Better late than never. Massage in Aguascalientes.
Very little activity here, so get ready for a long report on Aguascalientes. Unfortunately light on MPs, but I did what I could. If you are not interested in the culture or the people or getting and around and doing things, skip to the very bottom.
I spent almost 3 weeks in Aguas visiting family. You would think that would be a lot of time, but I have a lot of family. Full disclosure, I am fluent in Spanish, but look unmistakably American. This was my fourth visit to the city, but the first with an eye on mongering.
The City.
Aguascalientes is an old, traditional town. The government palace is located in the geographic center of the city (Plaza de Patria) and development radiated outward over the last few decades. The city center is the cultural center and full of activities both public and private during the holidays. My first visit there 20 years ago, there was only the first anillo (ring) and they had started "improving" the 2nd anillo. Now, the 3rd anillo is pretty much done. I stayed in the Quality in (formerly Rio Grande Hotel) right in the center of the city between the main cathedral and the State government building. Good price, great location during the holiday season and free breakfast. I took a 4th floor room overlooking the plaza and would sometimes just stand there and watch everything going on. Unfortunately "going on" often continued into way late at night. If you value peace and quiet (think ginormous speakers systems competing with each other). Then get a room not facing the square.
Tourism.
Outside of the Feria de San Marcos in the spring, there is not a lot of International Tourism in the city. That means it is unreasonable to assume that a lot of people will speak English. Most out of towners come from other places in Mexico. That doesn't mean there is nothing to do. Both in the Centro and the outside the city proper. I won't go into all of them, you can check TripAdvisor for that, but the highlights were definitely the Museum of Death, the Discovery Museum of Science, and just walking around the Central Square. Outside the city a visit to Tonala (2. 5 hours drive) for handicraft shopping is well worth it, as is a 3-for-1 trip to the Broken Christ Statue, San Pancho de las Carnitas for lunch and the Boca de Tunel for an excursion.
The Vibe.
Aguas is not located near any major North-South Corridor. It is WAY in the interior of the country. No beaches, no national borders, no Federal Government. I have often thought of it as the state that Mexico forgot. Despite that, it does have a Latin American Modern feel to it. The people are chill, friendly, and helpful. Not once walking, driving or being a passenger did I feel in ANY kind of danger. While I am sure there are drugs (where isn't there?) I saw no evidence of Narco activity or prevalence of gangs. State police WALK around or drive inside of cars, not the pickup trucks full of heavily armed Federales in Mexico City or armored cars in Chiappas. Oh, and this is the cleanest big city in Central America, hands down. Maybe in the Hemisphere. It's not that he common person is more civic minded and uses the innumerable trash bins and cans everywhere, it is because he government employs an army of people to pick up trash 24/7. You can see them almost everywhere, certainly within the first anillo and most of the second. Hidrocalidas (what they call themselves) take great pride in their city's cleanliness, even if they only do marginally more than other Mexicans to keep it that way.
Aguascalientes seems at first glance to be a city with no central planning. You will see 3 story Spanish style houses adjacent to empty lots or brick-walled hovels.
Getting around.
Most places in the 1st anillo are accessible by walking from the centro. Lots of little hidden gems and street meat to sample along the way. Taxis are plentiful except when it is raining or during rush times, when you might wait for 15 minutes until you find an empty one. Then, they may not want to take you any place far away, and can try to cheat you, especially if they smell gringo. I opted for the very robust Uber option. Never had to wait more than a few minutes, and rarely paid more than $3-4 US. No judgements, no kick backs, no bad experiences.
The search for a Happy Ending.
