China Women - Opinions and Advice

[Dan Hawaii]

Dan,

You hit the spot man! i totally agree with you. Working in a big city is much better than being in a smaller one. Pay is better and it's easier to adjust to.

If it were me, i'd pick Shenzhen to work. It's close to the action, it's close to HK for those moments where you feel that you need a dose of HK's more western venues. In addition, you can trek around to Guangzhou for some great food. Dongguan for all the action packed weekends to spend at.

I think after all this talk, i'm going to consider changing my career path so i can live in China full time =)

China is irresistible. Enjoy it while it lasts boys, because in time, all of this mongering will slowly diminish like Taiwan, Hong Kong and all these other places. Girls are willing to do all this sex work cause they are still dirt poor. You wait a few years from now, you'll need to go further inside China to enjoy any more good fun. That means....a long plane ride to China, then another long plane ride to somewhere deeper inside China to get any action in the later future.

Loosely quoted from the movie Little Miss Sunshine:" Son, if I were your age, all i'd do is fuck, fuck and fuck some more until i couldn't fuck anymore. Then i'd rest and fuck some more. Enjoy it while you still can"

I think I'll prefer to live in ChangPing, close to all the action you described (Macau, HK, GZ, SZ, ZhuHai, etc...) but more importantly, why be close, when you can live in the most important action......, BBS and KTV.

[Old Mean Dog]

CPE?DAN,

NO CP girl wants your money and your tip and then a green card. Dan, you do ok in CP without speaking any chinese but I still think you should give Manila a try and let yourself be the judge. Also you should give other city in China a try instead of spend all your time in CP.

Fast eddie 48

Actually, I am not so well traveled in China either, but I did live and monger in Suzhou and I have taken trips here and there.

Due to my current profession, I have had the opportunity to meet hundreds of Chinese girls and talk to many Filipinas as well, I think my observations, were spot on.


-CPE

Moved to the Chinese Women and Advice Section.

[Red Rock II]

China is irresistible. Enjoy it while it lasts boys, because in time, all of this mongering will slowly diminish like Taiwan, Hong Kong and all these other places. Girls are willing to do all this sex work cause they are still dirt poor. You wait a few years from now, you'll need to go further inside China to enjoy any more good fun. That means....a long plane ride to China, then another long plane ride to somewhere deeper inside China to get any action in the later future.

Loosely quoted from the movie Little Miss Sunshine:" Son, if I were your age, all i'd do is fuck, fuck and fuck some more until i couldn't fuck anymore. Then i'd rest and fuck some more. Enjoy it while you still can"

I completely agree! China is not going to remain as a men's heaven for ever.

[AsnDragon]

Dan,

You hit the spot man! i totally agree with you. Working in a big city is much better than being in a smaller one. Pay is better and it's easier to adjust to.

If it were me, i'd pick Shenzhen to work. It's close to the action, it's close to HK for those moments where you feel that you need a dose of HK's more western venues. In addition, you can trek around to Guangzhou for some great food. Dongguan for all the action packed weekends to spend at.

I think after all this talk, i'm going to consider changing my career path so i can live in China full time =)

China is irresistible. Enjoy it while it lasts boys, because in time, all of this mongering will slowly diminish like Taiwan, Hong Kong and all these other places. Girls are willing to do all this sex work cause they are still dirt poor. You wait a few years from now, you'll need to go further inside China to enjoy any more good fun. That means....a long plane ride to China, then another long plane ride to somewhere deeper inside China to get any action in the later future.

Loosely quoted from the movie Little Miss Sunshine:" Son, if I were your age, all i'd do is fuck, fuck and fuck some more until i couldn't fuck anymore. Then i'd rest and fuck some more. Enjoy it while you still can"

For example of this point: If I was born and raised in China and decided to live in the USA and travel there for the first time, I would want to select a desireable place to live where I will be the most comfortable. I would not pick a home in the outback country farm lands of Vermont or any small rural town where everyone knows everybody else. Especially if they are all white "rednecks". Of course I would have major culture shock, moreover so if I did not speak English. This is your case in point.

