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I've now encountered Chinese women in several countries. (I do not live in China.) A lot of them come across as very genuine, interested in enduring relationships, marriage and green card. I have now fallen for one of these in a big way. I think she would make a great wife. Clearly the green card and jump to a better lifestyle are a big incentive for her. She is 18 years younger than me. I wonder whether she would commit to me permanently. Views, anyone?
The same as any other relationship. You have to judge it on your interaction. Some good and some bad. By the way, the green card is not the great path to heaven that it was in the past.
You maybe right Manonsanboy but being a ***** in the U.S. or Europe is way better then being in China. I know a lot about the Chinese in Southern California (San Gabriel Valley) I have been offered numerous times to marry someones dauther, sister or friend for $20,000 just be careful if it sounds to good to be true it is not true!
If you go to any Asian dating service you can find 18 to 50 year old women some already marrien some not looking for husbands and sugar daddy's that's what they are there for to facilitate immigration. Some of there parent put them up to do things like this be careful!
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Three X
[i]You maybe right Manonsanboy but being a ***** in the U.S. or Europe is way better then being in China. I know a lot about the Chinese in Southern California (San Gabriel Valley) I have been offered numerous times to marry someones dauther, sister or friend for $20,000 just be careful if it sounds to good to be true it is not true!
If you go to any Asian dating service you can find 18 to 50 year old women some already marrien some not looking for husbands and sugar daddy's that's what they are there for to facilitate immigration. Some of there parent put them up to do things like this be careful! [/i][/QUOTE]
Three X. I think you are getting close to what I'm on about. At the stage of the relationship the $ signs seem more important to her than the romance although she continues to push all the right buttons with me in an amazing way. She's also a lady who's in the AMP business. I want to know what the long term scenario is. Can I turn this into a proper situation which will last into my old age, given the 18 year age difference? Anyone out there been thru this with a Chinese?
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lubricate It
[i]Three X. I think you are getting close to what I'm on about. At the stage of the relationship the $ signs seem more important to her than the romance although she continues to push all the right buttons with me in an amazing way. She's also a lady who's in the AMP business. I want to know what the long term scenario is. Can I turn this into a proper situation which will last into my old age, given the 18 year age difference? Anyone out there been thru this with a Chinese? [/i][/QUOTE]
I think each situation is unique to its own. There may be similarities, but to the extent people and their motivations are different, relationships will be different. I for one, was not looking for anything when I fell in love with a lovely Chinese girl. I have to say that I think my situation differs in that my girl has no desire to emmigrate. She likes her life in China just fine and learning a new culture and language for her is more trouble than it's worth.
As for the age difference, I say forget about it. Who cares. It's very common in China to see middle aged men with young ladies in their early twenties. My girl's previous boyfriend is 42. He was 39 and she was 19 when they met. Situations like this are not uncommon in China. We may refer to it as "robbing the cradle," but they see it as something normal and they don't see anything wrong with it. As long as you're fine with it, she'll be fine with it.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lubricate It
[i]Three X. I think you are getting close to what I'm on about. At the stage of the relationship the $ signs seem more important to her than the romance although she continues to push all the right buttons with me in an amazing way. She's also a lady who's in the AMP business. I want to know what the long term scenario is. Can I turn this into a proper situation which will last into my old age, given the 18 year age difference? Anyone out there been thru this with a Chinese? [/i][/QUOTE]
Hey buddy I went thur the sh't with on cAmp girl in Riverside California and I know most of their tricks and stuff!
1. You will never get the truth only more lies!
2. You may not be the only one! (Everytime a buisnessman came in my "friend" alway got a buisness card)!
3. All of her friend do it or have done what she is doing!
4. Do you know her real name.
5. Is she really divorced!
6. cAmp girls can be bad for you health!
7. You should get a good lawyer if you marry her.
8. Does she have a Chinese boyfriend, do you know who she speaks to on the phone!
9. When she speaks english it is a American guy she is talking to.
10. Is she in a dating service most of them are! Go to the area she lives and look for her picture in the dating service and some of her friends also!
11. Most women use their emotion to fuck with your head. She can't beat you up for some money nor a green card so she will use other means ie... pussy, love, save me from this job BS!
I know the game buddy! Believe me it is not pretty but Asian guys go thur this shit way more then you of I ever will, they except them and marry and let them work for years.
Of course Chinese girls are famed for their golddigging reputations............unlike our sweeties back home eh lads.
Check out the view in 1933!
Get real all relationships are about give and take. Can't take the filthy stuff with you!
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Rayman
[i]Of course Chinese girls are famed for their golddigging reputations............unlike our sweeties back home eh lads.
Check out the view in 1933!
Get real all relationships are about give and take. Can't take the filthy stuff with you! [/i][/QUOTE]
Of course you can't take it with you and I am being real! If he is looking for love then I think he should look somewhere else that's all. Beside he might give and she might take it all! Not the mention the embarrasment around his friends and family he will have to put up with if she is running a "game" on him. You got to love them with your brain buddy not your heart.
Yup you're right you can't take it with you that why he should give it to someone who gives a shit about him and his welfare.
If he wants some give and take go to Thailand. Cuba, Vietnam or the Philipines for a more equadible exchange! (sorry about the spelling)
Manonsanboy, Moody, Three X and Rayman
Thanks your comments. There are pretty strong resonances in what each of you says.
