Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

[GoodEnough]

Wildone59:

Sorry for my off the cuff comments. It's always easy to give perfct advice when you know nothing about the context or the people involved. I'm glad that you finally dumped her. It sounds to me like you did everything you could to make it work.

GE

[Wildone59]

Ljohnson,

This was intended as an example of how these broads can be, if I had a dollar for every fight my wife and I had when I said no and she went and did it anyway I would not be missing the money.

As I stated in the first post, you can't help but have some empathy for these people, but then again most of them don't set themselves up to go anywhere.

I gave my wife the benefit of multiple chances due to her being abandoned and forced to work this way by her family, and also having an abusive BF before me, and her resultant bi-polar disorder due to the neglect and abuse.

Marraige is also supposed to be a commitment until death.

Yes, I do have backbone, she is soon to be an ex-wife.

I am curious as to why you are here in this type of forum if you have been so happily married for 30yrs

GoodEnough,

'just say no', I have said NO, No, No, so many times and so many ways to her that I thought that 'No' was the main word in the english dictionary.

When she agreed that I was right and then she did it anyway, typical filipina style, was when I realized that it woud never work with her.

Wildone59

[Frequent Flier]

Wildone59?

Or more likely Whimpone01.

I believe you have possibly heard enough already from fellow mongers here.

If not, and since I live here in the USA and I am guessing you do also, let me be the one to come kick you in your ass and get your manhood rebooted.

I will of course sedate this with some beer.

Holy shit my friend. I would love to come help you with moral support. Yes, that is right. Moral support. Because what your going through is a crime.

In the mean time I will also take some of your wife's female relatives and show them the realities of life as well.

Just let me know if you need some help with your backbone.

FF

[Funny Go Lucky]

Wildone59

What happend with you ? You can not say NO ?? What are you afraid off ?

Do not complain to anybody about the things happend to you. You make your own mess.

Learn to say NO

[GoodEnough]

Wildeone59:

I agree with Ljohnson. Why not "just say no." The only two possible outcomes seem to be that your wife, seeing some steel in your backbone, backs off and stops hassling you, or she leaves, which seems to be a conclusion that you would have no problem accepting. What's the worst that could happen? You get diviorced and she gets half your income as alimony? Sounds from what you said that this would amount to less than you're paying now. Tell her to fuck off and see what happens.

[Wildone59]

Ljohnson,

It was mostly told of the hazards of being married to a fillipina, that they are extreemly one sided and very narrow minded.

I don't give them money, my exwife did which is why she lives in an apartment and I have the house.

And lets add one and one, you say you have been married for thirty years, yet your in here?, sounds like something is missing

I do understand that they have not had much, but that is mostly due to the selfishness and petty bickering these people do.

[Wildone59]

I met my wife in the New York club in Kinville Okinawa in 1989 while there as a Marine, I brought her here in July of 1990 on a fiancee visa and we were married in Aug of 90, she now has US citizenship, in retrospect I should have followed my Grandmother's wish and request that 'Don't bring one of those asian girls home'

My wife has 4 brothers and 4 sisters, and the amount of support that has been sent has increased along with my income, my wife has not really contributed into the marraige, her income for the first ten years was her own (when she worked), plus she had to have money from me. Then when she was convinced to join her income with mine to pay off bills she could not live within her allowance, and complained that I was spending the money.

She has changed from being a LBFM to a frigid, coniving, controlling *****. Her priorities are to support her brothers and sisters families, (one of her sisters has 8/9 kids) and now I pay for her younger sisters appartment with refridgerator and the works, while her sister and brother sit on their ass.

I went once to meet her family and it was a non-stop flow of people daily asking for money.

Once my sister needed some help and my wife was enraged that she might have to help my family. I loaned one of my brothers a thousand dollars and my wife acted like I gave away our life savings, my neice is asking to come and stay with us to have a new start for her and her two kids and my wife is acting like its the end of the world.

I don't mind helping people, and I don't mind helping my wife's family, but I do mind providing for people that won't hellp themselves.

My Advise to everyone is to fuck them and leave them there.

