Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[Spam Hog]

This was just what I needed to read. This site saved me from another bogus "nice lady".

"Second, the MOST IMPORTANT is she was totally honest with me, withheld nothing about her past, present etc, details about her relationships and her integrity was PROVEN to me in a number of ways. She had to earn my trust, and beleive me I checked and tested it. But she also taught me a few lessons about honesty so that for one of the first times in my life I was totally honest with a woman, she didn't like some of what she heard but she accepted it and also vice versa. "
-Spam Hog

I tried so hard to be sure she knew that honesty was vital, and she agreed. I tried to keep my eyes open and saw a LOAD of BS after some time. But not before she got her hooks in me deep, I love(d?) her very much. This is a Thai lady. Someone I've known for years introduced us too. This lady being soo deceptive caught me completely off-guard brothers.

So be warned, Thai ladies can make you believe anything they want. And I thought I'd been around the block enough to see this coming.

So my P4P days are over and I still want an open, honest relationship to wind out my life. My burning questions;

1) Are Pinoys more honest -as I've read before
2) Where do you look, and NOT look ie; web dating
3) How do you guys "test" their honesty?

First I'm glad that my thoughts helped "save" someone from further dismay in a bad relationship.

Second, if you follow some of my postings, you will know that I CONSTANTLY preach against Thai women for anything other than a purely sexual relationship. I lived in LOS for awhile, I speak the Language rather well and this of course colored my opinion. But I have found them to be especially deceitful, secretive etc., THEY DID NOT LIKE THE FACT I SPOKE THEIR LANGUAGE!!!! This applies MORESO to "regular girls" than bar girls.

Now to answer your questions:

Women are women no matter where you go, I find women to be more secretive in general about their past due to societal standards.

1. Filipina seem to be more honest than Thai (and some other Asian women, Malay, Chinese Viets). This does not mean that they will not BS you. The very first Filipina to break my heart (awwwwwww) was a doozy. she was well employed in Taiwan, working there under a false passport, already married in the Phils and looking for a sucker to get her back to the Phils gratis (me) almost anyway, found her out. Point I'm trying to make is that Phil ladies are like any other, (see societal standards) which intheir case mandates a women should be a virginuntil married, chaste otherwise and "maria Clara-like)
Maria Clara being a demure Spanish lady the Epitome of Purity peity etc.

I see plenty of examples of deceitful Filipina, MOST OF THEM ARE BAR GIRLS.

2. Web dating is only a source to meet them, you have to come here to the Phils and see them to determine what they are REALLY LIKE, I don't think the web site matters, you have to concentrate on WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ONCE YOU MEET THEM ONLINE. After a few chats you will probably see what type of person they are. If they start talking about money, flush 'em. If the say things like "I love, you, I want to be yours and yours alone, you are the only man in my life." etc etc. Flush 'em.

I personally beleive the best way to find a "good one" comes from somebody who recommends her, (This is how I met Mrs Spamhog) knows a bit about her background etc.

3. there are a number of way to "TEST" her, I think I've mentioned before I used to do background checks in conjunction with a PI agency, (I dont anymore please dont ask).

You can "Test" her online real easy, I used to get phony Yahoo ID's (just like they do). Some were really funny, I used to use names of Notorious American outlaws like "William H. Bonney" "Clyde Barrow" etc. I would then chat with her under this alias and see what she said, compare it with what she told the client, or if she would ask for money etc.

Sometimes I would hit her with ..."I'm going to be in (your city) next week, can we meet?" Almost every time I would get a "yes". A few from Women who were engaged etc. You can do this yourself or get one of your friends to using an alias to go online with her, send here a pix etc. Now I would do this ONLY in a situation where you have a "committed" relationship, someone you just met on the internet is not going to have the commitment to you nor should you hold them to such a standard to "wait for you". Basically who ever is first in is gonna get it.

You really have to check out her status once you get here, hanging around her neighborhood will tell you a lot. filipino's love to gossip and repeat "Estorias" so you could ask around or have someone ask around on your behalf about her, Yes you can hire a PI to do an extensive background.

