Sexual Addiction

[Steve28]

Hey got time the most I give you and civ2000 is about a month then back to the normal routine. I tried it once and after a month with money in my pocket I just took all the save money and went on an all night fucking fest.

Point is, it’s like a drug. You just can’t stop!

[Travis Bickle 2]

Got Time, I just use you as an example because you remind me so much of myself. Congrats on having two weeks. I've got three weeks today myself and am trying to take a break from it also. I actually haven't had to make a cash machine withdrawl in two weeks. Everytime I open my wallet it's like "wow" I still have money left.

Good Luck!

Civ2000

[Cujo60]

Well now that you put it that way, I must confess that I do not have an addiction then. Sorry. Thanks for the break down of info.

[Got Time]

CIV2000: Well I posted that message back in July, I got busted in early June. Thanks for making me sound even more pathetic than I thought I was! Just kidding! If you've been reading my posts in the Los Angeles Section then you will learn that I've calmed down alot lately, mainly because of shitty selection (not into the BSW's so Figueroa is out) and I've been checking my priorities. I had to take the HIV test for the court and was negative, thats good news for everyone in LA. I later recieved a notice in the mail from the city that i was eligible for other medical services at low costs or free if I qualified. I qualified. I started seeing a counselor the first week of August and things have gotten better in my life. I got a new, better job, bought a new car (with dad's help), and started school again. I had gone from 4 times a week to 2 , then once, and now I havent been with a SW in 2 weeks.

The urge is still there, and its strong, but I have to learn to control it. I stay up at night wanting to go out on a drive to my spots but have to resist. Even when I'm in class I ponder "Should I go pick a girl after class?". It's hard , its like trying to stop smoking. I find myself reaching into my pocket and pulling out a $20 bill or two where a couple months ago it wouldn't have been there, so that helps. I KNOW I'm NOT through with SW's but for now I'm taking a break. But believe me it's not easy.

[Travis Bickle 2]

Cujo, Once again you like many others confuse a high libido and sexual addiction. They are not even close. It is normal for a guy to want to bang as many chicks as possible. It is an urge which starts around 12 years of age (give or take) and lasts most of our lives.

Addiction on the other hand is having sex despite it's having lost it's fun. Read Got Time's post. He is broke, has to eat at work, is in serious legal trouble, has lost his driver's license -- all because he can't stop picking up hookers.

Addicts cruise even in the midst of a herpes outbreak, have bill collectors calling the house, have lost wifes and jobs, friends and family, been arrested, are broke, and yet continue to pick up prostitutes everyday.

This is not the healthy, high sexual desire most men have. It is self destructive. If wanting sex all the time is not causing you major life problems then it's not an addiction. Period.

[Cujo60]

Sorry to add my two cents in but I do not believe that sex is an addiction, if it is than I am an addict. I have two girlfriends, steady, for the past few years. I also like to go out and find girls. Shoot this November I will be going out of the country to hopefully have a few orgies. I think we are just being human and enjoy experiencing the new. Just some of us are able to cover it up better than others, and some are able to supress the urges better. Like my sister she is 20 and has been with this guy for 5 years. She has never cheated on him, though she has fantisized it many times and has even considered it. She just has a stronger will than myself. It is just that some people are more sexual than others.

Cujo

[Johnny Sax]

I think I do have a sexual addiction because:

I am married, I love my wife very much, and yet I still engage in risky behavior with prostitutes. But if I had my choice, I'd rather say "no" to urges to have sex with prostitutes, and possibly get a disease - or worse, give my wife one, and very likely ruin our marriage - which is the best thing that I've ever had in my life...

Yet when I am away from my wife, alone, and I can easily and affordably get a HOT sexy babe to fool around a bit, and have sex with me, I just cannot say no. I suppose I COULD say no, but something inside me (my "little brain"?) makes me feel the need to do it in spite of the dangers, in spite of the risk of getting a disease and passing it to my wife, and in spite of the moral obligation to say no.

I do use a condom, but as I said before, sometimes, if the girl is very clean and if she's very very sexy, I do feel the need to lick her pussy, which is very risky behavior. Yet, despite my telling myself not to, I sometimes get caught up in the heat of the moment, and I say, "Oh what the hell!" and I do it anyway, in spite of the risks.

So this is surely a kind of addiction, and if there were a pill I could take that would allow me to still have sex with my wife yet not want other women, I would take it!

But there is not, and when I can get alone in a place where I can have sex with a beautiful sexy girl (usually a prostitute) I just feel I "have to" have sex; and then when I'm having sex, sometimes I feel I "have to" eat her pussy. I am pretty good at always using a condom for the sex, at least; but as for the oral indulgence, I can't seem to hold back sometimes. I know, too, that the idea of eating a prostitute seems ridiculously risky and even gross to some men. But to me, if she's clean, hasn't had anyone cum inside her without a condom, then I am not bothered by the fact that she's a pro, and I want to eat her if it looks and smells good down there. Giving oral sex is just something I really enjoy. And I have friends who do the same thing with pros!

