Thai Women - Opinions & Advice

[Retired Army]

i just got back home from a trip to the los and had a hell of a time. i've been quite a few times now and dated a thai university grad for a few years that i met in the states and considered marrying. just this past week while sitting in the biergarten on soi 7 at one of the side tables and having a bite to eat i caught a look at this beautiful young lady sitting across the bar. most of the girls will look at you and smile and nod their head or make some flirting gesture, but this one just looked away and then back again in a little bit. after i finished eating i walked over and talked to her and she said she thought i was looking at another lady. we went upstairs and played pool for a little bit and then over to gullivers for a few games. i'm terrible at the game, but she was pretty good. when it was time to say goodbye we talked about going back together. i liked the way she carried herself and sense of humor so i took her back. i see some real assholes dealing with women in these places and i believe in showing them respect until they give me reason not to. we're all *****s in our own way. some girls are gfe and some are just about getting down to business. we hung around and talked for a little while before and after and she left. great experience i thought and i'm off to samui for a week. next night i'm in bangkok i see her at absolute bar while listening to some chick singing like tina turner. she's with a farang and he's dancing all over her. she sees me and a little while later comes over to talk to me. we head upstairs and she kills me at pool again and we end up at the hotel. all night. great experience and she gives me her number. she tells me she's happy i chose her again instead of taking another lady. we talk about meeting the next evening for a movie so she shows up at my hotel at 6pm as planned (shocking) and we're off to ekkamai to eat at some place where you order all sorts of things and cook them on the table as a soup. we're joking around and she's being really sweet. doing things like filling my soup bowl first, pouring water, and showing me how the whole restaurant thing works which you don't find in the states generally. old world feminity. it isn't that i want someone to serve me, but i found a certain grace and politeness in her actions as i do in opening the door for a woman, giving her my coat, or helping her out of a vehicle. even at the hotel she would fold my clothes and offered to take them home and wash them for me because she had a place she could wash them cheap though i declined the offer. we went to the movies and were holding hands. she gives me the thai kiss from time to time. after finding out the newest indiana jones wasn't that great we head back to my hotel. all night. i put money under her purse for when she is ready to leave the next morning she says i don't have to give her money and gives it back to me. i put it in her purse when she's not looking and she's on her way. next evening i don't see her at the biergarten so i give her a call to say hello. she's with her sister in the room and says she doesn't go to the biergarten every day. the following evening i give her a call because she's not there again and we meet up. she says she didn't want to interrupt me the night before because she thought i might want to have a different lady so she didn't want ask to meet me. she gives me the i'm a thai lady and we do not ask the man to do this or that. we spend the next few days together and i really enjoy her company. she's 28, but not jaded like she's been a bar girl since she was 18. her english is pretty good, but not great and not the same bar girl english you find so much of. i speak a little thai so we worked it out. said she used to work in some big hotel in bangkok. no children. never married. says she just started coming to the bar a few weeks prior to meeting me and stays with her sister who is married to an american. she says she's not a bar girl. says she's going to open a store in petchabun and is making money for it. she didn't talk to any of the other girls at the bar because she said she didn't know anyone there. she wasn't really modest which i was a little confused by. my old girlfriend would get naked in the sack, but would cover up after a shower and when changing or laying around. this girl would [CodeWord134] and clean up with me in the same room while i was taking a shower like we were married or something. she walked around naked like it was just a natural thing to do. she was very clean and dressed modestly. she didn't kiss on the mouth, didn't do oral which i didn't press, and wasn't mechanical about sex. i kind of feel like a dumbass writing this. she's a bar girl right? i'm a bit cynical from knowing some other ladies. thing is, i really hated leaving and wished i could have spent more time with her. i can't tell about this one, but i would like to see her again.

no arguement here. you is what you is... at least you are smart enough to know it.

[Gangles]

I have been reading the last few posts, and I thought that I would add a few comments to the discussion.

Firstly, about the statements that there is plenty of P4P in Thailand. This is partly true, but there is far more in the US, and Australia and other western countries. There are more prostitutes per head of population in Australia than in any asian country. You can get any kind of sex, any time, men, women, boys, girls. Prostitution is openly advertised in the local newspapers, brothels are legal. So it is important to get the facts right to put things into correct perspective.