Your biggest concerns are that she is NOT a card holding (GRO) prostitute/bar girl. Not a Criminal or Shabu head (drug addict) Does not have a committed relationship with a Filipino BF (or married!) and not working the internet solely for money.

If she has a lot of internet chatmates and even has met one or two before and it didn't work out don't hold it against her. A "good one" will tell you this (as you should tell her).


Spamhog

[Catmonger]

This was just what I needed to read. This site saved me from another bogus "nice lady".

"Second, the MOST IMPORTANT is she was totally honest with me, withheld nothing about her past, present etc, details about her relationships and her integrity was PROVEN to me in a number of ways. She had to earn my trust, and beleive me I checked and tested it. But she also taught me a few lessons about honesty so that for one of the first times in my life I was totally honest with a woman, she didn't like some of what she heard but she accepted it and also vice versa. "
-Spam Hog

I tried so hard to be sure she knew that honesty was vital, and she agreed. I tried to keep my eyes open and saw a LOAD of BS after some time. But not before she got her hooks in me deep, I love(d?) her very much. This is a Thai lady. Someone I've known for years introduced us too. This lady being soo deceptive caught me completely off-guard brothers.

So be warned, Thai ladies can make you believe anything they want. And I thought I'd been around the block enough to see this coming.

So my P4P days are over and I still want an open, honest relationship to wind out my life. My burning questions;

1) Are Pinoys more honest -as I've read before
2) Where do you look, and NOT look ie; web dating
3) How do you guys "test" their honesty?

[Fastpiston]

I would like to unabashedly confess my stupidity for the sake of discussion and perhaps a lesson or two to be learned.

Like so many others here that admit it or not, I have on occasion barebacked a bar girl. I am not here to justify or condemn this practice, my story is to simply state the possible consequences of such actions.

This story begins with a bar girl named Veronica who I met at Nero’s Forum and had spent three consecutive days with. I reported briefly on this girl earlier in the Angeles section. Although she was fun and I genuinely enjoyed her company, she was getting too attached too quickly so I stopped seeing her.

Fast forward three and a half weeks later.

I went to Nero’s one night and there she is, she looks great, is no longer pouting and is actually a lot of fun so I barfine her. We got a bite to eat at Kokomo’s and we were both having a great time, that is, until she rather nonchalantly tells me she is pregnant and I am (of course) the father! To say that this put a damper on the evening would be a complete understatement!

She tells me that she took a pregnancy test a few days earlier with the help of her housekeeper, (why a housekeeper’s advice is trusted and revered is beyond me). Now, keep in mind that even on my short trip I had seen so many single mothers in Angeles City with no support from the fathers, either foreign or Filipino. Although to be fair, it may be possible under these situations that a foreigner father doesn’t even know he has sired a child. However, the end result is still the same, a single mother that is dirt poor raising a child in an overpopulated third world country. I always said to myself that I would never be one of those guys that consciously abandoned a child or a pregnant mother; I had the simple desire to do the right thing, whatever that might be.

As my head was still spinning with all of these revelations, she then informs me that she took a drug called Cytotec the day before, which from what I understand, is a medication for stomach ulcers that has a certain nasty side effect that will make a pregnant woman have a spontaneous miscarriage. I believe this drug is commonly used by bar girls as an abortion pill.

I came up with a plan, the next morning we would find a doctor; get a real informed opinion on her alleged pregnancy and her medical condition if she really did take some kind of abortion pill. I wanted to be able to make decisions based on facts and not just the word and speculation of a bar girl and her housekeeper. For my part, I would of course pay for any medical bills regardless of the outcome or the diagnosis and I reassured her that I would be there with her from beginning to end. I thought this was a great plan, that is, until she flatly refused to go!

She gave some story about she was afraid of doctors and blah, blah, blah. So here I was faced with this situation where I was determined to do the right thing but was at the total mercy of this girl. Thus began one of the worst days of my life with me trying to reason with a young girl with the mentality of an immature five year old. I tried to reason with her, tried to be the good guy, tried to be the bad guy but she just wouldn’t budge. Finally after about 10 hours of this nonsense she said she wanted to go see her mother in Manila where she promised she would see a doctor. At this point, this idea seemed the best way for me to simply wash my hands of this situation; let her mother deal with this. So I gave her 7,000 pesos to go home and get the help she needed. I of course realize that this whole story could have been a fabrication from the start, but for me the 7,000 pesos eased my conscience to some degree for the slim possibility that she could have been telling the truth.

