Pattaya Reports

[Banana Boi]

I had a long term (3 years) relationship with a Thai girl. She was working in the bank. <snip> I would not look for a long time relationship with a Thai bargirl.

I agree with this. Dating a regular Thai girl is fine albeit difficult to obtain and keep as a tourist. I certainly don't recommend dating a bar girl in Thailand. It would compare with dating a messed up stripper in your home town. Great to hang out with but you certainly don't want to date one long term. Also, as someone said it completely defeats the purpose of Thailand.

Prepare for a mind-blowing deus ex machina that nobody saw coming.

Ex Machina. Enjoyed that movie.

[RioHeart]

I do not think it is about soliciting business. Chicks always try to share like that. That is the same thing that leads them to Pattaya. It is a collectivist culture.

That may be true in general but she didn't just sit there and then eat her food, she obviously went off looking for a customer. After I declined she was desperately searching around.

[Mr Enternational]

Experienced a new one yesterday. I had just had an infected tooth pulled and was chilling on the boardwalk on Pattaya beach with a mouth that felt like the size of a grapefruit. This SW walked up to me with 2 bags of takeaway food and wanted to share her food with me. When I explained my situation she got so dejected I thought she was going to cry. But even if I could have eaten something I really would have no interest in sharing her food, which seemed like a new way to solicit business.

I do not think it is about soliciting business. Chicks always try to share like that. That is the same thing that leads them to Pattaya. It is a collectivist culture.

[RioHeart]

Experienced a new one yesterday. I had just had an infected tooth pulled and was chilling on the boardwalk on Pattaya beach with a mouth that felt like the size of a grapefruit. This SW walked up to me with 2 bags of takeaway food and wanted to share her food with me. When I explained my situation she got so dejected I thought she was going to cry. But even if I could have eaten something I really would have no interest in sharing her food, which seemed like a new way to solicit business. She sat there a few minutes just looking around and begrudgingly walked off in search for a customer. I could have misread the whole incident but I don't think so.

BTW The tooth pull cost me 1100 baht which included antibiotics and pain killers. Pretty cheap price.

[Member #4733]

I still invite you guys to make a prediction as to the actual ending. Some of you carry on like you know how this turns out.

I guess I am beyond that. At first I liked your story and it does have some good parts. But you obsessively are evaluating her truthfulness to you. To me that doesn't seem triggered by her actions. Much more by your own personality. A Brazilian writer once said "The advantage of dishonest people is that they assume others to be dishonest as well and use that to their own benefit. The disadvantage of honest people is that they assume other people to be honest like themselves and often are deceived in this". You ask her to be truthful while going to other prostitutes. I guess that says it all and the end cannot be more telling than that. Your story doesn't tell so much about a relationship between a Thai woman and a Western man. It is not about informing others. It is about exposing yourself.

Boo.

[Whoreman]

This is huge folks. Close to the end!. Nail biting suspense. Hard to find comparisons for expected viewership, maybe final episode of Friends or Seinfeld. Even will Trump concede or not doesn't come close. Gone viral on all social media platforms and how it ends is the biggest betting market on Belfair.

Prepare for a mind-blowing deus ex machina that nobody saw coming.

[Franciscass]

We are getting close to end.

This is huge folks. Close to the end!. Nail biting suspense. Hard to find comparisons for expected viewership, maybe final episode of Friends or Seinfeld. Even will Trump concede or not doesn't come close. Gone viral on all social media platforms and how it ends is the biggest betting market on Belfair.

[Sammon]

I'm even simpler, I no longer get involved in relationships. Getting a GF in Thailand, Pattaya especially, defeats the purpose of coming here.

I had a long term (3 years) relationship with a Thai girl. She was working in the bank. Very pretty young (21) pleasant girl to be with. At that time I was doing business in China and would travel back and forth every couple of months. I would go to BKK back and forth from China. I met het on the street near Nana. I assumed she is a SW although she was dressed not in a provocative way. We both smiled at each other and stopped to chat. Asked where she is going she replied she is on her lunch break. Next question is where she works. Then I realized she is not a SW. So we both had lunch together. She could speak English. First day we went for dinner only. After that one thing led to another and she stayed with me.

