5 days drive from Pereira (Colombia) to Lima (Peru)
Hi everyone,
After a long, long 5 days drive from Colombia to Peru, I have just arrived to my new playground. I am here in Lima with my dear friend Screwed Up that is as screwed up as ever.
Here's what happened.
I used to live in Cali for 4 years. I ended up waking-up to the fact that the wife I had was a total *****. That is good enough for the USA, but in Colombia, with all the competition around, that doesn't fly for long. So, I ended up giving her the divorce that she deserved and went on. The hard thing was obviously the 2 kids that were in the middle. Anyhow, a failed mariage doesn't have to mean that the divorce has to fail. Well, it ended-up that the ex-to-be is so fucked-up in her head that she started to threat me and my surroundings. I had met my dear Edith that is most probably the best of Colombia, and she got some of my ex-wife's bad behavior.
In the process, to have some breathing room, I moved from Cali to Pereira in Colombia. Having a 3 hour drive between I and the ex-wife may help in getting a little less bullshit from her. That went well for 6 months. Then the threats and the criminal lawsuits against me started coming again. The justice system in Colombia is just a total mess. Could you believe that I had a criminal lawsuit against me because I sent my own daughter to the zoo with a friend (and came back the day after)? Well, if I can't be a dad with my daughter in that crazy country without risking jail time, then I am getting the Hell out of this nut country. I then brought my 2 kids to her mother, wish them all good life (kiss to the kids, and a slap in the face to the ex-wife), and then had to leave Colombia most probably forever with Edith (I hope).
We left Cali on a Saturday. I drive a 1974 Jeep Land-cruiser. Old car that often plays tricks on me. But the drive is only 3000 km or so, and having driven from Florida to Seatle twice plus through Canada a couple of times, what could go wrong?
Anyhow, on Saturdayit happened. The car breaks down in the Cauca. For those of you that do not know the Cauca, well it's FARC country. When you meet someone, you don't know who he is and how your interaction is going to end. The trouble was with the fuel pump. It happened at about 30-40 minutes south of Popayan. The meeting lotery ended up being good. We met good people that ended up helping us through this ordeal. It ended up being a 6 hour stall, and we were then back on the road.
Day one ended up in Pasto Colombia. Then comes day 2. We go to Ipiales to the Colombian border. I go through the border without an hitch. For Edith (a Colombian citizen) that is not the same. She needs a report from the DAS about her judicial status, and on a Sunday, the banks are not opened to make the deposit of their bribe money. Result: we need to wait until the next day in order to go through this bureaucracy. How beautiful is that? Anyhow, let's cut our losses and go to the hotel and work on a little antifreeze in the meantime.
The next day is the one. I go at the bank and make the deposit of the bribe money while she has her picture taken. All done within an hour. Then, we go through the Colombia border and the Ecuador border. The car brought some issues. I had my paperwork in order to go through borders, but did not think of Ecuador (more on that later). Customs at Ecuador's border did not appear to be an issue. So, we started our long journey south. We got stopped by police about 4 times in the first 200 km. After that, there was a custom check-point. I felt like it was going to be just another one of these checks and we're back on our way. They gave me shit about the fact that I needed a certificate of importation because I am more than 200 km into Ecuador and that a Colombian car can enter in Colombia but only until a certain point without that certificate. Bullshit, total bullshit.... We told people at customs at the border that we were heading to Peru. If they did not provide us with that certificate, then they have to be equivalently unprofessional and overlook it now. The agent tells me to go back at the border and ask for the report. I tell him that I will make the U-turn and do so. I get in the car, and kept driving while ignoring his fucking advice.
We drive south up to Quito. Going through a city is always a mess since a freeway melts down to normal streets (without signs) and you need to find your way through that mess to find the freeway again on the other end of the city. In the process of doing so, we are told that the pan-american freeway is closed today. That was odd. And what other road may we take to go south? None we are told. I keep on driving while ignoring that alarming input. Indeed, I get into a road block that will confirm my worst fears. What happened? I ask the cop. Was there an landslide, or something? No, there is a unlawful road-block to protest against the state of the road and they ask for 30 million dollars to fix the road. Why should I care, send the fucking army and show them who's the boss!!!! No, not in Ecuador. It was already closed for 2 days, and the protest made sure to close all exits south. We drove back to Quito and got an hotel to spend the night, maybe the day after it will open.
