Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[GoodEnough]

Please do not delude yourselves that Filipinas, at least those from the cities, cannot figure out quickly, and reasonably accurately, the level of wealth of foreign men. There are lots of cues on which they are very quick to pick up: the type of restaurant to which you take them; the type of gifts you provide for them; your clothes and your clothing style; the types of drinks you order; the hotel in which you stay. All of these are, to them, reasonable predictors of degrees of wealth. Whether they accept you/stay with you depends on part, on whether they find that level acceptable.

The guys who don't have, or at least don't want to spend any money are not going to attract, for the most part, decently-educated, reasonably middle class Filipinas, at least not for long. They will have no trouble attracting poor girls, mostly uneducated, from the provinces, to whom even minimal luxuries represent reasonable improvements in their living standards. Here in Davao at least, if you're staying at the Marco Polo or one of the other good hotels, and you're taking the ladies to eat in European restaurants, you're going to have a much better success ratio with middle class women. This may not be an absolute law, but it's certainly true in most cases.

GE

[Gangles]

I do not understand the basis of this discussion.

In your own country, do you see well dressed women associating with deadbeats?

No.

Do you see poor women doing their best to hitch up with rich men?

Yes.

What is the difference?

As I see it, the difference is that in their own country, women can pretty quickly susss out the level of wealth of the man. This is not as easy as with a filipina in the Philippines with a poor falang, because the falang can afford to live relatively well and convey the impression of wealth for a period of time.

The pinay will try to get to western countries because these countries have a welfare system which will guarantee a standard of living which as far better than she can expect in the Philippines.

Also, our level or regulation, consumer protection, and law and order guarantees that she will be safe from predators.

What is the discussion?

Gangles

[Bob Down]

Man what is wrong with you?

I said I never see Filipinas with [CodeWord140] poor foreigners and if you don't know what [CodeWord140] poor is you are a lost cause. Dude are you an American? If not then I understand maybe you not knowing what [CodeWord140] poor means.

It means to be destitute or poor or have an average income dude.

Hi D,
I see myself as of average income, but do not consider myself as "[CodeWord140] poor".

Girls don't see you as [CodeWord140] poor they see you as able to travel thus having money. They have no understanding of how much money you really have.

[Bilbo Baggins]

It means to be destitute or poor or have an average income dude.

Damn I have a below average income I can't even make it to being [CodeWord140] poor. Maybe some girls like some guys for qualities other than money but in the Philippines I've still not tested that out next trip I'm not going to spend any money and see if they still love me.

[Warbucks]

So, you see [CodeWord140] poor foreigners with Filipinas and you see [CodeWord140] poor Filipinas with foreigners?

I'm not sure what your definition of "[CodeWord140] poor" is, and I'm not sure what your question is.

My answer to the question which I imagine you asked...yea, it's a strange world.

X

Man what is wrong with you?

I said I never see Filipinas with [CodeWord140] poor foreigners and if you don't know what [CodeWord140] poor is you are a lost cause. Dude are you an American? If not then I understand maybe you not knowing what [CodeWord140] poor means.

It means to be destitute or poor or have an average income dude.

[X Man]

AV, you are an enigma in your own mind.

X

I agree with what your GF/Partner said D'etat, Im no expert but what she said is my reading of the culture here. I think GE & Sammon & Bob Bowie (amongst others) made very good points in the negative on this debate cautioning against this practice of acting like a fiance & then pissing off. Xman & Mattrick (amongst others) made their points (which they are fully entitiled to) along the lines that they dont really care & enjoy the 'adventure' anyway.

Its good to have this debate so that newbie lurkers can maybe get an idea of what they are walking into if they care to know..
Cheers
AV

[X Man]

So, you see [CodeWord140] poor foreigners with Filipinas and you see [CodeWord140] poor Filipinas with foreigners?

I'm not sure what your definition of "[CodeWord140] poor" is, and I'm not sure what your question is.

My answer to the question which I imagine you asked...yea, it's a strange world.

X

Have any of you guys ever seen a Filipina with a [CodeWord140] poor foreigner? I always see some of the girls dating Filipino guys who have nothing. Is it all about the dough and visas when a foreigner is involved? I met my ole lady in Japan she was doing well when I met her. Working two jobs but still financially stable.

Also why do the foreigners seem to pick the low of the lot when it comes to choosing Asian women? Filipinos guys seem to know what to look for. While western guys get stuck with the gold diggers and visa runners.

