Buenos Aires - 2004 Reports

[Mickey Mouse]

What's going on down there?

I think all of Exon's ex-girlfriends have united to put him down because we haven't heard from him lately.

And DH has a TLN Favorita from every club in the triangle and is doing strangers from Catto's! Doesn't sound like Love to me!

I think I might have to make another trip to investigate this matter and make sure everyone is ok.

The first week of august is looking good,
MM

[OttoGraham]

Alboroto, that situation in the Whiskeria was simply an inexpensive lesson for you personally and for the rest of us generally. No harm done, and only a few dollars lost. Laugh about it, I say.

-Uncle Otto

[Member #4211]

Alboroto:

I agree that people try get advantage from visitors anyway. However, saying upfront (without any previous question) "Yo hablo poco español" or similar is translated as "I have no clue of this place, please tell me what to do or how much to pay". That is, by saying that the bouncer or the lady can take the initiative to set prices.

Andres

[Dickhead]

Oh Christ. This is ridiculous. 250 is way too much to pay at Hook whether you speak Spanish or Swahili, even it it is toda la semana, and nobody in history has ever paid a 110 cover at Catto's. Or any cover. There is no cover there and never has been. And I am obviously not a native speaker of Spanish and I have not run into any "killer bouncers" and if I do I will give them a "moon gotcha."

Do you guys who know about the board read the fucking board before you come here??????

Frustrated with these types of mongers :<(

[Dodger Bulldog]

I decided to do some window shopping, as a new monger friend convinced me to go to Black with him. A banker from Nicaragua, money is no object to him, and he quickly picked out his favorite 21 year old cutie and split.

I was just going to take a walk or two around the place, when I noticed a drop dead gorgeous blonde, a true Marilyn Monroe clone. She was surrounded by four men, so I figured there was no harm in looking. I watched her for a while, becoming more smitten, until I took a moment to visit el bano.

I made a wide arc on my way out the door to head back to my hotel and shot one last look around the place. Behold, there she was sitting all alone at the bar, looking even more fetching than before. Perhaps it was an omen, I convinced myself.

What would it hurt to chat a bit? Really, now?

Plenty, as I would find out.

She turned up the charm and was all over me. Celia, from Brazil, spoke excellent English, which I have read is a bad sign. But she was just so damn perfect looking that I simply buckled at the knees. Damn, am I weak!

She wanted $200 American to come to my room. At least I had the presence of mind to bargain her down to $125, but she also got me to pay for two drinks on top of that. She wrapped a bright red coat around her skimpy black halter dress and we were off.

At the hotel she agreed to pose for the obligatory photo with me. Tuliman, my night doorman, had learned quickly that it was his job to get a clear picture, in-focus and close-up, to earn his two pesos. Celia was still exuberant at this point (my money wasn't in her purse yet), and she grabbed me and tongued me deep for the snapshot. Tuliman snickered, knowingly, perhaps.

Once in the room, money exchanged hands, and I saw the beast within come out. She didn't like my condoms, my lubricant, my bed, or my music. Above all, she clearly didn't like me. She became nasty, barking orders, making rules, I guess she thought I should feel forever fortunate that she would grace my presence for only $125.

After a short, mechancial CBJ, she would only get on top for sex, tired quickly, and insisted on finishing me off with a hand job. "It's just my job," she said, without any sense of pride or work ethic whatsoever.

By then I realized that if I held out for what I had overpaid for, I would end up with nothing at all. I had best accept what a fool I was. As soon as I came I immediately asked her to leave, the only chica who I didn't appreciate enough to walk down to the taxi. "Just get the hell out."

Everyone here was right, and I am stupid. Stay away from Black, as there is so many friendlier woman and much better value for the money everywhere else in Bs. As.

DB

Hi DB,

You could have also have discovered her true personality and avoided the worthless scene if you have followed this simple rule:

NEVER PAY FIRST

If you had insisted that you were going to pay when the session was finished, she would have turned pissy when she discovered your resolve not to pay in advance, whereupon you could have escorted her back to Black (remember, you are a gentlemen) and had another drink and possibly have left with another chica.

BTW, The reason you would always escort a malcontented chica back to the club is to protect your reputation. If she goes back alone, she'll tell everyone who will listen (managers, other chicas, etc.) that your ripped her off. If you return with her, she can't make that story stick.

BTW #2, I'm not suggesting that paying first will always result in a bad experience, but every bad experience I've ever had ALWAYS included me paying first (see the 1707 Sante Fe section). Personally, I'd rathger lose out a small percentage of otherwise good sessions as a consequence of avoiding the large percentage of inevitable bad sessions.

Just stand your ground. Remember, you're the man.

Jackson

[Dodger Bulldog]

I will resume posting about my June visit to Bs. As., after having been interrupted by a two week trip to the great Northwest. Check future reports on the Vancouver, Seattle, and Portland boards if interested.

I definitely should have stayed in Argentina all summer. Fortunately, I did take copious notes to keep my memory fresh.

I want to comment on the best place that I found to buy Viagra in Bs. As. It is the previously mentioned Farmacia Azul at Av. Cordoba 533, just 1/2 block north of the Cafe Orleans.

No prescription necessary, of course, with prompt and friendly service, and all credit cards accepted. The best bargain is the red generic sildenafil, under the name brand "Magnus."

You can buy ten 50 mg pills for AR$48, but it is better to buy the 100 mg size for AR$65. Most of you mongers can cut them in half and get 20 doses that come out to only US $1.10 each, less than 10% of the cost in the states.

The new Levitra and Cialis were not bargained priced (no generics yet, I guess), so I passed on those.

