Davao

[Sharka]

I could give a girl P50k now, but it would be wasted. Much better to give P4k per month or even better P1k per week



BD.

To take it one step further. Never sent any girls any money no matter how small. Only if you are actually living in PI (or any other country for that matter) and the girl is always with you or living with you, then I could see giving her a small allowance spending money for her to buy a few things she needs, like cosmetics or clothes. And don't be shy about asking her or showing you what she's been buying with the money you gave her as this would hold her accountable.

I've been to many bars and bar fined many girls that once I gotten to know them have told me they are in a current relationship with a foreigner and have WU support every 2 weeks.

Like BT Barnum said in his famous line " there's a sucker born every minute".

Cheers.

[Sam 14]

If anyone's thinking about a romantic getaway to Samal, you may want to postpone for awhile. If you haven't heard, the island has been without power (hence running water) for three weeks now. A ship must have drug up the cables.

[Sam 14]

You can give a filipina any amount, and in three days it will be gone, with nothing to show for it. Not even a sack of rice in the kitchen. And she won't know what became of it. <Snip> If you really care, go the extra mile. Do the shopping. Make sure the groceries get home. Take her to the clinic, talk with the doctor, fill the prescription yourself. Mother in the hospital? Go visit, find out the truth of the situation. Money for tuition? Go to the bank and get a manager's check, made out to the school.

Or you can just share some of your money and let the girl do whatever she wants with it. It is all in our heads, right? <Snip> So I learned to no harbor any opinions about how my donation are spent. What is happiness?

Good points. If we no longer think of what can be good for others, and how other's benefit could also enhance ourselves, then maybe it's time for an inner look at our spiritual self, right?

There must be a balance between being generous, but not over paying for something that's not worth it. Living within our means, but still helping others. Random acts of kindness, but not being foolish with our hard earned money.

Do you not give the kid on the street a few pesos because it only encourages begging, and he'll probably just buy candy or a smoke? Or do you do it anyway, thinking it will make his life a tiny bit better for a minute? A friend of mine tipped the waiter $300 USD because he used to a bartender and liked the tips. But he's in debt in his business and his house.

I give each of my girls about the equivalent of what they'd make working a basic job. One of them has no food or money, so I give her small bits of cash, and she does whatever she wants with it. One already has a roof over her head and food. So I get her stuff that she would otherwise never buy if the money just landed in her lap. So she's probably the only one in her barangay getting lightning speed 4G (11 mbs), while I can't even stream a fucking video. I could get the pussy for cheaper, but I feel like I'd be sex shoplifting, as the late D33 used to put it. So that's my balance. I sacrifice a little but it's still win win.

[Member #4491]

Thanks, Soapy, Poly and DG (sound like the characters of a bad criminal series LOL. Like Hunter and Dee Dee Mcall). It always gives me hope when sharing and caring is chosen before the capitalistic greed grinder. Not the least when I can do such a choice myself.

Caring for our karma feels naturally good, and we do not have to argue so much about that way with ourselves. No life long capitalistic training or arguing on ISG needed for that instant feeling of doing the right thing. So probably the right way for us all to walk, in the long run. We can not bring anything where we are going, but our deeds lives on, and it feels good to do some good sometimes.

Many times I think the cynicism when it comes to giving girls money comes from a feeling of poverty. Of not having enough. Or getting enough. We sometimes read statements from grown up and proud men that trick young girls to have sex with them to save a dollar. Or to imagine they are still young and handsome. We have probably all visited that swamp of ego at some point. The false feeling of "not having or getting enough" is unfortunately prevalent in humans. This feeling is a bit like Sarimner (English incorrect spelling due to demand for not using non English letters), the pig / goat of Valhalla. Even if we kill it in the afternoon by clinging on to a few pennies or doing something "smart", it will be there the next day when we wake up again. Unless we choose to change our minds and see what we actually have been blessed with. Bodhidharma really nailed it IMHO:

"The ignorant mind, with its infinite afflictions, passions, and evils, is rooted in the three poisons. Greed, anger, and delusion."

I sound like one of those religious / ultra socialistic know it all guys now, but I swear I am not. Just a normal guy that is trying to reprogram his mindset from what he was brainwashed to want for, to something more realistic and holistic.

Soapy, I am back in April again. I come every third or forth month, since almost ten years. I know I will meet some of my ISG buddies there, and will always be glad to meet new mates if anyone is around.

All the best!

Barba

[Soapy Smith]

Or you can just share some of your money and let the girl do whatever she wants with it. It is all in our heads, right? The feeling of not accomplishing anything for not having done something "productive", is just an opinion. Barba

And, it's an opinion based on Western assumptions about "success" and "progress" and some Protestant Ethic about sobriety, hard work, discipline and frugality. The Phils forum has been dominated by mudslinging lately, so your comments gave me--and obviously a couple others--something to smile about for a change. Welcome back to the Philippines, Barba.

