Bangkok Massage Parlors - Except TULIP and ANNIES!

[OldPhart]

I was at Hana and met June. I took the fashion course (BJ) and was told I could upgrade to full service if I wanted to.

June is 23 and from Korat and has been with Hana for two years. I thought she was perfect and was alarmed when she said her boobs were small. Implants suck.

I had my toys and she had her toys and I played while she sucked. I even tried vaseline on my forearm from my wrist to my elbow and "sawing" her.

She also let me shave her pussy. I appreciated that. Her hole was the nicest I'd seen in years.

I passed on the full service but I had the idea that she's an A+ girl because we had fingers up each other's asses.

This girl put in an effort like no other. I actually wanted to marry her.

[Syzygies]

I used to go to the Analisa when it was located near / next to honeybee. I didn't like it. The girls were either fat or really turned off, nothing sensual about it. Lydea is fairly cute though so that kind of makes it worth it. I think a good time can be had with her, but I try to book her on short notice and it almost never comes through as she already has a booking.

You didn't like the shop but still went there. Seems contradictory, but actually makes good sense. The girl overrides everything.

It is familiar problem with best looking girl always booked. I therefore always make a phone booking normally 30 minutes to 2 hours beforehand to avoid going to the place and missing out. This is once have become aware of who is the pretty girl from first time good luck meeting. Fine if you intended to look in all the nearby shops anyway, and are just browsing till find something.

I ring and ask what time the girl will be available and make a booking for that time. You have to be a bit flexible to get to the popular girls. It is easier for me because I speak Thai. I do understand that communication in English can be very difficult with phone bookings, as they say things that are not precise. It really annoys me when the staff insist on using imprecise unclear English. Especially they use past, present and future tenses badly. Sometimes they do not know when the girl will be working, so just have to try again later or another day. Sometimes I have had to ring 3 or 4 different shops for various girls, and still come up empty handed. For favorite girls, collect their LINE Ids, so can check directly with girl if she is working. Then make the booking.

I have typically two or three questions for a phone Booking:
1. Is the girl actually at the shop right now?
2a. If not when is she expected next? (To plan when I should call again)
2b. If she is there, then what is the next time is she available for a booking? If immediately available, I tell them how long will take me to get there.

These procedures work reasonably well for me, perhaps more difficult in English. If a girl is not at the shop, I usually do not make a booking. Too risky, or I always call again later to make sure she actually turned up.

It is also very normal for me, to have one girl at a shop, and none of the other girls really appeal. Only ever took one girl at Bongkot, Pink, New massage, Geisha, Lollitas, and others whose names escape me right now. So yes I agree that sometimes a shop can be not particularly liked in general, but still keen to take just one or two girls that just happen to be there. What can you do. If a favorite girl works at unfavourite shop, are you going to give her up? Not in my case. A shop has to be incredibly bad for me to pass on a special girl working there. LOL.

I try to collect a few free lancers now, so that I don't have to put up with a shop at all. However, the freelancers can be hard to find them available at short notice, and unreliable for long notice. Especially the best looking ones.

[ParkVille]

I used to go to the Analisa when it was located near / next to honeybee. I didn't like it. The girls were either fat or really turned off, nothing sensual about it. Lydea is fairly cute though so that kind of makes it worth it. I think a good time can be had with her, but I try to book her on short notice and it almost never comes through as she already has a booking.

[Eddie Munster]

Sorry to hear your bad experience. Thank you for sharing and the warnings. I got impression that Analisa Massage, Paradise Massage and Sensual Massage are related in some ways. Be careful!

I used to go to Analisa at the old location, and it was great. Amazing HJ and happy service. The new place is awful. No one is happy, service kind of sucks.

Paradise massage, at the same location as the old Analisa and with some of the same girls, is the better experience. Though I usually just get the "Happy Massage" and avoid anything extra.

[Franciscass]

What caused guys to show up to Analisa in the first place? Just the curiosity to try another place? I mean there are hundereds of massage joints. Why this one?