So I don't know why I"m writing these "confessions". I guess it just feels good to tell someone, and to know there are others who also find themselves in situations where they "can't help it" and participate in risky behavior.

I do agree with you, RN, that many women also cheat on their boyfriends and husbands, and you are right that it is not an instinct just of the male of the human species to "cheat" on their mate. However, I think if you were to do a major poll on the subject you would find that the MAJORITY of men have some sex outside their marriage, while the MAJORITY of women do NOT have sex with men outside of their marriage. I think, though, that this is more of a cultural and societal conditioning than a genetic thing. I think part of this, though, is that the majority of women are not as horny as the majority of men. Men tend to get very worked up over seeing women in short skirts for example, or with cleavage showing, and then they just feel a very strong urge to have sex. I think it's less of an urge for MOST women. I think for men it is instinctual to be attracted to tits and ass, moreso than it is for women to be attracted to a man's body. I think you, RN, are an exception, and there are lots of exceptions like you. But if we are talking about the MAJORITY, I still say men have more of an instinctual urge to have sex outside of marriage, than women do.

But I think if more women were like RN, the world would be a better place! People SHOULD have more sex, and with less games; just sex for sex's sake - even in marriage - such as in open relationships... In fact, I would be open to an open relationship of sorts... But my wife is WAY too conservative! She'd freak out at even the suggestion of thinking about it! I know - I've subtley explored the territory with her...

I admit it would be tough to see her having sex with someone else, or knowing she was doing so. But I think I could deal with it if we agreed to help each other pick our partners, and we kind of did it as a "couple" activity. But to know she was going out with someone else who I didn't even know - that would be tough. On the other hand, if she was going to a prostitute it wouldn't bother me nearly as much as if she was going with a "lover".

Im all over the place on this post, just kind of free-associating on the subject of sex outside of marriage... All I know is, I LOVE having sex with a variety of women! To me, it is one of the most exciting and fun things in life! If it weren't SO DAMNED GOOD, I could probably control it. But it's TOO good to give up!

AND I love my wife, very much, and hope never to have her find out I cheat on her with pros!
(By the way, in my view, having sex with a pro is much less "cheating" than if I were having an "affair" with someone, like at work; because I do not form "relationships" with the pros, I only eff them, maybe have some conversation, maybe some dancing and kissing and hugging if they will; but it's not like I have any emotions invested in them - it's just a purely physical "for fun" thing, as opposed to an affair or "relationship".)

[Rubber Nursey]

I think Cuba Music has made a very important point. Whether or not we see our obsession with sex as a 'problem' or not, probably has a lot to do with our attitudes to sex in general. For example a woman who was brought up to believe that she should only have sex with one man - her husband - may feel like a s*ut or a nympho because she wants to have sex with lots of men.

Problem is, as an ex-hooker I'd say I have a pretty darn broad mind when it comes to sleeping around - so maybe my slight obsession with sex is actually a major dysfunction and I just can't see it! LOL

(PS. Your English was fantastic, Cuba Music. I'm trying to learn a second language myself at the moment, and if I ever become as fluent in Gaelic as you are in English, I'll be happy).

[HarryR]

I cannot agree with PsyberZombie that "Your 'OBSESSION' with Sex will diminish as you age" because as I age, I want it more often. I do need help sometimes with V but I would have a different woman every night (and photgraph the action) if I could afford it. I sometime manage it three times a week, like last week.

I am the total opposite of my father. He has been married for 63 years and has never had sex with another woman even though he was overseas in WW11 for almost 3 years. I want it all the time & my whole life revolves around it. I am single by choice now but when I was married, for some strange reason I remained faithful but it didn't stop me thinking about it.

For me it is an adiction and obsession but I love it.

[Cuba Music]

funny, all those toughts about sex addiction. i always kept in mind that we are programmed to get horny when we see beautifull women.

yes, i fuck a lot of girls and i'm married. yes.. i feel sometimes guilty about it. yes i'm scared that i give my wife a disease. but a definite no. that i feel that i'm a crazy sex-addict. i think that is a feeling that is part of my man-hood. i think it's normal that you feel that you must fuck some of those beautifull woman that are teasing you every day. that's what you're made for. so sometimes i act on that (o well. i mostly pay for it, much easier )

well, back to the "programmed to" part:

i think our body reacts strongly to woman (for most men). thats in our system. (leaving the "why" question). the big question is: what are we going to do with this feeling? unfortunualy we (most of us do) live in in highly civilised world. where we have rules, laws, religions, "do and dont's", agreements, peergroup-pressure, taboes etc etc. all those things run into to are heads before we act. then we deside what to do. do you make your own rules our do you live by them? i think i do both, but when i have the money and the opportunity i fuck the girl i want. is that making me a sex-addict? i think that will be your perception of the "do and dont's".

