Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[Frequent Flier]

Sign a prenup and don't worry about the rest. Yes it is IRONCLAD and where is the gal gonna get the money to fight the family while the case is in probate? You guys kill me, it takes money to fight to get money, and if you are happy to give the cash to the little gal, set up a trust. She gets only so much per month and she can not go through the cash in one stroke. If the details are set up right in another country you have nothing to worry about. As for all the. 10 cent millionares out there, I am sure she will not be a big drain on the estate.

B. B.

Not sure of other countries, but this is true for the USA.

All you need is reasonable reason to sue and a lawyers belief or actual knowledge of enough money for it to be worth their time.

There are thousands of ambulance chasers out there that know it will be settled long before it goes to court and will be willing to take the case based on the chance of winning or really settling out of court.

No offense to any lawyers out there, but the goal is not to go to court for both lawyers. They get paid for doing less than half the case load most of the time. Plus, it is true that the preparation for trial and the actual trial portion is and will be the most expensive part. Other family members could easily see all that wealth coming their way reduced to very little trying to keep all or most of the money. Remember in the the USA you can sue a Ham Sandwich if you desire.

I have been on the receiving side of some ridiculous law suits that I had to settle to keep from going to court where it would have cost double the settlement.


FF

[FireWalker]

Oh yes! INC (love the acronym) is a very good business. Praise the lord ;)

INC is not an acronym, but yes the church is a great business to start. I think it is one that could be successful in PI.

[FireWalker]

Guys,

I need some advice.

My biggest problem is:

How can I date a girl, and tell her I just want one thing, and then meet another girl the next day?

What if the girl see's me with another girl?

What is the best way to let a girl know right away what the score is?

Just introduce yourself as "Mr. Butterfly". Even my regular girl calls me that lovingly.

[Bill Buxton]

Guys,

I need some advice.

My biggest problem is:

How can I date a girl, and tell her I just want one thing, and then meet another girl the next day?

What if the girl see's me with another girl?

What is the best way to let a girl know right away what the score is?

Let her know straight up whats up and could be she will try harder to make you happy. Please don't think the little princess has no idea you might do that already. I would worry about how many she has in line and protect yourself. Could be she will break your heart before you ever get close to hers.

B.B.

[Asheron]

Guys,

I need some advice.

My biggest problem is:

How can I date a girl, and tell her I just want one thing, and then meet another girl the next day?

What if the girl see's me with another girl?

What is the best way to let a girl know right away what the score is?

[Danny 2003]

I would like to unabashedly confess my stupidity for the sake of discussion and perhaps a lesson or two to be learned.

Like so many others here that admit it or not, I have on occasion barebacked a bar girl. I am not here to justify or condemn this practice, my story is to simply state the possible consequences of such actions.

This story begins with a bar girl named Veronica who I met at Nero’s Forum and had spent three consecutive days with. I reported briefly on this girl earlier in the Angeles section. Although she was fun and I genuinely enjoyed her company, she was getting too attached too quickly so I stopped seeing her.

Fast forward three and a half weeks later.

I went to Nero’s one night and there she is, she looks great, is no longer pouting and is actually a lot of fun so I barfine her. We got a bite to eat at Kokomo’s and we were both having a great time, that is, until she rather nonchalantly tells me she is pregnant and I am (of course) the father! To say that this put a damper on the evening would be a complete understatement!

She tells me that she took a pregnancy test a few days earlier with the help of her housekeeper, (why a housekeeper’s advice is trusted and revered is beyond me). Now, keep in mind that even on my short trip I had seen so many single mothers in Angeles City with no support from the fathers, either foreign or Filipino. Although to be fair, it may be possible under these situations that a foreigner father doesn’t even know he has sired a child. However, the end result is still the same, a single mother that is dirt poor raising a child in an overpopulated third world country. I always said to myself that I would never be one of those guys that consciously abandoned a child or a pregnant mother; I had the simple desire to do the right thing, whatever that might be.

As my head was still spinning with all of these revelations, she then informs me that she took a drug called Cytotec the day before, which from what I understand, is a medication for stomach ulcers that has a certain nasty side effect that will make a pregnant woman have a spontaneous miscarriage. I believe this drug is commonly used by bar girls as an abortion pill.

I came up with a plan, the next morning we would find a doctor; get a real informed opinion on her alleged pregnancy and her medical condition if she really did take some kind of abortion pill. I wanted to be able to make decisions based on facts and not just the word and speculation of a bar girl and her housekeeper. For my part, I would of course pay for any medical bills regardless of the outcome or the diagnosis and I reassured her that I would be there with her from beginning to end. I thought this was a great plan, that is, until she flatly refused to go!

