Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[QUOTE=RasSpewtin]I am adding this report here, as suggested by X Man.

Filipina Chat Sites, My Three Pesos

I joined a Filipina dating site a few weeks back, and my inbox has been absolutely flooded with girls from all over the PI who want to meet up. I have chatted with many, to the point where it sometimes occupies too much of my free time.

Meeting even a reasonable fraction of them is out of the question, as the duration of my trip to the PI in Feb will be 2 weeks, and I will only hit 3 destinations. But I will be one of the guys that actually travels the distance and meets a select few. Sounds like a great way to spend a holiday to me.

On the dating site, I have found a few real gems, a few wastes of time, and a couple of scary-looking trannies. However, in general, they all seem to fall into 3 distinct categories:

1. Very young and innocent young lovelies, who claim to be virgins (and likely are), and want Prince Charming to give them (and sometimes also their families) a better life.

2. Mid-twenties to early-thirties lovelies, who usually have kids and want Prince Charming to give them and their kids a better life.

3. Older and usually not-so-lovelies, that want a man with a pulse and at least a few bills in his wallet.

If I goes well, I may post a few highlights next month. As for the genuinely sweet ones, they will remain private.

Raz[/QUOTE]Date websites are an excellent way to meet Filipinas. I met my wife on a website called Cherry Blossems and before I meet her I had a lot of fun with many on the women from the website. There are also some Filipinas that will introduce you to their cousins, aunts, and sisters to try to give them a better life. My wife and I are going to do a free website to try to find some good american men for her younger sister and some of her single cousins. As for Raz in my experience you are right the filipinas fall into those three areas. There is one more I like to add.

Sweet and hardworking, a filipina that has gone outside the Philippines and has a job in Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, etc.... They are very loving and look for good qualities in a man. They do not look for money because many of them are making decent money.

Bigchez

Bigchez, did not meet my wife on CB, but met many friends. My wife and I still chat there occasionally (I introduced her to the site). I did meet 32 chatters in Davao just before I proposed and took them all to Jack's Ridge, overlooking the city. Actually, I started inviting people 1 month before my trip and it kind of snowballed from there. My now wife was stuck in HK as an OFW and was not amused few of your favorites.by my shenanigans. About half of the ladies are now in the US but we lost track of some who are still in RP.

It was/is a great way to make friends and possibly get to meet a few. I wrote/chatted with hundreds in the 5 years before I made my first trip and met 7 or 8 that stood out. Then I got to meet many more as friends in subsequent trips.

Hello to all,

just a little bit off the topic. I called my gf today (remember its Valentinesday after xmas and before holy week a mayor holiday in PI) and ask what she is going to do at Valentines and she says she was visiting a funeral of her friend.

The mother of her friend died, she had cancer for some time and I would know that girl , cause she was also working in a chat and before she worked at Mistys.

In fact I know the girl and she was always telling that she worked there, cause her mother got sick with cancer and they had to sell the house and thats why she worked there , because she needs money to pay the bills and medicine.

Why do I post here? Just to tell that it s not allways bola2 made up just to get some easy money or some extra cash to support the filipino bf or so.

Personally, it gave me some thinking, cause I only believe what I see, specialy in SEA.

Everyone have a good day!

Blink157

[QUOTE=Blink157]Hello to all,

just a little bit off the topic. I called my gf today (remember its Valentinesday after xmas and before holy week a mayor holiday in PI) and ask what she is going to do at Valentines and she says she was visiting a funeral of her friend.

The mother of her friend died, she had cancer for some time and I would know that girl , cause she was also working in a chat and before she worked at Mistys.

In fact I know the girl and she was always telling that she worked there, cause her mother got sick with cancer and they had to sell the house and thats why she worked there , because she needs money to pay the bills and medicine.

Why do I post here? Just to tell that it s not allways bola2 made up just to get some easy money or some extra cash to support the filipino bf or so.

Personally, it gave me some thinking, cause I only believe what I see, specialy in SEA.

Everyone have a good day!

Blink157[/QUOTE]
Blink
There are many genuine cases of females in need,But there are many bullshitters also.You still have to be on guard.For example,A internet cafe I frequently visit is located on Burgos in Makati.Speaking Filipino and Cebuano,I overhear what the bargirls discuss and once I heard a girl tell her friend,that so far Her Aunt DIED 16 TIMES this year already.Take care and best regards

[quote=blink157]hello to all,

just a little bit off the topic. i called my gf today (remember its valentinesday after xmas and before holy week a mayor holiday in pi) and ask what she is going to do at valentines and she says she was visiting a funeral of her friend.

the mother of her friend died, she had cancer for some time and i would know that girl , cause she was also working in a chat and before she worked at mistys.

in fact i know the girl and she was always telling that she worked there, cause her mother got sick with cancer and they had to sell the house and thats why she worked there , because she needs money to pay the bills and medicine.

why do i post here? just to tell that it s not allways bola2 made up just to get some easy money or some extra cash to support the filipino bf or so.

personally, it gave me some thinking, cause i only believe what i see, specialy in sea.

everyone have a good day!

blink157[/quote]


i agree that sometimes it is true, but the 99% of the time that it is false keeps those who truly need help from receiving that help. so who is at fault here? the girls should not be so quick to embrace the bs side or to accept those who do pull the bs on foreigners. they are at fault not guys who are not willing to believe the bs while trying to peel the layers to see if there is truth. the sad part is on the filipina side.

ff

FF is dead on. And if you have to peal layers, that's already a good reason to just say NO.

