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to vent
I agree this thread has been very helpful to me in understanding the situation. Since I've been doing alot of traveing I can see first hand how all this information relates.
Plain and simple it's a good way to vent with people who have the same issues.
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AW Horse Dead?
Yes, the horse is dead and the carcass is stinking to high heaven which is why we've got to keep putting the word out. Frustrated and disgusted American men are not a minority just a terrified non-vocal majority. Many more tales of horror abound on the net and many of these guys haven't even considered an alternative. Take for example the experience of a poster by the handle of CleanStarving, from Madison, WI. His story follows below in his own words:
"I am a 36 year old male experiencing the same issue. I like to be fair with both women and men.
I had been married for 8 years. Initially my wife and me had intercouse every day. Then I realized that she don't want it every day. In One year it reduced to once or twice in a week. Then I started jerking off when she is not available. Until she got employed we did it once or twice every week. After she got employed it became once every week.
Three years back we had our first baby. She didn't ask for an intercourse for three months. Then I encouraged and lured her into it. But she wants it only once in one month now. If I express my desire she will tell she will give it in the evening. In the evening she will tell she is so tired..can we try tomorrow?...and I got satisfied once in a month..no complaints from my side still...but I tried to lure her more which she took it as forcing and started threatening me...
She cut off me saying that I don't have any right to touch her without her agreement... I was little bit confused but still we had intercourse once in every 6 weeks...but I didn't had much freedom ---because she just wanted to do the things she wanted... she liked only one position and no explorations or variety were allowed...
But every time we had an intercourse she enjoyed it and I could feel it from her sound and her desire for more orgasm... But around 8 months back in october 2005 she started avoiding me totally... After three months of waiting I turned towards porn movies for satisfaction.. still being faithful for her...
One month back she started pulling things from past and started threatening me for the porn movies I am seeing. She didn't like it at all.
I wanted to be faithful to her. I haven't fucked anybody other than her in my life... now she wouldn't allow me to touch or even express my desires. She is OK otherwise... and she don't like me spending time with my baby...she comes and snatches the baby...The baby is doing healthy.. but I had to separate from my wife to avoid more problems. The seperation is for 6 months which my wife wanted. She says if I want to see the baby more than once in two weeks I can go to court and get permission.
But there is no legal separation..
I don't hate my wife. not even surprised... but everything happening here is a mystery for me... my wife is not telling me why I need to separate from baby and me... she says she needs 6 months to think whether she needs to continue marriage or not... meanwhile her conusellor contacted me and told me to work on my anger..."
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I can understand the desire to vent. It DOES feel very good. But it doesn't accomplish very much. After we have vented, we may feel better for a little while but we are still stuck with hostile AWs. The only way to BE better for a LONG while, as opposed to FEEL better for a little while, is to get the alternative to AWs, foreign women. We haven't been doing enough of that.
I also understand the need to get the word out. Only a few non-military AMs, appreciate the benefits of foreign women as wives, and they (we) are too afraid to speak out much due to the feminists who portray AMs seeking foreign wives as sex offenders.
I just feel that carping on how bad AWs are, without offering any solution, makes us look exactly like AWs. How may times have we borne the brunt of a complaining AW, who then makes us GUESS at what she wants, and finally complains more about our attempt to resolve the issue? I, and we, do not want to give of THAT vibe!
Mick Jagger sang, long ago in 1978, that "American girls want everything in the world you can possible imagine". 25+ years later not much has changed. But we men can change discussing better alternatives, foreign women. There are hundreds of marriage agencies that introduce western men to ladies from Latin American, Asia, and Eastern Europe. I am not a shill, so I name several competeing agencies when I talk about this. There are other threads for "Marrying Foreign Women" and "Dating Agencies" so maybe I should encourage more posting there. It just seems that this thread is most active. I hope that's not because we are only interested in venting and not in improving our sex/love lives.
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[QUOTE=Chocha Monger]Yes, the horse is dead and the carcass is stinking to high heaven which is why we've got to keep putting the word out. Frustrated and disgusted American men are not a minority just a terrified non-vocal majority. Many more tales of horror abound on the net and many of these guys haven't even considered an alternative. Take for example the experience of a poster by the handle of CleanStarving, from Madison, WI. His story follows below in his own words:
"I am a 36 year old male experiencing the same issue. I like to be fair with both women and men.[/QUOTE]
CM,
Your example is heartbreaking. The husband is no longer a man, if he ever was one at all. He has abdicated all his civil and even human rights just to please his wife. And what does he get in return? Thrown out of his house, Thrown out of the life of his child. And accused of some sort of abuse due to uncontrolled anger.
It is a real shame that he and many other men either don't know their rights and don't feel the need to excercise them.
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Imbra
[QUOTE=Rock Dog]George90,
You mentioned LatinEuro. They have a section in their site complaining about IMBRA..... any new developments there?
Rock[/QUOTE]
An immigration attorney who has a petition against IMBRA says that IMBRA is in full effect. The INS has a huge backlog of visa petitions because they didn't get the new forms ready in time and had to send out the new forms to men who had already sent in petition on the old forms. A judge in Atlanta does have a restraining order against the Federal government from enforcing IMBRA but this lawyer says that RO is ONLY for the agency (Russian Encounters) that filed it.
