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A) Rubbers are not a long term birth control solution as the effectiveness rate is just not that high even when used conscientiously and properly. At least 10% failure rate over a one year period, I think is what you can expect.
B) You get her pregnant, your life is ruined. Paternity laws vary by state but in most cases you will be on the hook for child support even if she gets thrown out of the country.
C) You say she is not marriage material.
D) Break up now to avoid any semblance of culpability in this decision that she has to make for herself.
Your legal culpability is zero if she overstays but that ain't the point. She is exhibiting typical illogical and dangerous chica thinking and so must be cut from the program.
Best of luck to you.
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Any thoughts.
A factor that I have been considering in the causation of problematic behavior if AW is their treatment in childhood. From what I have seen and heard, in most other countries , sons are revered, favored, and viewed as an asset. Daughters conversely, are TOLERATED, and viewed as a liability (in some cases this can be extreme like China, where I understand, female newborns are sometimes killed). Conversely, here in the US, we seem to have a mentality of "Daddies little princess", where girls start learning around age 3 or so that they can manipulate Daddy (and by proxy all men) into giving them anything that they want simply by virtue of being female. They learn it, they know it, and they come to expect the world (as provided by men) to revolve around their desires.
Sorry LS, I've got nothing. One thing that may be interesting is for you to assert that you might go back to Russia with her. This may provide additional insight into the situation.
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LS,
If you were to knock up this incredibly hot piece of Russian ass, the law would be equally harsh in your judgement regardless of her being a non-citizen or citizen. There is no discrimination in the eyes of the law when it comes to paternity. The child would be a U.S. citizen and the judge would make sure that his/her rights to child support are respected. Your child support payments would be quite hefty if the mother were to enter illegal immigrant status because then she cannot legally work in the country. Therefore the court would hold you liable for 100% of support. The age difference and her legal status would encourage a female judge to burn your ass for being what she would consider a predatory male taking advantage of young naive foreign pussy.
How would a pregnancy affect her situation? It would help her a lot, since she would be able to claim considerable hardship to herself and her child if deported. Even if a hard-ass immigration judge were to order her deportation after the child was born, the child being a U.S. citizen cannot be deported leaving you potentially as a single father.
At the moment you're way ahead of the game. There is no pregnancy. However, if you continue ponying her things can change really fast. She has the means and the motive. Maybe, you might want to help her see the big picture. She can go home when her time is up demonstrating to the U.S. government that she respects its laws and by doing so greatly increase her odds of getting a visa to visit or work in the future. Or she can over stay her visa and become a fugitive from the law condemned to doing menial jobs in the underground economy.
From what you've posted it seems that she has already made her mind up to live the life of a party girl. She probably knows that it wouldn't be hard to find a sucker to marry her and have her status adjusted even after becoming an illegal alien. Many young women use that scam to get around immigration laws each year and that is exactly why U.S. embassies almost never grant visas to single women under 40 yrs of age.
It appears that you have your head (the big one) on your shoulders and will not be drawn into her plan to break the law. As long as you do not harbor her or aid her in anyway if she becomes an illegal then you should be fine. Whether you choose to continue enjoying her pussy with a calculated risk or to part company is entirely up to you. My guess is that she will move on anyway if you don't extend an offer of marriage.
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LS, you should talk to an immigration lawyer to get some advice, that's the best place to get your answers. Obviously with the current climate harboring an illegal can you get you into a lot of trouble. I don't live in the USA anymore so I couldn't give you any direct advice. My hunch is that she might be trying to pull something on you, I remember a Bulgarian woman I met was real friendly but I began to suspect she was looking for a guy to snag a green card off of.
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[QUOTE=Long Stroker] Also, she is first trying to legally stay here, I only mentioned her illegally overstaying her visa as a possible scenario. She has not asked me for help in extending her visa, nor would I offer it if she did. [/QUOTE]IMO, she is looking for a marriage partner so that she can legalize her status. She may want to do so with you - if she can work her way to achieving that end - but if not, she would look to hook up with another American guy who can give her what she wants.
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[QUOTE=Bart9000]They learn it, they know it, and they come to expect the world (as provided by men) to revolve around their desires.[/QUOTE]I don't know about the learning it from childhood bit, but I'd agree that because of cultural swings that have taken place in the US over the past 40 years ago or so, a sense of entitlement has developed among AW. The worst part of it is that American men and society as a whole has pandered to this so that at this point it is almost out of control.
Watch any talk show - Dr Phil, Oprah, etc - and you will find that the guy in the "wrong" is beaten up by the host and the audience consisting of almost all women. The host has to pander to audience. If the person being dumped on is a woman, it can only happen if the person is just egregiously at fault.
If there is violence against a woman by her signficant other, the perpertrator is put through the wringer. But let it be a reversal of roles and you have all this sympathy being shown for the woman who killed her spouse because she was emotionally abused or was suffering depression or some other rationalization.
