General Info - Nampa

[AussieGaigin]

VFM. Value for money? Aussiegaigin, thanks for your reply! I'm tiring of the P4 P scene at the moment and thinking of other options. Wanted something fun, cheaper and long term. P4 P can really be expensive! Hoping Ashley Madison in Japan.

Was another option. I am a free member but would need to pay to really see if it works or not. I want a FWB relationship or in Japan - "Sex Friendo".

VFM = View to Friendship, Marriage (common term in dating sites adverts here).

I am still partly "attached" so I am limited in what I can do at the moment, but I'll keep looking.

[Member #4328]

Have not been too impressed with what has been on offer here.

My "profile" was for an older lady living in the Sydney area, looking for a casual FWB relationship.

For the first couple of months I got regular new member notifications about women who met none of my requirements (young girls, hundreds of kilometres away, looking for relationship, etc).

These notifications have now dried up, so I have to log into my account regularly to see new matches (at least these do comply for age and location). But still most are looking for VFM relationships, so outside my scope.

There are a couple of recent additions looking for casual encounters, but I haven't had a chance to follow up.

I guess overall I am not too impressed withe service, maybe my expectations are too restrictive?

VFM. Value for money? Aussiegaigin, thanks for your reply! I'm tiring of the P4 P scene at the moment and thinking of other options. Wanted something fun, cheaper and long term. P4 P can really be expensive! Hoping Ashley Madison in Japan.

Was another option. I am a free member but would need to pay to really see if it works or not. I want a FWB relationship or in Japan - "Sex Friendo".

[AussieGaigin]

Have not been too impressed with what has been on offer here.

My "profile" was for an older lady living in the Sydney area, looking for a casual FWB relationship.

For the first couple of months I got regular new member notifications about women who met none of my requirements (young girls, hundreds of kilometres away, looking for relationship, etc).

These notifications have now dried up, so I have to log into my account regularly to see new matches (at least these do comply for age and location). But still most are looking for VFM relationships, so outside my scope.

There are a couple of recent additions looking for casual encounters, but I haven't had a chance to follow up.

I guess overall I am not too impressed withe service, maybe my expectations are too restrictive?

[Member #4328]

Haven't tried the J site, and only just joined in Australia, and here I think a message is about 5 credits.

Aussiegaigin, how was Ashley Madison in Australia? I imagine it is similar to here, so I am interested in your experience with it in Oz.

[Member #4328]

I joined Ashley Madison last year, paid for 100 credits, and sent several messages, only a few of which I received responses for. At least one of those seemed like a "Sakura" as she just wrote general messages and finally stopped writing after I began to tell her I really wanted to meet. (I can read and write Japanese fairly well.).

The problem is that even though their site clearly states it's 5 points for each letter sent, they charged me TEN points for each one. I complained about this, and after a couple of mails to them, they reimbursed me for part of those 10 points. However, thereafter, they charged me 10 points for every first contact, and then didn't respond to my complaints again till after I'd sent 2-3 messages to them about it. They finally contacted me and gave me some crap about how the message is 5 points, but sending it is also 5 points, so the total is 10!! Absolutely nothing about that in their website.

After this, I wanted to quite the site, but the bastards also charge to delete you from the site, so I just did a "hide" thing where my profile doesn't show up to anyone except those I sent messages to. Later, they automatically charged my credit card for anther batch of points which I most definitely did not ask for, and again, I had to send them 2-3 messages complaining ferociously about it before they finally credited it back to my card.

Sorry to hear about your negative experience. I have been wondering about Ashley Madison. I posted a question about it at another forum. I started thinking about it, because a friend of a friend has had a good experience with it. He is married to a Japanese.

Doesn't want to get divorced, and meets married women in Japan. He likes it. And says it is much cheaper than P4 P overall. I think he has a very detailed profile, and from what I am reading it seems you have to have a detailed profile and those are the profiles you should look for too. I haven't done this much. Hence my question. But good to know the good and that bad, thank you! Has anyone else used Ashley Madison in Japan? What was / is your experience with it?

I'm getting a bit tired of P4 P lately and like the idea of a bit of romance with my desert LOL!

