FKK Bernd's - Schieferhof

[Iseeu]

I looked at the Club M website and saw the name Brandi listed. Considering how bad my memory for names is and how awful my german is, I could have gotten the name wrong (and just as likely, I could have completely messed up the translation and got the story wrong). So, if an adventurer makes it over to Club M please let me know if I started a false rumor.

Both Brandi and Michelle are listed, but not Babsi...

[Boomer10]

We heard that Michelle is now at Club M, but I hadn't heard that Babsi had made the move as well. Hmmm warrants further inivestigation...

I looked at the Club M website and saw the name Brandi listed. Considering how bad my memory for names is and how awful my german is, I could have gotten the name wrong (and just as likely, I could have completely messed up the translation and got the story wrong). So, if an adventurer makes it over to Club M please let me know if I started a false rumor.

[Excess]

http://www.club-manuela.de/

[Iseeu]

Just a update, I was told that Babsi is nolonger at Bernds. She is apparently at a new club being run by a Bernds alumni.

We heard that Michelle is now at Club M, but I hadn't heard that Babsi had made the move as well. Hmmm warrants further inivestigation...

[Boomer10]

Girls missing on the day notably were Babsi

Just a update, I was told that Babsi is nolonger at Bernds. She is apparently at a new club being run by a Bernds alumni.

[George Bickham]

I'm planning a visit to the Hof later in the month and hope someone out there can help me with some questions. Will probqµably be there on 26 November, and happy to meet any other ISG-ers.

Does anybody know if Nathalie (slender, short black hair, Polish (? )) is still there? And any recent experiences? When I saw her in August, she arrived at about 4pm. Does she always do the evening shift like Svenja, or does it vary?

Can someone give me a description and/or report of Lara, if she's still there? Does she do CIM?

Does Tanja, the young brunette masseuse, offer extra services like Sandra? If so, any experiences?

Plus, any other recommendations, particularly of new faces?

Thanks in advance. My report will follow the visit.

[Excess]

It would be unkind and incorrect of me not to add Anna to the list on the ISG'ers argets. Anna obliged and wrapped her lips around several members during the Bernd's conference and all were able to report experiencing complete satisfaction for the record.

[Jackyo]

A 6th member was there in spirit but he was excused due to other business. Glasses were raised to brother Jackyo. Cheers, Jackyo.

Girls missing on the day notably were Babsi and sorry to say, Jackyo, Svenja.

Thanks, guys! I would have wanted to be there. Ach! Dummgelaufen!, as they say.

I'm sure I would have made up for Svenja's absence somehow based on your description of the lineup that day.

[Excess]

The ISG Global mini-conference was a success by any number of measures.

The venue was Bernd's which is always a club to kick things off correctly. Expecting a Monday to be quiet but it wasn't as the ISG turnout added to a good number of guests to keep the house full. Unfortunately, the girl count was down so there were some unsatisfied wishes, but with ISG'ers this isn't unusual as they are a demanding lot.

5 Members were signed up and all 5 arrived on the appointed day. 4 ISG'ers "closed the place", as members would expect. A 6th member was there in spirit but he was excused due to other business. Glasses were raised to brother Jackyo. Cheers, Jackyo.

Perhaps the most striking thing about this conference was the sheer airmiles clocked up by the famous 5 to get to Germany for the conference on the morning and onto Bernd's for the day. I counted a total of 40 hours in the air overnight for the 5, plus travel in most cases from Frankfort to the 'Hof. Serious attention to mongering by this group.

Italy 1974 won the award for most travel to attend as well as putting himself into solid contention for the ISG ATA Award for the Most Serious Monger - 2008.

This gentleman left Bangkok after sessioning at the Eden Club, flew to Frankfurt overnight and drove up to 'Hof for opening time at 1:00 pm. Closed the 'Hof and was in good spirits for the duration. Doing 2 of the World's greatest mongering clubs in one day- Eden and Bernd's, amazing.

