FKK Bernd's - Schieferhof

[Breadman]

Costs for the day: Breakfast 3€, Round trip train fare 118€, Taxi cab fare, to / from Hennef-Seig 15 + 18€, Entrance to Hof 70€, terrific session with Magda 50€, Pizza 4€, beer at strip club on way to hotel, (again) 5€ = 283€. Time in club: over 7 hours.

So two taxi's totaling 33 euro's and the 118 euro train ticket....151 euro's is close to a weekly car rental rate. If you don't or can't rent a car that explains why you have to use public transportation. But to travel that far, stay in a club for 7 hours and only do one pop...in my mind, 150 euro's can be better spent in a frankfurt club or the rld. You'd be amazed how much time a girl will spend with you at Oase or World if you do repeat's with them on the same day, especially on a slow tuesday.

[Myrmidon]

The Canadian Bacon and Maple Syrup Tour - What does it mean? When I decided to session with a lady, I usually offered her some Canadian 'Maple Syrup'. Most accepted the offer.

Overview:
********
This report is further to my previous reports on Palace http://www.InternationalSexGuide.nl/forum/showthread.php?p=1074748 and Oase http://www.InternationalSexGuide.nl/forum/showthread.php?p=1075096.

Tuesday I went to the big DB office in the Hauptbahnhof and bought my tickets to Bernd's in Lichtenberg. Of note, with my selection of times, I got a cheaper, simpler route than last May. Formerly I had paid 125€ and gone from FRA to Seigburg-Bonn on ICE train then S-Bahn to Hennef-Seig. I had returned on an ICE train from Koln. This time I skipped Koln and returned again from Seigburg-Bonn for 118€. I had printed train timetables before I left home so I knew I could take earlier S-Bahn's back to S-B, but I had to catch that one ICE back: it was the last till 4 A.M.

My ICE train to this Mecca for pooners was supposed to depart FRA at 10:10. But I found myself sitting amongst a group of German tourists who were about to depart on a vacation in my Homeland. We had a nice chat and they were able to explain that the train was delayed, eventually 30 minutes due to faulty batteries. This meant I would miss my scheduled connection S-Bahn to Hennef-Seig, but there were lots of them available and I would still arrive at the Hof early. I had planned to spend a bit of time in Hennef-Seig but I could cut that back or do some on the way home. In any event I finally arrived in Seigberg-Bonn and after a brief look around I grabbed a taxi to Reuters Hotel in Lichtenberg, arriving at 12:30 for a cost of 13€, tipped to 18€.

The senior operator of the hotel was on the roof fixing his gutters and he thought I wanted a room. He got his wife and then the cook who spoke some English and I explained that I was on my way to Bernd's but was just stopping here as I was early. All was ok, and I left to tour the village again before getting to the club

Bernd's Sauna Club 22-09-10 13:00 - 20:20
***********************************
I arrived at the club at about 12:45 and the door was open, with 1 car waiting in the parking lot. An unknown lady explained that the club was not open till 13:00 which I acknowledged and told her I only wanted to wait there. She agreed. Subsequently prior to 13:00 the lady and another on departed the club. Finally opening time arrived and we went in. This time I got a locker on the left side of the hall, with the entrance to the garden, away from the hot showers. Now and through out my stay there was a steady stream of men, far more than on my last visit in May. The garden was a refreshing alternative to the upstairs lounge or downstairs bar, but few ladies used it.

Commenting on the girls I observed during the day:

Leonie and Katja were notably absent.

Moira / Mara, a pale pretty girl with a notable bush was there but she was quite busy all of my stay and I did not get a chance to speak with her.

The only one more busy than Moria / Mara was Iris of Tunisia. The only time I actually saw her was over lunch with Moira. She was quite attractive, but too busy to be seen by me.

A comment on the Lunch: I had not tried the food last visit, but I corrected that oversight this trip. I found it to be alright, just a little limited. But then I was not there for the food.

I also met Sarah from Croatia and Anna. And what trip would be complete without Babsi, who seemed to remember me from May?

