Taipei

[Markt1]

Does anyone know any reputable escort agency that has a certain standard on quality?

[PIpimp]

Not really. It's about an hour from TPE to Taipei, depending on traffic, then another hour back. Plus depending on how busy the airport is security check could take some time too.

It's a bit too close for comfort.

Probably better to look for a place closer to the airport.

Cool. Thanks a lot!!

[AsiaFever]

I have a 3 hour 20 minute layover in Taipei in March. Would that be enough time to visit this place?

Not really. It's about an hour from TPE to Taipei, depending on traffic, then another hour back. Plus depending on how busy the airport is security check could take some time too.

It's a bit too close for comfort.

Probably better to look for a place closer to the airport.

[PIpimp]

Several times I headed west from Bangka Park across the Xiyuan Road / Guangzhou Street intersection to check out the Huaxi Night Market area. On each visit there was an approximately 50 year old lady standing on the southwest side of the crossing who I nicknamed "Smiley". Big teeth, big smile, big body, and a knee-length dress and support stockings covering her big legs.

She would always beckon me to come with her by tightly grabbing my arm and would not take no as an answer. I would have to use my fingers to pry her strong hands off my arms as I walked away.

Her visual sales pitch was a right index finger poking her closed left hand indicating intercourse and tongue slurping sounds indicating a blow job.

I had seen several somewhat attractive older hookers leading old men up stairs to their lairs, and curiosity got the best of me. $1,000 was a cheap enough price and I had already convinced myself that the service would be terrible, so I figured I had little to lose and was excited to try out a new environment. As Smiley probably doesn't get a lot of customers, I hoped that she would take good care of me. Her persistence wore me down, so I finally agreed to her sales pitch.

As we walked to her building she held my arm tightly. Not like a boyfriend / girlfriend embrace but rather like a police officer leading a potentially fleeing criminal to the squad car. We boarded an elevator to the 6th floor and it opened to a mysterious KTV setup.

A white shirted man lead us to a videoke room with a long curved fake leather couch, then brought a tea pot and two cups. Once the door was locked and the money paid, she sat me down on the couch and immediately began tugging at my belt and unzipping my cargo shorts. She reached into her purse for a bottle of lubricant and set it on the table. Surprisingly, she started sucking without slapping on a condom.

I've had hundreds of blow jobs in my life, but what followed was easily the most amazing one I've ever had. As I began to grow, she stopped and sprayed my cock with lubricant, then started jerking the lower 2/3rd of my cock with her hand while doing a fast swirly sucking motion with her mouth on the upper 1/3rd.

After getting sufficiently hard, I motioned that I was ready for intercourse. Instead of stopping for a condom and laying the couch, she stands up, pulls down her stockings, turns away from me and begins to lower her ass toward my belly, intending to push my penis inside her pussy without a condom.

My previous Chinese providers had extreme phobias about sperm and bare penile contact, so I was extremely shocked by her allowing me to go bareback. But I am a 100% condom-usage guy for intercourse, so I motioned to her to just continue the BJ.

Normally when I get close to exploding, the girl eases up and lets the ooze shoot into the back of her throat. But not this lady. As I got ready to shoot, she kept swirling and sucking at the same rapid rate while continuing to hand-jerk my shaft.

The result was the most amazing oral climax of my life, as her fast mouth and tongue titillated every penile nerve ending. My pelvis shuddered, my legs were shaking, and my brain was convulsing as I exploded into her mouth for around 10 seconds. She just kept sucking away until I indicated she could stop, with no gag reflex. I expected her to spit it onto the floor, but she ended up swallowing every drop.

It took at least 30 seconds to gather my wits and start to recover from the world class BJ. While I was basking in the glow, she immediately pulled up her undergarments, applied fresh lipstick, and yanked me to my feet.

Over the next three days I seriously contemplated taking another streetwalker but could not stop thinking about that blow job. So on my last day in town, I found her again so I could determine whether my response was due to her technique or because of the titillation that comes from doing it in a new place.