Secondly, I have a Thai gf who had never been into a bar before I took her. She had very little sex with her husband before she divorced. Since we have been together, she has blossomed, knows that there are no limits on what she can do, loves to be naked, loves sex, now that she has found that she can get so much pleasure and satisfaction from sex. In public, she is still shy, and I respect her for that.

I do not believe that all Thai women just want money and the visa. My gf certainly has never asked for either. Except that I have asked her to take a massage course, and I have paid for it, likewise, I am funding her through her English classes. She has a regular job, is looking at setting up a business, and her family is pretty well off middle classs.

Gangles

[Old Thai Hand]

Most Thai people try to put on a good appearance. And about private things like sex and P4P ladies in their community they don't talk much even with each other. And I'm not surprised that you have yet much to find out about what's going on there despite living in the community for 12 years.

Well, this is where you're wrong. I listen to what the Thais are saying, not what they tell me (in English). By your own admission, you only know P4P, a decidedly narrow segment of the culture.

The reason why I've been able to find out so much more about P4P activity in the community where I've visited and stayed many times is because I had a P4P lady as my confidant and guide.

OK. So, you're an expert on P4P activity in your community. This is atypical knowledge, which give little insight into anything but P4P.

Also, due to my poor knowledge of Thai language.

This says it all. BTW, it's very unlikely that the people around you in your P4P girl's community are speaking Thai. They're probably speaking Isaan, unless you're in Buriram or Surin, in which case they may be speaking Khmer.

The young unattached ladies probably know about it because of the lewd suggestions and the offers they get from the horny men. And the horny men of course know about it too. Because they are the ones who keep this whole P4P thing going. But everybody else may be just as ignorant about it as you are.

What about the majority of women who are not in P4P, in any way? They get propositioned all the time by low-life Thai lizards and are not pre-disposed to fall for it because they know these guys are usually a dead-end.

You also said in one of your earlier posts something to the effect that a Farang couldn't possibly sweet-talk a TG like a Thai man could. This is rubbish. If you know the lingo and more importantly the nuances of tone and pronounciation, it's quite easy to actually get further with them because at least most Farang represent possibilities to a lot of both P4P and certain types of non-P4P TGs.

I actually "sweet-talked" an Isaan girl last night and she went all giggly and shy on me and thought I was so cute for what I said. It wasn't really the words, so much, but the way they were said and the fact that it was a 'Bakseeda' บักสีดา (Farang) speaking Isaan. TGs love it when a Farang speaks their lingo.

Here's a simple phrase for you to try out.

Jao seu ee-nyang ja. Jao pen na hak ih-lee der. เจ้าซื่อหยัง เจ้าเป็นน่าฮักอิหลีเด้อ

Ask your P4P girl to translate it for you.

[M P Lurker]

....this girl would [CodeWord134] and clean up with me in the same room while i was taking a shower like we were married or something. she walked around naked like it was just a natural thing to do. she was very clean and dressed modestly. she didn't kiss on the mouth, didn't do oral which i didn't press, and wasn't mechanical about sex. i kind of feel like a dumbass writing this. she's a bar girl right? i'm a bit cynical from knowing some other ladies. thing is, i really hated leaving and wished i could have spent more time with her. i can't tell about this one, but i would like to see her again.

well she may not have technically been a bar girl previously but she does seem a bit forward. could have previously worked in massage or done occassional free-lance work, or anything that gets her used to be being seen naked. its quite possible that she stretches the truth.

you can't really judge anyone by what they say. how they act gives more clues.

[Opebo]

I'm not sure what you mean by 'assuming the worst about people'. Sure, there is a lot of P4P going on in Thailand. But who is to say that this is bad?

The plentiful availability of P4P ladies in Thailand is actually what attracted me to Thailand in the first place. For me this is the best Thailand has to offer.

Oh no, don't get me wrong. I did not mean to imply there is anything 'bad' about P4P. I also agree it is the best Thailand has to offer, by far. Certainly it is the only reason I came here, other than the cheapness.

I only meant that in general assuming the worst about people anywhere in the world is the most accurate.

