no money? =more money later
[QUOTE=Doronto]Barri wrote, that the girl said "Oh, you fuck like a professional"!
Assuming a girl likes it, is this a common used term in Kenya? Or is this only used if a prostitute wants to make the customer happy ("tell the customer what they like to hear. ")?
I'm asking, because I've met a girl in Kenya, she acted as a non pro, she did not charge me, in fact she did not want any money. She told me I should keep my money so I can come earlier to Kenya again to visit her.
To be honest I'm confused, as I could not figure out her interest in me. My rule, that a girl (especially in the 3rd world) always has got some interest (either money, or marriage, or at least clothes, mobile phone whatever) broke this time.
She made always fun with me and said: "you're a professional! ". So anybody knows, if this is a common saying? Or something which only says the pro at Cheers?
As I've met her at Cheers, I'm almost 100% sure, that she's looking for customers now. But again, why did she want no money? Should I worry? What's wrong?[/QUOTE]
Normally that is a good sign when they look at a long term investment, ie pretend for mzungo on night 1 that you dont want money, mzungo gets a bit surprised and think thats a nice girl! later mzungo will normally pay a 100 times that when they start "borrowing" or if they are really lucky mzungo walks right into the trap and falls in love with this " non pro girl".
Important Reports - Please Read.
hi fellow pleasure seekers.
please do not ignore the undermentioned reports. take care.
donnachaa
hehehe!
i was once arrested by plainclothed police while walking home at 9.pm. they charged me with loitering and [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord112][CodeWord112][/url] in public and i had to pay a fine of 1000/=. it did not matter that i had my id card. bribery did not work.
i later learned that:
1) either the courts were idle and the magistrate needed work or they were broke and needed money.
2) the planting season has arrived and the shimo la tewa prison needed more inmates to tend to the farms there so these plainclothed police (and there were about 10 of them) went about arresting anybody who crossed their path. some of them nabbed for simply going to the kiosk to buy bread.
then on i learned that plainclothed police who operate in large numbers are the worst. they dont take bribes and you will end up in court even if you have all documents and id's and did nothing wrong.
uniformed police who normally operate in twos can be bribed.
however this was during the moi era. now in the kibaki era where corruption has increased its price it seems sex tourists are their new target?
i think as musomba says, its wise to operate like the mouse. let not the girls know where you live etc etc (unless you are dealing with girls you know and can trust).
btw kenya prisons are deliberatley filthy shitholes. many criminals are from poor destitute backgrounds so making prisons more comfortable may actually increase crime. just like the nigerians who trafficked heroine to sweden to deliberatley get caught and jailed because a swedish jail in nice and confortable (complete with tv in each room), and you can make good money (by nigerian standards) while serving your time. afterwards you go back to nigeria better off than when you left.
editor's note: i would suggest that the author or another forum member consider posting a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please click here for more information.
yesterday 13:46
ndugu our favorite kenyan police station is located on mombasa's north coast opposite cheers bar in bamburi. what makes this police station so special is their ingeniousity in tourist scamming. of course, not all the officers are corrupt, untrained and unprofessional but the few good cops are not enough to give that particular station a good reputation. you might become a victim of these scavengers once you show your face outside the hotel. having some alcoholic beverages, hooking up with a prostitute or dealing with a beach boy will most likely increase your chances to make the acquaintance of an "officer" all you have to do is tell the ”right” person about your hotel, date of departure and of how much money you possess. it is very common that you will be visited in your hotel either on a friday afternoon or 2 days before your departure. reasons are obvious: booked on a friday will give the highly trained bamburi copper a chance to put you in jail for the entire weekend because courts are closed. even though you’ll not be fined but released the following monday, you had to spend a weekend in a stinking cell beyond human dignity. how much would you pay for “assistance” to avoid such dilemma??? booking you 2 days before your departure is the true virtue of the corrupt bamburi cop. having studied your every move over the past 7 days, the copper will use any means to arrest you for maximum extortion. he’s aware that you cannot miss your flight and that you would do everything not to. he is also aware that you may have spent all your money already but fortunately for him you are white. white people always have means of getting more money. just call your sister or a friend to help you out, it’s that simple. this advice is for free and even comes from the generous law abiding bamburi cop himself. your embassy will be too slow to assist you within 48 hours – forget about that! pay or stay thanks to the friendly and corrupt bamburi coproach! unfortunately the outdated colonial laws make it easy for any corrupt cop to extort huge amounts from their victims.
