General Info - Nampa

[Nitr0]

1. I believe I did indicate both times that I was married, yes.

2. Best answer I have for that is, the women who are nonjudgmental and open-minded enough to go meet up with a married guy don't seem to have hangups about it. There was some cursory skepticism / good-nature ribbing from a couple of them but there didn't appear to be any sisterhood among any of them (well, except for the couple-few who turned out to be not interested and cited my being married as a deterrent).

Thanks for these great tips for us married guys.

Here's another question: Did you put your photo up on the site? If yes, were you concerned about an acquaintance seeing it? If no, I guess not having a profile photo did you no harm. (and I assume you sent a photo by private message before meeting?

(As an aside, I like this strategy of being able to signal that you are married up front and then (mostly) have women who are okay with that contact you. Personally, while married I have picked up a few girls in bars who became girlfriends / sexfriends, but doing so takes a lot of time, which as a married guy with young kids is at a real premium in my case. I use Aussiegaijin's strategy of "Don't broach the subject yourself; but don't lie if they ask, unless you are sure you can get away with it. " I have hit it off really well with some smoking hots girls in their 20's, only to have them lose interest when I admit to being married after being directly questioned. My experience is that, if you're picking up women in bars, after you admit you're married perhaps only 1 in 5 still go for it.).

[DueReflection]

Thank you for the great info. Two questions: 1. Do you indicate that you are married on the website or do you let them know when you meet them? 2. How do you move from I want to teach you English to I want a physical relationship?

Thanks in advance.

1. I believe I did indicate both times that I was married, yes.

2. Best answer I have for that is, the women who are nonjudgmental and open-minded enough to go meet up with a married guy don't seem to have hangups about it. There was some cursory skepticism / good-nature ribbing from a couple of them but there didn't appear to be any sisterhood among any of them (well, except for the couple-few who turned out to be not interested and cited my being married as a deterrent).

[AussieGaigin]

Thank you for the great info. Two questions: 1. Do you indicate that you are married on the website or do you let them know when you meet them? 2. How do you move from I want to teach you English to I want a physical relationship?

Thanks in advance.

1) Don't broach the subject yourself; but don't lie if they ask, unless you are sure you can get away with it.

2) Start teaching them English, the physical side should follow naturally (that is why they asked you in the first place).

Good hunting.

[Osaka3210]

Thank you for the great info. Two questions: 1. Do you indicate that you are married on the website or do you let them know when you meet them? 2. How do you move from I want to teach you English to I want a physical relationship?

Thanks in advance.

[DueReflection]

I realize your post is from well over a year ago but I had some insight to the WorldFriends site I wanted to share that could be helpful.

I have been living in Kansai for about a year, starting using WorldFriends about a month after arriving here. In my personal experience, when I constructed my profile, I was honest as possible (married but looking for something fun, informal; described in detail that I wasn't just looking for a one-nighter. Listed my bio in both English and Japanese). Barely got a 'smile' from other members; did meet one housewife from Osaka and got a BJ from her in a karaoke room first time we met but she is in her mid-50's (which I have no problem with) but nothing to write home about. Deleted the profile.

Next profile I wrote up I listed as few details as possible; checked off as few boxes as possible. Described myself as strictly looking for language exchange / expressed willingness to give English lessons.

And somehow the floodgates opened.

Also, it was worth it to spring for the membership (after getting a bunch of 'smiles' I chose the 30-day option) as once I was able to send private messages I had far more latitude. Again, a lot of 40-50+ ladies so if you're dead set on meeting a 25 yr old then maybe it's not such a great site after all. Me? I am in my mid-40's and prefer someone around my age (or older if they look good).

I personally met 8 different women the first five months and ended up sleeping with 6 of them. Funny, the two who weren't on board were early 30's and looking for serious relationship, etc. , one was a single mother (pass). I had to slow my roll though, as some of you married guys already know, it's a challenge being able to carve out enough free time for yourself and after the first couple of months the 'oh I got lost in Sannomiya' excuse was wearing thin, especially with Map, apps, etc. , being a thumb tap away.