First attempt was to a place recommended to me call Spags. They are on Facebook, TripAdvisor, etc. Benjamin de la Mora # 446 zona centro Call. This is a 100% legit spa. They SPs wear uniforms and surgical face masks and give memorized instructions. I was instructed to wear paper underpants over my boxers. That was a bit embarrassing as I have a pretty ghetto booty. Almost an LMT experience. Facility very nice, hot or cold tea afterwards. Call to make an appointment. Dirt Cheap. $600 pesos / hour (a little over $30) but you can get specials. They have a Jacuzzi, steam room, garden to relax in, lots of other services, all impeccably presented. The most notable thing, however is that they have a special. 18 hour "honeymoon special" that includes all of the above. What a great place to escape with a new friend. They do have some passable English speakers on staff. Atmosphere 10/10. Massage 7/10. Extras 0/10.
Next one I didn't even go to. Was told by a trusted source it was very much the same model at Spags: Buccio Spa: República de Chile 607 Las Américas Cel. Also call ahead to book. Lots of information about them on line, all indications that 100% legit and same price point.
So I found myself alone (finally) for an afternoon, and standing in the middle of the Plaza central. Decided to let Google Maps decide my fate! Closest place to the Centro was Sattvá Yug (Espacio de Bienestar).
Calle Juan de Montoro 201. They are located about 4 blocks from the central plaza, upstairs, door just to the left of an OXXO. Unfortunately the door was locked and they never answered the phone. On to the next closest. "Date un break" in Avenida las Americas:
Av. Las Américas #109 int 5 (Second Floor) Call. The door to go upstairs was closed and locked and no answer to the phone. Fortunately, close to them was Bella Kara. I will save the expense, they are closed, not in business.
Had time to try one more place (and now I need a massage after all the walking, Serenity and Massage, about a half mile from my location. This time I call, and yes, they answer. "Appointment only" they say. But yes they can make an appointment for a half hour from now. Done deal, on my way.
República de Brasil 621, Las Américas.
I arrive and. Walk right past it. Again. And Again. Then I figure out, it is upstairs and the numbers on the street are not in numerical order. I go upstairs, knock. I enter what looks to be the living room of a private home. Met by "Sandra". Mid-30's, right around 5' tall, thick by MP standards, but with big see's pushing out her shirt. Now it becomes a unique experience for me at an MP.
She asks me if I want to use the restroom to wash my hands or [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord111][CodeWord111][/url]. No shit, she used the Spanish "Urinar". I smile, thinking well, we are going to be upfront and straightforward today. I clean up a little, then she takes me to a converted bedroom. Dim lights, very comfy massage table, and asks me to completely undress. A good sign. Up til now, she hasn't taken the house fee or even discussed it, so I figure what the hell, live dangerously. I lay, undraped, face down. She begins pushing on my muscles. I could not credibly call it a massage, but at least she has her hands on me and is moving them in a coordinated, pre-determined way. Used light, unscented oil. We chat, small talk. 30 minutes in, she asks me to go "boca arriba" Still uncovered. Her strokes become softer, slower and longer. She works from the head down to pelvis, skips over main event and spends a few minutes on the legs.
Then she stops, comes over to my head and tells me "The therapeutic part of the massage is over. If you want me to continue, you will have to tip. " I assured her this would not be a problem. She took what seemed to be a handful of oil and just splatted it on my pelvis, then began to spread it over the twig and berries. She makes appreciative noises as little man gets in the game. I reach up for the double handful of chesticles, and she says "more tip. " once again I assure her no problem. Still haven't talked price yet, even for the "therapeutic" part of the massage. With a little coaxing and another "more tip" out come the twins in all their glory. Big, floppy and fun. In a few minutes little man expends himself, but she doesn't stop with the handiwork until he is completely drained and asleep. She finishes the time with a scalp massage. That was actually the most MT like part.
She directs me to not tell the boss about the extra part, and leave the tip under the pillow. I finally ask about paying the house fee. She says you can give the $200 pesos to the boss. Yes, I heard right. About $10 for the hour. If only she were more trained. I leave another $200 for a tip (sorry locals if I over-tipped) and walk out happy. And a bit smug that I was able to find an he by myself!