most common charges are:
possession of drugs or narcotics*-*even if you are not a drug user, the friendly bamburi cop or his assistant will gladly provide the evidence
sexual relationship with minors - our favorite; a 20 year old hooker with a fake or no id and a bamburi cop on standby. even better, a17 year old prostitute with 2 children and 1 deeply concerned bamburi officer as her boyfriend or even pimp. funny enough, you'll find these "minors" in all common bars between 12 and 5 am!!!
sexual harassment - same as above but less expensive
racism - can be anything as we all know...
not carrying an id - bamburi copper knows that your passport is with the hotel and will try to cash in by "not arresting you"
hooker without id - according to the average bamburi cop, it is you who is at fault if your female company does not carry her id. he will get his cut by threatening to arrest both of you until a proper id is produced.
sexual assault - the smart ones at bamburi police finally found out that dildo's are not only woman friendly but also "cop wallet enriching" the wrong hooker will call her right bamburi pimp shortly after having enjoyed the device together with you. usually 3 coppers will come to the poor lady's aid, steal your dildos and charge you.
possession of pornographic material - having fun with your gal, some nude shots with your digicam, possession of drawings of even nude breasts? you are in for a bamburi treat! the kenyan third world law defines almost any form of nudity as pornography.
in kenya, a corrupt cop can arrest you for nothing and without any evidence!!!
remember, once you arrive in kenya, you have also travelled a 100 years back in time. you arrive with enough money that could feed a corrupt bamburi coppers family and his hookers for at least a year – why should he spare you?
part 1
first off i have to mention that i frequently visit kenya since 1990 and made lot's of friends. i even volunteered in severl projects especially in lodwar to help local turkana's drilling boreholes, building sanitary facilities in schools and providing a computer lab donated by my fellow country men. usually i spend about half a year in kenya because of my local girlfriend. i often heard stories about bamburi police and considered most of them tales of unhappy offenders. in all the years in kenya i never had any conflict with police or the law until april this year.
my girlfriend took a flight to mombasa to purchase a new car. she called me the following day and told me that she got the car but would like me to come and drive back to nairobi together. i took the evening flight and arrived at 11pm in mombasa. she came with a friend to the airport from where we left to kahama hotel in bamburi. after some drinks at their restaurant we decided to visit florida nightclub. we met some nice people and had lot's of fun till about 5am when we decided to go home. on the way home we had to pass tembo disco and decided to have "one for the road". not many people there, just a bling bling kenyan with some asian friends and a girl sitting alone at one of the tables. we invited her over and bought her some drinks and food and again had a good time. we drunk ourselves high like kites till about 8am. only one incident turned out to be a bit ugly when the bling bling tried to hit on my girlfriend. he even had the audacity to come right to our place and we told him to go and fuck himself. the reason why i mention this, is because he might have been a cop or cop friend that had something to do with what followed that day.
we left together with the girl at 8am. i run out of money and even had to sign my bill and therefore couldn't give the girl some cash for a taxi. i also was to drunk to drive her all the way home and decided to take her to kahama. my girlfriend booked another room for her and we all went upstairs to finally find some sleep. all of us went first to our room and had a "nightcup" which actually rendered us unconcious. we all fell asleep in our bed and the girl didn't even make to her room. my girlfriend woke me at around 11am and told me that there were 3 people outside the door claiming to be bamburi cops demanding to enter the room. needless to say that we were still drunk and couldn't probably deal the right way with the situation. anyway, the "cops" kept on knocking and our guest woke also up and asked what was going on. we told her that the police is outside and want to search the room. we also told her to ignore them because i wanted to make some phone calls first to find out whether this was a hoax. now, whether the girl got really scared or she was another part of the scam is unclear to me. despite the fact that we told her to wait, she run to the door and invited these people in. they were 2 beach boy like looking males and 1 utterly cheap dressed female (one might think that even a kenyan cop has minimum wages to dress decent). we asked for the purpose of their visit and something like an search or arrest warrant. they could produce nothing but an police id that was expired 2007! once they were in the room they claimed to be tipped off that we are drug traffickers and want to perform a search. me and my girlfriend were still naked at that time and i told them that without id or warrant they can go to hell. i wanted to get my cell from the cupboard and one of the "officers" grabbed my hand and tried to push me back. still under influence of alcohol i took that little guy by his throat and pressed him against the wall. he then handed me my cell phone and i let go of him. some minutes later 5 more officers arrived but this time a bit more official with valid id's and some even in uniform.
