Married and Mongering

[Chocha Monger]

Many mongers are married but nonetheless still tippy toe in the paid pussy market for strange ass. This of course brings its own unique challenges and consequences that merit a dedicated thread of discussion. I would like mongers who are married, divorced or single to post their views, experiences, and advice on this topic. The idea for this thread came about after reading posts from more than one married monger in a crisis in the past week. Hopefully, the information posted here will help married, or soon to be married, mongers headed for or already in a crisis.

[Carlos Primeros]

Hi Concha Monger.

I was married for 20 year. Luckily divorced, living together with a dentist in Rio and still mongering.

Why?

1) my 20 years of marriage was an ordeal. The last 8 years I tried to rescue my marriage and it was bad. Bad. Bad. Once you discover that your marriage is not going to work anymore, get the divorce and do not try to hang on. Period!

2) I met a student in Rio which was working on the side. We had been friends and now we are like an old couple. She is 35 and I am over 50, she did work to get the money to survive. Today she is a dentist in Rio and when I am in Rio I stay with here.

3) Why do I continue to monger? My GF gives me everything I want. GF-sex and really EVERYTHING. BUT I like to have a change from time to time. This does not have anything to do with love. She loves me and I love her (a little bit jaded) but from time to time a new ass is nice. Fucking a GP is only like "a handshake" to another girl. Nother personal!

Does this explain things?

Carlos Primeros

[Chocha Monger]

Hi Concha Monger.

I was married for 20 year. Luckily divorced, living together with a dentist in Rio and still mongering.

Why?

1) my 20 years of marriage was an ordeal. The last 8 years I tried to rescue my marriage and it was bad. Bad. Bad. Once you discover that your marriage is not going to work anymore, get the divorce and do not try to hang on. Period!

2) I met a student in Rio which was working on the side. We had been friends and now we are like an old couple. She is 35 and I am over 50, she did work to get the money to survive. Today she is a dentist in Rio and when I am in Rio I stay with here.

3) Why do I continue to monger? My GF gives me everything I want. GF-sex and really EVERYTHING. BUT I like to have a change from time to time. This does not have anything to do with love. She loves me and I love her (a little bit jaded) but from time to time a new ass is nice. Fucking a GP is only like "a handshake" to another girl. Nother personal!

Does this explain things?

Carlos PrimerosCarlos,

I certainly understand your decisions. Have you ever considered getting married again? And if so, would you still monger?

[Dreams]

Many mongers are married but nonetheless still tippy toe in the paid pussy market for strange ass. This of course brings its own unique challenges and consequences that merit a dedicated thread of discussion. I would like mongers who are married, divorced or single to post their views, experiences, and advice on this topic. The idea for this thread came about after reading posts from more than one married monger in a crisis in the past week. Hopefully, the information posted here will help married, or soon to be married, mongers headed for or already in a crisis.Since you ask: I have been married since more than 40 years, have kids and grand kids, love them all dearly.

I have mongered all over the world since. 40 years. Why: Just as some guys need variety in their food, and go to all sorts of restaurants, I need both quantity and variety in my sex life. This is something that no single woman can give me. My 60 year old wife cannot give me all the sex I still need. Why bother her, when I can buy what I need easily elsewhere?

Nothing to do with love. I am quite sure that many guys, who refrain themselves to monger on some stupid moral basis, do not love their wife as I do love mine. My mongering activities have in fact preventing me to indulge in affairs, which would have been far more damaging to my married life. Wgs have in fact protected my marriage.

I am sure mine is not a unique experience, looking forward to hearing from other's.

[LittleTruths]

This is going to be an interesting thread as there is plenty of fertile ground and endless possible opinions / points of view on the subject.

Personally, although I've never been married, the times that I have been involved in a meaningful and loving relationship (like I imagine one that includes marriage should be) I didn't go much after strange skirts.

It's a very touchy subject, because while on one side friendship and loyalty to your partner are very important building blocks of a relationship, on the other side getting some on the side doesn't mean much at all, expecially when the agreement with your partner is along the lines of;"don't do it, but if you have to, just do it protected so that you don't bring diseases back home and don't let me know shit about it".

Pussy can get boring and one needs some variety, so while I firmly believe in the nuclear family prototype I am also ready to admitt that both partners should have their eyes wide open and be realistic when setting up the terms on which their relationship is founded. Ipocricy hasn't done anyone any favour ever, and together with lies it can hurt someone's feelings real bad.

That's all for now, let's see how the thread developes!

Bless

[LittleTruths]

Nothing to do with love. I am quite sure that many guys, who refrain themselves to monger on some stupid moral basis, do not love their wife as I do love mine. My mongering activities have in fact preventing me to indulge in affairs, which would have been far more damaging to my married life. Wgs have in fact protected my marriage.That is an interesting point of view, and quite agreable too I may add. I'm very curious tho; have you been dealing with this openly with your wife, or is she oblivious of your activities?

[Dreams]

That is an interesting point of view, and quite agreable too I may add. I'm very curious tho; have you been dealing with this openly with your wife, or is she oblivious of your activities?I expected this (good and fair) question, but did not provide the answer spontaneously, so that the thread stays alive.

Answer is "no", in a sense that I never told her and she never asked. Does she know, or at least suspect it? Most likely, (she once found a condom somewhere it should not have been) but she does not care, as long as it does not interfer at all with our lifes (I only monger while travelling, or occasionnally near home if she is away somewhere) and yes I do not indulge in any "risky" behaviors).

That's where my comment about WGs being better than affairs comes in: an affair involves ONE woman, who can be a threat, while mongering involves, in my case, probably not far from 1000 women, so none has ever been a threat to my wife.

It is a bit like a wife who let her husband go and play golf, and / or drink with his friends regularly, in exchange of which he comes back happy at home. Except that I do not play golf but play with the girls.

There is another obvious question to be asked, but I will ask to see it asked to answer.

[LittleTruths]

There is another obvious question to be asked, but I will ask to see it asked to answer.Obviously indeed, how would you feel about it if you knew your wife engaged in the same kind of activities?
Because some solutions make sense logically, but I'm interested in trying to find out how logic and feelings like jealousy get along together in this matter.
My interest is genuine, not trying to promote any morality here and you're likely twice my age so I'm all ears.

[Dreams]

Obviously indeed, how would you feel about it if you knew your wife engaged in the same kind of activities?

Because some solutions make sense logically, but I'm interested in trying to find out how logic and feelings like jealousy get along together in this matter.

My interest is genuine, not trying to promote any morality here and you're likely twice my age so I'm all ears. You may be young, but already clever, my friend!

You ask the next obvious question.

I run the risk of being branded as hypocritical, or worst, machist, but here is my answer:

Women, in general, (there are of course exceptions) are less sexually driven than men. Hence the reason why there are so few male prostitutes. Most (again, not all, I know some exceptions, of course) 60+ years old women do not care much about sex, while most men of the same age do. If you ask me if I would mind if my wife was occasionnally going to an MP and being helped by a male masseur who would make her cum, I would not mind. Since I am not really into it with her anymore, no more than she is with me, let each of us get what we need elsewhere, can't see any problem with that. If it sex, fine, if it gardening (she loves it, I don't) , fine, if it is golf, fine. Perhaps she does go to an MP, actually, I don't know.

I would mind though if she had an affair. And in most cases, women have affairs, which involves betrayal of love, while mongering does not.

To be honest, I had once an affair with an office colleague, and this was the only time I felt guilty. It lasted for a while, and ended when I felt the irrepressible need to go back to mongering, while still involved in the affair. In addition to the difficulty to manage wife, mistress, kids, work, WGs, at the same time, was this guilty feeling. I happily went back to my wife. And the WGs.

Hope that this makes some sense.

[Bogknib]

I've been married for 10 years and never once cheated on my wife once until the last six months. Since then I have gone crazy for pussy and have fucked more than a dozen girls. Some WGs and some non pros. I have recorded many of my exploits on the Malawi thread. I love my wife more than anything in the world, and totally concur with 'Dreams' but crave the buzz of the mongering experience. When I pick up a street girl my heart races and the sensation overwhelms me. It's better than any drug or alcohol. I love in-car action as well. Doing something so illicit and the chance of being caught excite me tremendously. When my wife is in town I am an angel but when she goes away on business I become the proverbial dog with two dicks!

[LittleTruths]

You may be young, but already clever, my friend!

You ask the next obvious question.

I run the risk of being branded as hypocritical, or worst, machist, but here is my answer:

Women, in general, (there are of course exceptions) are less sexually driven than men. Hence the reason why there are so few male prostitutes. Most (again, not all, I know some exceptions, of course) 60+ years old women do not care much about sex, while most men of the same age do. If you ask me if I would mind if my wife was occasionnally going to an MP and being helped by a male masseur who would make her cum, I would not mind. Since I am not really into it with her anymore, no more than she is with me, let each of us get what we need elsewhere, can't see any problem with that. If it sex, fine, if it gardening (she loves it, I don't) , fine, if it is golf, fine. Perhaps she does go to an MP, actually, I don't know.

I would mind though if she had an affair. And in most cases, women have affairs, which involves betrayal of love, while mongering does not.

To be honest, I had once an affair with an office colleague, and this was the only time I felt guilty. It lasted for a while, and ended when I felt the irrepressible need to go back to mongering, while still involved in the affair. In addition to the difficulty to manage wife, mistress, kids, work, WGs, at the same time, was this guilty feeling. I happily went back to my wife. And the WGs.

Hope that this makes some sense. Thank you my friend, but there is very little cleverness in voicing the obvious I'm afraid!

However, yes it does make sense. Betrayal of love comes with emotional involvement to someone other than the partner and not with the simple physical act by itself. I can agree with that, or at least see where that may come from. Perhaps in the case of a long lasting relationship with marriage, kids and all that feeling of belonging that must come with it, in the big picture of things if the man is still having some fun with hookers here and there then it must be a negligible thing as long as it can be kept on the low.

In my relatively short (one year each) but intense loving relationships, I have found myself going to get some on the side most often as some kind of reaction to tensions and strains that were in the relationship. I perceived my acts as some "wrongdoing" that my girl "deserved" for some reason, but then again I can't imagine what it has to be like to be in a relationship for 10 or 20 or even 40 years like some of you guys as I talk from the perspective of a young man in his late twenties.

[Msukc]

I am married and have hooked up in China and hongkong when I travel. I have to admit as soon as learn I am going to Shanghai or HKG, I think about the pussy. I actually don't feel bad morally even though my wife would just leave me if she found out. Rather, I have worried about disease. I always wrap it up though and always will.

I am 40 now. I paid for play when I was single too. Really didn't and doesn't matter to me. But I have a couple thousand mile rule. I need to be in another country. And I never exchange personal info.

Strange is strange to me and I like it. But I know it could destroy a marriage. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. I keep my risks real low and never do this stuff in the USA.

[Bango Cheito]

I started mongering 11 years ago when I was still married to my first wife. I was married to her for 7 years and for the first half of the marriage I was faithful, the second half I cheated every chance I got. Both situations were highly unsatisfactory for me. When I was monogamous I was going crazy (my wife was NO help at all either). And when I was fooling around I couldn't look at my own face in the mirror.

With the exception of fucking around couple times with a lesbian couple who were friends of mine, I didn't have any sex at that time aside from my wife (at that point I had to think of other women just to get it up with her) and p4p, although some of the pros fucked me for free a few times on the side and we went out as friends. But I never got emotionally involved with anybody. I at that time also saw such a thing as a potential threat to the marriage and I was convinced that I was still going to make the relationship work.

In 2004 I had had enough and split up with my wife, the mother of my kids. I met a girl on a webcam chat site in 2004 and we fell in love. I went to Bogota in January 2005 to visit her and consummate the relationship. We ended up together for 5 years, splitting up in mid 2009. That was definitely the most serious relationship of my life. We had an open relationship the whole time, and lived the swinger lifestyle to the hilt. But as the Billy Joel song goes we "started to fight when the money got tight and just didn't count on the tears". She eventually got into the business full time (she's been on this board as a provider in three countries) and now has completely disappeared off the face of the earth. With her I still mongered but much less. We had actually quite infrequent sex but it was on purpose, to build up the anticipation, and had an amazing sex life. We experimented with some REALLY kinky stuff.

Since then I've been decidedly single for 2 years. I kinda split my energy between regular girls and pros. It's great that here in Bogota I can land the odd 18-23 year old stunner, but regular girls are just so much work, and I haven't found anybody worth any real commitment since then. I had a real torrid affair with a girl in Ibague for a couple months but it ended explosively, and now we are just fuckbuddies.

Part of the problem is that I've grown spoiled and accustomed to being actually able to tell the truth and live openly with my 2nd wife (the open marriage one here in Colombia) and don't want to go back to lying to somebody I actually care about. Which is unfortunately a relationship killer, especially here in Latin America where hypocrisy is an integral part of how people exist here. If I get into another serious relationship I don't at this point intend for it to be a monogamous one. I've learned that people not only like lying so they can manipulate people, they also like being lied TO! :P

[Bango Cheito]

As for the jealousy issues, both of us learned a lot how to control our jealousy and channel it into something positive during the open relationship. It's really great. I can't see I'm completely free from jealousy but I have very few issues with it anymore. This is also sometimes a problem with women because they think you really don't care about them unless you get jealous.

The nuclear family, I stopped beliving in that years ago. I think marriage and most other societal institutions are total crap and we need to get back to nature and way from all that false crap bestowed upon us by rotten and putrid religions. I think it provides stability and structure at too high of a cost. I have two kids with my first wife (the NYC one) and I'm glad to say I'm nothing like the typical father, I REFUSE to instill typical behavior patterns in them, on the contrary I point out all the alternatives and make sure they have a chance to keep their minds open. I have a rapport and trust with my kids that I never had with my parents. They can tell me anything without fear of being judged.

[Hum Chale Tj]

We experimented with some REALLY kinky stuff.And what would that be?

[Whatsgoingon]

You could make a good episode of Oprah or some other similar daytime TV program with this thread.

So my story, got married in my twenties after I got my wife pregant by being careless. We've been married for 16 yrs. The kids are in mid teens now and apart from a one off in Thailand (15yrs ago) and a second blip in PHils (14yrs ago) I have remained faithful, untill a few years back.

We moved into a city in another country and for the first year everything was fine. But then I decided to visit a bar or two with known WGs and decided to try my first Chinese. She was great and it was exciting, my sex life at home was OK but not exciting at all. My wife had let her self go a bit and to be honest I don't find her sexually attractive.

I thought I could keep a lid on it all but the guilt started to get the better of me and I have withdrawn from my wife to the extent where we have had sex once in the last 6 mths and I have got my sex elsewhere, with now more than 20+ girls. I have questioned many things, if I ever loved my wife etc etc. If I had not made her pregnant I probably would not have married.

So mongering if you like has ruined my marriage, or at least exposed that it wasn't as strong as I may have thought.

Next step is probably separation from my wife which is very sad news but mongering has become an addiction, and I need fresh beautiful girls to massage my ego.

[OneGrey]

Personally I find the whole monogamous idea quite interesting. From a biological efficiency pov, it is clearly a bad way to do things tho it would certainly seem that it has done little to hinder our domination of the planet. I read quite a few theories on this and there is no sure fire answer. So this is my humble opinion.

I am azn, middle aged, never married. A few serious relationships lasting over 1-2 years but never crossed the line so to speak. Mongered in most continents and in plenty of countries and at this point, no sign of slowing down. Now I was never a physically attractive specimen. Neither tall, dark or handsome. All I have was a little gift of gab but plenty of hard working genes coming from my parents. Not surprisingly, high school and uni years was barren in terms of sexual experiences. Fast forward 20 years of 80 hour weeks and corporate ladder climbing and now I am a successful retired with plenty of investments and money with time but no dependants and no relationships. Sadly I am still not a physical adonis and despite hard work will never be able to make a women wet and trembling at the knees with my looks haha. (unless she was looking at my huge wallet.)

So what is a guy to do? He can settle for someone who is at his league or he can keep trying to punch above his weight. Or he can monger like me and forget about the whole prospect and accept things as they come along. I was never into kids and never really been much of a feelings person. Never felt the need to have to share my feelings etc. I got a cat for that. (note cats don't really care.)

As the result while I am still looking for a serious relationship, I am quite happy mongering with new ladies. From FKK clubs to regulars to brothel trawling and then privates. I got abit of a porn star buzz atm (hooray for cheaper porn stars in UK ). I seldom bother with non pros unless it is clear from the outset that it is just sex. I would only go for a non pro if I clearly wanted a longer term relationship but that has not been too successful either. The time invested and money hassles just does not do it for me. I won't judge anyone nor any working girl about the whole business. It just seems to me to be far more honest than many relationships I know of. I mean cmon the majority of the girl clients are married men.

I am sure the downside to all this is that I will likely die alone. But that is ok with me.

[Viajero]

Many mongers are married but nonetheless still tippy toe in the paid pussy market for strange ass. This of course brings its own unique challenges and consequences that merit a dedicated thread of discussion. I would like mongers who are married, divorced or single to post their views, experiences, and advice on this topic. The idea for this thread came about after reading posts from more than one married monger in a crisis in the past week. Hopefully, the information posted here will help married, or soon to be married, mongers headed for or already in a crisis.My only worry is not to give my wife herpes, but no guilt whatsoever fucking another girl.

[LittleTruths]

Part of the problem is that I've grown spoiled and accustomed to being actually able to tell the truth and live openly with my 2nd wife (the open marriage one here in Colombia) and don't want to go back to lying to somebody I actually care about. Which is unfortunately a relationship killer, especially here in Latin America where hypocrisy is an integral part of how people exist here. If I get into another serious relationship I don't at this point intend for it to be a monogamous one. I've learned that people not only like lying so they can manipulate people, they also like being lied TO! :PThis was interesting Bango, thanks for sharing. While I despise hypocrisy I have also kind of come to the conclusion that in the state of things we live in it may be something necessary. The hard truth might be more valuable than a sweet lie, but a sweet lie is undoubtedly easier to live with and as such has a more positive impact on your life. This is not easy to come to terms with for me because I'm a very proud person and so my attitude is pretty much "I'm good enough the way I am and don't need to lie about things in exchange for acceptance"; but I can't deny that in relationships this attitude brought me trough a lot of emotional pain because I have repeatedly found myself being lied to while I was being upfront. This makes for an unrewarding relationship, one in which the true one doesn't get as much as he is giving in return form his lying partner.
As a result, I am currently not keen on getting emotionally involved in relationships anymore and I'm not even 30 yet. Been around the world and trough lots of women from everywhere, I survived more stuff that I can remember both phisically and emotionally and by now I just feel like taking it easy if I plan as I do on keep on living some more.

"The only one suggestion that I feel like giving, and that I regularly give, to the youth is this; fight for what you believe in. You will lose, like I have lost, all battles. But only one you might win. The one engaged each morning in front of the mirror." . Indro Montanelli

[LittleTruths]

We moved into a city in another country and for the first year everything was fine. But then I decided to visit a bar or two with known WGs and decided to try my first Chinese. She was great and it was exciting, my sex life at home was OK but not exciting at all. My wife had let her self go a bit and to be honest I don't find her sexually attractive.

I thought I could keep a lid on it all but the guilt started to get the better of me and I have withdrawn from my wife to the extent where we have had sex once in the last 6 mths and I have got my sex elsewhere, with now more than 20+ girls. I have questioned many things, if I ever loved my wife etc etc. If I had not made her pregnant I probably would not have married.

So mongering if you like has ruined my marriage, or at least exposed that it wasn't as strong as I may have thought.

Next step is probably separation from my wife which is very sad news but mongering has become an addiction, and I need fresh beautiful girls to massage my ego. This is quite sad actually, thanks for sharing. So basically you're giving up on your family for the sake of pussy? If I may ask, the love and responsibilities you have for your kids isn't enough to hold you back and try to find a solution other than the disrupting of your own family?

[MadisonGuy]

What the hell is this topic for first of all. Who cares if you're married or single, what the hell is the difference. You are fullfilling a basic need. All this talk about mongering ruining your marriage is a bunch of bull, grow some balls. Do you feel guilt when you masterbate? I'm married and don't think twice about an occassional rub and tug or a sex spree in a different country. It means nothing, it's just sex. I can see maybe if you're trying to work a girl for free as a girlfriend and keeping your wife too, that could be stressful. Relax and enjoy life, unless you're mongering so much you can afford to live and it's like a crack addiction you're not hurting anyone.

[LittleTruths]

The nuclear family, I stopped beliving in that years ago. I think marriage and most other societal institutions are total crap and we need to get back to nature and way from all that false crap bestowed upon us by rotten and putrid religions. I think it provides stability and structure at too high of a cost. I have two kids with my first wife (the NYC one) and I'm glad to say I'm nothing like the typical father, I REFUSE to instill typical behavior patterns in them, on the contrary I point out all the alternatives and make sure they have a chance to keep their minds open. I have a rapport and trust with my kids that I never had with my parents. They can tell me anything without fear of being judged.What is it exactly that you hold against the nuclear family model? Nevermind religion, but what is it that you have against the idea of mommy, daddy, baby and a house? I have often been puzzled and amused at this notorious attitude of yours but never really got to understand it so I'm curious.

[Carlos Primeros]

Why should I marry again? Going again through an ordeal? Lying again to a wife?

I do not need that. When I want to monger. I monger. I have a GF and if she does not like my lifestyle. Fuck it! If you get married you "belong" to a woman. I will never be again subjected to that. If my GF is jealous, let her be.

Do not misunderstand me. I love my GF but everything has it' s limits and I have not intention to change my lifestyle anymore. I had enough. When you are married you rarely have a wife which accepts your mongering, you have to hide and lie about it. What purpose has that?

Also mongering has nothing to do with love. I think we all on this forum agree to that. It is like not going to the same restaurant all the time and not eating the same dish all the time. Some people have a routine in their life and they are happy, some people like diversity. Each to his own.

The life I have now is stress-free.

These are my two cents.

Keep mongering.

Carlos

[Chocha Monger]

Why should I marry again? Going again through an ordeal? Lying again to a wife?

I do not need that. When I want to monger. I monger. I have a GF and if she does not like my lifestyle. Fuck it! If you get married you "belong" to a woman. I will never be again subjected to that. If my GF is jealous, let her be.

Do not misunderstand me. I love my GF but everything has it' s limits and I have not intention to change my lifestyle anymore. I had enough. When you are married you rarely have a wife which accepts your mongering, you have to hide and lie about it. What purpose has that?

Also mongering has nothing to do with love. I think we all on this forum agree to that. It is like not going to the same restaurant all the time and not eating the same dish all the time. Some people have a routine in their life and they are happy, some people like diversity. Each to his own.

The life I have now is stress-free.

These are my two cents.

Keep mongering.

CarlosI agree it doesn't make much sense marrying with the intent to monger. It seems like a recipe for a lot of stress and the eventual pain in the pocket books that comes with divorce. Mongers would probably do better sticking with the hobby and avoiding marriage if they are not already in it. However, many guys do marry with the intent to continue mongering. They like the idea of playing house and getting a strange piece of ass on the run too.

[Chocha Monger]

What the hell is this topic for first of all. Who cares if you're married or single, what the hell is the difference. You are fullfilling a basic need. All this talk about mongering ruining your marriage is a bunch of bull, grow some balls. Do you feel guilt when you masterbate? I'm married and don't think twice about an occassional rub and tug or a sex spree in a different country. It means nothing, it's just sex. I can see maybe if you're trying to work a girl for free as a girlfriend and keeping your wife too, that could be stressful. Relax and enjoy life, unless you're mongering so much you can afford to live and it's like a crack addiction you're not hurting anyone.I disagree with this analogy. If pull on your cock it's a an action done to yourself in isolation, unless of course you're in the park exposing yourself to innocent by-standers. Excluding the exhibitionist scenario it's a personal and individual matter. If you're single and mongering it is also a personal affair but you can hurt others if you pass on sexually transmitted diseases but you have no contractual obligations. Mongering in a marriage is an entirely different kettle of fish that involves deception, fear of discovery, exposure of an unwitting partner to ho diseases and very real consequences if one is caught by a wife. If one has children old enough to understand that the family broke up because daddy is a monger it could cause them to see you in a different light. Societal backlash for single vs married mongers is also very different. One is seen as doing what may be expected of a single man and the other is seen as a very dishonest immoral individual.

[Chocha Monger]

You could make a good episode of Oprah or some other similar daytime TV program with this thread.

So my story, got married in my twenties after I got my wife pregant by being careless. We've been married for 16 yrs. The kids are in mid teens now and apart from a one off in Thailand (15yrs ago) and a second blip in PHils (14yrs ago) I have remained faithful, untill a few years back.

We moved into a city in another country and for the first year everything was fine. But then I decided to visit a bar or two with known WGs and decided to try my first Chinese. She was great and it was exciting, my sex life at home was OK but not exciting at all. My wife had let her self go a bit and to be honest I don't find her sexually attractive.

I thought I could keep a lid on it all but the guilt started to get the better of me and I have withdrawn from my wife to the extent where we have had sex once in the last 6 mths and I have got my sex elsewhere, with now more than 20+ girls. I have questioned many things, if I ever loved my wife etc etc. If I had not made her pregnant I probably would not have married.

So mongering if you like has ruined my marriage, or at least exposed that it wasn't as strong as I may have thought.

Next step is probably separation from my wife which is very sad news but mongering has become an addiction, and I need fresh beautiful girls to massage my ego. I don't think that mongering destroyed your marriage. It merely brought the fact that it was a farce to begin with to the surface. You never loved your wife. You married her because you knocked her up and felt obligated to take care of her and the child. It is not unusual for those sort of marriages to come apart at the seams. I also sense that you may have been henpecked to the point that your ego was in tatters hence your need to rebuild it with fresh sexual encounters.

[Chocha Monger]

I've been married for 10 years and never once cheated on my wife once until the last six months. Since then I have gone crazy for pussy and have fucked more than a dozen girls. Some WGs and some non pros. I have recorded many of my exploits on the Malawi thread. I love my wife more than anything in the world, and totally concur with 'Dreams' but crave the buzz of the mongering experience. When I pick up a street girl my heart races and the sensation overwhelms me. It's better than any drug or alcohol. I love in-car action as well. Doing something so illicit and the chance of being caught excite me tremendously. When my wife is in town I am an angel but when she goes away on business I become the proverbial dog with two dicks!It sounds like you have a serious mongering addiction. Perhaps you should call a time out and consider where this drive comes from before you get the urge to take more risks in your mongering just to experience the thrill of being on the edge.

