Pattaya Reports

[Forty Drinks]

Red Planet has prices in the $20's for April. High season might have arrived Guys.

After staying away for 3 months was hoping for those $15-17 prices they had this past not too long ago.

[Forty Drinks]

There was a plump Mexican chap sat next to me at breakfast at Sports Lounge chewing a toothpick, who kept making a series of unusual grunts and snorts. Very off-putting. After I'd eaten I went to the market on 2nd Road and bought a few souvenirs for the folks back home. Shopping bags in hand I backtracked down soi Honey towards my hotel.

It's funny though, sometimes when you're not looking for a girl, opportunities present themselves.

At one of the massage places I saw a sexy cougar. She had a curvy figure and a suggestive smile. 'You wan massage and boom boom? ' she said, reading my mind. I hadn't intended to find a girl but she seemed a guaranteed good time.

I followed her shapely bum upstairs having agreed to the 1200 baht price. She closed the curtain behind us in the cubicle and I knew I was in for a good time when she undressed. She had a sexy body and fake tits. Forget cute girls, these are the type of girls I should target on soi Honey! She was 34 years old and unusually from Chiang Rai. About 95% of the girls I ask are from Isaan.

She gave me a nice massage then gave me a skilful blowjob when I turned over. She rode me expertly then I fucked her in mish and doggy, before she bounced up and down on my cock Asian cowgirl until I shot my load.

An enjoyable quickie with a foxy cougar.

Back in my room I spent half an hour on ThaiFriendly. I emailed an older girl with a 2/10 face but 10/10 tits. They were massive natural breasts I couldn't help imagining wrapped around my dick. I also got chatting to two attractive younger girls, both of whom established early they were freelance and quoted 1500.

Slowly the sky turned pink, then Pattaya's skyline twinkled beneath the darkening sky. My plan tonight was to grab a pretty girl from one of the gogos. Did it work? Of course not.

I went to Las Vegas agogo at 8 pm. It was Sunday night so the place was quieter than previous visits. 12 girls were dancing and although several were older girls with pneumatic fake tits, there were a few pretty ones. Of course I was on the look-out for my Terminal 21 girl and I thought I had a possible sighting in the second dance shift, a tall, skinny cutie with luscious long dark hair, but it wasn't my girl.

I went to Mamasan Club LK next, which had a far more intimate alayout with eight girls dancing. A couple of the girls were lovely, including a tall one who had tiny tits but erect nipples. I got a stiffy just looking at her cavorting around her chrome pole. I offered her a drink but was too slow, another customer had beaten me to it.

I crossed the street to Paradise but was disappointed when I took my seat and examined the 10 girls shuffling on stage in yellow bikinis. I'd be surprised if any of them were under 30, a far cry from the young Japanese looking girl with pigtails I once barfined from this bar. Outside the toilets seems to be where girls congregate when they're not on stage. Both cubicles were locked so I used the urinal as three or four girls watched, one of them chomping on a banana.

I got a bad seat in Destiny, near the door, which meant I didn't get the best view of the girls on the T-shaped stage. This bar is very popular with expats, I don't think I've seen so many silver foxes in one place at the same time.

I decided to abandon my gogo idea and get myself some food. I was disappointed. I was prepared to barfine any pretty girl I saw but the only one I was tempted by had already been bought a drink. However I'd enjoyed visiting the bars and will try some of the others tomorrow night.

After wolfing down a tuna jacket potato at Hungry Hippo I went on my usual circuit around Tree Town and Myth. The Area 52 girl I like was with a customer so I ended up buying a drink for a cutie at Ass 95. I've known her for a few years and fucked her on my last trip, but when I enquired about barfining her tonight she kept looking at her watch (10 pm) and was keen to know where I was staying. I wasn't in the mood for a rushed meet, so I lost interest.

I ended up walking along soi Honey. While this street has lots of massage-with-extras places stocked with older cougars, including half a dozen specialising in ladyboys, it also has a series of short time bars like Pink Lady and Runway, which have younger girls and short-time rooms upstairs. Quite often the girls are not to my taste but occasionally you can find a pretty one. I got chatting with a lovely 21 year old with a Cambodian appearance, who had the winning combo of braces on her teeth and big tits. She quoted 2000 but accepted 1500 and we were soon undressing in a dark room overlooking LK Metro.

