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Watt St isn't for the faint hearted.

Great value, but the rooms have walls which stop about 18 inches before the ceiling, so you get to hear, with perfect clarity, the grunting and moaning from...

Can anyone tell me what the going rate is at the place opposite the Vic Market? Haven't been there since Covid. And probably, just as importantly, is it worth a visit these days?

Thanks in advance.

Dropped into a shop in Epsom Rd which has always looked promising.

Met by a pretty Chinese girl in her 20's, who showed me the room. Undressed, down to my jocks, and lay down. It's always a good...

Had a mediocre experince with Locanto a few years back, but thought I'd give it another go.

My bad.

Studied the form, and picked what I thought was a demure, but quite gorgeous girl, who was...

Boys, I'm thinking of dipping into a Locanto, or Secret Hostess booking once again.

I tried once, about three years ago, and it was fairly underwhelming. The girl, while not too bad looking, was...

Does anyone here remember Nikki, the old, fat Thai lady who used to operate out of her house in St Albans?

In one sense, she was a shocker. She must have been well into her 60's, had a pot belly...

I had one named Melissa a few weeks ago. Think she only works Fridays and weekends, but she was pretty good. DFK, BBBJ, was prepared to do BBFS, but I asked for a raincoat, which she happily...

All very well, as long as you're not put off by the sounds of savage humping taking place in the rooms either side of you, with walls that don't reach the ceiling.

Was down at Bairnsdale last week, and feeling a bit towy. Had walked past a few AMPS, and after Googling "Erotic Massage", got directed to Jasmine Chinese Massage in Nicholson St, just behind the...

Just saw the one girl, and heard no others in the time I was there.

Haven't been down that end, mate. A bit too much foot and car traffic for my liking.

Moonee Ponds is fast becoming a punters' paradise, with at least 6 massage parlours within the area from Moonee Ponds junction to the top of Holmes Rd offering confirmed RnT. And there's probably...

I've been to the one a couple of doors up from Blucher St. Nothing doing there. No private rooms, just areas separated by curtains.

Very good massage though. You lay on nice futons on the floor,...

Been there twice. One was an older lady, 35-40 who, bizarrely, for the first half of the massage, had a younger girl in the room. For work experience, evidently. And was constantly explaining to her...

Haha! While on that uncomfortable topic, I was quite relieved this year when my GP didn't do the finger up the clacker check. Asked him why not, while stressing to him that I wasn't complaining. He...

I have, albeit before the change of management last year. Certainly worth a visit up until then, guessing that it still is.

Directly opposite that place, about ten years ago, there was a great little RnT place $80 for a BBBJ, all up. Long gone, sadly. Not the massage place on the far right, I think it was the second shop...

The other one on the same side is good. Got a beautiful Thai girl. Can't remember the cost (was winter last year. Like you, I prefer the early darkness), Might've been $50-60 for nude HJ with...

The slipway one is average. Very popular, but IMHO, not VFM.

Re your earlier Buckley Sts, assuming you mean the one at the end of the President's Rd (there's another on the same side, a couple of...

When this lockdown ends, there's going to be a queue around the block of every AMP in Melbourne.

Yep, that's the one. Glad to hear that it's now safe to revisit!

Do you mean the one around the corner from Margaret St, in Homer St? I went there a few years ago, when it was definitely legit. They tried to line me up with a male masseuse! But I think there's...

Popped into the place in Keilor Rd, opposite Bradshaw St, just before lockdown. Relatively discreet location, being set in a bit from the busy road, and upstairs. $60 for 45 minutes, or $70 for the...

Cheers, FJ, thanks for the tip. I'll let you know how it goes!

Once a Ground Zero for AMPS, Footscray seems to be shedding them quickly.

Went for a walk around the Barkly / Paisley Sts area for the first time in a few years, as well as around the market and...