Pattaya Reports

[Ira Johnson]

Hi Bros;

I'm currently suffering in Pattaya, something I am unaccustomed to after three previous visits.

I am traveling with my best mate, who is not generally a monger but gleefully adopted the 'what happens in Pattaya stays in Pattaya' attitude. He's also less flush than I, and we are sort of traveling on his budget. Significantly less than mine, but hey I save money, right? We will also go to Phuket and Phi Phi while here.

I have a few questions I would like to throw out there. Then my report of night one:

1. What over the counter cold remedy do you use when here? I seem to have a cold since I stepped off the plane from cold rainy Shanghai. I've read about Tiffy.

2. Any recommendation on strong pain meds? Two ACL surgeries 20 years past plus an indulgent lifestyle rounding out my midsection has made my knees fill with firecrackers. Someone said really tough stuff can be had OTC here. Like Vicodin or Oxycontin. I don't know, I read about Tramadol and Temgesic. Thoughts?

3. VERY IMPORTANT. We need a cover story. Several friends are traveling to Thailand too, and we will run into them in Phuket. They are the judgmental type (Western women!) so we prefer to have report of a fictional first few days to cover the fact we were in Pattaya. WHat would you tell your wife / GF / priest / au pair? I was going to google to find a small beach town near BKK to use as a cover. But I think some of you may have some thoughts.

DAY 1.

Landed in BKK uneventfully. First time to travel here during high season / Chinese New Year. Taxi to Patts was great, thanks Mr Keak. However, my friend (who visited Patts years ago with his footballer buddies) refused to pre-book a room, insisting the Apex would have rooms. They did not, of course. After pounding the pavement a while we settled on Changthong House, recommended by a bro on here. I'm not thrilled with it and at 1350 (after a hard bargaining session) for the big room that was available, it's out of my buddy's budget. So, today includes looking again for a place.

After checking in we walked to Worldwide Agogo. I love that place. My crush was already in her street clothes prepared to go home with some other dude, so I had to give up on her. I saw a dancer with an amazing body and a gorgeous face, but she was a stunt performer. Placing an egg inside and. Well. Laying it. Over and over. Then she put the egg back in and lay flat on the floor, pounding her torso against the floor. She stood up, straddled a glass, and filled the glass with a cracked and running egg. I thought she looked amazing but. Something makes me not want to take home a stunt girl. Thoughts? Pussy control, etc?

We walked over to Tim Gogo (I think) on 2nd road where the music was awesome. AC / DC, Metallica, Billy Joel. One girl was particularly cute but refused to give me the time of day except to ask if I need another beer. My former take-away from there, Tai, looked awesome in long golden corn rows but was already attached to a young pimple-faced teen. She will make a man out of him I assure you.

I felt a massage happening on my neck and back, and it was quite nice. She was a bit older, tiny but with amazing eyes. She was drunk and a little melancholy, said her name was Tip. She wanted 1500LT plus the 800 barfine (let's keep discussion of whether I am a fool on bar fines and rates aside, shall we? I came prepared to purchase what I liked without too much hassle). I was with my pal and he had not found anyone, and Tip was not really my first choice. I lied and said I would come back. She kissed me deeply like a girlfriend and something sprang to attention.

As my pal and I walked out, he said, man, if you like her go back. There was that tiny one at Worldwide I liked, I will go get her. I hemmed and hawed about the price, then said fuck it, I will go for it. I went back and Tip was thrilled and deeply kissed me there.

While she was off changing, a voluptuous dance thrust her ass in my face. Coco, she said her name was (like 3/4 of the Chinese P4P girls I meet) and would I barfine her? I already made my commitment so I said no. Coco kissed me from the stage, her knee locked around a pole and her tongue exploring my tonsils.

On the way back to Soi 13, Tip became demanding, wanting to stop in this bar or that bar. I felt the cold coming on and wanted to get to the room. I bought her beer and stuff at Family Mart. She insisted on smoking a cigarette outside before coming in (I hate cigarettes. But wish I could find other smokables here) then showered and came to bed. She was slow, deliberate, included a lotion massage with the foreplay, and it was not great sex but not bad either. It's like pizza, you know? Good or bad, hey, at least you had pizza.

Second round she refused BJ and slapped me when I moved her head towards my soldier. I scolded her and she got back to the task at hand, and we made it through round 2. I could not finish. Stupid cold. She was transforming into a cold starfish.