[MadisonGuy]

I disagree with this analogy. If pull on your cock it's a an action done to yourself in isolation, unless of course you're in the park exposing yourself to innocent by-standers. Excluding the exhibitionist scenario it's a personal and individual matter. If you're single and mongering it is also a personal affair but you can hurt others if you pass on sexually transmitted diseases but you have no contractual obligations. Mongering in a marriage is an entirely different kettle of fish that involves deception, fear of discovery, exposure of an unwitting partner to ho diseases and very real consequences if one is caught by a wife. If one has children old enough to understand that the family broke up because daddy is a monger it could cause them to see you in a different light. Societal backlash for single vs married mongers is also very different. One is seen as doing what may be expected of a single man and the other is seen as a very dishonest immoral individual.Last time I checked mongering was a fairly secretive thing. Not with me, but with most people who are married they don't run around saying I'm screwing other women. I think mongering will save more marriages than end them if people learn to embrace it and not view it as if they're doing something immoral. If marriage had no benefits I would say it's pointless, but it does have benefits it is just not practical to have a sexual appetite fulfilled by one person for the rest of your life. The chances of picking up an STD while wearing protection are nil, and if you're stupid enough to screw a working girl without protection you should seek help for being an idiot and stop worrying about passing on a disease. There are plenty of people that feel ashamed when they masterbate, it is wrong, but they still feel ashamed. Fulfilling a sexual appetite is instinctual, why hold back on your instinct? Mongering is a marriage saver, not a destroyer. I'm very unhappily married and if I didn't monger I would not be able to make it this far. Fortunately I'm young and know I've got about 15 years before I need to worry about having kids with "the one".

[Whatsgoingon]

I don't think that mongering destroyed your marriage. It merely brought the fact that it was a farce to begin with to the surface. You never loved your wife. .Yes, I realised this after many many years and have been doing the stay together for the kids thing.

[Whatsgoingon]

this is quite sad actually, thanks for sharing. so basically you're giving up on your family for the sake of pussy? if i may ask, the love and responsibilities you have for your kids isn't enough to hold you back and try to find a solution other than the disrupting of your own family?yes and i have been doing so for some time, but it comes down to when do i live my life at some point. i got married to someone i never would have married if she wasnt pregnant for the sake of the children and invested 16 yrs in this. i can do another few until the kids go to college but at some point we will break up because i discovered there was never anything there. and trust me i've been to enough therapists to know this now

[Bango Cheito]

What is it exactly that you hold against the nuclear family model? Nevermind religion, but what is it that you have against the idea of mommy, daddy, baby and a house? I have often been puzzled and amused at this notorious attitude of yours but never really got to understand it so I'm curious.It's not natural. The nuclear family came about as a way of ordering society when we switched from Paleo and Neolithic social structures to the tributary societies in effect up until today. But our sexuality is still inherently what it was before.

Fact is, monogamy has not worked for us, because we have never given it more than lip service. Mommy and daddy have been fucking around since the beginning of time, and will contiune to do so. 98% of human sperm is designed not to impregnate human females, but rather to BLOCK and KILL other sperm. I think that says enough about human nature right there!

[LittleTruths]

yes and i have been doing so for some time, but it comes down to when do i live my life at some point. i got married to someone i never would have married if she wasnt pregnant for the sake of the children and invested 16 yrs in this. i can do another few until the kids go to college but at some point we will break up because i discovered there was never anything there. and trust me i've been to enough therapists to know this nowwell, i surely wish you good luck with whatever it is that's waiting for you in the future.

[LittleTruths]

It's not natural. The nuclear family came about as a way of ordering society when we switched from Paleo and Neolithic social structures to the tributary societies in effect up until today. But our sexuality is still inherently what it was before.

Fact is, monogamy has not worked for us, because we have never given it more than lip service. Mommy and daddy have been fucking around since the beginning of time, and will contiune to do so. 98% of human sperm is designed not to impregnate human females, but rather to BLOCK and KILL other sperm. I think that says enough about human nature right there! No doubt about the fucking around but I still think a nuclear family provides the best environment for the upbringing of the kids.

[Bango Cheito]

no doubt about the fucking around but i still think a nuclear family provides the best environment for the upbringing of the kids.i don't think so. i think we grow up fucked up because of it. i think society needs to find good alternatives. that's really beyond the scope of this board.

somebody asked what i did with my ex? basically everything and anything. the only things we never touched were zoophilia, rep001 and necrophilia :p

[Hum Chale Tj]

somebody asked what i did with my ex? basically everything and anything. the only things we never touched were zoophilia, rep001 and necrophilia :pyes, i asked you that. you are a lucky man. you are a lucky man!

[Hotman 666]

somebody asked what i did with my ex? basically everything and anything. the only things we never touched were zoophilia, rep001 and necrophilia :pit's good to try different things.

i have tried sadism, bestiality and necrophilia but was not so successful!

with hindsight i think that perhaps i was 'flogging a dead horse! '

enjoy,

hotman.

[Bareback Jack]

Yes, I realised this after many many years and have been doing the stay together for the kids thing.I have never seen the benefit of doing the 'stay together for the kids' thing. If you are unhappy in marriage the kids do pick up on it and they develop lots of hang ups because of this.

Meanwhile I fail to see the use of marriage completely. Fact is and I hope that's not too cynical, men want to distribute their sperm to as many women as possible and women on the other hand always want to trade up. That doesn't exactly make for life long relationships.

As fascinating as it is to impregnate a woman I've always felt that they lost interest in sex after childbirth. Not very attractive IMHO.

It's nice to stay with someone for as long as possible provided both get out of it what they want. If it gets stale people should just do themselves a favour and move on. Life is too short to not enjoy every day and hold grudges.

[Chocha Monger]

I have never seen the benefit of doing the 'stay together for the kids' thing. If you are unhappy in marriage the kids do pick up on it and they develop lots of hang ups because of this.

Meanwhile I fail to see the use of marriage completely. Fact is and I hope that's not too cynical, men want to distribute their sperm to as many women as possible and women on the other hand always want to trade up. That doesn't exactly make for life long relationships.

As fascinating as it is to impregnate a woman I've always felt that they lost interest in sex after childbirth. Not very attractive IMHO.

It's nice to stay with someone for as long as possible provided both get out of it what they want. If it gets stale people should just do themselves a favour and move on. Life is too short to not enjoy every day and hold grudges. Men want to spread their seed as widely as possible and women constantly want to trade up to men of ever increasing wealth. That is where mongering comes in to solve the problem. In a place like the Philippines there is no shortage of young women willing to get knocked up by a foreigner and it is not uncommon to find visitors and expats who have fathered children with dozens of different women. With cheap airfares and minimal entry requirements even a man of modest means can sire literally scores of children throughout the Third World. So, if a man has a lust for procreation marriage in a Western industrialized nation can hardly compete with the Shadow Billionaire option. With the increasing economic flattening of the world his offspring will not necessarily be at a disadvantage in a decade or two. Western marriage is a business contract fraught with fear, deception, greed, hypocrisy, disillusion and ultimately acrimony and regret.

[MadisonGuy]

I have never seen the benefit of doing the 'stay together for the kids' thing. If you are unhappy in marriage the kids do pick up on it and they develop lots of hang ups because of this.

Meanwhile I fail to see the use of marriage completely. Fact is and I hope that's not too cynical, men want to distribute their sperm to as many women as possible and women on the other hand always want to trade up. That doesn't exactly make for life long relationships.

As fascinating as it is to impregnate a woman I've always felt that they lost interest in sex after childbirth. Not very attractive IMHO.

It's nice to stay with someone for as long as possible provided both get out of it what they want. If it gets stale people should just do themselves a favour and move on. Life is too short to not enjoy every day and hold grudges. I see a benefit, divorce hurts kids. They feel that somehow it was their fault. It also teaches kids that it's ok. Marriage is a binding legal agreement, so you're basically telling your kids screw whatever partnerships you get into and don't live by your word. I think it's very noble to wait till the kids are 16-18 to get a divorce. Certainly if you're mongering there should be no reason to end it early.

[Member #2041]

I see a benefit, divorce hurts kids. They feel that somehow it was their fault. It also teaches kids that it's ok. Marriage is a binding legal agreement, so you're basically telling your kids screw whatever partnerships you get into and don't live by your word. I think it's very noble to wait till the kids are 16-18 to get a divorce. Certainly if you're mongering there should be no reason to end it early.It depends upon whether or not you actually still enjoy the company of your S. O, or if you can't stand the sight of her. As a wise man once said, the reason divorce is so expensive is because it's worth it. If the two of you despise each other, there is no reason to remain in a toxic situation together. Cut your losses and get out. On the other hand, it's very possible that, even if a marriage has gotten stale and sexless, you might actually still get along reasonably well with your S. O. To me, that's the scenario where staying together but mongering is a win-win for all involved. But you should probably be honest in communicating about it to each other.

[ThatGuy865]

While screwing a lot of women is a natural instinct. What sets humans apart from animals is our reasoning and logic.

Its this reasoning and logic that devised marriage, knowing that just fathering children and leaving them and the woman to survive on their own (with no financial support) as many men would like to do. Would lead to a 3rd world society globally.

Especially when women have less opportunities, get paid less, and have less upward mobility in 90% of the world.

Yes and its easy to find girls in 3rd world counties like the PI who are willing to have babies with a foreigner only because of desperation and lack of education. So to do so. Is only exploiting the ignorant and less fortunate. But then who cares. Right? . As long as you get pussy? . Right.

Can anyone with common sense really believe. Society as a whole would be better if men were able to just fuck women, get them pregnant, and be able to leave them whenever without responsibility. And to be able to do this with as many women as possible. And some one really believes the world would be a better place and these kids would grow up better off.

Yeah for the guy who's only care is himself, and how much pussy he can score. That MIGHT be true. But for society as a whole. Its would be a disaster.

All statistic show a nuclear family is best for raising kids. There is no way. Having the father out of the picture can be better or just as good as having one present.

Can a kid be raised successfully without a father sure.

But which one produces the most successful well rounded kids. A nuclear family. By far.

[Dreams]

Last time I checked mongering was a fairly secretive thing. Not with me, but with most people who are married they don't run around saying I'm screwing other women. I think mongering will save more marriages than end them if people learn to embrace it and not view it as if they're doing something immoral. If marriage had no benefits I would say it's pointless, but it does have benefits it is just not practical to have a sexual appetite fulfilled by one person for the rest of your life. The chances of picking up an STD while wearing protection are nil, and if you're stupid enough to screw a working girl without protection you should seek help for being an idiot and stop worrying about passing on a disease. There are plenty of people that feel ashamed when they masterbate, it is wrong, but they still feel ashamed. Fulfilling a sexual appetite is instinctual, why hold back on your instinct? Mongering is a marriage saver, not a destroyer. I'm very unhappily married and if I didn't monger I would not be able to make it this far. Fortunately I'm young and know I've got about 15 years before I need to worry about having kids with "the one".I have to agree with most of this, and this is coming from an "experienced" person.

You can perfectly get the best of both worlds, that is a good loving family life and enjoy sex as well. There are no reasons why those two objectives should exclude each other.

I am happy getting both, see my earlier post on the topic.

The point is to know where your priorities are, and make sure that you respect them. For instance, if you had a nice trip to an FKK planned for 2 days next week, but your wife breaks her leg, you cancel the trip.

There is another element that youger guys need to think about, altough it is difficult to project oneself some 20-30 years ahead, but let me try (and this is not patronising, just sharing my own experienvce) :

One day you will be older. You will not be able to fuck like a rabbit many times a day. But your urge for sex will still be there. So, you will run for it, but once you have satisfaied it, you will find yourslef a bit tired and empty. How many hours to wait for the next shag? How often? And what to do on Christmas day, when all friends have gone to their family, and even WGs have gone home? And last, when you wake up, one morning, at 65 or more, with an excruciating pain in your back, who will come and help you?

Ok, I can see already many guys loughing at this somehow tearish story. But, think about it anyway.

As one previous poster says, he may well die anone. But before that he may sick and alone for a long timne in his old days. I for once, do not regret all the constraints that married life has imposed on me. I enjoy the benefits today, and this, without having to compromise with my stiil high sexual urge.

[Dreams]

While screwing a lot of women is a natural instinct. What sets humans apart from animals is our reasoning and logic.

Its this reasoning and logic that devised marriage, knowing that just fathering children and leaving them and the woman to survive on their own (with no financial support) as many men would like to do. Would lead to a 3rd world society globally.

Especially when women have less opportunities, get paid less, and have less upward mobility in 90% of the world.

Yes and its easy to find girls in 3rd world counties like the PI who are willing to have babies with a foreigner only because of desperation and lack of education. So to do so. Is only exploiting the ignorant and less fortunate. But then who cares. Right? . As long as you get pussy? . Right.

Can anyone with common sense really believe. Society as a whole would be better if men were able to just fuck women, get them pregnant, and be able to leave them whenever without responsibility. And to be able to do this with as many women as possible. And some one really believes the world would be a better place and these kids would grow up better off.

Yeah for the guy who's only care is himself, and how much pussy he can score. That MIGHT be true. But for society as a whole. Its would be a disaster.

All statistic show a nuclear family is best for raising kids. There is no way. Having the father out of the picture can be better or just as good as having one present.

Can a kid be raised successfully without a father sure.

But which one produces the most successful well rounded kids. A nuclear family. By far. Absolutely.

What I can't understand in many previous posts, is the belief that one can't get on one side a proper family nucleus, definitively better for the kids, and a satisfying sexual life. Prostitution has been available since beginning of humanity to provide just this.

So why are so many guys, even on this forum, think that it is "bad" for a married man to monger? It is no more bad that going out to a good restaurant if you think your wife's cooking is not good enough.

Just be simple, love your wife and kids, get your balls emptied when needed, and that's it.

[Chocha Monger]

I have to agree with most of this, and this is coming from an "experienced" person.

You can perfectly get the best of both worlds, that is a good loving family life and enjoy sex as well. There are no reasons why those two objectives should exclude each other.

I am happy getting both, see my earlier post on the topic.

The point is to know where your priorities are, and make sure that you respect them. For instance, if you had a nice trip to an FKK planned for 2 days next week, but your wife breaks her leg, you cancel the trip.

There is another element that youger guys need to think about, altough it is difficult to project oneself some 20-30 years ahead, but let me try (and this is not patronising, just sharing my own experienvce) :

One day you will be older. You will not be able to fuck like a rabbit many times a day. But your urge for sex will still be there. So, you will run for it, but once you have satisfaied it, you will find yourslef a bit tired and empty. How many hours to wait for the next shag? How often? And what to do on Christmas day, when all friends have gone to their family, and even WGs have gone home? And last, when you wake up, one morning, at 65 or more, with an excruciating pain in your back, who will come and help you?

Ok, I can see already many guys loughing at this somehow tearish story. But, think about it anyway.

As one previous poster says, he may well die anone. But before that he may sick and alone for a long timne in his old days. I for once, do not regret all the constraints that married life has imposed on me. I enjoy the benefits today, and this, without having to compromise with my stiil high sexual urge. What happens if you get hit with a divorce accompanied by crippling alimony and child support? Divorce can wipe out as much as 75% of a man's wealth. That would be a disaster to a man in his mid 40's and beyond. There is no guarantee a wife and children will be around in a man's old age. There are a lot of old sad abandoned men who gave their all for a spiteful wife and ungrateful children. An American man would stand more of a chance that his foreign hooker would come to his aid when he can't get out of bed after a night of hard shagging than any of his selfish children doing so.

[LittleTruths]

Absolutely.

What I can't understand in many previous posts, is the belief that one can't get on one side a proper family nucleus, definitively better for the kids, and a satisfying sexual life. Prostitution has been available since beginning of humanity to provide just this.

So why are so many guys, even on this forum, think that it is "bad" for a married man to monger? It is no more bad that going out to a good restaurant if you think your wife's cooking is not good enough.

Just be simple, love your wife and kids, get your balls emptied when needed, and that's it. I have to agree with this and with what ThatGuy said in the last post. I know for a fact that the nuclear family model is the ideal for kids to be raised in; I know this from my own experience 'cause my father happened to be one of those guys that one day goes out to buy cigarettes and never comes back, so I, as the older of the kids, have had to put up with a lot of stuff that he could have spared me of if he had just stuck around. Also, my brother and sister grew up seeing in me the fatherly figure that was missing, and that is why I am so convinced of what I'm saying.

There are no better nor equal alternatives available to raise kids in this realm we live in, period.

However, considering the need most men (and women, too) have for getting some strange on the side to keep them happy; the natural conclusion seems to be that people should form nuclear families and put the necessary effort into it if raising kids is one's goal, but at the same time make such arrangements with the significant other so as to keep everybody's needs catered for and people satisfied (and in turn being happier and better persons, within the family as well).

This seems to have been worked out magically by some people (forum members, too) and they seem to live a fairly decent and satisfying existence. Playing it fair and friendly tho might not be everybody's cup of tea as not all women are going to be up for that, and in that case then a man's last resource would have to be to do it behind her back or by "unspoken rules", whatever suits best one's situation.

Bless

[Bango Cheito]

I have to agree with this and with what ThatGuy said in the last post. I know for a fact that the nuclear family model is the ideal for kids to be raised in; I know this from my own experience 'cause my father happened to be one of those guys that one day goes out to buy cigarettes and never comes back, so I, as the older of the kids, have had to put up with a lot of stuff that he could have spared me of if he had just stuck around. Also, my brother and sister grew up seeing in me the fatherly figure that was missing, and that is why I am so convinced of what I'm saying.

There are no better nor equal alternatives available to raise kids in this realm we live in, period.

However, considering the need most men (and women, too) have for getting some strange on the side to keep them happy; the natural conclusion seems to be that people should form nuclear families and put the necessary effort into it if raising kids is one's goal, but at the same time make such arrangements with the significant other so as to keep everybody's needs catered for and people satisfied (and in turn being happier and better persons, within the family as well).

This seems to have been worked out magically by some people (forum members, too) and they seem to live a fairly decent and satisfying existence. Playing it fair and friendly tho might not be everybody's cup of tea as not all women are going to be up for that, and in that case then a man's last resource would have to be to do it behind her back or by "unspoken rules", whatever suits best one's situation.

BlessI dunno about that, unspoken rules and the like. I don't like deceiving people, at the least, people who are supposedly the closest to you and the ones you can trust most.

Also, who's to say mommy one day won't go out for cigarettes and never come back?

I'd love to see ANY hard evidence that the nuclear family really is our best alternative. The "domestic violence" statistics in ANY country, even the most peaceful, are nothing short of ALARMING. It's statistically more dangerous for a woman to be a wife than a prostitute.

Ironically in the case of my first wife, her sex drive didn't diminish at all after the first child, but her imagination completely died. She wanted sex every day, but the same kind of sex, in every way. I got so sick and tired of the mish position I didn't do it for a couple years after breaking it off with her!

I don't think society is working as it is. I think it's totally broken and needs to be restructured. Actually I think the relationship between a puta and her client is much more natural and open than the typical bf / gf or married relationship these days.

Back in the Paleo era, the whole "sex for food" thing developed as our heads grew larger in proportion to the rest of our bodies. This meant among other things, human babies had to be born less developed and had to develop more outside the womb, which in turn meant that they needed much more care in those first several months of life than before. This made it impossible for women to raise kids on their own without outside help. So the man would find food while the women took care of the baby (ies). But it wasn't just one man forever. It was whoever stopped on by.

I think as a society we first off need to cut off completely the filthy stinking rags of religion that fill our heads full of nonsense and garbage. Abortion infanticide homosexuality and prostitution are NATURAL, much more natural than monogamous relationships are. We need to stop brainwashing girls and instead get them in touch with their natural instincts. A mother naturally knows (if she is in tune with herself) if she should have a baby or terminate it. We need to get back to leaving decisions of that type to the mother, and not interfere with lies and false doctrine. That will right there put the birth rate exactly at replacement rate, or maybe slightly below, considering how badly we have managed to overcrowd our planet!

Then I think at that point once a mother has chosen to have and raise a child, society should support her full on with all the basic needs completely met for that child (NOT necessarily for the parent, but for the child, one assumes the mother was able to survive before getting pregnant :P). There have been examples of socieites (ancient Greece) where the state comes first and family ties are a distant second, and those societies were extremely successful, then there have been socieities with the same philosophy (Soviet Union) where it has been a disaster, we need to look at why one succeeded while the other failed.

[LittleTruths]

I dunno about that, unspoken rules and the like. I don't like deceiving people, at the least, people who are supposedly the closest to you and the ones you can trust most.And neither do I, brother. Never did, ever. Was just listing the options that I see, and some of those options have been chosen by fellow forum members participating to this thread, as well as by many other millions of human beings living right now among us.


Also, who's to say mommy one day won't go out for cigarettes and never come back?One can (and must) only take responsibilities for his / her own actions and nothing more. If you think about it that would already be a step forward, considering the sad state of things. If you play your game based only on what kind of game people around you plays, then you'll end up playing THEIR game. If you are happy with that, who am I to say no; but as far as myself is concerned I try and mediate what comes from within with what goes on around and see how it goes. We all play our game with the cards we are dealt and there is no escape from that, but it is with the cards we are dealt that we decide how we're going to play it.


I'd love to see ANY hard evidence that the nuclear family really is our best alternative. The "domestic violence" statistics in ANY country, even the most peaceful, are nothing short of ALARMING. It's statistically more dangerous for a woman to be a wife than a prostitute.I have no idea what kind of evidence would you consider hard enough to convince you that the nuclear family is the best option, and neither do I know where did you get that statistics about domestic violence from, but anyway it is not my place to deny that, nor to confirm it. As I said already, I do have my opinion about it and it comes from my own very personal and direct experience. I am not trying to convert anyone here obviously, just looking for constructive exchange. Also, I don't think it makes much sense to try and bring the nuclear family concept down by addressing the problem of disfunctional families. Domestic violence is a very sad and serious issue but a fairly complicated one as well and I'd rather not get into that.


I don't think society is working as it is. I think it's totally broken and needs to be restructured. Actually I think the relationship between a puta and her client is much more natural and open than the typical bf / gf or married relationship these days.In fact, it isn't working. Even the top-notch better-working societies (scandinavian) have alarming signals such as the highest suicide rates worldwide. It surely makes one think!

The relationship between a puta and her client is ideally a very simple straightforward one and there isn't much that can go wrong as long as you keep it short and simple.


I think as a society we first off need to cut off completely the filthy stinking rags of religion that fill our heads full of nonsense and garbage.Fuck religions. The only meagre excuse religions ever had for their existence was that they provided an illusion to the masses; the illusion that once our eyes shut close for the last time, another life will be waiting for us, a life where all of this existence's bitterness will be counterpoised with sweetness, where darkness will be light, where all tears will be smiles, where all the people we have loved and lost will be there waiting for us and where everything will have been forgiven. This might be indeed the reason that gave to some people the spiritual strenght necessary in order to endure existence itself; but alas it counts for nothing but small change compared to all the misery that the various dynamics related to religions have brought along with them all around the world.

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.". Steven Weinberg.


Abortion infanticide homosexuality and prostitution are NATURAL, much more natural than monoThen I think at that point once a mother has chosen to have and raise a child, society should support her full on with all the basic needs completely met for that child (NOT necessarily for the parent, but for the child, one assumes the mother was able to survive before getting pregnant :P). There have been examples of socieites (ancient Greece) where the state comes first and family ties are a distant second, and those societies were extremely successful, then there have been socieities with the same philosophy (Soviet Union) where it has been a disaster, we need to look at why one succeeded while the other failed.Large-scale solutions may be ideally the best thing to aim for, I agree on that. To the average guy tho, such thinking large is absolutely out of reach, and one tends to aim to AT LEAST try and build up a small soap bubble inside of which there can be all those good things that one values, one tends to think that if you can't change the world at least you can try and create your own small world in which you can be happy, in which at least you hope they won't bother you with their inanities and fuck-ups, a safe haven to go back to when out at sea it's storm. It isn't much to ask, is it? Nope. It's ideally within the reach of every man. Don't we all do that Bango? Didn't you try and do that when you moved to Colombia? Wasn't it a step in THAT direction for you? All we want is a little bit of happiness once in a while, for fuck's sake.

Bless

[Dreams]

What happens if you get hit with a divorce accompanied by crippling alimony and child support? Divorce can wipe out as much as 75% of a man's wealth. That would be a disaster to a man in his mid 40's and beyond. There is no guarantee a wife and children will be around in a man's old age. There are a lot of old sad abandoned men who gave their all for a spiteful wife and ungrateful children. An American man would stand more of a chance that his foreign hooker would come to his aid when he can't get out of bed after a night of hard shagging than any of his selfish children doing so.Yes, and in addition, you can be hit by an earthquake, live near a nuclear reactor etc. Just to say that the worst may not always happen, but it can.

Anyway, I can only feel sorry for you if this is how you see society. I believe, (I repeat this is a belief, not a scientific fact) that there are more children who care for their parents, provided they themselves cared for them, than the opposite. So, quite often, the "american man" you refer to has probably not been that good with his children if they behave so selfishly. I guess you must have been on the wrong side of things, and this is probably why you are so negative and pessimistic.

But, finally, I agree, there is no guarantee whatsoever that what you give to people, (wife, children, friends. Hookers) , will be given back to you. But, and again this my belief, there are more chances that it happens if you yourself gave something than not.

I have seen in BKK relatively old white men hanging on with their local GF. I have seen some of them having breakfast, next to the swimming pool of a ISG famous place in BKK. I don't want to be in any way offensive, but the word which comes to mind is "pathetic": the woman looking tired and bored, the guy typing on his laptop, not a word, or a smile exchanged. Of course, this is a generalisation, I know myself some guys who are happy with their Thai GF, but those guys. Are in a relationship, married or not.

Anyway, to each his own, and I wish everyone on this forum and elsewhere to be happy wiht his own choice of life.

[Bareback Jack]

Absolutely.