In addition, NOW and others feminist groups have succeeded in extending IMBRA. In June, a law was passed that takes away the right of any man convicted of a sex offense from EVER petitioning for a visa for his foreign wife. That means that if you were ever arrested in the US for using a prostitute, you would not be allowed to file for a fiancee or spousal visa for the rest of your life!
There is an IMBRA III in the works. Rumor has it that it would require US men to disclose IMBRA I stuff to American women too.
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So true
point taken.... however, remember that IF one is not cautious about marrying foreign women (making as sure as possible that her character is a sterling one) and ends up letting his little head do the thinking for his big head, he could end up in a situation that would prompt him to post to this very board and going back to Square One.
Myself, I already have my road map plotted and it involves a foreign woman. While I wouldn't TOTALLY refuse the long-term relationship possibilities with an AW (I'm sure that there is a specific grain of sand on a gargantuan beach to be had) The stars would have to be perfectly aligned.
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[QUOTE=George90]In addition, NOW and others feminist groups have succeeded in extending IMBRA. In June, a law was passed that takes away the right of any man convicted of a sex offense from EVER petitioning for a visa for his foreign wife. That means that if you were ever arrested in the US for using a prostitute, you would not be allowed to file for a fiancee or spousal visa for the rest of your life!
There is an IMBRA III in the works. Rumor has it that it would require US men to disclose IMBRA I stuff to American women too.[/QUOTE]So, in essence, the deeds of a very few has put all men on the America's Most Wanted list? What happened to innocent before being proved guilty? This law basically states that being a man who is interested in women from other countries makes us evil. Hmm.
I , for one, am very very tired of the loud, obnoxious hefers I see in general. Yes even Los Angeles has it share of obese women, thank god this is not Nebraska.
And the story of that chap with the insane wife is heart-wrenching. How the hell can the wife get mad if the guy is watching porn? That means he is not cheating on her, even though she is withholding the goods.
G90, what do you think of latineuro.com?
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"I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete." Remember when Darth Vader said this to Obi-Wan Kenobi? Well, you just might be hearing something similar from the judge at divorce court if you run off and marry a foreign woman and bring her back to these shores without doing some in depth, lengthy and time consuming ground work.
I hesitate to recommend foreign women as the panacea for the AW ills because it only applies when certain conditions are met. Take the best foreign woman you can find and turn her loose in our society and it will only be a matter of time before she is seduced by the powers of the dark side. What else can you expect? Each day she will be bombarded by the media and her new AW friends who tell her that she deserves to have it all and that you are an oppressive swine that she'd be better off without. You can hardly blame the poor girl for cashing in and taking off. That's just the way things are in America.
Once she finds out that as a man you have no rights, not even the most basic of human rights, and oh yes guilty until proven otherwise; how can she resist? Guys, Rufus the family dog holds more of a valued place in the family than you do. It sucks but it's the truth. If he isn't fed he has recourse under the law for cruelty to animals. And you? Well, you better find your way down to McDonald's.
It doesn't take long to figure out the contented fellows on here are the ones who fled for brighter shores or simply learned to live without much to do with AW. Now we hear talk of an IMBRA III. I really hope they pass this one too. I'd vote in favor of it if they had a referendum. It would be one more reason not to even speak to an AW outside of work or essential day to day transactions. Really, they couldn't come up with a more ingenious plan for driving a stake through the heart of marriage in this country. The Land of the Free would soon be the Land of the Old Maids.
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Cm
Mastered the Force you have! Pierced the veil of the Dark Side have you! Adherence to NOT caving into the demands of AW's is the way OUT! Getting the word out is the only way....
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[QUOTE=Chocha Monger]
I hesitate to recommend foreign women as the panacea for the AW ills because it only applies when certain conditions are met. Take the best foreign woman you can find and turn her loose in our society and it will only be a matter of time before she is seduced by the powers of the dark side. What else can you expect? Each day she will be bombarded by the media and her new AW friends who tell her that she deserves to have it all and that you are an oppressive swine that she'd be better off without. You can hardly blame the poor girl for cashing in and taking off. That's just the way things are in America.
Once she finds out that as a man you have no rights, not even the most basic of human rights, and oh yes guilty until proven otherwise; how can she resist? Guys, Rufus the family dog holds more of a valued place in the family than you do. It sucks but it's the truth. If he isn't fed he has recourse under the law for cruelty to animals. And you? Well, you better find your way down to McDonald's.[/QUOTE]
You are not entirely wrong, CM, but not entirely right either. I agree that a man must be very careful of ANY woman that he may marry. Yes, a foreign woman may become fully Americanized and lead a man into to a US style marriage and divorce.
I disagree that such a fate is inevitable. If a man evaluates potential wife-material with his big head, then he is less likely to err and marry a disaster. If he just wants a trophy wife, then he will pay for it.
