Melbourne

[Engine Driver]

I decided that all the posts here regarding the fake ads on Locanto couldn't be true, so I made my first booking, after checking out all the girls listed available in my area. <snip>

So fellow mongerers, your warnings went unheeded, to my cost. I don't think I'll be trying Locanto again any time soon.

That's a very funny report. Yes, there's absolutely nothing to see on Locanto except old boilers from China on tourist visas.

[Ercildale]

I decided that all the posts here regarding the fake ads on Locanto couldn't be true, so I made my first booking, after checking out all the girls listed available in my area.

I settled on Lydia. Her CV read as follows:

"I am Lydia, a high class sexy girl, an Independent busty escort and masseuse.

If you are into young Asian girls you are in luck, I am a very sensual and affectionate with a prefect proportion figure, Escort with a sexy size 6 body. Natural Double the cup breast. I am the one who you like to cuddly as a kitten in bed all day and I will drive you crazy (in good way) on and off bed.

I am young but sensual girl know how a man should be treated. Relax and let me do the work let me give you some GFE.

I offer real Girlfriend experience, cuddling, kisses and I am full of passion because I like what I am doing.

I promise you 100% satisfaction. Look forward to hear from you soon!

I also enjoy the following:

# Passionate girlfriend experience.

# Sucking, Licking.

# Nuru massage.

# Kissing.

# Showering.

# Sex in multiple position.

Full GFE.

20 minutes $100.

30 minutes $130.

45 minutes $170.

60 minutes $200".

Pretty good, I thought. The photos accompanying her ad looked highly promising as well. I rang the number provided, which rang out, but within a couple of minutes, got a text reply, and after a couple of exchanges, a booking was arranged. I took the 45 minute option. The person replying to my messages seemed very fluent and conversational, just like in her ad. Arrived at a house in the western suburbs, rang the door. The girl answering the door, while not unattractive, didn't look like Lydia from the ad, but whatever. Not a size 6 body, nor a double the cup breast. Probably mid-20's, a tad overweight, but not a bad face and figure. She was holding her mobile phone, and looked slightly surprised to see me. She asks, "How long?" in broken English. Hang on, didn't I tell you in the text message? Strange. I hand over my money.

Anyway, down to business. "You want shower? She asks. "Ah ha! I think, "This is where we have a shower together". Unfortunately, no. She leads me to a bathroom, then, as I undress, I see her standing way up the other end of the hallway, head still buried in her phone. I have a shower alone, then wander back to the bedroom, which is illuminated by a slowly rotating strobe light thing. She indicates where I should leave my clothes, and she undresses. "I give you massage", she intones. I get a pretty mundane massage for 10 minutes or so, but nevertheless, with her sitting on me, the little man is up and ready for action. We exchange some pleasantries, and on the flip, her mood improves. I get a CBJ, and then we get down to the serious stuff. But this girl does not deliver on the ad. If I try to suck her tits or fondle her vag, she giggles and squirms and effectively shakes me off. So much for the "passionate GFE". No kissing, either. I want to take my time, but she implores me to "fuck me". "Multiple positions" aren't on offer either, just missionary, which to be honest, wasn't too bad. But she wants to get it over with quickly, and to that end, rolls out her rehearsed lines. "Oh, you so big!" (I'm not. But she did have the tightest vag). "I cum! I cum!" (she clearly wasn't).

In the end, it was over pretty quickly, and she then continued her massage. By this time, she's comfortable enough to tell me a bit more. Her name is "Lu Lu", and she's been at the house for 2 weeks. I finally realise that she's probably on some sort of roster, run by the mastermind who replied to my messages, and that she basically waits at the house for callers who have booked with another person. She hadn't been expecting me. She gives me her personal phone number, presumably not the one listed in the ad, and in broken English, tells me (I think) that if anyone calls me about this booking, I'm to say that I never went, and to use her private number if I want to see her again. That's not going to happen. Another shower. Alone, again. At the end, and I'm outside in 35 minutes.

So fellow mongerers, your warnings went unheeded, to my cost. I don't think I'll be trying Locanto again any time soon.

[RnTug]

Its great to be back punting again. Recently dropped into a place in Preston 336 high street into what looks like a legit place.