In the end it was Magda that I sessioned with. It had been between her and Anna or perhaps Babsi, but in the end Magda won my favour. Interestingly, she did not wish to do CIM and she reported that she was having trouble with her sore knee. She was seen limping later until she changed to more suitable shoes. Despite these setbacks, Magda proved a terrific kisser and BBBJ administrator. Because I had approached her at the bar, (the only shot I had at her), we moved to the sofa behind the glass in the open room for our mandatory public BBBJ. I lasted as long as I could until we adjourned to the spa room, as the others were occupied. BBBJ, 69, Cowgirl and Doggy all ensued with enthusiasim. It was a wonderful session.

Observation: These girls are good, while in the initial kissing position, across the man's lap and facing him, they can take their opposite hand and reach behind their back and start stroking the man while still kissing.

So having seen Magda, and with no chance apparent for Anna, Moira / Mara I decided to leave a little early at 20:20. First I waited outside for my taxi but as it took a while I waited inside. Guess who let me back in: Moira/ Mara! While waiting at the front desk I dared to place a foot in the bar area to better see the camera monitor out front. For my trouble I was quickly scolded that this was a FKK!

Taxi arrived and cost 15€ to Hennef-Seig. Caught an early S12 to Seigberg-Bonn and had a great, hand made small Funghi (Mushroom) pizza for 4€.

This was the last time I would poon alone. Starting tomorrow I would meet up with my friend from my first adventure and we would go to Oase for Dessous Tag!

Costs for the day: Breakfast 3€, Round trip train fare 118€, Taxi cab fare, to / from Hennef-Seig 15 + 18€, Entrance to Hof 70€, terrific session with Magda 50€, Pizza 4€, beer at strip club on way to hotel, (again) 5€ = 283€. Time in club: over 7 hours.

Thus far the trip had been rather tame: 1 or 2 sessions per day, way down from my last trip. That was about to change.

Ciao!
The Chrome Cowboy.

[Gfe Finder]

Not really a report about the Hof, but most of us probably know Jamilla from here and Parksauna Residenz doesn't have a thread forum for itself. Anyhoo..
Jamilla is now back at PSR and is no longer at YinYang. She's been bouncing between various clubs since leaving Bernd's so she could be gone today but she was there yesterday. According to Google Maps, the Hof and PSR are 28.8 km apart and driving time should be 26 minutes so both clubs in one day should be easy as long as you have a car.

http://www.parksauna-residenz.de/

Yes, I can confirm the sighting and approximate drive time. I saw Jamila there yesterday with my own eyes, after another great 3-day adventure at the Hof. (Reports to come!)

[Fats]

Not really a report about the Hof, but most of us probably know Jamilla from here and Parksauna Residenz doesn't have a thread forum for itself. Anyhoo..
Jamilla is now back at PSR and is no longer at YinYang. She's been bouncing between various clubs since leaving Bernd's so she could be gone today but she was there yesterday. According to Google Maps, the Hof and PSR are 28.8 km apart and driving time should be 26 minutes so both clubs in one day should be easy as long as you have a car.

http://www.parksauna-residenz.de/

[Iseeu]

So, I surmise nobody is getting laid at present at Bernds, and taking up geography instead.

I am into topography myself.....the distant breasts on the horizon, the escarpment of thighs, between which nestles the mound of Zanadu and all its pleasures......

I was there last week. The breasts were visible in the near horizon, I struggled, but managed to scale a few thigh escarpments, and my wet tongue and hot member comfortably nestled in some mounds of Xanadu. Sounds like a passage from a bad Harlequin romance...

Nothing of note to report. The monthly inspection went well, with the usual complement of providers on hand and a few new additions. I'm working on a report from the August Hof inspection in which I was joined by 2 senior members and an ISG lurker, RomeMustDie (love the moniker), who has already posted his own missive. Time permitting, I hope to finish it this week.

[Marlow]

So, I surmise nobody is getting laid at present at Bernds, and taking up geography instead.

I am into topography myself.....the distant breasts on the horizon, the escarpment of thighs, between which nestles the mound of Zanadu and all its pleasures......

[Italian Buz]

Following from my previous report of LR, this report still can keep a time line because after having visited LR my day 1, I was in Bernds my days 2 and 3 of the holiday.

Having in front of me other 11 days of fucking maybe it was not the best idea to immediately start with the most demanding and performing club but one of my fellows wanted to visit it the next day and o took the occasion to share the trip but most of all to have a good and enjoyable company for the day, so thanks to my friend!