She gave some story about she was afraid of doctors and blah, blah, blah. So here I was faced with this situation where I was determined to do the right thing but was at the total mercy of this girl. Thus began one of the worst days of my life with me trying to reason with a young girl with the mentality of an immature five year old. I tried to reason with her, tried to be the good guy, tried to be the bad guy but she just wouldn’t budge. Finally after about 10 hours of this nonsense she said she wanted to go see her mother in Manila where she promised she would see a doctor. At this point, this idea seemed the best way for me to simply wash my hands of this situation; let her mother deal with this. So I gave her 7,000 pesos to go home and get the help she needed. I of course realize that this whole story could have been a fabrication from the start, but for me the 7,000 pesos eased my conscience to some degree for the slim possibility that she could have been telling the truth.

She did return a few days later with a story of going to the doctor who gave the diagnosis that she was no longer pregnant and there were no ill effects of her taking this Cytotic. The doctor prescribed some medication and said she would be fine, the doctor and pharmacy bills conveniently cost the amount of what I gave her. I did not want to have anything to do with her so I kept her at a distance the rest of my time in Angeles despite her numerous calls and text messages.

In looking back at this I can say that I handled this situation rather poorly, clearly there would be a lot of things I would do differently if I could. Upon reflection, I don’t think she was ever pregnant, I believe she made up this story for one or more of the following reasons:

1. She wanted a foreigner boyfriend and this was some psychotic way to trap one.

2. She wanted attention. She was queen for a day when she found a sucker like me!

3. She wanted a moneyko. That is, this was all a ruse to get some money out of some poor sap who didn’t know any better. In my case, it worked.

4. She was bored and I made for some good entertainment, plus she had a great story to tell all of her girlfriends back at the bar.

If only I had worn that condom.

Sagramore, I like to read some of your reports even I'm not very good to speak in english at least I understand some of the story! Thats true. Many single mothers there in ac but most of theor Filipino bf only. They always think that story to get more extra money. Actually I won't beleive any of bar girls about that. Except, shes a normal girls. I mean she gave you the first time (virgin). Anyway thanks for your report.

[Pute Nut]

I can imagine the cars and houses these people that run the church drive around in.

Oh yes! INC (love the acronym) is a very good business. Praise the lord ;)

[Bill Buxton]

#2 in Soju's post is something ALL OF US NEED TO READ AND RE-READ!

I have found this thinking to be quite prevelant here. Many YOUNG filipina. Read those under 25 (say) REALLY WANT A MUCH OLDER FOREIGNER

To MARRY, preferable a guy in his fifties or even sixiteis, the reason is that they got maybe ten years (like an indentured servitude) with Pops until he croaks and leaves them the money/assets in a foreign land (USA? ), then they are young enough to go find another guy their age or return to their Filipino paramour and live well.

As I write this I am preparing to leave Moalboal, I plan a trip report this week, but I ran across one little place that was built by a Foreigner 12 years ago, guy died a few years back, (heart attack) the widow married a younger Filipino .

Be careful of this in Thailand, sometimes they kill you (drug overdose).

Spamhog

Sign a prenup and don't worry about the rest. Yes it is IRONCLAD and where is the gal gonna get the money to fight the family while the case is in probate? You guys kill me, it takes money to fight to get money, and if you are happy to give the cash to the little gal, set up a trust. She gets only so much per month and she can not go through the cash in one stroke. If the details are set up right in another country you have nothing to worry about. As for all the. 10 cent millionares out there, I am sure she will not be a big drain on the estate.

B. B.

[Girlfinder]

I can imagine the cars and houses these people that run the church drive around in.

Hehe....is that what everybody try to achieve in all kinds of work...

But back to topic, I guess they are "forced" to stay into their religion. I also once tried to discuss this with my girl but she wouldn't understand. Belief is really what keeps them up there and gives them a hope, I think. Pls tell what you decide - and good luck,

GF

[Tungsten Chef]

My girlfriend is a member of Iglesia Ni Cristo. The parents and her would love the vows to be exchanged in the church. I'm not a religious person at all. I've been reading up on their beliefs and ways and to tell you the truth, I'm not to fond of converting. I know it don't make sense, but I was thinking of becoming a member just so she can have a nice wedding with all her friends and relatives in attendance.

