The Morality of Prostitution

[George90]

I have answered lots and lots of questions and given my opinion on many things involving sex workers. I was wondering something:

What is it that men look for in a sex worker, and what is it that she does thats makes her a good sex worker in your eyes?

I read Xaviera Hollander's book in the 70's. Judging from the wide variety of clients she had and my own mongering experience, I think you will get as many opinions as there are men.

I can say what I makes a good sex worker for me.

1) Pleasantness.

For me, she has to be a nice person to be around. Generally that means she smiles enough, she smells nice (ie. non-smoker), low key behavior and dress(ie. non-(heavy) drinker), she doesn't yell and scream at me or others, she makes me the focus of her attention (ie. the cell phone is turned OFF).


2) Good Communication.

That is mostly my responsibility since I monger in countries where most sex workers don't speak English. But given that I am making the effort, she should be clear about what she is willing to do, not willing to do, the price to be paid, the time we are going to spend together, etc. Being vague or only hinting at things is a turn-off for me.


3) Honesty.

She needs to follow through with what she agreed to. Changing her mind in mid-stream is no good. Saying that she needs to leave early is no good. ALL condition, limits, restrictions, and caveats need to be discussed up front BEFORE the deal is set.


4) Pretend to Enjoy Herself

I have been with WGs who stared at the ceiling or otherwise absented themselves mentally. I lost interest and couldn't continue performing. I have been with WGs who had unfakeable orgasms. Sex with them is a true joy! This latter group almost always showed me where and how to touch them or suggested positions in which they also were well stimulated. I have found that the impatient WGs are the most likely to lie there like lumps of coal except to ask you to hurry up. I have also found that when I talk with a WG for a while, the impatient ones leave. So my MO is to chat her up and see if her business is more the money or more good service.

This is all I have to say so far. I have not mentioned looks. That is not a mistake.

[Sasha Coffee]

I have answered lots and lots of questions and given my opinion on many things involving sex workers. I was wondering something:

What is it that men look for in a sex worker, and what is it that she does thats makes her a good sex worker in your eyes?

[Alex Rock]

Boy you've changed you views quickly!. I guess that's what happened to me too after an emotional shock. I had prejudices against wg until I fell in love with one and got to know several as friends.

[Alex Rock]

You go with working girls so why did you not trust your girlfriend when she told you she was an escort. You do the same as she does. I think you are hipocrit because you go with lots of girls but you dont accept it when you find your girlfriend did the same thing.

You say it is because she did not tell you, but I think you didnt tell her or your new girlfriend you go with lots of girls the same. Its not fair.

I think you and your girlfriend are the same, she didnt tell you and you didnt tell her. Now you can be honest with each other so why not try to go back to her?

My ex girlfriend said exactly the same thing and it's right. I can't explain my hypocrisy except to say I loved her and the discovery of deception and intense jealousy left me with scars and associations which come back.

I also felt uneasy if we'd go out and some guy would stare at her or look twice as though he recognised her, then they'd both act like they were pretending not to know each other. I felt there was some deception going on.

With the wg I am now close to, I don't feel that way at all. If we go out and she happens to bump into a client or guy she has arranged girls for, she'll tell me openly. It makes me feel she's open and honest. Maybe that's the difference!. It's how I feel, not how I try to explain it.

When my gf opened eventually told me what she did, I was obsessed with how she felt having sex with clients. I wanted to believe it was different with me compared to clients. She always said it was, and you've said the same. Her unwillingness to talk openly about sex with clients bugged me. The wg I now spend time with is open like a book. It's like she'll tell me anything I ask without hesitation which makes me trust her.

[Yonman]

A lot of the sex workers catching diseases are likely catching them on their own free time. In general people have a much lower risk of catching diseases in a 'professional' encounter then if they're in a bar getting it for free from some drunk girl or if they have an unfaithful/promiscuous partner. On the other hand there are certain practices that seem to be pretty popular now that pose a real disease hazard according to the studies I've read.

Personally I don't think sex workers are any worse or any better then any other women. They're pretty much the same whether that's a good thing or bad thing. The main difference is if the sex worker is disagreeable or doesn't like the client he doesn't have to be around her any longer then he needs to be and he's getting what he wants/needs.

[Sasha Coffee]

Welcome back.

Love the new thought process.

You have my respect and admiration for your strength, intelligence and ability to adjust to situation.

Be proud and walk tall.

[Sasha Coffee]

There have been many hookers that have participated in the history of the world.

Christine Keeler and Mandy Rice Davies if you don't know who they are google their name and learn some recent English history.

