Bubba Boy's Rio Guide

[Bubba Boy]

I am definitely updating this guide now. It should be ready in a week or, actually I have set a deadline of Feb 22 because I have plans after this date.

Hence any suggestion, comments, criticisms please post them.

One thing I will do is put in a better index, an index that will reference each topic by page number. Second thing, I will reduce the number of pages, would like to keep it at 100 pages even.

[Pipe Layer99]

Just go to an internet/phone center and use their services. They are all over the city.

DD

[Psriches]

What is the cheapest way to call home to the US? I was thinking maybe a call center?

[Pipe Layer99]

I recently returned from my 1st trip to Rio. I read a lot of intel in this forum prior to the trip. There was a wealth of knowledge absorbed from reading Bubba's guide. Any 1st timers or others who may have experienced problems - this is a must read for you. Thanks for all who contribute to this forum.

Look for my trip report in the next week. I will also try to figure out how to upload the pics I took with the honeys.

[Bubba Boy]

Sure, I will be sure to send a copy to all people who have contributed.

[Euro100]

On a side note, I have been keeping a Diary of various friends adventures in Rio, kind of like a never ending frat party here, may end up in a book one day..........

Can I order my advance copy? I am sure this is going to be a page turner ...

euro

[Bubba Boy]

Time has flown by, hence I am going to do a mini update, mainly prices. If anyone knows of any errors in my report please post them. I have the updated prices for pretty much every place listed, hence no need to post them. I am also going to attempt to put the report into an easy to download .pdf file.

On a side note, I have been keeping a Diary of various friends adventures in Rio, kind of like a never ending frat party here, may end up in a book one day..........

[Lover Boy #2]

Bubba....with all of the police action at the local clubs over the past few days, your guide is even more essential today than it ever was. Bless you for providing info on clubs I have not been to before, so my ass does not get arrested for taking some ass. To Rio Police.....you suck ass bitches deserve the worst, as you are the worst.

[Gladiator]

Great guide, but shouldn’t it be called ‘Bubba Boy’s Rio Guide’?

In case someone hasn’t yet realised it, Brazil comprises a few more places apart from Rio.

[J Wadd]

That's just plain crazy. Comparing B.A. to S.P or Rio (for sex) is like comparing Reno to L.V.

IMO (and with all due respect),
JW

[Bubba Boy]

Appendix: 1, Buenos Aires, Argentina.

In my opinion the second best mongering option in South America, probably on par with Sao Paulo. Don't expect the same experience as Rio though, that I don't think you will find anywhere else in the world. I was thinking of adding a BA section and a Sampa section but, well, ran out of time quite frankly, maybe next year. This review is the best, most concise breakdown of BA I have seen. For addresses check out http://www.argentinaprivate.com , the directory section of BA private.

Full Throttle posted January 2006 of the available options in BA. Prices in USD Dollars.

Full throttle says:

AM-Evening
1. Apartamentos/ Departamentos

- Perhaps 50-70 known to int'l mongers, unlimited to locals
- Price $24-$50, full hour, room sex
- 2-12 girls
- typically internet girls who stage from there hoping for the high-price
phone call, but settle for the steady income
- Girl quality 4-9, typically many 6.5-7.5's
- Tip $3-$7 for BBBJ. Anal usually included if available
- Strategy: they are relatively close together, especially at BA taxi rates.
If you're not happy, move on until you are!

2. MP's

- Similar to above except a "real" massage is offered
- Massage $20-$25, CBJ $14 extra, BBBJ may/may not be available, but no
extra, sex $20 premium over the original massage price, CBJ included
- Girls similar to above in quality, although you may find younger/prettier.
- Strategy: Use the madam for help in determining who gives the best massage
or whatever you are up for.

Noon-Evening

Above plus Orleans

Orleans is much panned on this forum. The reality is that there are 5-6 gems
among 15 girls, on average. I'm surprised that someone had a negative
experience, because the lighting in Orleans is bright and revealing.

