Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[Chocha Monger]

Yes, I am familiar with the Kubler-Ross model of grief but I think my ex-girlfriend's stages went like this:

1. Denial: I can't believe he got those pictures of me sucking my supervisor's tool and getting raw dogged! That's impossible. He did not just dump me in front of my barkada. I will not accept it. I can't be pregnant for my ex-supervisor my period will come tomorrow. My period will come next week. Oh well, sometimes I go without a period every November.

2. Anger: I hate my barkada they promised me that he would never find out all the way from the province. They were all doing it and didn't get caught. They are responsible for this. My supervisor "gayuma" me with black magic!

3. Bargaining: I will get my boyfriend back by offering to be his slave and sell my snatch in the bars to earn money for him. I will offer him threesomes and promise never to lie to him again in an attempt to expose him to possible diseases and false paternity.

She seems stuck in the third stage. I told her I was just not brave enough to stick around and raise another man's bastard. I then proceeded to flee under the cover of darkness. Unlike Kabul Guy, I did not leave any cash on the nightstand seeing how she intended to pin the donkey's tail on me and possibly leave me with a diseased todger or worse.

At least she chose a good time to give me a reason to leave. The relatives are sending in their Christmas demands for "pasalubong" and funding for the Christmas and New Year fiestas. When she informed me of this I told her to tell them she no longer has a rich poriner boyfriend and the barangay festivities will be a tad poorer this year. Everyone is asking where is her poriner boyfriend and she is handling it the typical pinay way, lying.

[Sly One]

For those who don't know.

Stage 1. Disbelief. I can't believe he left me.

Stage 2. Anger. The bastard left me now how can I fuck him up?

Stage 3. Bargaining. Coming to some common ground. Like oK I will give up 1/2 the house.

Stage 4. Depression. Fuck I miss the bastard I should of. Fucked him more? Given him more love etc.

Stage 5. Moving On. Shit I'm over him I will try to find another and try not to fuck up this time?

Sort of covers it?

Sly

[Kabul Guy]

......, I have heard tales of terror where expats have had to physically remove their distraught newly ex-girlfriends from their residence. It just seems really crazy that some Filipinas think they can refuse to accept a breakup and force the other party to continue on in a relationship.

I just dumped my GF as well. Was tears and lots of text messages. I was a bit of a coward and just did a runner, left apartment (in her name) some cash and departed.

Lots of text messages declaring undying love, these changed into threats of suicide and harm coming to me and within about 2 hours was worried about support. Her true colours after all.

Have promised support, at least until I leave Philippines, will replace sim card and add her to junk email status.

[D Cups]

QUOTE=Pantot;1649504 Wherever I lived there, if I did, I would do so very discreetly and I would play entirely elsewhere ENDQUOTE That's my plan: live up in the hills of Valencia (West of Dumaguete) and monger in CEB, MNL and elsewhere. Maybe get a Filipina GF who is a flight attendant so she is gone a lot.

[Ikksman]

{S N I P}I don't wish to bore all and sundry, so just one example should suffice. A poster (in response to a question of yours), stated that you should be aware that he had been to Philippines, because of his earlier responses to your Zamboanga posts. You failed to acknowledge his statement, but instead you proceeded to comment about the safety or otherwise of Zamboanga. This was not the issue in this thread. This tends to put some people a bit offside.{S N I P}

K9,

It is a common tactic by some types of posters who, when being called to answer the unanswerable or being exposed in some way, instead of manning up they respond by expounding on some other point and ignoring the point at hand.

This is a type of 'straw man' or 'Aunt Sally' argument.

On the ISG PI forums, the experienced posters then generally ignore these posters. I have been PM'd more than once, by some of the old hands here, recommending that I ignore an argumentative and obnoxious poster. The ISG PI forums are actually very well self-regulated, compared to some other forums.

My best suggestion to you, is to pay the trivial subscription fee and then you will benefit from the substantial interaction and information flow that occurs via PM. I have to delete posts in my inbox every few weeks.

Ikks.

[X Man]

CM, you have an interesting way of summarizing PI in a mostly negative, but somehow humorous way. I'd ask you to elaborate on the slavescenario, but I'm sure you wouldn't.

There is a lady I've met, shagged, etc. I've already had my way with her, but now that we are only communicating online she is giving me the "boss" treatment. I'm the boss apparently. I'm looking forward to how that plays out, but maybe I'm the boss mouse entering the mousetrap. X.