What I can't understand in many previous posts, is the belief that one can't get on one side a proper family nucleus, definitively better for the kids, and a satisfying sexual life. Prostitution has been available since beginning of humanity to provide just this.

So why are so many guys, even on this forum, think that it is "bad" for a married man to monger? It is no more bad that going out to a good restaurant if you think your wife's cooking is not good enough.

Just be simple, love your wife and kids, get your balls emptied when needed, and that's it. I don't think it's bad to monger if you are married. I just think being day in day out in an unhappy marriage creates unnecessary stress, is a waste of time and eats into valuable mongering time.

Also I do believe that you can be a fine father and take your responsibilities seriously without being married. Imagine how much time you can spend making your children happy if you don't have to have daily arguments with your partner. I have two children from 2 different women and both are perfectly happy and cared for. I'm not married to either of the mothers. I don't regret anything. I'm grateful everyday for my children but I'm just as grateful that I don't have to see the mothers on a daily basis.

Marriage is a religious concept that is being upheld by modern countries. Christian religion does not condone adultery and in some societies like the British it is still a reason to legally dissolve a marriage. Mongering is nothing but serial adultery. So why holding up marriage when you are literally screwing the concept on a daily basis. Total hypocrisy IMHO.

Also, if you are mongering tell your wife so she knows that it is ok and she can do the same. What kind of respect and love is it to go behind someone's back? Is that not the epitome of hypocrisy? Being married and mongering has a name. It's called an open relationship in which both partners agree on rules, especially regarding health and safety

[ThatGuy865]

it wasn't just one man forever. It was whoever stopped on by.I don't know where you got this crap. It was no "whoever stopped by" crap. It was the strongest chose his woman. And if you touched her. He'd put a brick up side your head.

That's not to say there were not women to have orgies and to pass around.

But men did take woman. That were for ONLY them to touch and would KILL anyone who dared.

Quite a few deaths throughout history (since the beginning of time) are attributed to jealousy over a women between two men.

Show me some documentation which states otherwise. Where human behavior as a society was totally without relationships.

[ThatGuy865]

Abortion infanticide homosexuality and prostitution are NATURAL, much more natural than monogamous relationships are. .Monogamous relationships have been around since beginning of time also. Marriage as we know it. Only made it a financial arrangement. Way way way in the past. It was most about a family and property. With women considered almost the same as property.

And just as most people don't let anyone else drive their car. Most men did let anyone play with their woman.

I said most, not all.

I don't think there would be anything. Anyone could show or tell you. That would change your mind. So it is what it is.

Marriage and monogamy is considered the norm. Has been for hundreds of years. Its not going to change in our life time. So deal with the here and now.

[Chocha Monger]

Yes, and in addition, you can be hit by an earthquake, live near a nuclear reactor etc. Just to say that the worst may not always happen, but it can.

Anyway, I can only feel sorry for you if this is how you see society. I believe, (I repeat this is a belief, not a scientific fact) that there are more children who care for their parents, provided they themselves cared for them, than the opposite. So, quite often, the "american man" you refer to has probably not been that good with his children if they behave so selfishly. I guess you must have been on the wrong side of things, and this is probably why you are so negative and pessimistic.

But, finally, I agree, there is no guarantee whatsoever that what you give to people, (wife, children, friends. Hookers) , will be given back to you. But, and again this my belief, there are more chances that it happens if you yourself gave something than not.

I have seen in BKK relatively old white men hanging on with their local GF. I have seen some of them having breakfast, next to the swimming pool of a ISG famous place in BKK. I don't want to be in any way offensive, but the word which comes to mind is "pathetic": the woman looking tired and bored, the guy typing on his laptop, not a word, or a smile exchanged. Of course, this is a generalisation, I know myself some guys who are happy with their Thai GF, but those guys. Are in a relationship, married or not.

Anyway, to each his own, and I wish everyone on this forum and elsewhere to be happy wiht his own choice of life. Save your pity. I enjoy my life. I love being free and not having to deceive a wife and children about who I really am or what I do. I am too young to have experienced ungrateful children but I know a lot of elderly gentlemen who have given, and still give, a significant portion of their life earnings to children. A lot of these guys call me when they need help instead of their children or grandchildren. I know one whose son married a real bee who turned him against his father. She had him arrested on domestic violence charges. His elderly father bailed him out and begged him to get a divorce. The guy went back to his bee of a wife and now he no longer speaks to his father under orders from his wife. In another case a granddaughter with a live-in boyfriend stopped talking to her 75 yrs old grandfather because he refused to co-sign on a car loan for her deadbeat boyfriend. He had previously co-signed on a loan for her to get a car for herself. Maybe you should talk to some old men and see what they think. You might be amazed at how many who say if they had to do it over again they would never have married.

Yes, earthquakes and nuclear meltdowns occur. The question I ask myself is what are the odds? The odds of it happening to me are about the same as being mauled by a grizzly bear and polar bear on the same day. I'll take those odds over marriage any day when the odds are as follows:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%

The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%

The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

With few exceptions marriage with children in the US is a form of legal financial slavery women exercise over men. It's more of a liability than a benefit. Those old white men at Giotto's with their young Thai girlfriends probably went through a few divorces before ending up in Thailand. Frankly, I prefer to save my money for a policy on long term care than spend it on a woman and her offspring in the hopes that they will do the right thing when I can no longer work to support them. Women come and go. Children grow up, move away and start their own lives. Maybe I am a pessimist because human nature has shown me it is unwise to put yourself at the mercy of another person as they will almost always take advantage.

[Dreams]

Save your pity. I enjoy my life. I love being free and not having to deceive a wife and children about who I really am or what I do. I am too young to have experienced ungrateful children but I know a lot of elderly gentlemen who have given, and still give, a significant portion of their life earnings to children. A lot of these guys call me when they need help instead of their children or grandchildren. I know one whose son married a real bee who turned him against his father. She had him arrested on domestic violence charges. His elderly father bailed him out and begged him to get a divorce. The guy went back to his bee of a wife and now he no longer speaks to his father under orders from his wife. In another case a granddaughter with a live-in boyfriend stopped talking to her 75 yrs old grandfather because he refused to co-sign on a car loan for her deadbeat boyfriend. He had previously co-signed on a loan for her to get a car for herself. Maybe you should talk to some old men and see what they think. You might be amazed at how many who say if they had to do it over again they would never have married.

Yes, earthquakes and nuclear meltdowns occur. The question I ask myself is what are the odds? The odds of it happening to me are about the same as being mauled by a grizzly bear and polar bear on the same day. I'll take those odds over marriage any day when the odds are as follows:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%

The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%

The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

With few exceptions marriage with children in the US is a form of legal financial slavery women exercise over men. It's more of a liability than a benefit. Those old white men at Giotto's with their young Thai girlfriends probably went through a few divorces before ending up in Thailand. Frankly, I prefer to save my money for a policy on long term care than spend it on a woman and her offspring in the hopes that they will do the right thing when I can no longer work to support them. Women come and go. Children grow up, move away and start their own lives. Maybe I am a pessimist because human nature has shown me it is unwise to put yourself at the mercy of another person as they will almost always take advantage. This tirade confirms my previous post.

Happy that you are happy.

In fact you are only talking about the first part of the title of this thread: "married". I don't think many of us are interested in talking about the pros and cons of marriage in ISG. This thread is about mongereing, while married. And my only pont is that it is perfectly possible to be married happily and monger. Period.

I am happy with my wife, kids, grand kids and. And if I was American (I am not) , I would be in the majority, since according to your statistics, almost 60 % of marriages stay.

And I monger happily when I feel the need, which means that I am leading a normal happy family life 95% of my time, and enjoy hookers the rest of the time.

[Chocha Monger]

This tirade confirms my previous post.

Happy that you are happy.

In fact you are only talking about the first part of the title of this thread: "married". I don't think many of us are interested in talking about the pros and cons of marriage in ISG. This thread is about mongereing, while married. And my only pont is that it is perfectly possible to be married happily and monger. Period.

I am happy with my wife, kids, grand kids and. And if I was American (I am not) , I would be in the majority, since according to your statistics, almost 60 % of marriages stay.

And I monger happily when I feel the need, which means that I am leading a normal happy family life 95% of my time, and enjoy hookers the rest of the time. I'm not buying that. Obviously you're not content in your marriage since you're mongering. There is something you're not getting in your marriage that you have to get from hookers. A normal happy family guy would not feeding on street meat 5% of their time.

[Bango Cheito]

Monogamous relationships have been around since beginning of time also. Marriage as we know it. Only made it a financial arrangement. Way way way in the past. It was most about a family and property. With women considered almost the same as property.

And just as most people don't let anyone else drive their car. Most men did let anyone play with their woman.

I said most, not all.

I don't think there would be anything. Anyone could show or tell you. That would change your mind. So it is what it is.

Marriage and monogamy is considered the norm. Has been for hundreds of years. Its not going to change in our life time. So deal with the here and now. First, this has been addressed in the "Morality" thread. Read the book "Sperm Wars". If 98% of sperm is designed specifically to block and kill other sperm that can only mean one thing. That the vast majority of human beings are conceived with the sperm of one man COMPETING inside the women. THAT is our REAL nature. Not the false nature of marriage and monogamy.

The concept of marriage did in fact come about with the concept of property, but both came about relatively late in our history as a species. We were kicking around for millions and millions of years before both. And we are still the same creatures inside, despite what society tries to impose on us.

The other thing is, just look around. The very fact that this thread exists is good evidence that the whole concept of marriage is flawed and broken, because otherwise why would any of us be or have been at any time "Married and Mongering"? Not to mention... young people around the world are just no longer getting married anymore... so things ARE changing right before our eyes...

That's part of the problem. Men have WANTED to keep women's sexuality bottled up, and have gone to very extreme measures to do it, both individually and collectively. It hasn't been very successful. Women on average have way greater emotional intelligence than men and are really good at fooling around.

Throughout "civilized' history a good solid 30% of children have wound up being raised by men who were NOT the father.

[Dreams]

I'm not buying that. Obviously you're not content in your marriage since you're mongering. There is something you're not getting in your marriage that you have to get from hookers. A normal happy family guy would not feeding on street meat 5% of their time.I will argue that I am better placed than you to know whether I am happy within my marriage or notread my initial post, and I explained in why initial post why.

You are right though, there is one thing that my 60+ years old wife does not provide me anymore with: good sex. And I get it as you say so elegantly from "street meat". I leave to you the responsibility of this nice quote.

Some of my friends, also happily married, do not get other things from their wives: good cooking for instance. So they buy it from outside as well.

Anyway, end of this absurd dicussion.

I just gave my own experience, without trying to teach anyone any lesson.

Leaving this thread now. Bye.

[ThatGuy865]

First, this has been addressed in the "Morality" thread. Read the book "Sperm Wars". If 98% of sperm is designed specifically to block and kill other sperm that can only mean one thing. That the vast majority of human beings are conceived with the sperm of one man COMPETING inside the women. THAT is our REAL nature. Not the false nature of marriage and monogamy.The way sperm acts does not dictate the way civilized humans act. By that logic. Since 98% are KILLER sperm. Then. The majority of men should have the nature to be KILLERS.

Those 98, YES. Are blockers. But that 1 monogamous sperm is the one that gets passed. And passes on the monogamy trait.

No one looks at a micro organism in a petri dish to determine how human "society" will work.


Marriage yes. But you stated. Fuck and leave. That means "NO COMMITMENT" period.

I'm saying in all of recorded human kind. There have been records of couple "COMMITED" relationships. Men may have strayed. But they still had that ONE MAIN woman. They did not share. And would KILL any one who dare try to fuck her.

[QUOTE=Bango Cheito;1143637]The other thing is, just look around. The very fact that this thread exists is good evidence that the whole concept of marriage is flawed and broken, because otherwise why would any of us be or have been at any time "Married and Mongering"? Not to mention... young people around the world are just no longer getting married anymore... so things ARE changing right before our eyes...Thats a silly argument. Thats like saying. There are drop outs from college. Therefore college does not work.

I bet I can find a website for Celibate members with as large a membership. Does that mean those website's way of thinking is right. They have large memberships. Maybe larger.

Would you advocate Celibate if their website had a larger membership. After all wouldn't that mean. Its was the way to go.


That's part of the problem. Men have WANTED to keep women's sexuality bottled up, and have gone to very extreme measures to do it, both individually and collectively. It hasn't been very successful. Women on average have way greater emotional intelligence than men and are really good at fooling around.This contradicts your whole argument. First you say it in mans nature to wander. Now you say its in his nature to want to keep his woman bottled up. That means he wants HER committed. HIS ONLY. Hence the word relationship. DUH.


Throughout "civilized' history a good solid 30% of children have wound up being raised by men who were NOT the father.If you are saying. Unknowingly raising a child impregnated by another man. Show where you get that number. It happens. But show where you get 30%. I think you make up numbers you like to believe and state as fact.

Maybe we are wired (nature speaking) to be monogamous for the life span of a child. Which in nature would be about 12 to 13 years. When they reached puberty. Then move on to the next. And repeat.

What they call serial monogamy. From one monogamous relationship to the next. Thats why humans are wired to be jealous. I.

Animals who mate and run. Do not exhibit jealous tendencies.

[Bango Cheito]

The way sperm acts does not dictate the way civilized humans act. By that logic. Since 98% are KILLER sperm. Then. The majority of men should have the nature to be KILLERS.

Those 98, YES. Are blockers. But that 1 monogamous sperm is the one that gets passed. And passes on the monogamy trait.

No one looks at a micro organism in a petri dish to determine how human "society" will work.

Marriage yes. But you stated. Fuck and leave. That means "NO COMMITMENT" period.

I'm saying in all of recorded human kind. There have been records of couple "COMMITED" relationships. Men may have strayed. But they still had that ONE MAIN woman. They did not share. And would KILL any one who dare try to fuck her.

Thats a silly argument. Thats like saying. There are drop outs from college. Therefore college does not work.

I bet I can find a website for Celibate members with as large a membership. Does that mean those website's way of thinking is right. They have large memberships. Maybe larger.

Would you advocate Celibate if their website had a larger membership. After all wouldn't that mean. Its was the way to go.

This contradicts your whole argument. First you say it in mans nature to wander. Now you say its in his nature to want to keep his woman bottled up. That means he wants HER committed. HIS ONLY. Hence the word relationship. DUH.

If you are saying. Unknowingly raising a child impregnated by another man. Show where you get that number. It happens. But show where you get 30. I think you make up numbers you like to believe and state as fact.

Maybe we are wired (nature speaking) to be monogamous for the life span of a child. Which in nature would be about 12 to 13 years. When they reached puberty. Then move on to the next. And repeat.

What they call serial monogamy. From one monogamous relationship to the next. Thats why humans are wired to be jealous. I.

Animals who mate and run. Do not exhibit jealous tendencies. There have been plenty of human societies which successfully practiced non-monogamy in various forms. The Inuit, many of the ancient Greeks, the Tainos, the Tahitians, tons of indigenous African cultures as well as those of this hemisphere.

You look at microorganisms in a petri dish not to see how human society works, but rather to see how human NATURE works and WHY HUMAN SOCIETY DOES NOT! Which is my whole point.

The methodology behind the 30% is in the book "Sperm Wars" I'll try to find a torrent link for it.

I don't think modern universities work either. I don't think much in modern society works, I think it's a total disaster. It tends to produce a lot of ugly ignorant incapable people. And I don't think you're really suggesting that there are as many celibate people as there are working girls and mongers in the world.

[NickGold]

My Italian grandfather said to me when I was 18:

"the wife guarantees the family and the home"

"the mistress guarantees the love, tenderness and affection"

"the girls guarantee the fun and variety and adventure"

Words of wisdom!

[ThatGuy865]

you look at microorganisms in a petri dish not to see how human society works, but rather to see how human nature works and why human society does not! which is my whole point.too ridiculous to even take serious

if that was the case. when a women got artificially inseminated. she could ask for what human nature sperm she wanted.


the methodology behind the 30% is in the book "sperm wars" i'll try to find a torrent link for it.

i don't think modern universities work either. i don't think much in modern society works, i think it's a total disaster. it tends to produce a lot of ugly ignorant incapable people. and i don't think you're really suggesting that there are as many celibate people as there are working girls and mongers in the world. again you base your whole argument on one looney tune biologist. not a scientist. who's book was written not on scientific facts. but his own theory. if you google sperm wars debunked. you'll see plenty of write up stating just that. even wikipedia states it this way

sperm wars: infidelity, sexual conflict and other bedroom battles is a primarily nonfiction book by evolutionary biologist robin baker. [2][3] through a series of short stories and discussion following them, baker proposes evolutionary purposes of sexual habits, mostly on the principle of competition between sperm of different men for a prized egg. [2] the "sperm wars" include both literal battles between sperm inside a woman's reproductive tract, as well as figurative battles between men competing for the chance to mate. the book is controversial, both because of its explanations of homosexuality, [CodeWord123] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123), and prostitution, and because several of the hypotheses in the book are not supported by scientific research.

you are the one saying modern universities are shit but. you'd base your whole argument on one person's hypotheses. just one. only one.

that's it for me. . this baby is cooked. tg. out of here. peace out.

[Chocha Monger]

I have found many of the posts from married mongers to be quite informative. I think many who haven't married as yet can learn a great deal from it. The main take away from the discussion seems to be that marriage doesn't take care of all of a man's needs. Either the wife isn't putting out, she has grown fat, aged, turned into a shrew or all four. So far it seems that there are no happily married mongers. Married men monger out of discontent. I would have to say that this is almost intuitive. A married monger also pointed out that age does not eliminate the need to feed on supple young flesh, hence the need for street meats. It is also clear that married mongers face risk of financial loss and other consequences due to their proclivities. They, in essence, lead a secret life. You could almost say that mongering while married is like being in the closet. It would appear that staying single is the optimal choice if one wishes to continue in the hobby. Each individual married monger must weigh the risk of financial ruin and being deemed a social pariah against the joy of busting a nut in some warm moist flesh.

[Ezinho]

It would appear that staying single is the optimal choice if one wishes to continue in the hobby. Each individual married monger must weigh the risk of financial ruin and being deemed a social pariah against the joy of busting a nut in some warm moist flesh.Yeah, but here's the problem I'm noticing now that I'm back in the States after a few years abroad working and mongering in Asia; it's awkward to be a single guy as you get older in the USA. I'm 30-ish and I just can't relate to any of my married / divorced coworkers. While they're talking about their wife nagging them to buy a new Lexus, or how little Timmy threw up in their bed last night, I'm thinking about the 19 year old I barebacked last year in the Philippines! I just can't relate to them and because of that I'm finding it's hard to "climb the ladder" so to speak. In the end I'll probably just wind up as a single, long term sexpat in Asia or Latin America, so it doesn't really matter to me in the long run, but it's something to think about for single guys who want to succeed in the rat race in the USA; a wife may be a necessity depending on your career goals.

Perhaps a sham marriage is the best way to go? Marry some dyke to help your career, reduce your tax burden, and then monger as you see fit. Hell, maybe the "wife" will even want to monger with you!

[Chocha Monger]

Many companies do treat their single employees unfairly by using marital status as a factor in granting raises and promotions. However, not all companies do this and some of the more progressive ones recognize the flexibility and mobility that single employees have over married ones. I would change employers faster than getting into a sham marriage to win a raise or promotion. I have a lot of buddies in the late twenties to early thirties age range and none of them feel left out when coworkers whine about getting henpecked to their wits end by wives, or being keep away all night by the wailing of a sick brat. I think it really comes down to a certain personality type. Some guys can be perpetual bachelors and are absolutely mortified at the thought of dying alone. I find this last bit quite amusing. I don't see too many people dying together and when they do it's hardly pleasant or romantic even.

I realize that a true female companion who wouldn't nag, act controlling, irrational or drive one to financial ruin would be a blessing rather than a curse. However, such women are very rare. You'the be lucky to find one every 30 yrs. If you are lucky to find one then keep her, if not you're better off on your own. A single man has more options than one who is married to a vengeful hag with young kids.

[Dash]

Maybe this is going to be all so repetitive for the guys but here is my baloney on the subject of marriage and men chasing "strange", paid or not. These are the facts as I understand them.

Men like pussy, and pay for it somehow. The highest price is of course marriage, which sometimes is 1/2 a guy's net worth.

Women choose men for marriage based on how appropriate he is to provide for her and have kids with her. If he is broke, they may still choose him because he's agreed to have kids and kill himself trying to provide for them.

Women choose men for sex the same way men do, based on attractiveness and youth. Most married women would fuck Brad Pitt regardless of whether he even spoke to her again in her life.

Women as they age become unattractive so their "Brad Pitt" opportunities become fewer and fewer. Women don't really mind however, they can go for long periods of time without a dick, they can masturbate or not, often they lose interest in sex entirely.

Anthropologists using blood tests in primitive cultures found that it's typical for a wife of a high status man to cheat on him with a guy whom she found attractive.

This means, every woman who marries a guy for his money is going to cheat on him sometime or divorce him to clean him out if possible.

A guy who has a wife will become bored with her probably within 7 years, the sex will usually not satisfy him, nor probably his wife. Assume a marriage will be fun about this length of time at the longest. Then, one must probably either get permission or secretly hunt for strange new pussy.

The guy on the hunt for new pussy has to limit his cost and potential for damage to his reputation or wallet.

Rich dudes may be able to maintain a mistress, I. E. A younger hot girl who is supposed to be his new love and sex partner. Of course, she will not be faithful to him, it's absurd to assume it.

My married friend who is a professonal in Mexico has found that his luck is very good with widows and divorcees. He still would love to find young hookers but his family expenses limit his budget for these adventures.

The guy who still has a good sex life with his wife after many years is probably a lucky exception.

My financial plan is now to be careful not blowing money impressing girls today and have enough for chasing girls when I am still able to swallow cialis or viagra.

[Hum Chale Tj]

There are men like Tiger Woods who had the hottest of wife but still cheated on her to no extent. To be honest I don't think he was an exception, most people who lust for sex, and that would include all people on this forum, would do the same things as he did (although the wiser maybe more discreet about it).

My point is, if you have a strong sex drive, then you would end up cheating given you have the money to do so. Is that fair? Now that's a difficult one to answer (if I were to do so then I will probably have loads of guilt about it).

[BoneDaddy]

Wow! I've been all over the ISG site for years and years and somehow have never discovered this thread. Dreams, Littletruths, whatsgoingon et al it's a pleasure to be in your company. So much honesty in one place is a little breathtaking. It's got a lot in common with the "Sexual Addiction" thread.

Like so many of you I've got my own little drama going on. I'm a 61 year old white man, married for 35 years and a mongerer for most of my adult life. Interspersed with my mongering have been long affairs, one 7 years and the most recent 4 years. From this behavior you'd conclude that I simply have no respect or love for my wife at all but you'd be wrong. I love her sincerely and respect her deeply and her happiness means everything to me.

Recently my entire life with her has been challenged in a way it never has been before. The affair of 4 years that I just mentioned began as all my encounters do: a flirtation (I'd known her for 30 years) , an invitation to my house for dinner while my wife was away, a night in bed followed by 3 weeks of great fun. Sex, talk, beach (I live on a small Caribbean Island) etc. She's a local woman, a black woman, very smart with a good job and we clicked. When my wife returned from NYC we had to stop carrying on this way but wanted to continue so it became a once or twice a week thing at her house. Her kids are married and living in the States so that part was easy. It worked for her and it worked for me. She had someone in her life to be intimate with, as I did, and we really enjoyed being around each other. About 2 years in she had a fling (with my complicity) with another man, a one-nighter and it just rocked me. I was stunned, shocked and pained at what I felt. At this point something I didn't want to look at became very evident. I was in love with her, I wanted her and didn't know what to do. To make it even more dramatic she wanted me this way too. As the months passed and the intensity we felt for each other increased this arrangement of once or twice a week no longer was working for her. We had to hide our calls, hide our e-mails, never be seen together so as not to alert acquaintances (it's a very small place) and generally always watch our step. We could never be open and go to dinner or movies although we did so discreetly. The duplicity was a real problem for both of us. We wanted to be an open, seen couple and couldn't because I was married and she was always very respectful of this. Never once during our time together did she try to pull me away from my wife. She always allowed me to get to my decisions on my own and her ethics about this were stellar. With each other we were completely honest. My mongering died away during our time together. With her I found that sex was fantastic, the best of my life, and I wanted it from no one else. We went to places sexually that neither of us had ever been and we're not kids. We'd be in bed lost in each other for hours and the intimacy was something I'd never experienced. It was deep and complete. I felt (still feel) that she was the most beautiful woman on Earth. This was really a first for me. I stopped mongering completely and it was as easy as breathing. We were totally honest with each other and we both were monogamous.

But. I'd always told her that I didn't think I could leave my wife and she was OK with that for a long time but as we deepened and wanted to be a couple it got very unworkable for her. It was causing her. And me. A lot of mental anguish and she told me that she couldn't do it anymore. Love someone so much and not have them completely. Our life was furtive phone calls and e-mails and it sucked. Then the inevitable happened. One Sunday morning I went off to play tennis discreetly with my lover (10-10-10) and when we finished there was a voicemail from my wife on my phone."You left your e-mail open on the computer (the screen had gone to sleep as my lover and I talked on the phone)" she said."I've read all your love letters to her. You need to come home. Now". Well, men. Words can not do justice to what I felt after listening to that. Fear, terror, pain (both mine and hers) , relief, divorce (?). Just a flood of feelings. For several hours we had a talk and I told her I'd end it with my lover (to my surprise then, but not now, she was giving me a chance to stay) and I drove to my lover's house and had "the next talk" with her. It was a hard, hard day. So painful and dark.

So, the beginning of the end, right? Not that easy. We'd not speak or e-mail for 3 weeks and then one of us just couldn't stand it anymore and the communication would start up again. This cycle was repeated 3 times and in between we actually found ourselves in bed together a few times crying about the situation and how we didn't want it to happen but unless I grew some balls and stepped away from my marriage we would have to part. This week the glacier may have stopped moving. My lover and I both have to face the very real fact that we can not continue this way, she as the "other" woman and me as a cheat. It denigrates her and me too. 2 days ago we had a good cry together, a great conversation and I left the love of my life's house maybe for the last time.