I go for recommened shops or shops with pretty girls present and usually avoid anything too weird or specialised.

If passing through you only have time for a single visit then yes stick to the tried and trusted. But living here or on extended stays I recommend checking out new shops as I do with new restaurants and just at with new restaurants at new P4P shops I find there is usually a greater effort to ensure customer satisfaction.

Obviously Ananlisa didn't buy into this, instead thought just putting tantric / prostrate massage on the menu would draw in the crowds. Tantric massage is a very specialized technique requiring training which I very much doubt exists at Analisa. For sure the girl that looked after me had none. Prostrate massage when done properly is extremely stimulating but again requires training and is not simply a finger or dildo stuck up your ass.

There is room for such a service but appropriate skill sets by attractive staff, comfortable private rooms and a sense of feeling welcome are all needed. If it comes along I will be more than happy to pay more for my 2 hours.

[Syzygies]

There are probably well over 100 Soapy places in Thailand. When a Thai goes past and sees a sign "Aap Op Nuat", they know very well what it is. Farangs might not know, if tourists. I can remember my early Thailand visits and seeing the signs of certain places from a great distance, like Sahara on Sathorn, and wondering what they were. The big publicity came when Chuvit (Chuwit), owner of about 6 famous parlors in the Davis Group, including Copa Cabana, Honululu Love Boat (now called Long Beech), Emmannuelle, etc. , wanted to enter politics on a stamp out corruption platform, and exposed a lot of high ranking Thais as being Soapy Customers. Many Police were getting free service (paid for by Chuvit). I am not sure if Poseidon was in the Davis Group. Chuvit subsequently sold some (or all) of his soapies. Now there is a "Lord" group including some of those parlors.

The main customers are the rich Thais, and they will know and have tried several Soapies, provided they are in the right vicinity to be convenient. The big Soapies provide parking lots for the customers to park their cars. Many Soapies have been in major decline. Thais don't have the big money to spend, that they used to.

For some reason, Poseidon got big publicity on Farang web sites, since many years ago, but I don't understand why, maybe the catchy name. I would never have rated it in the top places, myself. Number of girls was not specially high compared to some other places.

My very first Soapy visit was maybe 35 years ago, and occurred by accident. I just wandered in to see what it was. Possibly was called "Golden Gate" and was located perhaps Sukhumvit Soi 2 but long gone. It was very easy for newbies to Thailand to become aware of Soapies, since taxi drivers would take you to one, trying collect a commission, even though you asked to be taken to your Hotel. I recall being taken to Vilunda / Oscar against my wishes.

My favorite place since approx. 20 years ago or more was Chao Praya II, which had a very large fishbowl and many girls at the time. Long before I became aware of the ISG. It had a body slide section too. Badly declined now, so I don't recommend it. The decline started after Thaksin came to power, and soon after all the non-Thai Nationals, e. G ThaiYai from Myanmar, and girls aged too low were cleaned out. Suddenly the line ups were looking not so expansive.

I tried Poseidon due to Farang web site publicity in some later year, but it was generally disappointing for me. Line ups too small, girls too expensive, too many "models" young and with no baby damage but plain faces. Hardly found any girls really worth repeating. Also tried Nataree about the same time that had a lot more girls to choose from. Around that time I quite liked Cleopatra on Din Daeng road (subsequently closed), not the one in China town, Mona Lisa, Emmanuelle, Copa Cabana, Utopia, and budget Bangkok Cosy. Purely due to being able to find some hot girls that I wanted to repeat. I did not use Annies, since it did not seem to have any pretty girls in those days, and I had bad experiences with Darling. You had to have time though to potentially survey multiple places, if the line ups were not so large. One getting a Thai GF, it became difficult to make extensive time for Soapies. An Oily MP visit could be far quicker, and more conveniently located.