Same time of day, same gal, same room, same result.

I have no plans to revisit Taipei but if I do, I'm definitely coming back to find Smiley. I'm sure she'll be working that corner for another 15 years until she qualifies for an old age pension.

I have a 3 hour 20 minute layover in Taipei in March. Would that be enough time to visit this place?

[PIpimp]

Why would someone pay with HKD in Taiwan?

9200 Taiwan Dollars is about 300 USD.

My bad. I was just on the Hong Kong thread and got confused. LOL.

[SedNabokos]

You mean 9,200 Hong Kong Dollars, which is 1,178 USD?

Why would someone pay with HKD in Taiwan?

9200 Taiwan Dollars is about 300 USD.

[PIpimp]

Been told I may be laid off after Chinese New Year. Who knows. To fix mood, decided I wanted to go mongering. Hit up my regular 幹37096; Mr. Fish (who's actually a woman) for a quick recommendation. My usual ladies were booked, so I asked for someone who was busty but pretty. Mr. Fish did not disappoint. They directed me to visit 昆20940; kun ling to their Nong'An shop.

Unfortunately there was some traffic and I arrived 30 minutes late. When I arrived, I was kind of lost. The shop was located on level B1, next to a posh Mitsui restaurant. Heading down, I was welcomed into a bright marble decorated place. It felt very strange. Almost like I was walking into one of the nicer offices in the 101.

I proceeded to pay the 台36027; - which in this case was 3200. Stored all my personal items except for my wallet and smart watch into a small cubby and then a young person, almost thugish but dressed in a suit came out with a metal detector wand. He scanned me for "contraband" and then proceeded to take me behind a sliding door into a hallway peppered with rooms. I was take into room Bxxxx. The room, albeit small, is definitely one of the better massage rooms I've been in in ages. There were two chairs, a small vanity table / desk. A decent sized massage bed. Almost the size of a full bed but for massage with the head hole. And nice bathroom with shower and toilet. The shower actually had good water pressure and heat.

After entering, I proceed to clean myself up while awaiting 昆20940; to show up. Within a few minutes, while cleaning my balls, I hear a knock and in comes this gorgeous looking young woman. I'm assuming she's no older than 25 (could be 30 for all I know given that Asian don't raisin). She was about 170 Cm tall wearing a skin hugging black dress that showed off her assets very well. She was almost jessica rabbit proportioned. I was at full salute. She giggled and proceeded to strip down into only her thong.

What followed was a simple massage and "ant crawl" where she slowly tickled my backside leading to her fingers running up and down my pole. This process lasted a few minutes before without prompting or discussing fees, she started licking my testicles from behind. It was incredible. A few minutes of that, she asked me to flip over and started giving me a tongue bath. Her huge tits, felt fake but I couldn't see the marks, were pendulous, swinging back and forth as she moved across my body. I couldn't resist and asked her to "feed me". She obliged and proceed to smother me with her chest. Few minutes later, she got to brass tacks and said that her fee for full service as 8 k and she doesn't just do blowjobs. This was way way expensive, and even for how hot she was, I couldn't justify the spend.

A bit of back and forth and more chest smothering, we came down to 5 k if I'm quick about it. Still expensive, but god damn. After exchanging the bills, she strips down, cleans her self a bit in the shower and tells me to lay on my back, she proceeds to tongue bath my cock like a cat licking catnip, all the while playing with my balls. She eventually motioned to go 69, which I happily obliged. It must've been the anti-bacterial solution she was using but her cooch smelled of lemons and sugar, I couldn't resist licking her pussy lips while she worked up and down my dick. As I licked away, she would twitch ever so cutely with soft moans, it was a massive turn on. At one point, she couldn't resist and just sat directly on my face as I ate her out for a few minutes. She then motioned to put a cap on me and started to mount me. As soon as I entered her tight twat, she squirted. It wasn't a small squirt, it was like a gush of water just hit my pelvis. There was enough force that there was splash back that hit me in the chest and lower chin. She appologized profusely saying that she's quite sensitive. I've never made a working girl squirt before, so it was a huge turn-on and massive confidence builder.