The worst thing I noticed about this religion is that you cannot marry someone of a different faith, if you do you are never allowed back in the church again. What a crock!! They really love her money when she attends, but once married to a non Cristo, she's out. That's the thanks you get?? Not much of a choice either, unless the significant other you meet will become the same denomination. Cristo really seems like they run the show too much. Persuading you who to vote for and you cannot be a member of a labor union. I know a co-worker here, he actually gives them 10% of his salary per month. Gee, my lord never asks for money. Isn't a few coins after the service good enough?? I can imagine the cars and houses these people that run the church drive around in.

A civil wedding looks the best for us. I don't want to go to no bible study for 25 days, then being baptized at my age. I just want to be who I am. I know the family will agree to a civil wedding, it's just it really has to be a secret. No friends, no relatives. The church finds out she's married, she can never go back. Not much of a wedding if you ask me. Why does religion have to so strict when all we want is to be happy. P.s. yes I know it's mainly a Phil religion.

[Girlfinder]

Thanks for your very interesting views on the different pitfalls and what to look for.
GF

[Eaglestar]

I lived in Manila for seven years and saw all of what all of you are saying. It is all true and more.

I was in a hotel one day and happened to sit with a young (20 something) black American man. He told me a hell of a story.

He met a Filipina in one of the chat rooms and she charmed him. They chatted for weeks and months and he began to send money to her. She promised to marry him when he came.

Well, when he showed up at the airport there was a man holding a sign with his name. Thinking she had arranged a car for him he approached the sign carrying man and introduced himself. The man told him, "I am XXXX's husband and she does not want to see you".

The guy left Manila the day after I talked with him

Beware guys! Make it sex only.

ES

[Spam Hog]

I totally agree with Spamhog. I can give two examples I've seen first hand in my own travels that also might open your eyes.

1. I brought a girl once from Angeles to Manila (yes I know that is like taking sand to the beach) and for the entire weekend she was texting and receiving overseas calls from her 7 (yes seven) boyfriends. She was upfront about what she was doing as I was pretty honest too and told her I didn't care about her significant others. She even let me read her texts and oh man, she had them all strung along pretty good. She should have won an Academy Award.

2. Once while taking a taxi ride in Manila, I noticed several photos in the taxi of a young Filipina with an older Western gentleman and their kid. Just to make conversation I asked the driver if that was his sister. He replied that it was his girlfriend and she was married to a guy in the UK. They have been together since high school and both agreed she should get married to an older foreigner with a lot of money so that when he died they could be together with the funds she would inherit. He said he had no problem waiting for her since they figured the husband wouldn't even last 10 years because of his age and health and by the time they were in their 30's they'd be together again with a big bank account. This totally shocked me but I'm so thankful for the insight of how deceiptful and treacherous some people are. I know this is probably the exception and not the norm, but it should give anyone pause before looking to a third world country for your mate.

#2 in Soju's post is something ALL OF US NEED TO READ AND RE-READ!!!!

I have found this thinking to be quite prevelant here. Many YOUNG filipina...read those under 25 (say) REALLY WANT A MUCH OLDER FOREIGNER
to MARRY, preferable a guy in his fifties or even sixiteis, the reason is that they got maybe ten years (like an indentured servitude) with Pops until he croaks and leaves them the money/assets in a foreign land (USA?), then they
are young enough to go find another guy their age or return to their Filipino paramour and live well.

As I write this I am preparing to leave Moalboal, I plan a trip report this week, but I ran across one little place that was built by a Foreigner 12 years ago, guy died a few years back,(heart attack) the widow married a younger Filipino.

Be careful of this in THAILAND, sometimes they kill you (drug overdose).

Spamhog

[Soju Lizard]

I totally agree with Spamhog. I can give two examples I've seen first hand in my own travels that also might open your eyes.

1. I brought a girl once from Angeles to Manila (yes I know that is like taking sand to the beach) and for the entire weekend she was texting and receiving overseas calls from her 7 (yes seven) boyfriends. She was upfront about what she was doing as I was pretty honest too and told her I didn't care about her significant others. She even let me read her texts and oh man, she had them all strung along pretty good. She should have won an Academy Award.