I am sure women in other countries refuse to be dumped even when it is clearly their fault and they would not tolerate similar behavior from their boyfriends. But the scale of the effort in the Philippines seems to go a bit further. In other places I haven't seen the massive recruitment of several members of the barkada and family members to save the relationship. It takes a lot of cooperation to create a big lie for the poriner boyfriend where each person involved plays a role in taking part of the blame for the pinay's actions.

I have heard a lot of crazy shit but a woman blaming her screw-up on black magic, peer pressure, "nothing to do" or "don't know why I did" are just ways of refusing to take the buck for bad behavior. A lot of Filipinas seem incapable of saying, "I did it because I wanted to and thought you wouldn't catch me because you're a poriner. " Upon being confronted about bad behavior the standard response is to tell as many lies as possible. Then repeat the lies as often as possible. Toss in some fake surprise that the matter even came up. Then get confronted with hard evidence. Change the lie to include a fragment of truth. If more hard evidence is presented fold and confess to everything with copious amounts of tears, bawl, plead for forgiveness, swear it will never happen again, and declare undying love for the offended party.

However, what really took the cake was when she offered to be my "slave. " Yes, she actually used that word and I asked if she knew what that meant, she left no doubt what she was offering. I am sure more than a few guys on here would be more than tempted to accept her offer. I can't say that I have had a woman in any other country offer to become my slave to compensate for bad behavior.

Now, where do they sell chains, shackles, collars and ball gags for a petite frame in Manila? Oh, and I suppose I will need a whip too if I intend to be a respectable slave master.

[Hutsori]

She even enlisted the help of her mother, giving her my phone number to call and intercede on her behalf. I told the mother why her daughter was handed over her walking papers. She agreed that it was justified and backed it up on social media declaring to her daughter that she must accept the consequences of her actions and move on. The ex-girlfriend's best friend also expressed similar sentiments.

C'mon, m8. You omitted the juicy parts. What did she do and how did you discover it?

Don't stop believin'.

[BrainDrain]

It is hard to know if they are happy totally. They are certainly happy in the sense they have left to a better country, more security in life, new baby and quite possibly husband is helping her family back in Phi. Age or race difference do not matter much to Phi girls. Chinese girls used to be the same till economy improved and changed their attitude. In Asian countries girls respect older people. They certainly know older men will provide them the security they need.

As to love it is difficult for outsiders to know for sure. Some of these girls really love their husbands and are not looking for other relationships. The fact that they look and smile at you does not mean they want a tryst with you on the side. It is generally Asian politeness that if somebody looks at them they tend to break a smile.

There are a couple of 48 year old Filipinas that I have met in my travels that live in Switzerland. Both have been married 20 years, are obviously Swiss citizens.

One is divorced and living off her husband still, as well as little "donations" from travelling business men like me when we are in town. She still has a great body and lovely fashion sense.

The other lady is still married, unhappily, but her FB posts show a happy lady and husband with grown kids.

For the Filipinas that can make t work, I think it works well. These guys both travel home to Phils once a year and drop a good chucnk of hubby's money to the family.

It is these success stories, the pictures of girls whom have landed a good overseas husband that make the homeground girls so eager to lease us.

Cheers.

[BrainDrain]

I am in the last part of a multi week trip to Cebu. I have noticed something very interesting. During previous trips, when a girl knew I was actually IN CEBU, they used to be at first incredulous and then entusiastic. They were always happily surprised that I was actually in Cebu, after dealing with so many of the lying losers on the various dating websites who always promised to come, but never did. Now, many are actually disappointed I am here and cut off communication. My perception is that they are looking for one of the lonely idiots who will send monthly stipends for some sweet words and a webcam chat or two. Many of my ex contacts have simply disappeared. I'm sure they are being supported by one or more of this ever expanding group of "philanthropic fools". The girls all have one or more family members or friends who are being supported in this way. It used to be they were looking for some guy to meet; at best establish some sort of relationship, or at worse make some extra money. Now their working day consists of trolling the websites for lonely suckers and chatting the ones they have already hooked. No need to sweat it actually meeting a guy in person.

Pretty sure lots of the stories are cover stories, as are some of my own stories, arriving earlier or later than I say, mysteriously working so late at night etc etc etc.

I'm sure some of my girls certainly have other guys. For me, I only see them 1-2 days a year, they need more than this.

As for the AC machine, we are just the customers that pass through enjoying what we can. The girls, the mamasans, the doormen, the receptionists all know this.

It's a big export game, enjoy it.