She proceeded to mount me again, ever so slightly, arching herself back and away from me like she was going into cow girl. She proceeded to rub on top me for a few seconds before pulling me out and squirting a second time. Mind you, this wasn't like a stream of pee squirt, but like full on porno squirt, with a force to be reckoned with. I was drenched down there and her twat as tight as it was, was throughly lubricated. We proceeded to go like this with her on top for about 10 minutes before proceededing to her getting on all fours and me going at it from behind. From this angle, her ass was like a peach. It was so good to grab onto it while she tried to get away as she gushed all over my legs. A few minutes of pumping, she fully siezed and climaxed, and as she was, I felt the shivers and squeeze from inside her and I blew my load. Despite how wet she was, she almost squeezed hte condom off me when I pulled out.

Throughly sastified, we engaged in some post sex small talk and then I proceeded to help her change the sheets. We then went to the shower, where she proceeded to clean me with her voluptuous breasts. When she finished washing the soap away, she proceeded to suck me off some more. I came a second time, right onto those tits. As I'm typing this now, my cock is aching from all the action it recieved today.

Nuff said. Mood restored. Confidence boosted. Almost worth the money.

TLDR:

WG: 昆20940;.

Age: stated age by pimp - 22, looked about 25 ish. She said she was 23.

Height: 165+ CM without heels.

Weight: no more than 40-50 kg.

Body type: Slim / Toned 8/10.

Chest: I think they're Fake. Definitely DD's.

Ass: Not flat 7/10.

Service: Full.

Face: 7-8/10.

Blowjob: 8/10 very good! Not enough suction but damn good pole work.

Tightness: 8 - pretty pretty pretty good.

Cost: $$$ total damage was 9200 for 1 HR 30 minutes.

Others: Massage wasn't bad.

Would I return? Probably not. This was way more expensive compared to my usual spending with Mr. Fish. My regular, albeit not as hot as Kun Ling, sets me back about the 7000 for a two hour unlimited shot session and that includes a hotel room and 0 overhead expenses outside of buying condoms.

For those interested. Fish Spa requires Mandarin language abilities. I don't think they take obvious foreigners. I know they do take halfies if language isn't an issue.

You can find Fish Spa if you look up Fish hypen Spa dot club.

Best of luck to ya'll out there.

You mean 9,200 Hong Kong Dollars, which is 1,178 USD?

[Nemo798]

Been told I may be laid off after Chinese New Year. Who knows. To fix mood, decided I wanted to go mongering. Hit up my regular 幹37096; Mr. Fish (who's actually a woman) for a quick recommendation. My usual ladies were booked, so I asked for someone who was busty but pretty. Mr. Fish did not disappoint. They directed me to visit 昆20940; kun ling to their Nong'An shop.

Unfortunately there was some traffic and I arrived 30 minutes late. When I arrived, I was kind of lost. The shop was located on level B1, next to a posh Mitsui restaurant. Heading down, I was welcomed into a bright marble decorated place. It felt very strange. Almost like I was walking into one of the nicer offices in the 101.

I proceeded to pay the 台36027; - which in this case was 3200. Stored all my personal items except for my wallet and smart watch into a small cubby and then a young person, almost thugish but dressed in a suit came out with a metal detector wand. He scanned me for "contraband" and then proceeded to take me behind a sliding door into a hallway peppered with rooms. I was take into room Bxxxx. The room, albeit small, is definitely one of the better massage rooms I've been in in ages. There were two chairs, a small vanity table / desk. A decent sized massage bed. Almost the size of a full bed but for massage with the head hole. And nice bathroom with shower and toilet. The shower actually had good water pressure and heat.