Later during our relationship we went to Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Golden Triangle and also many destinations in Thailand.

I would not look for a long time relationship with a Thai bargirl.

[Java Man]

My opinion is that anyone who posts or is on the ISG forum should probably not be seeking long-term relationships at the moment.

I agree!

healthy relationships

That's an oxymoron to me. LOL.

Maybe you're relaying this love story to help another ISG member learn and avoid your same mistakes?

Yes, he's stated that several times.

[Java Man]

I am simple. If you not actually living in Thailand don't Do relationships.

I'm even simpler, I no longer get involved in relationships. Getting a GF in Thailand, Pattaya especially, defeats the purpose of coming here.

[T Chizzle]

And, guys, we are getting close to end. I still invite you guys to make a prediction as to the actual ending. Some of you carry on like you know how this turns out.

My long-term prediction for your relationship would be that it is, unfortunately, not good.

My opinion is that anyone who posts or is on the ISG forum should probably not be seeking long-term relationships at the moment. If you're communicating on this forum and participating in activities that relate to P4 P, then it tells me that in terms of love-life, you would be more happy if you stick with the convenience of paying for short-term "love" and affection like the majority of us ISG members. Healthy, long-term "love" is just not in our DNA at the moment as long as we find ourselves here or similar types of forums.

Also, healthy relationships have strong foundations of trust. It seems like you have a lot of mistrust in this relationship. Trying to constantly force trust or validate trust seems futile to me. Based on initial interactions and continuing communication, you either have trust for each other or you don't. Having selective trust or no trust is just not going work in the long-run.

There's nothing wrong if your goal is to have short-term relationships. Most of the ISG community's reports are based on that anyways; short 1-2 hour relationships.

And this has nothing to do with the fact that she comes with a background in P4 P. I think two people can find love and happiness anywhere.

It's just the fact that I don't think you're in a healthy, mental state where you'd be happy in a healthy, long-term relationship.

Again, my prediction is that the ultimate ending to your love story will end in gloom. Sure, you two could still "be together" right now in whatever relationship dynamic that you two have accepted. Unfortunately, I think the ultimate ending for your relationship is going to be how I predict.

If I were to also predict if anyone's advice or comments on here is going to have any meaningful impact and influence on your decisions, then I would predict nope. No one here is going to be able to help you change course on any roads or paths that you decide to take.

Also, I could totally be wrong in thinking that you're seeking advice from the ISG community at all. Maybe you're relaying this love story to help another ISG member learn and avoid your same mistakes? Or maybe it's psychologically therapeutic for you to post your love story on this public forum to help clear your mind and makes you feel better? I have no idea why.

In any case, you should be happy with your choices, and if things work out how you wanted, then good for you.

Good luck!

[Mr Enternational]

And speaking of the girl's social media page (ok, I am diverging a bit), I saw where she asked for blood donations for herself in the early days. And she raised 10,000 baht from her followers to pay for a more appropriate prosthetic limb than what the government would provide.

Seems like I mentioned before if the people are really in dire need, why couldn't they just ask all of their friends. Worked for a leg. Why did nobody think to do it when it came to losing a house and land?

But while we had some nice and occasionally deep conversations, they still didn't seem like what they should be if we were really boyfriend and girlfriend.

I am still not getting the idea of getting into some kind of relationship with someone that is not doing the things you like. I thought people got into relationships because they found someone that does the things they like. For instance I love getting my dick sucked from the back. I meet a chick and say hey this is the chick for me even though she never sucks my dick from the back. Then every week I complain to my buddies that my girl never sucks my dick from the back. That would beg the question as to why I got involved with her in the first place.

But allow me to discuss one interesting discussion we had concerning honesty. She and the doctors knew the girl was likely to lose part of her leg from day one, but Secret kept telling the then 16 why / o it was all going to be fine. I asked why she was not telling the girl the truth. She said that as long as there was hope she wanted her sister to believe everything would be ok. She felt it was better to think everything was ok than to know the sad truth before you actually had to know it. This is not the way we typically feel in the west, but this was not my sister and not my country. What experience do some you guys have with this that they can justify lying?