'I'm shy' she said needlessly as her clothes fell to the floor. She had a lovely curvy body and her breasts were perfection in my books, full and jiggly with big nipples. I got rock hard just squeezing them. I kissed her and she told me I was only her third customer in the month she's worked at the bar. Although she was inexperienced the sex was great. When I first slid in she was very tight and I had to go slowly, but by the end she was riding me like a bucking bronco as I squeezed her perfect tits. One of the best fucks of the trip.

She had a mischievous side too. As we left the bar she told me to say 'yamadong' to her friend, who had a shocked look on her face and looked like she was going to slap me. Any ideas what I said?

Soi Honey disappointed me on my last trip but I'd fucked two girls on this street today, a massage-with-extras with a sexy cougar during the afternoon and then an enjoyable romp with a pretty 21 year old later.

Massage girl 1st one referenced. Checks out. Curvy and Cougar meaning Fat and Old-1,200 (appropriately Paid). No problems in Houston on this one.

[Turgid]

.... Blanquiceleste and Natty Bumpo to name a couple......

Hey, I completely forgot about NB. When did he disappear from ISG? Whatever became of him?

[Werqweq]

There was a plump Mexican chap sat next to me at breakfast at Sports Lounge chewing a toothpick, who kept making a series of unusual grunts and snorts. Very off-putting.

Sounds like you and ElMexicant finally met in person.

[Rocko20]

Tinder is unfortunately very quick to ban.

Agreed. I was also banned but was able to make another account since I have multiple emails / phone numbers. As you stated, its best to move the conversation to line app or whatsapp as soon as possible. I find bumble to be far superior but it depends on the city I'm in. Theres's also badou and several other apps but I just stick with tinder and bumble.

[Werqweq]

Breaking news, I have been banned from Tinder. I thought my messages were generally very tame but I think I used the word 'short-time' and have been suspended as a result. I find it amusing that an App which essentially facilitates one night stands should take any kind of moral high ground on sex for sale.

Tinder is unfortunately very quick to ban. They have so many users that they just don't care I think. Look the wrong way, and you'll get banned, and they seem to have a very effective ban system in place too, so you might end up having to get both a different phone, phone number, and email to login again.

I've only used tinder for normal / non-p4 p dates, and even then, best to move the conversation to line ASAP lest you risk offending some lilly flower who reports you, because, tinder is very trigger-happy on their ban-button and just don't care. Unfortunately it's also the dating app with the most users, but bumble is a good number #2 and seems to suffer slightly less from indiscriminate bans.

[Werqweq]

Maybe you missed my post about the importance of a foreigner and what he thinks come right after the importance of the fleas on their dog. No need in wasting your breath saying you were not happy. But I guess you saw that first hand.

"right after the importance of what the fleas on their dog think". Most what-the-hell thing in that whole story is that the guy actually paid her 2000. I wouldn't even have let her stink up my shower after that.

[Sir Lancelot]

There was a plump Mexican chap sat next to me at breakfast at Sports Lounge chewing a toothpick, who kept making a series of unusual grunts and snorts. Very off-putting. After I'd eaten I went to the market on 2nd Road and bought a few souvenirs for the folks back home. Shopping bags in hand I backtracked down soi Honey towards my hotel.

It's funny though, sometimes when you're not looking for a girl, opportunities present themselves.

At one of the massage places I saw a sexy cougar. She had a curvy figure and a suggestive smile. 'You wan massage and boom boom? ' she said, reading my mind. I hadn't intended to find a girl but she seemed a guaranteed good time.

I followed her shapely bum upstairs having agreed to the 1200 baht price. She closed the curtain behind us in the cubicle and I knew I was in for a good time when she undressed. She had a sexy body and fake tits. Forget cute girls, these are the type of girls I should target on soi Honey! She was 34 years old and unusually from Chiang Rai. About 95% of the girls I ask are from Isaan.

She gave me a nice massage then gave me a skilful blowjob when I turned over. She rode me expertly then I fucked her in mish and doggy, before she bounced up and down on my cock Asian cowgirl until I shot my load.

