Pattaya Reports

[Member #4698]

And in another episode Jerry starts to hump his cleaner and she still expects to be paid for the cleaning but doesn't clean at all. 2 break up episodes.

Yeah, I remember that one too. Jerry became confused over whether he was paying the girl to clean his apartment which she was no longer doing or for making love to him, so the girl got mad at him and walked out. Very, very funny.

[Rob Jones]

A classic episode: George needs to hire a new secretary, but reluctantly he is forced to admit to all of the highly qualified and outrageously attractive applicants that if he hires any of them, they are so beautiful and sexy, that he won't be able to take his eyes off them and do any work. So he hires the plainest and least sexy applicant available thinking he has finally made the right move. Unfortunately, he shags his new plain Jane secretary while working late at the office and she now has leverage over him. Very funny stuff!

And in another episode Jerry starts to hump his cleaner and she still expects to be paid for the cleaning but doesn't clean at all. 2 break up episodes.

[Member #4698]

I saw a re-run of a Seinfeld episode that addressed this same delicate situation.

A classic episode: George needs to hire a new secretary, but reluctantly he is forced to admit to all of the highly qualified and outrageously attractive applicants that if he hires any of them, they are so beautiful and sexy, that he won't be able to take his eyes off them and do any work. So he hires the plainest and least sexy applicant available thinking he has finally made the right move. Unfortunately, he shags his new plain Jane secretary while working late at the office and she now has leverage over him. Very funny stuff!

[Rob Jones]

I think lots of guys fantasy is have a women clean etc and take care of their needs, but once you start to milk the cow that is when the trouble starts. I know a number of cases of guys who had maids starting then hooking up once that happens it is clean it yourself or they get lazy. Just last week having lunch with a few expats one told me so and so who I told don't do it, that he tag his maid and after a week not even on her day off decided to just go out and drink with her friends. Nothing is free it comes with a price one way or another. If you want to retire happy do the cleaning yourself.

I saw a re-run of a Seinfeld episode that addressed this same delicate situation.

[Rob Jones]

Come on man. You know everything that guys want to do it is because they saw it in porn. Worked out great for me the other way around when I was working at Dominoes Pizza for four months my first year of college though.

You didn't clean pools thru the day LOL.

[Turgid]

Who said anything about a maid? In 2015 I met a self-employed girl on DIA who I banged, was quite willing to spend time with me in her free time which was good enough for me. During the day I want to have nothing to do with buddies, that's me time when I do groceries and other stuff that I need to do. I would rather have a woman with me when I do those and other things and when I get frisky the needful is done. She must also wash, clean and cook. I believe you guys are thinking of a hot girl doing these chores; good for you if you are successful with that but I am quite willing to have a plain Jane take care of that business; hot girls are for night time. Also night time is when I will hang out with mates, drink and monger. You guys stick to your plan, I'll stick to mine. If my daytime girl gets lazy, I'll just say adios and have her replaced by another until I get what I want but will enjoy each and everyone while she lasts. Surely that can't be that hard to achieve. To each his own.

[Chocha Monger]

Come on man. You know everything that guys want to do it is because they saw it in porn. Worked out great for me the other way around when I was working at Dominoes Pizza for four months my first year of college though.

It worked out great for you, as in the girls were tipping you for delivering extra sausage and dipping sauce along with the piping hot Dominoes' Pizza?

[MonkeyPaw]

Why continue to pay a bar fine when you already know a chick? I have never understood that. If most didn't go with customers there would be no "bar fine" and no "short time up to the girl"... same as maybe a restaurant or dentist office. That is just a way to trick you into paying more because you are thinking you are getting something special.

Why do you think this was a game? Women have periods. At the same time, if she would have let you bar fine her and she started bleeding all over your bed then you would have been mad that she didn't tell you. Instead of being vindictive, just ask when is a good day.

Dude. You are aware that these are prostitutes right? They came to Pattaya to fuck foreigners for money. When you start fucking them for free, THAT is the time to be surprised.