now picture this:
the cops went straight for my trousers and my girlfriends handbag, to our surprise they claimed having found some baby powder and a sacchet with a white substance. satisfied with their findings they just had a look into our suitcases and the wardrobe before asking us to come to the bamburi police station to file a report. imagine, i could have had 2 kg of any drug under the bed or behind the curtains - they never even checked under the matress!!! also, if we would have been aware of any drugs in our possession we would have had ample time to dispose of it either by flushing it down the toilet or shoving it up of one of our asses (2 gramms of cocaine according to their statement). we had many containers containing perfumes, soaps and playing cards but these amateurs in corruption and framing didn't care open any of it! i ordered some breakfast earlier on and the room service came up with the order. the waitress took a full tray with cups, plates, ashtray and empty cigarette boxes with her on the way out - no copper checked for any drugs in there either... anyway, i was allowed to take a shower and finally my girlfriend got permission to dress up after some of the coppers finished drooling at her body. they then confirep001ed my trousers (and only my trousers!) and asked us to come to bamburi police station. i enquired whether we are arrested and they said no, we are to make a statement only. the coppers drove in their pickup and me and the girls used our car to go to the station.
once at the station we immediately had to surrender our cell phones to ensure that nobody can be informed to assist us. i was so pissed off and told them to not to forget to search the car as well. they looked a bit dumbfolded at first but then decided to follow my advice - hillarious!!! even then, just having a look in the glove compartment and under the seats satisfied these "experts in investigations". again, if i were a drug trafficker i would have used a spare tyre, first aid kit or even the ashtray to hide my valuable merchandise. these cops wouldn't find jack shitt unless you tell them exactly where to look for. we asked several times of what are the charges against us but never received an answer. i was not even allowed to use my cell to call a lawyer or even my embassy. we have been held without any accusations for about 12 hours at this stinking place called a police station when finally at 11 pm some officers from central police arrived and told us about the charges against us. these (good and professional) officers took our statements, fingerprints and even assisted with some mineral water and cigarettes. we hoped that all would be over soon but to our surprise we had to go back to cell. in the morning we were taken to court in the back of a pickup. also imagine of how one stinks, sleeping a night on the same concrete floor where others [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord140][CodeWord140][/url]. they don't even allow you to respect their own court house by permitting you a change of clothes or shower - imagine people, there is no water for inmates!!!
once in court you will be flocked with hundreds of other arrested people in the cells beneath the building. after some hours they take you to the chambers awaiting hearing. we were accused of two counts of offenses: possession of 2 grams of cocaine grade bla bla bla with a street value of 4000 kes and behold, resisting arrest!!!! what arrest? remeber, we volunteered and even gave a lift to one of the officers! after pleading not guilty "his honor" gave each a bond of 20000 kes with a surety of the same amount. this is now another dilemma: my passport was in nairobi and my girlfriends passport confirep001ed by the police. they all know that without id you'll never be able to go to a bank and withdraw funds for bail. i even had to surrender my passport to the court after it had been flown in from nairobi. no way in hell to get cash or surety without having friends. we had been taken back to the court jail awaiting bail or imprisonment.
end part 1
in part 2 i will give you all the details of how the bribing procedure took place and also some insight on shimo la tewa prison. mzungu being robbed of his personal effects by wardens in court is just another highlight of this anekdote...