An enjoyable quickie with a foxy cougar.

Back in my room I spent half an hour on ThaiFriendly. I emailed an older girl with a 2/10 face but 10/10 tits. They were massive natural breasts I couldn't help imagining wrapped around my dick. I also got chatting to two attractive younger girls, both of whom established early they were freelance and quoted 1500.

Slowly the sky turned pink, then Pattaya's skyline twinkled beneath the darkening sky. My plan tonight was to grab a pretty girl from one of the gogos. Did it work? Of course not.

I went to Las Vegas agogo at 8 pm. It was Sunday night so the place was quieter than previous visits. 12 girls were dancing and although several were older girls with pneumatic fake tits, there were a few pretty ones. Of course I was on the look-out for my Terminal 21 girl and I thought I had a possible sighting in the second dance shift, a tall, skinny cutie with luscious long dark hair, but it wasn't my girl.

I went to Mamasan Club LK next, which had a far more intimate layout with eight girls dancing. A couple of the girls were lovely, including a tall one who had tiny tits but erect nipples. I got a stiffy just looking at her cavorting around her chrome pole. I offered her a drink but was too slow, another customer had beaten me to it.

I crossed the street to Paradise but was disappointed when I took my seat and examined the 10 girls shuffling on stage in yellow bikinis. I'd be surprised if any of them were under 30, a far cry from the young Japanese looking girl with pigtails I once barfined from this bar. Outside the toilets seems to be where girls congregate when they're not on stage. Both cubicles were locked so I used the urinal as three or four girls watched, one of them chomping on a banana.

I got a bad seat in Destiny, near the door, which meant I didn't get the best view of the girls on the T-shaped stage. This bar is very popular with expats, I don't think I've seen so many silver foxes in one place at the same time.

I decided to abandon my gogo idea and get myself some food. I was disappointed. I was prepared to barfine any pretty girl I saw but the only one I was tempted by had already been bought a drink. However I'd enjoyed visiting the bars and will try some of the others tomorrow night.

After wolfing down a tuna jacket potato at Hungry Hippo I went on my usual circuit around Tree Town and Myth. The Area 52 girl I like was with a customer so I ended up buying a drink for a cutie at Ass 95. I've known her for a few years and fucked her on my last trip, but when I enquired about barfining her tonight she kept looking at her watch (10 pm) and was keen to know where I was staying. I wasn't in the mood for a rushed meet, so I lost interest.

I ended up walking along soi Honey. While this street has lots of massage-with-extras places stocked with older cougars, including half a dozen specialising in ladyboys, it also has a series of short time bars like Pink Lady and Runway, which have younger girls and short-time rooms upstairs. Quite often the girls are not to my taste but occasionally you can find a pretty one. I got chatting with a lovely 21 year old with a Cambodian appearance, who had the winning combo of braces on her teeth and big tits. She quoted 2000 but accepted 1500 and we were soon undressing in a dark room overlooking LK Metro.

'I'm shy' she said needlessly as her clothes fell to the floor. She had a lovely curvy body and her breasts were perfection in my books, full and jiggly with big nipples. I got rock hard just squeezing them. I kissed her and she told me I was only her third customer in the month she's worked at the bar. Although she was inexperienced the sex was great. When I first slid in she was very tight and I had to go slowly, but by the end she was riding me like a bucking bronco as I squeezed her perfect tits. One of the best fucks of the trip.

She had a mischievous side too. As we left the bar she told me to say 'yamadong' to her friend, who had a shocked look on her face and looked like she was going to slap me. Any ideas what I said?

Soi Honey disappointed me on my last trip but I'd fucked two girls on this street today, a massage-with-extras with a sexy cougar during the afternoon and then an enjoyable romp with a pretty 21 year old later.

[LittleBigMan]

Rode through Surprise BBQ today and there were no signs of life. Maps says permanently closed as well. Grand Opening, Grand Closing?

Somewhat sad, I've been eating at their hole in the wall for years. What 10 x 10 space on Buakhao 21st. I calculate they were doing a 25,000 a night?

Their new place a month a whole new location 1000 tops!