In the end I couldn't leave my wife, with whom there is little or no sex anymore, who looks every bit the 60 year old woman that she is for my vibrant, slightly younger, beautiful, black, Caribbean lover because 35 years means something. I'm simply not programmed to be that callous and disrespectful to a woman who has been my partner, confidant, muse and a thousand other things since 1975. Yes, the sex is gone and the relationship has changed but I simply couldn't, even for the love of my life, kick her to the curb. Sometimes I felt like I spent a lifetime dragging myself out of my New England upbringing to re-plant myself in another culture just to find my lover and when I did I couldn't have my lover of so many lifetimes because, well, my wife's heart matters. I'm crying as I write this.

So when I go through this thread and read all your stories it is a great respect and compassion that I feel for us. Dreams, you write and state your experience in life beautifully and Littletruths, I read somewhere in your posts that your only in your late 20s? God, you write with so much expression, thoughtfulness and perception. You're a pleasure to read. And whatsgoingon, please tread very carefully.

"I thought I could keep a lid on it all but the guilt started to get the better of me and I have withdrawn from my wife to the extent where we have had sex once in the last 6 mths and I have got my sex elsewhere, with now more than 20+ girls. I have questioned many things, if I ever loved my wife etc etc. If I had not made her pregnant I probably would not have married.

So mongering if you like has ruined my marriage, or at least exposed that it wasn't as strong as I may have thought.

Next step is probably separation from my wife which is very sad news but mongering has become an addiction, and I need fresh beautiful girls to massage my ego".

I won't try to give you any advice because you've not asked for any and, even if I did, it'd be worth exactly what you paid for it. Just move slowly and apply the Hippocratic oath as doctors do."First, do no harm".

Thanks to all who post here. You'd made some very worthwhile reading.

[Dreams]

Wow! I've been all over the ISG site for years and years and somehow have never discovered this thread. Dreams, Littletruths, whatsgoingon et al it's a pleasure to be in your company. So much honesty in one place is a little breathtaking. It's got a lot in common with the "Sexual Addiction" thread.

Like so many of you I've got my own little drama going on. I'm a 61 year old white man, married for 35 years and a mongerer for most of my adult life. Interspersed with my mongering have been long affairs, one 7 years and the most recent 4 years. From this behavior you'd conclude that I simply have no respect or love for my wife at all but you'd be wrong. I love her sincerely and respect her deeply and her happiness means everything to me.

Recently my entire life with her has been challenged in a way it never has been before. The affair of 4 years that I just mentioned began as all my encounters do: a flirtation (I'd known her for 30 years) , an invitation to my house for dinner while my wife was away, a night in bed followed by 3 weeks of great fun. Sex, talk, beach (I live on a small Caribbean Island) etc. She's a local woman, a black woman, very smart with a good job and we clicked. When my wife returned from NYC we had to stop carrying on this way but wanted to continue so it became a once or twice a week thing at her house. Her kids are married and living in the States so that part was easy. It worked for her and it worked for me. She had someone in her life to be intimate with, as I did, and we really enjoyed being around each other. About 2 years in she had a fling (with my complicity) with another man, a one-nighter and it just rocked me. I was stunned, shocked and pained at what I felt. At this point something I didn't want to look at became very evident. I was in love with her, I wanted her and didn't know what to do. To make it even more dramatic she wanted me this way too. As the months passed and the intensity we felt for each other increased this arrangement of once or twice a week no longer was working for her. We had to hide our calls, hide our e-mails, never be seen together so as not to alert acquaintances (it's a very small place) and generally always watch our step. We could never be open and go to dinner or movies although we did so discreetly. The duplicity was a real problem for both of us. We wanted to be an open, seen couple and couldn't because I was married and she was always very respectful of this. Never once during our time together did she try to pull me away from my wife. She always allowed me to get to my decisions on my own and her ethics about this were stellar. With each other we were completely honest. My mongering died away during our time together. With her I found that sex was fantastic, the best of my life, and I wanted it from no one else. We went to places sexually that neither of us had ever been and we're not kids. We'd be in bed lost in each other for hours and the intimacy was something I'd never experienced. It was deep and complete. I felt (still feel) that she was the most beautiful woman on Earth. This was really a first for me. I stopped mongering completely and it was as easy as breathing. We were totally honest with each other and we both were monogamous.

But. I'd always told her that I didn't think I could leave my wife and she was OK with that for a long time but as we deepened and wanted to be a couple it got very unworkable for her. It was causing her. And me. A lot of mental anguish and she told me that she couldn't do it anymore. Love someone so much and not have them completely. Our life was furtive phone calls and e-mails and it sucked. Then the inevitable happened. One Sunday morning I went off to play tennis discreetly with my lover (10-10-10) and when we finished there was a voicemail from my wife on my phone."You left your e-mail open on the computer (the screen had gone to sleep as my lover and I talked on the phone)" she said."I've read all your love letters to her. You need to come home. Now". Well, men. Words can not do justice to what I felt after listening to that. Fear, terror, pain (both mine and hers) , relief, divorce (?). Just a flood of feelings. For several hours we had a talk and I told her I'd end it with my lover (to my surprise then, but not now, she was giving me a chance to stay) and I drove to my lover's house and had "the next talk" with her. It was a hard, hard day. So painful and dark.

So, the beginning of the end, right? Not that easy. We'd not speak or e-mail for 3 weeks and then one of us just couldn't stand it anymore and the communication would start up again. This cycle was repeated 3 times and in between we actually found ourselves in bed together a few times crying about the situation and how we didn't want it to happen but unless I grew some balls and stepped away from my marriage we would have to part. This week the glacier may have stopped moving. My lover and I both have to face the very real fact that we can not continue this way, she as the "other" woman and me as a cheat. It denigrates her and me too. 2 days ago we had a good cry together, a great conversation and I left the love of my life's house maybe for the last time.

In the end I couldn't leave my wife, with whom there is little or no sex anymore, who looks every bit the 60 year old woman that she is for my vibrant, slightly younger, beautiful, black, Caribbean lover because 35 years means something. I'm simply not programmed to be that callous and disrespectful to a woman who has been my partner, confidant, muse and a thousand other things since 1975. Yes, the sex is gone and the relationship has changed but I simply couldn't, even for the love of my life, kick her to the curb. Sometimes I felt like I spent a lifetime dragging myself out of my New England upbringing to re-plant myself in another culture just to find my lover and when I did I couldn't have my lover of so many lifetimes because, well, my wife's heart matters. I'm crying as I write this.

So when I go through this thread and read all your stories it is a great respect and compassion that I feel for us. Dreams, you write and state your experience in life beautifully and Littletruths, I read somewhere in your posts that your only in your late 20s? God, you write with so much expression, thoughtfulness and perception. You're a pleasure to read. And whatsgoingon, please tread very carefully.

"I thought I could keep a lid on it all but the guilt started to get the better of me and I have withdrawn from my wife to the extent where we have had sex once in the last 6 mths and I have got my sex elsewhere, with now more than 20+ girls. I have questioned many things, if I ever loved my wife etc etc. If I had not made her pregnant I probably would not have married.

So mongering if you like has ruined my marriage, or at least exposed that it wasn't as strong as I may have thought.

Next step is probably separation from my wife which is very sad news but mongering has become an addiction, and I need fresh beautiful girls to massage my ego".

I won't try to give you any advice because you've not asked for any and, even if I did, it'd be worth exactly what you paid for it. Just move slowly and apply the Hippocratic oath as doctors do."First, do no harm".

Thanks to all who post here. You'd made some very worthwhile reading. Totally understand and share your feelings.

I sort of found myself in the same situation, when I was about 45 or so. I had always told myself NOT to start an affair, to avoid getting into the same situation that you describe. But life and human attraction being what it was, I got involved with a coworker. The good thing though was that she was also happily married and we had a deal that never would we harm our respective partners. The affair went on beautifully for a whle, , she was 10 years my junior, absolutely sex mad. And our numerous business trips made it very easy to consume our passion, However, whenever there was some talk about "why did we not meet before?" one of us would always reminded the other about the initial deal. And, after some time, I realised that it was time to stop when I found myself mongering again. It clearly showed that I was not made for monogamous, or even bigamous sex life, I only need variety, even in my mongering activities, (I do not go back very often to the same provider, even if she was outstanding). Our separation was helped by my changing job, which meant that our encounters became rarer, and the affair died its own natural death. Our respective partners, I guess, had some suspicion about what happened, but we are now, as couples, very good friends.

This is just another anecdoctal piece of life. I am happy to have lived it, and even more, happy that it ended the way it ended, that is with no drama for anyone. I guess I have been lucky.

Since then, I have always resisted getting involved emotionnally with any other woman.

Bless the Wgs, who provide me with such good sexual pleasure, most often without fuss, and even often with a smile. I will always respect then.

[Chocha Monger]

BoneDaddy,

That was quite a poignant story. Truly amazing, you've been married longer than some of us have been alive and mongering too. I just wonder if you could do it all over again would you have married or just kept it strictly mongering or long term relationships? You must have loved your wife to stick around for 35 years. Yet it is so sad to hear that after so many years you discovered that someone else on a tiny Caribbean island was your true love. It sounds like a Greek tragedy where the gods play cruel tricks on mortal men. It seems that so many men here fall in love and marry thinking that they finally found the woman that they will love forever only to have mongering test their faith and bring weaknesses in their marriage to the surface. It must be terrible to owe loyalty to a woman who has been at one's side for a lifetime during the peak of her sexuality and beauty then in the twilight of her years fall in love with another. The irony of a love consummated over 3 decades ago becoming the prison bars keeping two lovers apart in the present will not be lost on many young mongers.

[Dash]

This is an interesting dilemma. What would a guy do if he found the thing he most wanted in his life and left it because he did not want to hurt the other woman in his life?

This is tough because men have two motivations, and they are not always satisfied by one woman. His wife satisfies one need, the other woman a sexual one. Which need is more important to us? That depends on our mood and circumstance.

If I were to predict the future, the "other woman" will eventually tire of this arrangement.

If you asked for permission to see her from your wife, she may be hurt, angry, devastated and depressed. But, you have been honest with her. You can be truthful with her and yourself and the other woman.

After much time passed, your wife would still consider you a friend and still respect your honesty and think to herself "Men are all ruled by sex, he was no exception. Men are just crazy for pussy after all."

The problem is being 100% truthful to both women is going to put you in a difficult spot, while being untruthful to one or both may maintain domestic tranquility, and serve your purpose.

Since you don't want to hurt your wife, you are in a quandary.

Most guys would lie to both. To the wife: "I never see the other woman." to the other woman: "I don't have a real marriage any more, but divorce will wipe me out." etc.

Since I've never been married, my ideas may be all completely baloney and worthless.

I have one friend who never has been caught cheating but he is always out with other women and he tells them his marriage is dysfunctional. The other women accept it.

[Rick Rock]

My wife is fine mongering. But we are in an open relationship. I can't be the only one here in this scenario.

[Oh Ya Papi]

Its like vegas. If you have the balls to play the megabucks / lottery then you must have the balls to tell NO ONE! It will ruin your life.

Same as cheating / mongering.

Man up!


Wow! I've been all over the ISG site for years and years and somehow have never discovered this thread. Dreams, Littletruths, whatsgoingon et al it's a pleasure to be in your company. So much honesty in one place is a little breathtaking. It's got a lot in common with the "Sexual Addiction" thread.

Like so many of you I've got my own little drama going on. I'm a 61 year old white man, married for 35 years and a mongerer for most of my adult life. Interspersed with my mongering have been long affairs, one 7 years and the most recent 4 years. From this behavior you'd conclude that I simply have no respect or love for my wife at all but you'd be wrong. I love her sincerely and respect her deeply and her happiness means everything to me.

Recently my entire life with her has been challenged in a way it never has been before. The affair of 4 years that I just mentioned began as all my encounters do: a flirtation (I'd known her for 30 years) , an invitation to my house for dinner while my wife was away, a night in bed followed by 3 weeks of great fun. Sex, talk, beach (I live on a small Caribbean Island) etc. She's a local woman, a black woman, very smart with a good job and we clicked. When my wife returned from NYC we had to stop carrying on this way but wanted to continue so it became a once or twice a week thing at her house. Her kids are married and living in the States so that part was easy. It worked for her and it worked for me. She had someone in her life to be intimate with, as I did, and we really enjoyed being around each other. About 2 years in she had a fling (with my complicity) with another man, a one-nighter and it just rocked me. I was stunned, shocked and pained at what I felt. At this point something I didn't want to look at became very evident. I was in love with her, I wanted her and didn't know what to do. To make it even more dramatic she wanted me this way too. As the months passed and the intensity we felt for each other increased this arrangement of once or twice a week no longer was working for her. We had to hide our calls, hide our e-mails, never be seen together so as not to alert acquaintances (it's a very small place) and generally always watch our step. We could never be open and go to dinner or movies although we did so discreetly. The duplicity was a real problem for both of us. We wanted to be an open, seen couple and couldn't because I was married and she was always very respectful of this. Never once during our time together did she try to pull me away from my wife. She always allowed me to get to my decisions on my own and her ethics about this were stellar. With each other we were completely honest. My mongering died away during our time together. With her I found that sex was fantastic, the best of my life, and I wanted it from no one else. We went to places sexually that neither of us had ever been and we're not kids. We'd be in bed lost in each other for hours and the intimacy was something I'd never experienced. It was deep and complete. I felt (still feel) that she was the most beautiful woman on Earth. This was really a first for me. I stopped mongering completely and it was as easy as breathing. We were totally honest with each other and we both were monogamous.

But. I'd always told her that I didn't think I could leave my wife and she was OK with that for a long time but as we deepened and wanted to be a couple it got very unworkable for her. It was causing her. And me. A lot of mental anguish and she told me that she couldn't do it anymore. Love someone so much and not have them completely. Our life was furtive phone calls and e-mails and it sucked. Then the inevitable happened. One Sunday morning I went off to play tennis discreetly with my lover (10-10-10) and when we finished there was a voicemail from my wife on my phone."You left your e-mail open on the computer (the screen had gone to sleep as my lover and I talked on the phone)" she said."I've read all your love letters to her. You need to come home. Now". Well, men. Words can not do justice to what I felt after listening to that. Fear, terror, pain (both mine and hers) , relief, divorce (?). Just a flood of feelings. For several hours we had a talk and I told her I'd end it with my lover (to my surprise then, but not now, she was giving me a chance to stay) and I drove to my lover's house and had "the next talk" with her. It was a hard, hard day. So painful and dark.

So, the beginning of the end, right? Not that easy. We'd not speak or e-mail for 3 weeks and then one of us just couldn't stand it anymore and the communication would start up again. This cycle was repeated 3 times and in between we actually found ourselves in bed together a few times crying about the situation and how we didn't want it to happen but unless I grew some balls and stepped away from my marriage we would have to part. This week the glacier may have stopped moving. My lover and I both have to face the very real fact that we can not continue this way, she as the "other" woman and me as a cheat. It denigrates her and me too. 2 days ago we had a good cry together, a great conversation and I left the love of my life's house maybe for the last time.

In the end I couldn't leave my wife, with whom there is little or no sex anymore, who looks every bit the 60 year old woman that she is for my vibrant, slightly younger, beautiful, black, Caribbean lover because 35 years means something. I'm simply not programmed to be that callous and disrespectful to a woman who has been my partner, confidant, muse and a thousand other things since 1975. Yes, the sex is gone and the relationship has changed but I simply couldn't, even for the love of my life, kick her to the curb. Sometimes I felt like I spent a lifetime dragging myself out of my New England upbringing to re-plant myself in another culture just to find my lover and when I did I couldn't have my lover of so many lifetimes because, well, my wife's heart matters. I'm crying as I write this.

So when I go through this thread and read all your stories it is a great respect and compassion that I feel for us. Dreams, you write and state your experience in life beautifully and Littletruths, I read somewhere in your posts that your only in your late 20s? God, you write with so much expression, thoughtfulness and perception. You're a pleasure to read. And whatsgoingon, please tread very carefully.

"I thought I could keep a lid on it all but the guilt started to get the better of me and I have withdrawn from my wife to the extent where we have had sex once in the last 6 mths and I have got my sex elsewhere, with now more than 20+ girls. I have questioned many things, if I ever loved my wife etc etc. If I had not made her pregnant I probably would not have married.

So mongering if you like has ruined my marriage, or at least exposed that it wasn't as strong as I may have thought.

Next step is probably separation from my wife which is very sad news but mongering has become an addiction, and I need fresh beautiful girls to massage my ego".

I won't try to give you any advice because you've not asked for any and, even if I did, it'd be worth exactly what you paid for it. Just move slowly and apply the Hippocratic oath as doctors do."First, do no harm".

Thanks to all who post here. You'd made some very worthwhile reading.

[BoneDaddy]

The synchronicity of all the things happening in my life right now is amazing. My wife is in NYC right now and in times past I'd be taking full advantage of this by hitting all my haunts, all my hotspots and finding pussy everywhere, like a drunk on a bender. But tonight? I'm sitting here drinking tea and reading my book. I need to digest all that is happening and not throw more dust up by chasing pussy right now. My lover just left my house. She was at an event on my side of the island and I invited her over to share my tea. She was hesitant, in light of all that happened between us this past week, but she came. For my part I told her there'd be no pressure on her from me to stay the night. It was enough to have her come sit and be with me. It was lovely. She was dressed beautifully and looked radiant and I kept my promise. It was a sad joy to be with her, conjuring what might have been but what will not be. After she left I came to the computer and here you all are offering your thoughts on my situation so you are, in effect, my counselors about all this.

Chocha Monger, before I address your post I want to thank you for initiating this thread. It certainly gives me. And I suspect many others will follow. A place to drop our mongering personas for a while and talk about how this hobby affects our lives. It's powerful. We all become master jugglers as we sink into this lifestyle and it can be very confusing and dangerous so having this tool available is a great help. Thank you.

You asked if I would do it all over again. Well, the grass is always greener, isn't it? If you marry young you always look down that other road you're not traveling on and see that it's paved with pussy and it's a powerful draw. If you remain single and spend many years chasing pussy marriage can begin to look pretty good too because it offers stability, love and caring. All the things that marriage can bring. The thing about marriage is that it's not static and mongering is. If you monger and that's basically your life it's a single-minded pursuit. Nothing much is going to change as you age but in a marriage things do change. I married at 26 and it's driven by sex for quite a while. Sex begins to taper off after a while and that's where the mongering impulses kick in. You try to have it both ways and I did for a long time. Still do, in fact. But the marriage is changing imperceptibly as you age. At 60 your body. And your wife's body. Is different. She may not be as pretty but neither am I. But other things have replaced the "pretty". We have a history now and it goes back a long way. There is a certain joy in looking at old photos and seeing your in-laws at an age younger than you are now or how good you looked at 30. This stuff matters and it's not to be tossed away lightly for what is basically the selfish pursuit of mongering. And, to further confuse the dilemma about whether to leave your wife for another woman is that I know her as a caring decent person with a loving heart. I've spent 2/3rds of my life and almost all of my adult life waking up to this same soul. Should I throw it away for this other woman who means so much to me? I almost did. I may yet one day. No easy answers here, men. There is a "Greek Tragedy" element to this. It feels positively Shakespearean to me but all hard decisions in life are like this.

Back to pussy. The sex between me and my lover was truly breathtaking. We'd be lost for hours in bed and wanted that with each other forever. But age will take that too and when it does is there enough substance left to carry us through? I think there is but. What if there isn't? It would be a painful thing to realize down the road that with my few remaining years I need to contemplate the trashing of my wife's life, the shallowness of my new relationship and the absolute shit I'd been in life by doing what I did. Maybe I should have just led a life of pure mongering and left marriage to those more capable of dealing with all the vagaries of it. If I stay with my wife which now seems likely I'll probably find myself mongering again but probably not with the same dedication that I once pursued it. There's no denying there's a thrill in pushing a hot young chica's knees back to her ears and pounding her shaved pussy into the next town but honestly. And don't laugh here, men. Sometimes it's OK just to have a cup of tea instead.

And Dash, I'm tired of lying. If you're married and mongering as we all are here at some point, if you've got any brains at all, you realize that you can't build anything on lies. The sex is great. It's the duplicity that sucks. You were right about "the other woman tiring of this arrangement". That's what got me to this point.

That's it for tonight, guys. Thanks for reading. I welcome your comments.

[Bango Cheito]

My wife is fine mongering. But we are in an open relationship. I can't be the only one here in this scenario.There are different shades of open relationships though. I firmly believe that one should never deny a woman what she wants sexually, no matter WHAT the circumstances, but this is pretty hard to put into practice.

I also wouldn't see the point in a relationship where for example I was out partying it up at the local brother while my significant other was frustrated and reduced to masturbating at home wishing I were there. Even if you don't always tell your partner the whole truth, they would at least deserve PRIORITY, right?

Ideally in a relationship I'd like both, but after being separated for 2 years and stubbornly clinging to my ideals from the past (open) marriage, I'm tired of paying the price. I haven't exactly missed out on a lot of sex, but I HAVE missed out on being PRIORITY, because if you're completely honest with women, they don't see you as prority material, at best you get put in the "fuckbuddy" category.

I'm right now thinking about either courting a woman I know who I really like and once again entering into a traditional relationship with her (NO WAY she's coming into my world anytime soon, she's too innocent for that) , OR. Cultivating a romantic relationship with one of the WGs I've really hit it off with in the past 2 years. I have 2 or 3 good candidates for that.

Bob Marley said something real good. ANY relationship is going to hurt BOTH parties to some extent. You can't expect to avoid it, all you can do is hope it's worth it.

[LittleTruths]

Wow! I've been all over the ISG site for years and years and somehow have never discovered this thread. Dreams, Littletruths, whatsgoingon et al it's a pleasure to be in your company. So much honesty in one place is a little breathtaking. It's got a lot in common with the "Sexual Addiction" thread.

Like so many of you I've got my own little drama going on. I'm a 61 year old white man, married for 35 years and a mongerer for most of my adult life. Interspersed with my mongering have been long affairs, one 7 years and the most recent 4 years. From this behavior you'd conclude that I simply have no respect or love for my wife at all but you'd be wrong. I love her sincerely and respect her deeply and her happiness means everything to me.

Recently my entire life with her has been challenged in a way it never has been before. The affair of 4 years that I just mentioned began as all my encounters do: a flirtation (I'd known her for 30 years) , an invitation to my house for dinner while my wife was away, a night in bed followed by 3 weeks of great fun. Sex, talk, beach (I live on a small Caribbean Island) etc. She's a local woman, a black woman, very smart with a good job and we clicked. When my wife returned from NYC we had to stop carrying on this way but wanted to continue so it became a once or twice a week thing at her house. Her kids are married and living in the States so that part was easy. It worked for her and it worked for me. She had someone in her life to be intimate with, as I did, and we really enjoyed being around each other. About 2 years in she had a fling (with my complicity) with another man, a one-nighter and it just rocked me. I was stunned, shocked and pained at what I felt. At this point something I didn't want to look at became very evident. I was in love with her, I wanted her and didn't know what to do. To make it even more dramatic she wanted me this way too. As the months passed and the intensity we felt for each other increased this arrangement of once or twice a week no longer was working for her. We had to hide our calls, hide our e-mails, never be seen together so as not to alert acquaintances (it's a very small place) and generally always watch our step. We could never be open and go to dinner or movies although we did so discreetly. The duplicity was a real problem for both of us. We wanted to be an open, seen couple and couldn't because I was married and she was always very respectful of this. Never once during our time together did she try to pull me away from my wife. She always allowed me to get to my decisions on my own and her ethics about this were stellar. With each other we were completely honest. My mongering died away during our time together. With her I found that sex was fantastic, the best of my life, and I wanted it from no one else. We went to places sexually that neither of us had ever been and we're not kids. We'd be in bed lost in each other for hours and the intimacy was something I'd never experienced. It was deep and complete. I felt (still feel) that she was the most beautiful woman on Earth. This was really a first for me. I stopped mongering completely and it was as easy as breathing. We were totally honest with each other and we both were monogamous.

But. I'd always told her that I didn't think I could leave my wife and she was OK with that for a long time but as we deepened and wanted to be a couple it got very unworkable for her. It was causing her. And me. A lot of mental anguish and she told me that she couldn't do it anymore. Love someone so much and not have them completely. Our life was furtive phone calls and e-mails and it sucked. Then the inevitable happened. One Sunday morning I went off to play tennis discreetly with my lover (10-10-10) and when we finished there was a voicemail from my wife on my phone."You left your e-mail open on the computer (the screen had gone to sleep as my lover and I talked on the phone)" she said."I've read all your love letters to her. You need to come home. Now". Well, men. Words can not do justice to what I felt after listening to that. Fear, terror, pain (both mine and hers) , relief, divorce (?). Just a flood of feelings. For several hours we had a talk and I told her I'd end it with my lover (to my surprise then, but not now, she was giving me a chance to stay) and I drove to my lover's house and had "the next talk" with her. It was a hard, hard day. So painful and dark.

So, the beginning of the end, right? Not that easy. We'd not speak or e-mail for 3 weeks and then one of us just couldn't stand it anymore and the communication would start up again. This cycle was repeated 3 times and in between we actually found ourselves in bed together a few times crying about the situation and how we didn't want it to happen but unless I grew some balls and stepped away from my marriage we would have to part. This week the glacier may have stopped moving. My lover and I both have to face the very real fact that we can not continue this way, she as the "other" woman and me as a cheat. It denigrates her and me too. 2 days ago we had a good cry together, a great conversation and I left the love of my life's house maybe for the last time.

In the end I couldn't leave my wife, with whom there is little or no sex anymore, who looks every bit the 60 year old woman that she is for my vibrant, slightly younger, beautiful, black, Caribbean lover because 35 years means something. I'm simply not programmed to be that callous and disrespectful to a woman who has been my partner, confidant, muse and a thousand other things since 1975. Yes, the sex is gone and the relationship has changed but I simply couldn't, even for the love of my life, kick her to the curb. Sometimes I felt like I spent a lifetime dragging myself out of my New England upbringing to re-plant myself in another culture just to find my lover and when I did I couldn't have my lover of so many lifetimes because, well, my wife's heart matters. I'm crying as I write this.