[Member #1986]

GoodEnough

Hahahahahahah, I see you have learned grasshopper. That is true what you speak. Its called the crab mentality of the filipino people. If one person starts to get ahead and rise up, the others will grab them and bring them back down to their level.

Like you said even though there is no monatary gain for the crab in doing this they still like to grab onto them and drag them back down to the bottom where they dwell. No one there likes to see another succeed above them before they do.

Your experience is not unique my son, it is probably one of the most non thought about practices that happens, its just second nature to them. Just count it as a good day that you learned something. Thats just the way it is and it ain't gonna change in our life time. Thanks for the honest report. It helps all.

[GoodEnough]

Mikester:

The other thing I have recently noticed (and experienced) here is the aggressive and really unpleasant jealousy of women, when one has a relationship with a foreigner and the other, who wants such a relationship, does not have one. Even the best of friends, it seems, will go to great lengths to undermine each other in an attempt to destroy the relationship of the lady with the foreign boyfriend. Though I have lived here for the better part of a year now, this is the first time I've observed this phenomonon, and having discussed it with other expat friends here, I'm convinced that my experience is not unique.

It appears to me that the penchant for wanting to destroy that which the "other" has, even though such destruction offers no benefit to the underminer, is more prevalant here than I had realized. I finally decided just to divorce myself from the whole mess and to refrain from commenting on the stories, allegations, distortions and general lies being circulated about me. It seemed to work, as I simply refused to provide anymore fuel to the fire.

Maybe the situation exists because there is a limited number of foreign men here and the competition for their affections, and their wallets is fierce. Or maybe the situations like this fester because the women have so little else to occupy their time. Whatever the reason, such situtions create hurt feelings and unnecessary hassles,

[Mikster]

Lucifer, GoodEnough,

Great post Lucifer. Its amazing what you can learn even when its meant to be funny. GE, your right. I have always thought filipinas were best kept as LBFM and leave the marriage part to other guys. Sad, but most likely true.

I love banging filipinas the best of any I have had, but I really believe that for an American, a latina is probaby the best bet in the crapshoot that is foreign marriage. My OP only.

Dragon Slayer,

Dude, your right. I have been busy banging japanese broads, but I have tried to write you. Your inbox seems to always be full, and I did try writing to your other email and I dont know if you got it or not, but I did send it.

Mikster

[GoodEnough]

Lucifer:

Great post! That's the first time I have ever seen this list, and it reconfirmed my commmitment never to marry a Filipina! I have noticed many of the same things with live-in girlfriends, which may explain why I do not hang on to any of them very long.

[Asian Lover 01]

Lucifer,

Dude...this is so funny! I've seen most of these at one time or another, but its funnier when revisited haha. I've only been with mine for 3 years but everything still holds true LOL.

Thanks for the laughs :) (Oh, and for you guys that wonder these are ALL true!)

[Lucifer69]

Just to lighten the mood in this room. If you have been with a filipina for some time, I got 12 years with the same one, you will really relate to a lot of these.

You may be married to a Filipina if...

While this has circulated on the internet for quite some time, I have no idea who originally wrote it, though there can be NO doubt that the fella has a Filipina wife...by the way, this is all in good fun, so I hope no one is offended by some of the broader generalizations here. Some of these items I didn't understand myself, but most struck a familiar chord, and my wife enjoyed it (well, most of it), so I figure it's safe for public consumption.
________________________________________________

You may be married to a Filipina If... (written by an American guy who loves his Filipina wife in spite of the numerous irregularities):

* Your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize

* Instead of a dowry, you got the whole bill for the wedding and honeymoon

* Most of the decorations in your house are made of wicker

* You are expected to be able to read her mind just by watching her eyebrows move up and down and by the way her lips are pointed

* All her relatives think your name is "Joe"

* The instant you are married you have 3,000 new close relatives that you can't tell apart

* Your house isn't really on fire, you've just got a very charred fish on top of the stove burner

* All the desserts are sticky and all the snacks are salty

* She eats her fruit with giant salt crystals and her fried chicken with ketchup

* Even the ketchup tastes weird...very weird

* You throw a party and everyone is fighting to chop the leathery skin off a dead pig

* All your kids have 4-5 middle names

* Your in-laws take 10 years to acknowledge your existence and to call you by something other than "that white guy"

* You try to call her up on the phone and someone tells you "for a while" and you want to know "for a while, what??"