(sorry for the bad englisch.)

the man who loves cuban music

editor's note: posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to remove the multiple periods throughout the text. to avoid delays in future reports, please consider using a comma to separate the phrases in your sentences and a single period at the end of each sentence. thanks!

[Andrew04]

I've got some interesting points to bring to this topic. I believe I have had bouts with sexual addiction as well, but not really until the internet arrived.

I haven't had any relationships or even dated now for almost ten years. I'm just not seeing much out there, and when I do, the person I want isn't available. A few years ago I had no problems going to the saunas, massage and hookups and getting off. But not today. The only way I have been able to get off is joining internet sites, looking at pics and doing live chats. I can't even have sex with a real person anymore. I'm not sure what this is about. It's not getting as out of control as It's been - it seems like I join a new site and am really into it for a few weeks, but then I've seen all the pictures and read all the stories and it's more or less "out of my system" for a few months. Then the cravings come back, I do a new search and join a new site (sometimes with the same damn pictures as the other one!). I had no problems getting off on chatting with someone online until it just became too much work. In the beginning of all this my intent was to meet someone special, then it turned into cybersex, and now it's purely getting me off.

I guess I have been feeling that, a real relationship just isn't going to happen for me, but now it's gotten to - being unable to have sex with a real person either. I do know that it's much safer this way - having sex anonymously I never felt good about, but I am not sure when this borders on unhealthy. I'm not up all night, I'm not spending all my money, and I'm not suffering at school or work.

[Travis Bickle 2]

RN, You may not be the Queen of friggin England but you are the Queen of WSG. IMHO, of course. Thanks for your answer. Civ2000

[Rubber Nursey]

"If I deem it worthy" Civ2000?? Who am I...the Queen of friggin' England?? lol I'm always happy to answer questions. That's why I'm here Hmmmm this is a hard one though and to tell the truth, I'm not really sure where I stand.

I'm one of these people with an 'addictive personality' as they say. I can become 'addicted' to things very quickly, and it could be anything from cigarettes to chocolate biscuits. If I enjoy something, I want to do it again and then the more I do it, the more I want it, blah blah blah. I am hopelessly addicted to cigarettes and caffeine - to the point where I have physical symptoms like the shakes and cramps and headaches if I don't get them. I guess I would deem them my only 'true' addictions, because I no longer use these things by CHOICE. I am compelled to smoke even though I have been treated for cancer and have circulatory problems and I desperately...honestly...DO NOT want to be a smoker any more. I can't afford the price of cigarettes and I can't afford the health risks, and yet I do it anyway.

I have met clients that are the same way with sex workers. These men will spend thousands of dollars a month seeing you twice or more a week, and then tell you that they are about to lose their house because they can't pay the mortgage. Some guys go to brothels on their wife's birthday, others drop their wives off at the shops and then run in for a quickie while she's trying on shoes. The length some guys will go to can be pretty extreme. These guys seem to have lost the power of CHOICE as well - they are compelled to feed their addiction even though its impacting negatively on their lives.

To me, that's probably the definition of true addiction - when the addiction takes top priority in your life and you no longer have a choice in the matter.

This is only my opinion, but I would say that only a very small percentage of 'sex addicts' would actually have a true addiction. In my own case, as far as sex goes, I would say I just have no willpower. For example, if I was at a party and someone I was attracted to came onto me and asked me for sex, I would probably head towards the bedroom. But if my husband suddenly walked into the room, I wouldn't go ahead with it. I would regret losing out on the chance - I may even get the other persons number for a later date! - but I would still CHOOSE not to fool around while my husband was there. However, if someone offered to pay for all my food and drinks for the rest of the night, on the condition that I didn't have a single cigarette during that time, I can almost guarantee that I'd end up lighting up within the hour, regardless.

To me, sex with someone new is fun and exciting and dangerous and a totally natural urge. Sometimes when I indulge, I betray someone. Sometimes I put myself in dangerous situations or engage in risky practices. But I wouldn't say I was an addict, because ultimately I COULD have said stop if I'd really wanted to. I just tend to get caught up in the moment. And besides, life is short - why would I choose to say no??

[Travis Bickle 2]

RN, What is your take on this whole sexual addiction issue?

Just as casinos can easily spot and know who the problem gamblers are e. g., the ones spending all their money and getting desperate, I assume that you as a former sex worker could spot guys whose mongering was getting out of hand and was affecting their lives and finances.

Do you believe that sex is addictive as some of us say or are you in the camp that believes as a natural function and an instinctual behavior that it can't possibly be addictive as other's have said?

Anyway I've read a bunch of your posts and always enjoy and respect your opinion on issues and would appreciate your opinion on this.

Thanks,

Civ2000

[Daddy Lows]

RN,

That last sentence sounds like an invite!
BTW, you did mention in a PM that I looked kind of cute in my poses with this BSW. Heh heh.

Even though I KNOW that is not a good enough reason to eat her, and I should never eat the pussy of a hooker, or anyone else for that matter. But I am just a guy who loves eating hot young girls' pussies!

Johnny Sax,



Peace