In attendance were, Iseeu, Italy1974, Boomer 10, Excess and Johnny Z.

Having gotten the organisational business out of the way, we proceeded to thoroughly enjoy ourselves. A few tense moments when Katja grew concerned about the high volume level of Italy 1974's descriptions of mongering deeds past but we did explain to the girls that he was Italian and a triffle jet lagged so they should cut him some slack which they did. In any event, a great day/evening at Bernd's was enjoyed by all.

I am sure that there will be individual reports provided in due course, but some of my highlights were:

Observing these serious mongers, it was evident that innate natural selection was in play. Independently and instinctively, the ISG'ers gravitated to the better providers. Much in favor with the merry ISG band were Monica, Debbie, Leonie, Katja and Djarmila as well as Boomer's beloved Mara. Girls missing on the day notably were Babsi and sorry to say, Jackyo, Svenja. Iseeu and Excess were both shocked and felt somewhat cheated by the absence of our beloved, Connie. The "Turrrreee" just wasn't the same.

Excess took one for the Team as it turned out. Always ready to do test runs, he tried a relatively new 'Hof addition to the line up Diana - a German girl, long dark hair, a scorpion inked on her side, 28 years old in a couple of weeks. She sports a cute and appealing look but carries a few extra pounds on her stomach - unlike any of the ISG'ers ;-)) A number of ISG'ers commented on her as an interesting possibility and it fell to Excess to try her and report.

In summary, Excess wasn't much impressed. - a girl with several NO's which can be OK (no CIM for example, limited digits), but for Excess somewhat disruptive was Diana's wish to check frequently if the positioning of the condom was in order. Applaud her attitude towards towards safe sex, but it did tend to put Excess off his timing and stride. Nothing really special on the work bench, and I do have the feeling that Diana will not have an extended stay at Bernd's. All things considered, Excess decided to exercise Sperm Management and refrained from completing from his side even though Diana was treated to DATY which she enjoyed. No hard feelings, simply a lack of the same on Excess' part.

Monica and Debbie among others were able of course to erase that session from the memory banks with practiced ease.

Other highlights.

Iseeu and Djarmilia decided to demonstate the fine arts on the couches to completion without waiting to make the few steps to a waiting room.

Unfortunately and sadly, ISG discipline had broken down momentarily and the other 4 had wandered off to inspect other rooms at the time.

Fortunately, Iseeu was an eye witness. He described his performance to us later as simply "magnificent". Djarmila, diplomat as she is, didn't contradict.

A very frequent local guest did not assist in the girl/guest ratio by insisting on having 2 girls with him in the glass room down stairs in every instance during the evening. Tanja, Rita, Djarmila, Diana, Mara, Monica were but a few who passed through his loins. One of his troikas featured as mentioned, Djarmila with Diana. After the first 1/2 hour Diana was dismissed and the guest carried on giving Djarmila a solid rodgering for another 1/2 hour. 'Nuff said, thought Excess.

I did see him as he excited from the club towards closing proceeding in stuffing Euro 50 bill 'tips' into the box with the girls names above it at the entrance. 3-4 girls received presents from this gentleman. Somewhat excessive thought Excess.

Another N. American unaffiliated with ISG was very active as well, locking up girls, usually duos for an hour at a time and filling much of his time in the rooms. Towards the end of the evening the ISG'ers were observed wandering around with their dicks in their hands for want of girls. Good spirits prevailed, of course.

Italy 1974 insisted that he enjoyed himself so much that a further ISG Global mini-conference be convened in the first quarter 2009 and to be held in Bangkok.

Johnny Z and Boomer both savoured the atmosphere and partook of a number of sessions which were reported back as being fully satisfactory. Johhny sampled a newish girl, Lara, a buxom and hefty blond who did not rub Johnny the wrong way with her bottle of baby oil and massage that reached all the parts that had been stressed on the flight across the pond. Just what the Doctor ordered reported Johnny Z.

