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[blue]BTW, the word "Nampa" apparently refers to the sport of picking up regular chicks n the street in Japan.[/blue]
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Please select "Add New Report" to begin this section.
[blue]BTW, the word "Nampa" apparently refers to the sport of picking up regular chicks n the street in Japan.[/blue]
Hello!
As first poster to this section I feel obligated to list a couple of personal favorite places to practice nampa or nanpa and some emperical information on the subject.
Nanpa or nampa: picking up a person for sex or date in a public place.
1) Here is a link to the offical nanpa site which can give you some extra information on the subject - albeit in Japanese http://www.nanpa.ne.jp/
2) Japanese culture is heavily influenced by 'honne' and 'tatemae' which means --
'honne' - expressing your true self or inward feelings
'tatemae' - expressing your given self or outward feelings
3) So what does this mean? Well, for example if you walk up to a woman and ask if she would like to go out for dinner here are her possible answers:
'tatemae' - 'oh thank you but I must go to a meeting this evening' basically a polite excuse not to. but notice! No evidence of YES or NO to your request.
'honne' - 'thank you, I am fine now' basically a polite NO.
4) Nanpa works by bridging the gap between the tatemae and the honne. Always assume YES and try to encourage companionship without being rude or direct - you should also use 'tatemae' in reverse.
5) Now the specifics:
a) Young japanese women 19 - 25 may be difficult target. Especially if they are cute and well dressed. You will compete with men who most likely can provide everything they (girls) want - 3x over. And in fact, most of those girls have more money in savings then you will retire with. So with that in mind - where you DO have advantage is easy - you are gaijiin! And many of these women aspire to live anywhere except Japan. They adore western culture, clothes, food, etc. So reinforce those things and don't be shy!
b) Japanese office ladies from 25 - 35 are best targets IMO. Why? They have probably been kicked out of their parent's home or have to care of the old farts. They aren't married and not so desireable because they are too old. Their lives are basically worthless and boring. You represent a big change in their life and something they can gossip about later or live vicariously. So go where these women hang out to have your best chance at nanpa! Don't be surprised if they are out to nanpa you!
c) Locations in Tokyo -
i) Roppongi on Thursdays -> sat. Heartland Bar, Motown, Hideaway, XYZ
ii) Nishi-Azabu on fridays -> sat. Muse
iii) Ebisu on thursdays -> sat. What the Dickens and local wine bars.
iv) Jiyogakoya on thrusdays ->sat. McCarrolans Irish Pub
v) Various - The 'HUB' located in almost every city
vi) Various - The 'Dubliners' located in almost every cite (though its usually packed with many expatriot POM's)
vi) Shibuya - Club Pure, Club Asia, Gas Panic
6) Language issues -
a) Unless you speak japanese, don't bother to learn phrases you can't respond to. But DO learn the polite phrases of thank you, please, etc.
b) Remember - the girls you are after are probably 'looking' for foreign friends - so they probably have some english or other language skills.
7) Utilities -
a) Meishi or business card. Make some nice fake ones that indicate your name, company and title in english and japanese. Also include your cel number and email. You definitely DON'T want to give out your real cards because you might end up with a japanese version of psycho-stalker-from-hell. Trust me on this.
b) Celphone - Get a prepaid celphone for just this hobby. Works good for (a) above.
c) Clothes - Dress nice! Especially your shoes and jacket. You can dress down on pants, etc, but if your shoes and jacket suck, the girl will probably think you are just another cheap nanpa gaijiin.
8) Techniques -
a) There are many. I prefer to follow some of the basic NLP rules of pacing and rapport. Don't waste alot of time - get to the point quickly. If you develop momentum, keep going!
b) Japanese women love unique foods, desserts, etc. So, unless you are in a bar/club environment - a good first line is to ask about interesting place to eat or enjoy a snack.
c) Love Hotels. There's a reason these are popular! Japanese culture doesn't have the judeo-christian hangups about sex. But they do care about being rude to their neighbors. Love Hotels solve the problem by giving couples a great place to make love and not bother their neighbors or families. If you feel good rapport with your girl then just say 'let's go!'. And walk towards the Love Hotels!
Very good post!
If you guys are looking for women at everyday places, not the bars how do you approach them? I am asian american and I don't stick out that much, but what has worked for me in the past is to ask for directions, or read a kanji for me. If I'm in a coffee shop, I sometimes ask a woman to write an address for me in Kanji on an envelope. If it turns out they are interested in travel, english or foreigners, you've got a good chance of getting some free.
Since I am doing the less honorable job of teaching english, I know that a lot of women really want to meet foreigners of any color (probably helps if you are white though) so if you just try enough times you will meet a lot of women. Expect to fail most of the time though.
Anyone have any other ice breaking methods?