She did return a few days later with a story of going to the doctor who gave the diagnosis that she was no longer pregnant and there were no ill effects of her taking this Cytotic. The doctor prescribed some medication and said she would be fine, the doctor and pharmacy bills conveniently cost the amount of what I gave her. I did not want to have anything to do with her so I kept her at a distance the rest of my time in Angeles despite her numerous calls and text messages.

In looking back at this I can say that I handled this situation rather poorly, clearly there would be a lot of things I would do differently if I could. Upon reflection, I don’t think she was ever pregnant, I believe she made up this story for one or more of the following reasons:

1. She wanted a foreigner boyfriend and this was some psychotic way to trap one.

2. She wanted attention. She was queen for a day when she found a sucker like me!

3. She wanted a moneyko. That is, this was all a ruse to get some money out of some poor sap who didn’t know any better. In my case, it worked.

4. She was bored and I made for some good entertainment, plus she had a great story to tell all of her girlfriends back at the bar.

If only I had worn that condom.

Believe me,this is a very very old trick the girls in the Phils often try and is a scam for a quick buck. Your forum posting is similar to many others that have appeared. Best drop the girl and move on. If you really feel emotional about it then:

1) Tell her no discussion, you must go to a doctor with her. If she really is pregnant, ask the doctor when the baby birth is expected. Work back nine months and see if you were penetrating her at that time. If she is not pregnant or if the timing does not coincide with you penetrating her, tell her to take a hike.

2) If the date is not clear, or if she says she has a kid that is yours, take a few hair samples and send them with yours to a DNA test company in the US. If they do not match, it is best if she goes back to her Filipino or other foreigner who got into her and seeded her.

You obviously fell for the scam at a much earlier stage.

[Sagramore]

I would like to unabashedly confess my stupidity for the sake of discussion and perhaps a lesson or two to be learned.

Like so many others here that admit it or not, I have on occasion barebacked a bar girl. I am not here to justify or condemn this practice, my story is to simply state the possible consequences of such actions.

This story begins with a bar girl named Veronica who I met at Nero’s Forum and had spent three consecutive days with. I reported briefly on this girl earlier in the Angeles section. Although she was fun and I genuinely enjoyed her company, she was getting too attached too quickly so I stopped seeing her.

Fast forward three and a half weeks later.

I went to Nero’s one night and there she is, she looks great, is no longer pouting and is actually a lot of fun so I barfine her. We got a bite to eat at Kokomo’s and we were both having a great time, that is, until she rather nonchalantly tells me she is pregnant and I am (of course) the father! To say that this put a damper on the evening would be a complete understatement!

She tells me that she took a pregnancy test a few days earlier with the help of her housekeeper, (why a housekeeper’s advice is trusted and revered is beyond me). Now, keep in mind that even on my short trip I had seen so many single mothers in Angeles City with no support from the fathers, either foreign or Filipino. Although to be fair, it may be possible under these situations that a foreigner father doesn’t even know he has sired a child. However, the end result is still the same, a single mother that is dirt poor raising a child in an overpopulated third world country. I always said to myself that I would never be one of those guys that consciously abandoned a child or a pregnant mother; I had the simple desire to do the right thing, whatever that might be.

As my head was still spinning with all of these revelations, she then informs me that she took a drug called Cytotec the day before, which from what I understand, is a medication for stomach ulcers that has a certain nasty side effect that will make a pregnant woman have a spontaneous miscarriage. I believe this drug is commonly used by bar girls as an abortion pill.

I came up with a plan, the next morning we would find a doctor; get a real informed opinion on her alleged pregnancy and her medical condition if she really did take some kind of abortion pill. I wanted to be able to make decisions based on facts and not just the word and speculation of a bar girl and her housekeeper. For my part, I would of course pay for any medical bills regardless of the outcome or the diagnosis and I reassured her that I would be there with her from beginning to end. I thought this was a great plan, that is, until she flatly refused to go!