You ever on the Darkside Soi Khao Noi just after Tops Market same side is a new clean outdoor market on the top end side a Thai guy has a pizxs booth. I've had a number of Pizza from Thais at these type of markets his is by fasr the best. HR has about 20 Types starting 120 baht, his best in my opinion is 170 baht the Signature. They have tables you can eat there.

Further up from market around the bend same side Khao Noi Sportbar Wed, Thursday, they have a baby back ribs special at 199 with fries mray falls off the bone.

[Sir Lancelot]

What I don't get is that Sir Lancelot posts nice long detailed reports on what his day and night is like and some "members" can't resisit having a dig, a "query", a snide remark etc.

Firstly, thank you for your nice words. Regarding the negativity, this Pattaya thread is comfortably the worst on ISG. Maybe it's because of the high expat ratio but there are always smart-arses who feel they have to police everyone else, pick fault and criticise. I know for a fact people like these discourage newbies from posting their own experiences, which is sad.

I think the reason they do it is similar to old Western movies, you know, when an outsider walks in to a bar and the music stops and one of the locals stands up and declares 'your type aren't welcome around here'. That's what it feels like posting a report on this page! For some reason, they hate reading about other people having a good time. They immediately go on the defense and try to find fault. It says a lot about their own insecurities.

I have a theory about it actually. I think people who retire in Pattaya are finally living their dream, having their pick of the women they probably never got a second glance from back home. But for some people, the attention goes to their head and they have a God complex. ElMexicant claimed he's on a different playing field to everyone else, I had a guy on the Angeles page telling me 'leave the fucking to the big boys' ! Would-be alpha-males like these don't like the thought that outsiders like you and I can have an equally, if not better time. It undermines them, makes them realise that literally anyone can do what they're doing. They're paying girls to have sex with them. Have you noticed that these same people never pick fights with those who post about their bad experiences? Funny that, isn't it? They're not threatened by those people. Yet if anyone has the audacity to talk about what a great time they've had, they'll have a target on their back. It's pretty sad really.

To end, I just want to speak to any newbies who are thinking about visiting Pattaya. Do it. It's a sweet-shop and you'll have the time of your life. And if you do, post your experiences on here. Ignore the tiresome bores who only criticise, they are a vocal minority, I guarantee a lot of people will appreciate you sharing your experiences. I received a message this morning from a guy who has booked a trip in August after reading my diary. Sharing information is what this page should be all about, easy to forget when there is so much testosterone and unnecessary drama swirling around.

[ElMexicant]

I may even ask for a handsome man discount.

In case they think I'm kidding.

[Banana Boi]

In the past, when his handle was still MonkeyPaw, other board members who met him also said he was a really nice guy. Makes me wonder why he comes across as such an arrogant asshole in his posts.

I've met a few guys from this board who I didn't like their online persona much but in person are some of my favorite and nicest guys I have met in SEA over the years. Blanquiceleste and Natty Bumpo to name a couple. Then there are guys from the German forum who I enjoyed their online posts and let's just say I wouldn't even say Hi to them if I bumped into them in a FKK now. An online persona is just that. It's not who is really on the other end of a keyboard.

As for Monkeypaw, I just spent time with him this past month. He's that guy who will bend over backwards for you and is loyal to no end. He is a confident man like I am so to some that may be arrogance.

[Sir Lancelot]

You, and apparently the moderator, read the post from the top down instead of bottom up, which was the correct way. If you had looked at the time stamps, you would have seen that the price was discussed first, with her justifying the price because she was young, and then her revealing her age and him turning her down because she was 17.

As much as I dislike ElMexicant for his trolling, I read it like that too. However I suspect the moderator removed the photo because it's probably not the cleverest idea posting photos of an underage girl on a sex forum.

[Mr Enternational]

I was on the 6 the other night and a girl was smoking one of those vapes. I said why do you keep smoking that bullshit? She said because it smells good. Exactly what I thought.

[Nomad0815]

At sirlancalot, just a tip for TF. If you search for the user name of a 'popular' girl, you will be able to access her profile and send a message.

Typically I pay for a month of premium when I'm there, but when I am browsing in the weeks before, this trick helps.

How does this work? If I try to use the "Username serach" at the bottom I only get "You tried to perform a search that requires a premium membership".