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Kissmeallover:
Interesting reports. I don't know that wanting/expecting to have sex once a day is at all an indication of satyriasis (the correct spelling) and if I'm reading you correctly, your estimate of the amount you've spent works out to about $8000 a year over 25 years or so, which, while a lot, is not ridiculously more than others would spend. (People who pursue porn stars and higher-tier escorts can spend tons more -- I know one guy who spends more than $35k a year, but he can easily afford it.) Depends on your income, I guess, and your tastes. And your 400 women -- even cutting out your marriage -- works out to two or three a month over that same period. Again, that's hardly a record pace, particularly if you're looking at working women with whom you mostly don't maintain a relationship -- guys running to Thailand, Brazil or elsewhere can easily tote up a woman a day, and many do. (Skinless has announced he's shooting, ahem, for four a day on his current trip.) Simply being highly sexed isn't an indication of satyriasis, and that also involves characteristics you don't seem to have -- such as the obsession with [i]seducing[/i] women and thereby conquering them, which isn't generally an issue in the pay-for-play scene as no sediuction is necessary. There are a number of guys on this board who have the same general numbers as you do, or even far greater, and I rather doubt they're all afflicted with satyrism. Classically, btw, satyriasis also involved the inability to climax at all, though that mostly has dropped out of the definition as the term has simply come to be the male equivalent of nymphomania or sexual addiction.
If you think you've got a problem then you probably do, but if I were you I'd not be using the library as opposed to a qualified professional, especially given that the real treatment for satyriasis usually involves a combination of drug and psychiatric therapy. Sounds to me less like you've got satyriasis and more like you've never learned how to properly form and manage relationships, despite your marriage, especially given your lack of understanding about why someone might not want to have sex with you if they were angry with you (hello -- mood only matters for you?) and your admitted lack of communication and thoughtfulness (again, gee, none of that and you still couldn't understand why she didn't want to screw as much as you.) People are also just wired differently in terms of sexuality -- it might be that your issue is simply hooking up with partners whose libido is too different from yours.
Your use of the word "abscessed" conveys a lot about how you feel about your situation, which isn't all that surprising given that you note several times the difference between sexual encounters when there are genuine feelings involved. I'll end my little quasi-amateur psychological-textual analysis with this -- you write as though you are in a depression (I note this as someone with a tendency toward depression) and if I were you I'd seek counseling to help you get a handle on things. None of the things you've described in your missives seem massively out of kilter, so it's more your attitudes and perceptions about them that matter than anything else, and since you're not happy with them, it would make sense to talk to someone.
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Yes, if this dude wants to be a satyr, he needs to get WAY more pussy than what he's talking about. Boring.
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And KissME,
You also need an editor . . . too many words
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[b]Kissmeallover[/b] -
thank you for your honesty and openness.
I was curious if the medical people ever diagnosed the "scum" infection was, even if they weren't able to stop it?
Other than that, i think that you will find that there alot of people here that have similar experiences.
I personally get a charge out of fucking as many women as I possibly can. In part I suppose these are "conquest" issues. However, as often as I have paid for women, many, many more have been unpaid relationships. I would have to guess that I have had sex with about 400 women since I was 13. I am guessing - it has been at least 6 years since I tried to count them all. 21 years of having sex in total.
I find bringing a woman to orgasm very erotic and exciting. I have brought many a jaded prostitute to an eyeopening orgasm that they were neither expecting nor faking.
In part I suppose that I have in some way confused sex with love. On the otherhand, both of them produce specific chemical states of the brain. Romantic love is a chemical condition produced by condition and environment. If it was actually related to destiny or 'soul mates' or what have you, humans would mate for life.
However, in my opinion, it is against our nature to be faithful. I believe that in most cases, it could be argued that Romantic Love is a mental state which evolved in order to allow child rearing to occur.
Note that I make distinctions between Romantic Love (ie girlfriends/wives) and the love of your progeny. This too, I am sure is an evolved condition that protects the next generation of procreators.
I know that I am going to be slammed here for saying all this.
I believe that humans are animals that evolved to reproduce themselves, nothing else.
Let's take a pretend journey to 200 million years ago, and look at 2 sets of proto-humans.
Group one hunts and gathers, and once a month have sex with their mates, they also have a special gene called "faithfulness", which is passed on to offspring through either parent.
The second group also hunts and gathers, however they have a special gene, the "horniness" gene. This particular gene encourages the group to mate constantly with whoever they can.
Now imagine that this fictional gene is dominant, and is passed through either the mother or the father.
Now fast forward to the present day. Which of the two groups do you guess would be the majority here on planet earth?