It's pretty simple. I continue to pay a barfine because I still go to the go go bar. This is my entertainment and I will play by their rules. I've been discounted many times. Where I read that customers have paid 1500, while I pay 1000. I don't work, so what else do I do with my time? I bang almost a different girl everyday for the last 4 years, but there needs to be a "chase" involved without "emotional attachments. " I can easily call up a LINE contact, go to the soapies, or pick up a girl for cheaper sex than at the go go bar. I've done those things and it was boring. However, it's the thrill of the chase and game playing with trophy girls at the go go bars is what excites me. Whoever thinks there are no games being played by the trophy girls at the top end go go bars, is highly mistaken. I enjoy playing with all these hustlers. And I enjoy winning. I know I'm winning when I can walk into a top end go go bar and get the "I did everything you wanted, but you still swap me out look" from 30 to 40 different girls who all thought they were "the best" in that club at playing customers.

Sex in itself, to be honest with you, is not a problem where I come from. I have had opportunities with fashion models, girl deejays, actresses, etc. (I think you get the picture). Where I come from, rarely do I have to pay for anything. I can go to a club or restaurant and people would always offer to pay my tab. So to get out of this spotlight, my father suggested I go to other countries to "play" safely. I am single, no girlfriend, no kids. So there is no guilt on my part for what I do by paying for sex. I've learn that free sex comes with emotional attachments and breaks hearts. And I play this game safely and with a conscience. Girls might get pissed at me, but I still can fall asleep guilt free because I paid them generously for their time and service. To me sex is nothing more than an exchange of entertainment, money, and exercise to stay in shape. It beats a gym membership. But it's that game to get these girls that I target that is so thrilling. Who else can say that he was able to twice bang one of the sexiest waitress at the Hooters Pattaya for 8000 baht long time? This was on first try, meaning, mine and her first encounter as a customer. And if anybody thinks that's so easy. Please be my guest and next time when you are at Hooters, ask a sexy waitress to fuck you for money. And please report about it on this site.

Also you asked why I thought that short hair model at What's Up was hustling and lying about being on the rag. I've been around top end go go bar girls and strippers for a long time and played this game with them for many years now. I knew things about her even before I called her out on the barfine. And besides, if she was barfineable, mamasan would have asked me every time she sat with me for a drink. I know that club and how it works in there. That's why the girls don't like to play with me. They know if I want sex, I call them over, buy them 5 drinks, don't even force them to drink them, pay the barfine, then pay them generously for services rendered, and kick them out because I like to sleep alone. Also it's hard to explain to just normal people about my intuition. But within my life, I've shared dinners and partied with an axe murderer, a mafia hitman and his boss, politicians, and all sorts of characters and hustlers. You learn to read people and read them well or else you get eaten up alive. It's pretty much been my life and I keep getting better and still growing.

[Mr Enternational]

I don't get this so called fantasy about humping the maid. Some guys have imagination fuelled too much by porn sites.

Come on man. You know everything that guys want to do it is because they saw it in porn. Worked out great for me the other way around when I was working at Dominoes Pizza for four months my first year of college though.

[Syzygies]

Wait a minute. I would assume that as long as you are not humping the maid you can expect her to do her job. Right? Else get rid of her. It's something along the lines of don't shit where you eat. I find it hard to believe that in the land of pussy some guys can't keep their dicks in their pants for a couple of hours and can't control their urge to stoop the maid. 555. Get an ugly maid if that is your problem. That said, I have had the desire to stoop my female barber. She is single, in her 30's, and still desirable, but I control that impulse because she cuts my hair really good and I don't want to find another barber.

It was simply a case of which is more important? To fuck her or have her continue to do your hair (as just a friend). I don't get this so called fantasy about humping the maid. Some guys have imagination fuelled too much by porn sites.

Yes I have fucked a Hotel maid, but I met her at the Thermae years ago not in my Hotel room. Getting a happy ending at the hair dresser seems extremely daft to me and comes with dangers of lady boys working there. I have had my room cleaned in Stockholm by very doable Thai girls, but did not try to chat them up.

