General Info - Nampa

[Sushi Galore]

I just posted this in the Tokyo thread, but since it involves nampa, I also post it here.

After being out of the country for a while, I am back in Tokyo for a business trip and wanted to go to one of my favorite nampa spots of before: Bar Heartland at the bottom of Roppongi Hils. But, alas, it apparently shut down earlier this year without reopening elsewhere!

This time I am only here for a week, thus my rather urgent question out of ignorance about the more recent scene: What would be a similar place, trendy at the moment, where one would find a similar female crowd to hang out on week-day evenings and occasionally pic-up a willing OL for some fun at my hotel?

Much thanks in advance for any hint in that direction.

Sushi.

[Kerfuffle]

I didn't think Japan really needed Ashley Madison, as the women did quite fine on their own before its arrival IMHO. But what the heck. Guess it opens up new and evolving nampa opportunities for enterprising dudes (though it might facilitate more hookups, I personally wouldn't be into paying money to a website to communicate with women one could traditionally nampa for free). Just look at it as an interesting article, despite the company's vested interest in its business model.

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/how...=homepage-lede

How Ashley Madison Pulled Back the Curtain on Japan's 'Infidelity Economy'.

Written by.

JONATHAN DEHART.

June 16,2014 // 02:24 PM EST.

Image: Ashley Madison.

Sex in Japan has made a splash in the media recently, this time via the explosion of Ashley Madison, the world's largest "affair dating" website. Ashley Madison's success in Japan has pulled back the curtain on the widespread adultery in the country, where the approach to marriage seems to accommodate infidelity.

According to Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman, the site's success world-round is proof of a simple, if hard to accept, fact of humanity: "We're not monogamous. We pretend to be. We pay lip service, but we're not, and we have proof that we're not. So let's stop pretending," Biderman told Motherboard.

Love or loathe him, Biderman knows what he's talking about. A friendly former lawyer with quick answers, "the king of infidelity" dispenses facts on the widespread breakdown of traditional marriage with good cheer. To date, more than 25 million members across 38 countries have crafted profiles on Ashley Madison, complete with their age, physical traits, location, and a description of what they're seeking. Men pay for credits to write emails, initiate chats, and send virtual gifts to women, while women join and navigate the site for free. The model is working; last year the company raked in a profit of $40 million, while reaping a revenue of $125 million, up from $100 million the previous year.

The popularity of the controversial matchmaking site is especially explosive in Japan, Ashley Madison's fastest growing market worldwide. Japan broke one million members on the affair site faster than any other country: in just eight months. There are now over a million men and women with profiles on the clandestine hookup site in Japan, a country that prides itself on social status and proper appearances.

"Infidelity exists in every culture, but there are nuances. And they're sizable," said Biderman. But nowhere are these nuances more pronounced than in Japan, where the "infidelity economy," as Biderman calls it, thrives alongside a culture that strongly emphasizes marriage and raising children.

"Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. " ​.

The historical roots of Japan's approach to marriage can be clearly traced. According to Jennifer Robertson, Professor of Anthropology and the History of Art at the University of Michigan, "monogamy was introduced in the first modern Constitution / Civil Code of 1890 after the fall of the feudal shogunate in 1868 and the formation of a constitutional monarchy thereafter. ".

Until the penning of the nation's postwar Constitution of 1946, adultery was solely defined as a crime committed by married women. "In addition to giving free reign to men's sexual desires, this one-sided, punitive definition of adultery was rationalized as a way to prevent confusion about the paternity of a married woman's child," Robertson said.

That's neither fair nor a recipe for romance. But in Japan, Robertson says, romance "is not at all the main motive for the legal institution of marriage, which brings two extended families into alliance, enables the marriage partners to achieve 'social adulthood' and is the only sanctioned context for reproduction, which in turn ensures the continuity of the household lineage. ".

This intensely practical attitude towards marriage often confounds the Western media. From coverage of the "herbivore men" trend to the BBC's documentary No Sex Please, We're Japanese, a widespread meme suggests Japanese have all but stopped doing the deed and are content to sit back and watch their population implode.

The reality on the street tells a vastly different story. Standing outside any one of the nation's estimated 30,000 "love hotels," the unending stream of couplessome married, some notdoing their best to slip in and out undetected is telling. Or stand on a random corner of Kabukicho, Shinjuku's red light district, and watch throngs of tipsy salarymen file into establishments pandering to everything from flirtatious chatter (hostess clubs) on down the erotic spectrum to "soapland" establishments and sexual massage parlors that make up the country's massive and highly visible multibillion-dollar paid sex industry.

