Pattaya Reports

[Goyave]

... She asked if I wanted smoke or boom boom and if I wanted two girls. She said smoke 300, boom boom 400 and she had a room (she pointed to a shack in the distance.) ...

I guess that she charges 100 baht more than the rates that I am usually quoted there (200 baht for a BBBJ, 300 baht for FS) for the room. The best time to check these "infamous bushes" is probably later in the afternoon (4 or 5 pm, for instance), but it's nice to see that you've been adventurous enough to visit this area!

[Rubberyman]

You don't have to tell me. I fell in love last night and I'm about to do it again today. It always happens to me when I come to Pattaya!

Don't fall in love...it sticks to your face.

[Mr Enternational]

Some time ago, I spoke about a place "in the woods" of South Pattaya (not far away from Arthachinda Road) where one can get a blow job or even FS at a very cheap price (100 or 200 baht for a BBBJTC, 200 or 300 baht for FS, depending on the provider). Of course, the great majority of the girls working in this area are far from being attractive.

I stopped by this place today about 1pm. There were two girls lying down on a mat in the grass. One waved me over. I continued up the street to see if there was anyone else around. There was not so I turned my motorbike around to go back to talk to them. She asked if I wanted smoke or boom boom and if I wanted two girls. She said smoke 300, boom boom 400 and she had a room (she pointed to a shack in the distance.) I didn't try to bargain or anything. As Goyave said, she was far from being attractive but I just wanted to get the scoop. I told her that I was going to Tukcom and would come back later.

[Mr Enternational]

I know better than to fall in love with a Beach Road girl. But guys I tell you its possible to fall in love with this girl.
Showdown

You don't have to tell me. I fell in love last night and I'm about to do it again today. It always happens to me when I come to Pattaya!

[Adprman]

Kumbu,

You are without a doubt a creative talented writer that could make a living writing about any subject.

Thanks!

[Mackin]

I thing we can award Kimbu an "Honary Degree of Monger Writing" . You must have been trained at a highly reguarded school of creative writing for mongers.

Very good reading and excellent word selection.

[Asian Fetish]

Kumbu, what can i say, you take my breathe away.

Buddy, i'm being serious when i say you should honestly write a sex/ romance novel my friend.

[Deeveedee]

Kumbu. You must be my long lost twin brother! My experiences in Thailand seem to be very similar.

Thanks for the great reads, it's posts of these caliber that keep me coming back to these forums.

[Showdown]

One of my milk girls called me and said she had a friend who was in need of money and would like to hook up. I initially said no because in Pattaya I insist on girls with milk but my milk girl assured me this girl would aim to please. When I met up with them the girl turned out to be a absolute doll baby. She was so damn cute. If the girl wasnt a SW I would take her in. I kid you not. After the deed was done I took her and got her hair and nails done and hung out with her all night and the next day. I know better than to fall in love with a Beach Road girl. But guys I tell you its possible to fall in love with this girl.

Showdown

[Kumbu]

part iv. this is the final part of this mega report. in it, we get down and dirty in the sewage canal.


we cleaned up, showered, and into bed to watch some tv. we chatted as she flicked through channel after channel for 30 minutes or so, and then she said she wanted round #2. i tried to explain that kumbu is a strictly one-pop wonder, but she would have none of it. she listened patiently to me explain my propensity for long, single pops, and once i was finished she asked me, “are you finished?” i paused, hesitant, and nodded, and she said “bullshit.”

she then went on to explain how she wanted me to do to her what i did to her the last time we saw each other. she wanted to come, then she wanted me to come one more time. oh god, kumbu, what have you gotten yourself into? could there really be too much of a good thing?

i begin to protest, but then knowing exactly what to do, she turns around and shows me her ass. aww come on! that is just not fair! little kumbu twinges, and having lost all will of my own, i begin to gently kiss her neck, nuzzle her ears, suckle her ear lobes, reach around and kiss her gently on the lips, then her cheek (face), before i make that long, undulating, pleasurable trip down her back towards my dominion. as i reach her hips, i remember the kumbu™, and the imposters who had tried to claim credit for the move. sorry fellas, it's mine, and i executed it to perfection once more.