- $70 for an hour+ is very easy to negotiate. Similar price for more time
possible, less money a little more difficult for the good ones.
- No management oversight, so BBBJ and other things MUST be
discussed/negotiated up front.
- Girls vary from 5.5-8.0. 7.0's easy to find. I'm NOT including the handful
of older girls ("Maduras"), because they don't represent what most here
seek. They cater to a specific fetish/preference.
- Strategy: Pre-screen like crazy.


Evening-11PM

Oddly, the slowest part of the day. The Thermas bridge this time gap in Rio.
No such animal in BA. Anyway, the apartamentos and Orleans are open. The
internet girls are always available. There are GREAT local happy hours at
legitimate places.

11PM-4am

1. High-End Clubs (Black, Madaho's)

- Sporadic or continuous strip shows.
- $20 cover, $10 drinks.
- $20-$30 chica drinks. One required for exit.
- Girls will start out at $300. Will usually settle for around $125 for 1-1.5
hours. Additional time is problematic because the house monitors chica time
away, and will fine them.
- Services generally reported good, with major exceptions.
- Many dozens of girls to choose from.
- Girl quality rated 7-10 among guys who insist on frequenting these places,
lower among those of us who think it is more illusory than truly high
quality.
- Total tally for 1 drink for you, 1 for her, and time with her, roughly
$200.
- Strategy: Enjoy these places, but keep an open mind for the other choices.

Bubba edit: I personally do not like Black, it was the number 1 club before Madahos opened, but now it is blown away by it. Madahos is cheaper and has much better looking girls, less of the girls try to out and out fuck you on price as well.

2. Mid-level Clubs (Cattos, Hook, Ness, Jaz, CuttySark, etc.)

- Very sporadic strip shows.
- No cover charge, but beers are now $7.
- Chica drink, required for check-out and encouraged for very fun test drives
is now $14, I think. No less than $12.
- 12-25 girls each establishment.
- Girl quality 5.0-8.5. Age range 20-30.
- Good service and BBBJ is virtually assumed. They ARE accountable to
management.
- Chica price $50-$75. Time 1-hour to all night. 2-hours easy to negotiate
for that price. If you take a girl before a certain time, all-nighters may
require an additional drink.
- Strategy: Test drive! Assume you are going to take the girl first, then buy
her a drink. Move upstairs or to the back room. Test dfk, feel for body
firmness, and just have fun! If she fails any test, you still had a little
fun, and you can shop some more.

3. Low-Tier Clubs (Flores area, Envidia, Doly's)

- $5 entry, includes a 600ml beer.
- Additional beers $3.50, I think.
- Chica drinks, $7.00, I think (note, "I think" always follows things I learn
after midnight).
- Number of girls 25-75.
- Girl+Room 30 minutes $24, 1 hour $40.
- Girl quality 6-9.
- Girl age 19-25.
- Easy to find 7.5's.
- Places that cater to locals, so the ratio from guys to girls becomes high
late.
- CBJ standard and difficult (for me) to work around. GFE's not that common,
but not without precedent.
- Strategy: Midnight is the best time. All the chicas are there, but few of
the Portenos.

4. Excedra

- Indoor/Outdoor coffee shop (and beer)
- In the last month, the quality has been relatively high.
- There are a few hideous creatures. So, what?
- Prices $50-$70.
- Again, no managerial oversight.
- A lot of immigrants (twice, I've been there during INS checks).

5. Kilkenney's and other non-pro/ semi-pro hangouts

- Percentage of working girls now fairly high at this Irish pub on steroids.
Loud and crowded.
- Low cover and medium-high priced drinks for a legitimate place, but the
atmosphere is good.
- No standard pricing/quality, since it attracts such a large cross-section
of people.

6. Newport

-A late-night bar/club in Recoleta.
-I met the absolute love of my life there 5 years ago, but the stories range
from that to very, very bad.
-NO management oversight.
-Jackson believes only girls who have been kicked out of the managed clubs
go there.
-Strategy: Pre-screen, then pre-screen some more, then screen. Never, ever,
ever pay up front. Lock your belongings and bolt-up the mini-bar. Again,
this is anecdotal information as my only experience there was f-ing awesome.