She gave some story about she was afraid of doctors and blah, blah, blah. So here I was faced with this situation where I was determined to do the right thing but was at the total mercy of this girl. Thus began one of the worst days of my life with me trying to reason with a young girl with the mentality of an immature five year old. I tried to reason with her, tried to be the good guy, tried to be the bad guy but she just wouldn’t budge. Finally after about 10 hours of this nonsense she said she wanted to go see her mother in Manila where she promised she would see a doctor. At this point, this idea seemed the best way for me to simply wash my hands of this situation; let her mother deal with this. So I gave her 7,000 pesos to go home and get the help she needed. I of course realize that this whole story could have been a fabrication from the start, but for me the 7,000 pesos eased my conscience to some degree for the slim possibility that she could have been telling the truth.

She did return a few days later with a story of going to the doctor who gave the diagnosis that she was no longer pregnant and there were no ill effects of her taking this Cytotic. The doctor prescribed some medication and said she would be fine, the doctor and pharmacy bills conveniently cost the amount of what I gave her. I did not want to have anything to do with her so I kept her at a distance the rest of my time in Angeles despite her numerous calls and text messages.

In looking back at this I can say that I handled this situation rather poorly, clearly there would be a lot of things I would do differently if I could. Upon reflection, I don’t think she was ever pregnant, I believe she made up this story for one or more of the following reasons:

1. She wanted a foreigner boyfriend and this was some psychotic way to trap one.

2. She wanted attention. She was queen for a day when she found a sucker like me!

3. She wanted a moneyko. That is, this was all a ruse to get some money out of some poor sap who didn’t know any better. In my case, it worked.

4. She was bored and I made for some good entertainment, plus she had a great story to tell all of her girlfriends back at the bar.

If only I had worn that condom.

[Bill Buxton]

You can get cheep flights out of clark Angeles for singapore. Tiger airways for 20 u.s.dollars one way.I know because I booked online for that price.Do some checking and you can travel for cheep money from the P.I.

B.B.

[Girlfinder]

I have been corresponding to an employed philipina (with a child) for about 2 years. I don"t have time on this trip to go to Manila to meet her. She is an employed girl, but always short of money. She had asked me to send her money twice, and I had refused.
..Steven

Hope you have had time to be in Manila, if not you might miss some important :)

Some of my experiences: I had contact with a girl for 3 years. Last time we met, I bought here expensive cellphone as a gift. Back home I asked her for a small favour in Manila, but she could not do without more money. Even I knew she was earning some, she obviously wasn't willing to "invest" in me. After that I cut all contact, although she keep sending me 5-6 mails and phones me 3-4 times back home.

Lesson? They really are proffs in asking money. Test out if she will invest in you before you get to much involved.

BTW, I have another one now beeing "so in love with me". Cherrygirl stopped working in bar, after I gav here a quite nice present. She want me to meet her family and all that. I realize this could be her way "out of hell". For me a temptation so hard to resist, wondering which head shall decide my actions...

Ok, what I mean, go to Manila as soon as possible, have fun, live life !

[1Ball]

Muf, Spam makes some valid points. There is a way around things, which is to buy an electronic ticket with your credit card, in such a manner that it is only refundable to your own credit card account. Then of course, make sure she is fully aware of that situation. That said, she might have problems entering SIN without a sufficient amount of cash in her wallet, so you might have to send her that, in addition to the passport money, and departure tax. When all is said and done, that might be all she is looking for, and she is onto the next guy. OR, she shows up, and you have a great time.

Many girls spend their whole day, or night online, chatting up guys, and look at it as a long term investment. Remember, all they need is to clear about 100-150US$ per month to make it worth their while. So if they are in chat rooms, meeting new guys on a regular basis, then they can get one or two guys to send 100$ in a month, they are netting more than if they were waitresses, or worse, factory workers.

I met a girl in Thailand who had a small book full of guys names, their birthdates, names of kids, what their jobs were, when was the last time they met, name of hotel they stayed in, restaurants they went to, so when she chatted with them, she could refer to all the fun things they had done on the guys last visit. this girl was good, and pulled in about 700-800US$ a month, and rarely had to get on her back, except when one of her guys came into town.