After entering, I proceed to clean myself up while awaiting 昆20940; to show up. Within a few minutes, while cleaning my balls, I hear a knock and in comes this gorgeous looking young woman. I'm assuming she's no older than 25 (could be 30 for all I know given that Asian don't raisin). She was about 170 Cm tall wearing a skin hugging black dress that showed off her assets very well. She was almost jessica rabbit proportioned. I was at full salute. She giggled and proceeded to strip down into only her thong.

What followed was a simple massage and "ant crawl" where she slowly tickled my backside leading to her fingers running up and down my pole. This process lasted a few minutes before without prompting or discussing fees, she started licking my testicles from behind. It was incredible. A few minutes of that, she asked me to flip over and started giving me a tongue bath. Her huge tits, felt fake but I couldn't see the marks, were pendulous, swinging back and forth as she moved across my body. I couldn't resist and asked her to "feed me". She obliged and proceed to smother me with her chest. Few minutes later, she got to brass tacks and said that her fee for full service as 8 k and she doesn't just do blowjobs. This was way way expensive, and even for how hot she was, I couldn't justify the spend.

A bit of back and forth and more chest smothering, we came down to 5 k if I'm quick about it. Still expensive, but god damn. After exchanging the bills, she strips down, cleans her self a bit in the shower and tells me to lay on my back, she proceeds to tongue bath my cock like a cat licking catnip, all the while playing with my balls. She eventually motioned to go 69, which I happily obliged. It must've been the anti-bacterial solution she was using but her cooch smelled of lemons and sugar, I couldn't resist licking her pussy lips while she worked up and down my dick. As I licked away, she would twitch ever so cutely with soft moans, it was a massive turn on. At one point, she couldn't resist and just sat directly on my face as I ate her out for a few minutes. She then motioned to put a cap on me and started to mount me. As soon as I entered her tight twat, she squirted. It wasn't a small squirt, it was like a gush of water just hit my pelvis. There was enough force that there was splash back that hit me in the chest and lower chin. She appologized profusely saying that she's quite sensitive. I've never made a working girl squirt before, so it was a huge turn-on and massive confidence builder.

She proceeded to mount me again, ever so slightly, arching herself back and away from me like she was going into cow girl. She proceeded to rub on top me for a few seconds before pulling me out and squirting a second time. Mind you, this wasn't like a stream of pee squirt, but like full on porno squirt, with a force to be reckoned with. I was drenched down there and her twat as tight as it was, was throughly lubricated. We proceeded to go like this with her on top for about 10 minutes before proceededing to her getting on all fours and me going at it from behind. From this angle, her ass was like a peach. It was so good to grab onto it while she tried to get away as she gushed all over my legs. A few minutes of pumping, she fully siezed and climaxed, and as she was, I felt the shivers and squeeze from inside her and I blew my load. Despite how wet she was, she almost squeezed hte condom off me when I pulled out.

Throughly sastified, we engaged in some post sex small talk and then I proceeded to help her change the sheets. We then went to the shower, where she proceeded to clean me with her voluptuous breasts. When she finished washing the soap away, she proceeded to suck me off some more. I came a second time, right onto those tits. As I'm typing this now, my cock is aching from all the action it recieved today.

Nuff said. Mood restored. Confidence boosted. Almost worth the money.

TLDR:

WG: 昆20940;.

Age: stated age by pimp - 22, looked about 25 ish. She said she was 23.

Height: 165+ CM without heels.

Weight: no more than 40-50 kg.

Body type: Slim / Toned 8/10.

Chest: I think they're Fake. Definitely DD's.

Ass: Not flat 7/10.

Service: Full.

Face: 7-8/10.

Blowjob: 8/10 very good! Not enough suction but damn good pole work.

Tightness: 8 - pretty pretty pretty good.

Cost: $$$ total damage was 9200 for 1 HR 30 minutes.

Others: Massage wasn't bad.

Would I return? Probably not. This was way more expensive compared to my usual spending with Mr. Fish. My regular, albeit not as hot as Kun Ling, sets me back about the 7000 for a two hour unlimited shot session and that includes a hotel room and 0 overhead expenses outside of buying condoms.