I once had a Filipino professor in uni in CA. He said something like , "Filipinos are like the survivors of a sinking ship." "While in the water they'll desperately grab the sides of the lifeboats ... sometimes turning over the boat.". Either everyone survives or no one survives.

Not sure if it makes sense to you, but it made sense to me at the time and still does.

x

[QUOTE=Cebu Local]Blink
There are many genuine cases of females in need,But there are many bullshitters also.You still have to be on guard.For example,A internet cafe I frequently visit is located on Burgos in Makati.Speaking Filipino and Cebuano,I overhear what the bargirls discuss and once I heard a girl tell her friend,that so far Her Aunt DIED 16 TIMES this year already.Take care and best regards[/QUOTE]

The Flips are known for outrageous lies like that. When I worked for a construction company we had to require many documents for a death in the family because all of the employees from the Philippines were claiming the same relatives had died more than once. Funny, but true.

Anyone want to send money? I love the way her ym name changed half way through....to "honest xxx". I used xxx to disguise her email address and names.

BTW, can you actually send money to someone with only a first name? How does the sending money process work at xoom? Don't worry, I'm not planning on sending anything. Just curious.

***
xxxfilipina_woman: I am Just here hopen that someone have a good heart to help me here,...you know i am the one VICTIM of Landslide
X: I'm sorry to hear that.
xxxfilipina_woman: Its Okey baby...I am so much sad to think it
xxxfilipina_woman: I hope you Gonna have willing to help me here baby
X: Are you in Leyte?
Honest xxx: Yeah I am Dear
X: What town?
Honest xxx: ormoc
X: I've made a donation to a charity here in Xland that is helping landslide victims.
Honest xxx: Good
Honest xxx: Baby I am so much needed ur help...I hope you Can do help me....please
X: ?? What do you want me to do?
Honest xxx: Okey Baby..I am Just need a little bit amount for make a Home to stay good and have to sleep with my family baby...
X: OK
Honest xxx: Baby i hope you Are serious to help me here..that i am need a little bit amount to make a home to stay good bbay
X: But I don't know how.
Honest xxx: Okey Baby You there a way cheaper you Could send the money to me...and its really can big help with me baby....
X: How?
Honest xxx: [url]www.xoom.com/sendmoney[/url]
X: Okay, I'll try.
Honest xxx: Just click that web site and you can go them web site Baby
X: What's your name?
Honest xxx: I am xxx
X: I think I need an address or full name or account number....I can't just send money to "xxx".

I married a pinoy, and, from my experience, I can claim that she, and some of her friends, are very materialistic. If I did not pay the bills, she'd be gone! She goes 'home' (as she calls it) every year for a few weeks while I take care of our kids. Before marriage, she was very sweet. Now she is happy when she has new clothes (almost every week!) and I am 'loved' as provider. She, like many other pinoy, are too close to her siblings, cousins etc and all of them want 'goodies' whenever she visits. I would not marry a pinoy if I had my time over again. My advice - beware!!

[QUOTE=Ray Black]I married a pinoy, and, from my experience, I can claim that she, and some of her friends, are very materialistic. If I did not pay the bills, she'd be gone! She goes 'home' (as she calls it) every year for a few weeks while I take care of our kids. Before marriage, she was very sweet. Now she is happy when she has new clothes (almost every week!) and I am 'loved' as provider. She, like many other pinoy, are too close to her siblings, cousins etc and all of them want 'goodies' whenever she visits. I would not marry a pinoy if I had my time over again. My advice - beware!![/QUOTE]

I suspect you mean "Pinay" (vrs "Pinoy"), unless of course you married (ugghhhh! bakla!

To the issue, well, what did you expect? Is that so much different than in whatever country you're originally from? Certainly boiling it all down isn't that much different than in NorthAmerica, and actually better than there. That stated, have you given her a way for *her* to pay the bills for her, her family, and you? What profitable business did you set up for her to manage and earn income to pay your mutual bills? If not, try it! Pinay do have some pride and (yes of course there are exceptions); most Pinay will be much more appreciative if you give them the means to fish for a lifetime for their immediate family (YOU!) and your mutual extended family, rather than you just throw them a few fish (pesos) daily. It's not unusual for me to tell akin bayau (brothers-in-law) that my wife paid for our drinks tonight. Works for me.

Speaking of "siblings", this is a good opportunity to mention just how highly I regard akin asawa's siblings. They ride shotgun for me, and we provide alibies as best we can for each other. We all have the same problem, the same problem that afflicts any male in anything other than a short-term relationship, which succinctly is that good sex goes from 3 times a day to once a month - if you have a good month! You don't like, it, break it off and start over. Doesn't matter what country. Or, deal with it together with *her* siblings (who have exactly the same needs) and have yourself a good life (which I will post another update on as soon as I have time - look in the Manila forum for past, present, and future on that, since it encompases Malate and the rest of Metro Manila, Las Pinas, and northern Cavite.).