[Inakajin]

Haven't tried the J site, and only just joined in Australia, and here I think a message is about 5 credits.

I joined Ashley Madison last year, paid for 100 credits, and sent several messages, only a few of which I received responses for. At least one of those seemed like a "Sakura" as she just wrote general messages and finally stopped writing after I began to tell her I really wanted to meet. (I can read and write Japanese fairly well.).

The problem is that even though their site clearly states it's 5 points for each letter sent, they charged me TEN points for each one. I complained about this, and after a couple of mails to them, they reimbursed me for part of those 10 points. However, thereafter, they charged me 10 points for every first contact, and then didn't respond to my complaints again till after I'd sent 2-3 messages to them about it. They finally contacted me and gave me some crap about how the message is 5 points, but sending it is also 5 points, so the total is 10!! Absolutely nothing about that in their website.

After this, I wanted to quite the site, but the bastards also charge to delete you from the site, so I just did a "hide" thing where my profile doesn't show up to anyone except those I sent messages to. Later, they automatically charged my credit card for anther batch of points which I most definitely did not ask for, and again, I had to send them 2-3 messages complaining ferociously about it before they finally credited it back to my card.

[AussieGaigin]

Perhaps try Metropolis or CraigList (or other similar) and offer your services as a "tour guide" in your area.

I got a girl in Tokyo off Metropolis a few years ago; she later came here to Sydney for a holiday, and after that she sent a few of her friends here at various times for me to look after.

I was a tour guide by profession, but these extras were a good diversion.

[Jesterl]

I miss Japan and its ladies. To substitute, I've been using Philipina / Thailand dating sites, like DateinAsia. Though great, these girls can't get visas to visit. I would much rather target Japanese women. I welcome MILFS (which for obvious reasons are more open to visit), and Japanese have visas and vacations. I live in a tourist spot in USA. Any good sites to pick up women like this? Metropolis ads have been pretty miss since I moved out of NYC.

Give a little; it's the holidays and not everyone can get out of USA!

Thanks in advance!

[CodeX]

Has anyone had any luck with Happymail in Kansai?

It works well in Tokyo, managed a few nice looking girls for a reasonable price. ¥15,000 or under.

I haven't had any luck in Kansai, the ¥15,000 girls are average at best.

Any happy stories out there?

Or another good site?

[AussieGaigin]

Is there anyone who has tried this Ashly Madison in Japan?

I can write in Japanese so have no problem navigating.

I set up a profile but have not paid for any credits?

Is each message like one credit used?

Haven't tried the J site, and only just joined in Australia, and here I think a message is about 5 credits.

[Sudsy]

In Japanese the word for a threesome is clearly "3 P". But when you speak Japanese, how do you say this? "three pea", "san pea", "mitsu pea", or some other way?

Thanks

San pii, but if you're at a soapland it's referred to as "nirin".

[Minatoku Man]

In Japanese the word for a threesome is clearly "3 P". But when you speak Japanese, how do you say this? "three pea", "san pea", "mitsu pea", or some other way?

Thanks

[Jp Slicky]

Is there anyone who has tried this Ashly Madison in Japan?

I can write in Japanese so have no problem navigating.

I set up a profile but have not paid for any credits?

Is each message like one credit used?

[Jesterl]

The more the veil of Japan is removed, the worse it is for that society and us. Japanese women will unravel and more chumps will come to Japan, which lets face it, it isn't what it used to be and I haven't been going there for that long. There are more places in Asia one can bank more money in savings for not much less chick quality.

I hear Ashley Madison is suing the S. Korean government under WTO laws because SK goverment made the website illegal. I notice the owner is putting much money into that survey. HE hit on a characteristic of Japanese culture hidden from most Westerners.

I didn't think Japan really needed Ashley Madison, as the women did quite fine on their own before its arrival IMHO. But what the heck. Guess it opens up new and evolving nampa opportunities for enterprising dudes (though it might facilitate more hookups, I personally wouldn't be into paying money to a website to communicate with women one could traditionally nampa for free). Just look at it as an interesting article, despite the company's vested interest in its business model.

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/how...=homepage-lede

How Ashley Madison Pulled Back the Curtain on Japan's 'Infidelity Economy'.

Written by.