Why is that not typical in the west? Sure it is. I remember when my aunt was lying in the hospital dying and the doctor told her she had a maximum of 2 weeks to live. My dad got all bent out of shape that they would tell her that. Why did my dad not want the doctor to tell my aunt the truth? Same aunt when I was taking a photography class in grad school I did self portraits where my girl left me and I killed myself. My aunt was disappointed that I would do such a project and thought I should have done something more happy with flowers and shit. People of all cultures want to shy away from sad shit no matter how true it may be.

Back home, after over 6 weeks in the hospital, Secret finally broke down to ask for help. With the land having been paid off, she didn't need much to survive on, and she only wanted a bit to help the children with some things for school. The son was growing and the sister, well, needed some things to accommodate her new handicapped life. I asked how much she wanted. She would not give a figure, almost getting upset that I had to ask, like I should just know. I said I couldn't read her mind.

Say okay I will send 300 baht. Why hemming and hawing all the time? One thing people on this planet will always need is money. You did not solve their life by paying off the house. More shit is going to come up all the time that requires money. Never even turn that spigot on, because you will never be able to water that flower enough.

Too many foreigners have gone to places like Thailand and learned that lesson the hard expensive way; never taking note from those that went before them and were sent home destitute after they were used up. Like that funny ass movie My Thai Bride where the dude from England had to beg his Thai wife to buy him a ticket to get back to England after he had spent his life savings on her and her family.

It was obvious she felt shame at having to ask me, and later she said she feared I would leave her if she was a burden to me. But I just wanted to know what she needed to buy and how much it would cost, rather than for me to just send her a wad of cash. But when I said "tell me what you need! She clammed up and said "never mind" and refused to talk about it anymore. Stubborn Thai women! Haha. I let it drop for a little while, curious to see if she would come back to ask again, but she didn't. Next day I brought it back up, and by asking questions I got her to start answering. Is this typical for Thai women?

The total amount was peanuts but, of course a yellow flag went up. Was I growing the black hole which would eventually suck me and my finances in?

What yellow flag? This is all your doing. It seems like you are the stubborn one being a glutton for being the family ATM by not letting it go. As I said before, it is not the chicks that go begging for money. It is the foreigners that force it upon them. You couldn't just drop it and be happy not having to send money. You had to force out of her how much you should send to her.

Then one of her friends or followers started talking about going to Pattaya. She replied there was no work there but, a few days later she is all in, saying "Let's go to Pattaya!" She even got a brief message from her previous bar manager, asking how she was doing. She replied "fine" with a few smiley faces. But I wondered if she was joking about going.

Pattaya is not just a place that chicks go fuck for money. It is a party place that many go to just to have fun and party and let their hair down. With all the stuff you say was going on in her life then why would she not want to get away and "blow off" (pun intended) some steam?

She said nothing to me about going anywhere.

Does she need to?

LittleBigMan posted a message asking if I knew what I was digging up. It is time for me to do some digging to find out where she is and what she will be doing. True, it is none of my business, but if she is lying to me I had the right to stop seeing her.

Why? Why? Why do you even care where she was and what she was doing? Again, what kind of "seeing each other" agreement did you guys have in place?

[LittleBigMan]

At the current time of the story, she and I had shared many, many thousands of text messages. I could count on both hands the number of 24-hour periods where we had not texted each other since early May 2019. I have learned many things about her through our messages. We are not digging. We are simply texting about our lives and these things come out over the weeks and months of conversing. I must assume from the surprise given that the typical BG does not write thousands of messages to her clients, discussing their daily lives?

I am constantly looking for things that need to be dug up. If you have any specifics of something I am missing, please advise. This story is not so much about me, but to help others about to be drawn in by an evil Thai BG. I was obviously drawn, so pointing out what I missed, so as to help someone else avoid the pitfalls and traps, is welcome.

All I will say is I don't have the writing skills as the others and certainly not the time see, I acutally have to attend to some sick buffaloes and hogs. You have enough guys to play around with here texting is what the girls do especially when you already made an installment look at it as phone sex? You can text another 1000 times or as we call it (dig) it wouldn't matter.

[Horatio]

You come across to me as a horrible manipulative predator. I used to really enjoy and look forward to your posts. Does she know you're relating all this about her for your fun.