Did I mention she was 34? Well that is what she told me in the bar, and I thought, oh well, all that experience, right? Well after round 2 she reveals she is 44. My age. Not enough to make me scream and kick her out but did not make me thrilled either. She wanted sleep by then and so did I. It was not good sleep.

Next morning she shoved me away, complaining of my snoring. When did I get a wife, for pete's sake? Her attitude turned me off and I gave her the promised money (regretting the deal all the while) and showed her the door.

Well, tonight is walking street and maybe I will go back to Worldwide and get my long time crush who I never managed to take home. Maybe Honey massage, who knows.

Either way I am not letting last night's mediocrity deter me. Pattaya is for fun and relaxation. You guys let me vent, I appreciate it, now onward!

Looking forward to the answers to my questions.

Uncle Ira

[LittleBigMan]

Lugalz.

Man your report is a trip! Whether you know it or not it gives a pretty good assumption as to the type of person you are?

It must be tough being a teacher in New York? Just hearing how the education system has gone down in the States I guess you don't get a lot of love or respect. You fly all the way to Asia looking / expecting everyone to love you and they don't! I would be bent out of shape too if that's all one can write in your reports. I guess you got to get it off your chest somehow? I'm here for you buddy? Let it all out!

Whether you know it or not just because someone doesn't respond and gives you a dirty look doesn't mean you have to go full steam ahead and beat them down maybe trying to win them over instead of them beating you down so you can't have a good time. Step back take a deep breath and come back in a day or so and read your report again maybe while someone is giving you a BBBJ?

Relax. Enjoy. LBM

[Franco Cozzo]

Third time to Thailand (in the last year) , first time to Pattaya. I have enjoyed Bangkok on all three occassions, however. After only a few hours here I think I've been converted. Of course, I do reserve the right to change back depending on the rest of my trip.

500THB beach road girl, ST: face 7. 5 (very cute, unlike most ladies I saw on my brief walk) , body 6. 5, service 8. 5+. I am not usually a fan of ST, but for that price vs. BJ bar to start this part of my trip off, I thought "why not?" Again, I might have been converted to ST fan. She has said she has a friend who is also OK with photos, and they like to "lick lick pussy".500THB each. 1000THB if I also want to do anal.

I'm staying at Penthouse (which I was a little wary of after reports on various Thai forums). I think I like it. I was only going to stay tonight and move on to Jasmine, though I might extend my stay here instead. The stripper pole and pron playing in the background really enhance the experience (a few minor qualms, but overall I'm content. If the 'Penthouse' forum member wants to discuss these, I am sure you can work out who I am from the info provided so far). Again: reserving the right to change my mind, depending on how I feel at checkout.

I will post reports and pictures of my endevours when time permits.

[TomJackin]

I went to Pump Station a few days ago. I did not buy a drink and when I got upstairs girl says 870B for BJ. I think it is a rip off.

Please post a trip report on the Pump Station. That way some of us can really tell if if you have been there or just posting bullshit as you usual do. Tell us about the upstairs bar. Etc. Have you really been there? Trip reports, what a fucking concept!

[Luvpuss]

Going to Pattaya in March and my flight gets into BKK about midnight. Is there really any benefit to taxi in that late or should I find a cheap room near the airport and grab a taxi the next morning?

I would not do either. I would get a cab to Suk and an inexpensive hotel. You can start your mongering trip with a bang in BKK, then go to Pats the next day.

[Luvpuss]

pattaya blow job bars.

in preparation for my pat trip i am collecting a list of bjb to visit and report on. current list is as follows but there must be more. please come with suggestions to add. pm or quote.

golden girls in soi 13/2, 650 baht.

pump station.

[CodeWord900].

bliss lounge

i went to pump station a few days ago. i did not buy a drink and when i got upstairs girl says 870b for bj. i think it is a rip off.

[Chill Out]

@bunky: hilarious!

@Lugalzaggizi, next time use your money to invest in a long, much-needed psychotherapy. I haven't seen so much negative drivel in a long time.

[Rjsss212]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was redacted or deleted to remove sections of the report that were largely argumentative. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

[Nixonbd]

WTF. Same flights I took last year (Delta and Korean Air) for $1400 is NOW $2300 for same dates in September!

[Redfield10]

Indubitably, old man. Indubitably.