Each new date seemed to be better looking than the last; was seeing an extremely attractive woman, who, is gorgeous and was another who was open to the white devil's love hotel intro date pkg. Really liked her a lot but things fizzled -- I lost patience as she spoke hardly any English, and for some reason was unwilling to utilize the language app on our cell phones. Plus she never paid for *anything* so after a couple months' love hotel / dinner expenditures I cut her off.

I finally settled on one GF that I am still seeing to this day (met in February). While she is in her mid-40's, speaks perfectly good English (she has a translation services gig during the day), is smoking hot, adventurous and she recently got on a 'I want to see what I look like sucking your see**k' jaunt -- even went so far as to buy a tripod for the occasions.

In general, I have lucked out on that site for certain as I seem to have attracted nihonjin women with more than ample breastesses (not a big fan of the 90-lb. Twig arm sect). If the well ever goes dry, first site I will be back on will be that one.

Hope this helps.

Dating sites have been in Japan. On other sites I kill it, but in Japan its a lot of work. Finally got JC working for me. I have about 10 girls who want to meet, but nothing under 30. It is a process though.

World friends has sucked ass for me. I am getting nothing there. I tried so many different approaches and still nothing.

All in all I will be pretty good I think when I get there in Feb. Still though I am looking forward to hitting the bars and clubs to see what I can stir up.

[Member #4495]

Hey new to tokyo. Been trying online but it's not happening. Message me if you need a wingman.

[Member #4495]

Spent the cash and have been working this and pof and dateinasia hard. I'm getting nothing but air.

Dating sites have been in Japan. On other sites I kill it, but in Japan its a lot of work. Finally got JC working for me. I have about 10 girls who want to meet, but nothing under 30. It is a process though.

World friends has sucked ass for me. I am getting nothing there. I tried so many different approaches and still nothing.

All in all I will be pretty good I think when I get there in Feb. Still though I am looking forward to hitting the bars and clubs to see what I can stir up.

[AussieGaigin]

This seems to be a common occurrence, if a girl likes you she will make it obvious.

You just have to weigh up the possibility of conflicts resulting from your working relationship with the girl, esp if the relationship goes pear shaped.

But a lot of J-girls are happy with a one night stand and will forget it happened by the next day. As long as you don't pursue things into an ongoing relationship, you should be fine.

[Member #4328]

I've been to a few parties where the beer has been flowing and a J -lovely sitting next to me has rubbed her beautiful legs against me. One put her the twins on my arm, that was another turn on. I don't like getting a woody at work.

But recently a colleague rubbed up against me at a meeting. It was nice, but I won't pursue. You guys have any stories like this? I bet you do!

A client put her breast on my arm on purpose while I was checking some papers of hers. Nice!

Men seem to use words to reel in the women while many women use their bodies. I don't mind at all!

[Kerfuffle]

Thanks guys for the replies. Not sure what I will do in the end. But good to hear what you have to say. And yes I should read the Nampa section more.

I do have opportunities, but often they are at work, and I don't want to do anything there. Too much risk. Anyway it is food for thought! Arigatoo!

Doesn't need to (or necessarily should) be at work; in fact, if you are in a medium-to-larger city, opportunities can flourish as you make them, in various circumstances about town. Just got to poke around, as they say, and uncover or create opportunity where you might not have otherwise considered or thought about. Gambatte!

[Member #4328]

Agree with this 100%.

There are so many opportunities for freebies, I would never consider putting time or money into P4 P.

Thanks guys for the replies. Not sure what I will do in the end. But good to hear what you have to say. And yes I should read the Nampa section more.

I do have opportunities, but often they are at work, and I don't want to do anything there. Too much risk. Anyway it is food for thought! Arigatoo!

[Ram Jam]

Yes, it really is possible to get a sex friend in Japan. I have had a few over the past years. I have no confidence in pick up girls (Nampa) in person. I have pulled them all online using various sites like Craigslist, Happymail, and Metropolis.

Basically if you keep posting ads someone will bite. Some are just upfront in their first reply to you that they are looking for a sex friend and you can meet them and go directly to a hotel. Some are more coy and you have to go on a normal date first. If you are single it is very easy, if you are married (and not lying) it is more difficult because about half will not want to meet you if you are married.