Ok, so Secret's sister was involved in a horrible accident and had to be transported to a distant hospital for care. Secret, along with their mother, went to stay with the girl to provide care and support. It was a long and tortuous experience for them all and a moving story, and I will try to be brief.

But first, as the integrity of the mother has been questioned, I will state that the mother accompanied them to the hospital to support her daughters. She is physically challenged, suffering from skin diseases due to diabetes complications and a long hard life in the rice fields. She stayed with them for nearly 3 weeks, first sleeping on the floor in the visitor's lounge. I could not stand for that, for if the mother caught CV-19 she would likely have died, and this was during the beginning states of the virus in Thailand. I arranged for them to stay in a hotel (they neither asked for nor hinted at wanting a room) then fortunately, a week later the family demanded the mother go home for her safety, after which Secret was able to share her sister's bed in the ward to save money. I think I did the right thing. I later discovered that I impressed the mother, as well as the teen, who I had sent flowers. It was her first time anyone sent her flowers, and it was the rage on her social media page.

And speaking of the girl's social media page (ok, I am diverging a bit), I saw where she asked for blood donations for herself in the early days. And she raised 10,000 baht from her followers to pay for a more appropriate prosthetic limb than what the government would provide. And later she started an online business selling clothes and cosmetics to add to the family finances, plus the 16 why / o son found work and started contributing to the finances as well. I am impressed by this girl, who took the initiative and is planning to attend college and study nursing.

During this time in the hospital Secret had more time to text than when she was working at the factory, and we learned more about each other. We were slowly growing closer, but long-distance relationships with all of the problems of distance, language and age are difficult to deal with and overcome. We mostly talked about family, our future plans, her family, my family at times, some of our hopes and dreams. She was hesitant to talk around her dreams, saying they never came true for her. But while we had some nice and occasionally deep conversations, they still didn't seem like what they should be if we were really boyfriend and girlfriend. And that was understandable. It was over 6 months since we were last together and she had been to hell and only a fraction of the way back. Romance was not high on her priority list at this point. But, in hindsight, she was sticking around and we shared thousands of texts. That was saying something I suppose.

But allow me to discuss one interesting discussion we had concerning honesty. She and the doctors knew the girl was likely to lose part of her leg from day one, but Secret kept telling the then 16 why / o it was all going to be fine. I asked why she was not telling the girl the truth. She said that as long as there was hope she wanted her sister to believe everything would be ok. She felt it was better to think everything was ok than to know the sad truth before you actually had to know it. This is not the way we typically feel in the west, but this was not my sister and not my country. What experience do some you guys have with this that they can justify lying?

Back home, after over 6 weeks in the hospital, Secret finally broke down to ask for help. With the land having been paid off, she didn't need much to survive on, and she only wanted a bit to help the children with some things for school. The son was growing and the sister, well, needed some things to accommodate her new handicapped life. I asked how much she wanted. She would not give a figure, almost getting upset that I had to ask, like I should just know. I said I couldn't read her mind. It was obvious she felt shame at having to ask me, and later she said she feared I would leave her if she was a burden to me. But I just wanted to know what she needed to buy and how much it would cost, rather than for me to just send her a wad of cash. But when I said "tell me what you need! She clammed up and said "never mind" and refused to talk about it anymore. Stubborn Thai women! Haha. I let it drop for a little while, curious to see if she would come back to ask again, but she didn't. Next day I brought it back up, and by asking questions I got her to start answering. If I said something like "This costs x baht and that costs yy baht, right? That was fine. But if I said "you want me to give you zz baht" as more of a statement than a question, she would back away. Is this typical for Thai women?

The total amount was peanuts but, of course a yellow flag went up. Was I growing the black hole which would eventually suck me and my finances in? She had to be very low on cash by that point and she needed work soon or I might her asking me or running off somewhere to make money. The last 15 months had been horrible for her. First the disgusting bar work and then a large degree of unemployment, her accident, dealing with me, the sister's accident and continued unemployment. Before the last half of 2019 and meeting me and working in the bar, she had never been unemployed. She was not only exhausted and mentally drained, she was sick with worry and guilt for failing to care for her family.