So, it could very well be all she is looking for is the money necessary to make it look good for customs at SIN. if you send her 200$ for customs, 100$ for a passport, and 30$ departure tax, she has done well.

Not trying to flame, I actually hope it works out, just throwing it out there for thoughts and comments.

[X Man]

SH has brought up some points that surely disappoint you -- despite their validity.

Nevertheless, I have a buddy who sent a bar girl money for air fare to Thailand. (He had met her face-to-face / genital-to-genital). One of the list's legends - Cebu Local - suggested the chances of her showing up were extraordinarily slim.

It was a happy ending. She showed up. And it's likely he's in Cebu now bonking her once again.

X

[Spam Hog]

I have been corresponding to an employed philipina (with a child) for about 2 years. I don"t have time on this trip to go to Manila to meet her. She is an employed girl, but always short of money. She had asked me to send her money twice, and I had refused.

I have met her and seen her on camera on many occassions on MSN or Yahoo chat, after setting up a chat date. But, I have not physically met her.

She is willing to meet me on my next trip to Singapore, as my trip is only 4 days long. She has agreed to stay with me while in Singapore as it would cost me nothing for her stay other than her meals and the plane ticket.

What are the pitfalls of this reunion(!) in Singapore? What are your esteemed warnings?

Steven

Lemme see here if I got this right, sweetie works in MANILA(?) And wants you to send her plane fare (GOT to be round trip under Phil Law.) and cover the cost of her trip to Singapore after asking you several times for supplemental income? Does she have a passport? No? Gonna cost you about $100 Us for that, then she needs about $30 to leave the country, then some spending money for entry fee to Singapore plus cab fare hmmm, this is kinda adding up here. So to buy this "pig in a poke" sorry no pun intended, your going to lay out about $700-800 US, with no guarentee she is going to show.
If she Does show, suppose you dont like her in person or shes a lousy lay? Now you are saddled with this woman who you dont really like and doesn't suck a dick or something and brother, Singapore loaded with frisky sexy women, Thais, Loads of Filipina maids, cute little Malays and aloof but horny as hell Singa CHinese.

Something you better realize about Singapore, THEY SCRUTINIZE LONE FEMALES ENTERING THE COUNTRY, if she dont have a work permit and she cant open her purse and show credit cards, travelers checks and a lot of money, they WILL KICK HER OUT. I HAVE SEEN THIS!!!!!!!! I used to regularly take the flight from BKK to Singa and they would waylay Thai girls and give 'em the third degree, sometimes they would refuse entry, same with Filipinas. WHY?

Well Freelancers come in to Sing close to the weekend, go hit Geylang or the Orchid towers (4 floors of *****s as we used to say) or work the hotels and make big bucks humping all the rich businessmen then high tail it back to Jungleland.

Im just telling you the pit falls thats all.

Im NOT saying she will be a no show but Vegas odds makers say she comes up with a sick kid at the last minute and can't make it...sorry about your plane fare, spent it on a Doctor. Rule of thumb is you never give 'em money unless you've met them face to face, know something about them, where they live, size 'em up AND, most important: YOU LIKE HER.


Good luck

Also SIngapore is Expensive, taking a companion around is gonna get pricey.

Spamhog

[Muf Diver]

I have been corresponding to an employed philipina (with a child) for about 2 years. I don"t have time on this trip to go to Manila to meet her. She is an employed girl, but always short of money. She had asked me to send her money twice, and I had refused.

I have met her and seen her on camera on many occassions on MSN or Yahoo chat, after setting up a chat date. But, I have not physically met her.

She is willing to meet me on my next trip to Singapore, as my trip is only 4 days long. She has agreed to stay with me while in Singapore as it would cost me nothing for her stay other than her meals and the plane ticket.

What are the pitfalls of this reunion(!) in Singapore? What are your esteemed warnings?

Steven

[Spam Hog]

I recently sent a few introductory messages to Cherry Blossom girls, without knowing that the girls were actually Pinoys working in BKK. Almost ALL of the Pinoys responded back and said that they are teachers or they are in education in BKK.