So, that's my summary. A couple of final recommendations:

-If you don't read about a place on the forum or have it recommended, assume it's a clip-joint.

-Stay in an apartment in Recoleta (I have some good recommendations) rather than a hotel. Full Throttle.

[Bubba Boy]

Bubba Report, updated January, 2006. Part 12/12. The final words.

***Daily Routine, a summary of what I do daily when in Rio***

This is what I do on an almost daily basis.

~~Wake up, hit a kilo place or suco bar for lunch. (No one wakes up in time for breakfast.

~~Maybe hit the beach for an hour or 2 or hit a tourist attraction. Call buddies see what is on the agenda.

~~Hit a Terma, early after or mid noon depending upon the strategy for the day. Ie 4x4 early, zona sul Termas anytime.

~~grab something to eat for late dinner at a kilo place or suco bar. If you know enough of them you can find more than enough variety of food to eat there almost everyday.

~~If enough time may hit another terma, maybe just for a drink or rest and then go to Help or at least hang around outside with some friends, I may or may not go in. The longer I stay in Rio the less I go to Help, normally find something else (or someone else) to do

~~Go to bed, either alone or with a new friend.

***Your first step***

Your first sexual experience in Rio should be at a Terma. Why? Well it will get you up and running quickly. It is also the least hassle, least likely place to get you ripped off, and it will form the basis for reference of all future experiences.

***People to Thank***

As I stated in the intro, I have attempted to create 1 resource for Rio. Hence I have used many peoples post and info. All the info have been very carefully screened, I have only used info from people that I know, know their shit. I have also verified a lot of the info myself. People to thank, some helped me with direct input, some helped me just for the quality of their posts.

Sperto, Euro100, Lorenzo, Jaimito Cartero, Doc Bill , Pro (always quality posts despite being a grumpy assed gringo ;-) ), Rio bob (see comments about Pro ;-) ) , GK (excellent quality posts on Sampa). Young and Restless, James Howard, Keldeson, Bandy, Carlos Primeros, Full Throttle. There are also others, I apologise for not listing everybody.

Copy write notice: This report is free to use or distribute, however the following URL must left in tact. http://www.internationalsexguide.info/ It is where I post, it is where I have used other peoples post. It is "our home" and a great resource, hence I would ask you credit it the URL if you post it on another website.

***The Final Words***

The end.

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated December, 2005. January, 2006 - Real Estate


***Property Prices in Rio***

*Suburb* - - - - - - - - - - Maximo - - Medio - - Minimo----(rent)
Ipanema - - - - - - - - - - -1250000 - - 625000 - - 240000-----2730
Leblon - - - - - - - - - - - -1260000 - - 642000 - - 255000-----2827
Lagoa - - - - - - - - - - - - 1200000 - - 545000 - - 220000-----2533
Gavea - - - - - - - - - - - - 1100000 - - 518000 - - 230000-----2087
Urca - - - - - - - - - - - - - 1000000 - - 417000 - - 180000-----2225
Jardin Botanico - - - - - -1000000 - - 437000 - - 220000-----1896
Barra e Racreio - - - - - -1100000 - - 410000 - - 150000-----2074
Copacabana e Leme - - -1050000 - - 381000 - - 165000-----2169
Flamengo e Catete - - - - 1000000 - - 386000 - - 185000----1630
Laranjeiras e C Velho - - -750000 - - 339000 - - 165000----1630
Botafogo e Humaita - - - 560000 - - 332000 - - -175000----1377
Ilha do Governador - - - - 500000 - - 237000 - - - 55000------713
Tijuca e Rio Comprido - -450000 - - 191000 - - - 75000------761
Jacarepagua - - - - - - - - -300000 - - 167000 - - - -55000------716
Meier e Lins - - - - - - - - -350000 - - 159000 - - - 60000------600
Andarai e Grajau - - - - - -360000 - - 159000 - - - 57000------675
Madureira - - - - - - - - - - 230000 - - 126000 - - - -40000-----502
Centro - - - - - - - - - - - - -230000 - - 127000 - - - -50000-----597

NB: Prices quoted in Reals and for a 3 bedroom apartment.

