Settling Down w/ a Mexicana
Hammer and Joe, congratulations to you both!
True that most girls in Mexico will either see you as:
A) a typical gringo only wanting them for sex.
B) a 'walking wallet' to be exploited for financial gain.
I've mongered in Tijuana & Mexicali over the last 8 years or so. I've been played the few times that I put myself in that situation. I've had my share of drama w/ druggies, alcoholics and overall sharks that make up a good deal of the population of sex workers (and their padrotes) in border towns. I've even had a "civilian" try to play me.
Still, there's a part of me hoping that I might "click" with the right girl and settle down. I don't know if it will ever happen but you guys give me inspiration that it could. Thanks for posting!
Be Careful. Very careful!
[QUOTE=Apache; 1301725]Hammer and Joe, congratulations to you both!
True that most girls in Mexico will either see you as:
A) a typical gringo only wanting them for sex.
B) a 'walking wallet' to be exploited for financial gain.
I've mongered in Tijuana & Mexicali over the last 8 years or so. I've been played the few times that I put myself in that situation. I've had my share of drama w / druggies, alcoholics and overall sharks that make up a good deal of the population of sex workers (and their padrotes) in border towns. I've even had a "civilian" try to play me.
Still, there's a part of me hoping that I might "click" with the right girl and settle down. I don't know if it will ever happen but you guys give me inspiration that it could. Thanks for posting![/QUOTE]Some advice: If anyone tries to do what I did, remember one thing: These women fuck all of the time because it is their job! They are also scarred from it. There's allot of damage that has to be waded through in getting serious with them. Best way I can say it is straight: If you had your tits being fondeled every night, your nipples being sucked on as you gave privados 8-times a day, or were getting plowed several times a week in an emotionless hour like a piece of meat, you kind of lose interest in it. Be prepared for that response early in a serious relationship with a stripper or "worker." Be prepared for complex psychological issues that need resolved.
I admit, I thought to myself after we moved in together "damn, I'm going to be buried in that stuff every night!" NOT! I get my wife 3-4 times a week generally, but sometimes only a couple. They are women, and are no different than any other woman. If she is mensturating or stressed from work, she isn't always in the mood. However, because my wife understands what men do when their wives don't put out, she knows they end out in the strip clubs or brothels, she generally takes care of me when she sees me getting "testy." Also, don't consider yourself their "savior." They survived without a man, most are very independent, and really don't need one to survive. They want a true companion and best friend. For those girls who are torn about their involvement in the sex trade, their greatest need is being appreciated for something other than whether they BBJ! If they enjoy that industry, I would steer clear because they will probably want to return to it. My wife was still kind of new to the industry. She hadn't hardened to it yet nor submitted to it. She wasn't a brothel girl turning $60. 00 tricks five times a day. In fact, she thought that was nasty. But she also knew her future was doing exactly that if she didn't get out. We talked allot about the process the girls go through as they age. Price goes down and down until you are giving $20. 00 BBJ or working at a bar, brothel, or the streets. The hardened girls can't get past seeing men as money; it is hopeless with them.
Finally; be careful! Early on my relationship with my future wife was pure business. I remember about a month in she hit me up for money because I had never paid for her after our first weekend together (I was gaming her). I looked right at her and said the following "look, I thought we moved beyond this. If you see me as a client, I'm not coming back to see you." She stopped, looked at me, and said "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I don't see you as a client at all." The biggest test for these women, if you are trying to move beyond the client role, is get them out on their time, and keep money out of the equation. If they keep coming back to money for their time, drop them in a hurry. 99. 99999% of the time once you remove money from the relationship they will be gone. Mine wanted out of the industry, and was looking for stability and security. Trust me; many nights I held her while she cried in shame about her past and her actions. She explained her "career" like this " Its like cleaning shit out of a kennel. It stinks, it is dirty, but it has to be cleaned, so you protect yourself, and clean it. Some times you find a dog you like in the process."