There are a few methods that I've used but your mileage may vary. I don't like the bar scene and prefer everyday places, too. If you know an area and can print out the website directions for some coffee shop, tea shop, French bakery, etc., act a little lost and ask a lady (usually an older/30s OL is going to work best) for help with the directions. Since she can read it and you can't, she should be able to guide you there. Of course, this fails many more times than it succeeds as you say, but you have to be vigiliant. If you find one who is not in a hurry and willing to be your guide to the place, you might explain to her that you're meeting your ex-expat buddy and his wife who are coming in from America next week and wants to meet you at this place or something corny like that. It's a natural to offer her tea or coffee at that point.
The other thing you might use is to find some small business such as an office supply, bookstore or travel agency or other business that OLs tend to be comfortable with (don't use a soapland or massage parlor LOL:-) and make up some story about needing to know where it is because you have to pickup something there tomorrow.
I was in Nagoya once and it was the middle of the afternoon and was really looking for directions and asked this rather average looking, older 35-ish OL if she could help me out. She took me to the place and met me for dinner that evening and we had a nice time together, but those chance meetings are extremely rare.
I just found a good spot for Nampa in Yokohama. There is a Gas Panic bar located near the Landmark Plaza (walking distance) that has some regulars and then on Thursday night the place is a popular hangout for the young crowd coming in from Tokyo. We are talking packed. There is also a Hard Rock Cafe in the Landmark plaza basement level.
My nampa tip is after some conversation to just pull out your phone as women love the new phones. Get one that has all the bells and whistles and hang some things off of it for character and to have conversation about. Take a photo of her and you, or something. Then just ask her to put her phone number in your phone then call it immediately to confirm. You then have her phone number and she has yours. Put your name into her phone. Call later and invite out !
Thanks for the great information about nanpa. I'll be in Tokyo for about 6 weeks this summer and would like to try out my luck. Two questions for guys who who have been lucky enough to have a successful encounter:
First, I feel pretty comfortable initiating conversation and doing a little flirting. How and when you "close the sale," so to speak? Usually Japanese like vaguely worded requests that they can politely refuse without giving a blunt "no." My impression, though, is that most Japanese women are waiting for the man to take the lead here, making the suggestion so clearly that they don't have to risk a misundestanding. Do you just come out and suggest running off to a love hotel together? Is there a classy way of saying this? How soon do you make the suggestion? On the first meeting? Or do you ask to meet them again later and then wait to approach them then?
Second, do the women expect that all acts will be with full protection? Oral as well? My Jap. language abilities aren't that good, so I'd like to get clear idea about expectations beforehand.
Thanks.
Wazoo's post reminded me of a situation that happened to me, where cultural differences just about gave me the shock of my life. I was with a date, a real date mind you, a girl I had kind of played private teacher to for three or four previous dates at izakaya and karaoke boxes. (She had been to England for a short study vacation, and studied diligently by herself in Japan.) On the third or fourth date, she finally lets her guard down a bit thanks to the alcohol and we do some heavy petting in her car. She has some kind of garter belt on, but unfastens it herself to allow me better access. I had already mentioned going to a love hotel on a previous date, only to be shot down. But on this night, she says, "Do you want to sex with me?" (I love it when the J-ladies speak bedroom English with one or two cute mistakes included :-) I answer in the affirmative, of course, and off we go to the love hotel, with me at the wheel since she is much smaller and thus more easily affected by the alcohol (not to mention a terrible driver).
While I am driving, I decide to ask about the necessity of using a condom, before I forget in the heat of passion. I say directly, "Do I need to use a condom?" and/or "Should I use a condom?" She says no, clearly, and I am happy. I know she is clean, I know I am clean, and I much prefer doing without one.
Fast forward to the love hotel. I don't know about you guys, but there's something about the first time I see a date naked, especially if I've know her for a while, that kind of is like winning a lottery. This girl (26ish, BTW) has much fuller breasts than I had expected, a very thin waist, and bigger hips than I thought from the way she looked, always wearing miniskirts. In short, a beautiful hourglass figure. Nipples weren't the best (I love nipples that protude), but all in all, very satisfactory.
We do it for some time, the usual positions, and just about when she is starting to get dry for some reason, I shoot my load. Okay, so now it's time to relax a while before cleaning up, right? No! After just a few seconds, she says, "You came inside?" or something like that. She kind of looks worried for a few seconds, causing me no end of worry, but then she kind of laughs and says, "You're DNA is in my body!"
This is not how I like such matters to be expressed, you can understand surely. But she reassures me that everything will be okay, and we leave it at that. On the next date, I ask if everything is okay, and she says smiing, "No problem!" I then remind her that she had said I didn't need a condom, and I took that to mean I could come inside of her, but she tells me Japanese guys usually shoot on the lady's stomach.