My Mrs is not a housewife in any great sense. She does cook food. She has other priorities not related to cleaning the house. I obviously chose her for other reasons. I can always hire someone more ugly to clean the house if I don't want to do it myself. If my Mrs gives me a good fuck often, that saves me money.

Can't believe Arnie had to fuck the maid and get her pregnant. She wasn't even pretty or hot. He must have been extremely horny, to loose that control completely. You just don't do these things at your home. He should have fired her instead.

[Member #4698]

I think lots of guys fantasy is have a women clean etc and take care of their needs, but once you start to milk the cow that is when the trouble starts. I know a number of cases of guys who had maids starting then hooking up once that happens it is clean it yourself or they get lazy. Just last week having lunch with a few expats one told me so and so who I told don't do it, that he tag his maid and after a week not even on her day off decided to just go out and drink with her friends. Nothing is free it comes with a price one way or another. If you want to retire happy do the cleaning yourself.

Wait a minute. I would assume that as long as you are not humping the maid you can expect her to do her job. Right? Else get rid of her. It's something along the lines of don't shit where you eat. I find it hard to believe that in the land of pussy some guys can't keep their dicks in their pants for a couple of hours and can't control their urge to stoop the maid. 555. Get an ugly maid if that is your problem. That said, I have had the desire to stoop my female barber. She is single, in her 30's, and still desirable, but I control that impulse because she cuts my hair really good and I don't want to find another barber.

[LittleBigMan]

I did not know Airbnb was illegal in Thailand. Nevertheless, my plan is really to stay in a nice condo in Jomtien. I prefer the less frenetic environment of Jomtien for habitation. I have no problems with the baht bus. During the day I want to shack up with a civilian who, apart from taking care of my physical needs, would wash, clean and occasionally cook. We'd frolic on the beach, dine at restaurants and do touristy stuff. She'd go home to her family just before nightfall which is when I'd get ready to hit the clubs, go gos etc. for some serious drinking and mongering on site. Rinse and repeat the next day. That's my retirement plan.

I think lots of guys fantasy is have a women clean etc and take care of their needs, but once you start to milk the cow that is when the trouble starts. I know a number of cases of guys who had maids starting then hooking up once that happens it is clean it yourself or they get lazy. Just last week having lunch with a few expats one told me so and so who I told don't do it, that he tag his maid and after a week not even on her day off decided to just go out and drink with her friends. Nothing is free it comes with a price one way or another. If you want to retire happy do the cleaning yourself.

[Christian G]

10.3 some in the Devil's Den.

Returning to Pattaya for my final week I just had to tick off The Devil's Den for it's notoriety.

The 2 young girls at Dragon's Den were in their late twenties and the price was 3000 baht for one and a half hours.

At Devil's (not Dragon's) Den the price for 2 girls for 90 min in-call service is 4500 baht, not 3000 baht!

http://devilsdenthailand.com/in-call.html

2 girls for 90 min out-call service is 5000 baht.

http://devilsdenthailand.com/out-call.html

[RogerBoner]

1. Red Car Walking Street Pattaya.

We started out rushing from bar to club to disco to GoGo bar. In Smoke and Kisses near the end of the street I met Yaying, one of the most beautiful young women that I have ever seen. She and her friends played with my erect cock through my trousers as I DFKd her. I wouldn't let my mates touch this beauty and I stared into her eyes caressed her hair and admired her perfect proportions. She gave me her Line ID to meet up tomorrow.

In a naked GoGo bar we were sat next to the stage where two girls were toying with each other. After lady drinks I leaned forward and stuck my tongue into one of the girls arses. I stuck my index finger in further than I've ever done before. Another girl had taken out my cock and was wanking me and keeping me on the brink. She had big tits and offered me a BJ upstairs for 1000 baht. I said No so she said OK 500 baht. I should have said yes but this was our first lads bonding night.