JONATHAN DEHART.

June 16,2014 // 02:24 PM EST.

Image: Ashley Madison.

Sex in Japan has made a splash in the media recently, this time via the explosion of Ashley Madison, the world's largest "affair dating" website. Ashley Madison's success in Japan has pulled back the curtain on the widespread adultery in the country, where the approach to marriage seems to accommodate infidelity.

According to Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman, the site's success world-round is proof of a simple, if hard to accept, fact of humanity: "We're not monogamous. We pretend to be. We pay lip service, but we're not, and we have proof that we're not. So let's stop pretending," Biderman told Motherboard.

Love or loathe him, Biderman knows what he's talking about. A friendly former lawyer with quick answers, "the king of infidelity" dispenses facts on the widespread breakdown of traditional marriage with good cheer. To date, more than 25 million members across 38 countries have crafted profiles on Ashley Madison, complete with their age, physical traits, location, and a description of what they're seeking. Men pay for credits to write emails, initiate chats, and send virtual gifts to women, while women join and navigate the site for free. The model is working; last year the company raked in a profit of $40 million, while reaping a revenue of $125 million, up from $100 million the previous year.

The popularity of the controversial matchmaking site is especially explosive in Japan, Ashley Madison's fastest growing market worldwide. Japan broke one million members on the affair site faster than any other country: in just eight months. There are now over a million men and women with profiles on the clandestine hookup site in Japan, a country that prides itself on social status and proper appearances.

"Infidelity exists in every culture, but there are nuances. And they're sizable," said Biderman. But nowhere are these nuances more pronounced than in Japan, where the "infidelity economy," as Biderman calls it, thrives alongside a culture that strongly emphasizes marriage and raising children.

"Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. " ​.

The historical roots of Japan's approach to marriage can be clearly traced. According to Jennifer Robertson, Professor of Anthropology and the History of Art at the University of Michigan, "monogamy was introduced in the first modern Constitution / Civil Code of 1890 after the fall of the feudal shogunate in 1868 and the formation of a constitutional monarchy thereafter. ".

Until the penning of the nation's postwar Constitution of 1946, adultery was solely defined as a crime committed by married women. "In addition to giving free reign to men's sexual desires, this one-sided, punitive definition of adultery was rationalized as a way to prevent confusion about the paternity of a married woman's child," Robertson said.

That's neither fair nor a recipe for romance. But in Japan, Robertson says, romance "is not at all the main motive for the legal institution of marriage, which brings two extended families into alliance, enables the marriage partners to achieve 'social adulthood' and is the only sanctioned context for reproduction, which in turn ensures the continuity of the household lineage. ".

This intensely practical attitude towards marriage often confounds the Western media. From coverage of the "herbivore men" trend to the BBC's documentary No Sex Please, We're Japanese, a widespread meme suggests Japanese have all but stopped doing the deed and are content to sit back and watch their population implode.

The reality on the street tells a vastly different story. Standing outside any one of the nation's estimated 30,000 "love hotels," the unending stream of couplessome married, some notdoing their best to slip in and out undetected is telling. Or stand on a random corner of Kabukicho, Shinjuku's red light district, and watch throngs of tipsy salarymen file into establishments pandering to everything from flirtatious chatter (hostess clubs) on down the erotic spectrum to "soapland" establishments and sexual massage parlors that make up the country's massive and highly visible multibillion-dollar paid sex industry.

Photo: Kabukicho, a red light district in Shinjuku, Tokyo. Image: Wikimedia.

"I think Japanese culture has a really deep-seated desire to project one way but behave a different way," Biderman said. "Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. ".

Japan's approach to marriage as Biderman sees it, with its focus on practical matters over matters of passion, is in some ways "more evolved" than elsewhere. In his estimation, this is a good thing and could even provide a model worth emulating.

"Japan has a chance to be the breakthrough society," he said. "They have a chance more than any other society to find a successful platform for marriage where marriage is about economics, raising kids. It's not about sexual entertainment. That's secondary. ".

A whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

The divorce rate in Japan hums around 27 percent, about half the rate in the US. And Ashley Madison's internal survey found that the number one reason most Japanese respondents gave for seeking out an affair was "not enough sex" in their relationships. Fifty-five percent of women and 51 percent of men named this as their impetus for joining up on the site.