A female teacher who gets sexually involved with a male student is school, is treated as confused, depressed, having problems, etc to explain away her actions. A male teacher who does the same thing with a female student is treated as one of the vilest creatures that ever lived and can be sure that he will be going to jail for a long time!
But the reality is that men have played a big role in allowing this situation to occur and not fighting back.
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Path
LS,
At least it seems that you are not hopelessly ensnared in her tentacles. Do research into the options spelled out by CBGB and said immigration lawyer can advise you best. Be up front (but tactful) in telling the lawyer about your relationship with this chick. I'm sure he or she can deduce that this Russian honey turned your loins into Vesuvius, so, you need not go that far into detail. If you're successful getting her into the U.S. the REAL test will come when she lets her guard down after feeling that she's completed all the hurdles. Will she or will she NOT lavish attention upon you as much as she did in the earlier stages of your relationship? When I was younger and living overseas, I saw the tragic result of such chicanery perpetrated upon young soldiers by hot chicas who made GIs feel as if they were the center of the universe. Be mindful of your feelings, young padawan....
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A situation like this happened to me about 6 years ago, I met a beautiful Russian brunette, who fawned all over me, it was too good to be true because at that time I could never get a woman like that. I found out the hard way that she had a boyfriend and was just looking to get legal status to stay in the US, I spied on her and found out, it was emotionally stressful. I suggest you really check her out real good, her background and everything to avoid a major headache. Something like this repeated itself just last fall when I met a Bulgarian woman, she was looking to go to the US and needed a way in, through yours truly. Anyway its your call, you make the decision but think it through, try to get to know her better.
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Don't do it.........
Long Stroker, it sounds like you’ve gotten yourself into a quandary there. I went through something similar when I had just turned 28 (5.5 years ago). I met a fine piece of Argentinean ass with whom I got to spend a few months of sexual bliss thinking and hoping it would go on forever. To make a long story short, we met when she had approx. 1 month left of her visa. Being from Argentina, she didn’t need a visa to travel to the U.S. at the time (this changed in early 2002) since her passport was automatically stamped for a three month stay. The disadvantage of this was that she couldn’t extend her stay because technically she didn’t have a visa and if she left the country, she couldn’t re-enter for 10 years.
She was working in a restaurant and living with some friends who were under similar circumstances. I made a lot of mistakes, so I’m not going to mention them all, but one of them was to have accepted, after being put on the spot, to do something about her legal situation. She overstayed her visa and eventually ended-up moving in with me. Like you, I was in 7th heaven and how better so than being in an oasis within Sex Prison, USA without the costs, hurdles and time constraints of traveling overseas?
I was determined not to give this piece of ass up. Big mistake! To wrap-up my story, we eventually got married, applied for her Green Card, had to wait some extra time because of the events of 9-11 all along having to put up with her changing ways. She became Americanized, the sex became less and less frequent, not to mention less and less good and she knew that she had me by the balls. The good thing was that we didn’t have any children and when the dust settled, we separated, headed different ways and eventually got divorced.
Even though every situation is unique and different in its own way, unfortunately the risks of things recurring in similar fashion are extremely high (and likely). A few fellow mongers made some excellent recommendations here. I would definitely suggest you travel to Russia, with or without her (if she overstays her visa), and visit her family to get a better understanding of who she really is as opposed to taking her word alone. This way you should gain insight as to who and how her family is, where she grew up at or lived at before heading to the U.S. You get to talk to her friends and neighbors and hope to get a lot of info from them. This might also help because if later down the road she starts bringing stuff up to you, you would know better from having been there and seen things for yourself, firsthand. Shit like “oh, I used to live like a queen” and “I had everything I wanted” or “I was such a model person...” This way you can also make a decision as to whether you would want to marry her or not.
Not to mention that you get to do some mongering on the side while you’re there…je..je.je.……
Long Stroker, from what you mentioned the reason why she doesn’t want to go back seems more economical than sentimental. This, is usually the case, and unfortunately for you (sentimental-wise) if you don’t come through for her, she will definitely find someone else who would. I would walk away if I were you. The mongers Ahornyguy, Chocha Monger, SM and CBGBConnisur are right and my gut instinct tells me the same thing!!
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"I want...I want...I want!" Yep typical AW bullshit. She must be a real dog if she can't show her face on the web site. You see she KNOWS if guys saw her fat ugly ass in a photo they would never respond to her ad. She is using the trick of a "photo swap" to get guys to send her their photos. If the guy is not a real "stud" then she can diss him without exposing herself as a fat whale or mangy dog. It's a sure bet that she has no intention of sending a photo of herself after the guy has sent his.