In the old days, few Soapy girls had surgeries. Was much better for me, than in the modern day. Many Soapies have a lot of dick scared girls, especially newbies, probably because they are much more used to fucking Thais and other Asians. They are also not used to long duration of sex on the bed. They expect to waste a lot of time in the bath and have a quick sex at the end. Harder to find pretty girls really into the sex, these days. I have not picked up a new regular girl from a Thai oriented Soapy MP for a long time now, years, and all my previous favourites dropped out. I am sure great girls, suitable to be a regular could be found, but a lot of diligence might be required, or great luck. Great girls don't last long, typically.

Generally better service can be had from girls that are very used to Farang customers, and perhaps even prefer them. For guys used to a PSE Oily shop, a Soapy is just not going to work for them, most likely. Extended wasted time, and sex only a small part of the procedure.

These days, I like bars more so, since I can see the girls properly, know what the body is like, talk to them, assess the personality and possible compatibility etc., less likely to get a dud, or an unsatisfactory body, or not so great surgeries. My success arte in bars has improved a lot (with experience of how to choose carefully), and my success rate in Soapies declined badly.

20 years ago most Soapy girls I was choosing (assisted by a reliable mamasan) were successful enjoyable sessions. Not so today in a Thai oriented Soapy. Most range from disappointing to quite ordinary. Long time since found an outstanding girl with natural beauty, no surgeries. I guess I am not so easy to be impressed any more.

Since the advent of Oilies having Nuru body slide, and having Jacuzzis if desired, the necessity of visiting a Soapy has dropped off, and I would only go there looking for outstanding beauty. I will try Merci some time and see what it has to offer. Would love to try some of the more obscure places again too, like Ida. I did spot some pretty girls there the one and only time.

[Sunlover2]

Guys are too coy to come on here and admit it but they're going there to get a toy shoved up their bottom. If you google 'prostate massage Bangkok' Analisa is the top result. It's definitely not for me and doesn't appear to be your thing either but this place has spotted a 'gaping hole' in the market and is seeking to 'plug' it.

The play on words shop name should be the first tip-off: Analisa Massage = Anal*is*a Massage.

SL.

[Whoreman]

What makes you say this? You know many Thais that prefer Poseidon?

I didn't say they preferred it, I said any Thai would be able to name it. Clearly most Thais don't go to soapy massage parlors but they are aware of their existence and Poseidon is the one they can name. I've seen it referred to in Thai movies. This notoriety with both Thais and foreigners ensures it will never be short of customers, especially newbies.

[Vrsabien]

Hi,

Looks like I am going to get some free time in Bangkok, so for those who know the following places.

What is the name of at least one girl you would recommend for a 2 hour hotel outcall from:

Mango.

Bamboo.

37.2.

Eden club.

Cherry.

Angel.

Honey Bee.

Orchard.

Dream Haven.

Incall.

101 Massage.

Club 102.

Any tips much appreciated and I will upload reports 24 hours later.

[Vrsabien]

I see little point in taking a girl till 6 AM. I don't want too have to set the alarm for 4. 30 AM to get another fuck in before she departs. I suppose you have to not sleep until after the girl goes.

If I take girls for LT, I need them till at least 8 or 9 AM. That is just me I guess.

I also see little point to do outcall unless you know the girls already in case chemistry is not good, or girls are not your spec.

I thought if you take them for long time outcall there be more sex than sleep, maybe a couple hours rest. But yeah if she leaving at 6 am then be first time in along time that I be up at the crack of dawn to get me some of Dawns craxk.

[Syzygies]

Poseidon is a victim of its own success. Ask any Thai to name one sex establishment and they'll probably name that one. But that means they'll get a constant stream of customers regardless of the quality of looks and service.

What makes you say this? You know many Thais that prefer Poseidon?

There are so many Soapies, and so many in some level of decline. The ecomony is bad. Thais don't have the money perhaps?

When I used to visit a wide variety of Soapies I did not see Poseidon was especially busy. Just another Soapy. Nataree was much more busy, also Catherine, La Defense etc. Places with better value for money perhaps. Even Amsterdam, Tarawadee seemed busier.