Sex is pleasurable because the creatures from which we evolved found sex was pleasurable, and did it more often. They passed their "enjoyment" gene to their offspring, etc etc.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. There is nothing wrong with pursuing more than one woman for sexual purposes. That is our instinct. Social conventions have artificially imposed limits on the sexual activities of its members.
Why is this? Well, in part because of STDs. In part because of the large numbers of children created by this. However, in our modern society many of these constraints have been lifted due to tecnological changes (modern medicine, for instance, which has cured diseases such as syphyllis, which was estimated to have infected up to 30% of all European men less than 200 years ago).
However, evolution is not perfect, nor is it a moral process. Viruses and diseases have evolved to take advantage of our procilivities. However, humans are happier when they do what comes naturally.
I am not referring to morals, ethics or social norms. Humans have evolved to fuck. Just take that into account when you try to judge your activities.
I live in Mexico, and the "paid" girls I fuck from time to time get indignant when I choose someone else. This makes me laugh. I usually shut them up by asking how many men they've fucked that night.
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"I believe that humans are animals that evolved to reproduce themselves, nothing else."
Actually, dolphins apart from humans are the only ones who have sex for enjoyment, not just reproduction.
Something I have been wondering about myself as my view on sex has been so warped. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to a prostitute who was 18 while on vacation in Europe with my parents. I was nervous as hell and also sexually frustrated in America where I had to wait another 4 and a half years before a girlfriend gave in to my sexual advances.
All in all, I went through a period of about 11 years of only having a couple of serious girlfriends but did do some mongering on the side more than anything else for an ego boost. Now that I have a fiancee since last year, I have been screwing around like crazy, especially since I discovered girls who are less pro and offer GFE. I justify it that I will be faithful once I am married but my view on sex is that I can love her, take my precautions and be extremeley careful not to hurt her- emotionally or physically. Is this a fallacy or have others been successful at cheating on their girlfriends/wives for years and not think anything of it?
Maybe I just have a guilty conscience but as others said before, sex with new girls gives us a charge like no other. It is a window of fantasy in which it feels like anything is possible. Plus, after mongering experiences of late, I find I am more relaxed and confident around women and even get hit on now that I am not even showing interest in picking them up. I have even learned some new tricks in bed but have been careful in trying these out as maybe she will get suspicious. Still avoid the American girls more for lack of passion and head games but makes me wonder if I am on the edge of sexual addiction and about to cross over into the land of no return or if others have successfully stopped cold turkey.
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I don't think you should get married until you no longer have the desire to do tons of other girls. Just my opinion as a divorced guy who mongered before and after marriage but not during, but never has felt as if he were on the edge of sexual addiction.
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Hysterical,
How do you know if it is an addiction?
1) When chasing outside pussy seriously disrupts your marriage, relationship or your work environment and job.
2) When you are spending a significant % of you income on hookers and it impacts your lifestyle or worse, that of your family.
3) When chasing tail becomes just a numbers game and you are thinking about your next hooker while you are screwing one.
I've talked with lots of guys over the years and everyone thinks about sex . . . all the time. But not that many married men actually do something about it . . . at least not on the scale most of us on this Forum do. By most definitions, almost ALL of the posters at WSG are sex addicts. Spending up to $30,000/ year or more on hookers? Having had sex with not 100's, but 1,000's of women? Spending a huge amount of time and energy searching for, finding, paying and screwing pussy and then spending more time writing about it on the Internet? I think we are all guilty to varying degrees. I can understand a guy who has only had sex with 5 to 10 women in his life wanting to experience more . . . and there are plenty of married guys in that boat. But after 100 or 500 or 1,000 different women, do you honestly think the next one is going to be significantly different? And if you know her only for an hour or less, what can you learn, except for quickly checking out her anatomy? And often it's not even a pleasant experience . . .
But I always claim that a wife/girlfriend and a mistress/hooker are completely different ideas and it doesn't have to be one or the other. However when the second one interferes with the first one, you have a serious problem. You can get away with the occasional massage parlor or strip club or business trip escort and she won't find out and you will both be happier. But if you are newly married and find yourself spending big bucks and constantly chasing tail, you shouldn't have married in the first place. If other women stop you from giving the time, affection, sex and understanding to your own wife, then it's a problem and you need to slow down. When I meet a woman and decide to live with her, I am so busy screwing her for the first several years that I have neither the desire nor energy to think about other women . . . and I don't.
But asking this Forum about sexual addiction is like going to a crack house and asking if anyone thinks they have a drug problem . . . Good Luck, -P
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Thanks for the input. I especially liked the analogy about
about the drug addiction and the crack house. However, I have been posting and reading more here as a support group- whether it be tipping each other off about scams or better negotiating tactics or higher quality tang as we are becoming more educated consumers. I guess in the end it is nice to know there is an outlet for a high sex drive for people like myselves although I am slowing down and not a sex crazed teenager anymore who can screw 4x in a row the same night even with jetlag. Also that the bonking is more a short term relationship and GFEs do exist is nice to know. F·%/( just to F·%·% is not the idea or what excites me.