Now, I'm also not stupid. I know my wife, and more importantly I know women. There's NO doubt in my mind she calculated every move we made. She knew she would get her green card, she knew I was stable financially although far from well off, and she knew I was a good man. Clearly she weighed allot of her options / benefits when she dropped her life in Mexico for me. But truth is; all women think the same way. They all expect financial stability in a relationship.
Again; I hope nobody reads this and runs off to their favorite thinking about love! I had to be VERY careful the first 6-months in my relationship, and watch every move she made until I could trust her, and then I always wondered "is this a confidence game for her." It was really two years in to our relationship I knew she was in it for the long haul. I got laid off and was broke. I mean broke. Spent all my pension, everything due to massiove cuts in education. That woman stepped right up, and carried us financially for over a year. It was then I knew she was for real. And of course the wedding. She wept when I proposed to her. It was truly a dream come true for her. Someone truly wanted her as a wife, not an hour.
All in all it has been a good life with her. I think there were just the right stars aligned when I met her. It just kind of happened. It wasn't like I pursued it or intended for it to happen. Maybe that's why it worked. I suppose if I had kept running down there to Mexicali with a stiff cock in one hand and a dozen roses in the other she would have played me out. Who knows. We just grew on each other. My dad was alive when I married her, and being a simple man, he said it like this "when you find a woman that fits you like an old glove, you better grab her and not let go." We just kind of fit! We cuddle every night just like we did early in the relationship. More than 24Hrs. Apart and we are going nuts. It was just meant to be.
Nice to hear I'm not alone!
[QUOTE=El_Otro_Hijo; 1302573]Congrats. Hope you all the best.
I'm in the same boat, have known my girl for 3 years now and we will be getting married soon (she is living in states with me now). It is not easy and as I read your post it is like I'm looking in the mirror. She also only worked a short time in the Mexicali bars and is not too "hardened" and was very glad the day she could resume a new identity (she calls it). We don't talk much about that time only that alcohol was the only way she could get the courage to do it. And I aswell lost my job for over a year and she stepped in selling hot dogs (which she did rather well, guys will buy anything from beautiful women) which kept us going. Like any relationship it is difficult but sometimes you can't fight destiny.
Thanks for sharing those wise words. Good Luck.[/QUOTE]I bet my wife knows yours; depends on where your lady worked. They all tend to cross paths. I don't know if you ever met a "Megan" from Miau Miau and Porkys or not. I called her the "mujer plastico" because of all the surgeries she had. Anyway, she ended out meeting a gringo too.
Look; I don't want to get everyone angry on here, but the bottom line is that I would safely estimate 90% of the women in the sex trade down there don't like it. They simply have no choices in Mexico. It is a third world country. I asked her one time, early in our relationship, why she was in that tI will share something with you: The first time my future wife and I actually made love, not just a cold fuck, I mean made love, I told her she was beautiful and a pained look came across her face, and she burst out crying. I'm like "lo siento" I'm sorry. She replied "no, it's ok. I just haven't heard that from men." Many of the girls are searching for a knight in shining armor to sweep them away from the dirt and the grime. HOWEVER, many of them see "SUCKER" stamped on the forehead of men too!
Hey, it is what it is. There will always be mongers who say I'm an idiot. Bottom line is I'm happy and so is my wife. We don't talk about her past much either. It is too painful for her, and frankly I don't want to know about it. What I do know is she is mine now, and for that I'm a lucky man! I sleep every night with a beautioful woman, eat great Mexican food every night, and could not be happier. I stumbled on her at the right time; I was / am still in good shape and decent looking, and she was at that point in life where she wanted a change. Knowing her like I do now; it must have been hell for her to go to work every night and do what she did. She is a decent, classy woman with high morals. But, life and the country of birth placed her where she was.
If you need help or information about the immigration process ask me. Right now I'm curious how she got in the states with you! You should have married her there and immigrated her with a spousal visa, or brought her in on a fiance visa. If she came in on a B Visa and over stayed it you guys could have some problems. GOOD LUCK BRO!
Antonio