As I leave, I pay the boss, Claudia the house fee. She is about the same age, a little thinner, and prettier and even flirtier. She assures me they can speak English well enough for non-Spanish speakers and gives me a card. I ask if I come back if she will provide the massage and she is all smiles and agrees. Pity I didn't have another opportunity to escape. Uber ride back to the Centro and my experience ends.
Happy mongering!
Best place to pop once or twice.
I'll be visiting Aguascalientes for a few weeks and I'm looking where I can pop once or twice. Something like a MP or even a strip club. I read that "Las Violetas" is my place to go, any recommendations?
My half-assed romp in Aguascalientes
Welcome to Aguascalientes; the city of churches, chaskas why elotes, and Las Violetas! Aguascalientes is a very conservative city with a butt-load of churches. And just about everyone wore masks inside and outside!
Why Aguascalientes?
I'm starting to travel once again and part of my goal is to travel to every state in Mexico. Plus, I didn't have to travel internationally.
Note: I flew there and back only using my passport card. Passport book was not required!
Flight:
I flew Volaris round trip from Tijuana. I had no idea what the trip cost because I had to rebook the trip twice and each time the price was higher.
I used the CBX from Otay to the Tijuana airport and back; I highly recommend CBX. CBX round trip was 30 bucks. CBX has grown a lot in the last two years. So many damn cars, but it did not seem like there were a lot of travelers. The FMM was somewhat of an issue because I tried to use the 6-month FMM that I use to enter Tijuana and it was not accepted. Thus, I had to get another, but there was no charge for it.
Taxi to hotel and back to the airport: From the airport, I paid at the taxi booth 260. Back to the airport from the hotel, Jorge took me and I paid 300 plus a nice tip.
Hotel:
I stayed at the Fiesta Americana in the center of the city. I paid around $200 for three nights. It was a very nice hotel with a pool, restaurant, bar, spa, and then some. My floor had the guest lounge and serve beer and snacks.
The staff was extremely friendly and helpful. I did not know if the place was "Girl friendly" because I did not try to bring a girl to my room.
Getting around town:
My first night started out crappy because I planned to go to a restaurant and I tried using pinche uber. My first try, it was a 12 minute wait, then the fucks changed me to a different driver and it became a 15 minute wait after I already waited 10 minutes for the first driver! I said, "fuck this" and started walking to look for a taxi.
It seemed like I was walking forever and a day, and then some! Then I saw one empty cab on a corner and I made a beeline towards the taxi; that's when I met Jorge. Jorge is a happy go lucky dude and he agreed to my hourly fee and off we went. BTW, I have his WhatsApp number if someone needs his service.
Communication:
I have the North American T-Mobile plan, so calls, texts, and the using internet were included. I communicated with Jorge using WhatsApp.
Restaurants / Markets / Street Food:
I did a lot of research before I left and here are my thoughts on the food scene:
Restaurants:
Mochamos Excellent.
Messicana Excellent.
La Fronda (Hotel) Good.
Markets:
Mercado Juarez All the stalls only seemed to have Birria; I was in search of lechon.
We went to two other markets, a lot larger than Mercado Juarez. At one we found lechon tacos; which were just OK.
Street Food:
The king of carts in the city were "Chaskas & Elotes. " They were everywhere in the city. After traveling in Mexico for all these years, I finally found out the difference between the two. Yes, I feel humiliated! And for christ's sakes, enough of the fucking mayonnaise already!
Spanish:
Because Aguascalientes is not a Gringo destination, very little English is spoken. The top hotels and restaurants may have a few employees that speak English. But that's about it.
The mongering scene:
I knew before hand, the scene would be very limited because I was there on a Monday and Tuesday evening. But I tried my best anyway.
First up, Las Violetas!
Las Violetas is nothing more than a large compound surrounded by walls and fences. And it was in the middle of nowhere. It seemed there was one way in and one way out. Jorge warned me about the place and told me there are a lot of thieves throughout the place. At the entrance, there was a so-called security guard that took me in the first room and frisked me like I was a red headed stepchild! He told me the entrance fee was 90 pesos. And on the way out the fuck asked me for a tip! That night there were only two bars opened:
Club: VIP.