[PolyOrchid]

Well said, Barba. When I think of the joy, pleasure, and memorable experiences I have had with these girls around the world, I am a very rich man. And to be stingy with any of them is truly unforgivable for me. But, to each his own.

I love this, "It is all in our heads, right?" Good to remember everywhere in life.

Or you can just share some of your money and let the girl do whatever she wants with it. It is all in our heads, right?......
I give money because it makes me feel good. Like I am sharing what I was fortunate to get in life. I was lucky in the birth lottery. My country is among the ones having a ball grip on the third world. So a minute of my time amounts to a day of others. There is no real logical reason for this inequality on a personal level.

Karma is now.

Barba

[Dg8787]

Or you can just share some of your money and let the girl do whatever she wants with it. It is all in our heads, right? The feeling of not accomplishing anything for not having done something "productive", is just an opinion.

I remember when the girlfriend of my friend resigned from her little shit hole selling ice cream. She wanted to spend more time with family and friends. Now how great is that? She is still alive by the way. Asking men for money. Hustling.

I have sponsored several "girlfriends" to an education over the year, and in all cases it amounted to just about nothing. The second latest, miss Teen Big Tit, ditched all ambitions and became the second wife to a Muslim teacher. The last in the line just doped out of school to do nothing.

It has been like this with all of them, but during the ride they where happy and I felt like I made a change. This is one of those occasion where the intention matters more than the outcome, to me.

I give money because it makes me feel good. Like I am sharing what I was fortunate to get in life. I was lucky in the birth lottery. My country is among the ones having a ball grip on the third world. So a minute of my time amounts to a day of others. There is no real logical reason for this inequality on a personal level.

So I learned to no harbor any opinions about how my donation are spent. What is happiness?

Karma is now.

Barba

While the negative nellies are trying to digest this concept and then form a thought and then respond, I will give you a thumb's up and an Amen.

[Member #4491]

Or you can just share some of your money and let the girl do whatever she wants with it. It is all in our heads, right? The feeling of not accomplishing anything for not having done something "productive", is just an opinion.

I remember when the girlfriend of my friend resigned from her little shit hole selling ice cream. She wanted to spend more time with family and friends. Now how great is that? She is still alive by the way. Asking men for money. Hustling.

I have sponsored several "girlfriends" to an education over the year, and in all cases it amounted to just about nothing. The second latest, miss Teen Big Tit, ditched all ambitions and became the second wife to a Muslim teacher. The last in the line just doped out of school to do nothing.

It has been like this with all of them, but during the ride they where happy and I felt like I made a change. This is one of those occasion where the intention matters more than the outcome, to me.

I give money because it makes me feel good. Like I am sharing what I was fortunate to get in life. I was lucky in the birth lottery. My country is among the ones having a ball grip on the third world. So a minute of my time amounts to a day of others. There is no real logical reason for this inequality on a personal level.

So I learned to no harbor any opinions about how my donation are spent. What is happiness?

Karma is now.

Barba

[Cbea20]

In my humble opinion, there are at least two lessons here. (1) Every pretty girl already has a boyfriend. Ok, never mind "pretty". At best, she is "in between" BFs. The girls who disappear, who get pregnant--keep this rule in mind. You are not the only man in her world.

(2) In most cases, there's no point in giving money, except as payment of course. You can give a filipina any amount, and in three days it will be gone, with nothing to show for it. Not even a sack of rice in the kitchen. And she won't know what became of it. Very likely, others have "borrowed" it from her. Maybe the boyfriend. If you really care, go the extra mile. Do the shopping. Make sure the groceries get home. Take her to the clinic, talk with the doctor, fill the prescription yourself. Mother in the hospital? Go visit, find out the truth of the situation. Money for tuition? Go to the bank and get a manager's check, made out to the school. (Your name will not appear on it.).

The frequency and recurrence of poor decisions, lack of foresight and abysmal living conditions among the more impoverished classes here is appalling, but not new. Given that the Philippines is the only ASEAN country to have reported an increase in poverty over the past ten years likely indicates that the problem is getting ever worse. The amalgamation of extraordinary poverty, malnutrition, poor education and desperation culminates, in part, in woeful levels of ignorance. These ladies, amd their families are the victims of indifferent and thoroughly corrupt governments and a feudal system that relentlessly exploits the poor. This doesn't mean that the inability to foresee outcomes of poor decisions should be conflated with stupidity. However, it's unsurprising that poor Filipinos are forced, through dire necessity to focus only on meeting their needs in the immediate present, on surviving today before worrying about tomorrow.

