Living in China

[SE Asia Joe]

Anyone else notice? Americans always refer to visitors by their nationality. If I talk about one, I would say "this Chinese visitor" or "This Japanese tourist" or "This Puerto Rican baseball player" etc. We don't refer to people as "outside person"=Gaijin=Japanese, or "Laowai"=Foreigner=Chinese. I guess it's true, Americans are instinctively polite. Odd.

WHAT???!!!!

And I guess all these racial epithets - The "N" word, WxP, WxT BxcK, Chxnk, Cxmel jxck, gxok, etc etc - wasn't invented in the USA and never gets used in America now huh??

I guess live IS different in Santa Cruz huh?

SEAJ

[King Assington]

Apples and oranges. You wouldn't refer to your Mexican friend to another as "My foreign friend Pedro".

Tut tut, more than likely I'd refer to him as, "My gardener".

[Dash]

and of course in the U.S. it is customary to complain about "foreginers", "illegals", "migrant workers" etc getting free healthcare etc without specifying that the person in question is Mexican, Guatemalan, Ecuadoran, etc.
Usually in China and Japan gaijin/laowai means white, north american or western european, since they have more specific names for people from neighboring countries such as korea or russia, or different names for blacks from any region.

Apples and oranges. You wouldn't refer to your Mexican friend to another as "My foreign friend Pedro".

[Crazy Jim Wood]

and of course in the U.S. it is customary to complain about "foreginers", "illegals", "migrant workers" etc getting free healthcare etc without specifying that the person in question is Mexican, Guatemalan, Ecuadoran, etc.
Usually in China and Japan gaijin/laowai means white, north american or western european, since they have more specific names for people from neighboring countries such as korea or russia, or different names for blacks from any region.

Anyone else notice? Americans always refer to visitors by their nationality. If I talk about one, I would say "this Chinese visitor" or "This Japanese tourist" or "This Puerto Rican baseball player" etc. We don't refer to people as "outside person"=Gaijin=Japanese, or "Laowai"=Foreigner=Chinese. I guess it's true, Americans are instinctively polite. Odd.

[Dash]

The problem is that "wai" can also mean "outside", which makes laowai a subtle way of calling you an outsider--even if you've lived in China for decades, can speak the language, and have a wife and children and a home and a business here.

Not every Chinese means it that way, and I'd guess that most of them haven't even thought of the word that way, but that doesn't change the meaning of the word.

Anyone else notice? Americans always refer to visitors by their nationality. If I talk about one, I would say "this Chinese visitor" or "This Japanese tourist" or "This Puerto Rican baseball player" etc. We don't refer to people as "outside person"=Gaijin=Japanese, or "Laowai"=Foreigner=Chinese. I guess it's true, Americans are instinctively polite. Odd.

[BJK]

The problem is that "wai" can also mean "outside", which makes laowai a subtle way of calling you an outsider

Just like foreigner, means someone who is foreign. It comes from the latin "foris", you can guess what that means.
I would call you a foreigner if you had not taken out citizenship of my country.
BJK

[Wadman]

Best expression I have heard used: Shanghainese women are cunning and controlling to the point where they can get their men to hand over their salary and wash their panties at the same time.

Maybe my wording was a bit confusing and what I meant was some guys out there are cocky enough to think they are pulling the strings on the Shanghaiese gal and she is smart enough to let you think that.

And if you are carrying her handbag when you go out, you are already her *****.

[Rob Woodrow]

just as a side note "laowai" is not a derogatory "label". Im not expert in Chinese but laowai and waiguoren are just two ways of saying foreigner. Gweilao may be derogatory but not laowai

The problem is that "wai" can also mean "outside", which makes laowai a subtle way of calling you an outsider--even if you've lived in China for decades, can speak the language, and have a wife and children and a home and a business here.

Not every Chinese means it that way, and I'd guess that most of them haven't even thought of the word that way, but that doesn't change the meaning of the word.

[Dash]

Maybe my wording was a bit confusing and what I meant was some guys out there are cocky enough to think they are pulling the strings on the Shanghaiese gal and she is smart enough to let you think that.

And if you are carrying her handbag when you go out, you are already her *****.

Wow, that's frightening. I wish I got more info from the guy who married one and the guy who has 9 (!?) in his 800 sq.ft. condo in San Francisco.
Side note: a guy living in San Francisco can get so much STRANGE it's unbelievable. 45% of unmarried men in San Fran are gay. The odds are just too good for a guy living up there to be in a bad situation.
I would love to hear from someone who can say how much fun it is to cohabitate with his inlaws that he cannot communicate with.

[Bob Builder]

Holy shit! Wow, that's interesting! Thanks for the tip pal.

Maybe my wording was a bit confusing and what I meant was some guys out there are cocky enough to think they are pulling the strings on the Shanghaiese gal and she is smart enough to let you think that.

And if you are carrying her handbag when you go out, you are already her *****.

[Dash]

Shanghaiese women are famous for being smart in chosing men their victims / partners that they can control and they end up with men that are smarter than they think they are and are able to control them.

Even Shanghaiese men don't want to have Shanghaiese women as partners.