I have a long term friend for more than a year that I met on happy mail. I had also lined up a date from Ashley Madison once, but I cancelled at the last minute because I had too many girls at the time.

Though I will warn you that a sex friend is not necessarily the cheapest and certainly not the most stress free option. They can tend to get demanding if you don't email / LINE them enough each day etc. Also I learned you have to approach a sex friend differently than P4P. For P4P you can just lay back and let the woman service you or tell what to do. My sex friends have been more picky about what you do and often want you to take the lead and dominate them etc. I had one that always complained that I was not rough enough (like her old boyfriend was) which led to a case of performance anxiety for a few months.

[AussieGaigin]

Three words (well, five, actually):

Have game;

Nampa;

And cultivate!

/..../

For refresher tips and ideas, RTFF here in the Nampa threads just like you would any FR in various forums. There are some really good Japan-specific ideas and input with practical applications based on the experience of long-timers with particular expertise in this J-culture. Forget silly PUA stuff that appears all over the Internet with no Japan applicability, and just move forward as only you know best! Best of luck, keep us posted, and don't forget to avail yourself of everyone's help and ask for feedback if need be!

Agree with this 100%.

There are so many opportunities for freebies, I would never consider putting time or money into P4 P.

[Kerfuffle]

Guys I know this has been talked about before, but I wanted to ask and see what new places or online SNS sites there are for finding such a woman.

P4 P costs are adding up, and I feel concerned about catching something horrible at some point. Maybe I worry about that too much. Many have said it is difficult to catch something if you are careful, use condoms etc.

Some of you guys I know have not one, but many sex friends. I am relatively good looking for my age. In my 40's.

Can I find a sex friend? If so how, and where?

I would like something long term and I don't mind going out on dates and not having sex everytime.

Advice please gentleman.

Three words (well, five, actually):

Have game;

Nampa;

And cultivate!

No offense meant in any way, and not to be flippant, but you do need to get out of any self-limiting ruts that may be boxing you in (that's the "having a bit of game" part; you don't have to be anywhere near Brad Pitt, but you do need confidence, which girls/women can smell the absence of from a mile away).

Then nampa it. Never mind any other environmental or local factors or other people or distractions, just chat 'them up (the targets you seek out and are determined to land, just like fishing) to the best of your ability in any variety of given situations, J or E.

And finally, cultivate what you've reaped and sown. Not to place added pressure on your shoulders, but at the end of the day, it's really up to you, both to initiate as well as to maintain the relationships that you and no one else have created.

And I'm not even talking Ashley Madison, which I see as superfluous and unnecessary, both personally and for the nampa scene overall in Japan. When I posted that vice.com Ashley Madison article here last year, I said as much at the time, but added it would be interesting to see how it panned out. Well, more power to anyone who's tried and succeeded with it, but I would submit that when you get down to it, the anecdotal accounts you've read here of Ashley Madison demonstrate that Ashley Madison's only interests are to and for itself, focused on acquiring punters' money, which, like any other Internet-based dating/hookup site that has ever been mentioned on these pages and has run its course over time, I'd say operates counter to your interest as well as that of the art of nampa in Japan.

For refresher tips and ideas, RTFF here in the Nampa threads just like you would any FR in various forums. There are some really good Japan-specific ideas and input with practical applications based on the experience of long-timers with particular expertise in this J-culture. Forget silly PUA stuff that appears all over the Internet with no Japan applicability, and just move forward as only you know best! Best of luck, keep us posted, and don't forget to avail yourself of everyone's help and ask for feedback if need be!

[Member #4328]

Guys I know this has been talked about before, but I wanted to ask and see what new places or online SNS sites there are for finding such a woman.

P4 P costs are adding up, and I feel concerned about catching something horrible at some point. Maybe I worry about that too much. Many have said it is difficult to catch something if you are careful, use condoms etc.

Some of you guys I know have not one, but many sex friends. I am relatively good looking for my age. In my 40's.

Can I find a sex friend? If so how, and where?

I would like something long term and I don't mind going out on dates and not having sex everytime.

Advice please gentleman.