Ok. So by this time I had discovered her social media page. It had some interesting things, some of relevance which I have discussed previously, and I may bring up a few more later. Her injured sister had made progress and was able to fend for herself now. Then one of her friends or followers started talking about going to Pattaya. She replied there was no work there but, a few days later she is all in, saying "Let's go to Pattaya!" She even got a brief message from her previous bar manager, asking how she was doing. She replied "fine" with a few smiley faces. But I wondered if she was joking about going. She said nothing to me about going anywhere. Then one day she was shopping with the kids, and then she goes dark. I knew she was going somewhere far away at that point. We pretty much had a set schedule of when we texted, and when she missed two of those schedules, I guessed she had traveled to either Bangkok or Pattaya. When she finally texted me again, she excitedly told me she was leaving the village to start massage school. Sheesh. But, indeed, over a year ago she had told me she wanted to have a massage shop at her house. The house was large enough and, I guess, after 2 months of school, she could get her license and open her own business. She thought she could make enough money in her village to survive. Since she had told me before there was some legitimacy to the story.

She sent me a photo of the apartment she would be sharing with a girlfriend, so she was there already. I was quite suspicious, as she had not told me any of this in advance. I mean, one day I don't hear from her and the next she is some city signing up for massage school. To me, it seemed obvious she was in Pattaya, and she was hiding that fact from me. Was she there to attend school or to do adult work though? After several days I asked where she was, as she had not yet told me. She gave me the name of a small city about an hour away from her home, a border town. I supposed it could have a massage school, and she said her staying with a friend would save money. But my gut told me she was in Pattaya.

But I had been wrong before. I decided to play along and act like I believed her (and maybe she was telling me the truth).

LittleBigMan posted a message asking if I knew what I was digging up. It is time for me to do some digging to find out where she is and what she will be doing. True, it is none of my business, but if she is lying to me I had the right to stop seeing her. With knowledge of the truth, I can decide what action that is appropriate for me. And, guys, we are getting close to end. I still invite you guys to make a prediction as to the actual ending. Some of you carry on like you know how this turns out.

[FL Hawk]

Ok, so Secret's sister was involved in a horrible accident and had to be transported to a distant hospital for care. Secret, along with their mother, went to stay with the girl to provide care and support. It was a long and tortuous experience for them all and a moving story, and I will try to be brief.

But first, as the integrity of the mother has been questioned, I will state that the mother accompanied them to the hospital to support her daughters. She is physically challenged, suffering from skin diseases due to diabetes complications and a long hard life in the rice fields. She stayed with them for nearly 3 weeks, first sleeping on the floor in the visitor's lounge. I could not stand for that, for if the mother caught CV-19 she would likely have died, and this was during the beginning states of the virus in Thailand. I arranged for them to stay in a hotel (they neither asked for nor hinted at wanting a room) then fortunately, a week later the family demanded the mother go home for her safety, after which Secret was able to share her sister's bed in the ward to save money. I think I did the right thing. I later discovered that I impressed the mother, as well as the teen, who I had sent flowers. It was her first time anyone sent her flowers, and it was the rage on her social media page.

And speaking of the girl's social media page (ok, I am diverging a bit), I saw where she asked for blood donations for herself in the early days. And she raised 10,000 baht from her followers to pay for a more appropriate prosthetic limb than what the government would provide. And later she started an online business selling clothes and cosmetics to add to the family finances, plus the 16 why / o son found work and started contributing to the finances as well. I am impressed by this girl, who took the initiative and is planning to attend college and study nursing.

During this time in the hospital Secret had more time to text than when she was working at the factory, and we learned more about each other. We were slowly growing closer, but long-distance relationships with all of the problems of distance, language and age are difficult to deal with and overcome. We mostly talked about family, our future plans, her family, my family at times, some of our hopes and dreams. She was hesitant to talk around her dreams, saying they never came true for her. But while we had some nice and occasionally deep conversations, they still didn't seem like what they should be if we were really boyfriend and girlfriend. And that was understandable. It was over 6 months since we were last together and she had been to hell and only a fraction of the way back. Romance was not high on her priority list at this point. But, in hindsight, she was sticking around and we shared thousands of texts. That was saying something I suppose.

