Ishq wala love/ karela wala massa(z)e
Thursday afternoon. I was buzzing around CP, one sonofab*ch cancelled a meeting at the last minute and I crashed into Blues- lots of beer and wallet a lot lighter, I came out and it struck me that dear friend N3V33n had mentioned something about something near CP and I had enquired of him about the place. So off I went to this place. Life's a joke, most of us don't get it.
Joke start:
I called the SPA, some lady answered in heavy Southie accent, that killed me. Anyhow, I asked for directions and then one guy took the phone and said that hes coming to pick me up froma designated place. Shady business this, I thought. The guy then called me and said what was I wearing and when I repeated the question to him, he said he is easily figurable in this crowd as he has " Orange hair". That killed me completely. I saw one orange head bobbing up and down in the crowd and thought it was him. I told this orange headed lad that ' lets go, I am the one you were waiting for and he turns in surprise and said, maybe you are mistaken'. Turns out that I caught one uncle with henna colored hair who had no business with the S of SPA. Not funny. I waited and after a while a suspicious looking man with light orange (Fuck, can you imagine? Light orange) colored hair comes and says walk behind me but keep a few steps distance. I was going bonkers and I told him no, I will walk with my arm around your shoulder. That perhaps set him straight for he gave a sheepish smile and started walking side by side.
This SPA was a killer. It was built in the most shoddy building I have seen in my life housing a SPA, and there was perhaps no board either. Crazy shit. I went up the stairs and everything is very hush hush- Diabolical stuff! Then the door opens and one lady is sitting at the reception and suddenly some 3-4 guys and 1-2 girls appear out of nowhere and crowd the reception looking at me as if I am an alien. I asked the lady what types of massages were on offer and she started smiling- That killed me.
Anyhow, she said I cannot choose the masseuse and sent one middle aged lady into the room. She gave me a white undie and I told her she could stick it inside her pussy (figuratively, of course). Then she took some oil in her hands and started massaging my back. That oils smell killed me yet again, for it smelled like a mix of fish oil, turd, mustard oil and what not. I asked her WTF was it and she said its 'karela massaze oil'. Ditto pronunciation. After a while I get to the point and ask for extras. She says everywhere in the world there would be extras but not here. My Johhny wanted to shed itself and fall on the floor hearing this. I told her how come there are no extras. She said ' Sir main baal bachhe waali hu ye sab nahi karti'. (I am a woman with kids, I don't do such stuff). I wanted to run out naked on the street then and there, but stopped just short. Imagine. And that slithery oils smell was killing me over and over.
Then she started talking about how her husband left her and she was lonely and how the tattoos on my body were very well done and shit like that. Mixed signal. An FM station you can't get the reception right to. So I again told her about tips and money and extras and then she blurts out ' aap tensan naa lo haath se main kar dungi aapka' (ditto pronunciation). (don't take tension I will blow you by hand). The schitfuck thing about talking to someone in hindi about these things is a killing experience in itself, and when the masseuse speaks to you in chaste Hindi, that further makes the matter complex.
So I said okay, no tensan, do it. So she did it and without asking her I grabbed her mangoes sliding my hand inside and pressed them to the hearts content. Now comes the killer. As I am pressing the large mangoes, some paper like thing comes in my hand and I withdrew my hand to see its a 50 Rs note. She smilingly told me she kept money in her bra. I felt like being gassed by tortoise mosquito coil. Anyhow, she just got over with the stuff and gave me a towel and said the geyser is not working so you have to take bath in cold shower. I told to myself that I am jumping out of this stupid window right into the middle of the road right now, but stopped. Imagine. 4 PM, cloudy weather, winters approaching, go to spa, have this thick as gum oil splashed on you and then when the time for escaping from this thing comes, no hot water. So I took a wash with cold water and then I realise that I have exhausted the soap bar given to me by rubbing myself ten times and washing the oil except that it never washed out. After 30 minutes of showering, I am back to my slithery slippery fish oil smelling sticky self and theres no respite. So I wore those clothes again and sprayed my Issey Miyake to kill that smell but seems like it killed the perfume instead and both smells combined to result in something extraordinary, something very weird that it can't be explained. I tipped the girl 200 bucks, walked out and told the receptionist that the oil was a killer and how come it never got off? She said Sir its ' Karela Massaze oil', takes time to come off.
I came out, looked up at the sky, smiled and thought to myself, Life is indeed a joke, most of the time we don't get it.
Ratings.
Figure: 7/10.
Looks: 5/10.
Massage Skills: 5/10.
Mangoes: 8/10.
Will repeat: Best left unanswered.
Damages: 1500 Massage (or is it massaze) .200 tip.
Cheers to all, hope some of you guys had a great Karwa Chauth with your GFs and wives.
Keep buzzin' like theres no tomorrow!
Red Mosquito
Why are you wasting time Mr. Stallio
Dear stallio,
Why are you imploring for contacts on the open forum
Las time also when you have had implored for contacts on open forum, I have sent you a pm of a famous SP in delhi specialized in CIS chicks, did you tied him. What are your experiences. U didn't post an FR. Do you have any other interest apart from collecting contacts.
[QUOTE=Stallio; 1344230]Hi All
Would really appreciate some help to find some good SPA's offering Extra's and having nice staff. In the gurgaon area.
Please PM me.
Thanks in advance. Happy mongering![/QUOTE]