married guys.

Here's another question: Did you put your photo up on the site? If yes, were you concerned about an acquaintance seeing it? If no, I guess not having a profile photo did you no harm. (and I assume you sent a photo by private message before meeting?

(As an aside, I like this strategy of being able to signal that you are married up front and then (mostly) have women who are okay with that contact you. Personally, while married I have picked up a few girls in bars who became girlfriends / sexfriends, but doing so takes a lot of time, which as a married guy with young kids is at a real premium in my case. I use Aussiegaijin's strategy of "Don't broach the subject yourself; but don't lie if they ask, unless you are sure you can get away with it. " I have hit it off really well with some smoking hots girls in their 20's, only to have them lose interest when I admit to being married after being directly questioned. My experience is that, if you're picking up women in bars, after you admit you're married perhaps only 1 in 5 still go for it.).

[LoveShibuyaGirls]

Come on guys, no reports for over a year?

Time was, the line between nampa and fuzoku was blurred and this thread was full of reports of picking chicks up off the street.

[Jpn Dude]

It's been a long time since I've posted on the Nampa forum.

In the past month, I've been talking to three ladies via the Skout app. They are all Filipina and happen to be around Aichi-ken, so I decided to go "on tour" and see the ladies. This is my first tour since I did a "Cupid Tour of Kyushu" visiting 3 ladies a couple of years ago.

On Saturday, I'll be taking the Shinkansen to see an 18-year-old working at a local omise. She claims to have had sex only with her ex-BF over a year ago. I have a local business hotel reserved and all she asked was for some sweet omiyage. She's already at "I love you" phase. Yikes!

After saying our goodbyes on Sunday afternoon, I'll be using a local train for about 30 minutes to meet up with lady #2, a 49-year-old mama-san with a smokin' body. She said we can use her club to fool around in before customers come in around 8 pm. According to her, she hasn't been with a man since her hubby passed away 10 years ago. Hmmm.

That night, I have a place rserved on the opposite side of Nagoya. I plan to just have a quiet evening in the room or find a local massage shop. The next morning I'll meet up with a 22-year-old in Japan on a tourist visa. She can leave her relative's home for a few hours in the morning. Lucky for me, check out time is noon.

Then I come back to Tokyo and rest before going back to work on Tuesday. Wish me luck!

[Jpn Dude]

So I'm on Skout and spot this lovely Filipina ladyboy profile. Looks like a visiting escort, so I play the "serious relationship" card. Thats where I tell them I'm looking for "real love" and not just want to fuck (yeah right). It's worked a few times in the past and made some good friends and gotten relatively free fucks (I paid for dinner only).

So this girl tells me she's in town for a week with her friend. I don't ask her about escorting (the next day I found her ad in CL) and she gives no hints about compensation but she asks if I'm OK with her being a ladyboy. I said sure. We agree to meet for light dinner near her hotel in Shinjuku. She is tall, slender, pretty face and a body with nice curves and very leggy, which are a big turn-on. The date goes on well, so much that she invites me up to her room. I was a little weary it might be a setup where her pimp or someone else might be waiting there for trouble.

As we entered, she introduced me to her friend, a big sized masculine looking ladyboy. I got very turned off, but they made me feel at home. We had some small talk in the tiny room that barely fit 2 people, much less with my big body around. They offered me a coke and they sat me down in bed to watch TV. Then the bigger girl asked if I'm tired and offered a massage. I was surprised and said, "Oh, well, yeah, I think so. " The sexy girl I liked asked if I'm OK with it and I said yes but inside I was a little nervous and uneasy thinking they might make a grab for my wallet inside my bag. But I just followed their lead.