Moral of the story: With western ladies, asking if you need to use a condom usually includes (without saying so literally) the question of whether you can come insde or not. If they say you don't need a condom, that usually means not only that you have mutual trust about STDs and the like, but that she is in such a part of her cycle that you are free to enjoy lovemaking naturally and don't need to pull out at the last second. To me, this makes all the difference in the world. But with Japanese ladies, just because they say you don't need a condom does not necessarily mean you get to shoot inside. I had known that Japanese shoot on their partners' stomachs a lot, but I had expected that, by not being asked to wear a condom, this would not be necessary that night for me. Lesson learned. In the future I'll be sure to follow up the condom question with another asking where I can come.
Any similar experiences? Advice?
Wazoo, For the most part the foreigner appeal to many Japanese women is that Western men are more generous, caring, and kinder than Japanese men. Most westerners are short time players in Japan so for those who want to play know there aren`t going to be messy scenes. Many just want the brand of a foreign boyfriend like a Gucci bag or Channel dress, as having a foreign boyfriend is a sign that they are international. So if you are well dressed, have money, and treat them like princesses there are very few who will turn you down.
Many want to get out of Japan and go to either Europe or the United States, you could be their ticket out, be very careful with these. They could be a pain.
sailing and ambassador,
thanks for these great insights. sailing, if the chief attraction of a westerner is that we treat women better, this suggests that the women being pursued would like a few romantic dates before consumation. i can imagine that some speedier opportunities might present themselves at the end of an evening of clubbing. however, i also read here reports from guys who stop and ask an ol for directions and 30 minutes later they are in bed. i just can't figure out how to suggest something like that without looking like a total creep. here (u.s.), one would get slapped or reported to the cops, i think.
ambassador, i'll keep the coming on the stomach thing. i thought that was just for the money shot in porn!
here's one more question: does my very obvious wedding ring help or hurt? my guess is that it would scare off most of the young ones, but it might even make me seem safer to the ones who just want a little fling. any thoughts?
I checked out an international party advertised in the Metropolis Classifieds a couple of months ago and was pretty impressed. This particular one was aimed exclusively for Japanese women interested in meeting foreign men. The party started at 6pm and lasted till 930pm. It was all you can drink during the time allotted and there was even free finger foods to chase your alcohol down with. There was a 2500 yen cover charge with reservations made beforehand and a 3000 yen cover charge at the door. Between 150 to 200 people attended and surprisingly there was a good ratio of women to men. Normally hosted during the weekends, these parties are a good place to flex nampa and sets the tone for the rest of the night especially if you are able to pull a hottie to go club/bar hopping with you. There were a handful of decent looking chicks (mostly Japanese) I was able to speak to and exchange numbers with who ranged from 22 to 31 years old. Unfortunately, that was as far as I got with any of them because I had to work the next day. Shortly after business took me out of country for a while, but I’m willing to definitely check out another if time and schedule permits.
Ambassador,
Just a little story, similar situation as yours I was driving this cute, 18 year old college student home from a night of clubbing and drinking. On the way home I ask how about taking a short rest before going home? She says why not, so quick detour to a love hotel. Knowing this girl is clean and just barely broken in, we get into a tub and fondle each other till I am pretty hot and almost ready to passout. From my college Sex and human physiology class, I learned that sperm can not handle temperatures of over 40 degrees C for any length of time. Her body is also above normal so when we finish up I came inside knowing the chances of her gettting pregnant are slim. I was busy the next couple of weeks after that and my girlfriend at the time was keeping me running around with her alot. I didn`t do the do diligence with the 18 year old. To make a long story short, some time there after I get a call from her saying she is pregnant and needs 80,000 to get it fixed. Since that time I always wear a raincoat. Hey if the girl needs to be fixed, I can say I didn`t break it. Also these days, you need to be really sure of the girl to go bareback as it could kill you.
Have fun and plan to have fun for a loooong time.
Sailing
Interesting story, Sailing. After reading how guys with low sperm counts should avoid hot tubs and baths, I always wondered if it would be effective birth control. But I guess the reality is your (or her) body temp won't go much over 38C without feeling like you have the flu (40C will send you to the hospital).
But I was interested in Ambassador's comment on early withdrawal, since I always thought that was a porn movie thing and not something girls relied on.
Thanks for your story, Sailing. Good to know there are people here looking out for one another :-) And Lion, I saw your post about videos on the General board. Off topic here, but suffice it to say I have boned up on a lot of Japanese language thanks to the AV stores. There's even one here that has a large number of AV titles in three separate robotic retrival systems, so you can check out (and return) videos without any nosy staff people wondering why you are into bukkake, interracial, housewives, outdoors.
Gotta love Japan!
Women in Japan are generally poorly educated on birth control This being a male dominated society, it was not common that a woman ever insisted on the man using a condom (but are times changing?) I have rarely had a Japanese woman insist on a condom-- as in Japan, abortion is an acceptable form of birth control. Wasn't the pill just legalized in Japan a few years ago?
Do you guys know if stds and aids are on the increase? Maybe things will change if this happens.