she now got onto all fours, grabbed a pillow and buried her face in the pillow, ass pointing straight up at divinity. rather than mess around with any pretense of pussy play, i plunged my tongue into her anus. ridiculous, i must say. i mean, surely this is a bad idea, no? but my tongue met moisture, and rather than being repulsed, i got a perverted kind of thrill out of it. this is not supposed to happen. if ever there was a forbidden fruit, this is it, and for good reason. but what does reason have to do with anything? as my tongue probed deeper and deeper into her warmth, i wondered what it would taste like. her shit i mean. weird, but i had the time and wits to ponder this question. i wondered if it would be sweet in any way, like her skin. or whether it would be more espresso like in its pungency. horrible, horrible thoughts to be having, but there you have it – these truly are the depths of my depravity. some of you may be disgusted by this, some of you may be envious, i don't know. i'm not particularly proud of it, nor embarrassed by it, that's just what happened.

i quickly regained my senses and pulled my tongue out of her asshole and went back to some simple but pleasurable rimming. i didn't stop to taste my tongue at all, so i can't report on whether it was espresso-like or not. she didn't object to the tongue entry, nor did she react positively either, but when the rimming began, she was totally gasping and shivering with pleasure. awesome. i'll be honest guys, i've never been with a woman who enjoys anal stimulation the way this one does. i used to honestly wonder if there was such a thing – a woman who truly enjoys anal play. the great female anal myth. having been with hundreds of women (not a brag), not a single one of them enjoying anal play, let alone actively seeking it out, i had lost hope of its existence. but behold: it does exist! awesome. who knows which other myths might also be true. maybe i'll take up my friend on his offer to go on a great sasquatch hunt.

back to the rimming. i tried various techniques (circular, lateral, switching, different pressures, flitting, etc.) and based upon her response found the one that worked best for her. i worked her ass for perhaps 3-4 minutes, and then i moved downwards to her gaping pussy. she had worked herself up into such a state with the assplay that when i plunged my mouth down to engulf her clitoris for the first time, she literally groaned out a long, sustained, loud 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.'

her ass bucked once, then her pussy was shoved heavily towards my mouth. she reached backwards and put her hand on the back of my head and pulled my head forcefully into her pussy. resistance, as the borg say, was futile, so i applied heavy, quick, rhythmic tongue pressure on her pussy. she came within 30 seconds, and she squealed about siaow leew. she pulled away from me, unable to take any physical contact for 60 seconds or so.

i lay back, sweating, dick pointing straight up at the stars that were circling in my vision, breathing heavily, gasping for oxygen and moral redemption. she giggled, then she cuddled, and a few moments later she was off to [CodeWord134] and shower. what is wrong with me? tongue-in-the-ass, tsk, tsk, tsk, kumbu you really are one sick fuck. umm, maybe she'll let me do that again...?

she came back and we chatted a few minutes, and then she told me it was my turn. out comes the trojan, she licks her hand and this time she applies it to her ass. please be advised, flight niner-niner-four, you are cleared for take off.

she gets on all fours in front of me, lubes her ass up some more with her spit, and says “come”. i get onto my knees, she grabs my dick and guides it homeward. as she does so she whispers “slowly, ok?” i agree, and the pressing of little kumbu against ass-flesh begins. it is tough going and i am making no headway, so i pull away, and slowly insert my index finger into her ass. she sighs. i turn the finger around a little, trying to create a little wiggle room. she slowly relaxes, and i then insert my middle finger too. she murmurs something while i continue to open her up. i then catch a peek of her insides, pink and bright like the inside of a grapefruit. i know it is time.

with my other hand, i lick and moisten little kumbu again, and with my fingers still in her ass i try to slide the little guy into the chamber. i replace my fingers for little kumbu, and she's now locked and loaded. i push my way in slowly, half way down the shaft. i pause, and then progress slowly deeper. and then a little more, until i finally make my way all the way down into her depths. she takes it all, not so much as a whimper. her head is buried in the pillow, so i don't have a sense of whether she is enjoying it or not, but my dick is busting and my heart is pounding 1000 beats per minute. little kumbu is sitting right in the middle of this girl, deep within her bowels, sitting in warmth and uncharted territory. the girl is totally impaled at this point, and i wonder how this could possibly be a good thing. but it feels so fucking fantastic, how could it possible be a bad thing?? i feel my pulse bursting at my temples, my knees are weak, my breathe is short. i wonder, after years of practice and pain, have i finally found nirvana? is this what buddha meant by enlightenment? perhaps the rapture is upon us? am i surrounded by angels and djin? is this disney land for mongers? elvis, is that you??