I asked A Filipina about the whole meeting the parent’s thing. One close to me. My ole girl. She said if the girl pushes the guy then not a problem. But if he asks to then it’s something different. She said now and days some people do it but she doesn’t agree with it. She said the parents will expect more from the relationship (other then a wham bam thank you mam) if a guy is brought before them.

Keep in mind I am asking questions not proclaiming

Beware Of Dog

[Amavida]

hi d etat! since you have asked for opinions & im enjoying reading all these opinions i contribute from my perspective.

have any of you guys ever seen a filipina with a [CodeWord140] poor foreigner? i always see some of the girls dating filipino guys who have nothing.

yes i have, usually the poorer homely looking girls have lower standards. they will hitch their wagon to guys that, to our western eyes, are bottom of the barrel. our family has business's back home in australia. some of the low paid uneducated manual workers in our employment there have somehow scraped together an airfare & arrived here to tell lies & inseminate girls who have no ability to support a child. some of these guys are the dirtiest grubs with no personality but still they find victims..
on the other hand a mate of mine who was a pilot & retired here on a very handsome nest egg. he managed to blow the lot on [CodeWord140], women & idiotic 'business deals'. he eventually lost everything & arrived on my doorstep begging for a fare home so her could go back to australia & live off friends & relatives until he & his wife had enough money to eek out an existance on social security beneifts. throughout out all this, his long suffering pinay gf/wife stuck with him. she is still with him to this day back home in oz, going to work to support her 'retired' husband. i asked his wife "what happened?" she said to me "every day was a fiesta.."

is it all about the dough and visas when a foreigner is involved? i met my ole lady in japan she was doing well when i met her. working two jobs but still financially stable.

i think in the majority of cases yes it is primarily about a dream to escape poverty. many girls in my family & circle of friends marry & live happy lives with pinoy men. those that hook up with foreigners have generally already been with pinoy men & for some reason decided to cast their net further afield.
as a self made man im sure that you know that the law of the jungle applies here as everywhere else.

also why do the foreigners seem to pick the low of the lot when it comes to choosing asian women? filipinos guys seem to know what to look for. while western guys get stuck with the gold diggers and visa runners.

westerners that come here are either sent/come here on business or for vacation. the majority are on vacation. of those, most are sex tourists, lets face it. these guys arrive with a box of viagra in one hand & a fist full of dollars in the other. they usually have little or no understanding of the culture. many fall for the gfe of the women here and end up towing around girls that you & i may consider, less than ideal...

i asked a filipina about the whole meeting the parent’s thing... she said the parents will expect more from the relationship (other then a wham bam thank you mam) if a guy is brought before them.

i agree with what your gf/partner said d'etat, im no expert but what she said is my reading of the culture here. i think ge & sammon & bob bowie (amongst others) made very good points in the negative on this debate cautioning against this practice of acting like a fiance & then pissing off. xman & mattrick (amongst others) made their points (which they are fully entitiled to) along the lines that they dont really care & enjoy the 'adventure' anyway.

its good to have this debate so that newbie lurkers can maybe get an idea of what they are walking into if they care to know..
cheers
av

[Chocha Monger]

Have any of you guys ever seen a Filipina with a [CodeWord140] poor foreigner? I always see some of the girls dating Filipino guys who have nothing. Is it all about the dough and visas when a foreigner is involved? I met my ole lady in Japan she was doing well when I met her. Working two jobs but still financially stable.

Also why do the foreigners seem to pick the low of the lot when it comes to choosing Asian women? Filipinos guys seem to know what to look for. While western guys get stuck with the gold diggers and visa runners.

I've never seen Filipinas with [CodeWord140] poor foreigners. Most of them seem to choose men who can provide a reasonably comfortable life-style.

Yes. It is always about dough, visas or some other resource, status or privilege. This is not limited to Filipinas. Women worldwide simply don't fuck for "free", they never have and never will so don't let it upset you.

Perhaps, it is the Asian women doing the choosing not the Western men. A woman who has a lot to offer or who is considered a prize catch may not need to turn to Western men to get what she wants since desirable local suitors may be abundant.

[Warbucks]

Have any of you guys ever seen a Filipina with a [CodeWord140] poor foreigner? I always see some of the girls dating Filipino guys who have nothing. Is it all about the dough and visas when a foreigner is involved? I met my ole lady in Japan she was doing well when I met her. Working two jobs but still financially stable.

Also why do the foreigners seem to pick the low of the lot when it comes to choosing Asian women? Filipinos guys seem to know what to look for. While western guys get stuck with the gold diggers and visa runners.