Maximo = was the highest price obtained for the month
Medio = average price for the suburb in the area
Minimo = The cheapest place sold that month.
Rent = Average rent for a unfurnished 3 bed apartment over a 2 1/2 year contract.

The above table (sorry about the formatting ) was taken from OGlobo-16 Oct-05. It shows the maximum (maximo) price of an apartment sold in the area in the last month, the average (medio) and minimum (minimo). It is interesting in that the most expensive suburb in Rio has an average apartment price of USD$300,000. This would not qualify for an "average" suburb in a big western city. As a comparison, a good suburb in London, IE Chelsea has an average 3br apartment price of USD$2,000,000.

*Renting in Rio*

There are tons of short term rental agencies in Rio, hence finding something for 1 week to 3 months is not a problem. If you want to rent a place for longer and perhaps furnish it yourself you can find some real bargains, a fraction of what you would pay for a short term rentals. However with this comes a few problems.

A standard lease runs for 2 1/2 years. To obtain such a lease you will usually need a Fiador to guarantee or co sign the lease. What does this mean? Well if you do not make you rental payments the Fiador is responsible for your debts. In order to be a fiador, one must own a property in Rio and this property is essentially leant on until your lease is up. Hence finding a Fiador is virtually impossible, well for a gringo anway. If you think this is ridiculous, and it is, the problem was essentially created by inept legislation. Once a lease is signed it is virtually impossible to evict the tenant, even if rent is not paid. Hence, when you add in costly legal bills, unpaid utility and condo bills, you can see how the landlord is exposed to a bad tenant. Many a landlord has been forced to sell a property after a 2 year battle with a renegade tenant.

For a gringo it is difficult to hence rent a property on a long term basis. There is no easy way around it. I have heard of a few gringos obtaining a lease through a broker going into bat for them, usually they require some sort of deposit, up to 6 months. Finding a good broker is also difficult. Real estate brokers around the world are not exactly a trustworthy bunch, in Rio they are absolutely disgraceful. Having said this I have found a good one, but I do not want to put her name here. She is busy enough.

A good place to start the search for properties is here. http://classificados.oglobo.com.br/ The Sunday edition of the same paper has the listings.


*A posting by Carlos Primeros on ISG. Carlos says in regards to buying a property.

Brasilian titles: I can only recommend that you have a lawyer do the title research. One of my relatives bought five years ago in Blumenau a piece of land. The title research was done and it showed that the sale from a church-organization to an individual 28 years ago was not properly done and that the Catholic Church was still the legal owner of the land - everybody assumed at those days that the transfer was done and closed. The whole thing was settled amicably but why should this happen to you? There are a lot of Brazilians which would like to make a gringo pay for nothing or at least for an invalid title. The Brazilian Government guarantees only one thing: That all their records are hopelessly incorrect and a big mess. In Brazil there is a time-limit in which titles can be contested. It is 30 years. A professional lawyer will do a search to this time-frame. I assume that the US Consulate in Rio or where ever you want to buy the property will provide you with the address of a semi-decent and skilful lawyer.

Payment: do not - under any circumstances - conclude a contract with a "split price", meaning one figure in the contract and the other amount cash. Remember - you have to bring this money into Brazil legally. By just taken R40.000 cash to Brazil is illegal and you might be set up paying this money. Make a transfer to an escrow account with Banco do Brazil and pay from this account to the guy. Normally when you open an account in Brazil, you must give your tax-number (CPF), As a foreigner you do not have one - alas - you can open only an account with Banco do Brazil. Alternatively first get a residence permit (permanente) in Brazil and than effectuate the purchase of the apartment. I would do this anyhow first.

One final thought: why are you not renting an apartment? Put your money in some investment - fund, cash the profits out and pay with the profits the rent. If you do not like the place anymore, just terminate the rental contract!

I am also living from time to time for longer periods in Rio but I would never ever buy an apartment there. You never know how the situation in a part of Rio develops and suddenly your place turns into a Favela (slum). Then you can kiss the value of your apartment good-bye. Carlos Primeros

*CPF Cards*
If you are intending to stay in Brasil for a long term stay you should consider getting a CPF card. You get them by applying at the local post office. They cost less than R10, of course a friendly GDP can help with the paper work. You need a local address which they send the card to after a few weeks.