Back to siblings .... we provide mutual alibies as much as we can, and we go out together as much as we can for as long as we can. Of course, we do take a bit of time out seperately (while we're "together") to have some fun with the current catch-of-the-day. Give thanks for your SO's large family, and be especially happy when they come back from their OFW contract and blow a bunch of hard currency on your needs in appreciation of what you did for them the last few years. It's fun to set them up with a nice girl too. It's fun just getting together for food and drinks on nights we can't convince the wives why we need to go out. It's fun when we do go out comparing who got who for "love" vrs what the odd-one-out had to pay for (or we paid for him). All in all, I wouldn't want to be without them!!!!!!!!

[QUOTE=X Man]FF is dead on. And if you have to peal layers, that's already a good reason to just say NO.

I once had a Filipino professor in uni in CA. He said something like , "Filipinos are like the survivors of a sinking ship." "While in the water they'll desperately grab the sides of the lifeboats ... sometimes turning over the boat.". Either everyone survives or no one survives.

Not sure if it makes sense to you, but it made sense to me at the time and still does.

x[/QUOTE]

My Pinay wife periodically mentions the Pinoy "crab mentality", which I think pisses her off even more than it bothers me. Picture a bunch of crabs trying to get to the top of the heap by pulling down anyone higher. It's real. Unless well-incented at the outset, anything resembling teamwork here is an exception.

If you are living in the Philippines with plenty of time and want an easy way to find a live-in gal that won't be after you for marraige. Here is what I did.

I got on [url]www.adultfriendfinder.com[/url] and searched only for women that were seperated. Divorce is not permitted in the Philippines so marriage is out of the question. I had a 24 yearold beauty to move in with me in only a week and I'm an old man, not a young handsome guy.

I've bought her a few things in the last 6 months, perhaps $150..00 worth of stuff, mostly clothes.

[QUOTE=CanContrib]My Pinay wife periodically mentions the Pinoy "crab mentality", which I think pisses her off even more than it bothers me. Picture a bunch of crabs trying to get to the top of the heap by pulling down anyone higher. It's real. Unless well-incented at the outset, anything resembling teamwork here is an exception.[/QUOTE]It has something to do with the Cultural tradition."walang iwanan"Nobody gets left behind or "samasama" all together.If a guy succeeds by advancing,He has"betrayed"them by leaving them behind.Sort of like a Filipino movie I watched,Where the hero goes off to the states and becomes successfull but is lonely being separated from the family and gang,So he gives it all up to return to the PI and its a happy ending.He has less money but he is happy,Go figure.Anyway my 2 centavos opinion

It also depends upon who they hang out with here. I notice changes in my wife, sometimes subtle, sometimes not, when she starts a friendship with a new group of Filipinas.

She was an OFW in Singapore and HK, a "good girl" from a poor family in Ilocos and not materialistic, would get pissed at me for sending her (or her family) simple gifts. She is a good buffer on the few requests tha we have received in the last 4 years, offering reasonable compromises. Our financial status has hopefully stabilized, but I'm making about 25% of what I made 5 years ago, so we are the "nots" mixed in with a few groups of "haves".

A friend from Hawaii gave me some good advice when we were in Cebu 5 years ago and I follow it to this day. When her behavior changes, I don't stand for it, just tell her to straighten up (in other words, appropriate to the situation).

3 years ago she had a "tampo" episode one night a few weeks before she was (possibly) going home for a visit. She came out of the bedroom with tears in her eyes and said "Hoooney, I'm sorry" ( I was pissed), and I asked her what day she wanted to leave. She excitedly told me and asked when she would return. I said "Return? Who said anything about you returning?" We laughed about it later, but I think she knows my philosophy and it has not changed.

[QUOTE=Harvey Wb]It also depends upon who they hang out with here. I notice changes in my wife, sometimes subtle, sometimes not, when she starts a friendship with a new group of Filipinas. QUOTE]
Harvey has absolutely the right idea. I've found, in my now 2+ years of living with the same woman that from time to time, you need to make the rules clear. In my case, it's simple. Anything that causes stress in the home or in my life, and that can be removed, gets removed. I had enough hassles with life in America, and I'm too old and too selfish to tolerate more of them now. I'm lucky, in that my lady understands this and she goes well out of her way to make sure that life in our home is as hassle-free as possible.

I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I do not want another "partnership between equals," where we discuss differences of opinion and debate endlessly what may be an amicable resolution. This may be because I invariably lost such debates even after thinking that a reasonable compromise had been reached. Life is simpler now in that I decide the way it's going to be. If this is harsh, so be it. If this is selfish, well, I' at a stage at which I figure I've earned the right to be somewhat ego-centered.

One of the nicest things about the PI, in my opinion is the option that it offers to structure your life, especially your domestic situation, pretty much the way you want it to be. Why recreate the same levels of stress that prompted you to leave your home country?

:D

GE