2. Once while taking a taxi ride in Manila, I noticed several photos in the taxi of a young Filipina with an older Western gentleman and their kid. Just to make conversation I asked the driver if that was his sister. He replied that it was his girlfriend and she was married to a guy in the UK. They have been together since high school and both agreed she should get married to an older foreigner with a lot of money so that when he died they could be together with the funds she would inherit. He said he had no problem waiting for her since they figured the husband wouldn't even last 10 years because of his age and health and by the time they were in their 30's they'd be together again with a big bank account. This totally shocked me but I'm so thankful for the insight of how deceiptful and treacherous some people are. I know this is probably the exception and not the norm, but it should give anyone pause before looking to a third world country for your mate.

First I'm glad that my thoughts helped "save" someone from further dismay in a bad relationship.

Second, if you follow some of my postings, you will know that I CONSTANTLY preach against Thai women for anything other than a purely sexual relationship. I lived in LOS for awhile, I speak the Language rather well and this of course colored my opinion. But I have found them to be especially deceitful, secretive etc., THEY DID NOT LIKE THE FACT I SPOKE THEIR LANGUAGE!!!! This applies MORESO to "regular girls" than bar girls.

Now to answer your questions:

Women are women no matter where you go, I find women to be more secretive in general about their past due to societal standards.

1. Filipina seem to be more honest than Thai (and some other Asian women, Malay, Chinese Viets). This does not mean that they will not BS you. The very first Filipina to break my heart (awwwwwww) was a doozy. she was well employed in Taiwan, working there under a false passport, already married in the Phils and looking for a sucker to get her back to the Phils gratis (me) almost anyway, found her out. Point I'm trying to make is that Phil ladies are like any other, (see societal standards) which intheir case mandates a women should be a virginuntil married, chaste otherwise and "maria Clara-like)
Maria Clara being a demure Spanish lady the Epitome of Purity peity etc.

I see plenty of examples of deceitful Filipina, MOST OF THEM ARE BAR GIRLS.

2. Web dating is only a source to meet them, you have to come here to the Phils and see them to determine what they are REALLY LIKE, I don't think the web site matters, you have to concentrate on WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ONCE YOU MEET THEM ONLINE. After a few chats you will probably see what type of person they are. If they start talking about money, flush 'em. If the say things like "I love, you, I want to be yours and yours alone, you are the only man in my life." etc etc. Flush 'em.

I personally beleive the best way to find a "good one" comes from somebody who recommends her, (This is how I met Mrs Spamhog) knows a bit about her background etc.

3. there are a number of way to "TEST" her, I think I've mentioned before I used to do background checks in conjunction with a PI agency, (I dont anymore please dont ask).

You can "Test" her online real easy, I used to get phony Yahoo ID's (just like they do). Some were really funny, I used to use names of Notorious American outlaws like "William H. Bonney" "Clyde Barrow" etc. I would then chat with her under this alias and see what she said, compare it with what she told the client, or if she would ask for money etc.

Sometimes I would hit her with ..."I'm going to be in (your city) next week, can we meet?" Almost every time I would get a "yes". A few from Women who were engaged etc. You can do this yourself or get one of your friends to using an alias to go online with her, send here a pix etc. Now I would do this ONLY in a situation where you have a "committed" relationship, someone you just met on the internet is not going to have the commitment to you nor should you hold them to such a standard to "wait for you". Basically who ever is first in is gonna get it.

You really have to check out her status once you get here, hanging around her neighborhood will tell you a lot. filipino's love to gossip and repeat "Estorias" so you could ask around or have someone ask around on your behalf about her, Yes you can hire a PI to do an extensive background.

Your biggest concerns are that she is NOT a card holding (GRO) prostitute/bar girl. Not a Criminal or Shabu head (drug addict) Does not have a committed relationship with a Filipino BF (or married!) and not working the internet solely for money.

If she has a lot of internet chatmates and even has met one or two before and it didn't work out don't hold it against her. A "good one" will tell you this (as you should tell her).


Spamhog

[Catmonger]

Yes, my experience with Thai ladies is that they are very deceptive. I was not looking for a Thai wife anymore -or anyone- when my buddy and his Thai wife told me about her. I was celebate for a couple years before getting back in the game, so to speak.

I felt ready and was considering Pinoy possibilities when I was given the Thai lady's phone number. Nuf said, lesson learned, and brothers be warned. This girl was smooth as baby diarrhea and had this veteran hound out of his socks. And that aint like me.

I have very little guile by nature and know this, so that's why I asked for the collective wisdom here. Advice here can be very sound in my experience, even beyond P4P tips and tricks. I'll spend time researching here and elsewhere so when I've learned whatever I'm supposed to learn -I wont need to be alone.