Photo: Kabukicho, a red light district in Shinjuku, Tokyo. Image: Wikimedia.

"I think Japanese culture has a really deep-seated desire to project one way but behave a different way," Biderman said. "Japan actually has a healthy appetite for sex. They just go about it in a really dichotomous kind of way and make it hard for themselves. ".

Japan's approach to marriage as Biderman sees it, with its focus on practical matters over matters of passion, is in some ways "more evolved" than elsewhere. In his estimation, this is a good thing and could even provide a model worth emulating.

"Japan has a chance to be the breakthrough society," he said. "They have a chance more than any other society to find a successful platform for marriage where marriage is about economics, raising kids. It's not about sexual entertainment. That's secondary. ".

A whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

The divorce rate in Japan hums around 27 percent, about half the rate in the US. And Ashley Madison's internal survey found that the number one reason most Japanese respondents gave for seeking out an affair was "not enough sex" in their relationships. Fifty-five percent of women and 51 percent of men named this as their impetus for joining up on the site.

Combine those two stats and you can start to see the role extramarital trysts play in the culture. What's more, couples in Japan tend to feel less guilty about infidelity than other parts of the world. The Ashley Madison's survey found that of the 3,500 respondents from Japan, only 2 percent of women and 8 percent of men felt pangs of guilt for their flings, compared with 8 percent of women and 19 percent of men worldwide.

It's worth noting that some experts are critical of the site's internal "guilt" survey, pointing out that its users are making a premeditated choice to cheat after all, so are more likely to report low levels of guilt. But the survey findings reflect the country's comfort level with casual sex outside of marriage.

Increasingly, that's true for both men and women, Maya Yamashita, a Tokyo-based researcher on romance and sexuality and author of the books Tokyo: Departing for Global Love and New Rising Sun: The Future of Multicultural Japan, explained.

"I recently talked to four friends who are housewives and all of them are having affairs. Usually after they have kids they become interested," she told me. "And they don't feel bad about it. They are not thinking of divorcing. They think that affairs are positive things for their marriages. " The numbers support that theory. Ashley Madison's survey found a whopping 84 percent of Japanese women and 61 percent of Japanese men considered their extramarital liaisons beneficial to their marriages.

Religion likely plays a role in Japan's dichotomous cultural attitude toward sex. "Japan is of course not a Judeo-Christian society, and the morality governing ideas about sex and sexuality is very different. Shintoism celebrates fertility and sex, and Buddhism is relatively unconcerned with these issues," Gabriele Koch, a PhD candidate in Anthropology at the University of Michigan who is finishing her dissertation on the Japanese sex industry, told me.

Just how big is Japan's sex industry?

Koch first dug up the official stats as compiled by the police. Legal sex-industry businesses, which have been licensed since the time of the Tokugawa shogunatefrom the 17th to 19th centuryare located in the correct zoning and do not offer penile-vaginal intercourse or services by minors or foreigners without proper working visas. Japan was home to 30,969 such businesses last year, a combo of fixed locations and "delivery" services.

"My own ballpark estimate would be that there are at least a quarter million women working legally nationwide," Koch said. "Of course, these numbers don't account for underground businesses. The Japan Subculture Research Center estimates the country's sex industry earns between 1 trillion ($9. 8 billion) to as high as 2. 5 trillion yen ($24.4 billion), with some sex workers earning 10 million yen ($97,574) annually.

With sex for sale on this scale, it shouldn't come as much surprise that morality on the issue has traditionally revolved around "containing excess rather than prohibiting male indulgence," Koch explained. "It's overdoing it that's seen as a problem. Of course, there's also long been a double-standardmale sexuality is indulged while women's sexuality is policed and seen as belonging to the household. ".

This may gradually be changing. Today, "Japan tolerates a huge number of host clubs, which serve sexualized entertainment to women," said James Farrer, a professor of sociology at Sophia University in Tokyo who researches sexuality in Japan and China. "So I think there are no specific obstacles to women seeking affairs in Japan, more than there would be in other societies. It is quite a liberal society for women. ".

With the arrival of Ashley Madison, women have a chance to do what men have long done in red light districts around the country. And judging by the numbers, many are doing just that.

