Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[Drbombay]

There's an underlying social tenet here called, in Tagalog, "utang na loob," which speaks to a series of interlocking obligations to which every Filipino is, to one degree or another, subject. Translated literally as "debt of the heart," the web of interconnections has an almost karmic influence on the life of many Filipinos, and the strongest string in this web of obligations is that between children and their parents. Children are literally indoctrinated from childhood about the debt they owe their parents for having given them life; and it's a debt that can never be fully repaid during the parents' lives.

GE.

I can understand that to some extent, but it comes to a point where the family has to look at what's best for the family. I guess we in the West have been taught that the metric of success is are you doing better than the generations before you. IMO, my kid owes me nothing, raising them and getting them set out on a path where they can be independent of me when they are adults is what I'm expected to do. Of course if they do reach that level and want to help, I'm fine just give me a small room and a TV and I should be ok, but I don't think I would want to burden them down with all of my "junk" for them to cover. I guess to compare this between cultures is look at how the common meme of a loser is someone who still lives in "mom's basement" whereas I guess in the PI this in and of itself may not be a bad thing if they are supporting the mom from the basement.

[Drbombay]

Stories about the modal pattern--children taking care of elders--don't make the papers because they attract no attention. The stories you are referring to are in the media precisely because they are out of the ordinary.

In Korean culture tradition holds that the oldest son is responsible to care for the parents. But because the society is very patriarchal (although women are trying to change it), oldest son's wife ends up doing the caretaking. Women aren't dumb: in recent years they increasingly avoid marriage to oldest sons. Moral of the story: don't be an oldest Korean son.

At Soapy Smith they actually do make the press a lot, they just don't get translated into the English versions as much. These types of killings have been occurring so much that as with any bureaucracy of which Japan is famous for, a committee has been formed to "look into this" in other words say something and do very little to fix the problem.

[PedroMorales]

Last time I was there I had made arrangement to meet with student which by Philippine law Is legal. I / E Can marry at 13 with parental consent and consensual sex at 16. I digress but she kept insisting I bareback her. I saw how this was going to go with a letter or email stating "I'm pregnant and you're the father as I was a virgin before you. I'm just saying be careful.

You can and probably should be charged with corrupting a minor, which will get you a very long stretch in a Pi prison, and in an American one if you are a US citizen. I would imagine you would be shanked in both as well and many would rejoice.

For the more civilised. There are all different relevant ages.

Here is a Unicef map. https://www.unicef.org/lac/media/2806/file It explains they are talking about a minimum and not giving a green light to predators.

Here is a report saying the Pi plans to raise the age of consent form 12 to 16. https://www.wionews.com/world/philip...2-to-16-351535#text=The%20 country%20 has%20 one%20 of, country's%20 penal%20 code%20 since%201930. Note, if you follow this predator and go around raping kids, you will probably end up shanked in a prison; I certainly hope so.

For all of you tempted to emulate this creep, note there is a big scam market honey trapping you into doing that. When you be ring a minor into your room and they spring their trap to empty your bank account, you deserve it (and to be shanked in prison). These scams are not uncommon in Pampanga. As regards those who are scammed, they will fit well into prison as everyone is innocent in those places. Even those who get shanked.

Bottom line: Once they are under 18, or if you are in any doubt, run. Or get shanked.

[Sammon]

Of course that would not apply to us. It would only apply to locals. The voting age is 18 in PI, but that don't apply to us either.

Irrespective of local or state law age of consent is 18 years. This is international standard. What locals do and can get away with is a different question.

[Mr Enternational]

Speaking of being careful, can someone expound on this early marriage and consensual sex thing? Seems. . . dangerous.

Of course that would not apply to us. It would only apply to locals. The voting age is 18 in PI, but that don't apply to us either.

[WestCoast1]

Last time I was there I had made arrangement to meet with student which by Philippine law Is legal. I / E Can marry at 13 with parental consent and consensual sex at 16.

Speaking of being careful, can someone expound on this early marriage and consensual sex thing? Seems. . . dangerous.

[Azmodeus Fl]

Last time I was there I had made arrangement to meet with student which by Philippine law Is legal. I / E Can marry at 13 with parental consent and consensual sex at 16. I digress but she kept insisting I bareback her. I saw how this was going to go with a letter or email stating "I'm pregnant and you're the father as I was a virgin before you. I'm just saying be careful.

[Cbea20]

That's true about "obligation", utang na loob. Note that the foreigner does not enjoy it. No obligation is created when the foreigner gives help or money. That's why he is a preferred source of help. I always assume that I am not the only possible source, whatever I may be told.

Note also, even "free" public school requires investment--for uniform, supplies, transportation. They are not necessary enrolled in a private "school they cannot afford".