But allow me to discuss one interesting discussion we had concerning honesty. She and the doctors knew the girl was likely to lose part of her leg from day one, but Secret kept telling the then 16 why / o it was all going to be fine. I asked why she was not telling the girl the truth. She said that as long as there was hope she wanted her sister to believe everything would be ok. She felt it was better to think everything was ok than to know the sad truth before you actually had to know it. This is not the way we typically feel in the west, but this was not my sister and not my country. What experience do some you guys have with this that they can justify lying?

Back home, after over 6 weeks in the hospital, Secret finally broke down to ask for help. With the land having been paid off, she didn't need much to survive on, and she only wanted a bit to help the children with some things for school. The son was growing and the sister, well, needed some things to accommodate her new handicapped life. I asked how much she wanted. She would not give a figure, almost getting upset that I had to ask, like I should just know. I said I couldn't read her mind. It was obvious she felt shame at having to ask me, and later she said she feared I would leave her if she was a burden to me. But I just wanted to know what she needed to buy and how much it would cost, rather than for me to just send her a wad of cash. But when I said "tell me what you need! She clammed up and said "never mind" and refused to talk about it anymore. Stubborn Thai women! Haha. I let it drop for a little while, curious to see if she would come back to ask again, but she didn't. Next day I brought it back up, and by asking questions I got her to start answering. If I said something like "This costs x baht and that costs yy baht, right? That was fine. But if I said "you want me to give you zz baht" as more of a statement than a question, she would back away. Is this typical for Thai women?

The total amount was peanuts but, of course a yellow flag went up. Was I growing the black hole which would eventually suck me and my finances in? She had to be very low on cash by that point and she needed work soon or I might her asking me or running off somewhere to make money. The last 15 months had been horrible for her. First the disgusting bar work and then a large degree of unemployment, her accident, dealing with me, the sister's accident and continued unemployment. Before the last half of 2019 and meeting me and working in the bar, she had never been unemployed. She was not only exhausted and mentally drained, she was sick with worry and guilt for failing to care for her family.

Ok. So by this time I had discovered her social media page. It had some interesting things, some of relevance which I have discussed previously, and I may bring up a few more later. Her injured sister had made progress and was able to fend for herself now. Then one of her friends or followers started talking about going to Pattaya. She replied there was no work there but, a few days later she is all in, saying "Let's go to Pattaya!" She even got a brief message from her previous bar manager, asking how she was doing. She replied "fine" with a few smiley faces. But I wondered if she was joking about going. She said nothing to me about going anywhere. Then one day she was shopping with the kids, and then she goes dark. I knew she was going somewhere far away at that point. We pretty much had a set schedule of when we texted, and when she missed two of those schedules, I guessed she had traveled to either Bangkok or Pattaya. When she finally texted me again, she excitedly told me she was leaving the village to start massage school. Sheesh. But, indeed, over a year ago she had told me she wanted to have a massage shop at her house. The house was large enough and, I guess, after 2 months of school, she could get her license and open her own business. She thought she could make enough money in her village to survive. Since she had told me before there was some legitimacy to the story.

She sent me a photo of the apartment she would be sharing with a girlfriend, so she was there already. I was quite suspicious, as she had not told me any of this in advance. I mean, one day I don't hear from her and the next she is some city signing up for massage school. To me, it seemed obvious she was in Pattaya, and she was hiding that fact from me. Was she there to attend school or to do adult work though? After several days I asked where she was, as she had not yet told me. She gave me the name of a small city about an hour away from her home, a border town. I supposed it could have a massage school, and she said her staying with a friend would save money. But my gut told me she was in Pattaya.

But I had been wrong before. I decided to play along and act like I believed her (and maybe she was telling me the truth).

LittleBigMan posted a message asking if I knew what I was digging up. It is time for me to do some digging to find out where she is and what she will be doing. True, it is none of my business, but if she is lying to me I had the right to stop seeing her. With knowledge of the truth, I can decide what action that is appropriate for me. And, guys, we are getting close to end. I still invite you guys to make a prediction as to the actual ending. Some of you carry on like you know how this turns out.