Dating Agency Discussions

[Suave Gato]

My experiences with the online dating have been mostly good. I always search out the free sites in the various countries I am interested in. Normally a free site starts up and all the ladies from the area sign up, then as it becomes more popular they either charge a fee or end up a part of match.com. I have a young Slovenian friend here in NYC who stays in touch with her freinds back home and lets me know about new EE sites. The mejor draw back is the language barrier, so I have found it is easier to stick with spanish speaking countries. Several years ago I discovered latinamericancupid.com and it was a great free site, with mostly women from Columbia and Peru. Unfortunately now you must pay.

Alp

[Member #1005]

Viator,

Exactly what country are you talking about here?

I suggest that you try ordering book online www.amazon.com then put "dating" or "understanding women" into the search and knock yourself out.

Books that l find interesting are biographies to be honest.

[Viator]

Hi Juniour!

>>> The simple answer is to walk into any bookstore and ask for the section on which books can help facilitate holding a general discussion.

Well said, but since I live in a country where such sections are pretty uncommon, maybe you can drop a couple titles you found especially intriguing or helpful. In case the books that are in your mind are not written in English, I can read French, German and Italian as well.


>>> Hope this helps?

It certainly was an interesting lecture, even if the problems I have in holding a conversation with a woman are more related to internal stress and lack of confidence with issues of general interest, than to myself being overly centered on my own personality.

Best, Viator

[Member #1005]

Astor Bryan

>>> there are books which can teach you how to communicate with girls.

Hi Juniour,

I read your commentary with interest. Can you give us some titles?

Viator,

The simple answer is to walk into any bookstore and ask for the section on which books can help facilitate holding a general discussion. I know there are books that claim they can guarantee that you score with women 100%. But basically all you need to do is be able to hold a general conversation with a female.

What you are looking for is a way to walk over to that attractive woman you spot and start a conversation without being sleazy or rude. What you have to remember is that most attractive girls don’t have a problem meeting guys every day, but trust me most guys think that starting a cheesy conversation is the way to go – wrong very wrong. These girls will tell you that they hear these same line every day, unless she happens to live in cave somewhere.

You need to stand out from the crowd, not be condescending, but do hold your own opinions.

Rule number one: is don’t sit there talking about yourself, if she wants to know about you she will ask the questions, trust me.

Rule number two: Listen to what she has to say – if a girl tells you she has a baby brother that likes football, later on in the conversation ask her what her brother’s favourite team is.

Rule number three: look at her and concentrate on her only, don’t sit there looking at her breasts, legs or the other attractive girls in the room passing behind her shoulder, girls notice this and it annoyed them like hell.

I wish I could give you a definitive book that tells you how to be successful but these are too numerous to mention and every day another new book is appearing on the selves.

Maybe I can suggest that you read one of these books that deals with espionage, the spying game for the reasons on why are spies successful? The reason is they do their homework, your average spy looks at his subject and tries to understand their interests and around this they are able to build a conversation, finally two question for you.

What does your average person like doing?

Answer: talking about themselves.

What does your average person hate?

Answer: listening to someone talking about themselves. (especially is they have one hell of a boring life, done nothing and been no where)


Hope this helps?

Juniour

[Viator]

[QUOTE=Juniour]Astor Bryan

>>> there are books which can teach you how to communicate with girls.


Hi Juniour,

I read your commentary with interest. Can you give us some titles?

[Turbo Pascal]

I lost very much time and money with dating agencies.. Many old women use fake pictures. But I've finally found a woman at the site varmigoren.com. It's a free site with no silver or gold membership. Everything is free but the language is Turkish.

[ChicagoBoy23]

Latinamericancupid.com is good site for meeting girls. Text chatting is very easy. Only issue is most girls don't speak english so you must learn some spanish. Girls are very agressive from Peru and Columbia.

I went down and met girls from the site. It was pretty real.