They start removing my clothes and the big girl places my head on her lap while she takes of her bra and lays her operated on boobs on my face. The sexy girl started massaging my legs and eventually started playing with my cock. I wanted to relax but was still feeling a little hesitant about the situation. The sexy girl was talking dirty to me and teasing my cock while the big girl was being sweet and kissing me on the face and chest. They used some oil on me and I was getting rock hard. I really wanted sexy girl to lay those sweet lips on my cock but she began to pump it harder just inches from her mouth. I was going to us my hand to guide her head closer but at that moment I popped to spewed all over the bed and my legs. She jerked her head back and her hand released my cock. Not exactly the way I wanted it to end but I spewed a lot all over the place.

They cleaned me up and let me rest. I wanted to get dressed and out of there as soon as possible. But they were so nice. Then the big one asked if I had a tip for them. I'm like "uhmmm, I didn't think about that. Maybe next time?" I can see the disappointment in the big girl's face. The sexy girl said not to worry, it's OK. After a few minutes, I was going out the door thinking, "My god, what just really happened?" The sexy girl sent me away with "I love you. Text you later."

[BionicMan]

So I'm on Skout and spot this lovely Filipina l...."I believe you are not aware of the fact the subject of your report is a big "no-no" on the forum.

Better you read forum rules and eventually delete this report to avoid a moderator or the admin ban you.

[Pita123]

If you have a World Friends Premium membership and the girl doesn't, can she read the private message? Can you send an email or phone number in the private message?

[JonSilverHand]

Ok, so I am new to this forum. I used to use Tokyo Adult Guide, but I really don't like that forum. Most of the people on there act all high and mighty like their shit doesn't stink. It is annoying. From lurking on here often and reading the posts, most of the users on here seem more mature.

Anyway, so I have a Japanese girlfriend that I have been with for about 4 years now and I am living with her in an apartment. We actually rent out some farm space in one of these community gardens where neighbors can all grow vegetables. So we rented out some space to grow some vegetables and there is this Japanese woman that is renting out a space next to mine to grow vegetables as well.

So, when I first met her I noticed that she is attracted to me (or she is putting on a good act) because she smiles a lot, makes direct eye contact and holds it without looking away much, laughs at things I say even when they are not that funny and she even asked me if I could teach her English privately when she asked me what work I do. I told her that I do online translation work and part time English teaching and she seemed really surprised and happy to hear that.

So we exchange LINE contacts and I have taught her 3 English lessons so far. She wants to study once a week. A couple weeks ago, we got into a conversation about hobbies and I mentioned that I like to drink IPAs and beer in general and she told me that she does too. So I mentioned that we can drink sometime and maybe even have like a relaxing free talk type English lesson and drink on the beach (I live near the beach). She liked the idea and a couple days later, she messaged me on LINE inviting me to come drink with her and another friend of hers (Japanese woman) at this local restaurant / bar.

I show up and we order a bunch of drinks and we all end up pretty drunk. I was telling a lot of jokes and just making them laugh and they both seemed really relaxed around me. I noticed that the woman that I first met kept slapping and touching my arm like after I made a joke. She would sort of laugh and slap or touch my arm in reaction to the joke.

The problem is she mentioned that she is married and she knows I have a girlfriend too. I know that sleeping with a married woman in Japan can cause a lot of legal issues where you can be sued for a lot of money by the husband. But my question is. How common is this?

I ask because I know of some married couples that know they cheat on each other and they don't seem to even care. I don't know if this is Japanese culture but I noticed that some spouses will know that when their partner is "working late" or "going out with the girls" it actually means they are out cheating, but neither of them makes a big legal thing out of it.

I know it is really messed up to say this, but although I care about my girlfriend, I get bored and I have always like hooking up with women. I would do a lot of day game before I met my current GF. Also, even though this woman is married, so is really attractive and she seems either bored of her husband or just attracted to me.

I sometimes test the waters by telling sort of hentai oyaji gags (middle-aged man jokes) and she seems to really like them. I actually had a lesson with her last week and I joked with her and did some kino on her and she wasn't moving away from me or reacting overtly uninterested. She did say that she was a little nervous and giggled. I later apologized and said sorry if I tell too many perverted jokes and she said "No, it is ok. Those are my favorite. " So I am not sure if that is her way of letting me know she is down.