To paraphrase James Hamilton-Patterson, despair has persisted for so long that it's become part of the cultural genome.

GE.

I don't know DG, good question, thanks. I was kinda asking myself why I should bother sharing the story. I suppose the point was just what I said, a look into the some of the sad choices some of these girls make. Not necessarily not choosing me, but choosing to have a baby. What makes it worse is that I was looking for someone like them. We don't know if they're better off with or without me. They always say "God's will".

I'm on a fixed income DG, and I like to travel when possible. So I don't have a budget to help girls that I'm not involved with. Unless I sell my property. But that would kill my income. I suppose I could go back to work and send money from home. Maybe you could chip in a few? Advance thanks. I did see the last one while she was 5 months pregnant, and I gave her 2 boxes full of stuff and 1,000 peso before I left the country. And the one with appendix, I gave her enough to get out of the hospital. And the very first one, we did have a date set up. But now all of a sudden she was asking for 2,000 pesos. That's what used to make both her and her sister happy. Apparently that baby made her better. But like I wrote DG, I've found someone that deserves the extra money that I set aside each month, and I can not justify taking away from her to give to someone else. Thanks.

[Pute Nut]

I most certainly never implied or suggested that Pute Nut. I was replying to another post where he hadn't heard the term "walking" before. I said the term had been used euphemistically for a very long time. The discussion just happened to be on the Davao thread.

RK, did you, by any chance, notice the leading "no"? In this case it implies agreement with the previous poster as in "you are right, walking (as used here) was not invented in Davao". Which, in hindsight, may be a better wording. English is not my mother tongue.

I was, of course, aware of the previous exchange with regards to the use of walking as an euphemism for SW.

Anyway, the reason for my comment was that I merely wanted to add that pinaywalks is now a paysite that wants your money (and details).

[GoodEnough]

Sam 14,

Very moving account. As you point out, sometimes money helps but often it's either irrelevant or just another day in Failureville, only this time with a free fish.

One foolish ex-pat set up a girl with free rent for the year and enough money for expenses. But she couldn't stop hooking, and was bringing customers back to the room he had paid for. This last summer she was an emaciated husk--I hear it was TB, and she looked like she was near death. What was tragic was that it didn't have to be like that.

The frequency and recurrence of poor decisions, lack of foresight and abysmal living conditions among the more impoverished classes here is appalling, but not new. Given that the Philippines is the only ASEAN country to have reported an increase in poverty over the past ten years likely indicates that the problem is getting ever worse. The amalgamation of extraordinary poverty, malnutrition, poor education and desperation culminates, in part, in woeful levels of ignorance. These ladies, amd their families are the victims of indifferent and thoroughly corrupt governments and a feudal system that relentlessly exploits the poor. This doesn't mean that the inability to foresee outcomes of poor decisions should be conflated with stupidity. However, it's unsurprising that poor Filipinos are forced, through dire necessity to focus only on meeting their needs in the immediate present, on surviving today before worrying about tomorrow.

To paraphrase James Hamilton-Patterson, despair has persisted for so long that it's become part of the cultural genome.

GE.

[Achmmc]

Sam 14,They have been taught "God's will" .... The laws of cause and effect are never taught to them
Dg8787.

That is probably right on the mark, or certainly all to close to the terrible truth of situation in the Philippines.

[Red Kilt]

No, walking was hardly invented in Davao.

I most certainly never implied or suggested that Pute Nut. I was replying to another post where he hadn't heard the term "walking" before. I said the term had been used euphemistically for a very long time. The discussion just happened to be on the Davao thread.

[SergeantRay]

Sam 14,

Very moving account. As you point out, sometimes money helps but often it's either irrelevant or just another day in Failureville, only this time with a free fish.

One foolish ex-pat set up a girl with free rent for the year and enough money for expenses. But she couldn't stop hooking, and was bringing customers back to the room he had paid for. This last summer she was an emaciated husk--I hear it was TB, and she looked like she was near death. What was tragic was that it didn't have to be like that.

[BrainDrain]

I don't know DG, good question, thanks. I was kinda asking myself why I should bother sharing the story.

Thanks for taking the time to share.

Going through my mind was all of the stories that I've heard from the girls too. Unfortunately there is only so much we can do.

I've thought of supporting one or two girls myself. There are so many things that come up that makes it difficult. I know that giving them one off payments, they just payback their loans or do the major expense. Two days later they are no better off.

An ongoing payment over an extended period might help but I don't think they have the needed financial skills to budget. There are barriers to this. Mainly the cost of small international transfers. I could give a girl P50k now, but it would be wasted. Much better to give P4k per month or even better P1k per week

Happy hunting.

BD.