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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lenin
[i]
If you so perfectionist in statements, then I can change from:
Otherwise his future is prostitutes, loneliness and suicide.
To:
Otherwise future of many AM is prostitutes, loneliness and suicide.
Is it helps? [/i][/QUOTE]
Is it me, or is your 'change' not a change at all?
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purplengold,
what is nonsense you talking.
try to live in russia so many yeas like me
and don’t have experience with rw!
they just [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123][CodeWord123][/url] you if you are going to ignore them.
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[quote]originally posted by lenin
[i]try to live in russia so many yeas like me
and don’t have experience with rw!
they just [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123][CodeWord123][/url] you if you are going to ignore them. [/i][/quote]
what the hell does this mean? are you saying that you are soooo hot that rw just attack you? yeah, right.
and, whether you have had experience with rw, i doubt you had solid relationships with them. you are too naive in thinking that they opened up to you so quickly. this is not human nature, american, russian, whatever. people keep secrets, that's life. and, so the girls that had you wrapped around their fingers because you thought they were so open were really just using you.
i've heard too many stories from russian friends. since joining this discussion here, i've been talking to them even more. i showed this forum to one rw friend and her husband, an rm. they both said you're full of shit. their opinion of you was that you are a lonely malcontent. they said they knew plenty of people like you back in russia--always complaining, always talking about getting out, then sending letters home about how you wish to come back once you finally do get out.
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For the record, I'm not pro AW. I prefer asian women. I can't realy put my finger on the reason, but I've always been more attracted to them.
I've had relationships with AW, and do find them to be pushy, expensive and less sexually dynamic. But, they are not completely horrible.
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purplengold,
First, If you are living in Russia for long time in the same neighborhood
you just can not avoid girls who going to be all time behind for you, Except if you are really looks ugly.
Seems you still not understand that it is real situation there.
You found Russian couple. Great! I know dozens of them.
Do you think husband is going to tell you true in front of his wife?
Do you think his wife not upset with my statements because she
want to hide her real nature? Do you think they telling you one
thing and after that make fun if they notice that you are naive?
I know many people who complained about everything.
Do not worry. I complains only when I am a really see bad things.
And such bad thing is American rotten sexual life.
About secret, If you know how to speak with Russians
you will be amazed their openness. Totally opposite to Asian.
And you even not bothered asking me what secrets I am talking about.
Why you so upset and rude about anything what I am saying.
Some Russian programmer kicked you in your ass or what?
Now I think you are naïve and not learning from your experience.
Or most probably you have mentality problems.
I’ve learned Psychiatry and I sense that something wrong with you.
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Lenin, while you may be strictly correct that "many" doesn't say a majority, considering the way you used it -- to follow up an absolute statement like the one you first posted saying "the future [i]is[/i]" it's certainly a viable conclusion that you intend to make a far grander statement than is warranted. This is especially true when you're in the habit of making massively condemning statements about American society.
For what it's worth, despite there being a large number of men killed in Vietnam -- my friends among them -- the truth is that only about one-half percent of those who [i]served[/i] in the military during the war were killed, with less than ten percent of all men actually serving there. So while 47,000 is a large number (the approximate number killed) to imply it is anything near something that, say, stripped the country of males, would be misleading.
Similarly, earlier in this discussion we went though suicide statistics, and it's a relatively low percentage, overall, about 1% of US deaths, which, again, is a low number when you're talking about the total number of the population. Yes, everyone knows someone who's offed themselves, in the same way everyone used to know someone who was killed in Vietnam, but that's simply not the same as saying that American women condemn men (in general) to prostitutes, suicide, and loneliness.
The bottom line is that the majority of men in the United States at any given time are married. The majority do not use prostitutes. The majority do not commit suicide. I don't know of a good measurement for loneliness, but to imply it's a majority is surely to overstate the case.
Again, I think the points are very viable, and the complaints here are absolutely important and well worth looking at, but when we start descending into the land of massive overstatement all that happens is that the discussion becomes absurdly cartoonish and pointless. Being accurate in no way diminishes the validity of the concerns or deflates the discussion. I'm simply asking that we place things in the proper context.
As far as removing emotions from the equation -- I hardly think that's going to happen :) as there are far too many folks here who are highly emotional about this issue. The problem is that if it's just going to become an emoting orgy then it's not really a discussion that can move forward. It's seemed to me that the discussion in this thread has been very good of late -- and you deserve a fair portion of the credit for that -- and I think most of us would love to see that continue. So I'm simply calling for a balanced approach instead of getting unnecessarily histrionic.