We ended up in Red Car which is full of desperate looking older women who are still very attractive. I was challenged to Long Time a tall haughty looking mid thirties woman who I didn't particularly fancy. I don't usually have sex after any drinks and never use Viagra. On this occasion me and the woman shared a Kamagra gel sachet during the bike ride to my hotel. We had hours of 69 and sex and then a proper bonk in the morning before she left. We hardly spoke and I decided that because I couldn't remember much that I would try not to have drunken sex again. At one stage I was using a new vibrator on her but had no idea how to use the controls, she did and tried to use it on my bottom but I said No Thanks. I saw her the next evening at Red Car and we ignored one another which is the correct etiquette, or so I've been told. Her mate asked me how it went and I told her that the woman wasn't happy because I'd taken 2 hours to come. That's why I don't like Viagra or Kamagra.

2. Smoke and Kisses.

Beautiful Yaying was already drunk at 7.00 pm. She fell over in the shower of the upstairs ST room. 69, CG doggy and CIM. I would have been more than happy just to stare at her pale skin, dreamy eyes, long silky hair and luscious kissing lips. Her features are perfectly symmetrical and I flinched at the privilege of kissing her mouth. Later in the holiday she found my ThaiFriendly profile and we exchanged compliments and silly messages. I have some photos of her. Her beauty was breathtaking and I still think about her.

3. Area 51 Soi Diana Blonde Beem x 2.

My favourite GoGo bar is Papagayo on Soi Diana. I got hard the instant I saw Nicky Love, their superstar attraction. She squeezed it and called over the Mamisan and her friends for a squeeze and a flirt. Nicky Love is as extravagant and super fabulous as Tina Turner as The Acid Queen in Ken Russels "Tommy" written by The Who. Thin, beautiful, squirmy and manically crazy. She wouldn't stop moving, dancing and sitting on my lap with her tongue licking mine. She was too much for me to handle. During my hols I went back up to six more times to flirt with the Mamasan and consider taking on Nicky. She was just too much for me to handle. The Mamasan confided that the man who took her the previous night couldn't perform with her.

After a few too many I went alone to Area 51 and ended up being toyed with by blonde Beem wearing a tooth brace. In Thailand some people wear them as fashion accessories. She and her young friend were playing with me on the sofa so I took her for LT. I was too drunk so gave her hours of Pussy Worship. She said that I wouldn't leave her alone for the whole night. But the moonlight made her feminine curves look beautiful and I couldn't stop caressing her. FS in the morning before she left to collect her daughter.

In the final week I stayed at LK Metropole directly opposite Area 51 so would pop in for a game of pool and took her for ST session. She wanted more Pussy Worship and covered my bed with towels for her gushing. But I was completely sober this time so ensured that my needs were also taken care of. She claims that I have given her the best ever oral. Afterwards I enjoyed playing pool with her and her mates. The young friend that had also been playing with me got booked by an obese man in his late 70's. I asked Beem to intervene but she told me not to worry, that the young girl had worked there for 3 years and that she didn't have to accept the booking. I found it disturbing and want everyone to be beautiful and perfect.

4. The Blue Heeler Soi Lengkee.

I'm Lord Byron drinking on my balcony at 4. 30 am the next night and I spot a slim girl in a bar across the street. I got dressed to go over to speak to her but by the time I got dressed she had already been driven home. I was offered a drink and then barfined her and took her for a sleepy ST consisting of a bit of missionary followed by CIM. I liked the idea of seeing someone I fancied and ordering them upstairs like an olde worlde aristocrat.

5. [CodeWord901]'s BJ Bar Soi LK Metro Two Girls.

I'd always wanted a FFFM BJ after seeing porn vids but thought a 2 girl BJ would be good. 700 baht per girl for about 40 minutes. The problem was that they used wet wipes a lot to wipe off each others saliva as they changed position. This stopped a natural flow but also ensured that I didn't come too quickly. Afterwards I had a drink and a couple of games of pool with the specialist who gave me CIM. She told the other girls that my sperm tasted nice and guessed incorrectly what I'd had for my last two meals and was also mistaken when she said that I'd drunk coffee with cream. She must take pride in her job to think this way. I sought her out for a second sperm tasting session during my final week in Pattaya.