Thus I would choose a home in a major US city where many of these big cities have a Chinatown and a lot of Chinese people. So I can be with my fellow Chinese and where everything is pretty familiar and culture shock is only mild. It would be just way more comfortable and familiar. Same if I was Vietnamese (Westminister California), Korean (Korean town LA), Japanese (Honolulu Hawaii (50% are Japanese) or Japan Town LA), etc.

With your teaching career in high demand, it would be easy for you to relocate and find another job in a big city where there are a lot of white people that speak English and a lot of USA shops and restaurants.

I did not want to sound bias or prejudice for this post, I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

As for your girl problem, I do think she was hitting on you and she felt that you were not interested ""Enough"" in her, so she decided not to pursue you any further. I think her objective was to hook you good, like make you fall "head over heals" for her, so that you would move back with her to Beijing or Tianjin to give her security. And ultimately marry and take her back to the USA for a greencard.

[Ace Gallant]

May seem a slightly naive question here (I have been in China over a year) but is kissing in public something of a 'no, no'? Not full on DFK, just a quick hello/goodbye peck?

I went on a 'kind of' date last week with a girl, quite traditional but also pretty out going (hey, she approached me with her number the first time we met). Nice evening if perhaps a little odd (it was my first 'date' in years - OK I kind of like this girl, not just sex). When we went to go our seperate ways, as I would with any female friend, I gave her a peck on the cheek (despite a chatty evening it wasn't going to be anythig else). She looked slightly shocked or surprised that I had done this.

We're still in contact and going out again has been suggested (where ever that may lead) but did not expect her to react to such. Now I realise, I hardly see any Chinese couples getting it on in public - hardly any hold hands although a freebie I had a few months back was quite happy to walk around arm in arm. Thoughts?

WGS

It is not in the culture of the Chinese in China to kiss goodbye or any peck on the cheek. But it is getting common in the bigger cities.

Here is an indication: If she seems surprise, it also means that she has not done it before and is still very un-exposed to westerner culture. This is an up for you.

Enjoy!

AG

[Old Wreck]

May seem a slightly naive question here (I have been in China over a year) but is kissing in public something of a 'no, no'? Not full on DFK, just a quick hello/goodbye peck?

I went on a 'kind of' date last week with a girl, quite traditional but also pretty out going (hey, she approached me with her number the first time we met). Nice evening if perhaps a little odd (it was my first 'date' in years - OK I kind of like this girl, not just sex). When we went to go our seperate ways, as I would with any female friend, I gave her a peck on the cheek (despite a chatty evening it wasn't going to be anythig else). She looked slightly shocked or surprised that I had done this.

We're still in contact and going out again has been suggested (where ever that may lead) but did not expect her to react to such. Now I realise, I hardly see any Chinese couples getting it on in public - hardly any hold hands although a freebie I had a few months back was quite happy to walk around arm in arm. Thoughts?

WGS

Generally speaking Chinese culture is much more conservative than Western cultures regarding public displays of affection. There is some variation depending on the neighborhood and location, of course. The big cities where you and your partner can enjoy some anonymity in the crowd, you may find more tolerance. In smaller cities and in neighborhoods this can be a huge taboo however. But after dark most cities have some parks where lover's congregate and go at it under cover of darkness.

[Night Cat]

Rabbus - Just to throw in my two cents, my guess is that the "lights out" girl was sizing you up as husband material. The "goodbye" came after her mom told her no way (as Santa suggested).

This is different from a girl being horny and wanting to jump your bones. The thought may have never crossed her mind. In fact, some of these girls think they shouldn't have sex until they get married. I try to avoid those.

I think your post is appropriate for this thread. Good luck.

[Gaudente]

Meanwhile we can share techniques to get more freebies and also to bail-out.
I really need bail-out techniques. Some freebies are so sticky that they will pay their own airfare to fly with me.

They are probably sticky because they want to get paid before you disappear !

[World Guy Sh]

May seem a slightly naive question here (I have been in China over a year) but is kissing in public something of a 'no, no'? Not full on DFK, just a quick hello/goodbye peck?

I went on a 'kind of' date last week with a girl, quite traditional but also pretty out going (hey, she approached me with her number the first time we met). Nice evening if perhaps a little odd (it was my first 'date' in years - OK I kind of like this girl, not just sex). When we went to go our seperate ways, as I would with any female friend, I gave her a peck on the cheek (despite a chatty evening it wasn't going to be anythig else). She looked slightly shocked or surprised that I had done this.