A gentleman of your fine breeding who has come such a long way is well offended to find himself the cynosure of opprobium from a succession of declasse strumpets. As we say down at the yacht basin, some things simply are not done.

By the way, I was at Insomnia that night and managed to snap a photo of Mr. Lugalzaggizi.

I always think that anyone such as him who is "constantly" having problems with Thai girl attitudes wherever they go need only to look into the mirror to discover the root of the problem.

[Bunky]

I immediately got on the offensive with her friend by telling her that her attitude was horrific and that she was utterly bereft of manners. She might not have understood my English vocabulary, but she certainly was able to discern that I was conveying disapprobation for her crassness and selfishness in thwarting the sociosexual liaison between myself and her friend.

Indubitably, old man. Indubitably.

A gentleman of your fine breeding who has come such a long way is well offended to find himself the cynosure of opprobium from a succession of declasse strumpets. As we say down at the yacht basin, some things simply are not done.

By the way, I was at Insomnia that night and managed to snap a photo of Mr. Lugalzaggizi.

[Bunky]

Are you writing about the Soi 6 in Central Pattaya, or is this in South Pattaya? Also, can you give the cross streets to make it easier to find?

The former.

Beach Road on the west and Second Road on the east.

Bunky

[Bunky]

Three and a half hours from touchdown to Pattaya is an extra super long overestimate by any stretch.

Mr. Enternational's hour-and-a-half trip from touchdown to Pattaya has to be a world record! Wow! I wish I had his travel karma.

Seems like I'm always stuck in row 38 of whatever jumbo jet flies me into BKK. And after eight to ten hours in the air, the folks ahead of me move slowly indeed getting off. Out in the concourse I do my best to get ahead of them by the time we reach passport control. But invariably there is a family with children or a couple of senior citizens blocking the moving sidewalk, and they are oblivious to my attempts to get by. And when I reach the immigration checkpoint I have the uncanny ability to choose the slowest possible lane. I swear this past trip ahead of me in line there were three Taliban, two international men of mystery and an alimentary canal drug smuggler.

Of course with nearly 300 people on the flight, there are lots of bags to unload. How is it that mine always come off last? After clearing customs it takes awhile to find my taxi driver in the crowd of people competing for the attention of arriving passengers. My last trip I planned to call while waiting to get my entry stamp to tell the driver she could pick me up at the curb. But the POS cell phone I bought off The Bay of E didn't work. Once we finally got together we had to hoof it out to the farthest reaches of the parking lot to get in the car. Out on the road my driver kept up a nice pace, but she was far from the fastest. And when we stopped for cold drinks at the 7-11 the place was jammed.

So it's really not that hard to spend three hours or even more getting from your landing runway to Pattaya via prearranged taxi. But I never ever mind because that drive marks the end of the long journey from my home base to the coolest vacation spot on Earth.

Bunky

[MilesToGo]

What time does the last bus leave the airport for Pattaya?

http://www.belltravelservice.com/routes_rates.php#

Last bus leaving airport 6pm.

200 B. Dropped off at your hotel. Total time about 2hrs

[Cayec]

1. Stayed in Soi 11 close to Soi LK metro which is full of bars etc and equidistant to Walking St and Soi 6. Use the baht buses if you don't want to walk 15 minutes.

2. Quality of all bars and clubs extremely variable from night to night. My favorites were Peppermint in Walking and Office in LK metro. Soi 6 is more short time. We went into one bar and we were not allowed to stay.

3. Massage parlours all over. All offering as far as I could see HE, most with BBBJ and some with FS (I would suspect all if the rooms were private). The massage is not always good.

4. Soapy massage down at Soi 2 and in Soi 10 (I think). I had three. All enjoyable. B1, 800 plus tip.

5. In the 7 days bar fined 3. The hostess from peppermint in mid 30's by far the best; the 20 yo stunner with no tits from submarine the worst. B2, 000. B3, 000 LT.

6. HJ while sat in Office. B500 tip.

7. About 10 other massages. Cost B300 plus tip.

8. Only looked on Beach Road. Lots on offer to suit every taste.

9. Vast amounts of lady boys. I saw one absolutely beautiful specimen on soi 6 but that is not my scene.

10. On walking St Baccara very good but places like Alcatraz nothing special.

11. Best bet is the normal bars where you can see someone that attracts.