[Aslan]

i just got back home from a trip to the los and had a hell of a time. i've been quite a few times now and dated a thai university grad for a few years that i met in the states and considered marrying. just this past week while sitting in the biergarten on soi 7 at one of the side tables and having a bite to eat i caught a look at this beautiful young lady sitting across the bar. most of the girls will look at you and smile and nod their head or make some flirting gesture, but this one just looked away and then back again in a little bit. after i finished eating i walked over and talked to her and she said she thought i was looking at another lady. we went upstairs and played pool for a little bit and then over to gullivers for a few games. i'm terrible at the game, but she was pretty good. when it was time to say goodbye we talked about going back together. i liked the way she carried herself and sense of humor so i took her back. i see some real assholes dealing with women in these places and i believe in showing them respect until they give me reason not to. we're all *****s in our own way. some girls are gfe and some are just about getting down to business. we hung around and talked for a little while before and after and she left. great experience i thought and i'm off to samui for a week. next night i'm in bangkok i see her at absolute bar while listening to some chick singing like tina turner. she's with a farang and he's dancing all over her. she sees me and a little while later comes over to talk to me. we head upstairs and she kills me at pool again and we end up at the hotel. all night. great experience and she gives me her number. she tells me she's happy i chose her again instead of taking another lady. we talk about meeting the next evening for a movie so she shows up at my hotel at 6pm as planned (shocking) and we're off to ekkamai to eat at some place where you order all sorts of things and cook them on the table as a soup. we're joking around and she's being really sweet. doing things like filling my soup bowl first, pouring water, and showing me how the whole restaurant thing works which you don't find in the states generally. old world feminity. it isn't that i want someone to serve me, but i found a certain grace and politeness in her actions as i do in opening the door for a woman, giving her my coat, or helping her out of a vehicle. even at the hotel she would fold my clothes and offered to take them home and wash them for me because she had a place she could wash them cheap though i declined the offer. we went to the movies and were holding hands. she gives me the thai kiss from time to time. after finding out the newest indiana jones wasn't that great we head back to my hotel. all night. i put money under her purse for when she is ready to leave the next morning she says i don't have to give her money and gives it back to me. i put it in her purse when she's not looking and she's on her way. next evening i don't see her at the biergarten so i give her a call to say hello. she's with her sister in the room and says she doesn't go to the biergarten every day. the following evening i give her a call because she's not there again and we meet up. she says she didn't want to interrupt me the night before because she thought i might want to have a different lady so she didn't want ask to meet me. she gives me the i'm a thai lady and we do not ask the man to do this or that. we spend the next few days together and i really enjoy her company. she's 28, but not jaded like she's been a bar girl since she was 18. her english is pretty good, but not great and not the same bar girl english you find so much of. i speak a little thai so we worked it out. said she used to work in some big hotel in bangkok. no children. never married. says she just started coming to the bar a few weeks prior to meeting me and stays with her sister who is married to an american. she says she's not a bar girl. says she's going to open a store in petchabun and is making money for it. she didn't talk to any of the other girls at the bar because she said she didn't know anyone there. she wasn't really modest which i was a little confused by. my old girlfriend would get naked in the sack, but would cover up after a shower and when changing or laying around. this girl would [CodeWord134] and clean up with me in the same room while i was taking a shower like we were married or something. she walked around naked like it was just a natural thing to do. she was very clean and dressed modestly. she didn't kiss on the mouth, didn't do oral which i didn't press, and wasn't mechanical about sex. i kind of feel like a dumbass writing this. she's a bar girl right? i'm a bit cynical from knowing some other ladies. thing is, i really hated leaving and wished i could have spent more time with her. i can't tell about this one, but i would like to see her again.

[Retired Army]

The plentiful availability of P4P ladies in Thailand is actually what attracted me to Thailand in the first place. For me this is the best Thailand has to offer.

Then I truly feel sorry for you. Thailand has so much to offer and P4P is just a small part. And unfortunately, not the best part of Thailand or Thai society.

[Dan7373]

In Thailand, like everywhere else, one may appear preternaturally knowledgable by simply assuming the worst about people.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'assuming the worst about people'. Sure, there is a lot of P4P going on in Thailand. But who is to say that this is bad?

If the Thai people are satisfied to live the way they do. Then who are we to judge their way of life?