This may seem to suggest that Japan is at ease with and open about its sexuality, but it's not so simple. Maintaining proper appearances in Japan is crucial, and the success of Ashley Madison in the country is putting something out in the open that is usually kept hidden. Despite the success of the business, the desire to keep up appearances saw Google Japan refusing to run ads for Ashley Madison out of respect for perceived cultural norms.

The dichotomy creates a conflict. But there's an opinion that if Japan would just make peace with the way it handles marriage, it might realize that extramarital sex is not such a bad thing. Although it's not going to fly in many countries on moral grounds, some may even consider it an approach worthy of consideration.

"Of course it's not the ideal situation to have an affair," Yamashita said. "But in Japan, given the social constraints at play, it seems to be the best way to balance the situation for many. ".

TOPICS: culture, Japan, Ashley Madison, infidelity, Marriage, affair website.

[Minatoku Man]

Interesting Nampa video. Involving locals only, probably not viewable in Japan.

http://www.redtube.com/467812

[AussieGaigin]

I feel going out alone (at night) is not the best way. I think having a wingman, relaxes the women. However during the daytime:


Here is my mini, two yens worth of advice. I am an old fart. Early 50's. But have been told time and again I look younger. Sometimes that is just flattery I am sure. Anyway, I really feel this works. I know it does. For the day game, the easiest way is to either.

Strike up a conversation on the train and ask something like "Does this train go to Shinjuku?" Though I speak Japanese pretty well, I may even start with, "Excuse me, do you speak English?" If not I switch into Japanese. Sometimes the attractive lady on the train will turn into a date that day or you can get her number. Another way is on the street. Same scenario: "Excuse, where is Shinbashi Station?" - as you know full well she is walking straight to Shinbashi Station so can talk with her on the way for the next.

5-10 minutes. I think this is a great way. Years ago I used ads on the net, but this way is great as you see the lady right in front of you and can decide if she is attractive or not. Try it out!

I was in the same age band, with the same "identification" problem. Ask the girl to guess my age and she would say 40's.

I used the same line, ask for directions; or stand in a prominent spot with a map and a "lost" look, doesn't take long for a girl to ask if you need help. Easy to pass if you don't like the looks (or it is a guy).

I've worked in reverse down here at home. See a girl looking at a map and offer assistance. If I think there are prospects, just offer to escort her to where she is going, then she owes you a favor in return.

Happy hunting.

AG.

[Member #4328]

This is my first post, I'm a long time lurker on this forum.

First I would really like to thank everyone for the reports and insights, this forum has been a great resource for me so far. I am looking for a wing man, be it once of the long term mentors in this forum or a complete newbie who just arrived in Japan.

A little bit about me: German guy in his late 20s living in Tokyo. Fluent in Japanese, English, German. Greatly enjoy my job and life in Japan in general. I had some success picking up girls in clubs, but admittedly it is rather hard not to score there.

My problem is that I have no day game at all. I am struggling with approach anxiety, and just cannot get myself to talk to girls on the street. This is why I would like to find someone I can team up with.

I know that it is better to go out alone, but for the moment it does not work for me.

I would be really glad to get a PM from someone!

I feel going out alone (at night) is not the best way. I think having a wingman, relaxes the women. However during the daytime:


Here is my mini, two yens worth of advice. I am an old fart. Early 50's. But have been told time and again I look younger. Sometimes that is just flattery I am sure. Anyway, I really feel this works. I know it does. For the day game, the easiest way is to either.

Strike up a conversation on the train and ask something like "Does this train go to Shinjuku?" Though I speak Japanese pretty well, I may even start with, "Excuse me, do you speak English?" If not I switch into Japanese. Sometimes the attractive lady on the train will turn into a date that day or you can get her number. Another way is on the street. Same scenario: "Excuse, where is Shinbashi Station?" - as you know full well she is walking straight to Shinbashi Station so can talk with her on the way for the next.

5-10 minutes. I think this is a great way. Years ago I used ads on the net, but this way is great as you see the lady right in front of you and can decide if she is attractive or not. Try it out!

[Cheap]

This is my first post, I'm a long time lurker on this forum.

I would be really glad to get a PM from someone!

Hi Cats,

PM me if you decide to upgrade your membership.

[CatsLikeJack]

This is my first post, I'm a long time lurker on this forum.

First I would really like to thank everyone for the reports and insights, this forum has been a great resource for me so far. I am looking for a wing man, be it once of the long term mentors in this forum or a complete newbie who just arrived in Japan.