Go to an hotel, spend $24 USD for the room, and relax a bit after a stressfull day. Edith stays in the room while I go and fetch for some Internet. While I come back to the room, she tells me that she hitches everywhere. Good news: there are fleas in the room. The harm was already done, we switch bed but that wouldn't fix anything anyhow.
The morning after, I ask if the protest is done. No. So, I tell my darling that we'll have to drive north and west to go around that mess. It ended up being a 600 km little detour through the Ecuador rain forest. We drove almost to the Ecuador-Peru border that same day (about 15 hours drive) without seeing anymore customs. The following day was reserved for another border. Get the hell out of Ecuador and into Peru. I was frightened about the car and the custom paper to make Ecuador happy, but that's the aventure. We get to the border. What a mess it is at that border!!! First Ecuador's migration. No problem. Then, a couple of miles down the road comes the Peru border. I first stop to get some Soles (Peru's currency) on the street. Exchange $70 USD to Soles. Then an Ecuador custom agent gets to my window and asks me for my paperwork. I answer hiw with a smile. I look at Edith and tell her to buckle up and start driving the last 20 meters to Peru as if I did not hear him at all. She tells me that I am crazy! She may be right. Anyhow, that ended up being a good move since it was the end of it. Then comes Peru's custom agent. We push some more paperwork without problem (at least until now).
Then comes the Peru long drive. Roads in Peru are in excellent shape. Way better than Colombia and Ecuador. Other than the Ecuador fleas eating us alive, the trip was excellent. Half way into Peru, we stopped in a restaurant and I ask the guy to prepare a pool of water to drown the little bastards. I jump into the bucket with all my clothes and drowned them as expected and that was also the end of it for them.
Quite a trip. I am happy to be in Lima, but somewhat fearful towards that next chapter in my life. C'est la vie! This is adventure or not????
Saludos
Antifreeze with his lovely Edith (the best of Colombia) by his side.
Question to the Lima insiders
I would like to know whether what happened to a fellow monger in Lima is high-risk or low risk :
Brought two girls from one of the mid-range bars (Peppers, I think) to a rather high-end motel. Ordered whisky. Without asking first, girls picked up the phone and ordered coke - snortable kind, not the drinkable kind. The chap that brought the blow seemed to be somehow attached to the motel for he showed up in no time.
Is this part of regular motel room service? What about this getting monitored on close-circuit video? To the girls it seemed the most natural thing in the world.
My Mongering Experience in Lima with the Pros
By mistake I put this report in Cusco Section yesterday. I am posting it here again. I apologize for the double post.
I reported my disappointing experience with the non pros in this section before. Now for the pros.
This was my first trip to Lima, although not the first time in South America. I have been to Brazil few times. Whereever I went, I like to enjoy the local culture, sightseeing and cultural shows etc. These aspects of my trip are as important as the mongering. So if I find a nice woman who knows the city and not too expensive, I tend to keep them as my guide. It worked well for me in Brazil for couple of times. I was trying to do the same with non pros in Lima with disastrous consequences. I gave it another try with the pros nonetheless.
I am 50+ years old and of Asian descent. I have been mistakenly identified as a Thai. In my experience, your skin color matters. Whereever I went, whether in Asia, Australia, Europe or South America, local people invariably assume that I don't have money. So you get the service accordingly. On the plus side, probably I will not be a preferred target for mugging and I can haggle a little more with the chicas for a better price!!!