We arrive punctual at 1pm for the opening in Hennef, Schieferhof Strasse 28.

Magda opens me and I am already feeling very happy! She recognizes me, remembers my name and I enjoy immediately the warm atmosphere of the place compared with the dizzy German day outside!

We take our time and I lazily chat with my friend and when he starts getting down to business I grab for myself Magda and we talk for a while as well as we have some lunch together (the food in Bernds is always the same in kind and quality, even if the day there was some reasonably good Kaesesahnetorte as a dessert).

Then she goes to one of her regulars and I am left alone downstairs (the day was slow and with not so many guests present at any moment of the day) with Anna.

Who am I to refuse a chat to that nice girl, to kiss her and getting a start of BBBJ?

So after short we are in the room where the supremacy of the service providers at Bernds gets evident. The session with Anna is simply one to remember, just comparable to the one of my very few favorites around in the clubs.

When I am finished I meet again my friend and we had some dinner. The evening comes and we decide to stay in Bernds till the end instead to move to LR because we did not see any need for a change.

I get some work done and my friend has his second session. Afterward I get again grabbed by Magda who accepts that I cheated her just because I went with her friend Anna and then I am obliged to commit myself to her for my second Polish session of the day

Ok with Magda for me everything runs perfectly in the Zimmer, she know what I like I know what she like and we always get along very well. This time she decided (nice from her) that she wanted to be fucked so after a great BBBJ I accomplished to her request till when I just came after a torrid session. Ok I had again the feeling of being done for the day also because I still was feeling the tiring effects of the very long trip of the day before and of the fact that the last night I just slept a few hours!

I wait for my friend to finish his third session and after some recovering time we move back home to the north were we stop over to a Mc for having a late bite and coffee.

I left from Bernds with the promise to the incredulous Magda that the day after I had come back

And so it was, the Day 3 of my trip was again (even if this time alone) in Bernds where I started the debauchery of which I felt the very hard consequences in the last 3/4 days of my trip!

At 1pm I am punctual there and this time I am welcomed by Claudia and accompanied to my locker.

The day starts with Magda seeing me and telling me not to dare to go with anyone else for my first of the day. She wanted it for herself!

So ok, after a couple of hours and after I helped me with some food and a lot of coffee to try to wake up my friend and myself I was ready and there I go. She devastated me as usual and I came out of the room feeling like drained of all my energies. And it was only 4pm of Friday (closing time 1am, lot of people attending the place and a party downstairs being prepared with the help of some regulars.).

I get chatting with some of the regulars already known or introduced to me by Magda and around 7pm downstairs in the club the Polish team (Magda and Anna) + the regular clients + Alina + myself start a very loud party based most of all on a constant flow of alcohol.

Claudia come down at a certain point and with Jenny claims for her share of the party and at the end I give her a nod and we retire to a room. I must say it was also a very good performance, likely not at the high skilled level of Anna but Claudia really did her best to match the highest standards of the profession anyway!

At that point it was like 9, 30pm and I was feeling like a train passed over me so I rejoined the company at the bar downstairs and took part to the conversation that reached the peak of the alcoholism quite soon

11pm (I was almost not drinking because I had to drive 90km back to Kaarst) I had the thought that maybe I still had some energies left and when Erika came down claiming that she needed a man I introduced myself telling her that she had to make a man out of me of the few that remained at the end of the day!

And ok, that was it, it was not a long Zimmer – actually quite short – but I was still able to a last pop thanks to the very good oral skills of Erika that I really enjoyed!

And that was the end of the day, at 00, 30am I was leaving the place and very tired I simply kept myself hardly awake till I arrived back to my hotel. I was like a zombie at that time and just collapsed in the bed. But thanks as always to Bernds!

My consideration of the place is always the same, if you are the kind looking for skinny teenagers do not get there but if you are looking for a friendly and accommodating atmosphere and the best and most solid services on the market without failure that's the place!

As usual, who does not speak German is a bit cut of from the conversation but in any case I never see really bored faces in Bernds.