So when I go through this thread and read all your stories it is a great respect and compassion that I feel for us. Dreams, you write and state your experience in life beautifully and Littletruths, I read somewhere in your posts that your only in your late 20s? God, you write with so much expression, thoughtfulness and perception. You're a pleasure to read. And whatsgoingon, please tread very carefully.

"I thought I could keep a lid on it all but the guilt started to get the better of me and I have withdrawn from my wife to the extent where we have had sex once in the last 6 mths and I have got my sex elsewhere, with now more than 20+ girls. I have questioned many things, if I ever loved my wife etc etc. If I had not made her pregnant I probably would not have married.

So mongering if you like has ruined my marriage, or at least exposed that it wasn't as strong as I may have thought.

Next step is probably separation from my wife which is very sad news but mongering has become an addiction, and I need fresh beautiful girls to massage my ego".

I won't try to give you any advice because you've not asked for any and, even if I did, it'd be worth exactly what you paid for it. Just move slowly and apply the Hippocratic oath as doctors do."First, do no harm".

Thanks to all who post here. You'd made some very worthwhile reading. WOW brother, that's something! I have to thank you for your deep contribution to this thread, it actually got me teary too and damn I'm just waking up and didn't even get out of bed yet. I wonder how am I going to get out there today and be my tough sharp self when you got me feeling like a teeny girl coming out of the movie house after watching Titanic for the first time, LOL. However, thank you again. I'm glad if I happened to write something that was worth reading for you, and sure you gave me back as much and more with your contribution. It's a pleasure having you around here. To answer your question; yep. 29 years old exactly. I'll read your story again tonight when all is said and done, can't go trough it again right now like I'd love to if I want to get anything done today LOL.

Bless

[LittleTruths]

Bob Marley said something real good. ANY relationship is going to hurt BOTH parties to some extent. You can't expect to avoid it, all you can do is hope it's worth it.Nice one this!

[Chocha Monger]

Chocha Monger, before I address your post I want to thank you for initiating this thread. It certainly gives me. And I suspect many others will follow. A place to drop our mongering personas for a while and talk about how this hobby affects our lives. It's powerful. We all become master jugglers as we sink into this lifestyle and it can be very confusing and dangerous so having this tool available is a great help. Thank you.You're most welcome BoneDaddy. No one mongers in a vacuum and this is especially true in the case of a married monger. Your description of the abject terror that gripped you when your wife called to inform you that she had read all your love letters to your mistress is one that many monger husbands will face if they stay in the game long enough. It also serves as food for thought to mongers who are considering marriage without quitting the hobby. I figured this thread would allow some mongers to exorcize their demons and put mongering in some context. The hobby is multi-dimensional in nature. There is more to it than hunting down ho's, beating up the pussy, and taking trophy pictures of the bagged game. Scoring fuck points is only a part of the mongering story. The story of the men behind the mongering can sometimes be more interesting than reading a report on where to find the cheapest lot lizards in Punta del Este.


You asked if I would do it all over again. Well, the grass is always greener, isn't it? If you marry young you always look down that other road you're not traveling on and see that it's paved with pussy and it's a powerful draw.Pussy is just like dope. It's like heroin. Once you hit a good batch you'll get the cravings. Before you know it you'll be doing all kinds of crazy things to get your next hit just to cool the cravings. These day's they've even got rehab for pussy addicts. If you're not careful kryptonite pussy will beat your ass like thugs. A hit of good pussy can flood your brain with dopamine leaving you as fucked up as any crack fiend in a back alley. So, it's not surprising that a married guy starts perspiring when he seeing some strange shaved young pussy and he can't wait to get his dick in. His blood pressure and heart rate goes off the chart and shit. That strange does things to him that familiar old house pussy stopped doing years ago. Men were made with wandering eyes. Better believe it! It's all about spreading that seed.


Maybe I should have just led a life of pure mongering and left marriage to those more capable of dealing with all the vagaries of it. If I stay with my wife which now seems likely I'll probably find myself mongering again but probably not with the same dedication that I once pursued it. There's no denying there's a thrill in pushing a hot young chica's knees back to her ears and pounding her shaved pussy into the next town but honestly. And don't laugh here, men. Sometimes it's OK just to have a cup of tea instead.Sometimes a moment of quite reflection is needed. I have found myself have a cup of tea or a nice meal in solitude with an ocean of pussy around me in some of the hottest mongering destinations. Recently the manager of a restaurant approached me to see if everything was alright. It was strange to see a young guy dining alone. Especially after the hot chicks he'the seen me with during the previous days. I explained to him that my companion was back in the room and I just needed some personal time. He understood and said we all needed that in a place where a man could fuck until he stroked out if he wasn't careful.

As for leaving marriage and it's pitfalls to those more inclined to take the good with the bad, it certainly makes life a lot simpler. It certainly is not a good deal anymore in the States unless one is poor and has nothing to lose.

[BoneDaddy]

this is great! i found this thread by accident, it was interesting so i thought i'd throw up a quick story, have no responses and i'd be on my way back to my other favorite threads but i've found myself surrounded by a bunch of articulate writers. way to go, guys!

if we hobby long enough we always get caught. not maybe. we will. something bizarre, guaranteed, will happen. during my checkered mongering career i've had a tree branch fall onto my car during a windstorm while i was getting a bj crushing the hood, been rousted by the police up a quiet dirt road and he pulled us both out of the car and searched it looking for crack (i said,"jesus, crack? the strongest drug i use is rum. he said,"shut the fuck up and get on the ground! (no sense of humor at all. jeesh!) , had a chain link fence locked behind me as i was up a dirt road with a wg and couldn't get out until they came back to work in the morning, been discovered by my wife at 3 am not 1 minute after i dropped a wg off because "she was worried when i didn't come home" and drove around looking for me etc. i can laugh at all these because they ended well with no serious repercussions other than having to do some fast talking. but then i left the computer open with all my love letters to my woman and i couldn't talk my way out of that. we think we're smart and aware, always thinking pre-emptively but you can't plan for the unforeseen. the tree branch, the cop, hey, shit happens! i know that many of you have had your own set of disasters happen and i am here to say that the longer you monger, the surer the guarantee of a train wreck.

it's addiction, right? addiction is understanding the game, knowing the risks and doing it anyway. it's just cold logic. as chocha monger said, pussy is heroin. actually it's heroin, crack, gambling, alcohol and high speed driving all rolled into one. it's thrilling, we love it and we absolutely will not give it up until we're dragged kicking and screaming by our wives and threatened with divorce. and even then we'll find a way to monger if we possibly can. ah, pussy! there's nothing quite like it! but, it seems we always get caught.

[Viajero]

What if you can't get it up any more, but still have the desire to monger!

[Chocha Monger]

this is great! i found this thread by accident, it was interesting so i thought i'd throw up a quick story, have no responses and i'd be on my way back to my other favorite threads but i've found myself surrounded by a bunch of articulate writers. way to go, guys!

if we hobby long enough we always get caught. not maybe. we will. something bizarre, guaranteed, will happen. during my checkered mongering career i've had a tree branch fall onto my car during a windstorm while i was getting a bj crushing the hood, been rousted by the police up a quiet dirt road and he pulled us both out of the car and searched it looking for crack (i said,"jesus, crack? the strongest drug i use is rum. he said,"shut the fuck up and get on the ground! (no sense of humor at all. jeesh!) , had a chain link fence locked behind me as i was up a dirt road with a wg and couldn't get out until they came back to work in the morning, been discovered by my wife at 3 am not 1 minute after i dropped a wg off because "she was worried when i didn't come home" and drove around looking for me etc. i can laugh at all these because they ended well with no serious repercussions other than having to do some fast talking. but then i left the computer open with all my love letters to my woman and i couldn't talk my way out of that. we think we're smart and aware, always thinking pre-emptively but you can't plan for the unforeseen. the tree branch, the cop, hey, shit happens! i know that many of you have had your own set of disasters happen and i am here to say that the longer you monger, the surer the guarantee of a train wreck.

it's addiction, right? addiction is understanding the game, knowing the risks and doing it anyway. it's just cold logic. as chocha monger said, pussy is heroin. actually it's heroin, crack, gambling, alcohol and high speed driving all rolled into one. it's thrilling, we love it and we absolutely will not give it up until we're dragged kicking and screaming by our wives and threatened with divorce. and even then we'll find a way to monger if we possibly can. ah, pussy! there's nothing quite like it! but, it seems we always get caught. the ancient greeks believed that zeus ordered hephaestus to fashion a beautiful evil out of earth whose descendants would torment the race of men. that beautiful evil was the first woman, pandora. pussy is the metaphorical 'pandora's box' that we hear so much about. man's troubles begin upon opening that box. after his first taste he is forever seeking it until his death. with that thought in mind i think one would do best to follow one path or the other when it comes mongering and marriage. mongering while trying to keep a wife in ignorance sounds like a harrowing experience not to mention extremely risky if the wife is provoked to divorce on those grounds. i inform girlfriends that i am not seeking monogamy before entering relationships to avoid any potential conflict. some accept this but i don't see them doing the same if i were to sign away my freedom and appoint them to the office of chief jailer. life is stressful enough without adding to the drama by entering a deadly cat and mouse game staying one step ahead of a potentially vindictive wife. do it long enough and the odds are it will catch up with you. technology has made it a lot easier to be caught even if one is extra careful. social networking, texting and ubiquitous digital cameras in cell phones have made discretion a lot harder.

[Chocha Monger]

Mongering is more appealing to pragmatists while marriage appeals to the romantics among us. According to author Tyler Cowen the key to a good marriage is delusion:

'If we spend enough time with a person, frustrations tend to build. Often we remember the slights and the unfairness more than the favors and kindness. Couples grow apart. Sixteen percent of married couples will admit to not having sex within the last month, and I believe the real number is higher. Over time it becomes harder to keep a positive image of our spouses, yet it is essential that we do so.

Marital bliss is based on, among other things, selective forgetfulness. The couples who stay together are the delusional ones who look back on their pasts with rose-colored glasses. A good marriage requires know when to forget, and knowing when not to notice in the first place. '

The pure monger rarely spends enough time with his sex partners for frustrations to build. If he feels slighted he will send her on her way the minute the first bit of negativity slips in the door. Since he is only willing to pay as much as he values the intimacy resentment is less apt to grow unlike in a marriage where he often shoulders huge financial burdens out of a sense of obligation. Here is where the quandary arises when mongering while married. The married monger must switch between delusion and pragmatism continually. Each mongering rendezvous or affair causes the monger to look at his marriage through the sharp prism of reality making him less delusional in almost imperceptible increments until one day he wakes up, takes a hard look at his wife and goes into crisis. It is no small feat to switch between an old fat wrinkled body and random taunt youthful ones while pretending not to notice the difference. It creates a negative feedback loop where mongers going back to their wives must gobble ever increasing doses of Viagra to combat the erectile dysfunction they experience with the old familiar graying vagina. Eventually they just give up entirely relegating their wife to the role of friend and caretaker while all of their sexual needs are fulfilled elsewhere.

[Chocha Monger]

What if you can't get it up any more, but still have the desire to monger!Some things are worst than death and that would be one of them. When your dick goes permanently limp it's time to man up and check out.

[Dash]

I shouldn't comment since I haven't been married but what the fuck.

I believe "to thine own self be true." If you really need that strange, you should find a way to get it. Women marry because they have traded their pussy and looks to make you give up your freedom in the bargain. They simply do not maintain their looks nor pussy power over time, unless they are of unusual genetic makeup or perhaps Asian.

Pussy is an addiction, but it's relatively harmless if you are not a fool. In the USA it's fraught with danger, but there do exist girls for rent here.

As far as Bonedaddy's story, I was confused since he says he's tired of lying to his wife about the other woman, but he is still lying to someone. Truth is a luxury if you can afford it and have the balls to say it.

Do women know the truth? Sure they do. They spend 1/4 of their lives in the mirror and spend inordinate time, money and effort, including expensive painful mutilation (plastic surgery) to keep what they know is their value: their looks.

Make no mistake. If your woman is getting fat and ugly, she knows it better than you. If she thinks you are not looking for strange there are several reasons: 1. You are too broke to find it 2. You are too unattractive to find it 3. You are too afraid, pussywhipped, and beaten down to dare *disobey* your wife for financial or other reasons.

If your wife is typical, she has lost respect for the guy whom she no longer suspects wants to find strange.

Denise Richards thought her magic pussy was so powerful she could reform a horndog like Charlie Sheen.

Unfortunately, guys give up the effort to have the extra time, money, and intrigue to find strange pussy. However, this is unfortunate, since women who have men completely whipped are going to get delusions of grandeur.

[LittleTruths]

The irony of a love consummated over 3 decades ago becoming the prison bars keeping two lovers apart in the present will not be lost on many young mongers.Indeed, I doubt BoneDaddy's story could fly over anybody's head but in the end, when the journey is over, it reminds you of how in the game of life there are no answers, only choices. I have always loved old buggers 'cause they sure have stories to tell; well, so do I, but that's another matter; and by the way they told their tales I was inclined to think that as you go trough life and leave parts and bits in your wake your receptive apparatus diminishes, shrinks, gets callous and so passions don't really hold much grip on you anymore the way they used to. Perhaps mine was just wishful thinking, LOL. However, despite the circumstances of the moment, BoneDaddy I'm sure that you are one lucky guy. It sounds pretty much like you have gotten and are still getting a lot out of life and yes, we get to taste a bit of everything along the way. It's the big picture that counts. Chances are, if you could start from scratch and get to chose you would still go trough all of it over again, and rightly so, because that's your story and that's what you are. I respect your choice not to hurt your wife any further with leaving her.

There is no point in going Marriage vs Mongering because the truth is that none of them really does it on all levels in the long term.

Bless

[BoneDaddy]

"it reminds you of how in the game of life there are no answers, only choices. I have always loved old buggers 'cause they sure have stories to tell"

Ouch! That hurt, Littletruths."Old Bugger"? *sigh* I guess you're right. I don't feel like one but my mirror confirms that you're right. My dick still works though so I'm not going over to the "old bugger" side until it stops.

As far as your first sentence goes I absolutely agree. The same choice may be right for me and wrong for you. It's the circumstances of our lives that dictate that. I've made the choice that I don't want to simply crash through life doing exactly as I please with no regard to the person closest to me. I've had a mountain of pussy in my life. I'm lucky. Do I need a Mt. Everest size pile to sate my ego? They'll be more, I suspect, but right now I felt I needed to stop and take stock of things. It doesn't always have to be about me and my needs. So, that's why I made the decision that I did.

[Dreams]

[

There is no point in going Marriage vs Mongering because the truth is that none of them really does it on all levels in the long term.

Bless[/QUOTE]That could be the best conclusion to this debate. Can't agree more, which is why I lead the life I lead, and still do.

[LittleTruths]

Ouch! That hurt, Littletruths."Old Bugger"? *sigh* I guess you're right. I don't feel like one but my mirror confirms that you're right. My dick still works though so I'm not going over to the "old bugger" side until it stops.The old bugger thing was just trown there with a smile, no mean to hurt anyone's feelings. But I'm sure you know that. The littletruths bugger is packing right now and will be off to Colombia in a wink, see you guys later!

Bless

[Chocha Monger]

The whole Sperminator affair shows that marriage and fucking around go together as well as high octane gasoline and flaming matches. Whatever little comfort comes from marriage for a monger is certainly negated by the risks and penalties involved in fucking other women outside the marriage. Now, if Arnold was single there wouldn't even be a story. What makes the story is the fact that he was married when he busted a nut in his maid. With all the additional penalties for married mongers who get caught why would anyone marry with the intention to continue mongering? John Edwards, Gary Hart, Elliot Spitzer, the Sperminator and others all paid the price for saying "I do" then poking strange beaver. Is staying single and being free to root whoever you want really that hard?

[Bango Cheito]

The whole Sperminator affair shows that marriage and fucking around go together as well as high octane gasoline and flaming matches. Whatever little comfort comes from marriage for a monger is certainly negated by the risks and penalties involved in fucking other women outside the marriage. Now, if Arnold was single there wouldn't even be a story. What makes the story is the fact that he was married when he busted a nut in his maid. With all the additional penalties for married mongers who get caught why would anyone marry with the intention to continue mongering? John Edwards, Gary Hart, Elliot Spitzer, the Sperminator and others all paid the price for saying "I do" then poking strange beaver. Is staying single and being free to root whoever you want really that hard?If you're a politician, especially in the socially retarded US of A, it's pretty hard to get elected unless you're married. Most people still believe in all that fake family values crap, along with Jesus the Virgin Mary Santa Claus Tooth Fairy etc. .

Here in Colombia nobody would give a fuck about that sort of thing. I don't think it's an ideal situation here (mainly because the real fun takes place behind closed doors always and people are really false on the surface sometimes) but at least people deep down get the fact that marriage is in face a total sham and a farce and nobody's going to be happy with just one sexual partner for life.

[Bareback Jack]

Well, not sure if its my place to comment here as compared to BoneDaddy's 35 years of marriage I'm a complete failure. I married first time when I was 28 and got divorced 14 years later. We had a good run for 2 years until my first daughter was born and after that everything really went down the drain. I realised that when sex between us dried up I couldn't really stand the sight of this woman. Everything about her was annoying me. I stayed in this marriage only for this long because I thought it would be good for my daughter, but today I'm not so sure anymore that this was the right choice. I was mongering all through our marriage and in the end the reason I left was because I couldn't stand the fact anymore that I was telling lies to another person. I hate lies more than anything else. I found it easy to leave her but difficult to lie to her.

My second marriage lasted for nearly 7 years and I'm waiting for my decree absolute as we speak. When I met my second wife I was excited for many reasons, she was much younger, from a different culture (african) and was very keen to keep me happy sexually. Also, we were much more compatible in comparison to my first wife, so I really thought I loved this one and had. As silly as it sounds. Hope that this could last. But then, the same pattern emerged. After our son was born two years into our marriage everything turned bad. I believe we both really tried to patch things up, but as soon as I got bored I started mongering again and was in the same dilemma as before. Again I found it much easier to leave her than to lie to her.

Being a second time divorcee and a father of 2 different kids from 2 different mothers I regard myself incapable of marriage. I don't believe that I understand what love is or that I ever felt love in the first place. Its looks and sexuality that attract me and I'm very sure that for me there is nothing more than infatuation which I repeatedly and stupidly confuse with love. Maybe I'm really just that shallow bastard who isn't husband material.

But here I go again. At the time of writing I'm in a long term with a girl from Kenya. I've met her on a mongering trip last year and I was fascinated by her. I initially wanted her just for 2 nights but as she was very exciting combined with an extremely pleasant personality. So I became curious and we just continued to stay together for a while. A while turned meanwhile into a year and its still very exciting. I just have no idea how this came about and what makes this work but I stopped thinking about it. What I do know is that somehow I don't want to let go of this woman. I'd really miss her and waking up next to her feels better than anything before in my life. On the upside she is not interested in kids. She just wants to have a good time for the next 2-3 years. Just what I want / need at the moment. I have not had any other girls aside for now.

[BoneDaddy]

You're not a failure, jhack. You're just you. You, me and all the others who post here are serial monogamists. We're good as long as the situation is good. The fact that you hate lies so much is actually a sterling character trait. You're heart is in the right place. It's just that your dick isn't always in agreement. It sounds like you've got a nice thing with your new Kenyan woman so don't fuck it up with lies this time. Try telling her the truth about what you want. If the first thing you see in the morning is her sleeping face and it makes you happy then don't pollute that with a lie. If you desire another woman from time to time tell her, have the conversation and see where it goes. She might surprise you. If she's insistent that you be exclusive to her for a while, try it and see what that feels like. Then again, maybe she'll be agreeable to you having a fling from time to time if you always come home to her bed at night. Have the talk. If lies make you feel like shit then don't lie. That's what it became for me. The lies were the ugliness on an otherwise beautiful thing. I sound like Dear Friggin Abby here but it's my experience. If it's based on lies it won't work. If it's based on honesty you've got a chance. Welcome to the conversation, jhack. You've got a lot to offer.

[Dickhead]

Some things are worst than death and that would be one of them. When your dick goes permanently limp it's time to man up and check out.I disagree. You can lick this problem.

[Dickhead]

Jhack 111:

How about don't knock her up this time?

[Mr Enternational]

I believe we both really tried to patch things up, but as soon as I got bored I started mongering again and was in the same dilemma as before. Again I found it much easier to leave her than to lie to her.

Being a second time divorcee and a father of 2 different kids from 2 different mothers I regard myself incapable of marriage. I don't believe that I understand what love is or that I ever felt love in the first place. Its looks and sexuality that attract me and I'm very sure that for me there is nothing more than infatuation which I repeatedly and stupidly confuse with love. Maybe I'm really just that shallow bastard who isn't husband material. Brother it looks like the only one you have been lying to is yourself. And it's impossible to leave yourself. You are right. You are not husband material, so why do you continue trying to be? It is okay to be yourself and not try to fit a particular mold. And if people don't like you for being yourself, FUCK EM!

[Dickhead]

What is the difference between luck and beer?

[BoneDaddy]

Sounds like a Zen Koan, Dickhead. I dunno, with beer you're guaranteed head and with luck it's 50-50? Tell us.

[Jiggydus]

I am married and I have been mongering before as well as during my marriage. I even mongered the week after returning from my honeymoon. But that is not my dilemma. When my wife and I first got married, I told her divorce was not an option. That was when my mongering was largely a domestic affair (no pun intended). But now that I have gotten a taste of international mongering (I LUV it) , I am actually contemplating divorce or just hoping lightning strikes or something natural like that occurs to you know who. But as soon as such "wishful" thinking crosses my mind, I actually pray something like that doesn't happen. So I do have a heart fellas. But back to the point. The reason I am so hooked on international mongering is I like having something different to go to wherever I go. I actually kid with my wife that I want to convert to Islam. So I can have multiple wives. Or I tell her I plan to live part of the year in Africa but she has no intentions of following me there, so I would be free to cum and go as I please (pun intended). I also joke about having girlfriends as the reason I am secretive. I keep my mongering activities well under wraps so she takes my joking as just in line with how Caribbean men are with regard to women. But she doesn't suspect I cheat on her since I am always around (other than when I leave on these work trips). I often feel as though I would be much better off as a single guy (there are other things going on that make me feel that way outside of my sex life). The major thing that keeps me from being serious about asking for a divorce is her family and some of our friends. I make such a move and I would be a pariah to them. So that is the whole purpose behind BIG weddings. To make it difficult for either party to cut the cord. If only I had a court ceremony like those gay folks are doing today. I would be so single today!

[Chocha Monger]

I am married and I have been mongering before as well as during my marriage. I even mongered the week after returning from my honeymoon. But that is not my dilemma. When my wife and I first got married, I told her divorce was not an option. That was when my mongering was largely a domestic affair (no pun intended). But now that I have gotten a taste of international mongering (I LUV it) , I am actually contemplating divorce or just hoping lightning strikes or something natural like that occurs to you know who. But as soon as such "wishful" thinking crosses my mind, I actually pray something like that doesn't happen. So I do have a heart fellas. But back to the point. The reason I am so hooked on international mongering is I like having something different to go to wherever I go. I actually kid with my wife that I want to convert to Islam. So I can have multiple wives. Or I tell her I plan to live part of the year in Africa but she has no intentions of following me there, so I would be free to cum and go as I please (pun intended). I also joke about having girlfriends as the reason I am secretive. I keep my mongering activities well under wraps so she takes my joking as just in line with how Caribbean men are with regard to women. But she doesn't suspect I cheat on her since I am always around (other than when I leave on these work trips). I often feel as though I would be much better off as a single guy (there are other things going on that make me feel that way outside of my sex life). The major thing that keeps me from being serious about asking for a divorce is her family and some of our friends. I make such a move and I would be a pariah to them. So that is the whole purpose behind BIG weddings. To make it difficult for either party to cut the cord. If only I had a court ceremony like those gay folks are doing today. I would be so single today!Jiggydus,

I'm afraid there is no way out for you. International mongering is something that could have been. You're trapped like a rat! The OJ option will land you in jail for life. Divorce will cripple you financially for the next 5 to 20 yrs with punishing alimony and child support payments. I'm afraid that you can only maintain your deception while secretly praying for her demise. It's a terrible thing to have built your own prison from which there is no escape or from which escape is too costly.

[Bareback Jack]

How about don't knock her up this time?I'll try to. But as I'm a bare back fanatic it's not completely within my control

[Helpmann]

So what are the odds of finding a wife who wants to monger with her man?

1:10
1:100
1:1,000
1:100,000
1:1,000,000

[Drlawyer]

I am married and I have been mongering before as well as during my marriage. I even mongered the week after returning from my honeymoon. But that is not my dilemma. When my wife and I first got married, I told her divorce was not an option. That was when my mongering was largely a domestic affair (no pun intended). But now that I have gotten a taste of international mongering (I LUV it) , I am actually contemplating divorce or just hoping lightning strikes or something natural like that occurs to you know who. But as soon as such "wishful" thinking crosses my mind, I actually pray something like that doesn't happen. So I do have a heart fellas. But back to the point. The reason I am so hooked on international mongering is I like having something different to go to wherever I go. I actually kid with my wife that I want to convert to Islam. So I can have multiple wives. Or I tell her I plan to live part of the year in Africa but she has no intentions of following me there, so I would be free to cum and go as I please (pun intended). I also joke about having girlfriends as the reason I am secretive. I keep my mongering activities well under wraps so she takes my joking as just in line with how Caribbean men are with regard to women. But she doesn't suspect I cheat on her since I am always around (other than when I leave on these work trips). I often feel as though I would be much better off as a single guy (there are other things going on that make me feel that way outside of my sex life). The major thing that keeps me from being serious about asking for a divorce is her family and some of our friends. I make such a move and I would be a pariah to them. So that is the whole purpose behind BIG weddings. To make it difficult for either party to cut the cord. If only I had a court ceremony like those gay folks are doing today. I would be so single today!Jiggy, You are screwed like so many I know. Oh well. Suck it up.

And don't believe for a second that your wife doesn't know what time it is. She pretends not to know so that you can pretend that you are not doing what you are doing. Its all about respect and keeping face.

Don't rub it in that you are a monger or want to do so. Also, don't forget.women are worse than men. So don't think for a second the wife hasn't done something on the side as well.