For those interested. Fish Spa requires Mandarin language abilities. I don't think they take obvious foreigners. I know they do take halfies if language isn't an issue.

You can find Fish Spa if you look up Fish hypen Spa dot club.

Best of luck to ya'll out there.

[Amazake]

Amazake, here's a link to his videos.

https://www.youtube.com/@feng-624/videos

Are these all Longshan area? I find them quite difficult to watch cause the videos are very shaky.

Amazake, here's a link to his videos.

https://www.youtube.com/@feng-624/videos

Are these all Longshan area? I find them quite difficult to watch cause the videos are very shaky.

First off, thank you for your kind efforts in making it so easy for myself to review the videos. I could not review all of them. But, from those that I did review, as far as I can make out, it seems that they are basically focused on one area of the Longshan Temple site. He seems to be continually walking the circle around the XiChang Market, down Guilin and from Kangding to Guangzhou.

From those that I reviewed, I don't believe he ventured down the alleys into the center of the action by the Diamond Building, unless I missed that video. Also, from what I saw, I did not see the Huaxi Night Market and the alleys and tea shops.

Some of the staple girls in the XiChang Market look familiar. While a few others that are really standouts, I have not seen. I don't know if he dated his mission. Not sure if it is very recent footage.

It is not an easy task, filming while walking, and avoiding suspicion. Some of the girls smiled photogenically, and I doubt they would do so, had they known his video was running. Videoing might also anger the gangs and police. It is a risky shoot. With just a phone concealed, pretty good job.

When I find more time, I will review more in depth. Also, I do not read Chinese characters, and I speak mediocre Chinese.

Again, I thank you very much for the easy link.

[Scruffman]

Here's another YouTube CATGOPlay, can't seem to get YouTube to my files. If this is Taipei the caliber is pretty high, well worth 60 us. A safe country, good restaurants sounds good to me. I'll be in Chinatown Saturday for a day of fun.

[Banana Boi]

Yeah that looks Longshan area, Amazake's hunting ground.

Amazake, here's a link to his videos.

https://www.youtube.com/@feng-624/videos

Are these all Longshan area? I find them quite difficult to watch cause the videos are very shaky.

[Scruffman]

Can't download video to this site. Just search feng-624 on YouTube and it will bring you to his site. Don't really know if I'll visit Taipei or Hong Kong but I'm having so much Chinese success here. But all the ladies I visit are from mainland China. There's a massage parlor / happy ending one block from house and I live in a nice neighborhood.

[Amazake]

At at feng-624 he posts a bunch of videos all look good.

Sorry for my complete lack of electronic / computer / media skills. I have no idea what fang-624 means. I will ask for very precise instructions to view this video. That would be very amusing. I thank you in advance. Much appreciated.

[Amazake]

"Monger is torn between health vs pleasure. ".

In all honesty and all sincerity, (I mean, as much as a monger can be trusted) I went to Wanhua in need of a legit massage, first and foremost.

But, no matter how good he might be, I certainly am not giving a dude the honor and privilege, which some of these places offer. Nor do I want a lady taking Centrum Senior Plus Silver Multivitamins giving me her last breath on this blessed earth, massaging me.

Of course, as any bonafide monger would do, I did preview the alleys, nooks and crannies for working girls, just to see what I stand to lose in this therapeutic obligation to the health of my body. And, it was a slow night, the regular mediocrity. Thank God, nothing really outstanding to sabotage my intention.

So, then, every bit as diligently, and as meticulously, as I hunt and scour those streets hunting for suitable bedmates, I set upon an odyssey to find a healthy balance between a kick-ass body dismantling and healing massage, with a masseuse that in some way fulfills my gnawing hunger for healing therapeutic's talent, along with sweetness and beauty.

Now, boys, let's face it, that's a pretty tall order, and, if she could do all that, and, cook, too, I would propose marriage on the spot.