So before the English lesson began, she took out her textbooks and said, "Let's do it!" and I made a joke about that. I said "Let's do. IT?" Ok, sounds good. She knew what I meant and laughed. I did kino on her while I said this joke and put my arm around her shoulders. She laughed and said "but your girlfriend will be angry." Now, I am puzzled by this response because she didn't say "but my husband will be angry."

Because she only mentioned my girlfriend. Could it be that she is interested in maybe hooking up with me but she is worried about my girlfriend only?

In the near future I want to try to talk her into meeting with me without her friend to drink together and see how she acts around me. I don't want to make any moves on her like kissing or anything. I was thinking of just getting drunk with her and playing some drinking games and joke around with her and see how she responds.

Anyway, I apologize for the long post. This is just a complicated situation and I am wondering how to go about finding out if this woman is down to hook up with me without me making moves on her.

I would appreciate anyone's advice on here that has been in a similar situation with a bored and horny married Japanese woman.

[The Tanuki]

Anyway, I apologize for the long post. This is just a complicated situation and I am wondering how to go about finding out if this woman is down to hook up with me without me making moves on her.

I would appreciate anyone's advice on here that has been in a similar situation with a bored and horny married Japanese woman.My wife (Japanese) hung out with a bunch of other married ladies while we were living in Shibuya several years back. Basically all those women had boy toys ongoing. Some were the tutors for their kids, too. Nice deal to spend an hour teaching shit and then go get laid.

There are a number of stories in the media about how married couples rarely talk, much less have sex. And it got a lot more common for the wives to step out and have some fun. I don't want to generalize too much, but on the surface it appears to be a rather normal thing in Japan. And folks there don't have the religion as a hang up about sex, as it's recognized as a normal part of life.

Not recommending either path in your case, just providing some info I've collected over the years. YMMV.

TT.

[Figrindan2]

Have fun.

With all due respect, this website is for sex and this forum is for NAMPA. Your post belongs on some kind of Dear Abby or whatever the 21st century equivalent is.

[JonSilverHand]

My wife (Japanese) hung out with a bunch of other married ladies while we were living in Shibuya several years back. Basically all those women had boy toys ongoing. Some were the tutors for their kids, too. Nice deal to spend an hour teaching shit and then go get laid.

There are a number of stories in the media about how married couples rarely talk, much less have sex. And it got a lot more common for the wives to step out and have some fun. I don't want to generalize too much, but on the surface it appears to be a rather normal thing in Japan. And folks there don't have the religion as a hang up about sex, as it's recognized as a normal part of life..Yes, I appreciate your response. It definitely gives some insight. I have definitely been one of those types of private English tutors that hooks up with lonely Japanese housewives. I only did this when I was single here in Japan. I have been living in Japan almost 10 years now, I was single for the majority of the time I have been here.

I think since she knows where I live and has met my girlfriend before. Most likely NOT going to pursue her, regardless of how hot she is because it just is not worth the trouble.

I know I sound horrible but I usually need a new sex friend every 4 or 5 years. Before I met my current girlfriend, I had a long-term sex friend which was a Japanese woman that was my roommate for about 2 years.

Before my met my roommate, I was living alone and completely single. I did day game, but I never really liked dating. Aside from day game, I would sometimes post private English teaching ads on the walls of city halls and community centers to meet a couple new Japanese women.

I am thinking about doing that again, but this time making the ad a little more obvious that I am looking for someone to hook up with. Of course, I can not just write down that I want a sex friend, since the staff will take down my ad immediately haha.

I am thinking of maybe putting something like: Private English teacher looking for bored housewives to teach English and have fun together. I am still deciding what to put haha.

Anyway, what are some other places good for meeting single or lonely Japanese women?

[JonSilverHand]

My wife (Japanese) hung out with a bunch of other married ladies while we were living in Shibuya several years back. Basically all those women had boy toys ongoing. Some were the tutors for their kids, too. Nice deal to spend an hour teaching shit and then go get laid.