[Long Stroker]

the worst part- the guy can't even accept the fact that he's been played!

http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories...148555&tref=hr

[Member #1005]

Astor Bryan

I am not sure if you are a real woman or just saying that for some dramatic effect? Either way it does really matter to what l have to say; but yes, I agree with what you have to said. Here is my two cents worth to what you have said.

On dating sites, like everything else in life it’s a useful tool if you know how to use them. However, many guys make a common mistake in wrongly assuming that women who place adverts on dating site are just desperate for sex.

Remember to get the best out of this type of service you should first do your homework. In my experience there are certain countries where dating sites work extremely well. I have had very good results in Japan, Germany, Latvia and Brazil, however the downside is language whilst I have reasonable spoken Portuguese but my written is poor.

The next and most important point to remember is that in my experience I have found many guys don’t actually know how to communicate with women. I personally cannot understand how it is that some guys find it so difficult to meet women on dating sites.

When I went to work in Japan because I was there for a relatively short period I placed an advert on a Japanese dating site, not for Tokyo because I already knew some girls there but for Osaka and within two hours I had received six replies, in fact one girl called me up at 1.30am after I sent her my telephone number, she wanted to meet up the next day. Naturally, I was surprised since I was already in bed asleep at the time. But this girl wanted to meet the following day to show me around Osaka. I have since met another Japanese girl, from the same site who came to the UK to improve her English, and wanted to meet up and I have been on and off with her for two years now, she meets up with me twice a year and has just spent Christmas with me here in the UK but she is getting serious now asking about that dreaded word “commitment” however, I don’t want to be drawn into my personal life too much here.

However, about ten years ago, I for the purposes of an article I was writing, looked at various methods of dating the opposite sex. I came to the conclusion that dating agencies worked but what lets down many guys is one they wrongly assume women are desperate for sex and second many of these guys don’t know how to communicate with women. I have met many girls who have shown me the types of replies they have received and it interesting to see what some guys had written; to be honest I was surprised by what I had seen. Some guys assume because they are relatively attractive that the women will automatically fall for them, when they see their photo, this might work if you are a famous actor, but if not then forget it, therefore these guys they have no personality whatsoever or it doesn’t come across. It may be a different situation in a bar but any girl could easily go to a bar and wait to meet a guy in any country, therefore they are using this method because they obviously want something more to the guys they could find in a bar.

To make a dating site work for you, you have to learn how sell yourself and your personality. I would also suggest is that you use a comparative advantage, i.e. all foreigners seem more attractive to the opposite sex, so these dating sites work even better when you are a foreigner, it doesn’t work as well when you are at home. But some of the guys who have contacted girls often use this term that they are “rich” , especially to girls in third world countries like the Philippines many guys use this term and then wonder why they often end up meeting money grabbing girls. I don’t know exactly how much money someone needs to be considered at rich, one hundred thousand, half a million, five million or ten million dollars, what does it matter? When I contact girls or write a profile I never emphasise anything to do with finance instead focus on personality. If you sell yourself like that, naturally you are only going to attract the wrong types of girls.

I recall corresponding with a Lithuanian girl and said l wanted to meet up with her and take her to dinner when she asked where l would be taking her l said to somewhere special like McDonalds, this was meant as humour but it worked we did go to dinner several times, but l should add not to McDonalds.

If I can add a couple of point of how to get the best out of dating sites is as follows:

First, write a good profile about yourself, read it and then read it again and re-write it. Remember, this should not be your life story, but a taster, nice concise and focused.

Second, learn how to communicate, remember if you don’t know how to talk to girls at home then why you would think that you suddenly should be able to go overseas and know how to talk to girls. So learn how to communicate with girls, there are books which can teach you how to communicate with girls. The cheaper option is learn how to hold a conversation with an old woman, if you can do that then you can talk to any beautiful girl.

Third, when you speak to girls, speak with them - not to them -remember to let them lead the conversation, you should not be going on and on about yourself, take an interest in what the girl has to say and ask intelligent questions.

Fourth, when or if you do meet the girls remember if you agree to meet them for dinner this does not mean sex, l like women and I love sex, just like any other man but dinner is dinner and sex is sex and both are two different types of things.