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated January, 2006. Part 10/12 - Mini Guide Spain.

Having spent a lot of time in Brasil of late, I obviously have an interest in Brasilian Bunda (ass). With each trip back to Rio I would discover my favourites from last trip were currently overseas, invariably in Spain. This got me thinking about the possibility of spending more time in Spain, which for me is a lot closer to home. Prior to my first trip to Spain in over 15 years, I did a ton of research on the net and spoke to a lot of Brasilian girls, mostly in Rio Termas (is that tax deductable?). The same club names kept coming up over and over. Hence I attempted to visit them all, not that easy as I was usually with a Brasilian girl that I had met in Rio, cloak and dagger stuff but heaps of fun. In most of clubs listed below, you will find a mixture of South American and Eastern Euro girls, brazilian girls would maybe make up 25% of the numbers.

Spain in general impressed me a great deal. When I first visited it 15+ years ago, it was a bit dirty, generally quite poor compared to the rest of Europe and I basically had no reason to go back. Now it is a very vibrant country, about 30% less expensive than France, people are great, the weather is great, the cities are much cleaner and in some parts the architecture is just spectacular. It is now a much wealthier place. Do yourself a favour, get on down there.

Please note: this is a mini guide to Spain. Spain has an enormous sex industry with literally thousands of clubs. Having said this, these clubs would be a good starting point for any monger new to Spain.

Addresses: In Spain they don't always use numbers, particularly when you get out of the city. So for highway clubs they generally give a Kilometer marker and the highway. IE For Flowers Park, Madrid, A6 26 Km's. The A6 refers to the Highway "A6" and it is 26Km's from the center of the town. Sounds absurd for Westerners but it is surprisingly easy to find your way around. The main highway clubs are right on the highway, IE sometimes you have to hit the breaks hard from 100+ kph and dive into the car park.

***Madrid***

There are a ton of clubs in Madrid. Flowers park is always considered the most popular.

**Flowers Park**

Address: A6 26Km's, Madrid. (large neon sign visible from Road)
Cost: Must Negotiate: Standard is €60 -€70 per 30 mins + €5 for sheets.
Hours: Opens 6pm, goes late, think 5am ish.
Drink Prices: Scotch €12, Beer €9, Girls drinks can be €30
Entrance: Officially €10 which includes a drink, but you can generally just wander in without paying. Hell you are going to get a drink anyway, which will cost €10 ish. Hence they don't really bother about the entrance.
Train station: Las Matas station
Number of Girls: 75+

Went there a couple of times. Like a lot of highway clubs in Spain it is essentially an apartment/hotel complex where the girls rent rooms off the house, like a normal hotel. The action is in the bar downstairs. You mull around and have a chat. What you negotiate between yourself and the girl is up to you. The club doesn't take a cut of the girls fees, they make money off the drinks and room rental. Extras like CIM & Anal are common and the girl either does it or not, generally it is not added to the price, it is thrown in more as a deal clincher. The main difference between Spain and Brasil is the time to "get to know" the girls. In Brasil you can take all the time in the world, in Spain it is more 5 - 20 minutes of chat and then you either go or stay.

**Club Lovely**

Address: A1 31Km's, Madrid.
Cost: Must Negotiate: Standard is €60 - €70 per 30 mins + €5 for sheets.
Hours: 6pm until late, 5am.
Drink prices: Scotch €12, Beer €9, Girls drinks can be €30
Entrance: Officially €10, however just wander in.
Number of Girls: 60+

***Barcelona***

Again this is a large city and there is heaps of action around. You must go to the most popular club, that is Club Riviera.

** Club Riviera**
Address: Autovía de Castelldefels (C-31) Km 17,8.
Cost: Must Negotiate: Standard is €60 -€70 per 30 mins + €5 for sheets.
Hours: 6pm until late.
Drink prices: Scotch €12, Beer €9, Girls drinks can be €30+
Entrance: Officially €10, however just wander in.
Number of Girls: 75+, maybe 100 at peak times.