There are a number of stories in the media about how married couples rarely talk, much less have sex. And it got a lot more common for the wives to step out and have some fun. I don't want to generalize too much, but on the surface it appears to be a rather normal thing in Japan. And folks there don't have the religion as a hang up about sex, as it's recognized as a normal part of life.Yes, thank you for the message. Actually, I used to have a long-term sex friend / roommate who is a Japanese woman that started out as an English student. She was a student from an Eikaiwa, rather than my usual, which is a private English student. I usually try to avoid hooking up with students from an Eikaiwa I work at (even part time jobs that I do not care about losing) just to avoid legal issues with the school, should drama arise out of such a relationship.

Before I had this long-term sex friend / roommate I would do day game in various places downtown and usually start out by collecting LINE contacts of various women. I have done day game and taken Japanese women directly to love hotels, but usually that takes so much energy out of me, that I usually do not do that.

I am getting older and going out to do day game is sort of becoming a pain in the ass to be honest haha. I am tempted to maybe post private English teaching ads up in city hall and various community centers, which is something I used to do years ago. Most of the women that contact me via the email I listed would want to study English seriously, while the other half were just looking for some casual free talk to get to know me and hook up.

I have lived in Japan for almost 10 years, so I know pretty much right away which type a particular woman is when I first meet her. This woman wants to study English, but I can tell she is mostly just a bored housewife that is looking for companionship or someone to talk to or hook up with.

Since she knows the area I live in, I do not want to chance hooking up with her, so I am thinking of maybe just keeping her as an English student and just finding other single women.

So none of these guys you knew that were boy toys for married women never ran into legal issues with their husbands or anything like that?

[AussieGaigin]

The problem is she mentioned that she is married and she knows I have a girlfriend too. I know that sleeping with a married woman in Japan can cause a lot of legal issues where you can be sued for a lot of money by the husband. But my question is. How common is this?

I ask because I know of some married couples that know they cheat on each other and they don't seem to even care. I don't know if this is Japanese culture but I noticed that some spouses will know that when their partner is "working late" or "going out with the girls" it actually means they are out cheating, but neither of them makes a big legal thing out of it.I have been a "nampa practitioner" for around 40 years, In Japan and mostly here in Australia (where there was no shortage of J girls to work on).

I have done a lot of reading on Japanese sexuality, and nowhere have I seen mention of anyone being able to be sued for screwing someone else's wife or GF. I'm sure the lady will be discrete, even if the practice is socially accepted. If you did get caught out, probably the worst that could happen is the husband sends a Yakuza operative around to rearrange your organs.

In my early travels back in the 1980-90's when there was little internet, I used print media to seek out companions who would be interested in meeting up for a meal / chat and showing me around their local areas. I met quite a few this way and mostly a sex encounter was expected; if they didn't get one, they wouldn't come back a second day.

Japanese women have little romantic attachment to sex. I have lived with them here, often in excess of 12 months; at the end of their visas, they just pack up and go home, never to be heard of again.

[JonSilverHand]

I have been a "nampa practitioner" for around 40 years, In Japan and mostly here in Australia (where there was no shortage of J girls to work on).

I have done a lot of reading on Japanese sexuality, and nowhere have I seen mention of anyone being able to be sued for screwing someone else's wife or GF. I'm sure the lady will be discrete, even if the practice is socially accepted. If you did get caught out, probably the worst that could happen is the husband sends a Yakuza operative around to rearrange your organs.

In my early travels back in the 1980-90's when there was little internet, I used print media to seek out companions who would be interested in meeting up for a meal / chat and showing me around their local areas. I met quite a few this way and mostly a sex encounter was expected; if they didn't get one, they wouldn't come back a second day.