There's an underlying social tenet here called, in Tagalog, "utang na loob," which speaks to a series of interlocking obligations to which every Filipino is, to one degree or another, subject. Translated literally as "debt of the heart," the web of interconnections has an almost karmic influence on the life of many Filipinos, and the strongest string in this web of obligations is that between children and their parents. Children are literally indoctrinated from childhood about the debt they owe their parents for having given them life; and it's a debt that can never be fully repaid during the parents' lives.

GE.

[GoodEnough]

But I know mfs that are taking care of 35 and 40 year old parents. Most of the bar girls don't have parents even as old as you. I can understand if you are 50 and taking care of a 70 year old parent, but that is not something an 18 or 20 year old should have to do before even getting their life started good.

There's an underlying social tenet here called, in Tagalog, "utang na loob," which speaks to a series of interlocking obligations to which every Filipino is, to one degree or another, subject. Translated literally as "debt of the heart," the web of interconnections has an almost karmic influence on the life of many Filipinos, and the strongest string in this web of obligations is that between children and their parents. Children are literally indoctrinated from childhood about the debt they owe their parents for having given them life; and it's a debt that can never be fully repaid during the parents' lives.

GE.

[Soapy Smith]

At Soapy Smith. You would be surprised at the numbers of stories that I see here in Japan in the news on kids who kill their parents. I'm talking about 40-60 year olds offing their parents in their 80's and 90's and you get the same response as to whey they did it: "I was tired of taking care of them and it was a burden" while they had to also work their normal lives.

Stories about the modal pattern--children taking care of elders--don't make the papers because they attract no attention. The stories you are referring to are in the media precisely because they are out of the ordinary.

In Korean culture tradition holds that the oldest son is responsible to care for the parents. But because the society is very patriarchal (although women are trying to change it), oldest son's wife ends up doing the caretaking. Women aren't dumb: in recent years they increasingly avoid marriage to oldest sons. Moral of the story: don't be an oldest Korean son.

[Goferring]

But I know mfs that are taking care of 35 and 40 year old parents. Most of the bar girls don't have parents even as old as you. I can understand if you are 50 and taking care of a 70 year old parent, but that is not something an 18 or 20 year old should have to do before even getting their life started good.

Using their logic, it should be the 45 year old phil-parents who should be taking care of the 70 year old monger. 😁.

[Engine Driver]

Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan have similar patterns in which children have a life-long commitment to care for parents and family. According to your theory they shouldn't be able to get anywhere as societies.

I'm not sure if you know much about cricket, but Mr. E let that one go through to the 'keeper. Hahaha.

Japan, Korea and Taiwan are rich countries, full of educated people in well paying jobs. Unlike Filipinos who have no birth control and think it's truly a blessing from God to have 23 kids, Japanese, Koreans and Taiwanese wisely stop after having one or two. They have a declining birth rate. The people there also know the value of savings and have good pension plans to assist with retirement. The financial burden on kids to support their parents in old age is therefore less as the parents have been sensible all their lives, living within their means. A Filipina would rather spend her last 6,000 peso on a lechon and a case of Red Horse for her extended family than on essential medical treatment for young Rodrigo or to pay his overdue school fees.

Uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings in Japan, Korea and Taiwan are gainfully employed and can support themselves without constantly seeking family donations. Bloodsucking is not part of their culture, unlike in the Philippines. Individual success and achievement in those rich countries is also valued, whereas in the Philippines, everyone is dragged down to the lowest common denominator. They just can't have anyone succeed!

[Drbombay]

Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan have similar patterns in which children have a life-long commitment to care for parents and family. According to your theory they shouldn't be able to get anywhere as societies.

At Soapy Smith. You would be surprised at the numbers of stories that I see here in Japan in the news on kids who kill their parents. I'm talking about 40-60 year olds offing their parents in their 80's and 90's and you get the same response as to whey they did it: "I was tired of taking care of them and it was a burden" while they had to also work their normal lives.

[Mr Enternational]

Social security and other such benefits are there for westerners, there's nothing for the elderly in third world countries.

But I know mfs that are taking care of 35 and 40 year old parents. Most of the bar girls don't have parents even as old as you. I can understand if you are 50 and taking care of a 70 year old parent, but that is not something an 18 or 20 year old should have to do before even getting their life started good.

[Sammon]

Late 2019 (seems like a long time ago)

I've had another Pinay there actually ask me yet again to send money directly to her sister so that her kids can stay in school which I turned down, nor was I going to be responsible for buying inventory for the family store.

My standard reply for money demands is ' you did fine before meeting me '.

For the service I am more generous. But being a sugar daddy I am not. When I meet a girl if the girl starts with sob stories I set them straight right away. After that demands stop. Girls always try every which way. One recent girl wanted me to pay for her sisters wedding. Free money is always accepted.