We're still in contact and going out again has been suggested (where ever that may lead) but did not expect her to react to such. Now I realise, I hardly see any Chinese couples getting it on in public - hardly any hold hands although a freebie I had a few months back was quite happy to walk around arm in arm. Thoughts?

WGS

[Dan Hawaii]

Hi Rabbus,
Since everyone has replied back with pretty much the best answers that I believe to be true, one suggestion would be to find a new job and move to a big city so that the culture shock would be subtle. CPE and many other forum members say there is a huge demand for English teachers, so finding another teaching job would not be a problem and you might get better pay in bigger cities. Like you and many other people said, many major cities have lots of white people living and breathing there. Might be a better change than a small city that is "behind in the times". The small town you are in may be a wrong fit for you and may not be ready for a you right now, maybe in a few years it will get with the current times. You know what I'm saying?

Plus there would be more gf opportunities in larger cities. Just a thought.

For example of this point: If I was born and raised in China and decided to live in the USA and travel there for the first time, I would want to select a desireable place to live where I will be the most comfortable. I would not pick a home in the outback country farm lands of Vermont or any small rural town where everyone knows everybody else. Especially if they are all white "rednecks". Of course I would have major culture shock, moreover so if I did not speak English. This is your case in point.

Thus I would choose a home in a major US city where many of these big cities have a Chinatown and a lot of Chinese people. So I can be with my fellow Chinese and where everything is pretty familiar and culture shock is only mild. It would be just way more comfortable and familiar. Same if I was Vietnamese (Westminister California), Korean (Korean town LA), Japanese (Honolulu Hawaii (50% are Japanese) or Japan Town LA), etc.

With your teaching career in high demand, it would be easy for you to relocate and find another job in a big city where there are a lot of white people that speak English and a lot of USA shops and restaurants.

I did not want to sound bias or prejudice for this post, I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

As for your girl problem, I do think she was hitting on you and she felt that you were not interested ""Enough"" in her, so she decided not to pursue you any further. I think her objective was to hook you good, like make you fall "head over heals" for her, so that you would move back with her to Beijing or Tianjin to give her security. And ultimately marry and take her back to the USA for a greencard.

[OldAsiaHand]

Rabbus:

There is a Chinese proverb roughly translated about not speaking directly from the heart concerning wants and desires. Many traditional Chinese women follow this. You need to learn to read between the lines. Many will say "No" when they really mean "Yes". On the other hand, most Chinese people will never say "No" directly. It is too confrontational. Silence is one of the best ways of saying no. Vice versa, it is best not to be so direct with Chinese girls.

I agree with the consensus of opinion about not shitting where you eat. Find some girls outside your workplace.

We cannot tell you about your specific set of circumstance since only you were there and know the girl. However, playful, friendly, touching and slapping are commonplace and may not have any sexual inference whatsoever most of the time. Many girls want to practice their English which may also have no sexual inference, however, sometimes we can convert this desire into bed.

IMHO, it can be really difficult to figure out where you stand. I've been here 12 years and am still learning every day.

Just my POV.


OAH

[Arctic1]

This is exactly the way a good Chinese girl will act. She will make many small suggestions, comments and gestures but never anything overt. It is up to the man to make the first (and most) moves. If this does not happen then the girl will just move on and assume it wasn't meant to be.

I can tell from her comments that she was more than a little interested in you. If she wasn't you would have never gotten this close, or spent time with her alone.

Furias makes a great point here. To put it another way, as someone posted in the past, a Chinese woman will not voluntarily be alone with a man with whom she does visualize a potential future relationship.

[Dan Hawaii]

Hi Rabbus,
Since everyone has replied back with pretty much the best answers that I believe to be true, one suggestion would be to find a new job and move to a big city so that the culture shock would be subtle. CPE and many other forum members say there is a huge demand for English teachers, so finding another teaching job would not be a problem and you might get better pay in bigger cities. Like you and many other people said, many major cities have lots of white people living and breathing there. Might be a better change than a small city that is "behind in the times". The small town you are in may be a wrong fit for you and may not be ready for a you right now, maybe in a few years it will get with the current times. You know what I'm saying?