Japanese women have little romantic attachment to sex. I have lived with them here, often in excess of 12 months; at the end of their visas, they just pack up and go home, never to be heard of again.Yes, I actually come across a couple of interesting articles online on this topic:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2015/06/13/a-japanese-court-seems-to-have-ruled-that-adultery-is-not-adultery-if-money-is-involved/

This is actually surprising because if this woman really does want to hook up. She might know about this already and that is why she wants me to "teach her English". She pays me cash after every lesson, so I guess if anything else goes down afterward. That can just be seen as well, hey money is involved so no adultery right?

I also came across this article:

https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20190220/p2a/00m/0na/005000c

So, it seems like even in extreme cases where cheating leads to a divorce (it usually doesn't), the spouse can't sue the extramarital lover unless their are "exceptional circumstances". Not sure what some examples of those would be though.

Another thing I noticed is that this woman that I teach English to seems to be using honne / tatamae on my GF. So the day that she met my GF in the garden, they were chatting a little while and when my GF said she does work as an esthetician and that maybe after the holidays she can have a session, she seemed interested and was going on about how she gets stiff shoulders blah blah.

So my GF exchanges LINE with her. After the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve, I messaged this woman wishing her a happy new year and so my did GF. The woman responded to me right away wishing me a happy new year but did not reply at all to my GF on LINE.

I know this might mean nothing, but if she really is a more discreet type, then this might be why she is trying to avoid my GF. She might also feel guilty for being interested in me sexually, so she wants to avoid contact with her.

I am supposed to meet with her tomorrow morning for another English lesson. I plan to just keep her as an English student and only maybe hook up with her if she makes moves on me or starts sending me more obvious hints. We sometimes get drunk together, so if she continues to show interest in me, she will probably only show it when she is drunk.

Yes, I know that everything is mostly online these days, but I still use print media once in a while. You sound like someone with way more time and experience here in Japan than me. I hope you do not mind me asking for specific examples of places where you would put up your print media (private English teaching ads?) and what places led to women actually contacting you?

I ask because the only places I have been allowed to put up my teaching ad with my contact information is at city hall, community centers and a couple kominkan in the local area. There is a cultural community center not far from where I live and I post my ads there.

There must be other types of places that I am completely missing out on?

[JonSilverHand]

Have fun.

With all due respect, this website is for sex and this forum is for NAMPA. Your post belongs on some kind of Dear Abby or whatever the 21st century equivalent is.Yes, I apologize. Since this is a Nampa forum, I did want to ask what are some common places (besides subway stations, outside of bars / pubs and shopping centers) where someone in a second tier city in Japan can do Nampa with some success?

I have done Nampa in the locations I have mentioned above, but the annoying thing is sometimes if I hang around too long in one area, security will tell me to move along. I have actually had a security guard patrolling around the station with his eye on me like I was some sort of criminal and I was only making conversation with women once in a while and not overly aggressive at all.

I have found that outside of smaller subway stations has been much easier for me, even though there are way less woman flowing in and out of them. When I do come across a woman walking alone, it is quiet enough for us to actually have a decent conversation.

Anyway, I thought I would ask on here because I have not done Nampa in a while. I might get back into it when it warms up in the summer time.

[Drbombay]

Yes, thank you for the message. Actually, I used to have a long-term sex friend / roommate who is a Japanese woman that started out as an English student. She was a student from an Eikaiwa, rather than my usual, which is a private English student. I usually try to avoid hooking up with students from an Eikaiwa I work at (even part time jobs that I do not care about losing) just to avoid legal issues with the school, should drama arise out of such a relationship.

Before I had this long-term sex friend / roommate I would do day game in various places downtown and usually start out by collecting LINE contacts of various women. I have done day game and taken Japanese women directly to love hotels, but usually that takes so much energy out of me, that I usually do not do that.

I am getting older and going out to do day game is sort of becoming a pain in the ass to be honest haha. I am tempted to maybe post private English teaching ads up in city hall and various community centers, which is something I used to do years ago. Most of the women that contact me via the email I listed would want to study English seriously, while the other half were just looking for some casual free talk to get to know me and hook up.