Boomer held out well for most of the evening and was mostly true to his beloved Mara who was as usual a busy girl. When they got together it was touching to see old friends get acquainted once again.

Iseeu manfully kept up a torrid pace with several hour long sessions with Leonie and Katja. Concern grew over his physical state but not to fear as he always reappeared with a smile on his face.

In summary, an excellent ISG meeting and great to put faces to ISG handles. All good fun, some great sessions and no-one disgraced themselves in or out of the zimmers. Hard to believe that we had not met other than via ISG perviously. Iseeu and I enjoyed reminiscing about absent girls from the 'Hof. We did look up several time during the evening and thought that we saw Brandi and Michelle at their respective work benches in the keller. But no, it was our minds playing tricks.

Excesss? He too enjoyed himself without reserve. Thanks guys.

[Fly Bob]

There is a good reason this is called the "mother of all clubs" and Tuesday was proof again.

There was a full contingent on board for the day. The ratio was good all day. Babsi was her wonderful self and full of life and stories, and other things during the day. Monica is back and wonderful as usual. Katja was downstairs and not busy, highly unusual, and I was able to introduce my self. We had a really nice talk for 30 minutes about her, Russia, life, and then she demonstrated why she is such a superstar. At the end of the day it finally dawned on me who this new shining face was. Natilly used to be at World and I met her last summer. She is excellent.

Overall a great day.

[Whitey2]

Yeah, I agree. But it's true, nevertheless, although it probably wasn't an entire hour between the first and second sessions with Katya. I was really hyped by her. Try staying away from Germany for over two years and see what it does to your adrenaline reserve, especially when you meet a chick like that.

The Mettmann report, when I get it done, will be just as energetic on my part, although the completion ratio to sexual activity was far less. Just too many arms and legs in the way, and too much group intensity for me a lot of the time. But you talk about rabbits - practically every guy there was hoofing it to one or more than one of the rooms every time a "cycle" took place, although sometimes just as voyeurs. Occasionally you would see a guy getting a bbbj on one of the hallway sofas or chairs, but mainly everything took place in the rooms, which can get quite crowded. Sometimes the girls would end up double or triple-teaming a guy who was struggling with getting off (such as meself). THAT was nice.

Another nice thing about Mettmann (for me) is that there is a glass wall partition between the smoking and non-smoking areas in the largish lounge.

Other previews:


Cocoon. A snore compared to the two above. Like attending an ice cream social.

World. Went there to meet up with my old friend Shiatsu again, mainly. A loooooong train ride from Wuppertal. World is World, although the main bar/lounge has been "Vegased" to depict 4 corners of the globe, with a round bar sitting in the middle. Lots of optik possibilities walking around, usually looking bored. Every now and then one would pole dance for a while to liven things up. LOUD music. The kino room has clearly visible movies now, as opposed to the fuzzy crap they used to have. Note: no couch bbbj there anymore.

Samya. Got there late in the evening, due to my return from World and a taxi problem I will detail in the appropriate thread. I didn't realize it closed at 1.

[Marlow]

forgive me for doing the maths or trying to at least. I liked this report because it gave us the strikes you can suffer at Bernds, but then I was agog in amazement. Six sessions in a ten hour day with breaks of one or two hours in between. So that's three hours of sex in the room and that excludes couch petting time which is usually around 15 minutes average and shower time and food time. I've heard of bed hopping but this is some kind of record! Why do rabbits come to mind when I read of exploits at Bernds!

[Whitey2]

First stop: Mecca

Bernds Friday Sept. 26. My first time at Bernds.

Arrived in Hennef (Seig) banhof just before one, took a taxi to Bernds. Takes less than 10 minutes.

First Session

Met at the door by twentysomething naked chick that Little Willie decided he wanted right there and then. A mistake to do that sort of thing, and I know it, but Willie can be persuasive. Session not so hot - lukewarm, disinterested bbbj, so-so mish, no finish. A swing and a miss. Don't remember the name, but I think she was from from Romania.