given my mental state at this point, there was no way this was going to last very long. despite this being my second pop, which usually lasts much, much longer, i knew this would be over within a few moments. she began to slowly rock back and forth, and i pulled in and out very slowly, and it was all going well until i decided to look down. damn it kumbu, why must you always look? the sight of little kumbu busting open that ass was all it took. i felt a wave of emotion wash through me and i smiled down at little kumbu. the little guy has worked so hard for me over the years, been a tireless, loyal servant through the good times and the bad. bless his little heart, he deserved this, and so in a moment of affection and charity, i decided to let him have his moment. as expected, in a flash, my body was pulsing with pleasure and pain at the same time. my vision went blurry, and for a moment i saw monet's bridge over the lily pond, tranquil, colorful, diffuse. i smiled, as the fluid left me, and i gently collapsed upon my sweet, beautiful girl.

we lay there 30 seconds while little kumbu deflated, and then the gentle but painful extraction began. damn, she was tight as hell, and that combined with kumbu's sensitivity made for a painful extraction. she showered while i rested, then i showered, and then into bed for cuddling.

she stayed until 3am when she asked for permission to leave. i paid her 2000b-600b+500b. the 2000b was the regular price, minus the 600b for drinks at cavern, plus 500b for the extra anal effort, and then i kicked in an extra 100b to round it off. she was perfectly happy with all of that, as was i.

final reflections
where else in the world can you get a gfe, pse multiple-pop anal experience for 2750b, just over $80 total? i slightly regretted that i had gone with the same girl twice in a row, since part of the purpose of coming to pattaya is to enjoy variety. but shit, with this kind of service, i am a lock for a repeat visit, perhaps several more. if that happens, i am unlikely to report on it here, as it would be repetitive. but let's just say that when one finds something as special as this, one must do all that is possible to enjoy it while it lasts. i just wonder when she will drop the hammer and try to make this into a sponsored deal or a long-term relationship. needless to say, kumbu knows better, and he cannot be caged like that.

[Kumbu]

Part III. Here, I pull the same girl from Baccara as I pulled a few days previously. We do pretty much the same as before, plus one extra, very interesting twist (which comes in the next post).

I walked in to Baccara, and it was much emptier than usual. But it's a Monday night. The waiters recognize me and they all descend like a pack of wolves to the kill. I am engulfed in waiter-hands, some giving excessive wai, some grabbing my elbow to motion me towards the execution site, which has already been identified – a lounge chair in the middle of the stage. I am taken on the wave of waiters to the chair and carefully placed in my place, awaiting the arrival of the executioner. Within seconds, the dreaded ass-wielding executioner arrives. I feel the mixture of trepidation and excitement as I look slowly upwards at her. Standing on stage right in front of me, topless, wearing white straps up her right leg, standing with her arms akimbo looking down at me like the sentenced-criminal about to be put to the ax (or ass, as the case may be). I manage a frightened smile at her, and she turns her back and pokes her rounded ass at me.

Fuck yeah.

I'll skip the niceties – I paid her BF (600B), waited while she got dressed and off we went. Upon exit, she asks me if I want to go back to the hotel or have a drink in Cavern. This is obviously a way for her to curry favor with the folks at Cavern – she brings some schmuck in to drop cash there, it obviously does her cred a great deal of good. I know how the game works, and I understand how it helps her. So I put it to her plainly: whatever I spend at Cavern comes out of what I pay her at the end of the night. I was sure she would opt for the hotel, but to my complete and utter amazement, she chose the Cavern option. Very interesting. The power of society.