The final point I would like to add is that if you have a chance to watch the movie “Hitch” then watch it and take some tips, it very fundamental but you can learn much from it.

I have read many posts from people along with the clowns on this board and I still cannot understand why it is that some guys have not cracked it yet, especially these so called “expert” can actually go to a place like the Philippines and have such problems forming relationship with females, especially when it’s so easy.

A dating site is like getting your foot in the door the rest is up to you. Remember nothing ventured, nothing gained, of course you will meet girls who you won’t click with, but at least you have learnt something from this experience.

Juniour


PS If anyone wants any one to one schooling it will cost you $1,000 day

PSS, And just what is a woman actually doing on this site??

[Capt Ajax]

There are many real women reading these ads - not as many as there are men, but we're out here. Some of us DO actually meet people off of the list. There are a few things you should think about, though, before you dismiss it as a waste of time or all bullshit. First of all, when a woman posts an ad, she gets a lot of responses. It's a numbers thing. I'd say the men on the list outweight the women by at least 20:1. So your odds were never good. Does that mean you shouldn't try? Up to you. Second, when a woman (me, for example) posts an ad and gets anywhere from 40 to 150 replies over the course of a week, she's got to have a way to narrow down the selection. What's she supposed to do - meet them all?

So, the lucky girl narrows down her selection via her own criteria (email, pictures, phone, whatever). The preponderance of guys who contacted her are going to be eliminated - a good bit of the time without response. I mean, what do you say to the guy who does not meet your qualifications and is not what you are looking for? "No thanks"? I don't know. It's my experience that the No, Thanks emails get a lot of vitriol in response so why send them? Responding to an ad on CL is beyond no strings. No one is required to respond to your response.

But let's say that you did reply and you were not eliminated, but you did not seem to be the most promising responder. Who knows why? Maybe someone seemed like exactly what she wanted and you were just sort of what she wanted? Maybe you mentioned that you can't get away weekends much, but she's looking primarily to play on the weekend? I mean, it could be for any reason whatsoever. Regardless, she's got to get through all the ones in front of you before she gets to you, right? Unfortunately, if you aren't one of the frontrunners, you probably are not going to get a response. That's life. But it doesn't mean she isn't real and CEs do not happen all the time through this site. It also does not mean that you would not be the frontrunner for someone else or for that same girl at a different time.

Thirdly, the bitterness over not having any successful encounters is wasted emotion. Try harder. Or give up on it. Whatever your tolerance for disappointment is should dictate how much you try. My tolerance for it is very high (most of the time). You think I do not suffer disappointments when I place ads? The boys lie all the time. They send old pictures, they misrepresent themselves, they act all hot & heavy and then they punk out because suddenly the fantasy could become reality and they're uncertain. Perhaps you aren't cut out for CEs? I mean, how would you feel after meeting 10 chicks all of whom lied about some aspect of themselves or their circumstances? How would you feel if you carried on email conversations for weeks, planned to meet someone, and they no-showed?

Put simply, the disappointments you are facing on the list itself are NOTHING compared to the ones you will face should ever get on a lucky roll and get some replies. And no matter what - you rarely ever get an explanation as to why (meet 'em, don't meet 'em. fuck 'em, don't fuck 'em. you never know why it goes away when it does, it just goes away). Nature of the beast.

CEs happen. But they aren't for the faint of heart. You have to have a sturdy constitution to pursue them.

That's what I think. Now lay into me. I'm ready for you.

[Laser Eye]

I've been lurking for awhile and have decided I may have something useful to
contribute. While net surfing I happened upon a site which is totally free.

I have been in contact with several women,via e-mail and phone. The site seems to be world wide. It appears that few,if any,of the ladies are pro or semi-pro.It might be worth a shot for those who have some patience and are seeking non-pro action.

The site can be found by searching Google key word: Plentyoffish

L.E.

[Tiantain]

Does anyone know of sites to pick up women in Shanghai, China other than AFF?

