Thread: Pattaya Reports
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10-07-20 04:59 #31009
Posts: 5427Originally Posted by Genesis77 [View Original Post]
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10-07-20 04:45 #31008
Posts: 5427Originally Posted by AggieDad1 [View Original Post]
If she never gets or keeps a job that long or for that many quarters and never becomes a U.S. citizen, your financial responsibility to support her just goes on and on into her old age and to her death or deportation I suppose.
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10-07-20 04:43 #31007
Posts: 1335Originally Posted by MrEnternational [View Original Post]
Be as subservient as you want but don't give them the ability to affect your life.
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10-07-20 03:52 #31006
Posts: 1222My Two Cents
To those who might fall in love with a Thai girl.
Firstly let's put to rest the nonsense that all Thai girls are out to scam you. Some are capable for sure but not the majority. Don't let the begrudges put you off. It can work. Over 20 years living here I know of multiple situations where it has, twice I was close myself, it didn't work out but no problem, actually prefer being single.
While it can work there are myriad problems falling for a bar girl and even if it's not the mindset of the girl when she first meets you it's very possible you will end up significantly out of pocket when the affair comes to an end. You absolutely need to have a healthy dose of skepticism but sometimes that goes out the window when you become blind crazy infatuated with a young beautiful long black haired Thai beauty. For you its idyllic love for her it's just some older guy telling her he loves her and impressing her with money and gifts. She has no romantic feelings for him and may not even pretend to but she will not refuse his generosity, why would she. Eventually he comes to his senses followed by heartache and pain and a depleted bank account. So rule one don't be foolish with money. Pay her scale for her time, take her to nice restaurants and a small gift now and again until you get to know much better. In other words take your time.
First and foremost realize how she makes her living because after falling for her you will have three choices. Agree with her to get a regular job which will pay peanuts, agree to not have a problem with her continuing in her chosen profession or ask her to stop and agree to support her and often by extension her family who depend on her.
Then it comes to trying to figure out is the relationship real, can it work or is she just with you for what's in it for her. In other words can you trust her? Some telltale signs you should not.
Early on asking for money for some personal or family emergency.
Suggesting you go shopping particularly to gold shops.
When you're away making silly excuses for not answering her phone when you call.
Ok so none of that is happening and it getting more serious and you begin to wonder will it work out long term. Some considerations to ponder.
Does she have a kid (s)? Are you OK if she has?
Is you financial position more than comfortable to support her and her family?
Her age. Better if over 30 as she will be more mature with a more realistic awareness of what's what and lower expectations of what life has in store for her. If she is young and attractive makes lots of money you better be prepared to more than compensate her for her loss of earnings. She is not going to settle for 42 sq meters in Jomtien, dine at the local noodle stall and ride home on the back of an old 150 CC.
Age difference. Not necessarily a deal breaker but should be less than 30 years.
Her looks, better especially if she young not too stunning so as to avoid getting too much attention from predatory admirers.
Are you going to live in Thailand or in your home country? Better in your home country. Expat living here if married is less secure and less interesting than you might imagine. On the downside she will be away from her family and friends which can make adjusting to a new life abroad difficult.
Is she interested in furthering her education, becoming fluent in your language and contributing by finding a job or starting a business? If her interests don't extend beyond sleeping, eating, watching soap operas and spending hours on social media life together can get suffocating boring even if she keeps you warm at night.
Despite all of these obstacles making falling in love with a working girl a long shot I am reminded of what Alfred Lord Tennyson said "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I would add the proviso, that's ok so long as it hasn't cost you an arm and a leg.
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10-07-20 02:47 #31005
Posts: 263Originally Posted by EihTooms [View Original Post]
An affidavit of support is a legally enforceable contract, and the sponsor's responsibility usually lasts until the family member or other individual either becomes a USA Citizen, or is credited with 40 quarters of work (usually 10 years).
Taken off the USCIS website. There is also a similar form for helping someone get a temporary tourist visa which you agree to be liable for some ones costs while visiting and if they overstay their visa.
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10-07-20 01:52 #31004
Posts: 2Hahahahaha
Originally Posted by flhawk [View Original Post]
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10-06-20 22:48 #31003
Posts: 542Update on Secet 2
Ok, let's get on with the story regarding Secret and I, taking up things from last September when we both left Pattaya.
So, did Secret actually leave Pattaya and go find non-adult work? Yes, she did, but not yet. Her trip home was delayed due to heavy rain and flooding which closed off a highway, but she made it back. Before she left, there was heaving rain in Isan and her mother told her there might be some damage to the house and the rice crops, which was worrisome to her. Now, a BG might have used this flooding as an excuse to ask for money from her boyfriend. And even though Secret had never asked me for money, she was now "retired" with no income source and, with my new knowledge that her friend and roommate was a hardened BG, might she have advised Secret to try to get money out of me? I actually would have been surprised if she had asked, but if she did, what would I do?