For now, I am not overboard like others in terms of reaching in the five digits on hobbying. And I do prefer quality over quantity although I may still try to shoot for marathon sessions of loads shot per night/weekend with the same girl. And if I may be hooked a little, I am still pretty particular about hygiene and who I go after. Lastly, the only times I am boinking a girl and thinking of another is when I feel I may have made that wrong choice in the club which has happened a couple of times. Still, you make the best of it and keep moving on.
Right now, just trying to pursue a hobby maybe 3-5 times a year on trips and keep a low profile, ie. pay in cash and no credit card trial for example. I have no intentions of leaving my girl whatsoever and as long as I am careful and eventually slow down, my 2 lives may never cross.
Happy cunting to all and be careful to not get sucked into it too deep. Keep your head and heart about you.
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Hystero, care to talk about your first time? Was it your dad's idea? I've always been curious to hear about dads taking their sons to lose it .
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[quote]originally posted by hysteromania
[i]actually, dolphins apart from humans are the only ones who have sex for enjoyment, not just reproduction.[/i]
[/quote]
actually you are wrong about that. it has been well documented by primate researchers that male chimpanzees will [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123][CodeWord123][/url] females.
also, have you ever owned a dog? why do you think that they are humping legs?
i am not going to go far as to say that goldfish, amoebas and sea slugs enjoy sex, but there has to be some sort of mechanism that tells the creature in question "this is good" or else why would it reproduce?
just my opinion.
diablo
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i don't know how chimps [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord125][CodeWord125][/url] or dogs being horny says anything about having sex for enjoyment. being driven by a sex drive isn't the same thing as sex purely for pleasure, and the fact that there [i]is[/i] enjoyment or good feelings while having sex also doesn't mean that's the motivation for having it as opposed to a biological imperative.
although, while we're anthropomorphizing, i know plenty of humans for whom it's [i]very[/i] clear that having sex is not about pleasure :d
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dick Johnson
[i]Hystero, care to talk about your first time? Was it your dad's idea? I've always been curious to hear about dads taking their sons to lose it . [/i][/QUOTE]
Nope, dad had nothing to do with it. Since I was inundated with American teenage movies and directed media that seemed to make having sex mandatory before graduation or you will die or something like that. Will admit, I was drunk and foolish then and think it may have warped my mind since then as I do not think paying for sex is bad, especially if you know what you are getting and do not have the head games that follow afterwards.
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Joe,
"Being driven by a sex drive isn't the same as sex for pleasure"
No? I bet it is. The sex drive is controled by feeling good/receiving pleasure. I doubt that there is any difference. Humans are just animals who can talk a little better . . . and only just a little.
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If that's the case how do you explain lower forms? How do you explain cycles of going in heat for animals and the lack of sex when they're not in heat? There's no pleasure in it for bacteria, plants, etc., and yet they still procreate. People (or anything else) are driven by things that don't necessarily have anything to do with a pure pleasure impulse. Eating, for example. Fear of death, for another.
And I'm certainly not saying at all that animals aren't also driven by pleasure or that there isn't pleasure in it -- the cat on my lap is not driven there by love or hunger; it likes the way it feels when I scratch it.
No disagreement at all on the talking side of things, though!
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by joe_zop
[i]If that's the case how do you explain lower forms? How do you explain cycles of going in heat for animals and the lack of sex when they're not in heat? There's no pleasure in it for bacteria, plants, etc., and yet they still procreate...
And I'm certainly not saying at all that animals aren't also driven by pleasure or that there isn't pleasure in it -- the cat on my lap is not driven there by love or hunger; it likes the way it feels when I scratch it.[/i][/QUOTE]
I would say that comparing the sex life of a plant and the sex life of a mammal pretty much "apples and oranges". Plants don't have a central nervous system, so I don't think that "pleasure response" is applicable.
Here is a couple of links I found about the Bonobo, also known as the Pygmy chimpanzee: [url]http://www.allaboutsex.org/bonobos_pleasureequalspeace.html[/url]
and: [url]http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/pleasure.htm[/url]
Anyhow, in the second link the article actually goes at length to qualify the idea that only humans, dolphins and bonobos are having sex for pleasure.
My whole point, is that if you placed two colonies of proto-humans on two separate landmasses, and had one group who did not have sex for pleasure, and the other who did (assuming no scientific birth control methods), I guarantee you that the area with the "pleasure" population would outnumber the other in hundred years by an order of magnitude, assuming there were sufficient resources (food, shelter, water) to support a large population.