Pamela Davies, a previous Miss India who worked as a hooker, her room was close to the English parliament and had a bell in it so the policticians could jump off her and race back to work,

Heidi Fleis, somehow I think she doing ok, she was making money out of superstars that the average girl would shag for free.

Xavier Hollander shes made millions from her book on her years as a WG.

And Billy I hope you don't watch porn cause they are all WGs as well, and I know for a fact that they must be checked for all diseases before any filming can commence.

I could carry naming on world famous WGs but I think you get my drift.

[China Lily]

Trust seems to be difficult or impossible to recover once it's been lost. China Lily asked me why I couldn't go back with my previous wg girlfriend after I found out what she did and after she'd opened up to me. It's simple the trust had been broken and memories of the pain would sudenly spring back.

That's why I trust the wg gf I now spend considerable time with. She's so transparent, honest and accepting of all the things women don't seem to like about guys. She's great fun to be with. She doesn't blink if I date other girls but for some reason she says she feels bad if I tell her I kissed someone on the lips!!

You go with working girls so why did you not trust your girlfriend when she told you she was an escort. You do the same as she does. I think you are hipocrit because you go with lots of girls but you dont accept it when you find your girlfriend did the same thing.

You say it is because she did not tell you, but I think you didnt tell her or your new girlfriend you go with lots of girls the same. Its not fair.

I think you and your girlfriend are the same, she didnt tell you and you didnt tell her. Now you can be honest with each other so why not try to go back to her?

[China Lily]

You dont know sex worker girls. We know how to be safer than girls who do not do this work. You will get disease easier from girls who kiss you in a bar or who let you sex with them without condom but not from professional girls.

Some customers think that they can buy a girl and just because he pays her for one time she should go with him whenever he wants. I know many customers look down on escort girls, but we do not beg them to marry us. I look down on some of those customers they think a little bit of money makes them a king and we should do anything they want. Nice customers treat me with respect and polite.

Where do you think girls get disease from - you should see some customer who dont wash or clean their mouth.

Get to know some sex worker girls before you write stupid ideas

[Victoria007]

I've come to the conclusion that all men, at sometime or other want sex with a variety of women, and very few men can stay faithful to their wives. I'd much rather have my husband fuck an escort or a working girl than develop a relationship with someone at work or from our local pub. What happened in Ipswich was very sad. The good thing is that the police decided not to threaten anyone who came forward and made reports of what they'd seen or heard and that the massage parlours opened their doors to street walkers.

Believe me. I once thought working girls were evil and the men that went to them were dirty depraived assholes.

Now I've totally changed my views. Working girls give men what they need and in a non committed relationship that doesn't threaten their marriages and stable relationships. We should not think of working girls as any different from hairdressers or manicurists who provide services to men. If we brush them all with the same brush we should brush all men with the same brush too.

The men that use working girls services are normal - they come from all walks of life; many are happily married me looking for a thrill or a release. The girls also come from all walks of life. Some are normal girls with normal loves, others are well educated girls who have made educated choices, others need the money desperately to support their kids. They are women just like me - it's just that I've not chosen to sell sex to strangers.

Go easy on working girls. They are cleaner than many girls you'd pick up in a pub, and they need support and friendships just like we all do.

[Sasha Coffee]

Not all working girls are junkies or have Hep C.

Before you decide to put everyone in your tiny pigeon holes do some research.

Saying all working girls are junkies is ridiculous thats like saying all Americans are war mongers or English people like B&D. its just pathetic.

Obviously your intelligence level is sorely lacking and your experience of the sex industry is very limited, and thats before I comment on your grammer or spelling.

[Billy Ibrox]

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_ne...978487,00.html

The Independent is almost as big a rag as the Observer. Have a read ae the above article and see the amounts who have hepatitis C. See also the amount ae junkies in the UK? Fae fuck's sake. All the women on the game are junkies so most ae them have Hep C and probably even more.

The two lads lifed over these stififngs seem to be total nutters. Wright was a steward on the QE2 fae fucks sake. The other git was a supermarket storehand.
Nutters kill hookers and hoboes because there is a better chance ae nae getting caught. What we need is a place to fuck hookers with nae smack and nae nutters. Tyhe Philippines seems the best place fae LBFMs and a cum drenched Christmas.

[Bango Cheito]

I agree with most of what she said, but the key point she misses is that most of the bad effects of prostitution are due to its very illegality. And if people don't except prostitutes for who and what they are that is the fault OF THE PEOPLE!