Saw an older lady named Lina / Lena, nice tits and not a bad body for her age.

The house takes $50 for the massage and Lina asked for $30 for nude handjob, $40 for nude BBBJ $50 for F / S.

I opted for the nude BBBJ all up $90, about average for the area, but there are cheaper places.

May return to see what other talent they have.

[Brauninc]

Brauninc.

They rise from the ashes 7 Park has reopened Maybe the licences are too good to let go.

Goboy.

Fantastic news, location is very good still. Let's hope someone saves 466 too.

[Goboy]

Engine Driver is it wise to visit an rnt when you question others on visiting them? Your vehemently against these places and your review is evidence enough of how they have changed the landscape of the industry for good. We recently lost 2 brothels in South Melbourne, 466 city Road and 7 park st. We need 50 more brothels and 50 less rnt shops in my opinion.

Brauninc.

They rise from the ashes 7 Park has reopened Maybe the licences are too good to let go.

Goboy.

[Engine Driver]

I saw the super hot, super cute Vietnamese pocket rocket Hannah today at Eden Massage at Victoria Street, Abbotsford.

I chose the $75 for 1 hour option.

Wow, it blew me away. I've had over 1,000 massages in my mongering career, and this would easily be in the Top 10 for sure. Hannah gives it 110% and at the end of the massage I felt like I was robbing her. That's how good her service was. She's a tiny girl, but don't let that put you off. She is very nimble and flexible. She climbs on your body and kneads you expertly using her whole body. It's like she's trained as a gymnast or acrobat before. I had this type of massage in Thailand once, but most of the Asian girls in Australia are just too lazy to put in any effort.

She started on the HJ from behind even before the flip. This girl knows her way around a dick. I was about to blow within 2 minutes haha.

On the flip, she started stroking my cock while sitting in front of me, with my legs over her thighs. She asked if I wanted any extra services to make me happy. As if anyone would be able to decline at this point haha. So HJ was $30, topless HJ was $50 and nude HJ was $70. I did not ask about body slides, blow jobs or fucky fucky. Girls in this trade all have a price for whatever you want, so ask away if that's your thing.

This girl is so fucking cute I had to see her naked, so I agreed to the $70 tip. When she took her sexy dress off and stood there in her black thong, I nearly lost it. She has a magnificent set of bodacious tatas. I helped her rip off her panties and I was surprised to see a full Bush. Yes, a Bush which has never ever been trimmed before. She stroked my cock and encouraged me to suck her tits and to finger her pussy. I didn't need much encouragement.

She then cleaned me up and gave me a head and neck massage in the remaining 10 minutes.

I would rate this service a 10. A rub and tug just doesn't get any better. She was friendly, cheerful and had such a positive attitude that it restores your faith in humanity. What a contrast from those Chinese grannies at Pings.

If you want to see her, best to book ahead as she is popular. She works 6 days a week and has Mondays off. So they don't switch girls on you when you ring, Hannah is 25 years old, 5 foot tall, has Ccup tits and is smoking hot. Don't waste your money with the other girls here, especially the tall, braindead Taiwanese girl with glasses.

I'm surprised none of you fuckin mongers have given Hannah a marriage proposal yet to take her off the market hahahaha.

[Blue Bus]

From the Burke street entrance it's on the right, right at the back, same level.

[Engine Driver]

Which sh\op is Ping's?

I went to Paramount a few years ago, and visited the Thai shop on the right hand side looking towards Bourke St.

Got an older Thai MILF, massage was average, and her (bartered from $50) $30 HJ was woeful.

As you enter Paramount Centre from Bourke Street, Pings is the shop at the back on the right hand side. Pings is a rub and tug chain. Mrs Ping has three shops. The first one was on Victoria Street, Richmond. All workers are old PRC boilers. Last year she employed a chubby, but very sexy Malaysian Chinese girl at Paramount. She spoke good English and was a lot younger. She would lift up her skirt and let me play with her ample booty during a nicely executed HJ. She would only ask for a $30 tip. I can't remember her name but my report on her last year is buried somewhere here.

[AussieGaigin]

Which sh\op is Ping's?

I went to Paramount a few years ago, and visited the Thai shop on the right hand side looking towards Bourke St.

Got an older Thai MILF, massage was average, and her (bartered from $50) $30 HJ was woeful.