And, I searched the legit spas that are most obvious on Sansui Street, Guangzhou, and Huaxi, and just could not commit, or was haunted by past memories of the spas inability to deliver the "Dual Threat / Daily Double" of a kickass massage, and good looks, at the very least, and the remote possibility of a handjob and the further farther remote possibility of a short romp as an unexpected dessert after a good meal.

After striking out at all the above places, I hit that Huaxi Mall covered walk-through Arcade where they have so many Viet manicure / pedicure shops, massage shops, snake meat, sex-toy shops, clothing stores, restaurants. It is a nice mall. Had manicures / pedicures there very often until they cut and filed my fingers and toes so brutally that I developed swollen fingers and infections on my fingers and toes.

Anyway, just to make a short story long, a youngish good looking massage store manager caught my attention. They want your business as much as a bear wants food after a winter's hibernation. She talked me up pretty good, (basically begged) and I gawked her up even better.

The monger in need of a therapeutic was intrigued and we got a little flirty. I told her my needs, that I have frozen-muscles and needed a good thaw, and I want a gal who can walk, dance, jump, trot, and perform as a ballerina on my back and every other body part. She told me she had a master-masseuse, best in the business, a true professional, and a money back guarantee. (I'll sell you some swamp-land in Hualien if you believe the money back guarantee part).

Anyways, I agreed, and believed her 110% because she was convincing and sold me. But, she said I have to wait. Made me comfortable and gave me tea.

Of course, in the meantime, the old monger, the Scrooge, the demon, The Grinch, started to churn the wheels of immoral thoughts feverishly. Because, although I fully believed the hot looking manager, that her employee could deliver the goods on a great massage, the question still remained, at what cost to my mongering pride and hunger for feminine sensuality? Putting it quite simply, I'm sure she can massage, but, what does she look / act like? Because, if pure mechanics was all that massage requires, I could just purchase me a mechanical massage chair.

The thought came to me to fake a seizure or a heart attack or some other dire emergency and do a monger bolt, hit the nearby alleys, forget about my tree-stump aching neck, grab one of my regulars and impale her good and proper, and that might release my tension short and sweet, far better than a long drawn out massage.

But, the desperate monger, having been in this conundrum prior, went to Plan be. Pulled aside the good looking manager, and with typical monger audacity and lack of any sophistication whatsoever, after waiting a good ten minutes and fantasizing about the cute young massage girl just finishing up her rice and side dishes for dinner, I blurt out, "give me her. ".

The owner was shocked. She said that the master was about ready for me. And in my mind, the mere title "master" implies great age and wisdom. Neither of which I wanted tonight.

I further protested that I can't wait any longer, I am late and this little sweetie will do me fine. She retorted that I am making a huge mistake because the young girl is at best, an amateur. I fought back that I will teach her and as long as she can keep her balance and walk on my body, she will be great.

Of course, the cute girl is delighting in this battle. Here I am, a stranger, fighting for her, Classic good against evil, the generous customer verses her oppressive boss.

It all ended when the boss / manager shouted out to me in no uncertain terms, "You can't have her! And, with that shocking blast, disintegrated my hopes and fantasies; my fate sealed.

Well, it's time to see what's behind door number 3. And, it wasn't the shiny red convertible. More like a station wagon from from a 1950's used car lot. Every bit as I had suspected.

I made one more plea, monger-style, "she is too heavy, and might fall on me and hurt me. Please, give me the tiny cute Tinkerbell! I think I was almost in tears at this point. And, Tinkerbell lit up like a firefly with my last gasp efforts to win her. But, the madame told me that the master is ready and to be careful climbing the stairs. My fate was upon me.

Got upstairs, stripped down and got ready for my therapeutic with the master, who also happens to be a granny.

Well, once realizing that this is my fate and there will always be tomorrow, after the granny loosens me up and I become a well-tuned machine to make up for this travesty on another night, I surrendered.