Could this be true? Or are they in BKK illegally (overstayed tourist visa?) and freelancing? Does Thailand need that many Pinoy educators?

Does anyone have any experience in dealing with the Pinoys in BKK?

May be this is not the right forum to ask this question. But, I will attempt another post in Thailand forum as well.

MD

Yes one can find Pinay is LOS, and just about every other Asia country,(Hk and Malaysia is loaded with 'em) Yes they do teach school, the Phils produced truckloads of teachers as well as nurses, the two skilled professions primarily expated. I lived in Phuket and there was a school that acredited TESL and gave them the cert they needed. The Thais are eager to learn English as that is a mark of intelligence and a better job.

I honestly didn't pay much attention to Filipinas in LOS, too busy with the local variety, never heard of 'em "flatbacking" for extra income, not to say they might not. Anyhow, look under general thread where another member and I got into a theoretical discussion over the merits of importing poon to LOS, I don't think it would fly, to many local pros.

regards

Spamhog

[Jambo]

Yes, I am aware of a few family members of friends who are working in Thailand teaching English. The Thai's want to do a lot of international busines, but have problems w/Engrish.

Think about it, why would someone pay to import a pinay to work as a pro, when so much is available in the countryside?

[Pete The Beat]

Follow your heart son - at 24 you've got time on your side and life is about making mistakes and most importantly learning from them! You've really got nothing to lose - if it works out good luck to you! If it doesn't its not the end of the world and at 24 you've got lots of new women waiting for you!! As the saying goes - you will be older and wiser for the experience!
Good luck
Cheers
Pete

[Muf Diver]

I recently sent a few introductory messages to Cherry Blossom girls, without knowing that the girls were actually Pinoys working in BKK. Almost ALL of the Pinoys responded back and said that they are teachers or they are in education in BKK.

Could this be true? Or are they in BKK illegally (overstayed tourist visa?) and freelancing? Does Thailand need that many Pinoy educators?

Does anyone have any experience in dealing with the Pinoys in BKK?

May be this is not the right forum to ask this question. But, I will attempt another post in Thailand forum as well.

MD

[Xtorted Decay]

Havn't been to this board in quite a while, but I'll add my 2 cents.

I've been to the Philippines a few times now and met many, many girls. However I do not consider myself an expert and have no desire to give advice. This is just my experience and my opinion.

Most girls there don't have any idea what it is to be American, or a westerner. We're almost like a faery tale come to life for a lot of them. As such they'll see you in a number of different lights. Most of them dream of marrying a westerner for a number of reasons, high among them being financial security. This is hardly a filipina only trait, I think all women are drawn to a man who is financially secure to some point.

But obviously, most of the time they have the sense to know that you have a lot of options there, and they're not going to push that point, maybe for fear of rejection? Or maybe I just got it in my head that they all want to marry me. Maybe that place has done bad things to my ego:). Anyway, being different also makes you into a trophy of sorts. The amount of attention I've gotten while having a girl with me already far exceeds any other factor. It was like I was the focal point of determining the hierarchy among 2 or more girls.

Still, I consider this low class behavior. Maybe its just me. I'm sure you can see the potential for fun though.

I've had a completely different experience though. I met one of the 'good girls'. In Mindanao (not Davao, closer to Cagayan de Oro) no less, the evil realm of Abu Sayaf.

I won't go into details about this girl, but I will give you an idea of my experience. She's a lady, like no one I've met here in America, though I'm sure they're here too. Her english is better than most Americans I know, she's intelligent, she's kind, etc etc. Am I being played? Its possible. But I've known her for a long time now and she's survived all of my 'tests'.

I don't know. I'm only 24. I don't know where I'll go with this, and sometimes I feel like I might be in over my head. But I would take a girl like this over a million ho's. I may be mistaken, and end up just being a huge sucker, and having another one of those 'learning experiences' we all hate so much and never seem to learn from (I don't anyway). As of right now, though, all I can say is if you really want a relationship, and you can handle tampo, the good ones are out there. But you have to do some digging.

And if you get your heart broken, there's plenty of filipinas who would love nothing more than to cheer you up.