The plentiful availability of P4P ladies in Thailand is actually what attracted me to Thailand in the first place. For me this is the best Thailand has to offer.

[Retired Army]

Perhaps you have forgotten that I don't claim to have more or better experience of Thai society than other people in this forum have.

I simply trust the information and the explanations my P4P lady gave me about her community where she has lived most of her life. And I trust her expertise in this matter a lot more than I trust yours or that of other farangs. Because she is from Thailand. And you are not. And she knows a lot about the P4P scene in Thailand from her own life experiences and from the friends she keeps.

I don't want to get personal about this. But it sounds to me like you claim to be a better expert on Thai sociey than someone who was born there and who intimately knows her community. Which is ludicrous.

There is no way I could know more about Thai culture than a Thai. What you know is what she tells you. But, to be more correct, you know what she wants you to know. And that may, or may not, be the truth. A lot of P4P girls have a warped sense of reality.

[Opebo]

In Thailand, like everywhere else, one may appear preternaturally knowledgable by simply assuming the worst about people.

[Dan7373]

No one ever accused you of lying, just not having a clue what you are talking about. As a Farang, even if you came to Thailand the day after you were born and live here your entire life, you still aren't going to know Thailand the same as a Thai native....

Perhaps you have forgotten that I don't claim to have more or better experience of Thai society than other people in this forum have.

I simply trust the information and the explanations my P4P lady gave me about her community where she has lived most of her life. And I trust her expertise in this matter a lot more than I trust yours or that of other farangs. Because she is from Thailand. And you are not. And she knows a lot about the P4P scene in Thailand from her own life experiences and from the friends she keeps.

I don't want to get personal about this. But it sounds to me like you claim to be a better expert on Thai sociey than someone who was born there and who intimately knows her community. Which is ludicrous.

[Ozirob]

So everyone is agreed, then. We only know what we know.

[Retired Army]

Perhaps there are many different realities in Thailand. And you get to experience only some of them, depending on your social status and connections with the local people.

Just because your experiences have been different from mine doesn't necessarily mean that one of us must be lying. Both of us are probably right. And the reason for the difference is that we've experienced different parts and different aspects of the same Thai society.

No one ever accused you of lying, just not having a clue what you are talking about. As a Farang, even if you came to Thailand the day after you were born and live here your entire life, you still aren't going to know Thailand the same as a Thai native. What I am saying is that you might think you know Thailand, Thai women and culture, but you don't, because you can't. A perfect example is the Indian community. Some of then have lived here for generations and they aren't included or considered Thai. I first came to Thailand in 1973 and have live here for a total of seven years since that time. I am married to a Thai and I don't know squat about Thais. Just when I think I do, I am proven wrong.

[Dan7373]

OTH, you must now bow to the master. Dan7373 has cracked the code on Thailand and Thai women and society. And, all this while on vacation in some rice picking village in Issan with a P4P girl. My hats off to him, and OTH... you might as well hang it up buddy, your days are numbered. You are about to be out classed by a real Thai expert.

I am humbled by Dan's posts. Being married to a Thai myself, and having traveled all over Thailand with her and visiting her friends and family, I still haven't a clue about what really goes on in Thailand and have just accepted that's the way it is and is always going to be.

Perhaps there are many different realities in Thailand. And you get to experience only some of them, depending on your social status and connections with the local people.

Just because your experiences have been different from mine doesn't necessarily mean that one of us must be lying. Both of us are probably right. And the reason for the difference is that we've experienced different parts and different aspects of the same Thai society.

[Neufie]

I deal with Thais close-up and personal every day. And, yet, I'm only partially privy to the deep, inner workings of Thai people.

I'm curious. When you gathered all your in-depth information from the locals in order to form your declarative views, did you do it in English, Thai, or Isaan? If you don't speak the lingo, you never can begin to know much about what people are actually thinking.

I'm sticking to my opinion that you have a very narrow view of a very small part of Thailand and are not really in a position to comment beyond that.[/QUOTE]I would add the it is very rare to find a lad that can drop his own and absorb the new correctly. Doesen't happen. So what OTH says is not only correct, but makes sense in my practical application. On ?, I say, without language and help with context, real life usage/ Thai usage; it is almost not possible to integrate - relate is the best that I can see possible.

Best Regards,

Neufie