I asked A Filipina about the whole meeting the parent’s thing. One close to me. My ole girl. She said if the girl pushes the guy then not a problem. But if he asks to then it’s something different. She said now and days some people do it but she doesn’t agree with it. She said the parents will expect more from the relationship (other then a wham bam thank you mam) if a guy is brought before them.

Keep in mind I am asking questions not proclaiming

Beware Of Dog

[GoodEnough]

Going to cock fights, meeting the parents, going to the local eateries...I guess it's all an adventure if you're on vacation. It's different though, if you actually live here, work here, make your home here. Then, the dirt, the poverty and other generally down market stuff is just something unpleasant and to be avoided. You probably wouldn't hang out at cock fights or shacks in your home country or at least I sure wouldn't and it's for the same reasons that I don't go looking for them here.

GE

[Buko Max]

You guys are amusing in your way of thinking. Setting ground rules for meeting family members? In my view it can be a privilege to meet relatives and friends of the women you pursue. They can only open up doors leading to having great experiences!

Why visit the Philippines? To stay in 4 or 5 star hotels rubbing elbows with other tourists? Attending weddings, cockfights, discos, parties, etc. can be very rewarding and prosperous. When I visit, I always try to meet as many people as possible.

Sounds like some of you are meeting the wrong kind of people. You need to circulate and see what comes up!

[Sammon]

Dear X man,
This is a forum for opinions and discussions. I am not offended by yours or anybody's reply.
PS. Rent a video so that you can watch with the whole family.- lol.

[X Man]

I think the consensus from most of the posters was that the negative aspects of meeting a woman's parents outweigh the advantages. Not everyone touched on the specific issue of whether meeting parents might create some expectation of marriage. I asked a few Filipinas and so far rec'd only one answer. This one from a college educated lady, early 20s, in Visayan region, did not grow up in a big city, but lives there now. I didn't meet her parents (but was invited) and I didn't get past first base. Here is her answer:

****
Well, it's my pleasure to answer your question...
Meeting Filipina's parents doesn't mean that you want to marry that girl maybe unless you had relationship (more than just a friend) towards that person and both of you decided already to got married...But it cannot be denied that before ,if a guy meets the parents of the one he loves,obviously he want to marry that girl...I think that was around 1970s-1980s..But it did not practiced as of now...We're modern now,so it's already accepted.
In fact we had a more Friends,boy or girl, welcome to our family..Where did you get that information?
So, your scared to meet my family because of that information???hehehehehe
Your cute...thank you for the question...
***

Hey, I got a compliment out of that question, so I will thank AV for bringing up such an interesting topic in the first place! Ha, ha, AV, I bet you never thought you would get a compliment from ME!

X

[X Man]

Well, Sammon, I have to keep up my reputation as a caustic prickly ass who will disagree with anyone and everything, I never once suspected that the family thought of me as an ATM. After all, they don't have ATM's up on the mountains.

Try to be more logical in your next post!

But I'm sorry if I misundertood your post (I've been "apologizing continually" according to the fan mail in my PM box).

X

PS, I don't watch National Geographic. Should I rent the video?

There are lot of pitfalls in meeting the family.

1. It is hard to refuse your lovely girls request to meet her family. But the truth is the whole family has heard of you and it is some kind of credit for the girl who has bagged a foreigner and she wants to prove to the family that you are real and you love her.

2. The family will size you up as a ATM strength. In reality not all the families are looking for money from you. some of them are really well off considering they own land and house and have been making a good living even before you came into their picture. Unfortunately Philippino people have large families and they cannot afford to send all to college to study. Even if they do there are very few job opportunities. Their main concern is if you take care of the girl they need not support her and can concentrate on other children.

3. Girls know very well that if they screw your brains out you are more likely to keep friendship and support her. Platonic relationships do not last long. Besides it is a physical, hormonal thing. If she does not have sex with you she is doing with somebody else who do not give anything. Very few cherry girls last long if they try to hold out for long.

4. Curiosity got the better of you as a cultural thing. Get a hold on yourself. It is not all that interesting to see how the people live. Watch National Geographic to get the feel. The more detached you are from the family the better for you even if you marry her.

5. If you are into feeling sorry for the people , donate to your charity. If you start donating to the family there will be no end.

6. Finally dating normal girls is good. It is a good dating experience like any other. You never know. Maybe you will marry her and have a good loving relationship. I believe very few people will actually seduce them and run away with no interest in helping the girls atleast a short time. Being honest will be good in this situation so that the girl will know what to expect and will be ready for the eventuality.