* You are trying to go to sleep and she keeps asking for the comFORT'r, and you ain't got a clue what she's talking about

* Your first Christmas present is some funny looking, baggy, see-thru shirt made out of leftover lace doilies

* Your phone bills are composed mostly of international and calls that average 3 hours each

* She sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on

* Her idea of classy, expensive champagne is Asti Spumante

* The rice cooker is on 24 hours a day and uses up 50% of your electricity and food budget

* On your first trip to the Philippines, you have 18 giant boxes that weigh 1000 pounds each and your "carry on" luggage requires a small forklift truck

* The same luggage is over filled with things that cost an average of 15 cents each like old magazines and M&Ms -- the worst part is when you get off the plane, the same stuff you've been hauling around half way around the world is available in every store in the airport for half the price!

* All her pajamas look like they were worn by the Dalai Lama until they got too faded and he discarded them

* The first time she's pregnant you have to go out at 4:00 in the morning looking for some weird type of greasy sausages, green mangoes and bagoong

* You buy a new $500 freezer so she can store 200 pounds of SPAM and CORNED BEEF that was on sale

* Everything in your house was bought on sale, even if you don't need it ... that it was a "bargain" is all that matters

* She gets really excited by sucking the fat out of pig knees

* Your daughter gets her ears pierced when she's 2 minutes old but your sons are not circumcised until they turn 21

* All your postage bills instantly double

* You hire a Ya-Ya because your wife ckeabs mirrors with soap and a sponge and the Ya-Ya seems cheaper than a divorce

* The only "white meat" she likes is YOU. And that's if you're lucky...

* Her favorite sauce is called "patis." Americans call it turpentine

* She actually thinks that bowling and golf and billiards are real sports and are more important than baseball and football

* You were married 5 years before she explained to you that "ARAY!" doesn't mean "ooh, baby!"

* She prefers bistek to beef steak

* Her idea of new upholstery is rinsing the bagoong stains out of the slip covers

* She can eat and talk at the same time; in fact that's her specialty!

* Her favorite meal is leftovers, her favorite fancy dessert is Jell-O mold and for something REALLY romantic, she'll offer you a halo-halo with 2 straws

* You still don't know the difference between manong and manok

* She and the kids are always saying "Daddy made utot" and you still don't know what it means, but they think it's pretty funny

* Other than eyebrow raising and lip puckering, her next most expressive form of communication is grunts and pssst's

* She goes to the movies just for the AC

* Her homeland has more Megamalls than islands

* Before every holiday and visit, her sisters fax you a 10 page "bilins" list which says "suggestion only"

* Your kitchen table has a merry-go-round in the middle

* All the vegetables she buys at the Filipino store look like they were grown at Chernobyl

* Her friends are named Chinky, Girlie, Boy and Bimbo and NO, you are not allowed to smirk

* Her home economics course only taught shopping, eating and siesta; cooking, cleaning and sewing were not electives

* Her idea of edifying reading is gossip magazines

* All your place settings have the silverware backwards and there are no knives

* She washes her hair with a bucket and her car with a broom

* Her favorite book (she has 3 copies) is "1001 New Recipes for Pig Parts You Were Gunna Throw Out"

* You are the only family in a 200 mile radius with 2 Betamaxes, 3 televisions

* She's done her best job planning a surprise party for you if she manages not to tell you about it until a week or two before

* She "cleans" her closet by throwing all the crap into your closet

[MasterBlaster]

Fastpiston,

Since you put it so nicely, I will comply. NO word from me after this since he already invoked a suicide defense.

MasterBlaster

[Fastpiston]

Masterblaster, Trim Keeper,
Why don't you both have a time out for a week and allow us others to use this excellent forum for what it is intended.