American women and marriage
hi dirkdingy,
thanks for your support. i am just trying to be honest and fair to all involved.
the laws in most us states aim to protect the interests of both parties and their children in cases of divorce. once the parties are divorced, all is fair for them to exploit the laws to their maximum advantage. i've known a few high-achieving women who pay big chunks of their income for child support and to their men who earn less.
it's unfortunate that a lot of people treat their mates better when they were dating, and lot worse after they entered into marriages. with all the talk about nasty divorce fights and legal obligations, a lot of people are just afraid of the messy consequences, so they never get married at all, or they marry with big prenup agreements. a lot of upwardly mobile women that i know end up living with the men they love without marriage. the law cannot intervene in those cases.
in fairness to all, i am fortunate to have known a few american women who were and are some of the sweetest, gentlest, kindest, fairest, loving and fun creatures on earth. like in all countries, it's a matter of actively looking, trusting your instincts, finding compatible mates, then treat them with fairness, sincerity and honesty to prevent heartaches and headaches.
business-wise, i found the majority of americans tend to conduct themselves with much higher standards of ethics, fairness and respect for the laws, compared to most other peoples.
i would rather read stories of good human relationships in all countries than those that focus narrowly on personal failures.
[quote=dirkdingy]i agree with you…… the habitual bashing of american women on this board is often unfounded. although much of it can be attributed to just blowing off steam, few of the men who advance such arguments have actually resided long term as an expat in another country and then brought their imported woman back to the usa. perhaps more importantly, some of these fellas have been burned by aw and then raped by the legal ramifications of a divorce. but most all women are vindictive creatures; it’s just that in america and a few other nations the courts allow that vindictiveness to manifest itself punitively with respect to the man’s wallet. whose fault is that though? it’s our fault for allowing such laws to be created. like natasha, su yang, or azalea wouldn’t do the same if the laws in their countries allowed them to. and once they get to the west they seem to absorb the worst that american has to offer (unbridled materialism) without retaining our values (solid protestant work ethic, ambition, morality, and respect for the rule of law). that’s a combustible combination man: wanting it all but not willing to work for any of it. [/quote]
If you look like a homo...
..., expect to be spurned by the majority of straight people.
[QUOTE=Astor Bryan]I watched a documentary on CNN and dateline earlier this week about an AW who dressed as a man to explore the man's world. She was shocked at how alot of AW women treated men....she stated that women had all the power. On more than a few occasions she tried to pick up a few ladies and was rejected or completely ignored. It's just a fact of life that alot of AW are just plain nasty. Unfortunately it's the men(AM) who have created these monsters.[/QUOTE]
Fine examples of American women
What came to my mind are the flight attendants on American Airlines flights on Sept 11, 2001 out of New York and Boston. They were of Caucasian, Asian, African descents. They all struggled heroically and died their gruesome deaths at the hands of the bastardly terrorists in protection of their passengers.
Or the flight attendant in the Air Florida crash in the 80's, who was freezing to death in the Potomac river, but struggled to give the helicopter lift to her male passengers.
Or Melinda Gates, who gave away half of her family net worth (probably her half) to the tune of $30 billion, to improve the health of poor countries.
These incidents were well documented. I am sure there are many other American women in other professions who have similarly high standards of responsiblities and ethics. These American women are fine examples of how humans of different ethnic origins can be educated and developed by their culture to act responsibly, even to care for others before themselves.
If anyone knows of any such fine examples from other peoples, please share them with us.
Choice, choice, choice...
It's really hard to dispense advice without knowing the people involved and background information. The only people who like to give advice are consultants who charge a lot of money for ideas you already have and convince you they are best for you. It's really up to you to have the courage to make the right decisions, the willingness to do hard work to make things work, and the toughness to face failures, adjust, then try again.
You should define what you want out of your relationships with women, considering your personality and lifestyle, then target the women most likely to suit your needs. That way you would more likely succeed.
My own experience is that women in US and Western Europe are more secured economically and socially, and are usually more capable of doing things without strings attached. Women in third world are less secured and usually have, or feel, lots of family obligations. Sooner or later they will put a lot of strings on their relationships. The differences in language, values, attitudes ...can also bring on a lot of strains.
American women are indeed a tough breed. They will challenge their mates in many ways. They do play some tough games in the dating scene. They want to be won over by strong and smart men, not given away free to pushovers. It's just inherent female instincts to make sure they select the best mates to perpetuate their genes. To strong men, those character straits are just fun and interesting. To weaker men, the challenges may be too intimidating.
You have to truly believe you are smarter, tougher, more flexible than your opponents, and decide and act accordingly, to win. You'll be surprised how easy it is to conquer and score with American women.
If you are serious about someone, test out their values and their attitudes for compatibility with yours. If they don't match yours, find someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just have to practice building up your tough skin and not let the rejections bother you.
It's much more fun to have loved and lost than not loving at all. Engage every woman you meet with your lively personality. Have fun with your life and give no shit about the rude and nasty trash. Be rude and nasty back at them to teach them good lessons.
[QUOTE=Cyberdas]I'm caught in a bind here having to choose between dealing with and taking my chances on AW/ Americanized foreign women in sex prison, USA or foreign/ non-Americanized women abroad. In all fairness to what has been posted here lately and in trying to strike a balance between what One Wing Low and Dirkdingy have stated and what Sinanju Master, CBGBConnisur and the majority of the posters here usually have to say - I'm stuck in a rut. Maybe you fellas can provide with some substantive and useful advice.
I agree that most AW/ Americanized foreign women in sex prison, USA suck but at the same time, my limited experiences with foreign/ non-Americanized women abroad has only been slightly better. Maybe it is because I'm seen as a walking ATM or U.S. visa opportunity or because they become attracted to far. What do you guys think? All answers will be sincerely appreciated.[/QUOTE]
Thanks guys for the advice
Thanks Sinanju Master and One Wing Low for your much heeded advice. I'll try my best and my darnest in overcomming the endless obstacles and roadblocks that exist in the uneven, unrealistic and usually unrewarding world of dating AW/ Americanized foreign women. I'm taking the plunge to see if I am able to at the very least get to meet them - make their acquaintance per se. I would have to be able to meet them first and then take things from there but doing that seems like a herculean, near impossible feat.
[QUOTE=Furiouz]In general, American Women suck. Of course I live in Los Angeles, one of the toughest cities to date in the world. Let me put it to you this way: I have never ever had a girlfriend from Los Angeles. All my GF have been from other cities or countries.[/QUOTE]
I agree with the following quote from one of Furiouz' post. Since I also live in Los Angeles, I can say the same thing. And I thought I was the only one thinking like this. IMHO, Los Angeles is probably worst than NYC for dating. It is virtually impossible getting to meet AW here let alone dating them. The one good thing about this place, though, is the 2 hours drive from Tijuana, Mexico. But after a while, that could get old and quite honestly, I feel burned-out from the trips and the emptiness of mongering. Yeah, sure, I get to fulfill my physical pleasures, but emotionally I'm no better off. I also suspect that getting involved in a LTR with an AW and marrying one will not be any better either, especially in the long run. I'm so confused........