[LostWithinDays]

Gday all,

There is a massage shop beside Victoria market with a questionable name that seems to have mostly Japanese therapists working.

I visited recently and paid $50.00 for a great 30 minute massage.

Bodyslide no cannot.

Topless no cannot.

However $120.00 for a hand job is the price available.

As previously mentioned I'll give that a miss.

Have a great xxmas all and cheers for the many laughs we share.

Lwd.

[Blue Bus]

I've only ever been to Pings twice. The first time was novel, ie curtain walls, curtain doors. The second time was just straight out bad. Both times as I left the thinking wasn't, wow that was a good massage or wow that was a fun experience. It was just a feeling of, O well, at least it didn't cost much. You get what you pay for.

[Rich Mahogany]

Had a shocker today. I went to Paramount Center. I'm kind of surprised to say it but I had never been there before. There's seriously AMPS everywhere in there, it's unbelievable. After reading this very forum, I decided I'd try Ping's based on the $30/30 min fee. As I'm walking in the direction of Ping's, a lady who is bordering on elderly is waving me over to one of the AMPS on the other side of the center. I ignore her, walk into Ping's, pay the $30 and lie down on the table. I'm there 2 minutes and none other than that very same old lady walks in to give me a massage. Wild. I mean you generally have a sneaking suspicion that these places are all owned by the same people but to have the staff switching between two businesses located within 10 m of eachother is something else.

But this lady was a shocker. I must admit I didn't look at her much at all but I think she was even wearing an apron of some sort. Lunch Lady Doris. Must have been 65 years old. Now I'm lying there thinking 'geez am I going to sink this low and let a geriatric jerk me off?' No, I decide, definitely not. I'll just take the massage and bail. And this massage is awful. She's just rubbing her hands all across my torso at speed like it's Wack A Mole but instead of wacking you've got to cover them in oil. I want to just get up and leave but I'm covered in the stuff so I just lie there and bare it.

She flips me over and makes a handjob gesture and five fingers, I just shake my head. She holds up 3 fingers and I'm stunned by the speed at which she's happy to knock 40% off her asking price. I shake my head. She's talking in her native tongue, I got no idea. She says 'young' and walks out yelling. Another lady comes in, maybe early 40's, average looker. To be honest on any other day I would have taken a HJ from this new entrant to the room but at this point I am so over it I just say 'nah it's ok' and she bails. Old lady returns and kind of glares at me like 'shit man now I've got to rub this dude down for another 15 minutes'. She proceeds to give me the laziest rub down in history, which ends in her just rubbing the same spots on my calf muscles for what must have been 7 minutes before just walking out of the room unannounced. I put my clothes on and walk out of the room and into the reception area, mamasan glares at me too and I leave. I only lost $30 (and 30 minutes) but I will definitely think twice before trying my luck again.

[Engine Driver]

Engine Driver, you are a modern day Tantalus. Tantalus was thrown out of Olympus and after he died, he was punished for eternity; he was made to stand in a pool of water, right under the branches of a fruit tree. However, when he tried to reach for a fruit, the branches would go higher and out of reach, while when he tried to drink a sip of water, the waters of the pool would recede.

Thank you always for your words of wisdom Chocha Monger.

I thought I was more like the Roman goddess Disciplina, with her virtues of frugalitas and severitas. Hahaha. Putting that into the context of the grubby world of rub and tugs, if the quoted price for a HJ is more than $30, just walk gentlemen.

[Chocha Monger]

I said I only had $30 on me and she could take that for a HJ if she wanted to. She accepted the deal. Lousy HJ. She just started pulling my cock with no technique. To really punish me for the low tip, she stood just far away enough so I could not feel her ass. Hahaha.

Engine Driver, you are a modern day Tantalus. Tantalus was thrown out of Olympus and after he died, he was punished for eternity; he was made to stand in a pool of water, right under the branches of a fruit tree. However, when he tried to reach for a fruit, the branches would go higher and out of reach, while when he tried to drink a sip of water, the waters of the pool would recede.

[BrizLad]

She is a senator, the PM must come fom the lower house. Unless she resigns and seeks election for a lower house seat then she can't become PM.

She is also in the opposition and does not have sufficient votes to even be a consideration.