[Clandestine782]

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: Where are the men in this horrific story?
It isn't just the killer who is invisible. So are the guys in cars who regard women as sex aids
Published: 18 December 2006
I was on the 207 bus on Thursday, sitting next to a fat man with a hairy face and cracked lips with The Sun in his hand. Turning the pages, he muttered: "Just effing tarts on the game." Then his eyes rested happily on the breasts of the naked Page 3 model, a treat his paper offers him daily. I said nothing, but seethed. He looked like a chap who would need to buy sex, even in these times when it is offered up for free by young women game for casual sex.

This momentary encounter clarified for me why I have felt so uneasy about the coverage of the murders of the five Ipswich prostitutes. Where are the men in this shocking story? It isn't just the killer who is invisible; so are the male pimps and the customers, the guys concealed in their cars who regard women as sex aids they buy to use as they wish. As with drug addiction, suppliers are the focus of public and police attention, not the consumers, without whom there would be no trade and destruction.

I have never understood why the purchasers of loveless sex should expect and are granted automatic anonymity while prostitutes have their lives completely uncovered and exposed when there is a crime committed against them. They, too, have mums and dads, siblings and children, who will then have to deal with the fallout of such an onslaught on their privacy.

With a gruesome murder, some publicity is essential when evidence is being gathered. The public needs to know facts essential to the cases. Last week, all parents became more aware how drugs can inject themselves into any household, leading young addicts then to sell their bodies for cash to pay for the next fix.

However, nothing explains or vindicates the way entire families of the victims are dragged into the story - as they have been for the past few days - when they have so much to deal with, including loss and guilt that their daughters were caught up in what is, and always has been, a perilous occupation. "How do you feel?", they ask a bewildered father, who hasn't seen his dead daughter since she was a little girl. What do they expect him to say that we can't imagine he will? This is emotional porn.

The appearance in the media over so many days of photographs of the murdered young women feels like an overstimulation. There are many out there excited and titillated by the story, which is both a movie thriller and a Victorian melodrama with footsteps of other real life slashers and stranglers. When Dennis Nielsenkilled his male victims, I didn't feel there was anything creepy about the coverage. Public horror was not smeared in drool. These women are dissed in death as they were in life.

To call the women "working girls" is to deny the range of risks a prostitute takes the minute she steps into a place alone with a stranger or a known punter. There are superconfident prostitutes who say they are doing a job they like and which pays well. They are a minority. All across the world, this profession demeans and endangers women and young girls. Trafficked women - big business now - have no protection at all. Few females are physically stronger than males; few of the men who use prostitutes feel genuine affection or respect for the women they paw and enter. Some users can become attached to particular providers and are thereby the weaker partners in the arrangement, but that is neither respect nor affection.

Pretty Woman is only a fantasy, and the film's undying popularity a sign of how we kid ourselves about the malign effects of prostitution. Squillionaire gentleman do not embrace prostitutes in daylight nor take them as lifelong, trusted partners. The rich have always wanted and arranged to have skilful, beautiful concubines, but with the understanding that no cultural sophistication, loyalty, sexual magnetism or intellect can ever make women who charge for their services worthy of love or commitment.

The *****s exist to keep the good women pure, that, too, is a running male hypocrisy. I have met a number of Muslim men in our northern towns who pray devotedly, hang tasbis (rosaries) on their car windows and pimp for a living. When I ask them how they can do the two they usually explain the trading girls are "bad" and their own women belong to Allah.

Pakeezah is an extraordinary old Hindi movie - an exposé of such wretched prejudices and double standards. A squire falls genuinely in love with a beautiful courtesan who lives in an enclave of sensual opulence but removed from the "decent" folk. She agrees to marry him, but only if he publicly performs all the rituals expected when a young virgin weds. That is her condition, her test, to be given the badge of honour in an uncaring society. The women who were snuffed out by the killer in Suffolk deserve and have been denied that honour and respect.

y.alibhai-brown@ independent.co.uk

[Cunning 1]

Sasha,

I love your comments:

"Sexually do I believe that men can be faithful, no I don't. Do I believe woman can be faithful, no not that either"

and the way it differentiates between a human need (and one of my favourites) and :

"I don't think fidelity is important in a relationship I think commitment, honesty and common goals are"

That is the way my life has developed and I am sure a lot of people would consider it hypocritical, but why would partners want to lose a loving committed relationship because one partner had a quick night with a WG?

When we're old and grey it will matter not. You can take all those memories to your grave and hope that at the Pearly Gates the gatekeeper has been a monger during his or her life.

C1