So we go to Cavern, and upon entry, I am greeted like a superstar. Waiters here too engulf me, all slapping me on the back, one guy giving me a shoulder rub, each jostling with each other for the chance to serve this lamb at the slaughterhouse. We finally order a drink each, and she asks me to buy mama san a drink. No problem, it is YOUR money I'm spending anyway. Then she asks me to buy her friend a drink. Ditto, YOUR money. But it was amazing to watch her, because this was getting her positively high. The fact that she had this guy dropping drinks for people he was not even going to fuck made her look like a frikkin' rain master. All the other girls were coming over and congratulating her on hooking a sucker and telling her what a great catch I was. I don't understand Thai all that well, but it was pretty obvious what was happening. But wtf, this is HER money, and I am a player in this show that is designed to enhance her own personal image. If it makes me look like a dufus, I don't care. I calculated that it is not costing me any money, but it is helping her feel good about herself. This will invariably translate into positive karma in the bedroom.

While at Cavern, they had a Sekksi Shoh which I must comment on, as I just loved it. They dimmed the lights, cranked up the UV light and out walked these naked girls who had been adorned with body art using fluorescent ink. They had flowers, various birds of flight, other animals, sea shells, painted onto their bodies with fluorescent ink – bright oranges, greens, yellows, it was beautiful. But the clincher was a guy came out with the girls, and he sat down on the stage and one of the girls comes over to him and presented her bare back to him. Then over the next 2-3 minutes, with his paint brush and collection of six fluorescent dyes, he proceeded to create a bright, glowing, spectacular mural on this girl's back. It was a scene of two cocks (roosters) fighting, which is an odd thing to paint, but it was awesome watching it all come together, on the back of this naked woman.

Anyway, I think this is not unique to Cavern, since as soon as the show was over, the artist took off, and my girl told me that he was going to some other club. But it was well worth my time and I applauded louder than anyone else there. A little embarrassing.

[UPDATE: Since that night, I have seen the same kind of thing a couple of times, once in Pattaya, once in Bangkok, so not particularly unique. But great the first time you see it.]

So, I paid up, with the total cost coming to 600B, including tip. We walked over to the hotel, and we showered immediately. She went in first, and I putzed around for a while, until I heard her scream for me: “Tilaaaaak! You no shower wiz me?” Drop pants, linen shirt flies, Kumbu scampering, little Kumbu flapping painfully in the meanwhile.

She soaped me up nice and good, as I did for her as well. That ass was just phenomenal – round, firm , lustrous – it was like a perfect, caffe-latte-colored football, glistening and soapy, awaiting my tongue and lips later tonight. I was horny as hell, and she knew it.

She exits, I wash the little bits she had not managed to get fingers into, and out I go. As I exit, she says:
Cutie: Can I eat you today?
K: You can do whatever you want baby.
Cutie: But it's ok for me to eat you? Last time you eat me three times, but I no eat you.
K: You can eat me, and I can eat you at the same time.
Cutie: Ah, 69, I see.
K: You DO see, don't you?

We never actually did get to the 69, but that's ok. We start to kiss. In the previous session, she had not given me any DFK. She had done lots of kissing, but it was all close-mouthed. Actually, I don't care for the DFK except in that it indicates that what is to follow will be passionate and hot. But if I can get the passionate and hot without the DFK, I am a happy camper. I guess I am conservative in this one way – I prefer not to DFK with someone I am not in fact emotionally intimate with. Weird, I know, but there you have it.

This time, she began to open up her kisses. Her lips would spread a little, revealing some moisture and warmth. But it was not really DFK, more like light FK. But FK nonetheless. We did this for a while, and I just could not contain myself – I had to have her pussy in my mouth again, and I told her as much. She agreed, but she said afterwards she wanted to satisfy me. Ok, whatever, just get that pussy into this here hungry mouth please.

The routine was pretty much like the last time – lots of soft cunnilingus, this time with her being more responsive and noisy in her appreciation. She came after 10-12 minutes of tongue-push-ups, and that was plenty long for me. I was cramping up, but it was worth it.

She was sensitive afterwards, but 5 minutes later she flipped me over and started to suck my dick. Her technique was not particularly noteworthy except in its conspicuous absence of skill – she struggled to find a rhythm, but tried her best, bless her heart. I let her struggle for a good 5 minutes before I put her out of her difficulty. I pulled her up and faked a gasping, breathy, 'Ohmygod, stop before I come.' She sensed the stretch of truth, but appreciated my effort to save face for her.

