Had a very busy Friday night last night. I am still jet lagged as hell, and it started off pretty slow, when the two gentlemen from this forum who asked me to show them around Moscow never showed up for our strelka at Real McCoy. That place I'm really not sure how I feel about. You're pretty much guaranteed to get laid there, but it's really crowded and trashy and girls are rarely above average. Most importantly it starts real early and empties pretty fast, and I always leave there alone just because I keep hoping to find something better later in the night.
This night was no exception. I got there around 10:30, the place was packed but I didn't see anyone worth ending the night so early. I stood by the bar like an idiot and chugged beers. 45 minutes and 2 beers on an empty stomach later all the girls began to seem real attractive, my wingmen did not answer their phone, and that was my cue to leave.
It was still only 11:15 so pretty early for anything else. On the way to real McCoy I noticed this place called Ofis nearby, which I knew was a strip club. I gave myself a task for this trip to explore all the underreported and unknown clubs in Moscow, so I figured I might as well check it out for an hour, and then head to Parisian Life - which, like McCoy, is also pretty much a guaranteed freebie lay. Can't say I liked Ofis at all. Girls were barely of Shandra quality (i.e mostly skanks), privats were 1,000 r but I did not partake since I did not see a single girl that was worth it. Most of them offered sex right away, for 200-300 bucks an hour plus 100 bucks for the room. Bleegh. Who sets those prices? The only positive thing I can say about the place is that the dancers walk off the stage fully nude and sometimes give you table dances just like that. Anyway, I spent only about 30 minutes in there, during which I unwisely switched from beer to Jack, and as I got up to leave I realized I was much drunker than I had thought.
Scoring freebies now seemed like too much of a hassle. I figured I'd head down to Honey where two of my stripper friends were working that night, and take them home. Got into a cab, the driver didn't know where it was, and I only vaguely remembered it being somewhere off Sretenka. We drove around for 15 minutes and could not find it. I don't know if the place closed or something, because I remember it having a large sign clearly visible from the main street. Anyway, we passed Oh La La ten times while driving around in circles but I didn't feel like going there, and instead went to Safari Lodge.
Safari Lodge, well, is another place I'm on the fence about. Extremely tight and packed, next to impossible to get a seat, and filled with skanks. On the other hand, very cheap and you meet a real stunner or two almost every time. Last night it was absolutely jam packed, I couldn't get a seat and somebody would bump into me every 10 seconds or so. Fortunately I saw this really cute Charlize Theron lookalike, exactly my type, who I saw once before but couldn't get. Her price for an hour of sex was only 5,000 r, including the room and everything. Now that's what I'm talking about. Only 19 years old, perfect tight body, unbelievably passionate. Anything bad I ever said about Safari Lodge, I take it back.
After sex the night was still young and I found a seat (!!!) so I hung around for another hour or so. As I kept getting lap dances and downing old No 7 quality Tennessee sour mash Whiskey, I realized I did not want to go home alone. My attempts to get any kind of interaction beyond the podarok from any dancers failed miserably. At around 2:45 I left the place and asked one of the drivers parked outside to take me around the Garden Ring tochkas.
Now, the dude I got was a real diamond in the rough. I don't know how I managed not to get his phone number. He was driving a black Volga with a police siren / buzzer thing, blue flashing lights, government-style curtains in the rear, etc. Cops all but saluted him as he sped past them going the wrong way down one-way streets. We visited I think 5 or 6 tochkas, where I was alarmed to find 9,000 and even 10,000 rouble categories virtually everywhere! The girls in those categories seemed to be chosen not for looks but for attitude, and the cheaper ones actually offered much better choices. I fear though the time is rapidly approaching when even a decent tochka fuck will cost you 300 bucks plus.
Anyway, all the girls I liked seemed to have bad attitudes - either very gloomy or extremely uncooperative (where will you take me? how many will there be?). I can't stress this hard enough, that the most important thing about a tochka girl is her attitude. She's gotta be real positive, friendly and relatively sober, otherwise you'll have trouble getting anything out of her. Finally I found a very nice girl named Lena on the larger Karetnyi Ryad tochka, for 7K. 21 yo from Ukraine, tall and slim brunette with a pretty face, bruise on her knee and half of her nail extensions missing. She entertained me with charming stories of how I was her second client of the night, after a really nice Turk who she stole some cigarettes from; and how the girl for 10,000 r is really crazy, like completely insane - but what would you expect from someone who watcher her father murder her mother with an axe? Ah. But the sex was good, she really seemed to be into it, stayed until the morning and did it again with even more passion.
So there you have it. Tochkas win again.