In the first instance, I have only one Saturday night for mongering in Lima. After I said good bye to my non pro companion around 10 pm, I headed straight to Parque Kennedy area. Foremost, "Tequila" was in my mind. It was only few minutes walk from my hotel. I read in this board that action in "Tequila" starts late. So leisurely, I took a walk around the Parque Kennedy, had a coffee, watch the scene to kill time. Then I thought I should go to check the famous Pizza Alley, because I read so much about it. At the entrance, a guy was handing some sort of leaflets for a strip club. Out of curiosity I took one, then started slowly towards "Tequila". One girl came from behind and said "Hola". I stopped and started talking with the girl with my rudimentary knowledge of Spanish. She did not speak English at all.Well, it did not take that long to strike a deal. She was no more than 23 years old. The deal was: 200 soles for the night, she would leave my hotel at 9 am in the morning and a breakfast on me if she wanted to, two shots on goal, 100 soles at night and other 100 in the morning. I volunteered that I don't like to do anything uncovered and no anal. She seemed pleased and agreed. She does not do DFK. I agreed. As we were walking towards my hotel, I saw a nice little bar. We went in there, had beer. Then she said she would like eat something and paid for it reluctantly. Not much though. No hassle at the front desk at the hotel. We went to my room. The moment she saw the Jacuzzi, she went straight to it and started filling it up. She jumped into it. Of course, I joined her too. We had fun there. In the meantime she told me that she has a three month old boy and she is lactating. I did not understand that part at that time because of my poor Spanish, it became clear to me in the Jacuzzi. She just squirted some milk from her breast on my face!! One breast was squirting milk when she squeezes the other one! Wow!1 Brand new experience for me. Never saw that before. Being ignorant about the risk of breast milk, I did not suck her breast, but fondling those was fun though! When she came out of the Jacuzzi she wanted to be paid 100 soles which I did. Then she received a phone call, I did not understand what she was talking about. We did our deed. She was just average, nothing to write home about. She was not into it. About half an hour later, she received another call. She said she has to go to the hospital, because her baby was taken there (that was an emotional convincing excuse bs, I did not buy it though). Needless to say I was not very pleased. Anyway I let her go. She left her number promising better service next time. But I never called. So basically, 100 soles for one shot and two hours of her time.
In the second instance, I had 10 nights for mongering. I was busy during daytime with my Spanish classes, but I was free from about 8 pm. On the first Saturday night, I went to "Tequila" about 11:30 pm, sat in one corner on the right hand side when you go in, drank my beer slowly. After an hour or so I invited a girl to sit with me. I bought one beer for her and started negotiation immediately. She started at 300 soles for the night. I wanted her to stay till 9 am in the morning for 250 soles. She was willing to stay till 7am for that amount. Anyway our negotiation broke down. She left. Another girl was watching our negotiation from another table. When she realized that our negotiation broke down, she came and sat with me. Before I bought any beer for her, I wanted the negotiation done. We agreed on the same deal I offered to the other girl. So we went to my hotel. We did our business. Sex was average. Light kissing. Nothing special. Early morning at 7, she wake me up and she said she looks after an elderly lady, she had to be in her house by 8. Anyway, I did not argue with her and did our business and let her go.
I realized that these are battle hardened pro. They will con you anyway they can think of. But without realizing it they missed an employment opportunity for 9/10 days with good pay!
I took Sunday off, no mongering nothing, just lots of European soccer on TV. Monday night around 9 after my supper, I walked into a local bar for a drink. It was only two blocks from my hotel. I sat on those bar stools, trying to practise my Spanish with this knockout woman bar tender. I was thinking to call my taxi driver whom I knew for the last few days ( going back and forth from my host family to the Spanish school). He told me he can show me good times in Lima. There were only few people in the bar. Suddenly this tall bleach blond with a low cut dress walked in. She would be in her mid thirties, my specialty!! (Later she told me she was 32). Obviously She and the bar tender knew each other. Bar tender introduced me to that woman. Her name was Jessica. My Spanish was better than her English. But we could communicate well. I volunteered to buy her a drink. We started talking. I found out that she has a three year old son, the father of the boy took off long time ago. She used to work for a Casino. Now she does not have a job, she needs money. She was quite friendly. I liked her disposition in general. I told her what I have in mind. No money upfront. But she cannot stay for the whole night. She could stay till 3 am because she has to go home by that time for her son. Price: 200 soles and she made clear to me that she does not do anal. I agreed. We took off from the bar. She wanted to eat something, went to a restaurant I paid for it, not too expensive though. What strike me most was that the sandwich she could not finish she bagged it to take home for her son. We went back to my hotel. I took the money from my pocket and showed it to her and put it back into my pocket. I said she would get the money before she goes home. Wow! What a sex! I did not have such good sex for a long time! Best part was she was into it. We were resting after our deed, I hand her the money. She thanked me so many times for the money I paid her. She said she did not have any money even to buy food. She did not work for three weeks. I really felt sad for her. Then I offered her my long term deal which is: everyday for 8 nights ( except last Monday of my trip 3 to 6pm) 6 to 3pm, good food, good times around town, how much? I was surprised at her asking price: US$50 for every night, paid at the end of the night. I thought that was low. I was happy to take the offer. I told her to dress modestly, so we did not draw undue attention when we go to a club or a restaurant.