A little bit about me: German guy in his late 20s living in Tokyo. Fluent in Japanese, English, German. Greatly enjoy my job and life in Japan in general. I had some success picking up girls in clubs, but admittedly it is rather hard not to score there.

My problem is that I have no day game at all. I am struggling with approach anxiety, and just cannot get myself to talk to girls on the street. This is why I would like to find someone I can team up with.

I know that it is better to go out alone, but for the moment it does not work for me.

I would be really glad to get a PM from someone!

[Jpn Dude]

Has anyone had any experience having sex in a Karaoke room?

I have heard that there are cameras in Karaoke rooms to catch people doing things they should not be doing?

My girl gets very excited when we fool around in a Karaoke room and I wonder how far we can take it. I don't want to get in any trouble with the staff or police.

I've never had intercourse in a karaoke room, but have had plenty of other play. A girl I met on Tagged gave me a nice blow job and swallowed on our first date. Same thing with a girl recently that I met from Skout. We started making out the second we got in the door. After the drinks arrived and made sure no one else came in, I fondled her while kissing, then undid her blouse and sucked on her DD's. She started rubbing my crotch and undid my pants. I splurged on her after 10-minutes of intense sucking.

During both times, I sort of kept my eye on the door of the room just in case. I've been member at Karaoke-kan and Big Echo chains for years and never noticed any camera besides the small one used in filming yourself sing. These are prominently placed in front of the TV and not turned on unless you select it via the remote control. Other karaoke shops like Ban-Ban, Uta-mura, Tetsu-jin do have security cameras (or decoys) and are placed on the ceiling and usually have a sign nearby telling you that they monitor for safety.

[Deltron]

Has anyone had any experience having sex in a Karaoke room?

I have heard that there are cameras in Karaoke rooms to catch people doing things they should not be doing?

My girl gets very excited when we fool around in a Karaoke room and I wonder how far we can take it. I don't want to get in any trouble with the staff or police.

From experience, I had a girl take her shirt off while I fondled with her tits in a Karaoke both (I had a mouthful) , and then had sex with another chick in one (she wore a shirt skirt and took it off to give me a ride). Both of which happened during our first date.

No security ever entered the room. I've made out with endless chicks in one, but I assume that'll always be ok.

Anyone else want to chime in?

[Ram Jam]

Has anyone had any experience having sex in a Karaoke room?

I have heard that there are cameras in Karaoke rooms to catch people doing things they should not be doing?

My girl gets very excited when we fool around in a Karaoke room and I wonder how far we can take it. I don't want to get in any trouble with the staff or police.

[Jpn Dude]

I agree with the other guy. Would you mind posting up that video of her?

I'm sorry but is there a chance you can DM or post a link to the big boned girl's video?

Hey guys. I'll try to find it online. To be honest, I don't even remember her online / fake / real name. Hahaha.

But I do have her on my LINE. I'll see if I can get more info on her somewhere. Wish me luck.

[Kabze]

No, you do not go home alone, you go home WITH blue balls!

I have seen these girls before in some pub.

Three of them.

Look very sexy, waiting for guys.

But, since there are three of them, I am not buying.

Experienced told me that if you want to go fishing, strike one fish at once.

[BionicMan]

I've heard this several times. They have a deal with the bar they take you to and get kickbacks on the drinks you buy. Spend a $1000 on champagne and you'll go home alone.

No, you do not go home alone, you go home WITH blue balls!

[AussieGaigin]

Had 3 Romanian girls try to pick me up. Pretty cute. So here was the problem. Since when do 3 girls try to pick me up. They wanted me to go to another bar with them. I declined and they pushed. One was all over me and said she really likes me. Maybe I am crazy but to good to be true. I didn't trust it and let them go, shiy like that doesn't just happen.

Anything involving Romanians should be treated with the greatest suspicion. You might be lucky to only get hit with a big bar tab.

[Japanguy]

Had 3 Romanian girls try to pick me up. Pretty cute. So here was the problem. Since when do 3 girls try to pick me up. They wanted me to go to another bar with them. I declined and they pushed. One was all over me and said she really likes me. Maybe I am crazy but to good to be true. I didn't trust it and let them go, shiy like that doesn't just happen.

I've heard this several times. They have a deal with the bar they take you to and get kickbacks on the drinks you buy. Spend a $1000 on champagne and you'll go home alone.