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Also wondering, is the "marriage fee" the actual marriage?
If not, what is a traditional Thai ceremony, assuming it is any different from a western-style wedding?
Someone mentioned that a poor girl was cheaper on the marriage
fee, while a wealthier girl isn't often seen by western tourists.
Why is this so? What do these more wealthy girls offer that a
poorer, less wealthy girl doesn't, besides perhaps education?
I've heard somewhere that sometimes a girl will bail on you, even after you've shelled out thousands for a marriage fee. Is this more common with a poorer girl, or for all?
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ChrisC30 do not take this in the wrong way, but you need to understand Asian culture alot more before you get marry to a Thai Girl. If this is why you are asking these questions.
This fee has nothing to do with the ceremony. This is a common fee paid to a family in respect to them. A better term for this fee, is a present to the family by you, to be able to marry their daughter. The reason for the differences in the amount paid to a family, as to do with their status in Thai social class. Basically 1000 Baht to a farmer and 1000 Baht to Business exec. means different things.
On girls bailing, this would common at all levels. How to know this is not going to happen, the following is a few things you can do. I do not know much about you, and how you and the girl got together, but here some information;
--First insure that you know the girl. There is no way you know a girl after 2 weeks of being together, not even after 6 months. This is not done by sending e-mail, etc, it will help, but this is not a relationship. This done by see each other daily for months and months. Anybody can live the fantasy life over internet, letters and phone calls. Some of the TG will do anything for the money, include coming hours from a marriage or even getting marry for a few years to get more money to help her and her family.
--Next make sure she is willing to take you to her home, and has you meet the family and friends at home. Not just the friends from work, the people from the home town. Because in a Asian marrage, you are just marrying the girl, YOU ARE MARRYING HER FAMILY TOO! You will be helping the family one way another.
--See if she willing to go to your home country to live for any period of time before the marrage. Sometime this is hard because of Visa laws in your home country.
--The best is thing, is as rude as this sounds , go for a test drive on the marriage thing before you get married. Live together for a while.
--Make sure she loves you for you and does not love you for your money. This happens alot! Sometime this is hard to find out the truth.
--Read books and look for any information on marriages to asian. To know what you are getting into!
--Also look for local support groups in your local area, to support the girl in gaining the information that she would need to make the changes to your country.
Make sure you know what you are getting into. Marrages to Asians can be good and can be very bad, why go down the hard road.
If you have more question, e-mail them to me at jimhart69@hotmail.com.
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jimhart69 -
Thanks for the advice. I do know alittle about asian culture, just trying to separate the fact from fiction, and get abit of info on the specifics.
I've been corresponding with the TG for afew weeks via email and live internet chat. So far it's nothing serious, just looking to the future if it should come up.
I like to know what I'm getting into before it happens. No stranger to asian culture, but didn't know the specifics of Thai culture, as every country has its own little nuances.
A "test drive" doesn't sound like a bad idea. I agree, getting to know someone via emails and letters can provide information to an extent, but it's best to spend real time with them to know their moods and little quirks to their personality firsthand.
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Chris,
I got his from a website:
The dowry is supposed to be a gift to thank the parents of the bride for raising their daughter - which is generally cash - and practically to cover the wedding expenses. The bride's family generally takes responsibility for the wedding ceremony and traditional Thai weddings are expensive.
The following analysis by a farang teaching at a university was published in the Bangkok Post, October 13th, 2000:
Although there are no absolutes, the amount of the dowry is pretty well fixed vis-a-vis the girl's social standing and is rarely negotiated. If the girl comes from a good family (i.e. honest, not necessarily rich), a good portion is usually returned to the bride and groom.
A symbolic show of commitment on the part of the prospective groom, indicating his ability to support his bride, it is given back to help the new couple start their life together.
In general, the amounts according to social standing are as follows:
* Lower-class up-country girl, 30,000 to 50,000
* middle-class girl, 50,000 to 100,000
* upper middle-class girl, 100,000 to 200,000_
* upper-class girl, 200,000 plus.
* For a girl from a well-established Thai family, expect to pay 1,000,000 and up.
As for bar girls: What they should get (about 20,000 to 30,000 Baht ) and what they demand (whatever the traffic will bear) is outside this tradition as they have no social standing in the minds of the Thais, and aren't known to follow the rules (i.e. they keep all the money).
The chances of any farang getting into the 200,000 strata is pretty remote, if not nearly impossible. At that level, the Thais are a particularly clannish and exclusive lot, viewing most farang as barbarians, even if they are rich.
....
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I expect it will be brought to my attention, should things go that way. I asked at a forum like this because I'm not quite dumb enough to speak directly to her about it (and risk alienating her, or worse making her think things are getting to that point), but as I mentioned before I like to know what I'd be getting into beforehand.
The chinese girl seems to be far more talkative lately, so the Thai may be doubtful anyway.
Setting aside actual marital arrangements, anyone have any suggestions if someone were looking for a "steady" girlfriend in Thailand (as opposed to the trial and error method of banging alot of bar girls and hoping one becomes attached)?