All the AWs online are either fat, ugly or psycho. Average women in this country get so many cock offers on a daily basis that they don't have to go online to look for cock unless something is seriously wrong with them. I have found this to be true from personal experience as well as that of friends. Once this chick saw my photo and wanted to meet me but she didn't have a photo. Danger Will Robinson! When she showed up she was fat and ugly, nothing like her description on the site. I am not a mean guy but I could stop myself from laughing in this chick's face. What was she thinking? That she would somehow get around her appearance by meeting me in person?
Another psycho net slot bit up a friend of mine like Hannibal Lector and then tried to kill herself when he tried to leave her. After that I gave up internet dating in the US. It is not worth it. Oh by the way, while the psycho ho was biting chunks out of my buddy she threated to call the cops and accuse him of assualt if he retaliated. That is something you should think about before posting your profile on a dating site. She might still be out there.
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Dating Sites
I once arranged with this woman to meet after talking on a prominent dating site. She described herself as 38 with big tits and looking like Dolly Parton (I was picturing Dolly Parton in the eighties like when she made a stupid movie with Sly Stalone)
The THING that showed up to meet me didn't look like Dolly Parton. In fact, I'm not entirely sure that whatever it was quite qualified as human. She was just like this vaguely triangle shaped amorphous mass who.....get this.....had like a nervous tic.....some kind of neurophysiological issue obviously. I can honestly say that I have seen better looking bag ladies than this woman. Regarding being 38, I'm guessing that 53 was more accurate (I was about 30 at the time). I did notice that she waited until I said I was drunk to actually meet with me......like my drunken lack of inhibition was going to cause me to hit THAT. I'd hope to puke and die of blood alcohol poisoning first.
All that being said however, I did once meet a nice girl off of c-list personals (the non sexual type-that probably helped things). We didn't hit it off, but she sent me an accurate photo (actually she looked better than the photo), was young (24), sort of pretty, height weight proportionate, no obvious mental or neurophysiological issues.....hardly a nightmare at least
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Internet dating doesn't seem to work well outside of North America, if you want to get laid, go to a pub, night club, or a good beach on a nice day(at least in Ozzie and certain parts of Europe, Spain and Italy).
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Sums it up...
I remember quite a while back, seeing a t-shirt with a saying that pretty much describes AW's attitudes. I don't know if this is VERBATIM but the saying was very close to the following words:
"I want a tiger in the bedroom, a jaguar in my garage, a mink around my shoulders and a ******* to pay for it all".
And they WONDER why they can't get "nice guys" as it was bemoaned in the quote in Marak5's post.
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Although American, I havent actively dated or pursued American women since my college years... nor am I currently living there... but dont remember the women being that bad. The way you describe it, it sounds fucking horrible! Is it really THAT bad?
A lot of the mongers have posted that when foreign girls move to the states they soon adopt the bad habits of AWs, suggesting it is the environment that determines the girls behavior. The environment is the economy. Hollywood brainwashing. America’s latent pseudo-puritanical values. And the men that pursue the women. Us.
Russian women love dominant “real” men.
Asian women are submissive and giving.
European women are not afraid of their sexuality.
Hispanic women are unbridled honest passion.
The list goes on.
So what are American men doing wrong so that their women are so out of control?
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Dr Skank,
Would you be so good as to put up a picture of a hot Russian girl when you post? I know you have lots of them!
The answer to your query is complex-we have walked in circles around it several times on this forum.
Part of the problem is that unlike the other parts of the world you mentioned, due to the moratorium on prostitution, American Women have a monopoly on pussy. They know it, and act accordingly.
American women also love "real men", and will in fact, live or die for them. However, due to some American complex social and cultural, and media conditioning or whatever they almost exclusively percieve those traits of a "real man" in self involved, job losing, wife beating, alcoholic, "bad boy loser" type guys who keep them involved in ever so entertaining "chaos"
30 years of feminism have destroyed what used to be a reasonably equitable arangement between men and women. Previously, women were subordinate and but didn't have responsibilities aside from maintaining the household-they were kept and protected and got what they wanted through manipulation(men rule the world-women rule the men). Men conversely were dominant, but also had responsibility for providing for the family unit. Now, in addition to all privleges previously allocated to women, they now have expectations of dominance in the relationship, without giving up any of the privleges they previously were privy to.
American media and culture continually denigrate men, and encourage their mistreatment-they are the butt of jokes and portrayed as brutish bufoons. I believe the "niceguy forum"'s originator made the point that the things that are said about men on a daily basis, even on the evening news "as a joke" would cause riots in the streets if they were used to indicate any other group of people.
Inequitable divorce laws have turned the institution of marriage into a big "lottery ticket" for American women. American women are now aware that all that they have to do to make it through life in relative comfort is find a "schlub" with some degree of income and wealth, spread her legs for him, squeeze out a couple of munchkins, and she can relegate him to living in poverty so that he can maintain her comfort after the divorce (she gets the house)
I think that I hit all of the big ones here.
Bart