The vibes are excellent. We want each other bad. She has given me the address and telephone number of her parests and they aren't fake.
There are some shit downsides. We live in Tokyo. She has a "sham" marriage to a Japanese 15 years older than me, so she can work here. She screws him. But he offers her a good deal, and all I can give her is promises. In her economic circumstances that's a rational decision for her. If I don't marry her she would probably live with him forever. She is faithful to him (she moved in with him some time after first meeting me).
My wife wants to contest divorce. In my present jurisdiction (Japan) a contested divorce is virtually impossible. Because of work I have to stay in this jurisdiction another 2 years. Even if I could visit another jurisdiction somewhere else for a "quickie" divorce the wife would create a huge scene which would impact badly on my work here.
It's hell, but my inclination is strongly to follow through with it two years down the track. It's because she offers more than any woman I have ever met!
Lub it,
The only permanent is change. You are possibly asking too much. In US is easy, sign a prenub, and marry her. Nothing much to lose. Everybody is happy, everybody has a good deal, why not. The downside? I know a woman in SGV, LA, an ex-model who married to a rich resturant owner. They have a prenub, and he doesn't give her much money to spend. She prostitutes and he doesn't know.
Oh please, don't be shy about your age. You just turn people off. Is it something like that you can be her father, and that her husband can be her grandfather?
She is probably doing as a chinese saying, riding a cow, looking for a horse. Once she got a horse, she may want a porche, but no porche may want her. That's life.
Time will tell. To be sure, date her for as long as you want. If she really likes you and there's no other men, she will wait. I wouldn't worry about the mileage on her, that old men probably couldn't do much damage.
Lub-it.
Do what you want, don't have any regrets (important!) and don't let the pessimists get to you.
We all know these stories of unfaithfulness and cheating, and they have no creed and culture boundaries.....west and east. I know several western lasses who put out whenever the hubbies away.........and not for something tangible like money/love but just for the kick!!
Nevertheless, take things easy, no rush mate - whatever you have to wait two years...
Just one thing on the age. If she is 18 and you are 36 the gap is huge in terms of maturity and 'what she wants out of life' As she gets older she may change - we all do and most changes occur when we are young. However if she is 30 and you are 48 ....well that gap is nothing at all.
Ray
We never said that western women don't cheat but , when she is a hooker she is not the ideal you would love to give your heart too!
Ahhhhhhh....not ideal of course but if only one could control to whom one gives ones heart to.....:-)) But better than being alone into your old age or married to someone that you regret being married to and forever harking back to that girl in Shanghai (or whereever) that you left behind.
Should i be banned for being too romantic? Perhaps.
Have to say though many (not all mind) of the working girls/women i come across in China hook for necessity or because they like it and not because they have some awful character flaw. Hence the number of students who earn cash in the KTV's who later will be successful in marriage and in work. I presume!!
[QUOTE][i]
Have to say though many (not all mind) of the working girls/women i come across in China hook for necessity or because they like it and not because they have some awful character flaw. Hence the number of students who earn cash in the KTV's who later will be successful in marriage and in work. I presume!![/i][/QUOTE]
I think that's in some cases true. I had lived with a KTV girl for a while. Her roommates also work in KTV. They work in KTV because there is very few jobs available for a farm girl, even with a high school degree, to get a job in the country or in the city.
Different stories to differnt roommates.
One moved up to live with a suger daddy and is now getting high all the time. Cheating on his suger daddy all the times.
Another one put all the money she made in KTV into his boyfriend's shop back home. Now, she's working in the shop and visit customers all days. Last time she came back for a visit, she's all tanned and lost at least 10 pounds. Hardly using any makeup these days and not making nowhere near the tips she was getting in the KTV. But she seems happy.
I think a couple things to put China's situation apart from other countries.
China's establishment is hardly controlled by organized crime like else where. Well, some of them are controlled by gangs but these gangs are nowhere near the scale of the organized crimes in other countries. Honestly, can you image Chinese government tolerate an large organized crime like Mafia in the US or Yakuza in Japan?
The eatablishments are more like business. KTV girls pay the companies to get into work everyday instead of being forced into the work. There are no gangs to pay off at the end of the day, just the management up front. With plenty of supply of young, pretty girls from the country side everyday, the management of these establishment has no desire to force anyone to work.
So, what's the KTV jobs come down to? If she likes to party, a night of free drinking, signing and dancing with pay. On tips along, some good looking girls can make more then average college graduated white collar workers. Going home with the guys? Sure, why not? One night stand with pay.
Of course, some got spolied by the money but don't we all? Can the expats on this board can honestly say that they are willing to get paid the same as their Chinese coworkers? The emotional tricks they use to get most out of the customers are just well developed "industrial" standard procedures. Moreover, how many years can they really make the kind of KTV money? 4 or 5? How many 30 over KTV girls in China? Even most of the mammies are under 30. For these golden years, one needs to make as much as she can.
Most of the love songs you heard in KTV describe failed relationship. "I love him but he has to go." "I love him but he cheat on me and I can't leave him because I love him too much." Common sence in these songs. The typical Chinese romantic novels are not any better. These have big impacts on the Chinese women's view of love. On the other hand, moeny is more real.
I am still with the girl and she's still working in the KTV. She's not taking my money. As she put it, this is a relationship. That only makes me like her even more. Not sure how much longer will this relationship but I am enjoying as much as I can. One day at a time.