[Bango Cheito]

So what are the odds of finding a wife who wants to monger with her man?

1:10.

1:100.

1:1, 000.

1:100, 000.

1:1, 000, 000I did it once already and my current gf is also down.

[Bareback Jack]

...You are right. You are not husband material, so why do you continue trying to be? It is okay to be yourself and not try to fit a particular mold...I guess you're right. Just as no two people have the same set of fingerprints it should be perfectly acceptable in modern societies to have very individualised life styles especially when it comes to our private life. I guess it just took too long for me to realise in my life as one way or another everyone suffers somehow from being more or less institutionalised.

I'm more of what BoneDaddy described as a serial monogamist. I like to be exclusive with a woman until I have explored her and know her inside out, sexually as well as mentally. This can last, depending on the woman anything from a few weeks to a few years. But there will be inevitably a point when this is not challenging enough anymore, when everything becomes routine and this is exactly the point when I feel the urge to check out.

The proposition of mongering is easy enough but it doesn't fulfil all my needs. I'm definitely done with marriage, I can not see any benefit in it, the legal and material implications are unpredictable. But I'm not done with mid to long term relationships.


...If the first thing you see in the morning is her sleeping face and it makes you happy then don't pollute that with a lie...That's exactly what I'm going by. As long as this feeling is there I will stick around. When I'm there with her she drains me 24/7. I can't be there all the time, like most other people I have work to do, I'm on business travel and I need to see my children from time to time.

That's when the problem starts. I see booty on the street and I want to start chasing. I've never been shy with women, so there is plenty of opportunity and it requires a lot of discipline to resist. But maybe its worth to develop that discipline and not to give into every urge for the sake of instant gratification. The longest I stayed away from her was for 2 weeks. After that I'm so bloody in need that if I wouldn't return I won't be able to stay faithful.

[Dickhead]

Sounds like a Zen Koan, Dickhead. I dunno, with beer you're guaranteed head and with luck it's 50-50? Tell us.It's a lot easier to calculate when your beer is going to run out.

[Dickhead]

I'll try to. But as I'm a bare back fanatic it's not completely within my controlIn that case you are an irresponsible asshole. Get a vasectomy.

[Bareback Jack]

In that case you are an irresponsible asshole. Get a vasectomy.Don't know what qualifies you to make such a comment? As I do care for all my kids in terms of time, money and affection I'd say you are out of line.

[Dickhead]

If you are barebacking hookers you have no idea how many kids you have, so you have no idea if you are caring for all of them.

[Crypton]

Don't know what qualifies you to make such a comment? As I do care for all my kids in terms of time, money and affection I'd say you are out of line.I think your bigger problem might be transmitting a STD to your wife. Not a pretty situation.

[Bareback Jack]

If you are barebacking hookers you have no idea how many kids you have, so you have no idea if you are caring for all of them.Thank you. I know exactly how many kids I have fathered. I don't bareback one offs. I bareback long terms and I'm very very sure were one of them pregnant or have a child from me I'd know about. I'm not mongering undercover. Every of these girls has my contact details.

[Bareback Jack]

I think your bigger problem might be transmitting a STD to your wife. Not a pretty situation.Umh. I can't transmit what I don't have.

[Bareback Jack]

In that case you are an irresponsible asshole. Get a vasectomy.A vasectomy is not a good solution if you still want to father more kids! By the way I don't mind having a child with a pro. Social status doesn't matter for me. Only the right genes do. I'd rather have a kid with a beautiful african pro than with a genetically deteriorated 1st world woman. Choices, choices.

I have one child with a Kenyan from my second marriage. This boy is sharp as hell and absolutely gorgeous. She wasn't a pro. In fact she came from a wealthy family. But once you live long enough in Kenya you know that there is no real difference between WGs and non WGs. You will find very very intelligent and educated women working as pro simply due to the fact that if you don't come from the right background you will still have no chance.

So, to sum this up I'll be more than happy to have another child with a woman who has the right genes whether she is what you call a hooker or not. It doesn't matter to me. Children are children.

Anyway, what an irony. A dickhead calling somebody else asshole. PMSL.

[Jiggydus]

Jiggy, You are screwed like so many I know. Oh well. Suck it up.

And don't believe for a second that your wife doesn't know what time it is. She pretends not to know so that you can pretend that you are not doing what you are doing. Its all about respect and keeping face.

Don't rub it in that you are a monger or want to do so. Also, don't forget. Women are worse than men. So don't think for a second the wife hasn't done something on the side as well. Truthfully, I think I monger because my wife is a prude when it comes to sex. She doesn't want it when I want it and when she does want it, she won't allow me to do certain things (like DATY and she would look at me like I said a curse word if I asked her to give me a BJ) and wants it over as quickly as possible. But the ladies I bang in Africa don't mind doing any of the above and they "want me long time." The fact she doesn't enjoy sex and how she feels guilty if she admires a pastor and tells me everywhere she is going does not lead me to even think for a minute she would creep on me while I am out of the country. In an ironic way, I kind of wish she were the type of lady whom I had to keep on top of. Would make me get what I need at home.

So does this make me feel guilty? Not at all. She got her happiness when we got married and I thought I was getting my happiness during our honeymoon. But the sex was lackluster then and it has not gotten much better. So I monger. If I didn't monger, then I guess I would officially be gay. But guydom I am not. So I will continue to monger with the beautiful African ladies of Africa and the Carib.

[Jiggydus]

Truthfully, I think I monger because my wife is a prude when it comes to sex. She doesn't want it when I want it and when she does want it, she won't allow me to do certain things (like DATY and she would look at me like I said a curse word if I asked her to give me a BJ) and wants it over as quickly as possible. But the ladies I bang in Africa don't mind doing any of the above and they "want me long time." The fact she doesn't enjoy sex and how she feels guilty if she admires a pastor and tells me everywhere she is going does not lead me to even think for a minute she would creep on me while I am out of the country. In an ironic way, I kind of wish she were the type of lady whom I had to keep on top of. Would make me get what I need at home.

So does this make me feel guilty? Not at all. She got her happiness when we got married and I thought I was getting my happiness during our honeymoon. But the sex was lackluster then and it has not gotten much better. So I monger. If I didn't monger, then I guess I would officially be gay. But guydom I am not. So I will continue to monger with the beautiful African ladies of Africa and the Carib. I am a visual guy so I will give you a visual. When it comes to sex, if my Johnson doesn't come erect, it is on me to get it ready to perform. Then she just lays there like a starfish. So imagine me jacking myself to get it ready, always applying KY because she is never wet (and mind you, she won't let me DATY) , and then lays there sometimes asking me to get it over with. Mish only all the time. No K9. Rarely cowgirl and when she does it is weak. No BJ. What's a man to do? Monger, that's right! My one regret is buying into the notion of not testing the goods before getting hitched. And the kicker is she was the only one I did that with. So I know what I passed up in previous relationships.

[Bareback Jack]

...Then she just lays there like a starfish. So imagine me jacking myself to get it ready, always applying KY because she is never wet (and mind you, she won't let me DATY) , and then lays there sometimes asking me to get it over with...My first wife was like that. Whatever she wanted to get out of marriage. It definitely wasn't sex. Which, as you say leaves you with no choice but to monger.

May I ask you why you still bother to do it with her at all? What you describe would be a turn off for anyone. I totally agree with your description of African women. They are my all time favourite too. That's why I am asking. After such wonderful experiences why ruin it with bad sex at home?

[Dickhead]

Umh. I can't transmit what I don't have.I'll let someone else explain to you what an incubation period is. I'm just going to go ahead and call you a clueless irresponsible asshole.

[Bareback Jack]

I'll let someone else explain to you what an incubation period is. I'm just going to go ahead and call you a clueless irresponsible asshole.I don't need someone to explain that. Incubation period is from exposure to when symptoms start. Means you can still test and get results much earlier than that. Google it if you want and get some education yourself.

You are just the dickhead your name suggests. Go and get a life

[Mr Enternational]

Truthfully, I think I monger because my wife is a prude when it comes to sex. She doesn't want it when I want it and when she does want it, she won't allow me to do certain things (like DATY and she would look at me like I said a curse word if I asked her to give me a BJ) and wants it over as quickly as possible.Well why on earth would you get married to her?

[Member #3439]

If you are barebacking hookers you have no idea how many kids you have, so you have no idea if you are caring for all of them.One would assume that if a hooker is barebacking, she takes the pill. Girls sometimes do it for the purpose of getting repeat customers, so she does know that not only is that guy going to shoot in her once, but he's going to come back and do it a bunch of times. And that's what she aims for, to distinguish herself from other girls out there who are equally attractive but only do safe sex, and to get him to do this all the time. I doubt a girl would take this strategy if she was without contraceptive, obviously knowing that a pregnancy could temporarily put her out of business.

I understand how a guy could become a BBFS fanatic on a particular girl at a time. I think the reasoning from our side is that if you've barebacked a girl once, you've already assumed the STI risk so might as well go back and do it a bunch more times. And since most WGs in most places don't bareback, there is a little spark when the girl has that kind of acceptance and acts so naturally. I know the logic doesn't work out, but people are not always logical, especially not when thinking with the little head.

Anyway, the girls must know the consequences. Any girl with a brain would be on the pill if she is barebacking. So I doubt this gentleman has a flock of offspring somewhere.

[Bango Cheito]

One would assume that if a hooker is barebacking, she takes the pill. Girls sometimes do it for the purpose of getting repeat customers, so she does know that not only is that guy going to shoot in her once, but he's going to come back and do it a bunch of times. And that's what she aims for, to distinguish herself from other girls out there who are equally attractive but only do safe sex, and to get him to do this all the time. I doubt a girl would take this strategy if she was without contraceptive, obviously knowing that a pregnancy could temporarily put her out of business.

I understand how a guy could become a BBFS fanatic on a particular girl at a time. I think the reasoning from our side is that if you've barebacked a girl once, you've already assumed the STI risk so might as well go back and do it a bunch more times. And since most WGs in most places don't bareback, there is a little spark when the girl has that kind of acceptance and acts so naturally. I know the logic doesn't work out, but people are not always logical, especially not when thinking with the little head.

Anyway, the girls must know the consequences. Any girl with a brain would be on the pill if she is barebacking. So I doubt this gentleman has a flock of offspring somewhere. One can assume all one wants, hookers having kids with their clients (and most of the time the client having NO IDEA) is much more common than people think. Even when they are taking all steps not to have kids including insisting on a rubber, sometimes accidents happen and many of these girls don't want to abort no matter WHAT the circumstances. Which is one of many reasons why I just don't understand why guys are so eager to BB.

[Peskadot]

Any girl with a brain would be on the pill if she is barebacking. .This statement is a complete oxymoron, a working girl barebacking doesn't have a brain. Nor does the punter.

Just MHO.

Peskadot

[Bareback Jack]

This statement is a complete oxymoron, a working girl barebacking doesn't have a brain. Nor does the punter.

Just MHO.

PeskadotTo be honest, whether anyone in this forum thinks that I am brainless is really no skin off my bones. You are entitled to your opinion but just because you think I have no brain doesn't make it necessarily true.

However please before making generalised statements take a chance to educate yourself.

There is an entire forum on ISG dedicated to BB (AO) in Germany and you can see that the reality is. It is a growing scene and not only in Germany, whether people here like it or not. It is reality.

Last but not least and that is more directed towards the other posts. If have posted a picture on another forum of the girl that I'm BBing for the last 8 months. If I happen to have a child with her none of us will feel bad about it. Much to the contrary

[Longdeluxe]

Every american chick knows that if you marry them they got you by the balls which enables them to behave like selfish pigs. The reverse is true in PI. The laws favor men so PI woman have become super girlfreinds around the world. Nobody comes to america to fuck american woman. Marriage laws adversely affect behavior and when you are considering it take this into account.

[Chocha Monger]

Which is one of many reasons why I just don't understand why guys are so eager to BB.How about because it feels so damn good! :D

[Bango Cheito]

How about because it feels so damn good! :DIf you use a good brand of condom it's a very very miniscule difference. At least IME.

Hell, if I'm really going to fuck the daylights out of a girl, sometimes I PREFER having a condom on. Saves Jr. From getting all tore up.

[Chocha Monger]

If you use a good brand of condom it's a very very miniscule difference. At least IME.

Hell, if I'm really going to fuck the daylights out of a girl, sometimes I PREFER having a condom on. Saves Jr. From getting all tore up.A lot of guys don't want to experience that difference no matter how miniscule. Also, you can't deliver a cream pie while wearing a condom. That's very important for guys who appreciate the aesthetics of seeing their jizz dripping from a hot snatch.

[Artisttyp]

There is an entire forum on ISG dedicated to BB (AO) in Germany and you can see that the reality is. It is a growing scene and not only in Germany, whether people here like it or not. It is reality.

Last but not least and that is more directed towards the other posts.I've heard this discussed before and what you say does have some validity to it. The argument in favor of BBFS is that HIV is harder to get than most people think. Obviously it is to be taken seriously but there is debate as to whom to trust when "factual" information is given. Knowing where to get your information from is key. Under the right circumstances HIV will develop but many variables have to be in place for this to happen. Also worth mentioning is "viral load" as an important factor. Due to the advancement of HIV drugs one can technically have sex with an HIV infected person and be at extremely low risk of catching anything due to the viral load count being so low. There is also a lower risk with "one time" sex because you aren't being re introduced to the virus when you would be more at risk of catching something.

These are all theories. Some make sense some don't but that might explain why people are letting themselves go these days. Another reason is. "What the fuck is life without some raw pussy"? The reality is guys who don't get civies cannot go a lifetime without having *real sex. It just doesn't cut it in the long run unless U-turn to oral pleasures like I do.

You can catch many other things BBing but there is a cure for most of it. At least that is what some people take into consideration. The other aspect is acting on desperation. None of it is wrong or avoidable but ALL have consequences. UP TO YOU SIR.

[Bango Cheito]

I guess you could say I've developed into an oral fanatic over the years for the same reason.

[Bango Cheito]

The big question would then be: what really IS the ideal relationship between a woman and a man?

[Chocha Monger]

The big question would then be: what really IS the ideal relationship between a woman and a man?The ideal relationship between a man and a woman would be one where you are free to leave without being penalized financially or otherwise. It would be a relationship free of exit fees.

[LittleTruths]

The big question would then be: what really IS the ideal relationship between a woman and a man?That obviously depends on who you are and what you're looking for at a certain point in your life.

As far as I am concerned, lately I found the "friends with benefits" arrangement to be the one I feel most comfortable being in. I have little doubt tho that in the moment other variables of my life (work, lifestyle, travelling) would change, so would be my preference regarding emotional / sexual relationships.

E. G. If you are always on the road spending between a few days and a few weeks in different countries during most of the year, it would be kind of difficult (if not straight up crazy) to try and keep a "regular" girlfriend / wifey. By contrast, if you have a regular, square life then it would be easier for your emotional / sexual relationship to be just as regular and squared as the rest of your life is.

I love the feeling of un-committed love, it's just like the real thing but you stand one step back from being in it completely so everything is kept cool to a comfortable degree. I'm not too sure it works the same way around as far as the girls are concerned tho, actually I think they're just held back by your own initiative and would much rather prefer for you to be sucked in with them but hey; all of them I care for, none of them I love.

Bless

[Switched]

If you can't have an honest relationship with your partner, then what type of relationship do you have?

I've noticed a few women on this forum (one in the Fiji section, can't remember seeing the other one) who have husbands that monger and are fine with it.

The bit that I've been coming to terms with is what happens when she takes advantage of the same opportunities. If I'm in a strong relationship, there is no way I'd let that happen and it would be more than reasonable to abide by the same rule.

[Gentleman Travel]

Truthfully, I think I monger because my wife is a prude when it comes to sex. She doesn't want it when I want it and when she does want it, she won't allow me to do certain things (like DATY and she would look at me like I said a curse word if I asked her to give me a BJ) and wants it over as quickly as possible. But the ladies I bang in Africa don't mind doing any of the above and they "want me long time." The fact she doesn't enjoy sex and how she feels guilty if she admires a pastor and tells me everywhere she is going does not lead me to even think for a minute she would creep on me while I am out of the country. In an ironic way, I kind of wish she were the type of lady whom I had to keep on top of. Would make me get what I need at home.

So does this make me feel guilty? Not at all. She got her happiness when we got married and I thought I was getting my happiness during our honeymoon. But the sex was lackluster then and it has not gotten much better. So I monger. If I didn't monger, then I guess I would officially be gay. But guydom I am not. So I will continue to monger with the beautiful African ladies of Africa and the Carib.Certainly when wifey is not putting her heart (or body) into it, she makes it much easier on us to seek it elsewhere.

And maybe that is just fine. Maybe a woman cannot be everything a man wants.

In many cultures this is implicitly recognized and successful men have mistresses or liaisions, and it is not necessarily a big deal.

Only in the US is it treated as such a big deal, a serious moral sin and a guaranteed marriage-buster, with the man as the sinning bad guy.

I hear marriage counsellors talking about the difficulty of getting over the betrayal of infidelity.

Well, it is a big deal because we make it a big deal. But it doesn't have to be that way.

I think many women (my wife included) would prefer to not know if we cheat, and would not thank anyone who exposed her to this knowledge.

Actually, mongering probably saved my marriage, although she might not want to hear that.

She went through a "starfish" phase like Jiggy's wife and it lasted for years.

So that is when I got serious about mongering and got over any guilt about it (which is our biggest enemy).

In addition to more traditional mongering grounds like P4P and Eastern Europe, I also checked out the local after-market for divorced men and women.

I realized that the after-market for middle-aged nice guys with good jobs and all their own hair was pretty good, whereas for middle-aged divorced women with kids, it was a buyers market and there were some gems to be had.

Plus I knew there were fabulous, younger, beautiful and very sexual EE women who would love to have a guy like me.

So one day when my wife was "too tired" once again, I kicked her out of bed, told her I was tired of her being tired, and made her meet with a sex counsellor (not marriage, I wanted to make it clear where the problem was).

Well, she responded fairly well to this treatment and realized that failure to perform wifely duties was a one-way ticket to divorce.

More importantly, she began to take (or appears to) some interest and pleasure from such proceedings, and it became a virtuous cycle.

Still, things are far from perfect, it is pretty much standard "white bread" sex, and it takes some effort to get even token oral sex.

But it is still sex 3-4 times per week, which is better than once every 3-4 weeks, which it was at one stage.

And when I want something more or different, I just buy it on the P4P market.

And I still get the chance to monger once or twice a year on business trips.

And all this without having to go through the pain of divorce, hurting the kids, losing the house, etc.

So mongering gave me by balls back, which so many of us lose or voluntarily surrender at the marriage altar or the altar of contemporary feminist culture.

And women know when you have balls. That is why they go for "bad boys" against all their teachings and self-interest. So many will respond positively to this change.

[HectorSanchez]

I need an advise from you experienced folks.

I am 28 yr old south asian in america. My family puts a lot of pressure getting married. As a kida social outcast in my country and as soon as I came to america, I knew my thinkings were right. I am against marriage as I think the risks outweigh benefits. I love kids to death but not in america. In my country, kids take care of family when adults get older. Here I feel they are vampires who will suck the money out of you not realizing what you sacrificed and how difficult was it to earn every single dollar. Part of this reason could also be the society who has framed the system this way. You could have 10 kids but each one of them become worthless when you land in trouble with either disease, jobless or old age. Again I am not generalizing but this is my feeling.

The other good side of america is that you won't be judged and its ok not to have kids or remain unmarried. Divorce is expensive and american society and laws always leans more towards protection of wife and kids.

I have a a good job and am young. I could get free pussy but I have turned to mongering as it comes with no bullshit. I don't have to answer any questions and I have whole freedom.

I tried to have debates about marriage but people just would talk things how one should get married and not exactly telling me why. They had no strong reasons and could not answer my questions with a good reasoning.

Would you guys suggest to get married?

[Bango Cheito]

I need an advise from you experienced folks.

I am 28 yr old south asian in america. My family puts a lot of pressure getting married. As a kida social outcast in my country and as soon as I came to america, I knew my thinkings were right. I am against marriage as I think the risks outweigh benefits. I love kids to death but not in america. In my country, kids take care of family when adults get older. Here I feel they are vampires who will suck the money out of you not realizing what you sacrificed and how difficult was it to earn every single dollar. Part of this reason could also be the society who has framed the system this way. You could have 10 kids but each one of them become worthless when you land in trouble with either disease, jobless or old age. Again I am not generalizing but this is my feeling.

The other good side of america is that you won't be judged and its ok not to have kids or remain unmarried. Divorce is expensive and american society and laws always leans more towards protection of wife and kids.

I have a a good job and am young. I could get free pussy but I have turned to mongering as it comes with no bullshit. I don't have to answer any questions and I have whole freedom.

I tried to have debates about marriage but people just would talk things how one should get married and not exactly telling me why. They had no strong reasons and could not answer my questions with a good reasoning.

Would you guys suggest to get married?You already know the answer. Don't do it!

[Member #4480]

You already know the answer. Don't do it!The answer is he should go back to his fucking country.

[Praj4]

I need an advise from you experienced folks.

Would you guys suggest to get married?I can give you one amoral reason in favour of marriage as institution.

Marriage is an economic institution. This is cheapest way to get your sex instinct satisfied more or less on regular basis! That's the reason it has weathered so long! Any other means will cost you more money and will be unpredictable under certain circumstances! And as in any other scheme or method, this scheme it will suffer from certain cost and limitations which needs mind application to resolve. Calculate your expenses to see my point and appreciate this scheme is like future option of stock market in terms of its price!

[Double Shooter]

In addition to more traditional mongering grounds like P4P and Eastern Europe, I also checked out the local after-market for divorced men and women.

I realized that the after-market for middle-aged nice guys with good jobs and all their own hair was pretty good, whereas for middle-aged divorced women with kids, it was a buyers market and there were some gems to be had.

Plus I knew there were fabulous, younger, beautiful and very sexual EE women who would love to have a guy like me.

So mongering gave me by balls back, which so many of us lose or voluntarily surrender at the marriage altar or the altar of contemporary feminist culture.

And women know when you have balls. That is why they go for "bad boys" against all their teachings and self-interest. So many will respond positively to this change.An excellent piece. Thanks for contributing.

[Jp Slicky]

My name is Slicky and I am a 'Married Monger'

'Hello Slicky, welcome to our group'

This is my story.

I was married in 1995 to a Japanese woman. I have two kids, one boy and one girl and now live in Tokyo, Japan for at least 19 years total.

As married man in the early years sex was not a problem between the both of us, and my wife had no problems running around the house naked which I did not mind provided no one else was around. We had sex before marriage, and it slowly dwindled down to nothing for the past 2 years. About a year ago, I went to put a smelly dish rag in the wash machine and open the door to the room, and she was naked and started to scream and tell me to get the hell out. I have not seen her tits or pussy in over two years now. Every time she takes a bath with me present, she slams the door to the bathroom area, but she is ok with daughter seeing her. I never ever sexually abused her!

Sex really dwindling down to nothing especially since Sept. 2008 when I was laid off and not able to find work here in Japan. Sex went from less frequent, to not allowing certain fore play to not even touching my hard-on and to those terrible words during sex 'Hurry up'. Now I have not even seen her naked body in over a year. Many times I would give her a full body massage and she would cover up her tits or became too sleepy to want to do it with me.

Then. The Electric Boyfriend came into her life. Here, I was out there teaching English (I consider myself a professional in another area unrelated and better paid) there she was at home sleeping and having rounds with electric boyfriend. Why do I know? I placed the cord in a certain way and remember how it was. I come home from teaching brats and look in the drawer where it was always kept, and the cord moved or placed in the drawer differently. Therefore she wanted Electric boyfriend more than me. I kept thinking that I would take a wire cutters to the cord but did not. I came home one day and looked and she did it herself. She bitched often about me not having a decent job and no or low income, but when I went out and done what was available to me, she is at home going rounds with Electric Boyfriend. Talk about hurt.

My first monger experience was in on a Shanghi Biz trip in June. 2006. I went to a local bar not knowing later on I would bring home two Chinese ladies for a romp. Now combined with biz trips and trips paid for on my own, I have mongered in Philippines, Singapore Malaysia China, and Thailand. I lost count of how many I have done for P4P, but it is under 80 I am sure. (All my threesomes have been the worse) Many of the self paid trips were secret. She thought I was somewhere in Japan on business but in reality I was in Philippine or Thailand playing John Holmes. The action is so stupid and expensive here in Japan, but lately I have been thinking of trying it. I also plan my next trip to Philippine in Sept 2012. I had a account on Filipina Heart and DIA where I was doing nothing but getting out there and meeting others women. I no longer care what she would think, I just care about going again. If I can get a week off from work, I use it to monger somewhere in SE Asia.

Now, I have absolutely no regrets about mongering behind her back and use household funds to do it. And am to the point that I really don't care if she catches me or not. The main reason I am still here shacked up with this woman is for the sake of the kids, but even that thinking is beginning to wane since I can no longer stand being here in Japan.

We had plans to buy a house and settle in the US. The money would come from my saving and hard work and miser lifestyle before and little bit after I met her. So I am the one that had a bank account but she had not even so much as saved 10 yen. Just before my second one was born, I was in the States trying to reestablish myself there and had the funds to do it. She had second thoughts and fudged at the idea of living in the USA. We already went through the shit to get her Green Card. I now realized that life in USA was not going to happen. I gave up my dreams to buy a house in USA and concentrated on family stability by moving back to Japan and I found a job that permitted me to do so that, and we bought a 56sqr meter (550sq feet) condo for 325K US $. Now I have hardly any room here with two kids. And I have to put up without having the things in life that I would have in the states. Kids have no want to learn English. I agree. I made a lot of poor choices, but I was thinking of the good of the family when I made them.

Now this woman lays around in bed, watches TV goes out to meet her friends or sister for whatever reasons, but most of all she does not keep the house clean or throw out shit. Many times she does not make dinner for me and even the kids. As I type this she is over there laying on the floor doing fucking nothing and there is a heap of laundry from yesterday to put away and more outside to bring in.

I would be glad to fill in more details if you have questions or comments. Cut me off? Then I monger.