[Zidaho]

I accidently sent that last response. Not able to edit oh well.

Anyway, I think the key point with Match Yahoo and Kisscom is consistency over several months working the site, sending out emails, and developing a pipeline. An initial contact email on these sites that I have found successful is saying something like "Wow you are gorgeous, or gee you are PRETTY and I just hope we have the opportunity to meet". Women seem to respond to simple, matter of fact flattery, laced with an easy neutral or perhaps a somewhat cavalier suggestion of meeting sooner rather than later. So I try to keep it short and sweet, consistently a little flattering beyond that, words in matters of romance/friendship generally meaningless until you actually meet each other. And I put my phone numbers and addresses to her directly when I recieve a response, I think it also makes her feel more secure, it's like one shoe dropping. Generally though before meeting the less I can say (without being creepy) the better, lot of women nervously overtalk creating way too many unrealistic expectations about who I am before even meeting. And that should raise at least a patient yellow flag, note; some rationalize a man will fall in love with her personality/heart thus overlooking the deceptive profile (old picture or average body) with the reality (way older looking, and way overweight). Of course guys often do the same thing. So if meeting is the objective post a little less than flattering picture it will be a delightful surprise when you have the opportunity to touch her. Obviously more prevalent in the 35-50 age group. So I try to stay focused with the primary objective of meeting face to face. I have met some really fine women through these sites, and generally they have been suprisingly the horniest women I have ever known. I still think about a few of them when I consider going into a committed relationship, which in the long term is what most of them expect, naturally. It is a trick keeping ones integrity, while seeing and meeting so many women in the on-line dating venue. I justify it with a fact that women can go out, select and get laid about anytime with-out offering much more than her body, or a simple nod, I on the other hand need a large inventory as my need is more present and my selections not available to me at any given time. So right now I have about eight to ten women in various stages of intimacy. It's fun, sometimes aggravating but also gratifying, particularly when I have a woman contacting me wanting to see me in bed, or a confident husband who sends an email because he likes to see his horny wife's legs dangling over my shoulders. Mongering and dating both have their advantages and pitfalls.

I have been a paying member on AFF for about 4 years now. As a single guy I have met maybe half a dozen single women in that time, but then, only when I was sending out massive numbers of emails. Only a few that were really great in bed. It is mostly a scam (as J Burb and others aptly described) getting single guys to gin-up with a membership to contact those sex kittens glorified on the site. It's hype. I used to send out about 30 emails a week, I attacked AFF and others sites with a mass mailing, similar to long term direct mail marketing program. So many fakes on the AFF site. And frankly with all the sites it is hard, hard, hard to hit the timing just right even with the weeklky/monthly mailing scheme I implemented, to hook up with that hot couple, or, genuine single girl looking for some discreete fun. I have only landed a 2-3 really pretty single women from AFF and then it took months of time and weeks to solidify her trust. As a single man I have far greater success with couples on AFF and SLS. In fact that is the category to whom I focus all my energy now. BTW a far better site is swinglifestyle.com less scam fakes. Though it takes tact I have discovered it is far easier to hook up with married women, profiled with a husband on SLS and to a lesser extent AFF. Surprisingly I have had several girlfriends from Match or Kiss who profiled with me as a couple on AFF and SLS. Definitely more meetings with that combination, "meeting" being the key word there because it is MUCH harder for four people to agree and feel comfortable together when meeting like that from a dating site. Something about the dynamic of a fourth person or two couples makes it exponentially more complex. So even though it is more difficult to get meetings with a couple as a single male, I definitely have more success from that point forward in getting her in bed. Also, it took me a while to realize one of the partners is generally the decision maker it is good to determine who that is from the outset and be aware of it during the encounter.