It must have been a Smoker's Messe that day. Absolutely everybody was smoking except me, creating a smoggy atmosphere that lasted from the time I got there until 11:00 p.m. when I left.

Second session

Round two was about an hour later with a good-looking chick who spoke a fair amount of English. Can't remember the name of this one either, and the session was equally unmemorable. Again, no finish.

By now, I am thinking that either all those ISG reports have been idealized or I have just picked the wrong day. I know in the back of my mind that neither of those things can be true, but it sure seems that way. I am bored.

But I meet a genuine ISG lurker in the downstairs lounge who speaks English and have a good long chat with him and also a Japanese businessman who soon joins in, having heard us conversing in English.

The ISG lurker's name is Juaquim (probably not how you spell it), a short, roundish Portuguese dude who lives and works in London and has a Brit accent. He got there by BUS and a little walking, thanks to somebody's report here in the Bernds section on how to do that. He is an FKK virgin, or was until about an hour before I met him. He is dying to talk to someone about the FKK scene and is absolutely bouncing off the walls from the session he had. The Japanese dude and I exchange grins, both being a bit more experienced. It's a little like watching a kid describe driving his first car. Silver dollar eyes, lots of hand gestures, breathless lustful descriptions.

Third session. Also fourth, fifth, and sixth.

Then a miracle plops down in my lap. Not next to me - on my lap. She is tall and big-boned though not fat, lively in a wiggly way that Willie approves of although he's kind of crunched down under that nicely-rounded Russian butt. This is Katya, she of much mention on this thread.

The Bernds legend lives! The smoke doesn't matter now, the music seems better now, the paint on the walls looks brighter. Everything changes! This is not only my idealized version of a woman, this is one wild enough and with enough stamina to probably kill me in about a dozen back-to-back sessions. I wisely limit it to four, and string them out with an hour or two in between. All positions eventually explored, four (count 'em, four) cim's in a row.

Juaquim and the Japanese dude, who have more or less been sitting around for most of the day, are increasingly curious for details and eventually come to the conclusion that I must be nuts to keep picking the same woman, what with a dozen or so others roaming around who look just as good or better. I am undeterred. I tell them that when it's right for me, it's right, and there's no use in trying to ring the bell any louder.

By the last session I am so drained of bodily fluids that my eyeballs are wrinkly. I have eaten so much of the famed Bernds buffet, that of the Hotel Reuter fame, that I am waddling. It's honestly not that good, but I find myself shoveling it down anyway. I lounge around the downstairs area, flopped across the longer sofa section that's right next to the window that looks into the adjoining bedroom, thinking that maybe I can work myself up for just one more go, but at around eleven I just give it up and go ask the thekenfrau to call me a taxi. I don't even want to mess with waiting around for the train. I have the taxi take me back to my hotel in Seigburg (not that far away, I find out, only about a 28-euro ride).

A final comment. Katya is a talker, even though her English is a bit halting. I am kind of a natural listener anyway, but it became obvious early on that her mood can vary if she senses that you aren't paying attention to her. Best to be attentive.

Other reports for the rest of my trip can be found on the following threads:
Saturday: Mettmann. They don't call it "Back to Mettmann" for nothing.
Sunday: Cocoon
Monday: World
Tuesday: Samya

[Italy 1974]

I vaguely remember my first visit to a club. The sight of a bunch of naked women sitting at various places and one running to the door to show you around was such a shock. I don't think I remember anything that was said when the girl showed me around the club.

I understand.

On my first visit to the Hof I was welcomed by a naked Princess!

Italy 1974

[Akibono]

If I close my eyes I can hear Connie yelling this too in my mind.

This gets the girls running to the door and within seconds afterwards a fresh faced fully clothed dude enters from the outside into a world of earthly delights and wanton debauchery.

I vaguely remember my first visit to a club. The sight of a bunch of naked women sitting at various places and one running to the door to show you around was such a shock. I don't think I remember anything that was said when the girl showed me around the club.