Important Advice Needed From The Seasoned Brethren
I am President of a company in the U.S. Early this year, I hired a new Accounting Manager, partly for her skills, partly because she is a knockout. She is not a slutty-type knockout, but a beautiful Midwestern girl 29 years old.
This week she seemed down so I asked her what was wrong. She said she is looking for a new place since she is leaving her boyfriend of two years.
Friday we went to lunch together (pre-scheduled, I have lunch with each of my directs every 6-8 weeks.) We talked about business. She also volunteered that she was trying to get the BF to go to therapy, but expected she would still be moving out in to months. I asked if she would buy a place, and she answered she still had some work to do in order to "save enough" to buy a house. She has kids so this seems important. I also know that her ex-boyfriend-to-be makes less money than she does.
We talked a little shop, but mainly I counseled her that over the next few years the company should grow significantly and I may move the facility, and would she be interested in being the Accounting Manager of a larger, multi-facility company, of course making a much better salary. She answered emphatically that this is what she wants. I added that I want to be he career advocate and that we need to work together to grow her career. (Aside from her physical appearance, she is actually a good Accounting Manager.)
I then asked if I could offer some personal comments and ideas, and she answered, "Of course."
I told her a story of a woman with whom I had worked years before. The woman had found herself in a similar situation in her late twenties (suddenly single with kids, etc.) I told her that this woman, my close friend years later, had told me of something she did after her sudden break-up that had turned out to be the best thing she could have done at that time. I said she had gotten a "Sugar Daddy."
I awaited her reaction. Rather than one of disgust or, "I'd never do that," her facial expression changed to one of pleasant contemplation, and she said, "Not a bad idea." Seeing a "proceed with caution" signal, I added some details - that this woman stayed alone with her sugar daddy only once or twice per month, that she had gotten everything she had wanted out of the arrangement and had been able to save enough to buy a house, had been able to truly focus on herself and her kids since she was freed of relationship worries, and that after three years she met the man of her dreams and ended the sugar daddy relationship amicably. I added that later, the sugar daddy even came to her wedding as they had remained friends. Seeing a continuing friendly ear, I closed that the sugar daddy was the woman's boss.
My guest responded that she and her sister had just had a conversation in which my guest had shared with her, sister "I really want to take some time out of serious relationships for awhile," and later added from the same conversation, "Maybe I just need someone to take care of me."
OK, we're 3 ball and no strikes, 2 men on base and the pitcher is tiring. I go for a base hit. I added in a passing but direct way, "Of course that woman was nowhere near the stunningly beautiful woman you are..." No reaction from my guest. Not a frown, not a smile, just a continued pleasant facial expression while listening to me, as if I had not uttered a word. I later made a similar passing but strong comment about her beauty, but with the same result from my lovely guest. I am not sure how to gauge this part of the exchange.
We finished lunch, talking only business and went back to the office.
At this stage, I am very interested in making an arrangement with this woman. I am married so plan to of course be extremely careful.
Here's my question for the brethren: Is this a green light, a yellow light or a red light? What should be my next steps?
Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!!!
Tallguy2004, this smells of a TRAP! Let me tell you why: this is a BUSINESS setting in which you volunteered the info about the Sugar Daddy and of YOUR desire to do the same. She now KNOWS that she has something YOU want and that you are willing to "go for it". Remember, this is AMERICA! Translation: if you get accused of sexual harassment, the burden of PROOF is upon the ACCUSED (overwhelmingly MALE) and PROVING your innocence beyond a doubt will be an uphill battle. Even if you DO, there are those out there that will say the justice system did NOT do it's job (metaphorically tarring and feathering you, and draining your financial resources dry) and that you got off scot free. This woman seems like a calculating shark since her reaction was not one of SURPRISE at either end of the spectrum. You said that her reaction was one of pleasant contemplation. The wheels in her head INSTANTLY started turning to CONTEMPLATE how much it is that she can sue you for. I can NOT emphasize STRONGLY ENOUGH that this is a BAD IDEA!! When she hauls you into court, you will AMAZED at how quickly her demeanor changes from the time when the two of you had lunch. Her attorney (who will ALREADY be making arrangements to purchase his next Benz) will portray her as a helpless victim who was under duress to acquiesce to her boss' demands for sex or lose her job. Add THAT to the fact that she's a single mom trying to support a kid, and the attorney's job of making YOU seem like a sex-crazed monster will be complete. You will spend YEARS (possibly DECADES) repairing your professional and personal life.
BEWARE THE DARK SIDE OR FOREVER WILL IT RULE YOUR DESTINY!