[Bareback Jack]

The answer is he should go back to his fucking country.Did you wear your pointed little hat while you was writing this?

[Delta Indigo]

I need an advise from you experienced folks.

I am 28 yr old south asian in america. My family puts a lot of pressure getting married. As a kida social outcast in my country and as soon as I came to america, I knew my thinkings were right. I am against marriage as I think the risks outweigh benefits. I love kids to death but not in america. In my country, kids take care of family when adults get older. Here I feel they are vampires who will suck the money out of you not realizing what you sacrificed and how difficult was it to earn every single dollar. Part of this reason could also be the society who has framed the system this way. You could have 10 kids but each one of them become worthless when you land in trouble with either disease, jobless or old age. Again I am not generalizing but this is my feeling.

The other good side of america is that you won't be judged and its ok not to have kids or remain unmarried. Divorce is expensive and american society and laws always leans more towards protection of wife and kids.

I have a a good job and am young. I could get free pussy but I have turned to mongering as it comes with no bullshit. I don't have to answer any questions and I have whole freedom.

I tried to have debates about marriage but people just would talk things how one should get married and not exactly telling me why. They had no strong reasons and could not answer my questions with a good reasoning.

Would you guys suggest to get married?Hi,

I am American, living in London, but try and keep an open mind. I know lots of South Asian people and how many of them think. They are quick to make value judgements as other people can about other the societies they live in and do very little to fit into their surrounding society, therefore their prejudices get reinforced. Especially conservative Indians would get shocked by what they think they see on the surface and not try to see how things really are. Many children are devoted to their parents, but not out of obligation. And in India the middle class have so many servants that they do not really have to shoulder the burden of caring for their parents, and it is probably not entirely out of love but social obligations.

But now let me answer your real question, I think the vast majority of people whether in the West or in the East just follow life according to a plan, this plan is created by the dominant ideology and its productive forces, do not get me wrong I am quite financially well off and this is not communist bs that I am uttering.

1 Go to College.

2 Get a good middle class Job

3 Get married and have kids.

This is true whether you are East or West. I personally was married once, and got divorced amicably and would look at things more carefully the second time around. People are very judgemental and will tell you to get back on the plan and judge you if you do things different.

A lot of women think you should settle down, because a wealthy man who is not devoted his energy and success to women is wrong.

I get told I should look for a woman at work. I do not like english women and I do not really care how well educated and middle class my woman is.

I would rather have a sex goddess who looks gorgeous naked who also loves me. I am highly educated but I see educated people saying stupid things all the time and I do not value someone's credentials in this regard rather how they think.

So what is marriage for? Nothing in particular, it gives the less wealthy partner the ability to blackmail the hell out the more wealthy one (divorce settlement)

So why would anyone ever get married? Social norms and the power of women in that society to socially pressure you to accept this idiotic bargain.

I would happily live with a woman I truly loved for ever but not marry her, if you really love each other why get married?

If you lose interest in her, I lost interest in my spouse after 7 years or so and she was gorgeous, I heard that after a few years everyone loses interest in who they are having sex with and meet someone else, the marriage will be like a heavy burden around your neck. You can have kids and live with someone and not be married, if you do not want to have kids why get married at all?

I have thought about kids and not being alone when I am old, however you do not want kids at all. Also I realise I have a lot of freedom to do whatever I want, many women have told me this. In that case I value my freedom.

I think you are thinking independently and are questioning the values of the culture you grew up in, so I would not get married, I would keep my options open. I do not think you realise how America entirely works, children love their parents on the most part but there is no socially enforced norm that you have to take care of them directly. And people work and do not have full time servants to take care of their elders.

But many mongers who did get angry with you, would admit that American women are not their cup of tea, so their are seriously wrong things with any country. Everyone loves Ukranian women for example, but the country is totally messed up in many ways.

[Delta Indigo]

If you can't have an honest relationship with your partner, then what type of relationship do you have?

I've noticed a few women on this forum (one in the Fiji section, can't remember seeing the other one) who have husbands that monger and are fine with it.

The bit that I've been coming to terms with is what happens when she takes advantage of the same opportunities. If I'm in a strong relationship, there is no way I'd let that happen and it would be more than reasonable to abide by the same rule.I think it can work but is rare. Look in the Prague forum recently about a Danish women that wants to get her husband a nice working girl as a present. I think if a woman were totally confident that she would not be adandoned or left as a result of the cheating, she would not care so much.

If they are worried that you will leave them and actually like the person then they worry. No one will remain completely physically attracted to their partner always, but if you and the woman know that sex is sex only, then it can work and if you are bound together in other ways.

If you see the report above yours, mongering can in fact help and save marriages and we are made to feel super guilty about it in the USA.

[Rick Rock]

My wife knows what I do and is fine with it. Sometimes she even likes to talk about specific experiences during sex. We have a very regular sex life when I am home. 1-2 times a day on average.

[Delta Indigo]

My wife knows what I do and is fine with it. Sometimes she even likes to talk about specific experiences during sex. We have a very regular sex life when I am home. 1-2 times a day on average.I am now just curious and not being judgemental in any way. Do you enjoy sex with your wife then? You seem to do it a lot for a married couple.

Do you just need variety and have to have sex with other girls? Or does the mongering actually spice up your sex life with your wife?

I believe my mongering helped my marriage last a lot longer, but letting me explore other options and accept being with her despite her shortcomings.

[Rick Rock]

A little bit of both actually. It started after we started swinging, a few years into our marriage (after she started talking about wanting to play with and sucks tits while we were having sex). Turns out it's difficult to find reliable good looking couples, while we are both home and free. So we evolved into an open relationship. Being married, I don't have a lot of time or availability to pick up girls on the side, so after admitting that I did p4p in the past, my wife recommended getting back into it if I promised to tell her about it.

[HectorSanchez]

I agree with your thoughts. Society, marriage, relationships were all created by sociology folks who wanted to have stability in the society. 500 years ago, these did not existed. In todays world, man bears the most loss when it comes to marriage and divorce. Marriage is a huge bargain for women and even more to indian women. If you think out of the box, you will know answers and not get stuck with this situation. I am glad that I am in america and not have to deal with social pressure from my community either from family or from friends.

My only concern though is fear of loneliness when I hit 50 or 60. I just don't want to look at others and realise that I did a mistake by not having kids or a stable relationship.

Honestly to me, marriage and kids are not worth it. But I am not sure. Sometimes I feel that I am just running away from responsibilities and selfish that I am not contributing anything back to the society.

I am just confused. But I do agree that interest with women changes after a few years. Its not our fault. Its nature and how male genes work. But society, law do not recognize that.


Hi,

I am American, living in London, but try and keep an open mind. I know lots of South Asian people and how many of them think. They are quick to make value judgements as other people can about other the societies they live in and do very little to fit into their surrounding society, therefore their prejudices get reinforced. Especially conservative Indians would get shocked by what they think they see on the surface and not try to see how things really are. Many children are devoted to their parents, but not out of obligation. And in India the middle class have so many servants that they do not really have to shoulder the burden of caring for their parents, and it is probably not entirely out of love but social obligations.

But now let me answer your real question, I think the vast majority of people whether in the West or in the East just follow life according to a plan, this plan is created by the dominant ideology and its productive forces, do not get me wrong I am quite financially well off and this is not communist bs that I am uttering.

1 Go to College.

2 Get a good middle class Job

3 Get married and have kids.

This is true whether you are East or West. I personally was married once, and got divorced amicably and would look at things more carefully the second time around. People are very judgemental and will tell you to get back on the plan and judge you if you do things different.

A lot of women think you should settle down, because a wealthy man who is not devoted his energy and success to women is wrong.

I get told I should look for a woman at work. I do not like english women and I do not really care how well educated and middle class my woman is.

I would rather have a sex goddess who looks gorgeous naked who also loves me. I am highly educated but I see educated people saying stupid things all the time and I do not value someone's credentials in this regard rather how they think.

So what is marriage for? Nothing in particular, it gives the less wealthy partner the ability to blackmail the hell out the more wealthy one (divorce settlement)

So why would anyone ever get married? Social norms and the power of women in that society to socially pressure you to accept this idiotic bargain.

I would happily live with a woman I truly loved for ever but not marry her, if you really love each other why get married?

If you lose interest in her, I lost interest in my spouse after 7 years or so and she was gorgeous, I heard that after a few years everyone loses interest in who they are having sex with and meet someone else, the marriage will be like a heavy burden around your neck. You can have kids and live with someone and not be married, if you do not want to have kids why get married at all?

I have thought about kids and not being alone when I am old, however you do not want kids at all. Also I realise I have a lot of freedom to do whatever I want, many women have told me this. In that case I value my freedom.

I think you are thinking independently and are questioning the values of the culture you grew up in, so I would not get married, I would keep my options open. I do not think you realise how America entirely works, children love their parents on the most part but there is no socially enforced norm that you have to take care of them directly. And people work and do not have full time servants to take care of their elders.

But many mongers who did get angry with you, would admit that American women are not their cup of tea, so their are seriously wrong things with any country. Everyone loves Ukranian women for example, but the country is totally messed up in many ways.

[Wolvenvacht]

Society, marriage, relationships were all created by sociology folks who wanted to have stability in the society. 500 years ago, these did not existed.So it seems my Roman Law professor at Law School was lying when he explained us about the evolution of marriage laws in Rome under the Kings, the Republic and the Empire.

Get your facts straight before you write something.

[Delta Indigo]

My only concern though is fear of loneliness when I hit 50 or 60. I just don't want to look at others and realise that I did a mistake by not having kids or a stable relationship.

Honestly to me, marriage and kids are not worth it. But I am not sure. Sometimes I feel that I am just running away from responsibilities and selfish that I am not contributing anything back to the society.Like I said you can be a in a stable relationship without getting married. Remember marriage is now guarantee that you will not be alone. Furthermore you can have kids without being married.

Like you yourself said, think outside the box. The evolution of marriage is a complex thing, it was probably not a rationale or systematic things. A lot of institutions and laws in society are not there for rational reasons, rather they evolved for other reasons and are now deeply rooted in society.

I think little was ever done by sociologists, the main power brokers in our society do not really care what sociologists think, especially in the past.

Marriage has existed well over 500 years. I did not do some proper research, but it seems to me more likely that it evolved in small hunter gatherer or agrarian societies as a result of having to cement tribal political and economic alliances.

Look at the royal families of Europe, marriages were arranged for politican allliances and there was little thought given to the wishes of the individuals. In many societies marriage is still is there to enhance economic and social state and is not about love or sexual need.

In our society, unless you are not less financially successful than your spouse, marriage will empower her and leave you worse off.

How do you ever gain by marriage. She can divorce you and claim half your assets in accordance with some arbitrary morally judgemental criteria.

So what you wanted to fuck another girl and did so, big deal. Fall in love, live with a woman and so on, but unless you have to do not marry her.

I can think of only one good reason, if you fall in love with a fantastic supermodel from Ukraine, marry her bring her over here, but make her sign a water tight pre nuptial first.

[Delta Indigo]

Okay,

Before I start, I have to qualify my answer. Marriage is an ancient historical institution and no doubt its original purpose is far different from what it has evolved into.

But guess what guys, one theory says that it is essentially one of the oldest forms of prostitution out there.

"Various cultures have had their own theories on the origin of marriage. One example may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children. He might therefore be willing to pay a bride price or provide for a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access. Legitimacy is the consequence of this transaction rather than its motivation."

This is from the wiki, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage#History_of_marriage_by_culture.

Interesting huh guys, so according to one theory, marriage is a relationship where the working girl has a lot of power and has managed to screw the client totally.

[Bango Cheito]

Okay,

Before I start, I have to qualify my answer. Marriage is an ancient historical institution and no doubt its original purpose is far different from what it has evolved into.

But guess what guys, one theory says that it is essentially one of the oldest forms of prostitution out there.

"Various cultures have had their own theories on the origin of marriage. One example may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children. He might therefore be willing to pay a bride price or provide for a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access. Legitimacy is the consequence of this transaction rather than its motivation."

This is from the wiki,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage

#History_of_marriage_by_culture.

Interesting huh guys, so according to one theory, marriage is a relationship where the working girl has a lot of power and has managed to screw the client totally.I don't think women were EVER faithful to men. Marriage existed in the ancient world (but almost certianly NOT in Neo and Paleolithic socities) , but not as we see it today. The idea that marriage really implies sexual exclusivity on BOTH parts is maybe 200 years old at MOST.

[Member #4480]

Did you wear your pointed little hat while you was writing this?Yes, and please thank the Queen again for the gift. She has a much smaller sized hat all wrapped up and ready for you, but can't seem to locate the right Mombasa who*rehouse to ship it to. Please advise...

[Praj4]

I don't think women were EVER faithful to men. Marriage existed in the ancient world (but almost certianly NOT in Neo and Paleolithic socities) , but not as we see it today. The idea that marriage really implies sexual exclusivity on BOTH parts is maybe 200 years old at MOST.My a few cents.

1] Female never have to worry about whether their genes are being handed down to next generation or not while Men are always in doubt about whose genes are being transmitted down the line. Hence the proverb.Paternity is always in suspect while maternity is never! Obviously therefore concept of 'Faithfullness alias Morality " has been borne out of man's brain and never female's!

2] Marriage as an institution has borne out of economic necessity I. E economic method of providing sex and security!

[Zla Zena]

Many mongers are married but nonetheless still tippy toe in the paid pussy market for strange ass. This of course brings its own unique challenges and consequences that merit a dedicated thread of discussion. I would like mongers who are married, divorced or single to post their views, experiences, and advice on this topic. The idea for this thread came about after reading posts from more than one married monger in a crisis in the past week. Hopefully, the information posted here will help married, or soon to be married, mongers headed for or already in a crisis.I am married. And not really going for the paid pussy. As I usually get it for free. But then again, I'm a woman, it is maybe a litle easier to get free pussy, when you have one your self. My husband havn't had any paid-for-pussy in the 8 years we have been together, but he has had plenty of pussy. And not only mine. Most of the pussy we share together. It is always more fun doing things like a couple.

We have no secrets, no lies. Nothing under the table. Honesty from day one. But we do fuck when the people we like to fuck. And we also from time to time fall in love. And it's ok. I know he is not going anywhere. He knows I'm not going anywhere, and the occanionaly adventure just means we are still alive.

We are going on a trip on Sunday. And plan on trying to get our first monger-experience!

[Wolvenvacht]

Hence the proverb.Paternity is always in suspect while maternity is never!Pater est quem nuptiae demonstrant. Mater semper certa est. (Dig. 2,4. 5)


Marriage as an institution has borne out of economic necessity I. E economic method of providing sex and security!I am not sure it was out of economic necessity. Monogamy is now held to have an evolutionary reason. Monogamous relationships simply had more chance of having more and "better" (in the biological and evolutionary sense) children; more adapted to survival it seems. Also, monogamy caused a more egalitarian distribution of women over society as a whole (as compared to societies which allow polygamy) and that makes society as a whole less aggressive and provides greater net benefits for society at large by reducing social problems that are inherent in polygynous societies. So the inveterate polygamists simply dwindled to inconsequence in the general populace.

Marriage on the other hand, has always been an economic institution. The idea of the romantic marriage ("you marry the one you love") is late XIX century. Unfortunately most of our marriage laws have not been adapted and when things go wrong and love disappears only the economic aspects remain (as no doubt anyone who went through a messy and expensive divorce will confirm).

[Bango Cheito]

Pater est quem nuptiae demonstrant. Mater semper certa est. (Dig. 2,4. 5)

I am not sure it was out of economic necessity. Monogamy is now held to have an evolutionary reason. Monogamous relationships simply had more chance of having more and "better" (in the biological and evolutionary sense) children; more adapted to survival it seems. Also, monogamy caused a more egalitarian distribution of women over society as a whole (as compared to societies which allow polygamy) and that makes society as a whole less aggressive and provides greater net benefits for society at large by reducing social problems that are inherent in polygynous societies. So the inveterate polygamists simply dwindled to inconsequence in the general populace.

Marriage on the other hand, has always been an economic institution. The idea of the romantic marriage ("you marry the one you love") is late XIX century. Unfortunately most of our marriage laws have not been adapted and when things go wrong and love disappears only the economic aspects remain (as no doubt anyone who went through a messy and expensive divorce will confirm).I think the exact opposite, monogamy, along with pacificsm and egalitarianism and vegetarianism and reliance on technology are the biggest DEVOLUTIONARY forces this worls has ever known.

How is a woman being reserved for the seed of just ONE man biologically a superior strategy? If that ONE man has a motility problem the woman doesn't get to breed. As a matter of fact a woman's reproductive system is DESIGNED for there to be more than one load of sperm up in there. Read the book "Sperm Wars" it's a real eye opener.

I do think marriage benefits the betas of BOTH sexes in society, it gives the beta males a chance to at least have some vagina where they otherwise might be out in the cold if it were more based on mutual attraction, and perhaps even the beta females enjoy the same advantage for the same reasons! But that's one of my many problems with it, it's a "skill equalizaer", it reduces the relevance of the alphas in society when the alphas are the ones doing all the creating and inventing and moving things forward!

[Jp Slicky]

My name is Slicky and I am a 'Married Monger'

'Hello Slicky'

This is my story.

I was married in 1995 to a Japanese woman. I have two kids, one boy and one girl and now live in Tokyo, Japan for at least 19 years total.

As married man in the early years sex was not a problem between the both of us, and my wife had no problems running around the house naked which I did not mind provided no one else was around. We had sex before marriage, and it slowly dwindled down to nothing for the past 2 years. About a year ago, I went to put a smelly dish rag in the wash machine and open the door to the room, and she was naked and started to scream and tell me to get the hell out. I have not seen her tits or pussy in over two years now. Every time she takes a bath with me present, she slams the door to the bathroom area, but she is ok with daughter seeing her. I never ever sexually abused her!

Sex really dwindling down to nothing especially since Sept. 2008 when I was laid off and not able to find work here in Japan. Sex went from less frequent, to not allowing certain fore play to not even touching my hard-on and to those terrible words during sex 'Hurry up'. Now I have not even seen her naked body in over a year. Many times I would give her a full body massage and she would cover up her tits or became too sleepy to want to do it with me.

Then. The Electric Boyfriend came into her life. Here, I was out there teaching English (I consider myself a professional in another area unrelated and better paid) there she was at home sleeping and having rounds with electric boyfriend. Why do I know? I placed the cord in a certain way and remember how it was. I come home from teaching brats and look in the drawer where it was always kept, and the cord moved or placed in the drawer differently. Therefore she wanted Electric boyfriend more than me. I kept thinking that I would take a wire cutters to the cord but did not. I came home one day and looked and she did it herself. She bitched often about me not having a decent job and no or low income, but when I went out and done what was available to me, she is at home going rounds with Electric Boyfriend. Talk about hurt.

My first monger experience was in on a Shanghi Biz trip in June. 2006. I went to a local bar not knowing later on I would bring home two Chinese ladies for a romp. Now combined with biz trips and trips paid for on my own, I have mongered in Philippines, Singapore Malaysia China, and Thailand. I lost count of how many I have done for P4P, but it is under 80 I am sure. (All my threesomes have been the worse) Many of the self paid trips were secret. She thought I was somewhere in Japan on business but in reality I was in Philippine or Thailand playing John Holmes. The action is so stupid and expensive here in Japan, but lately I have been thinking of trying it. I also plan my next trip to Philippine in Sept 2012. I had a account on Filipina Heart and DIA where I was going nothing but getting out there and meeting others. I no longer care what she would think, I just care about going again. If I can get a week off from work, I use it to monger somewhere in SE Asia.

Now, I have absolutely no regrets about mongering behind her back and use household funds to do it. And am to the point that I really don't care if she catches me or not. The main reason I am still here shacked up with this woman is for the sake of the kids, but even that thinking is beginning to wane since I can no longer stand being here in Japan.

We had plans to buy a house and settle in the US. The money would come from my saving and hard work and miser lifestyle before and little bit after I met her. So I am the one that had a bank account but she had not even so much as saved 10 yen. Just before my second one was born, I was in the States trying to reestablish myself there and had the funds to do it. She had second thoughts and fudged at the idea of living in the USA. We already went through the shit to get her Green Card. I now realized that life in USA was not going to happen. I gave up my dreams to buy a house in USA and concentrated on family stability by moving back to Japan and I found a job that permitted me to do so that, and we bought a 56sqr meter (550sq feet) condo for 325K US $. Now I have hardly any room here with two kids. And I have to put up without having the things in life that I would have in the states. Kids have no want to learn English.

Now this woman lays around in bed, watches TV goes out to meet her friends or sister for whatever reasons, but most of all she does not keep the house clean or throw out shit. Many times she does not make dinner for me and even the kids. As I type this she is over there on the floor doing fucking nothing.

I would be glad to fill in more details if you have questions or comments. Cut me off? Then I monger.

[Delta Indigo]

My name is Slicky and I am a 'Married Monger'

'Hello Slicky'

Now this woman lays around in bed, watches TV goes out to meet her friends or sister for whatever reasons, but most of all she does not keep the house clean or throw out shit. Many times she does not make dinner for me and even the kids. As I type this she is over there on the floor doing fucking nothing.

I would be glad to fill in more details if you have questions or comments. Cut me off? Then I monger.Hi Slicky,

I was married too. But the girl was fantastic as a person but just didn't light my fire sexually. Do you still have a lot of savings? Can you move it to a US bank account and then start divorce proceedings? You are giving up years of your life for a horrible spouse.

The kids know when their parents are not getting along so I think it is for the better if you move on. She sees your value as a provider and does not actually love you, that is horrible. Get rid of her and move on, divide up the house and so on. Probably easier said than done.

In Japan can a husband divorce a spouse for sexually abandoning him, you can do this in many countries, I realise the legal system there is super biased against non Japanese.

[HectorSanchez]

Don't you realize this women hates you? She is intelligent enough not to make you realize.

You sacrificed your country, worked like a donkey to make very bit of dollar, went through green card which she doesn't give shit, tried to atrophy your balls denying sex and Cheated on you.

we have 2 options.

Best would be to divorce.

Next would be to make her realize how best asset you have been. She better realize it befor it's too late. I think she has come a long way and would be very resistant to change though.

When there are 1000 of young pretty girls around who actually value your time, why would you invest in giving her free massage or want to see her naked body?

QUOTE=Jp Slicky; 1307950]My name is Slicky and I am a 'Married Monger'

'Hello Slicky'

This is my story.

I was married in 1995 to a Japanese woman. I have two kids, one boy and one girl and now live in Tokyo, Japan for at least 19 years total.

As married man in the early years sex was not a problem between the both of us, and my wife had no problems running around the house naked which I did not mind provided no one else was around. We had sex before marriage, and it slowly dwindled down to nothing for the past 2 years. About a year ago, I went to put a smelly dish rag in the wash machine and open the door to the room, and she was naked and started to scream and tell me to get the hell out. I have not seen her tits or pussy in over two years now. Every time she takes a bath with me present, she slams the door to the bathroom area, but she is ok with daughter seeing her. I never ever sexually abused her!

Sex really dwindling down to nothing especially since Sept. 2008 when I was laid off and not able to find work here in Japan. Sex went from less frequent, to not allowing certain fore play to not even touching my hard-on and to those terrible words during sex 'Hurry up'. Now I have not even seen her naked body in over a year. Many times I would give her a full body massage and she would cover up her tits or became too sleepy to want to do it with me.

Then. The Electric Boyfriend came into her life. Here, I was out there teaching English (I consider myself a professional in another area unrelated and better paid) there she was at home sleeping and having rounds with electric boyfriend. Why do I know? I placed the cord in a certain way and remember how it was. I come home from teaching brats and look in the drawer where it was always kept, and the cord moved or placed in the drawer differently. Therefore she wanted Electric boyfriend more than me. I kept thinking that I would take a wire cutters to the cord but did not. I came home one day and looked and she did it herself. She bitched often about me not having a decent job and no or low income, but when I went out and done what was available to me, she is at home going rounds with Electric Boyfriend. Talk about hurt.

My first monger experience was in on a Shanghi Biz trip in June. 2006. I went to a local bar not knowing later on I would bring home two Chinese ladies for a romp. Now combined with biz trips and trips paid for on my own, I have mongered in Philippines, Singapore Malaysia China, and Thailand. I lost count of how many I have done for P4P, but it is under 80 I am sure. (All my threesomes have been the worse) Many of the self paid trips were secret. She thought I was somewhere in Japan on business but in reality I was in Philippine or Thailand playing John Holmes. The action is so stupid and expensive here in Japan, but lately I have been thinking of trying it. I also plan my next trip to Philippine in Sept 2012. I had a account on Filipina Heart and DIA where I was going nothing but getting out there and meeting others. I no longer care what she would think, I just care about going again. If I can get a week off from work, I use it to monger somewhere in SE Asia.

Now, I have absolutely no regrets about mongering behind her back and use household funds to do it. And am to the point that I really don't care if she catches me or not. The main reason I am still here shacked up with this woman is for the sake of the kids, but even that thinking is beginning to wane since I can no longer stand being here in Japan.

We had plans to buy a house and settle in the US. The money would come from my saving and hard work and miser lifestyle before and little bit after I met her. So I am the one that had a bank account but she had not even so much as saved 10 yen. Just before my second one was born, I was in the States trying to reestablish myself there and had the funds to do it. She had second thoughts and fudged at the idea of living in the USA. We already went through the shit to get her Green Card. I now realized that life in USA was not going to happen. I gave up my dreams to buy a house in USA and concentrated on family stability by moving back to Japan and I found a job that permitted me to do so that, and we bought a 56sqr meter (550sq feet) condo for 325K US $. Now I have hardly any room here with two kids. And I have to put up without having the things in life that I would have in the states. Kids have no want to learn English.

Now this woman lays around in bed, watches TV goes out to meet her friends or sister for whatever reasons, but most of all she does not keep the house clean or throw out shit. Many times she does not make dinner for me and even the kids. As I type this she is over there on the floor doing fucking nothing.