I have lived in Japan for almost 10 years, so I know pretty much right away which type a particular woman is when I first meet her. This woman wants to study English, but I can tell she is mostly just a bored housewife that is looking for companionship or someone to talk to or hook up with.

Since she knows the area I live in, I do not want to chance hooking up with her, so I am thinking of maybe just keeping her as an English student and just finding other single women.

So none of these guys you knew that were boy toys for married women never ran into legal issues with their husbands or anything like that?There are many bored housewives out there just willing to have a chance for some extra fun. Some of them resort to the "escort" business and there are a few sites that offer them up for meetings. It is true, that if one party in the marriage feels cheated, they can sue the other partner's mistress / fling. I know of someone whose wife's friend did just that so he has to be extra careful when he steps out.

[Rick Rock]

If you could get in trouble for fucking married Japanese women I would be doing 40 years of hard labor.

Some of you guys are so scared of life I have to wonder how you get out of bed in the morning.

[AussieGaigin]

Have fun.

With all due respect, this website is for sex and this forum is for NAMPA. Your post belongs on some kind of Dear Abby or whatever the 21st century equivalent is.I thought it was a very good essay on the the Nampa scene works.

He has to be a bit more assertive and lead the girl, not wait for her to make the decisions.

[JonSilverHand]

I thought it was a very good essay on the the Nampa scene works.

He has to be a bit more assertive and lead the girl, not wait for her to make the decisions.I have experience leading girls after doing Nampa / day game but I want to step lightly with this woman because she knows my GF and where I live.

Honestly, I just decided to do Nampa on other women to avoid any issues with this one woman that just knows too much about me.

[JonSilverHand]

If you could get in trouble for fucking married Japanese women I would be doing 40 years of hard labor.

Some of you guys are so scared of life I have to wonder how you get out of bed in the morning.Well, I do also have a GF and I do not want her to know about it. Also, Drbombay did mention below that he knows about someone who literally just got into a lot of trouble for this type of thing.

[Drbombay]

Well, I do also have a GF and I do not want her to know about it. Also, Drbombay did mention below that he knows about someone who literally just got into a lot of trouble for this type of thing.The laws are crazy over here. It will be one way if you are Japanese, and if you are a foreigner, you will get a different set of rules. Even among us foreigners, if you are associated with the US military here you get a subset of the different rules. Heck, my wife even told me about the ability to be sued by the lovers partner. Maybe it is a scare tactic to keep one in place but I have found, they may be nice sometimes, but come between a Japanese woman and some money, they're a different beast!

[Rick Rock]

my wife even told me about the ability to be sued by the lovers partner. Maybe it is a scare tacticAn EX GF once told me that if I cheated I'd be cursed by a witch and my cock would fall off.

[AussieGaigin]

Recently I have found a large number of videos on YouTube reviewing some of Japan's better love hotels.

Might be useful for anyone wanting to impress their partners, or even just for the inquisitive.

[LonelyMonger30]

In 1998 I was in a bookstore and stumbled across a book that changed the quality and quantity of chicas I bang. The book is titled: How to Succeed with Women, written by Ron Louis and David Copeland. If you don't know how to pick up chicks, you don't know what to say, or you don't do well snagging the ladies, get yourself a copy of this book, or one like it, and fuggin' read it cover to cover! This book worked for me, it might work for you. It is, of course, written by Americans, but I have found the techniques work on women around the world. Six months ago I gave my copy of that book to my five foot ten inch tall 13 year old son. A couple of nights ago, on Halloween, he brought home two 15 year old girls from his jr high girls volleyball team and two 14 year old girls from the girls track team. Needless to say his mom was PO'd when she caught him upstairs with one of the 14year olds who had her top off. I was told by my wife to punish him severely. Behind closed doors I asked him how he managed to convince the girls to do what they did. He said, 'Dad, I tried following the ideas in the book you gave me. '

So there you have it. My "secret" is out. If you have questions I'm happy to answer them.I just now ordered the book off Amazon after reading your review. 33 year old chap here who has never once gotten sex with out paying! Hope it works magic!