6. La Poste BJ Bar. Soi Lingkee.

I'd popped in one afternoon and it had the raucous atmosphere of a bar from a Wild West American movie. Customers were drinking at the bar with their arms around semi-naked women. I went back later and ordered a Coke Lite at the bar. An unattractive mid-40's woman approached and I accepted her offer to go to a secluded area round the back. As we undressed and I exposed my boner her friend arrived with our drinks and bag of wet wipes and oil. They both giggled and played with my cock and balls before I was left with one woman. 700 baht for 45 minutes and she would do FS for 1000 baht. Whilst being rimmed with my legs in the air I watched a giant cockroach walking around the floor. She commented on my strong power just before CIM. As I sat at the bar with her afterwards to finish my drink I noticed that it was midnight, closing time at [CodeWord901]'s and wondered of the spunk lover might be knocking off. Maybe I could ST her back to my hotel.

7. Massage Parlour LK Metro.

After La Poste I still had he horn but [CodeWord901]'s was closed. I found another parlour still open and paid another 700 baht for yet another BJ. The BJ soon turned into a handjob. I stopped her and said Mouth. She said that in Thailand a BJ includes HJ for half the time. I argued and she said that I had a bad heart and threatened to call The Police. This made me laugh out loud and she lightened up and gave me a good BJ.

8. Phuket. Noina Freelance Nymphomanic.

After a late first night I awoke in the afternoon and ventured down to the Hotel bar for a drink. I noticed a Tour Guide Booth across the street so went to look at some maps of the city. Tour Booth woman was talking to a beautiful woman wearing a figure hugging dress sitting on her motorbike, I invited her to play a couple of games of pool in the Hotel bar and we had a couple of drinks.

Within the hour we were fucking in every orifice. She orgasmed easily as she hadn't had sex for 10 days. She was delighted at this encounter. It was making love. She is 40 years old and I have lots of sex photos of her and some superb ones of her dressed in lingerie looking like a Bond girl. 1000 baht for two and a half hour and she wanted to return at midnight but I declined.

The next morning my lob-on boner suggested that I make Noina my girlfriend in Phuket. I saw her 4 complete days, not 24 hours because she has a daughter. We went to lunch, dined out at the Night Market. She drove me around on her bike. She's well known and other girls that saw me with her would stick their thumbs up and say that she was Number 1. I took her to a posh shopping center and said that I would buy her anything that she wanted, a posh dress, shoes, handbag, anything. She just chose two discounted thongs and a bra totalling 500 baht!

She was excellent company and almost destroyed my power with several all night sessions. I gave her 10,000 baht a couple of days in as a gift.

9. Nana Walked me back to hotel and stayed over.

I was out with my mate and Noina was with her pals but we weren't together that night. I got drunk and lost on my way back to the hotel. A woman asked if I was ok and walked me back to the hotel. Before you could say "Bloody Hell this is starting to sound like the plot of a 70's porn film" she was in my bed giving me her all. The next morning I had to as who she was, how we had met and whether we had sex. There was a filled condom under my foot as I asked. She informed me that we'd had sex and she'd given me a BJ. My mate in the next room banged on my door at 7.00 am in the morning asking me to keep the noise down.

Two mornings later at 10.00 am Nana started banging on my hotel door. "You forget me so soon honey?" and called me by my real name. This didn't go down very well will sleepy Noina nuzzling my shoulder at the time. She brought it up and Nana sent some texts which I said must be from one of the girls in Pattaya.

10.3 some in the Devil's Den.

Returning to Pattaya for my final week I just had to tick off The Devil's Den for it's notoriety.

The 2 young girls at Dragon's Den were in their late twenties and the price was 3000 baht for one and a half hours. They used a towel to wipe off each others saliva. 69 as one sucked and the other rimmed. CG, Mish back to double BJ then CIM. I've had plenty of 2 hour sessions with the Water St girls and there is never a dull moment. I was a bit meek when I asked them to perform a lesbian show. They said that there was plenty of time and they would wait for me to regain my power. So we cuddled and had a half hour snooze! I probably went to sleep. There are mirrors around the room and on the ceiling so I could see the pussy licking. What followed was more or less a repeat performance of round 1. It was lacklustre because I was only there to tick this place off my list. They never met the real me.