Men who have married foreign women and brought them here have reported that Asian women, specifically Filipinas, are the least likely to to become fully Americanized and so resist the influence of AWs and the materialistic, anti-man aspects of US culture. They said there are strong Philipine communities here in the US that help the new wives aculturate. While they inform the ladies of their legal rights in case of abuse, they also STRONGLY discourage ladies from screwing over AMs. Exporting wives is an industry in the Philipines. Having a US husband and living here enables a lady to help her whole family survive, go to school, get good medical care, etc. Many want to hook up sisters, cousins, and friends with other AMs. If they get a bad reputation of screwing us over, they lose out on a great opportunity to improve their and their family's lives. Latin women are second best. Russian women are third.
Provided you choose a woman with good values, not materialistic, appreciates and values a good man in her life, and you keep strong ties to her culture, she will be able to resist the AW onslaught.
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[QUOTE=Furiouz]G90, what do you think of latineuro.com?[/QUOTE]
I have used Latin Euro in past years. I have met many nice ladies using them, including one that dated for a while. The response rate I had was very low. I found that many women had moved, were no longer interested, had married, without LE removing their profiles. Most just did not respond. Some ladies asked for money very quickly. Now, I just look at the pictures!
I do not suggest not using LE. I do suggest using a variety of agencies. Others that you should look into are Latin Social Network, My Latin Rose, My Latin Flame, Brazil Romance, Brazil Exterior, A Foreign Affair, Cali Charm, Continental Romance.
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Latin women in america
I'm looking for a latin lady myself and you would think that living in new
york city would be an advantage but it's not. There are tons of "pueblo"
looking authentic types here but they dont act the same. Most of the time
you cant even look at them let alone start up a conversation without them
giving you a freaked out look or even more of a brush off than AW's.
After I come home from a trip to latin america I try to keep the same open
friendly energy towards them but it just doesn't go over too well. The
majority of women minus the few exceptions get tainted once they get here.
I'm very upset that the whole immigration issue is focused mainly on latin immigrants this will ruin any chance of a possible connection. I agree that phillipinas are more open when they arrive to america. I just dont vibe that well with asian culture.
Alot of americans dont have the ability to make that move to another country or let alone vist one so what is to become of them and the men after them?
Our society is quick to nail a man for his percieved faults but yet wont address his needs. We have a really warped view of the modern man.
When will this change and what will it take to make that change?
The clues are all right here in this thread. The longer this continues the more our society will have to deal with the consequences.
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[QUOTE=Artisttyp]I'm looking for a latin lady myself and you would think that living in new
york city would be an advantage but it's not. There are tons of "pueblo"
looking authentic types here but they dont act the same. Most of the time
you cant even look at them let alone start up a conversation without them
giving you a freaked out look or even more of a brush off than AW's.
[/QUOTE]
I lived in New York City from the mid 80's to the early 90's. I had several friends from Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic. I know exactly what you are talking about. I was not looking for action then but I saw many guys get shot down and obliterated by some of the New York City Latinas.
As you have travelled to LA, you know that Latinas come in all shapes, colors, and nationalities. A Colombiana is not the same as a Borriquena (from PR) who is not the same as an Venezolana. Even within NYC, Latinas from Washington Heights, are not the same as Latinas from the Bronx, who are not the same as Latinas living in Queens.
If you get to know her well in her country, if you learn of her ambitions for life in the US, you will get a very clear picture of what she will be like when she actually gets here. People do not change their core personalities very much very quickly. A woman with a sound, down-to-earth outlook on life in Colombia will continue to be like that in the US. You just need to choose wisely and carefully. I concede that is easier said than done.
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[QUOTE=Artisttyp]
Alot of americans dont have the ability to make that move to another country or let alone vist one so what is to become of them and the men after them?
Our society is quick to nail a man for his percieved faults but yet wont address his needs. We have a really warped view of the modern man.
When will this change and what will it take to make that change?
The clues are all right here in this thread. The longer this continues the more our society will have to deal with the consequences.[/QUOTE]
I agree! It won't change until the consequences are too unbearable for women. I don't think that will be in the near future. What is likely to happen society wide has already happened in the Black community. As of 2002, close to 70% of children are born to single-mother households. There are more never-married Black men and Black women than ever before in US history. The divorce rate for those Black who do marry is much higher than for Whites, (I don't want to look up the precise statistic right now). A consequence has been that women are raising Black children with almost no male input. Most want to be "friends" with their children instead of parents and so do not instill discipline and respect for rules and order. The result is a generation of young Blacks with little meaningful education, little foresight and ability to plan for the future, and a willingess to revert to crime as a profession.
Bill Cosby and, more recently, Juan Williams have spoken out publicly about this. That is what is in store for the whole US in 20-30 years. I think it is a more serious problem than Iran, Iraq, Al-Quaeda, and Afghanistan combined.
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George90
You make some good points and just think you were here during the good days. Imagine what goes on now.
I used to be so in love with puerto rican women UNTIL I went to puerto rico. Dominicans tend to stay true to their culture at least those born in DR but alot of their american offspring have horrible attitudes and adopt a thug mentality.
Los Angeles is a mess.