[Yznem]

Am 25, Shoulder length long hair, athletic / muscular build, 180 cm.

Going to Tokyo and Osaka in March and would like to get as much tail as possible, so I wanted to ask here. Is there a specific style that the girls over there prefer, like classy or elegant? Beard, no beard? Jewelry, accessories etc cetera? I am thinking of visiting THC but I'd like some amateur girls first.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

[AussieGaigin]

Like most countries, girls have varying taste in men, not stereotypes.

Just be tidy, clean, and charming.

Knowing some basics about the country, customs, geography, food, etc really helps. Ask lots of questions, they are usually keen to help.

[Miss MaryHinge]

So in the summer I'll be hitting some main cities for three weeks on a food and culture visit, mainly, hopefully intersperse with some poontang.

I'm used to the FL and P4 P scene in Thailand and a bit in Vietnam, where you just need to get on Line or Wechat and so on to start filtering and negotiating.

I realise it is probably different here to some degrees. So, if a non-Japanese speaking guy wants to bang a few cute uni students or young women or MILFs looking for some extra cash, where.

Should I start looking?

Furthermore what kind of prices do these girls ask for FS on outcalls? I've seen on a few sites that FS isn't always on the table, just caressing, stroking or something.

If I could just get a quick read of the situation, I could decide whether it's worth the effort and / or $.

Thanks for any helpful forthcoming.

[AussieGaigin]

So in the summer I'll be hitting some main cities for three weeks on a food and culture visit, mainly, hopefully intersperse with some poontang.

I'm used to the FL and P4 P scene in Thailand and a bit in Vietnam, where you just need to get on Line or Wechat and so on to start filtering and negotiating.

I realise it is probably different here to some degrees. So, if a non-Japanese speaking guy wants to bang a few cute uni students or young women or MILFs looking for some extra cash, where.

Should I start looking?

Furthermore what kind of prices do these girls ask for FS on outcalls? I've seen on a few sites that FS isn't always on the table, just caressing, stroking or something.

If I could just get a quick read of the situation, I could decide whether it's worth the effort and / or $.

Thanks for any helpful forthcoming.Nampa is the art of getting sex without paying directly for it. You might have to "wine and dine" the girl (nothing expensive) and perhaps pay for a love hotel to get it.

There are a few techniques for it, as described in earlier posts here. It does come down to techniques and approach, so YMMV. It is just a matter of manipulating your may through social media.

[Maxxxi]

Hi guys,

I haven't been writing here for quite some time, but had a very good Nampa experience in Tokyo in 2010. How is the current situation with Nampa?

I'm turning 60 and I would like to take a trip to some Nampa paradise. Actually I'm wondering wether to come back to Japan or maybe some other country in Asia. Any suggestions?

[AussieGaigin]

Hi guys,

I haven't been writing here for quite some time, but had a very good Nampa experience in Tokyo in 2010. How is the current situation with Nampa?

I'm turning 60 and I would like to take a trip to some Nampa paradise. Actually I'm wondering wether to come back to Japan or maybe some other country in Asia. Any suggestions?Back when I was that age, I had no problems using nampa to get J-women in Japan (or Australia) in their late 20's or older. I lied about my age a few times, but they never queried it. Just recently I chatted up a local university student in Sydney for a date, so I haven't lost my touch LOL.

Places like Thailand or Phils might be easier if you're into p4 p. I never resorted to that in Japan.

[Maxxxi]

Back when I was that age, I had no problems using nampa to get J-women in Japan (or Australia) in their late 20's or older. I lied about my age a few times, but they never queried it. Just recently I chatted up a local university student in Sydney for a date, so I haven't lost my touch LOL.

Places like Thailand or Phils might be easier if you're into p4 p. I never resorted to that in Japan.No way, I feel so good with Nampa, why should I p4 p?

Thanks for your reply!