Last thought, and I realize this is a long email and probably burning alot of you out. But, when I first started on the standard sites about 4-5 years ago, I put some really brazen profiles out there making it VERY clear what I was looking for in a woman ie no sexual hang-ups etc, etc. THen I sent that profile out to everyone, definitely burnt some bridges with some of the women I wanted to meet but I sent it to everyone even the ones without a photo. Looking back now I think that approach was just as effective as being the nice safe guy, my rate and time landing some real foxy women was really good. The profiles without pictures are typically women who want annoymity, so remember that as well as their age group when targeting them with your emails. Of course the profile was not grossly or scary candid just kind of onery and witty candid. I was very surprised by the quality of some of the women who responded, women who found that approach refreshingly intriguing, bold and a suprising number who went to a hotel just an hour or so after meeting. So . . . there are some suprisingly beautiful women out there on these safe sites looking for no strings attached sex. Hummm, maybe I should try that again! Also forget about feeling sorry for yourself about having to send out all the emails and never having a woman contact you first. I used to compalin about that and still do toungue in cheek but a woman changed my perspective when she mentioned that it's no picnic having to sit there and read 30 profiles every week and trying to weed out the ones that are a waste of time. Wish I had a twin brother so I could play both ends of this game. Ha, ha.

Thanks to you mongers who have been posting on these threads, I have gained much from your insights. You are the primary reason I feel compelled to give something back to this board. I hope it helps someone.

With the Match and etc sites I used a couple of sets, that is a series of written emails that I had developed, my personal boiler plate and send out with the attitude that they were all in various stages of being laid. I even went to the anal extent of having in depth files on my conversations, notes, BD, names of kids, work, etc on 10-20 of the women, and couples I was working on at any given month. At one point I would demand with the ladies that were ready to get naughty that they would have to send me their panties before we could meet so I could scent them prior to meeting and sucking there tounges between my lips. Ha, ha. I have about 30 pairs of panties labeled and archived in my office storage. I think women are extremely suseptible to cyber romance once you can get around some of their security issues. As an example a few years ago I had numerous women over the space of several months who would walk into my office without ever a prior face to face meeting and within a few seconds have them bent over a chair or on their knees sucking my cock. I had one match girl go to an apartment in a short revealing dress, to meet me, her to lay her panties on the coffee table her back to the door, standing looking out a window while I entered walked up behind, bound her hands with a silk scarf, bent her over and took her right there. We had a great fantasy fullfilled relationship for about a year, she's married now but we stillhave coffee and laugh about it. Ha, ha.

[Zidaho]

Hey Mongers,

I have used the dating sites with varying degrees of success the past several years. Here are some of my observations:

Match.com: conservative but authentic profiles. Have had annual membership on this site the past three years. Like all dating sites it's a numbers game. I go through cycles generally sending out 30 emails over a few days, every other month or so to replenish my pipeline, and generally get 15 responses, 10 of those will meet me within the next two weeks, of those 3-4 will back out the last minute. Out of those six or seven I select 3-4 that I will earnestly pursue a few days before we meet, cell phone numbers make them feel safe talking. Typically meet for coffee or lunch or if she is hot I take her to dinner, out of those four that I meet o(usually weekend) because I generally drive to a bigger city to meet them I find 1 or 2 that want to move forward quickly and are attractive as advertised, the others want to take it slow, which is OK if I find them attractive.

[Skelelton Sled]

Hello,Hi all,

They work But they work for what you pay for!

Great expections you have to fork over alot of $$$ and thats not even a sure fire way to meet someone! My .02 cents-is all dating services. Use fake pics to bulk up the male membership ratio! Really how many Girls/ladies will use a dating service in usa? Not many Not many at all There chaaa ching cash cows these services and they know that have us men by the cajonies. The ladies/girls may be real what comes with that package is why they joined in the first place.

As for all the ones that were mentioned here they have there up's and downs
Most of them use the same concept-E harmony thats a lil wee bit tight for me
in what im looking for.That has a reglious backround to it!! Its been said(no lie)
Now my 0.02 cents for the day Is this,its quite simple_in order to make it as a Basketball,baseball,football,track star or anything in life is to stand head and toes above the avg Joe! Be better be greater Got to dominate in everything.Got to dominate! Dont be a pw mofo! this is for american woman

Not to be used across the oceans!!