And the master was indeed a master. She worked me hard. No escaping it. She was everything she was promised to be, and more. Those Centrum Silver Senior Vitamins obviously work. I should take them myself.

And, lo and behold, after tenderizing every muscle, she showed me mercy in the end. I asked her to tenderize that stiffness between my legs that she missed. The granny giggled. Closed the curtain to avoid the surveillance camera, oiled me up, as she was laughing silly, whacked, squeezed, tickled, cupped, stroked the shaft to completion, and sent me to the showers. There was a comfort not really experienced so often in years of mongering prior. This strong grandma took such delight in this little escapade, seemingly, and she gave it great matronly attention.

85 minutes great legit massage, 1 k. Followed by a 5 minute merciful HJ, by a surprisingly wonderfully flattered granny, for another half of the legit rate. Honestly speaking, I decided on the tip, which she considered generous. She probably would have drained me for free. But, nobody likes a cheap foreigner. We need to maintain our dignity as generous visitors who are always welcomed back.

(Incidentally, I call her a granny, but in all likelihood, I probably surpassed her in years on this earth).

All in all, it really was a good night. I have gone on a rather long run of massages recently after exercising beyond my capacity. Enough of the over-exercising and enough of the legit / semi-legit massages, as I will get back to some old time rock and roll with these ladies.

Thank you for your patience, your attention, and for hanging out with me here. God Bless you all, be safe, and enjoy the wonderful Christmas Season, celebrated so well in Taiwan.

[Amazake]

"Monger is torn between health vs pleasure. ".

In all honesty and all sincerity, (I mean, as much as a monger can be trusted) I went to Wanhua in need of a legit massage, first and foremost.

But, no matter how good he might be, I certainly am not giving a dude the honor and privilege, which some of these places offer. Nor do I want a lady taking Centrum Senior Plus Silver Multivitamins giving me her last breath on this blessed earth, massaging me.

Of course, as any bonafide monger would do, I did preview the alleys, nooks and crannies for working girls, just to see what I stand to lose in this therapeutic obligation to the health of my body. And, it was a slow night, the regular mediocrity. Thank God, nothing really outstanding to sabotage my intention.

So, then, every bit as diligently, and as meticulously, as I hunt and scour those streets hunting for suitable bedmates, I set upon an odyssey to find a healthy balance between a kick-ass body dismantling and healing massage, with a masseuse that in some way fulfills my gnawing hunger for healing therapeutic's talent, along with sweetness and beauty.

Now, boys, let's face it, that's a pretty tall order, and, if she could do all that, and, cook, too, I would propose marriage on the spot.

And, I searched the legit spas that are most obvious on Sansui Street, Guangzhou, and Huaxi, and just could not commit, or was haunted by past memories of the spas inability to deliver the "Dual Threat / Daily Double" of a kickass massage, and good looks, at the very least, and the remote possibility of a handjob and the further farther remote possibility of a short romp as an unexpected dessert after a good meal.

After striking out at all the above places, I hit that Huaxi Mall covered walk-through Arcade where they have so many Viet manicure / pedicure shops, massage shops, snake meat, sex-toy shops, clothing stores, restaurants. It is a nice mall. Had manicures / pedicures there very often until they cut and filed my fingers and toes so brutally that I developed swollen fingers and infections on my fingers and toes.

Anyway, just to make a short story long, a youngish good looking massage store manager caught my attention. They want your business as much as a bear wants food after a winter's hibernation. She talked me up pretty good, (basically begged) and I gawked her up even better.

The monger in need of a therapeutic was intrigued and we got a little flirty. I told her my needs, that I have frozen-muscles and needed a good thaw, and I want a gal who can walk, dance, jump, trot, and perform as a ballerina on my back and every other body part. She told me she had a master-masseuse, best in the business, a true professional, and a money back guarantee. (I'll sell you some swamp-land in Hualien if you believe the money back guarantee part).

Anyways, I agreed, and believed her 110% because she was convincing and sold me. But, she said I have to wait. Made me comfortable and gave me tea.