** Bailén 22**
Address: Calle Bailén 22, Barcelona
Cost: €300 per hour, €180 per 30mins. (yes it is expensive).
Hours:
Drink prices: Start at €15, girls drinks €40+
Entrance:
Number of Girls: 50

***Malaga***

**MiLady Palace**
Address: Ctra.N-340, Km.177, Marbella
Cost: €300 per hour, €180 per 30mins. (yes it is expensive).
Hours: Until very late 5am.
Drink prices: Start at €15, girls drinks €30+
Entrance:
Number of Girls: 50
Situated in an old Mansion like club. There are signs to it from Marbella.

**Estark 92**.
Address: N340 Coastal Rd in Carvajal, betweem the towns of benalmadena & Fuengirola.
Cost: Must Negotiate: Standard is €60 -€70 per 30 mins + €5 for sheets.
Hours: 6pm until late.
Drink prices:
Entrance:
Number of Girls: 60

*A post of mine on ISG- 1 side *

I just spent a few weeks in Spain where I met up with 2 amigas from Rio. Both I have known for just under 2 years and were just starting their careers in Termas.

One amiga, a strong 9 by any measure, just spent 4 days with me in Madrid. It was perfect timing as she was just ending a 3 month working trip there and heading home. She basically said the first time she was in Madrid she worked for Club Lovely (30 minutes costs 70 Euro or USD$90, standard for most highway clubs in Spain) where she earned about 3 times more per day than she did in a Terma in Rio. She then went back and did a 3 month stint at a terma in Rio. Upon returning to Spain she worked at a better, more high end club, and has now has done 3x3 month stints there. She earns about 6 to 9 times more there than she would at a Rio Terma and she sees less guys and only works 4 days per week. Now she does not work when she returns home, not much point when you do the sums and consider she brings about USD$30,000 home each 3 month stint. It now costs 300 euro to fuck her at the club for the hour.

It was actually great fun to hang with her and see how she has progressed over the last 2 years. When I first met her she was smoking hot and a great fuck. The one draw back was, she is obviously from a poor background and did not have much of an education. I once showed her a picture of me standing next to the Eiffel tower, she hadn't a clue where the picture was taken. Now she has developed into a more worldly young lady. She speaks Spanish, some English and a little French now and has travelled a bit in Europe. She has just purchased a house in Brasil and has a small investment unit. I believe she intends to take up studying again in the next 6 months. In short she impresses me a lot now.

I mention the above as a point that these girls now have a lot of options now and Rio will not be the same paradise it is now forever. How much did it cost to hang with her 4 for days? All she asked for was a small gift for her and her mother of which she specified, turned out to be about USD$120 in total. Hence, a further point, yes some girls in Rio do try and grab the $ others do actually enjoy the company of some gringos they meet. Of course the next trip I make to Rio she will be there and will be wanting me to be with her and not visit a terma. She has also invited me to stay at her new house. This is not an option in Rio, yes she is lovely, but there are just to many options for a single guy in Rio to be tired down to just one lovely.

One further point, there are tons of Brasilian girls all over Spain working. The GDP network is very strong. You see them everywhere on the beaches, usually lying on or wearing a brasilian flag. Her phone would ring off the hook. Everywhere I went with "minha amiga" there was something to do with a group of people, most GDP's or ex GDP's. It was kind of fun going to dinner with another couple one night, the Italian guy (who now lives in Spain) did not know his wife was an ex GDP girl. Hence, I was briefed beforehand not to mention certain things. It was funny as the conversation would be held in 3 different languages, at first when I would speak in English to the guy, his wife would always watch me (she didn't speak English, my Spanish pronunciation is not good enough to hold an in depth conversation). I would reassure her in Portuguese what we were talking about. Her husband didn't speak Porto (the girls would always speak in Porto together, rapid fire). After a while she relaxed and it was actually a very very funny and excellent night.

