Where do I start? No flames, just sharing my experiences
I've previously done a comparison between Colombia and Lima. I've lost it since. One of the things that still sticks out is, in Colombia, it's very rare to see a group of girls out by themselves having fun at a table. Generally, there's a dude or group of dudes footing the bill. It's an expectation set by previous experiences. I've seen this in Bogota, BAQ, Medellin, Cali, etc. CTG not as much. They play the "I'm broke" card, but check out their clothes, pricey cell phones, etc. I do agree with the "if you invite, you pay" mode of thinking, but it goes much further than this in Colombia.
Oldest Colombiana trick in the book towards gringos (anybody that isn't Colombian, to them even includes those Colombians who live abroad). You invite a girl that you met, even by internet site, whatever on a date, dinner/movies/discos. She brings along her "friends" or "primas" with her for "security." Ypu're expected to pay for them all. In reality, they're fleecing you for a free expensive (to them) night out on the town that they otherwise couldn't afford nor would attempt. Bottom-line. And the caveat to their checkmate, is they already know that it won't cost them a thing, nor will they have to put out in bed. Plenty of excuses will follow. That being said, these girls will put out...for wolves, not sheep.
One thing that needs to be learned by foreigners who go to Colombia, is the word NO. I know, the beauty of the women blinds you. However, in Colombia, look around. It's a very macho society. Men change women like we change underwear. Men make the rules, and when women dispute it, they get replaced, or cheated on by another chick just as fine. It is what it is. This is what Colombian women respect. They may say all this crap about "Colombian men are dogs," "they don't respect me," "they are machistas" ya ya ya ya. And some women are just as bad as the men. It's all game to draw you (the gullible foreigner) in. Look around the country and see who's screwing these hot chicks in the ass on command, depositing babies and running away. It's generally not foreigners. Trust me, I've been in groups where Colombian dudes invited out some chicas. There was plenty of screwing going on. They don't invite out dead fish.
There are many honest women in BAQ. I have met quite a few over my travels who just wanted some real companionship, were pretty traditional, loved to party with their family and friends, and were loyal. Of course, I've met sheep that turned out to be wolves as well. I screwed them all just the same and still maintain contact with them. Some of my ex-novias, in hindsight, would like to try again, but I try to keep moving forward. I still have the option to screw them when I'm there, boyfriend or not.
Here's a possible problem. These women aren't stupid. You don't give them enough credit. Yes, they talk a lot between themselves and stories travel. How far it travels depends on how many family and friends (from neighborhoods, grade school, college, work, etc.) these women stay in contact with. If a couple of them go to a marriage agency or hit a dating website, you better believe that they tell their friends about the experiences. The free dinners, gifts, nights out about town, with no sex given up. This becomes the expectation.
Here's another possible problem, and not a dig at our older mongers. Most younger Colombian women (20-30 yo) don't prefer men much older than themselves. A few will go for the security, i.e. $$$, associated with that type of relationship, but it's not very common, at least in BAQ. Some will have sex with older men for the $$$$, but realistically, they prefer dudes closer to their ages for relationships. There IS a stigma attached to it. This info comes from several savvy BAQ chicas that I've known for years. We sat in front of their house a while back with their friends talking about it. There were a lot of laughs had by them. Seriously, look around when you're down there. It's not very common at all. Don't kid yourself.
You need to be in charge of your experience. YOU dictate what goes down, which means having a plan B (another chick) and plan C (hooker bars). The word "No" comes to in play here. From the many experiences I've seen, Colombian chicks don't lead, they follow.
- If a chick shows up for a date 45 mins late, leave the date site and initiate plan B and/or plan C. Don't even bother calling. Lack of respect goes two ways.
- If a chick shows up previously unannounced with "friends," finish your drink, be cordial, and prepare to leave. Again, initiate plan B and plan C.
- If a chick isn't feeling you after the 1st date, and you don't sense interest past friendship, put her in friend category, and move on fast. You can even go as far as letting her know that you have another date the next night. Might not change anything, but Colombian chicks are pretty competitive.
- Whatever you do, trust your 1st instinct. Don't waste time.
I've said this a long time ago, the best way to meet regular chicas is for them to be presented to you by a mutual friend, not someone with a vested interest. Girls love playing cupid. My guy friends use me as bait for other girls. So, setting me up nice and comfortable with a nice, fun, sexy chica works in their favor as well. I'm able to translate my sense of humor in Spanish, I dress pretty decently for the occasion, I can dance pretty well to all kinds of music, I drink like a fish, I'm respectable to all, and adaptable to many social settings.
I've also met ladies in passing at their jobs, maybe a secretary in an office, or in a boutique, spa, etc. Those experiences are 50/50, but generally start off with a joke, conversation, light flirting (if cute), and followed up with a request for a # for a possible date later. Even if the chick you're speaking with isn't cute, and she finds you a decent dude, if she spots you checking out a cute co-worker, she'll try to "present" you.
The length of my trips to Colombia range between 2-10 days over a 4 year span. Only this year did I discover the joy of p4p in BAQ. Before that, strictly non-pro ladies. Now, I prefer to mix it up between non-pros and putas.
I hope some of this helps someone. Just sharing my experiences there.
The whole age scenario again...
Ricker... I do think age disparity relationships do happen in Colombia for sure but it wasn't common in BAQ. In Cali I saw it alot but the women weren't supermodels just decent.
I would agree with most guys here that older men can date younger with less hassel but I agree with HoofHunter that it's really down to economics and $$$$ (or in my case ££££ :)). The further down the lady is in society and the more lower class the less likely she is to care about age. The further up in society the girl and the higher in class the woman the more she is going to want someone close to her age. Girls from really affluent families wouldn't date old and rich Colombiano or gringo. I just doesn't happen.
In Colombia I didn't notice wild differences like some will make out exist. i.e Miss Colombia types with older men. They were just decent.
Adios
[QUOTE=Ricker]Once again I have to disagree with this completely.
I have visited and semi lived in Colombia for years.
The fact is, age is only a factor if you let it be.
Your age is only one of many of your particular characteristics.
Your general physical condition, your personality, your communication skills, your self confidence, etc, etc mean so much more than your age.
The culture accepts younger women with older men. There really is NOT a great stigma attached to it. That's the beauty of their culture.
I have many many Colombian friends, actually more Colombian friends than in the USA. Girls and guys.
Most of the Colombianas I know want to meet an older guy. A guy with experience in life and a guy they believe will be more faithfull to them ... thinking that a younger guy will still have more of his wild side about him.
Of course there are the chicas that look for an older guy for his money too.
That's obvious.
And of course there are chicas that prefer guys closer to their own age.
But, like I said before, age is only a factor if you let it be.
My newest novia (girlfriend) is about 25 years younger than me and trust me, it's not for the $$. I learned to keep that in check years ago.
You can't be stingy, but you can't be stupid either ... whole other discussion.
Good luck![/QUOTE]