I would be glad to fill in more details if you have questions or comments. Cut me off? Then I monger.[/QUOTE]

[Chocha Monger]

Slicky,

It seems like you've gotten yourself in quite a mess. There is really only one way out of this. Forget about divorce. It will only give her a chance to clean your clock and cause you distress. The kids will pick up on her scorn for you. They will grow to hate you too. She will make sure of that if she hasn't already done so. You need to go out with style. Slicky, you must forget all that is dear to you and run away! Transfer all of your money to an offshore account. Don't say any goodbyes or give any explanations. Just wait for a moment when you are alone for just long enough to grab your documents and only the clothes you can carry. Forget about Japan. Forget about the US, with a green card she can pursue there and financially castrate you in divorce court. Board a flight for some other country and start your life over. Eventually, your wife will figure out that she has to get up from floor and do something. The trash certainly will not be taking itself out.

[Delta Indigo]

Slicky,

It seems like you've gotten yourself in quite a mess. There is really only one way out of this. Forget about divorce. It will only give her a chance to clean your clock and cause you distress. The kids will pick up on her scorn for you. They will grow to hate you too. She will make sure of that if she hasn't already done so. You need to go out with style. Slicky, you must forget all that is dear to you and run away! Transfer all of your money to an offshore account. Don't say any goodbyes or give any explanations. Just wait for a moment when you are alone for just long enough to grab your documents and only the clothes you can carry. Forget about Japan. Forget about the US, with a green card she can pursue there and financially castrate you in divorce court. Board a flight for some other country and start your life over. Eventually, your wife will figure out that she has to get up from floor and do something. The trash certainly will not be taking itself out.Greencards expire unless you visit the US at least once a year and if you are abroad more than 6 months they can give you grief. Anyhow it does not seem that this woman has the wherewithal to follow Slicky.

Slicky has to go somewhere where he can rebuild his life, and home is a good place for that.

Slicky running away can be disastrous, I would first try to figure out what the divorce courts in Japan would give you, do you get half the house, then divorce. Otherwise I would pack up all my savings and maybe leave, but I would really try out the divorce option first.

Divorces take time, if she really does not love you anymore maybe she will welcome a divorce and it will be amicable.

Or in Japan if sexual abandonment is the grounds for a divorce it can work out for you.

I divorced my ex amicably, neither of us needed a lawyer, the whole thing cost $600. So maybe the same can happen. It does not sound like that, but besides the 0 sex, how is she as a person, does she try to be fair? Sex becomes stale in many loving relationships, like my marriage.

Anyhow either way, divorce or running away I would get out of the situation.

[Bareback Jack]

the kids will pick up on her scorn for you. they will grow to hate you too. she will make sure of that if she hasn't already done so. you need to go out with style. slicky, you must forget all that is dear to you and run away!chocha, you certainly got a point there. my first wife tried to turn my daughter against me and, unsurprisingly at the age of 11 it did work for a while. however, if you do show your kids that you care this strategy doesn't work for ever. at some point in their life they develop the ability to make their own judgment. my ex has certainly damaged the relationship between myself and my daughter, but as years go by its getting better again. if on the other hand you just run away, you will give those kids a reason to hate.

having said that, i can admit that, if i had walked out of my first marriage early enough, there wouldn't have been that bitterness and we might have been able to settle things amicably. it was disastrous. if there was an oscar for a nagging queen, she'd have won it hands down. the divorce took almost 3 years and to speed things up in the end i just agreed to leave her everything i had and started over again.

with my second wife things were totally different. when i started divorcing her we had already agreed on everything beforehand. it took six months only and we agreed on child support only for my son (a reasonable amount). she had no problems whatsoever to realise that she needs to do her own thing to support herself. there was no money exchanged between the two of us. we are still best friends to date.

[Chocha Monger]

Jhack,

Slicky's wife doesn't seem to be the amicable sort. There is a good chance that things could turn nasty if he announced his intentions to take his money and part ways with her while living in the condo. If she is as lazy as he said then she is unlikely to take the prospect of her cash cow walking off the farm calmly. He hasn't seen her beaver in over 2 years. It's hard to see how he owes her anything. He is not close to his kids and they have no interest in learning his native language or culture. Slicky is an outsider in his own home. The best he can do now is try to save whatever is left of his life before it's too late. There is nothing honorable in sticking around for a divorce. Any interest he has left in the condo can be counted as his contribution to the kids. The only other option is for him to continue the charade in misery while mongering in secret.

[Jp Slicky]

Gentleman,

Most sincere thanks to all kind folks that contributed to a reply of my posting. I purposely waited to reply till I get any response.

As I write this, it is 9:35AM on a Friday JP time. Wifey is sleeping, I guess a rough night of watching TV with the kids, and this morning too has tuckered the poor sole out. (I work from home most the time). Guess what, the house is a shit-hole and yesterday's laundry which I did is still sitting in the middle of the floor. Hey she did make dinner. Packaged curry and rice. I just took video with my pen camera, and it gives a look at my place and you can see wifey sleeping. Not sure where or how I could post the video it if anyone is interested and to see if I speak with fork tongue or not, Time stamped with computer and view outside. Sorry obviously no nudes LOL.

I must say Chocha Monger, your last posting could not of hit the nail on the head any harder. 'Being an outsider in my own home' is nuts on. I surely am an outsider here in Jp too. Yesterday I had a falling out over the phone about paying National health insurance premium to the Jp gov. Now I am not opposed to paying it, just paying for her share. And paying taxes so I can live in this wonderful situation. Don't get me too wrong though, Japan does have some good things I like.

OK the fallout yesterday.

During the fallout wifey was staying at mom's place for the nights the kids were not at home. I asked my daughter to come home because I have something I wanted her to do. (I wanted her to hand carry the money I was holding out on to wifey is all I wanted her to do) I asked her in a normal voice to come but yes I was pissed. She either would not or wifey was holding her from doing that. This hurt because my daughter did not trust me enough to just come home as I requested, she was worried about me and what I might do. They kept calling and asking me why should she should come, and I said I will tell her when she gets here. At no time in the past have I ever done anything to my daughter to hurt her. We play cards color in color books, go to McD, buy secret chocolates blah blah blah, I help her to find data and use the Inet to find. I can say without hesitation, I am a cool dad. This one I thought was the one reason I should stay in Japan, But. Now no longer so sure. When they did come home. Wifey asked for the money and I ask daughter to come over to me and put the backpack on her and bring this to mom (about three steps). The rest of the day, my daughter would not even come around me. I do understand through this whole thing that wifey was filling daughter full of shit. Turning my daughter against me? Dam right!

To divorce or not to divorce?

Right now my plan is that I will wait for the company I work for to not renew the contract and proceed then. This is because at 53, I would no longer be able to find work, in this country they can discriminate and get away with it. There is no push to hire foreigners here as there once was. This is when I make my break, and proceed make my exit. Because if I do this, then I fulfilled everything as a father and have good excuse to bail. Teach English? Not on yer friggen life. Though my various efforts, I have not been able to sell their product in Japan.

Just leaving seems a good option.

I will give this some more thought on. All the accounts with any money in them are in my name some moving is not a problem. If I leave this place, it will develop some electrical problems she will not have the money to pay for. Never fuck over an Electrician, you may find yerself in the dark or the refrigerator may stop working. LOL.

Yes I got myself in a mess.

However I did it as a caring father and husband at the time. Agreeing to buy this place without me hardly even seeing it, was the worse move I ever made. Hind sight is better than fore sight I think the saying is. All I wanted was stability and respect and got neither. I am an outsider now. Chocha Monger is correct that she would not be the amicable sort.

I leave my pen here, LOL for now.

Warm regards to all and stay lucky.

[Bango Cheito]

I agree with the board here. I left my baby momma 8 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. I miss the hell out of them sometimes but if I had stayed with her and continued to put up with her shit, my kids right now would not respect me and love me the way they do!

[Hedonian]

Slicky,

Your story is remarkable in many ways. Thank you for sharing it with us. You walked us through your life as in a movie but not a Hollywood crap with some drama in between and the happy end. Your story is the more common one, how people wrap themselves up in complexities of life with all best intentions and hopes with no good options left available. Your biggest issue are children, and your admirable intent to protect and provide for them.

I hope you get some value out of our posts, if nothing else, at least support that someone cares of what you are going through.

In my experience I have seen very few multicultural successful and happy marriages. Things that are intriguing and novelty at the beginning wear off over time. That same is for marriages from two very different socioeconomic groups in one culture.

Have you thought about being more demanding and putting your house in order? How about that you introduce new set of house rules, where whoever is going to live together must abide by certain rules. If she does not work and bring in money she sure has to do something else like do food, dishes, laundry, clean house and take care of kids. You set rule that everyone must get up at 8:30 at latest and if they don't you wake them up. Other option is to push her to find work, demand to do that. Also, demand sex, if you so desire.

By rattling things up and demonstrating that you are not kidding about it you could provoke one of two things, she either submits herself to duties that you define or it will escalate and end up in divorce. But in the worst case you are the man who demanded order in your house, your wife did not provide it and your only option was divorce. That is a lot better then just walking out of the home leaving your kids puzzled and to the life long feeling of abandonment.

Prepare yourself mentally for conflict and be prepared to provide leadership, that is maybe what she is looking for in addition to your money. Just be prepared not to give up on it, you must go to the end until there is some resolution, either she changes her ways or you are out.

I think you cannot avoid conflict and that will either work things in your favor or at least bring things to the end. You have nothing out of posting video of your wife sleeping and the house in the mess. You may get our empathy and understanding but that is no value to you.

Don't be afraid of conflict. It is good to clear things out when they are too stale.

H

[Double Shooter]

Slicky,

Have you thought about being more demanding and putting your house in order? How about that you introduce new set of house rules, where whoever is going to live together must abide by certain rules. If she does not work and bring in money she sure has to do something else like do food, dishes, laundry, clean house and take care of kids. You set rule that everyone must get up at 8:30 at latest and if they don't you wake them up. Other option is to push her to find work, demand to do that. Also, demand sex, if you so desire.

By rattling things up and demonstrating that you are not kidding about it you could provoke one of two things, she either submits herself to duties that you define or it will escalate and end up in divorce. But in the worst case you are the man who demanded order in your house, your wife did not provide it and your only option was divorce. That is a lot better then just walking out of the home leaving your kids puzzled and to the life long feeling of abandonment.

HExcellent advice, not only for this sorry-assed sucker but for many other situations. It's amazing how many people put up passively with [CodeWord140] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord140)-poor performance!

[KaveMan]

a huge % of members here are actually still married in sexless marriages and refuse to end them!

over, on the moscow forum there are a number of american guys celebrating their 20th, 30th, even 40th anniversary to a woman they no longer have sex with.

its really bizarre, these guys are either financially unable to leave these women (ie, divorce is too expensive? are supported by them or are terrified of facing loneliness every-night coming home to talk to no-one, have no prepared food, or clean clothes / linens?

i don't understand it? i get societal pressure; but, after your kids are gone, does it really matter to your neighbor or boss that your not married to some old woman?

the standard answer i always hear is "oh we are together for the companionship, that will come in old age". i have news for them, your spouse will be not changing [CodeWord131] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord131) or bedpans, once your money or health ends.

lots of older gentleman i know say "only person who will take care of you is you!

reality, is you can always attract a female (and hire cooks, maids, nurses for less than a wife) if your in a dead-end marriage; and few of the mongers on this board realize that; and subside on random monger trips.

[Chocha Monger]

Alimony killed Robin Williams! He had paid over $30 million to his two ex-wives in alimony payments and was sued for $6.2 million by a cocktail waitress he gave a healthy dose of herpes in her snatch while cheating on his first wife. Williams loved pussy and did not limit himself to fucking cocktail waitresses. During his first marriage, he also fucked the live-in Filipina nanny. It really pissed his wife off and she divorced his ass. Williams did not miss a beat and married the nanny. The years went by the nanny grew fat and ugly driving Williams back to his love affair with Jack Daniels and cocaine. His Filipina nanny wife responded by divorcing his ass and taking him for all he was worth because he never had a pre-nup in any of his marriages.

With his career in decline Robin Williams was finding it increasingly difficult to carry the burden of alimony for life. He was already sleeping in different bedrooms with the wife in his third marriage. He realized that the only way out was death. So, he put a belt around his neck and cancelled his alimony payments permanently.

A lot of married mongers are in a similar place. They know the alimony will kill them, so they are stuck in loveless sexless marriages. They are terrified at the prospect of spending their retirement years eating generic catfood and stale bread. The wife has the power to put them in the poorhouse and this keeps married mongers in line. Sure, they can sneak out and purchase pussy under false pretense but eventually they must go home to mamma to enjoy the companionship and keep up the appearances of a happy marriage. To the casual observer it appears senseless but in reality it makes sense. Those mongers are locked in for life unless they opt out like Robin Williams.

[Screaming Beaver]

Alimony killed Robin Williams! He had paid over $30 million to his two ex-wives in alimony payments and was sued for $6.2 million by a cocktail waitress he gave a healthy dose of herpes in her snatch while cheating on his first wife. Williams loved pussy and did not limit himself to fucking cocktail waitresses. During his first marriage, he also fucked the live-in Filipina nanny. It really pissed his wife off and she divorced his ass. Williams did not miss a beat and married the nanny. The years went by the nanny grew fat and ugly driving Williams back to his love affair with Jack Daniels and cocaine. His Filipina nanny wife responded by divorcing his ass and taking him for all he was worth because he never had a pre-nup in any of his marriages.

With his career in decline Robin Williams was finding it increasingly difficult to carry the burden of alimony for life. He was already sleeping in different bedrooms with the wife in his third marriage. He realized that the only way out was death. So, he put a belt around his neck and cancelled his alimony payments permanently...Robin Williams was a national treasure however being a monger at heart he was mostly unable to fulfill his desire to hop on an airplane to Angeles City or any other mongering location just to go bang beaver. His problem was he was too famous and would instantly be recognized. You combine that with 3 money grubbing women who wanted nothing more than to drag him down and take as much money in the process it's no wonder he was in and out of rehab. I hope he infected all of his 3 ex's with herpes of the anus for causing him to take such a drastic measure to do away with his problems mostly caused by those 3 swines.

[KaveMan]

A lot of married mongers are in a similar place. They know the alimony will kill them, so they are stuck in loveless sexless marriages. They are terrified at the prospect of spending their retirement years eating generic catfood and stale bread. The wife has the power to put them in the poorhouse and this keeps married mongers in line. Sure, they can sneak out and purchase pussy under false pretense but eventually they must go home to mamma to enjoy the companionship and keep up the appearances of a happy marriage. To the casual observer it appears senseless but in reality it makes sense. Those mongers are locked in for life unless they opt out like Robin Williams.Sorry these Mongers are total pussies!

You can divorce and pay zero alimony.

Declare bankruptcy, change your name, change your SSN, and move.

There are plenty of countries with zero diplomatic relations with USA who would love an "American Consultant" to help them.

There are books, blogs, forums, lawyers, etc to do this. If your saying these monger prefer watching TV, eating fast food and staring at an obese wife and 1 mongering trip / year then then they have no one to blame but themselves.

To live in a prison is for lazy or stupid.

[TellAll]

Excellent advice, not only for this sorry-assed sucker but for many other situations. It's amazing how many people put up passively with [CodeWord140] (http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord140)-poor performance!Way to late for that now. The time for that was when it first start happening. That woman is dug in now and the kids are on her side.

Dump them all and go start a new life.

[TellAll]

Sorry these Mongers are total pussies!

You can divorce and pay zero alimony.

Declare bankruptcy, change your name, change your SSN, and move.

There are plenty of countries with zero diplomatic relations with USA who would love an "American Consultant" to help them.

There are books, blogs, forums, Lawyers, etc to do this. If your saying these monger prefer watching TV, eating fast food and staring at an obese wife and 1 mongering trip / year then then they have no one to blame but themselves.

To live in a prison is for lazy or stupid.Agree. First they fall for the myth, love til death do us part. They don't protect their finances and surprised when their tired old hag shows here true colors.

There is always a way to get out of a relationship like that with minimal damage. First is to get out at first sign of trouble. Don't do counseling or waist your time with other fixes. All that does is keep you there longer and make leaving more expensive. If you spend ten twenty or thirty years in a bad marraige then only you to blame. Who would spend ten years in a dead end job?

Get out early, get out fast first sign of trouble.

[Strong Bad]

After reading a couple of posts in this thread I would like to share this video I stumbled across on youtube. Its a video of a woman asking the world to feel sorry for her because she went through a divorce. The thing I found interesting is that through out the video she keeps saying her memory is bad, so basically she's saying she is lying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGe4uWEvwe8

[Chocha Monger]

A lot of married mongers are running for the hills due to the fallout from the Ashley Madison (AM) data breach disaster. AM promised these guys discretion and pleasure but left them with their balls firmly in the vise grip of their vengeful wives. The saddest part of the whole fiasco is that they will be down on their knees begging forgiveness for trying to cheat when in reality they never stood a chance of getting laid. Over 90% of the female profiles on the site were fakes and the ratio of men to women was 6:1. That means the better looking women on there probably had over a hundred guys trying to bang them on any given day. AM figured out how to make millions of horny sexually frustrated married men pay hundreds of dollars each just for a slim chance that they might get laid and it profited nicely from it. There is talk of suing the company but there probably wouldn't be a lot of married mongers willing to show up in court.

[KyleThompson]

A lot of married mongers are running for the hills due to the fallout from the Ashley Madison (AM) data breach disaster. AM promised these guys discretion and pleasure but left them with their balls firmly in the vise grip of their vengeful wives. The saddest part of the whole fiasco is that they will be down on their knees begging forgiveness for trying to cheat when in reality they never stood a chance of getting laid. Over 90% of the female profiles on the site were fakes and the ratio of men to women was 6:1. That means the better looking women on there probably had over a hundred guys trying to bang them on any given day. AM figured out how to make millions of horny sexually frustrated married men pay hundreds of dollars each just for a slim chance that they might get laid and it profited nicely from it. There is talk of suing the company but there probably wouldn't be a lot of married mongers willing to show up in court.Well, I did have a profile on Ashley Madison once, but when realized I had to pay to read private messages, I shut the account down without having used the site. However, I've been sent e-mails from different addresses saying that they had my personal data and that they would reveal it if I don't pay 1 bitcoin in 3 days.

This was the original message:

Unfortunately your data was leaked in the recent hacking of Ashley Madison and I know have your information. I have also used your user profile to find your Facebook page, using this I can now message all of your friends and family members.

If you would like to prevent me from sharing this dirt info with all of your friends and family members (and perhaps even your employers too?) then you need to send 1 bitcoin to the following BTC address.

Bitcoin Address:

1 JeDGwyWQpuQZE6 mfj2 M7 M1 BWuAoLG4 tE3.

You may be wondering why should you and what will prevent other people from doing the same, in short you now know to change your privacy settings in Facebook so no one can view your friends / family list. So go ahead and update that now (I have a copy if you don't pay) to stop any future emails like this.

You can buy bitcoin using online exchanges easily. If the bitcoin is not paid within 3 days of 25 Sep 2015 then my system will automatically message all of your friends and family members. The bitcoin address is unique to you.

Consider how expensive a divorce lawyer is. If you are no longer in a committed relationship then think about how this will affect your social standing amongst family and friends. What will your friends and family think about you?

Sincerely,

Karen.

It's been a couple of weeks since I got the e-mails and I'm still alive. Whatever, I don't even have Facebook. I am not worried, but I wonder if somebody took this threat for seriousand paid.

[Chocha Monger]

Japanese women seem very prone to philandering and the men say mongering is just like going to a restaurant for a meal and service. So, mongers might want to expat in Japan and marry there if they don't mind being cuckolded in order to have access to all the loose women. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENscSDOsodE.

[Chocha Monger]

A British man ran away from his home and lived in the woods for 10 years all because his wife nagged him too much.

Malcolm Applegate, 62, of Birmingham, opened up about his new life and his old one in a blog entry posted on the Emmaus Greenwich website. Emmaus is a "homeless charity" that gives people a home "for as long as someone needs it and meaningful work in our social enterprise," according to its website.

Applegate wrote he was a gardener for 25 years and enjoyed his job until he got married. He wrote the more hours he worked, the "angrier" his spouse became.

"She didn't like me being out of the house for long periods of time. The controlling behavior started to get out of hand and she demanded that I cut my hours," Applegate wrote.

After he tried to work it out with his wife, Applegate wrote he left without saying anything to anyone. For a decade.

The gardener wrote he lived in the woods near Kingston for five years and tended a garden at a community center for the elderly. Applegate decided to apply to live at Emmaus Greenwich after a friend told him about it.

Applegate reported he was happy in his new home and recently got in touch with his sister, who thought he was dead.

"I'the like the people who donate to Emmaus to know that I am grateful for being given a second chance at life. I have a lovely room, I am able to work and I can still lead an active social life I love it here my life is officially back on track," Applegate wrote.

His wife, who was not named, has not come forward to comment on her husband's new life, Yahoo reported.

[Tagalog2016]

That's very interesting thread indeed. And I was thrilled reading it from the beginning up to the last post. Now I will tell my point of view, which is somewhat similar with some posters and opposite to others.

I believe, that if to generalise, a man is seeking three basic things from a woman: love, sex, and friendship. Those guys, who thought they found all those things in one woman, got married. They were thinking it will last like that forever. That was very wrong to think so.

Real friendship requires time and both you and your lifemate must overpass together a lot of obstacles and challenges which life gives us to be sure whether a human is your best friend or just a piece a cr#p. You never know in advance. Only being together for over decade or even decades you can make a right conclusion. Some of us became disappointed in this regard, bot others learnt in time, that fat old wife, who became like that eventually, still is much more reliable, than anybody else on this earth. So opposite opinions could appear, because you never know in advance who is who.

Let's define the word "love" now. It is a feeling, which takes your breath away, when grass looks greener and sun shines warmer. When you are in love, you loose an ability to think soberly. And that is one of the strongest feelings ever. That's how word "love" could be defined by some people. But in my opinion that is wrong definition. I would call it passion and infatuation, which some of us mix up with love. Infatuation can't last for long. Sooner or later it fades away and eventually will be completely gone.

Now some words regarding sex. An instinct which drives us crazy to pump a hotty. When you are in love, I mean under the influence of infatuation, you could mistakenly think that just one single pussy could substitute multiple ones. Later on, when infatuation is gone already, you understand that it was just delusion. Wife gets old and she doesn't attract you sexually anymore. And you become a monger.

Actually that is how everything happens. That is how all a wife, a mistress and prostitutes can exist in your life at the same time. They are not a substitute one to each other. They are additions one to each other, which make you feel complete.

A right wife is your life mate, your partner and best friend. Some disagree, but that is understandable. They just haven't met a right one. And since you never know in advance who is who, it's like a lottery, whether your wife will become your best friend in time, or opposite you will hate her as soon as your passion and her appearance fade away.

A mistress reminds you a feeling of a butterflies in your stomach. She could seem a true friend and a great lover, but in fact you are just under the influence of infatuation, which makes you feel so.

But girls. Well, they freeze the time. You are forever young and so they are. To be a monger is just a basic instinct of a male. You would want to get a sweet tight wet pussy for free of course, but that's unreal and you are willing to pay for that. Just so that to stick your dick in delicious meat.

The question is how to deal with all of that? How to combine everything? And the answer is simple: there is no way to do that without lie, betrayal or compromises. Everyone decides for himself, whether to be unfaithful, to divorce for the sake of immediate and short time pleasure, or to fight your lust and to jerk off watching porn. There is no right answer exist what should you sacrifice. Everyone has his unique features and circumstances.

[XMen2099]

My opinion, being truthful to our partner that is very important to keep the relationship steady. At first it would be awkward but better than she knows later that you have been with other women behind her back.

[Chocha Monger]

My opinion, being truthful to our partner that is very important to keep the relationship steady. At first it would be awkward but better than she knows later that you have been with other women behind her back.It sounds like a nice principled idea, until she uses it against you divorce court. Unless you have a written prenuptial agreement permitting you to fuck other women, your dick will be writing a check that you can't cash.

[Hargow20]

I don't necessarily have any problems so long as one does not let it interfere your marriage. The problem is that there there is far fewer working girls so you would cruise at odd times to find a SW. This is especially true in the on the US west coast. You essentially have to cruise late evening or late at night. Trying to explain to your wife why you are out a 10 pm or 2 am would be almost impossible. Back in the 80's I could find a good SW day or night. Sadly this is no longer true.

[Oiste]

That's very interesting thread indeed. And I was thrilled reading it from the beginning up to the last post. Now I will tell my point of view, which is somewhat similar with some posters and opposite to others.

I believe, that if to generalise, a man is seeking three basic things from a woman: love, sex, and friendship. Those guys, who thought they found all those things in one woman, got married. They were thinking it will last like that forever. That was very wrong to think so.

Real friendship requires time and both you and your lifemate must overpass together a lot of obstacles and challenges which life gives us to be sure whether a human is your best friend or just a piece a cr#p. You never know in advance. Only being together for over decade or even decades you can make a right conclusion. Some of us became disappointed in this regard, bot others learnt in time, that fat old wife, who became like that eventually, still is much more reliable, than anybody else on this earth. So opposite opinions could appear, because you never know in advance who is who.

Let's define the word "love" now. It is a feeling, which takes your breath away, when grass looks greener and sun shines warmer. When you are in love, you loose an ability to think soberly. And that is one of the strongest feelings ever. That's how word "love" could be defined by some people. But in my opinion that is wrong definition. I would call it passion and infatuation, which some of us mix up with love. Infatuation can't last for long. Sooner or later it fades away and eventually will be completely gone.

Now some words regarding sex. An instinct which drives us crazy to pump a hotty. When you are in love, I mean under the influence of infatuation, you could mistakenly think that just one single pussy could substitute multiple ones. Later on, when infatuation is gone already, you understand that it was just delusion. Wife gets old and she doesn't attract you sexually anymore. And you become a monger.This is the Bible. Every word you wrote should be tattooed backwards on our foreheads, so in the morning when we brush our teeth we could read it clearly in the mirror. I just want to add what I think is the best solution: the compromise. If you have lived so many years with your wife there must be a reason, and if you no longer have sexual attraction for her, but she is your friend, don't make my mistakes. Especially after a certain age these wives can accept occasional escapes, aware, however, that then we return home. The alternative of abandoning everything and living a few years as a savage has a price to pay, loneliness. The ugly old age that will come when we too get tired of the WG.