Cover: none.
Ficha: 260.
Sex: Yes, for $100 or 2000 for 30 minutes.
On site: Yes, but outside it was more expensive.
Number of chicas: Normally 8-9, I saw 6.
Quality of chicas: Good to "Hell no!" Most of them were a tad chunky.
Night / Time: Monday /10:30.
Comments: Nice club and the girls helped me with my club / bar list.
Club: El Violin.
Cover: none.
Ficha: 300 WTF!
Sex: Yes, for $100 or 2000 for 30 minutes.
On site: Yes, but outside it was more expensive.
Number of chicas: 10.
Quality of chicas: Good to "Fuck no!" Most of them were a tad chunky.
Night / Time: Monday /11:00.
Comments: A few doable, but not worth the asking price.
We went the next night (Tuesday) at 9:00 because all the girls said there would be a lot more bars / clubs open; pinche mentirosas!
It started out like crap and stayed that way for a while. Instead of a security guard, there was a crooked cop at the entrance. He told Jorge to move his car; even though most of the huge lot was empty! This was a ploy by the bastard. He called me in the room and had me put my hands against the wall (like the night before) and he became very aggressive. My right front pocket had my phone my left front had my money, but not all of my money. He was forcing his hand in my pockets like he was fucking my pockets. He took my money out of my left pocket and told me to hold it. Oh what a nice person!
Then he asked for my ID and that was a place I did not want him to search. I showed him my ID and put that money away in a different pocket. At that point he became even more aggressive and started fucking my left pocket again! It was yet another ploy. He wanted to divert my attention to the empty pocket and meanwhile, he found the money that I was trying to hide from him. I lost about 3000 to 4000 pesos, but I did not discover that until later. Then the bastard asked for 95 pesos to enter!
That night, there was only one club open; VIP and the rest were shut down! Jorge and I walked around the ghost town, took a few pictures, and left rather quickly. I'm pretty sure the place will have more open clubs / bars on Thursday through Saturday. My thoughts: I was not worth even going because of the high prices and the risks that comes with the place.
Other bars / clubs:
Bar: Up & Down.
Cover: none.
Ficha: 50.
Sex: 700 for 1 hour. + 350 for the room.
On site: No.
Number of chicas: Saw two, but told there are 9 to 10 on the weekend, starting Thursday.
Quality of chicas: I liked both; they were not hotties in any sense, but both were very friendly and loved to chat.
Night / Time: Monday / midnight.
Comments: I really liked one of them, especially when her eyes lit up when I told her I wanted my tongue in her ass! She told me they will be working at Mirage Tuesday night and I was planning to see her again.
Club: The Blue Cat.
Cover: none.
Ficha: 200.
Sex: 2000 for 1 hour.
On site: Yes.
Number of chicas: Normally 20, but I only saw 12.
Quality of chicas: Not sure, it was too dark and none of them approached us. They all stood their distance or were busy with other dudes.
Night / Time: Tuesday /10:00.
Comments: Nice club and lay-out; but needs more lighting!
The other bars / clubs that I had on my list:
Chicago Club: We strolled in the place late Tuesday evening. It is a really nice club with a great lay-out, but there were only two old dudes in the place; one server and the manager.
Quinta 81: Everyone we asked told me (including Jorge) the same thing; the place is dangerous and the customers are always fighting. And being a Gringo, they would whop my ass as soon as I entered the place. Thus, I passed.
Mirage: This was the place where I was supposed to meet the girl from Up and Down. But the place was fucking closed!
Street girls: I thought I saw several street girls, but they turned out to be street boys. Another blow to the trip!
Final thoughts on Aguascalientes:
As I said before, I believe the monger scene would be a lot better from Thursday Saturday, but I can't tell you that for sure.
Would I ever return to Aguascalientes? No, I have many places left to explore in Mexico.
Como siempre, Solo mis dos malditos pesos, por supuesto!