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ChrisC30,
I have a quick questions for you; I take it you have decided that you want to marry a Asia Girl, which is great, but going about it like buying a car can be a problem later. Where do you live? How much time have you spent in Asia? How much time are you planning to spend with the girl before you get married? Remember, there is more to a marriage than the bedroom. Which alot of the western guys fall in love with the sex and do not think about the rest.
Go on a long test drive before the marrage, is great way to know each other. But, in most cases to going for the long test drive is impossable, because you do not work and live in that country.
I am not saying marring a club girl is a good or bad thing, but I had many friend marry club girls, and some time the trust thing is hard to have from both sides. And thus the marriage ends.
I have heard some hard stories about guys marrying TG's, to the point of missing body parts. No good! I would think hard about marrying a girl without having a good knowledge of the girl and the culture. Good Luck!
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I haven't "decided" on marrying an Asian necessarily, but I've reached that point in my life (30 years old) when I want to have a family, and basically fed up with american girls (live in Florida).
For some reason I tend to be drawn towards asians, but I can find attraction pretty much anywhere, just how it turned out.
I don't look at it like buying a car, I'm simply asking for some bits of advice regarding the situation.
I've been interested in asian culture for years, spent abit of time there (alittle under 5 years, give and take), know enough not to be surprised at by being referred to as a "farang" in Thailand, as well as the other terms they use here and there to refer to westerners.
I don't imagine I'd go looking to marry a club girl at all, not saying I'd turn one down. It's possibly my sense of self preservation to assume that if I tried to settle down with a club girl I'd get taken for every cent I own. I tend to be more attracted to the type who doesn't frequent the bars/clubs, difficult to find, but possible.
Most of the "girlfriends" I've had who were of asian descent were Thai, but many were here in the US (born/raised) so it's hard to compare their demeanor to a traditional TG.
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Chris,
I totally understand your feeling on American woman, and if you are open to new ideas in life, being married to a Asian girl can be great! The born and raise Asian Girls in the U.S. are not like the real thing. Why don't you send me a e-mail to my e-mail address, [email]jimhart69@hotmail.com[/email]. And I can tell you more! Also I'm coming to Florida on business tomorrow!
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Has anyone been to Hua Hin, Chang Am area. It is about 2, 3 hours drive south of Bangkok. I shall be very grateful if any recommendation is offerred.
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i can give you some update on hua hin;
nice, quiet little seaside city, p4p scene is all bars
maybe 30 - 50 (?) bars with girls in varying quality, although the (looks) level is generally lower than in bkk
no MP's or gogo's
prices, as far as i can remember:
barfine around 400 - 600 bht, LT 1000 bht
all bars are in a small street (and a few sidestreets) smack in the center of town
cannot remember the name or better directions, but hua hin is so small, do not worry you will find them.
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NEW YEAR’S CELEBRATION IN THAILAND
All,
First a little background history on me: For the past 6 years I have been celebrating the coming of the New Year in a different country. As an example - Going back to 2002 it was Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. In 2001 I was in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Last year my adventures took me to Angeles City, Philippines. I’m assuming that the celebration of New Years is not a big deal in Thailand but I've decided to make it this year's destination anyway.
I am really a newbie when it comes to vacationing in Thailand. I've been in-country on several occasions but only twice on holiday. Besides the obvious (Bangkok) I could sure use some recommendations on where to go to celebrate. Yea, girls are obviously needed in the equation but I am looking for somewhere were the festivities might be similar to what most Farangs would expect. I would expect that anywhere were there is a high concentration of expatriates could be a place to go but I just don’t know enough about it.
Thanks in advance for your recommendations!
...(prog)
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Celebrate in Pattaya, or, if you BYOG and plan to be there for afew days, try Koh Phi Phi Island (twin moon bays I believe it's translated to).
Koh Phi Phi is breathtaking as far as the scenery goes, and can be quite a diversion if you aren't looking for a crowd of beer-guzzlers.
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Thank you guys for your useful tips for Hua Hin. I am sure I will have a good time. Really, really appreciate it. I hope I would contribute a bit more once I am back from my trip to Thailand.
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Greetings, requesting some info here on a place called Korat. The last time I was there was during my VN days. Used to fly in there when we were getting hit and some of the most greatest times of my life. There was one very large 10 story hotel, think built for only aircrews. The town I think was very small and there was a Royal Thai Airforce Base there. There used to be many bars, prices really cheap etc. Thinking about a trip to Thailand next year and if there is still anything there in the way of good bars, party etc might stop there for a day or two to get out of BKK. Any info on the current status would be appreciated. I know that 30 plus years probably has changed it drastically-- maybe for the better.? Thanks devildog
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Hey, what happen to some of the responses to my New Year's request? I could have sworn Freeler had made some recommendations and comments. Could you post about it again? I think you recommended Hua Hin(sp?). I didn't plan on bringing my own entertainment so what are the pickings like there? What about Phuket?
...(prog)