Plus there would be more gf opportunities in larger cities. Just a thought.

[Old Mean Dog]

A sure way to make life in Changde more difficult would be to sleep with your students. The school knows most of what you do....so they will know if you sleep with your student. Once that is found out, then you will be isolated by the administration of the school.

Start slow, become friends to with your students and they will assist you any way possible. Look at it this way, you are an outsider and trust must be gained. There will be other opportunities with other women in Changde. It will just take time and effort. The worst thing you can do is to sit in your apartment and not go out. The looking and pointing will still be there, but you will get used to it. Every city has something that is special and you will find something you enjoy.

Don't be afraid to go out and find it. Yes, that includes women also.

I also agree with this. If you are a full time teacher here, I would highly suggest to keep your pecker in your pocket. If the school gets wind of you banging students, your gonna be out of a job.

I have known several monger teachers, that let their little head get in the way of their profession and suddenly found themselves unemployed. This may or may not be of concern to you since common teaching jobs are a dime-a-dozen here, but if you're in a sweet setup, why risk it on a piece of pussy?

Staring: It's something you gotta get use too. I have always disliked the feeling of being stared at to such a degree, I would feel quite edgy if I knew all eyeballs were on me. It takes time, but you will come to learn, it is not rude here and the best way to counter it, is to stare right back at them with a somewhat glaring look. You will find that they will tend to look away, if you give them the look back.

Langauge: You must learn enough to be at survival level. You will find that this in itself is a great way to meet girls (other than your students), if you can even speak at least 10 words and/or 3 phrases to start with, you will be more respected by the locals and it has been my feeling that the majority of people I have encountered do not mind helping a laowai and many will go out of their way to help you. If a girl has any interest in the English language or Western culture, then you are a shoe in for a date.

Culture: You will need to become somewhat of a smart man on this. What may appear similiar on the surface to both cultures, 75% of the time is really not. As others have said, you are somewhat of a prize to these people, many will respect you for just being here longer than one month, while others will see you as a source of information for things they will never see or do themselves.

All foreigners in China are teachers to some degree, even if it's not our profession and/or source of income. They are just curious and want to know what life is like outside of China, once again, this is a great icebreaker to meet girls.

Teachers are quite respected here in China so try to seperate your job from your mongering hobby, the school does not want to lose face if you are known to be banging students and you may need their reference if you do decide to move onto another teaching position elsewhere.

My PoV,

-CPE

[Red Rock II]

Rabbus,

People come to this board to share their experience with girls/women. That is why most of the stories that you have read are about how one got hot sex with freebies through Internet with a few chats, how a person ended up in bed in a hotel room with a girl they met in the elevator after a few eye contacts, how a girl that works on the counter in a hotel knocked on your door at night just because you told her that she was beautiful, and how a person screw his co-workers, his students, his employees, his bosses…… But please don’t get an impression that every girl/woman that you bump into would be potentially interested in getting bed with you. Chinese people sometimes got a wrong idea about American women too by watching American movies or TV shows. On one frame, a man and a woman met and chat in a coffee shop. On next frame, they had had sex lying on the bed, and the woman asked the man: “What is your name?”…

In a small city like Chengde, it will take a lot of guts for a student to go out with her foreign teacher, let alone to sleep with him.

I agree with what Santa and other members said in their posts. Please don’t get yourself emotionally involved with any woman now. You just stepped into a cultural that you are unfamiliar with. It will be too early for you to judge a lady’s thinking at this point. Take your time to play around and get to know them. I am sure you will get someone that will invite themselves to your apartment and your bed at the meantime.

I don’t think that you did anything wrong with the girl that you mentioned in your post. I think that you are right that you didn’t make any move even when lights went off. Remember you have a job there. Howevery, you may need to be a little bit more aggressive verbally. Santa’s guess will be mine: she may already have a boyfriend somewhere or her mom or her friends told her not to get too close to you. But it doesn’t mean that she would mind sleeping with you for a night or two. I would be testing her by taking her out to a bar and stay there as late as possible and drink as much as possible. If she bring a couple her friends with her or tell you that she can not drink or insist on going back after you have asked her to stay, forget about her!