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What Lenin says about loneliness and suicide is more apparent in big cities than in smaller townships where people are close and know each other. However, most of the US is made up of the smaller townships rather than the big cities that is why the statistics for America as a whole is low on loneliness, suicide and prostitution. In the smaller towns, married couples tend to stay married whereas in the big cities there are more unmarried people and a much higher divorce rate. Most people in smaller towns are happily married, do not commit suicide, and do not use prostitutes, unlike their big city counterparts. I also noticed that in big cities such as New York, laws are more strict and more enforced. Stricter laws as I explained in my past posts IS a cause of the lack of passion in marriages and relationships. In smaller cities, people get away with skinny dipping whereas if you try that in Central Park with your wife, you will be sitting in a cell next to Bubba and your wife would be sitting in a separate cell next to Butch. Marriages in big cities are more money related than love related. Women expect the city guy to make more money than their small town counterparts so the ones who are after money go for the city guy. The marriages that happen in the small towns are usually high school or college sweethearts.
Suicide is more stress related rather than loneliness related. The stress can come from losing a job, divorce settlements, and many other factors other than loneliness. There are many more problems living in a big city than living in a small town.
Again, more city guys use prostitutes than country guys because of unsatified marriages, loneliness, divorce, or because they stay single. Meeting a true love in the city can be overwhelming especially if you are in a big crowd where nobody knows each other. In a small township, you meet the same people day to day and they know your business and therefore it is easier to know the girl you are dating. Sometimes a city guy might need a companion in such short notice like a date for an event so prostitutes are used for this. Remember, AW want to take their time knowing you and are not as open as foreign counterparts so because no one knows each other in a big city, it is impossible to find a short notice date if a single guy doesn't know any women. On the other hand, in a small town, just by living in the small town a few years, you already know something about the girl neighbors and they know something about you so it is easier to find a short notice date in a smaller community.
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Man, have you ever LIVED in a small town in the US? Guys there don't use prostitutes because there AREN'T any. And, small towns are more conservative and life in rural America can be very lonely. Maybe you can get away with skinny dipping in a small town but if so it is because there are no other people around, unlike Central Park.
Do you really think there are more problems living in a big city and fewer living in a "small township"? I think it is just a different set of problems.
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Actually, the suicide rate is higher in rural than urban areas, both for men and women, which can possibly be related to poor health care (leading to undiagnosed clinical depression) and lack of social support structures. Prostitution is simply more prevalent and available in cities than the countryside, so the opportunity to partake is greater. The truth is that more American men die from pneumonia than suicide, which might argue that if AW took better care of their men they'd know to dress warmly :D but we're not here railing about that. In the most recent comprehensive stats I found (2000) suicides represented 2% of all US male deaths, compared, to, say, 5.4% by accidents or 24.3% by cancer. And a major portion of those suicides come from either teenagers or those over 60, plus I don't think it's really possible to lay all the rest of them at the feet of the behavior of American Women.
I don't disagree at all with the rest of your post about the difficulties of life in cities, though I agree with DH that it's not necessarily a picnic in the sticks, either. And, again, I'm not at all disagreeing with the tenets of the discussion here, just trying to keep things within shouting distance of reality.
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Thanks, JZ. I thought I had read that suicide was higher in rural areas but was too lazy to research it. I know that after two years of living in rural Nebraska I sure wanted to kill myself.
Here's an idea. Instead of sentencing prostitutes to 90 days in jail, sentence them to 90 days in a rural community. It would have a greater deterrent effect and would also provide valuable services to these isolated areas. A win-win situation in my book.
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I used to travel a lot with my Brazilian girlfriend in
Ontario and we’ve seen a lot of small cities.
They all sooo dead.
In some cities you are lucky if after sunset you see just the dog.
But American Big Cities seems sucks too.
I was in NYC with my friend last year. We spend 3 days
going to different places at evening in Manhattan.
I just wanted get feeling of the night city.
In some places we took one or two drinks in
others just look around for few minutes.
In total we went may be in 40 bars and discos.
What I notice the girls make absolutely no eyes contacts.
Just like dead models in windows.
You are getting such unpleasant feeling especially
if you traveled before In Latin America or Russia.
I remember, in one bar men were mostly staying in one part
of the bar and women in another.
It was no any interaction between them.
Why is hell everybody came here then?
NYC looks absurd city to me.
On the one side a lot of good dressed girls clearly
to attract attention of the men,
on another no contact with the men.
In one place near from Times square I talk with
nice looking prostitute in the small café.
I still remember how two men, who
works there, stop their job, open their mouths and stare at us
like we are aliens from other planet.