Holy shit! Wow, that's interesting! Thanks for the tip pal.

[Bob Builder]

OAH, I appreciate your comment and will keep it in mind.
Some of my insensitive comments are maybe misdirected but in my defense I have been in difficult "negotiations" with a woman from Shanghai. She is a nice girl but seems to be exhitibing the traits for which Shanghai women are famous, i.e. something of a determined breed about getting their way. So, I'm a little bit up to here with the Chinese "ways".
I was at the KTV in the nicest hotel in Qingdao and none seemed to object when I was shown "the line up" of girls. I posted a photo here of one of my picks, let you be the judge of how she rates on a 1-10 scale. To me she was a 10 anyway.
Either way, if things don't settle down soon I'll be flying down to La Paz to a few girls and maybe a stop into a brothel with the most gorgeous women in the Republic of Mexico to entertain me and relieve my angst, haha.
I always respect the wisdom of those who have more experience, either in years or in the pursuits that I am much less experienced with myself. Thanks for your tips and I will always "speak softly and carry a big (duck) dick" wherever I roam in search of the finest girls in the world.

Shanghaiese women are famous for being smart in chosing men their victims / partners that they can control and they end up with men that are smarter than they think they are and are able to control them.

Even Shanghaiese men don't want to have Shanghaiese women as partners.

[Dash]

OAH, I appreciate your comment and will keep it in mind.
Some of my insensitive comments are maybe misdirected but in my defense I have been in difficult "negotiations" with a woman from Shanghai. She is a nice girl but seems to be exhitibing the traits for which Shanghai women are famous, i.e. something of a determined breed about getting their way. So, I'm a little bit up to here with the Chinese "ways".
I was at the KTV in the nicest hotel in Qingdao and none seemed to object when I was shown "the line up" of girls. I posted a photo here of one of my picks, let you be the judge of how she rates on a 1-10 scale. To me she was a 10 anyway.
Either way, if things don't settle down soon I'll be flying down to La Paz to a few girls and maybe a stop into a brothel with the most gorgeous women in the Republic of Mexico to entertain me and relieve my angst, haha.
I always respect the wisdom of those who have more experience, either in years or in the pursuits that I am much less experienced with myself. Thanks for your tips and I will always "speak softly and carry a big (duck) dick" wherever I roam in search of the finest girls in the world.

[OldAsiaHand]

OAH,
I appreciate your comment, but where do we really disagree? Unfortunately I do have a big dick and I do fuck them for hours. Actually, the tart who grabbed me in Wanfujing said "You fuck good". If some hookers rejected me I won't care, I will never know. I have posted several times that I do NOT believe that Chinese girls TRULY would like me. Why not? Because they feel their culture is superior. Certainly it is different. I dispute superior.
Whether or not any Chinese girls are waiting for me is a scientific experiment. YRMV is the rule.
I do NOT think gorgeous Chinese single women are waiting for me. The ones waiting for me who are hookers will be much prettier than ones I meet "the old fashioned way." The Qingdao university students were pretty enough, but not 10s. I was able to meet them and was invited back to their dorm in my one single solo walk around Qingdao.
I am not arrogant. I am proud. False pride is absurd. I see some of this baloney on the forum and react to it.
Living in a foreign country is interesting, I have done it myself. After a while, you begin to perceive the tourists from your country as insensitive or clueless.
Whether or not I think monkeys, starfish, seahorses, dogs, rats are food or have medicinal properties or whether I believe "Qi" exists, etc. etc. does NOT mean I go around teasing, being obnoxious, or otherwise belittling my hosts. You and Joe don't want to give me any credit for having the least bit of tact. That's your assumption, but based on my posts that make fun of the baloney I see here and there.
If you love living in China, have fun. Don't worry, it's pretty big and I think even if I were to be 1/2 as big a prick as you think, it can't impact your or Joe's life very much.
I have one side note. I don't believe in adopting the local label for me. You can call yourself a "lao wai" but you should not unless you are ashamed of it. I didn't call myself a "gringo" or "gobacho" or any other nickname for American when I lived in Mexico. I also doubt they would do so to my face.

Dash,

Your posts have been contradictory. It may just be the tone or your attempts at humor, but, IMHO, they often come accross as arrogance.

I do not believe that whether a Chinese girl likes you or not has anything to do with cultural superiority. Girls are girls everywhere in the world and if you treat them with respect and understanding, they may like you. In China, you may not know where you stand since they are not straightforward in communication. You need to look for the signs.

On the other hand, if a hooker rejects you, you will know it. She will blatantly refuse to do you. That said, you will certainly find hookers to do in China. However, it may not be the top quality you are after. Even in a mongering environment, the cream of the crop do not need to do foreigners. That is just the reality I'm afraid.

Just my POV.

OAH

[OldAsiaHand]

I appreciate your comment. I would not be offended, but when I was called a "laowai" by a Chinese from Beijing I asked the meaning and it feels odd to be called "foreigner" by Chinese residing in my country. People whom I met personally in China called me by my name.

Dash,

According to my understanding, Pig Fat is correct. Laowai is not a derogatory term at all.

Just my POV.

OAH