Combine those two stats and you can start to see the role extramarital trysts play in the culture. What's more, couples in Japan tend to feel less guilty about infidelity than other parts of the world. The Ashley Madison's survey found that of the 3,500 respondents from Japan, only 2 percent of women and 8 percent of men felt pangs of guilt for their flings, compared with 8 percent of women and 19 percent of men worldwide.

It's worth noting that some experts are critical of the site's internal "guilt" survey, pointing out that its users are making a premeditated choice to cheat after all, so are more likely to report low levels of guilt. But the survey findings reflect the country's comfort level with casual sex outside of marriage.

Increasingly, that's true for both men and women, Maya Yamashita, a Tokyo-based researcher on romance and sexuality and author of the books Tokyo: Departing for Global Love and New Rising Sun: The Future of Multicultural Japan, explained.

"I recently talked to four friends who are housewives and all of them are having affairs. Usually after they have kids they become interested," she told me. "And they don't feel bad about it. They are not thinking of divorcing. They think that affairs are positive things for their marriages. " The numbers support that theory. Ashley Madison's survey found a whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

Religion likely plays a role in Japan's dichotomous cultural attitude toward sex. "Japan is of course not a Judeo-Christian society, and the morality governing ideas about sex and sexuality is very different. Shintoism celebrates fertility and sex, and Buddhism is relatively unconcerned with these issues," Gabriele Koch, a PhD candidate in Anthropology at the University of Michigan who is finishing her dissertation on the Japanese sex industry, told me.

Just how big is Japan's sex industry?

Koch first dug up the official stats as compiled by the police. Legal sex-industry businesses, which have been licensed since the time of the Tokugawa shogunatefrom the 17th to 19th centuryare located in the correct zoning and do not offer penile-vaginal intercourse or services by minors or foreigners without proper working visas. Japan was home to 30,969 such businesses last year, a combo of fixed locations and "delivery" services.

"My own ballpark estimate would be that there are at least a quarter million women working legally nationwide," Koch said. "Of course, these numbers don't account for underground businesses. The Japan Subculture Research Center estimates the country's sex industry earns between 1 trillion ($9. 8 billion) to as high as 2. 5 trillion yen ($24.4 billion), with some sex workers earning 10 million yen ($97,574) annually.

With sex for sale on this scale, it shouldn't come as much surprise that morality on the issue has traditionally revolved around "containing excess rather than prohibiting male indulgence," Koch explained. "It's overdoing it that's seen as a problem. Of course, there's also long been a double-standardmale sexuality is indulged while women's sexuality is policed and seen as belonging to the household. ".

This may gradually be changing. Today, "Japan tolerates a huge number of host clubs, which serve sexualized entertainment to women," said James Farrer, a professor of sociology at Sophia University in Tokyo who researches sexuality in Japan and China. "So I think there are no specific obstacles to women seeking affairs in Japan, more than there would be in other societies. It is quite a liberal society for women. ".

With the arrival of Ashley Madison, women have a chance to do what men have long done in red light districts around the country. And judging by the numbers, many are doing just that.

This may seem to suggest that Japan is at ease with and open about its sexuality, but it's not so simple. Maintaining proper appearances in Japan is crucial, and the success of Ashley Madison in the country is putting something out in the open that is usually kept hidden. Despite the success of the business, the desire to keep up appearances saw Google Japan refusing to run ads for Ashley Madison out of respect for perceived cultural norms.

The dichotomy creates a conflict. But there's an opinion that if Japan would just make peace with the way it handles marriage, it might realize that extramarital sex is not such a bad thing. Although it's not going to fly in many countries on moral grounds, some may even consider it an approach worthy of consideration.

"Of course it's not the ideal situation to have an affair," Yamashita said. "But in Japan, given the social constraints at play, it seems to be the best way to balance the situation for many. ".

TOPICS: culture, Japan, Ashley Madison, infidelity, Marriage, affair website.

[AussieGaigin]

I'd look for places like "Irish Pubs" around railway stations, usually lots of OLs there to choose from.

I found them better than "meat market" bars in Roppongi.