11 and 12 Club Excite, Soi Excite BJ Bar.

Someone in The Scooter Bar heard me mention [CodeWord901]'s and recommended Excite. I chose a lady with a blonde bob. We went to the rear couch and she pulled a curtain around us to give me a sleazy BJ as others drank and smoked in the crowed bar. My head was giddy with the total decadence of the scene. However she wasn't very good at the job. After about twenty minutes I thrust upward to get some more sensation. She withdrew my cock to avoid CIM and wiped my bell end hard with her thumb.

"You come?

"No!

She apologized. My cock went soft but I said that I would still pay her. She told me to wait and after a few minutes another more experienced women appeared to complete the task. She said "Ooh you come for me now baby etc. " with my cock in her mouth. I laughed as it sounded like Rob Brydon's "Small Man trapped in a box" voice. It didn't put me off and I bought both girls a drink at the bar and thought about the excellent customer service that I had just received.

13. Bilabong Beer Bar VIP 2 girl adoration (no sex).

I didn't realize that the red sofa was the VIP area. The previous evening I'd been talking to an ex Papagaya GoGo dancer and her friend here. After stilted conversation for the first hour suddenly we really got on and they asked me to take them both out the following night to all the GoGo Bars an they would make me a big man and flatter my ego etc.

The ex-Pappagayo dancer joined me and the her friend and Kevin who had started rolling joints openly. Soon I was blowing smoke into the girls mouth and FKing. Somehow because of where we were we were the focus of the whole bar who were just watching the goings on. This flirting was so sweet.

All of a sudden her friend that I'd forgotten about came rushing towards me with her arms open. She hugged and kissed me so much that we ended up covering our faces with cushions as both girls French kissed me with real passion at the same time. Guys around the bar were mouthing "Two?" and doing thumbs up signs. All I was doing was buying the occasional Lady Drink. This went on for until 2.00 am. I would just stare into their wide open eyes. They appeared to have submitted to me without any self-consciousness. I couldn't understand why they were so open to me. I never got a boner because by now I was a spent force. I will never forget their wide-eyed looks of gratitude when I handed them 1000 baht each before I left. The second girl almost fainted in disbelief. I won't forget this particular evening.

I had never been ripped off or taken advantage of in any way. I've come back super confident and happy in my own skin. This has been the highlight of my adult life.

[Mr Enternational]

Curious on what you or others feel is a fair price to pay for such service from a hot girl.

Well first off he said civilian, so the price would be 0. Second off, it would never happen because he said day time, and civilians in Pattaya have jobs to go to in the day time. It is not like Dominican Republic where mfs are sitting around all day everyday with nothing to do. But if he could change up some of his parameters then he would be golden.

Only lazy hookers are going to be available in the day time. And that is only available to sleep and run your a/c bill up. Day time in Pattaya is for running all your errands and getting together with your buddies and shit. If he thinks he is going to want to hit clubs and stuff every night, that shit will probably last about 2 weeks. People that live in Orlando don't go to theme parks everyday.

Also, if he thinks that he can not get a hot chick to come over to cook and clean because he is in his 60's, then he does not know Pattaya very well. Most of my friends are in their 60's and the problem they have is getting them to leave. And after a couple of those chicks cook for him, he will not want to eat in a restaurant again.

Some of my friends stress about cleaning before a chick comes over. I say what kind of shit is that? I get my civilian chicks to come over and clean up after the last chick I had when they get off work. The first thing they say when they come in is look at all this hair. I say that is why you are here. Then I leave and they send me a message when they are finished.

When new chicks come over they always trip out because I have all kind of shit for women: maxipads, toothbrushes, makeup remover pads, bands to tie hair up with, disposible shower caps. I tell them when they come here they won't have an excuse that I don't have something they need.

I would not say to try looking for a chick to do the things he mentioned. You should meet so many people in Pattaya on a daily basis that shit just happens to fall into your lap. Go with the flow and see where it takes you.