Tuesday evening she showed up at my hotel right on time. She jumped on me the moment the door was closed, not the other way around! What a pleasant surprise! Needless to say I was so pleased with her services. Over the week and weekends we went to cultural shows, salsa dance clubs, for dancing, to ordinary restaurants where tourists normally do not eat. We did something every evening.
She showed up in my hotel every evening right on the dot. Her son's birthday was one Friday. I gave her extra US$20 on Thursday night to buy a gift for her son. Wow, what a reaction I got. she chocked up! She kept on thanking me. At the end of every evening meal she asked me if she could order for a desert which she was not going to eat, but take home for her son. I always happily obliged. Next evening she would tell me how much her son enjoyed that desert. Being a parent myself, I realized your children come first.
Jessica made my trip to Lima worthwhile. I am not into young women nor going from club to club. I like MILF. At my age, I enjoy the company of a beautiful woman as much as sex. Jessica had all the qualities of a pro to make an old man like me happy. I treated her with respect and generosity, she reciprocated. If I go back to Lima next year, probably she will be my guide again.
Happy mongering.
Terrible incident in Lima - warning to others
A friend of mine sent the following report to me. Could someone verify this incident?
Thanks,
John from Holland
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"The incident happened to me several days ago, but I will only write about it now, that I have left Peru. I was travelling in Lima shortly after dusk. I attended a meal at the apartment of a friend, and was walking back to my rental car. I know that this part of Lima is not the safest after dark, but I have been there before at this same hour, and while there is some menace, I have never been accosted. I have travelled in Peru before, so I am not a virgin to security precautions and the street dangers of Lima. I was not making ignorant moves, or wearing flashy items. I was modest and walked with confidence."
"The distance to my car was perhaps 100 metres from my friend's apartment. The area was not very populated. It was mostly empty of pedestrians. After I began to walk, I noticed that two piraņitas (street children) were following me. I walked briskly to avoid them. It is very sad to see these children, but it is best not to have dealings with them, because many are drugged or seek to rob. At 20 metres or so from my car, one of the children made a whistle noise, and four teenagers emerged from an alley. They approached me from the front, with the two children approaching from the back. I moved laterally away from all of them, but they converged toward me."
"I understood this was robbery. And it was. One of the teens demanded my wallet, so I produced it without struggle. Then he demanded my shoes, which is the location of some extra money I had stored. I began to comply when another teen withdrew a pistol from his waistband and struck me with it."
"This is where the robbery became terrible and also tragic, because I panicked. When I am in Lima, I carry a semi-automatic pistol. Without a thought, I swept the pistol into my palm and began firing before I even gained my target. I fired all 15 rounds into the crowd of children and teens. I did not have time to see the results, just several teens laying on the ground, because I broke into a panic sprint to my car. I jumped in the car then drove away fast. I did not return. I did not go to the police. I left the neighborhood, and then I left the country."
"I can confess this tragedy now because I am not in Peru. The action was for self defense. But I feel terrible. I just want travellers to know that there is nothing to gain in carrying a pistol, just a lot of nightmares and tragedies. I am sad for Lima because it is a city tearing apart with crime. I hope my tragedy can be a warning for others."