[Kitsune9]

I seriously doubt there are more than a handful of posters on this forum who have been to as many places in the Philippines as I have.

Welcome Pantot,

I am sure that we will all benefit from your extensive knowledge of mongering in the Philippines.

I only perceive one issue, and I am sure that this has been observed, by many members, in some of your recent posts.

I don't wish to bore all and sundry, so just one example should suffice. A poster (in response to a question of yours), stated that you should be aware that he had been to Philippines, because of his earlier responses to your Zamboanga posts. You failed to acknowledge his statement, but instead you proceeded to comment about the safety or otherwise of Zamboanga. This was not the issue in this thread. This tends to put some people a bit offside.

Anyway, welcome from another new member (but not new to mongering).

Kitsune9 (part Filipino, part Japanese).

[Kitsune9]

Probably applies outside phils also.

Definitely not limited to Filipina!

One suggestion is to repeatedly advise the SYT that you have to have tests and subsequently have to have treatment at specialist hospital, and refuse to say why, except that you definitely will be unable to have children in the future. Has been known to work where the girl is a bit health conscious, and of course wants a family (like 99% of Filipina).

[Chocha Monger]

I am sure women in other countries refuse to be dumped even when it is clearly their fault and they would not tolerate similar behavior from their boyfriends. But the scale of the effort in the Philippines seems to go a bit further. In other places I haven't seen the massive recruitment of several members of the barkada and family members to save the relationship. It takes a lot of cooperation to create a big lie for the poriner boyfriend where each person involved plays a role in taking part of the blame for the pinay's actions.

I have heard a lot of crazy shit but a woman blaming her screw-up on black magic, peer pressure, "nothing to do" or "don't know why I did" are just ways of refusing to take the buck for bad behavior. A lot of Filipinas seem incapable of saying, "I did it because I wanted to and thought you wouldn't catch me because you're a poriner. " Upon being confronted about bad behavior the standard response is to tell as many lies as possible. Then repeat the lies as often as possible. Toss in some fake surprise that the matter even came up. Then get confronted with hard evidence. Change the lie to include a fragment of truth. If more hard evidence is presented fold and confess to everything with copious amounts of tears, bawl, plead for forgiveness, swear it will never happen again, and declare undying love for the offended party.

However, what really took the cake was when she offered to be my "slave. " Yes, she actually used that word and I asked if she knew what that meant, she left no doubt what she was offering. I am sure more than a few guys on here would be more than tempted to accept her offer. I can't say that I have had a woman in any other country offer to become my slave to compensate for bad behavior.

Now, where do they sell chains, shackles, collars and ball gags for a petite frame in Manila? Oh, and I suppose I will need a whip too if I intend to be a respectable slave master.

[Pantot]

Its interesting whenever I hear comments from expats that actually live in the Phils. They have the most gripes and frustrations. All the petty irritations I have experienced become full blown maddening life struggles.

As for me I have never been there for more than 16 days at a pop. I used to have plans to retire there but those have been drastically scaled back in the past 5 or so years. Its become the equivalent of dating versus marriage. Dating the Phils is an exciting exhilarating experience, always new, always an adventure, always fun. But marriage to the Phils looks like. Well conventional marriage, enough said. In my relatively short escapes there the bullshit part of being there is always acceptable because it has a end date.

The most troubling aspect of actually planting down roots there in my view goes beyond the mundane day to day. Its the feeling that expats with a routine anywhere in the Phils are sitting ducks for the locals poor and weak with nothing to lose or those with connections and resources that want to extract a pound of flesh from you.

Take the recent archetypal story of an angry ex-GF who doesn't want to say goodbye. Expelling her from your hotel from which your will disappear in a matter of hours or days without a trace is a breeze. If its your permanent residence? That's a whole new ballgame. And a potentially dangerous one in a country where you essentially have no rights as we would expect them in the west. I think having an expensive late model vehicle, throwing money around and living large locally would put oneself at the most risk. Wherever I lived there, if I did, I would do so very discreetly and I would play entirely elsewhere.

[Pantot]

Feel free to leave if you don't enjoy the company here. The doors wide open.

Nah. Just you and Ikky seem threatened by me for whatever reason. Its like high school gotcha! With you two. I don't miss it, thanks for the reminder.

Most of the the back and forth has been information sharing. All of the other interactions have been mature and pleasant.

[Dg8787]

Probably applies outside phils also.

I was going to say that it happens everywhere there is a dick. But I have heard of lesbians stalking the old GF too.