I would have thought Poseidon was one better known by Farangs, who knows why?


Even IDA down near Rama 3 had a big customer lounge and looked busy with Thais when I went there a few years back. Nancy had a steady flow of customers despite what I thought were crap quality girls. Cheap though.

[Whoreman]

Nice report! Poseidon used to be one of my favorite MP, and I had some great sessions there. But they always charged me an extra Farang fee of 500 bahts, as I am not Asian. One time, I took a Chinese friend of mine there. It was his first time in Thailand and they waved the fee for him. I never went back after that.

At that time, they also used to have a book with pictures of top models. If you liked one, you could make a request for her, and the girl would tell you when she can be available. I made 2 attempts over the years, but never succeeded in getting a session with one of those girls, probably for the better as the session would most likely have been lackluster and expensive.

Poseidon is a victim of its own success. Ask any Thai to name one sex establishment and they'll probably name that one. But that means they'll get a constant stream of customers regardless of the quality of looks and service. Places like Merci, on the other hand, have to fight for customers so you'll find better looks and service there, without the farang surcharge.

[Whoreman]

What caused guys to show up to Analisa in the first place? Just the curiosity to try another place? I mean there are hundereds of massage joints. Why this one?

I go for recommened shops or shops with pretty girls present and usually avoid anything too weird or specialised.

Guys are too coy to come on here and admit it but they're going there to get a toy shoved up their bottom. If you google 'prostate massage Bangkok' Analisa is the top result. It's definitely not for me and doesn't appear to be your thing either but this place has spotted a 'gaping hole' in the market and is seeking to 'plug' it.

[Syzygies]

Nice report! Poseidon used to be one of my favorite MP, and I had some great sessions there. But they always charged me an extra Farang fee of 500 bahts, as I am not Asian. One time, I took a Chinese friend of mine there. It was his first time in Thailand and they waved the fee for him. I never went back after that.

At that time, they also used to have a book with pictures of top models. If you liked one, you could make a request for her, and the girl would tell you when she can be available. I made 2 attempts over the years, but never succeeded in getting a session with one of those girls, probably for the better as the session would most likely have been lackluster and expensive.

Yes Poseidon never was a favorite place of mine, because many so called models had good bodies but were not very pretty, and also general service levels were weak. The 500 surcharge did not put me off as this was common at many Soapy places. I don't mind paying if the girls are worth it, but generally they were not. I did better else where.

My early favorite places were Chao Praya 2, and Mona Lisa, without Farang surcharges, although Mona Lisa could attempt rip offs of newbies. Poseidon was not competing with these for average service levels. In later years I liked Long Beech, Amsterdam, Emannuelle, and Copa Cabana. All of these have either disappeared of declined badly. Its difficult to find a place with good value great looks and great service, unless you happen to be very keen on surgeries girls, maybe.

Two Poseidon girls from yester year standard level. The later fucked me in the bath. That was special. I got her contact details, but later discovered she was unreliable and just money hungry. The former looked good but performed very timidly. Still these girls would have quite competitive looks today (for me) and if they were in an oily, I would try them.

[Lefeu]

...To put things into perspective before I go through the punt itself, Poseidon, perhaps more than some of the others generally doesn't cater to Western guys. My impression was they are not non-existent but that they are a rarer customer than the Japanese and Koreans...

Nice report! Poseidon used to be one of my favorite MP, and I had some great sessions there. But they always charged me an extra Farang fee of 500 bahts, as I am not Asian. One time, I took a Chinese friend of mine there. It was his first time in Thailand and they waved the fee for him. I never went back after that.

At that time, they also used to have a book with pictures of top models. If you liked one, you could make a request for her, and the girl would tell you when she can be available. I made 2 attempts over the years, but never succeeded in getting a session with one of those girls, probably for the better as the session would most likely have been lackluster and expensive.