I can attest that the generic Viagra works perfectly fine, no need to pay more for the name brand. The next paragraph is not to boast, but only to give testimony to how effective the assist was from the little pill.

My favorite chica told me my cock was "resistente," which gave me pause because I certainly wasn't resisting her at all. She assured me that it means "virile, hardy, strong." Later I saw that my Spanish/English dictionary agreed, so I felt better. Another chica dubbed me the "Incredible Hulk."

I'm not used to those kind of comments, so either their Argentine manners include inflating a gringo's ego, or this stuff really works. I have no doubt that it is the later.

DB

[Alboroto]

Andres,

My experiences have told me that even if you speak Spanish,
those heavyweight bouncers or ladies, as soon they heard
your accent, they know you are tourist and the ripped starts.

I considered myself a well traveled person, but have fear for
my life as I was at Whiskeria ... Believe me, if this heavyweight
bouncer have told me to give him my wallet, probably would
It was a very scary experience.

[Sidney]

Had 2 bad experiences with internet girls recently.

1. Escort Baries (Ona). She was supposed to be 110-60-90 and 170. In reality, she was 100-70-110 and only 160 at most. Just a little fat piglet. I will never use that website again--gross misrepresentation.

2. Platinum --Massage (Ornella). Supposed to be best looking blond on the website. In fact she had cropped off red hair, was overweight, and average sevice at best. I will avoid Platinum also. We need to put the pressure on, or boycott them.

[Member #4211]

Apartmens in BA and suburbs

I visited the following apartments during this week (no action, though):

1) Sarmiento 1828 1º A
Run-down place (as fas as for decoration). Good attitude from the receptionist, 2 girls available (Lorena, a so-so petite girl, and Cami, a nice but average girl, pointed out as the number 1 girl of the place due to attitude). ar$30 for 30 minutes and ar$40 the hour. May come back to check it out again (best time to go: 1PM to 3 PM)

2) Sitio de Montevideo 1016, Lanus (Southern suburb).
Very discreet and clean place, but girls are not beautiful. 4 were occupied and 3 free, none of them above 5 on my scale. Given that it takes 30-60 minutes to get there by car during the day, it may not be worth to visit the place. ar$30 for 30 minutes and ar$50 the hour.

Both places open 24 hr.

Hope this helps,

Andres

[EZE_Amante]

Chopper,

I had Johanna on my last trip too. She has a great body, and provided damn good service to me also, except she owned up to being 32 to me, my guess is add maybe a couple more. That body has taken her around the world, glad to see she has made a stop in BA.

BTW, I went home last night after another 12hr work day (hate all you lucky bastards in BA right now), flipped on the tube to watch the "Amazing Race", and guess where most of the show took place...right in the heart of Recoletta. Thankfully the BA scenes took place during the day, so no mongers were spotted.

EZE

[Dickhead]

Altoids will burn your Jones off. Not recommended if BBBJ is on the menu.

[Sidney]

Yesterday was an almost perfect day. but I couldn't find any place to watch MLB ALLSTAR GAME. Fuck, soccer, soccer, soccer. What a dumb game! So at 1130pm, I decide to go to Affaire. Of couse my old friend Karla is there waiting to pounce on me. Several good looking chicas in there, but Karla wont leave ne alone. She is tall, big boobs, bi-sexual, and must have a tongue 4" long. She always insists on a 3-way with her current lesbo lover. She is a very cute black haired spanish. We leave for hotel and it is very, very good ! Kinda made up for missing the game.

[Chopper]

Andres and Alboroto,

I agree with your suggestion that there should be a section on rip off places. Maybe it can be called the Shame file. I hope Jackson will create such an item to help warn out of towners as the information is otherwise buried under many posts.

Dickhead, I can ensure you that I did not misundertand what was said to me in English at Catto´s. Maybe there is a maverick doorman/barman in the place, but it is a worrying sign. I´m sure they wouldn´t try that sort of behaviour on regular such as yourself.

On a much brighter note
Last night I went to Hook. I arrived just before 10 PM and there was only one girl there at that point. I sat by myself away from the bar and more girls arrived and sat at the bar end. I just sat back and enjoyed my beers and checked out the chicas as I could (not easy from where i was sitting).

Eventually I caught the eye of a petite and young looking 21 y.o. lArgentinean lass, Nadia. By the time I left I had about 5 or 6 cervezas and bought her a couple of glasses of Champagne for which I paid less than 80 pesos. By this time the place was starting to fill up.

I took her for the night for 250 pesos. As soon as we got to the room the french kissing started. She was however was nervous about getting paid so I reassured her by showing her the colour of my money. With this reassurance she relaxed and we went through a vertable packet full of condoms by noon today (Although i can´t say that I came that many times - Cialis tends to do that to you). I was going to leave Argentina today for Uruguay or brazil but have now put those plans back for a day as I will be with Nadia again tonight.

Thanks to Nadia my faith in Argentina as a valued mongering destination has been restored.

Happy mongering

Chopper

[Member #4211]

Chopper:

It would be a great idea to create a section called "Rip-Off places" under the Argentina directory. The first entry would be the wiskerias around Corrientes and Esmeralda (places that I warned not to visit several times before, but that info is hidden beneath hundreds of messages).

An advice: NEVER say "mi español es poco" to a bouncer, because it is an invitation to rip you off. Any person will figure it out after you pronounce a few words, so it's no use to say so.

Hope this helps.

Andres

[Alboroto]

Dickhead,

Good advised ... BTW, now days they sell small kits containing
all the necessary toiletry for those ocassions as described by
OTH, also Altoids can help a lot.