ITB

[Rob Raunch]

Just appeared on Twitter! pictures from THE Hof. in Lichtenberg (near Bonn)

Unser italienischer Tag war SUPER! La Dolce Vita e Belle Donne! Fotos auf unsere Webseite: http://www.fkk-schieferhof.de/hofgalerie.html

10. september Bernds Airways Stewardessen-Tag.. unsere sexy Flugbegleiterinnen fliegen mit dir im siebten Himmel! http://bit.ly/9Ha23v

Nice pictures (also showing their house) so everyone knows what to expect.

I will be there on Foxy-Flight-Attendants-Day next week, want to see Leoni attend to my Pilot-needs! (Ahemm!)

Any other ISG-members going?

CU, Rob

[Excess]

Exactly Angus.... pithy and to the point.

Every club visit IS a learning experience.

E.

I will be brief, for once.

Top 1 Club-The one that I am at, Reason-I am there and from this monger's perspective what counts is one's presence. If I am thinking about the other 9 in the list, I ain't at number 1.

Rule of Cabbie-dom (taxi); If your fare is not there, don't pick them up.

AM

[Akibono]

No, Formally Lichtenberg is small Village not a Town, it is what Germans call a Ortsteil or Stadtteil (part of a Town).

Locals will clearly state (they are very proud!), they live in Lichtenberg. But ask some one in Bonn or Koln the route to Lichtenberg and they will shake their heads .

Actually the same as with Oase in Burgholzhausen also not a town but part of Friedrichsdorf.

FKK-OASE
Ober-Erlenbacher-Strasse 109
61381 Friedrichsdorf-Burgholzhausen


B30

German's are always very logical and orderly. Once you know the rule, everything falls into place.

[Nille Copenhagen]

Sorry for starting all the discussions about top 10 brothels and German Geography, quite amusing to see that people are very serious about these matters. LOL

Are we never going to see a Bernds trip report again

Nille

[Big30]

You're right it should say village and not town. In the US, we don't really differentiate between the 2. I corrected my post.

It is difficult also for me, I lived in Germany for a while but the administrative systems differs a lot from Holland. Not to speak about Counties in the US!

Talking about geography: Oedt, Grefrath, Burgholzhausen, Velbert, Elsdorf, Lohmar, ... !

B30

[Iseeu]

No, Formally Lichtenberg is small Village not a Town

You're right it should say village and not town. In the US, we don't really differentiate between the 2. I corrected my post.

But ask some one in Bonn or Koln the route to Lichtenberg and they will shake their heads .

Just goes to show that the German schools aren't using the correct geography textbooks. All Germans should be required to learn their geography like we did- on ISG! After all, every dedicated monger knows the route to Lichtenberg. LOL

[Big30]

Formally, it's true that Lichtenberg is a town in the jurisdiction of Hennef,

No, Formally Lichtenberg is small Village not a Town, it is what Germans call a Ortsteil or Stadtteil (part of a Town).

Locals will clearly state (they are very proud!), they live in Lichtenberg. But ask some one in Bonn or Koln the route to Lichtenberg and they will shake their heads .

Actually the same as with Oase in Burgholzhausen also not a town but part of Friedrichsdorf.

FKK-OASE
Ober-Erlenbacher-Strasse 109
61381 Friedrichsdorf-Burgholzhausen


B30

[Iseeu]

... and they'll tell you that they live in Lichtenberg. Formally, it's true that Lichtenberg is a village in the jurisdiction of Hennef, and receives municipal services from Hennef since it's too small to provide them on its own. It's similar, but not exactly, to the UK shire or US county seat.

Here's an example of it's usage taken from an online listing for Hotel Reuter:
The Hotel Reuter in Hennef, Germany situated Uckerather Straße 72, Lichtenberg can be contacted by phone +49 (0)2242 2655 or fax +49 (0)2242 2655. Here it is unfortunately not yet possible to book online. This accommodation Hotel Reuter would be glad to welcome you soon.

So the Hotel Reuter is in Hennef but it's situated in Lichtenberg.

Never heard anyone say "I'm going to Bernd's in Hennef". It's always; "I'm on my way to Lichtenberg" (and in the context of the conversation it will be understood which Lichtenberg is being referred to) or "I'm going to Schieferhof" (maybe that's why AskMen got it wrong!).