Darkseid, is my first impression about NYC correct
or I missed something?
Only in Mexican Bar I felt some warm.
Eventually in Russian bar I got warmest welcome.
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Lenin -
You have mentioned the issue of "emotional distance or detachment", or something resembling that effect, in several of your last posts. Women that look like "dead models in windows", a lot of well-dressed women (presumably to attract the men) without contact with the men, and " American rotten sexual life".
Do you associate these impressions you had and have with the previous issue of "AW are suspicious of men in general"? Do you think a lot of the people that you observed in the nightclub that were dressed-up but not interacting - "why is hell everybody came here then?" - were frustrated with the situation? Were the women mostly suspicious and the men knew it?
What is at the heart of these situations that apparently would be rather different if they existed in Russia?
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Lenin, I totally agree with you with your description of the big cities, especially in NYC. Everyone here lives in their own little space and they don't want anything to do with other people. Every NYC person I meet in clubs are paranoid and think that you approach them because you want something from them. Even if you throw the biggest party wit hundreds of supermodels and superstars New Yorkers would still find a way to dull the party with their "personal space" attitudes. I do agree with everyone that life in the rural communities is dull and boring but at least the people in the rural communities are a bit more willing to chat with you (unless the community happens to be racist). My grandparents lived in a small community and I use to visit them every summer. My grandparents on my mother's side lived in Calgary, Alberta in Canada and everyone was friendly and knew each other. I was bored as heck though but at least I could chat with the neighbors and play ball with them. My grandparents on my father's side lived in a small town in Buffalo New York and it was a similar situation. Although there is nothing to do in these towns, I still made friends with my neighbors. My grandparents before moving into the community did meet the neighbors as part of their search for their home to make sure they are not bad or racist people. In my NYC neighborhood, people don't want anything to do with each other. Even if I try to invite them to a party they think I am some salesperson trying to push his product on them. I tried to throw a party in my NYC apartment and only my olf friends came and only 2 of my neighbors I invited came. When I threw barbecues at my grandmother's house, it was an excellent turnout because the community was more close. Perhaps I did these people a favor in giving them something to do in the boring small town (Yes, Buffalo IS a really boring town. No one can argue with that.)
JZ and DH, I also agree with you guys that prostitution not being available is a good reason country guys CAN'T use them. Most country folks also don't travel either and the ONLY woman they know are their high school sweethearts which is why there is a lower divorce rate than in urban communities. Also more country folks are alcoholics or drug users because no one is stopping them from doing it.
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Jak
Your questions help me to analyzed the problem
I don’t want somebody be upset with my statements. I want just to find the root of the problem. To be completely honest we should look at ourselves too.
I notice that most of Americans not only AW hide their feeling and emotions.
Why implicit rules of society forced Americans to smile even when they want to kill each other?
I do not understand exactly why Americans doing this. Is it better for business, or religion told them to do this. May be because American was told from childhood that real gentlemen should hide feeling. I would like if somebody could explain this.
I think this is the big problem.
Hiding feeling and emotions it is just different form of lying about your internal state. How AW can trust AM and AM can trust AW if they playing this game all the time?
It is breaking normal communication between AW and AM.
Relations between men and women are based on feeling. Seems American culture
is destroying trust and emotional communication between AM and AW right from the beginning.
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Lenin -
Since I have often asked many questions and put you on the "firing line", which you have courageously accepted, it's only fair I make my share of generalizations to be attacked. I've appreciated your heart-felt responses, which oftentimes put you in the position of making statements that sound attacking or simplistic.
I have noticed that Americans "openness" is often related to regionalism. I live in the largest Midwestern city in the U.S. It has often been remarked that it is an incredibly friendly city for its size. I never gave it serious thought until I moved to a city in the Northwestern U.S. for many years. People in this new city and region had an etiquette, but it sure took a long or longer time to get a feeling of closeness with most people. I actually found the people I was befriending to be transplants from other areas of the country. There was a very provincial air about the region.
In the Southern U.S., most people have experienced "Southern hospitality" when they've travelled this region. Since I feel you really have to live and breathe in an area for at least a few years before you can have a genuine sense of it, I still oftentimes have believed that this friendliness is also more of an etiquette than genuineness of interaction.
I think one of the common stereotypes that many Europeans (West and East) have of Americans is the "phoniness" which we often present upon meeting for the first time. I have heard this repeatedly from Germans, Danes and Polish people - and they were often speaking for the impressions of other Europeans. Russians seem to never smile at strangers. If you do, it should only be for flirtatious reasons with the opposite sex.