Next up: Trojans. She reaches over and grabs it, rips off the wrapper with her teeth and inspects it. She notices that it is non-lubricated and asks 'No gel?'. Kumbu: 'No gel, you no like?' And she says 'Never try with no gel.'

She licks her fingers, rubs her pussy a little, slaps the cover on little Kumbu, and mounts up. She's a small girl, maybe 5'1”, weighing in at an eye-popping 46kg, most of it on her butt. So she was a little ginger in the insertion. She carefully sat down, unable to sit all the way. So she leaned forward and we started the gentle rocking. My hands were on her ass the whole time, squeezing, spreading, fondling.

3 minutes later, she leans over onto her side and maneuvers me such that we are in the spooning position, me entering her from behind. I love this position – hands have the choice of breasts or butt, you get full view of her large hips, it's awesome. This lasted a further 3 minutes before I felt an orgasm coming, so I immediately pulled out and changed into missionary. I can do missionary until the roosters sing – it's my safe position. So we went at it for 5 minutes or so before she got bored.

I sensed she was really trying to get me to orgasm, not because she was trying to end it soon, but because she wanted me to be satisfied. I was sure that if I finished now, a second, third and perhaps fourth would be on offer, but I prefer not to do multiple pops, which I had not quite conveyed to her earlier.

Anyway, she twirls and twists being careful to keep little Kumbu inside her the whole time, and before I knew it, she had found a way for her to be on her stomach with me ontop of her entering her directly from the back. She was lying flat, not doggie style, and so it was like fucking a perfect, natural ass, right into the beautiful cheeks.

Really? Does Kumbu stand any chance? I really wanted to give anal a try, but after three seconds of this I knew the writing was on the wall. I braced myself for the most intense orgasm I could muster, and when it came it did not disappoint. Long, convulsing, and deeply satisfying, hands squeezing those luscious ass cheeks as I the energy departed and the fog of fatigue descended. I lay on top of her for a moment or two, expecting her to want to pull out and run off. But she lay there with me inside of her for another 5 minutes as we teased each other about how we each orgasmed.

Next report: Round Two

[Amjeck]

Near Oasis in Soi Buakhaow.

Little hole-in-the-wall place, totally empty when Oasis was packed. Only a handful of girls, but proportionately more cuties than Oasis. I ended up upstairs with 2 girls, 1000 each plus barfines (500 and 600). At least they didn't charge for the room. The one girl got really horny and rode herself to an orgasm, which made the younger girl I did first jealous, so she hopped on again as well to catch up.

Where exactly is this place? How old were the girls?

[Rocksoff]

Near Oasis in Soi Buakhaow.

Little hole-in-the-wall place, totally empty when Oasis was packed. Only a handful of girls, but proportionately more cuties than Oasis. I ended up upstairs with 2 girls, 1000 each plus barfines (500 and 600). At least they didn't charge for the room. The one girl got really horny and rode herself to an orgasm, which made the younger girl I did first jealous, so she hopped on again as well to catch up.

[Oldian]

These are the kinds of ambiguities that are really frustrating in some languages. In Vietnamese for example, SAD and BORED are the same word. There's another one like that, it's not coming to mind at the moment, but it's 2 pretty-much opposite-meaning adjectives that use the same word. Whoever invented this language should be fired.

Probably same as with the use of sanuk, since it is always used to describe any kind of pleasurable experience, yet can limit an explanation. I once took a girl to go see History of Violence or whatever the name of that Viggo Mortenson film was. I thought the film was very well done, very intense, but also had a lot of blood and guts and certainly not the easiest film to watch or relax to. When the movie finished, the girl looked at me and said, "sanuk mai? " Yeah, it was a good film, but was it fun or a pleasurable experience? I think I'd rather use another word.

[Sterile]

Hey Guys

Am about to be back in Pattaya and am going to hook up with a girl who I met last year. She wants to know if there is any boy bar equivalent of the agogo bars that we can go to together. Obviously I know there are places where gays go, but anywhere as a couple that we can not look totally out of place....we are both pretty open minded