Of course, in the meantime, the old monger, the Scrooge, the demon, The Grinch, started to churn the wheels of immoral thoughts feverishly. Because, although I fully believed the hot looking manager, that her employee could deliver the goods on a great massage, the question still remained, at what cost to my mongering pride and hunger for feminine sensuality? Putting it quite simply, I'm sure she can massage, but, what does she look / act like? Because, if pure mechanics was all that massage requires, I could just purchase me a mechanical massage chair.

The thought came to me to fake a seizure or a heart attack or some other dire emergency and do a monger bolt, hit the nearby alleys, forget about my tree-stump aching neck, grab one of my regulars and impale her good and proper, and that might release my tension short and sweet, far better than a long drawn out massage.

But, the desperate monger, having been in this conundrum prior, went to Plan be. Pulled aside the good looking manager, and with typical monger audacity and lack of any sophistication whatsoever, after waiting a good ten minutes and fantasizing about the cute young massage girl just finishing up her rice and side dishes for dinner, I blurt out, "give me her. ".

The owner was shocked. She said that the master was about ready for me. And in my mind, the mere title "master" implies great age and wisdom. Neither of which I wanted tonight.

I further protested that I can't wait any longer, I am late and this little sweetie will do me fine. She retorted that I am making a huge mistake because the young girl is at best, an amateur. I fought back that I will teach her and as long as she can keep her balance and walk on my body, she will be great.

Of course, the cute girl is delighting in this battle. Here I am, a stranger, fighting for her, Classic good against evil, the generous customer verses her oppressive boss.

It all ended when the boss / manager shouted out to me in no uncertain terms, "You can't have her! And, with that shocking blast, disintegrated my hopes and fantasies; my fate sealed.

Well, it's time to see what's behind door number 3. And, it wasn't the shiny red convertible. More like a station wagon from from a 1950's used car lot. Every bit as I had suspected.

I made one more plea, monger-style, "she is too heavy, and might fall on me and hurt me. Please, give me the tiny cute Tinkerbell! I think I was almost in tears at this point. And, Tinkerbell lit up like a firefly with my last gasp efforts to win her. But, the madame told me that the master is ready and to be careful climbing the stairs. My fate was upon me.

Got upstairs, stripped down and got ready for my therapeutic with the master, who also happens to be a granny.

Well, once realizing that this is my fate and there will always be tomorrow, after the granny loosens me up and I become a well-tuned machine to make up for this travesty on another night, I surrendered.

And the master was indeed a master. She worked me hard. No escaping it. She was everything she was promised to be, and more. Those Centrum Silver Senior Vitamins obviously work. I should take them myself.

And, lo and behold, after tenderizing every muscle, she showed me mercy in the end. I asked her to tenderize that stiffness between my legs that she missed. The granny giggled. Closed the curtain to avoid the surveillance camera, oiled me up, as she was laughing silly, whacked, squeezed, tickled, cupped, stroked the shaft to completion, and sent me to the showers. There was a comfort not really experienced so often in years of mongering prior. This strong grandma took such delight in this little escapade, seemingly, and she gave it great matronly attention.

85 minutes great legit massage, 1 k. Followed by a 5 minute merciful HJ, by a surprisingly wonderfully flattered granny, for another half of the legit rate. Honestly speaking, I decided on the tip, which she considered generous. She probably would have drained me for free. But, nobody likes a cheap foreigner. We need to maintain our dignity as generous visitors who are always welcomed back.

(Incidentally, I call her a granny, but in all likelihood, I probably surpassed her in years on this earth).

All in all, it really was a good night. I have gone on a rather long run of massages recently after exercising beyond my capacity. Enough of the over-exercising and enough of the legit / semi-legit massages, as I will get back to some old time rock and roll with these ladies.

Thank you for your patience, your attention, and for hanging out with me here. God Bless you all, be safe, and enjoy the wonderful Christmas Season, celebrated so well in Taiwan.