And this leads to a moral dilemma and a trap that brings doom upon the hapless gentleman who has fallen for a hardened BG. To help or not to help? If you have the means to help your "special" lady in need, and she is the one you want to marry or at least explore a relationship with in which you will take care of her (e. G. Spend money on her) at some point, why would you not help her? If her family may starve or lose the farm because you won't help them replace their dying water buffalo, then how can you say you love her? Why would she not dump you then and there if her need was real and you would not help? If you can't take care of her, why should she waste time on you? (Or, from a different perspective, if you have stopped giving her money after all the gifts you gave her in Pattaya, you obviously have run out of money so it would be time for her to move on and find someone else willing to be fleeced.) But a good reason not to give her money is because she is lying and if she is and you keep on giving her money, she will lie again and again while your odds of winning over her love in marriage or whatever will approach zero.
As the hardened mongerors will be quick to point out, moral questions such as this have no place in the mongering world. You go to the bar, pay your money, get your service and then you leave. Emotions are left outside the door of the jet that takes you home. If you do this, you don't fall in love, you don't have feelings, you don't buy them stupid gifts, you forget about them when you leave and you don't have to worry about being asked for money after you go home. But, well, things happen, and after around 250 BGs, I fell.
So here I am, waiting for Secret to get home and possibly ask me for money. I am possibly facing what is really my first moral issue with her. I loved her to at least some extent and believed she had been mostly honest with me, as far as I could tell. I was not at all convinced of her devotion to me and given our age difference and other differences, I knew the odds for us ending up together in a loving relationship was nil. I was willing to gamble a bit of money to keep her interest as I enjoyed being with her, but if she was going to ask for a large amount of money to allegedly fix her house at this early point in our possible relationship, I think I would have bugged out at that point as the risks were just too high. As the hardened mongerors will note, again correctly, once you find yourself handing money to a poor Isan girl their requests never stop. Haha Will I experience that?
I could go on regarding this subject, but I will spare you all and happily report the house and rice fields were intact and Secret didn't ask for a single satang. One moral crisis adverted. So while she never acted like a BG to me during this whole time, she wasn't acting so much like a GF either. But I probably wasn't acting like a boyfriend either, at least not the type a poor Isan girl wants to have. She asked for nothing and, well, I gave her nothing. There may be an east meets west situation brewing here.
But yeah, now at home, she spent time doing things around the farm, happy to be there and she gave her mother some rest from the cooking and housework and from monitoring the farm. I might add she loves where she lives and she told me that if I really wanted to come to know her that I would need to come visit her.
We texted morning and evening a bit, not a lot, just chatting about stuff and occasionally making plans for our Phuket trip in November. After not quite 2 weeks at home she then began to prepare to go to Bangkok to look for work, not really looking forward to it as she hates large cities, but happy that she could get back to work at a legit job at least as she needed to make money. Did she hint at me about needing money? Perhaps, but I was waiting to see if we could make it to Phuket before I started handing over cash to her.
One morning I woke up and found a photo from her. I opened up the photo and. Oh my God, her face was covered with blood!
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10-06-20 22:06 #31002
Posts: 15908Originally Posted by HorseTrader [View Original Post]
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10-06-20 21:43 #31001
Posts: 411Originally Posted by AssAddict [View Original Post]
Couple of you tubers building houses in the village.
One old farang is building a $400,000 home in a $30,000 neighborhood. At least he has been married a long time.
The woman's family must be salivating.
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10-06-20 20:46 #31000
Posts: 5427The visa sponsor's financial responsibility
Originally Posted by Beijing4987 [View Original Post]
And I don't recall there being any 10 year time limit on your financial responsibilities in those days. It stretched until and if she became a USA Citizen. Then she was on her own in terms of financial responsibility.
If she didn't marry you but married someone else in the USA, "tag", he was now IT and assumed the responsibility until and if she became a USA Citizen.
Again, that was a couple of decades ago. Maybe it has changed since then. But I would proceed as though that is the way it still is unless I see it spelled out otherwise in clear and plain language on those visa sponsor forms I would be signing.
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10-06-20 20:19 #30999
Posts: 1692Originally Posted by NattyBumpo [View Original Post]
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10-06-20 20:14 #30998
Posts: 1692Originally Posted by MrEnternational [View Original Post]Originally Posted by ShooBree [View Original Post]
It is also impossible to live in different hemispheres and get to know each other well enough for marriage. A couple months of holiday visits isn't the same thing as living together. And make no mistake, the fiancée visa is the only workable way for most of us to bring an Asian woman to America.
As was pointed out by Beijing4987 and Natty Bumpo, if you bring a woman to USA you have certain financial responsibilities and you absolutely need a prenup. When time comes to enforce the prenup (when, not if), it might be impossible to convince a court that a Thai woman even understood the prenup when she signed it before moving to America.
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10-06-20 19:23 #30997
Posts: 3040Originally Posted by Beijing4987 [View Original Post]
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10-06-20 19:00 #30996
Posts: 686On the hook for 10 years
If one marries a foreigner you may be responsible for them for 10 years. The US government in this case would have a lien on your property. Anyone willing to fact check this? A lawyer told this to my friend who was enamored with a Brazilian woman.
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10-06-20 18:17 #30995
Posts: 1184Originally Posted by MrEnternational [View Original Post]