If you are intending to grab a bit of Brasilian ass in Spain don't expect it to be as good as you get in Rio - service wise. Everything is more rushed in Spain, less getting to know you time with the girl and more $ orientated. However, compared to most countries still a damn good option.

For new readers to this forum GDP = Garotta De Program (girl of program= sex worker girl)

*A Further post of mine on ISG- the other side*

I have only been going to Rio for 2 1/2 years, hence I am just starting to see the once really cute girls I liked on my first trip turn "less than cute" now. In fact it seems 90% of the really hot girls on my first trip, that are still around, are very average now.

For example. Sol at Centaurus. On my first trip she was one of the hottest girls there (but crap in bed). She was very arrogant, had the audacity to *tell me* to wait for her to fuck a guy and return to the boite after I merely glanced in her direction. Anyway she is still there now, she doesn't look nearly as hot and has a very burnt out attitude. She doesn't get taken to a cabine much anymore. Her career is coming to an end. Tough business..........2 years is along time as a working GDP.

[Bubba Boy]

The Bubba report, updated January, 2006. Part 9/12 - Language

Due to the Portuguese settling Brazil, the language in Brazil is Portuguese, not Spanish as most people not unreasonably assume.

The following is a few terms you may find useful. I have added a few you won't find in a guide book, for obvious reasons. It is not meant to be a comprehensive guide, just a start. Before going it is definitely worth getting a language course, not only will it be helpful, but it is incredibly rewarding to learn a new language. If you eventually become fluent in Porto you will be able to understand Spanish (to a degree) and to a lessor degree Italian (well you will be on your way), they are derived from the same language, hence it is worth it.

Every person I have ever spoken to that has studied Portuguese via CD's agrees the Pimsleur Portuguese series I,II & III are the best to get you started. If you finish all you will not be fluent but you will be on your way to understanding basic stuff. The one criticism about Pimsleur was that they were very expensive, about USD$200 each series. Of course many people downloaded these for free from the various elicit sources, which is probably why you can now buy the complete legitimate series in MP3 format for USD$150 (search on Ebay or google). You will also be well served by buying a Pocket sized Portuguese dictionary to take with you.

http://babelfish.altavista.com/ is also a rough translation guide. (it ain't perfect by any means)

NB: Portuguese is pronounced quite different to English.
NB2: I am purposely keeping this section very short. It contains the very basics.

**Most important words GDP**

Safado/a, You will here this a lot when talking to the girls. A safado, when applied in this text, is literally a guy (or girl= Safada) that screws around a lot. You will be called such if you bang another girl in front of a terma girl you have already done. You may also here it screamed when you are banging a girl, IE she is liking it, it is a good term. Like many things in Brazil, some things have 2 meanings.

Gostoso/a, Another term you will here when banging away (if you are doing it right). Basically means she likes it/you. Of course many girls will use "Gostoso" a little bit to much to be believable, don't take GDP's to serious.

o/a = masculine/feminine. Ie when referring to a man you would say Safado, when referring to a female Safada.

chato, = boring, you will hear this a lot when a girl is not pleased.
mentiroso/a = a liar, you will hear this a lot when you deny banging a GDP's friend.
divertido/a = fun, as in to have, a good thing to hear.

**The Most important words**

quanto custa= how much cost (does it cost)
quanto é= how much is it

If you speak zero Portuguese at least learn to ask how much everything is and then learn the numbers. There are many people in Rio, particularly in the bars that will rip you off if you don't ask. I ask how much everything costs in every bar, this includes how much each drink is before ordering. If you don't ask a R10 may cost you R50.

**Questions for a girl**
Você faz Tudo? = Do you do everything?
Voce chupa sem camisinha? = Do you suck without a condom?
Você faz Tudo? = Do you do everything?
Você faz sexo anal? = Do you do anal sex
Você gosta de sexo anal? = Do you like Anal Sex
Eu posso gozar na sua boca= Can I cum in your mouth?
Culo = anal sex (I believe this is Spanish but used widely in Brasil)
beijos negros = to lick ass (in a sexual way)

**Most important words general (think Pimsleur Volumn 1)**

Obrigado/a = Thankyou (Man always says Obrigado, a women always says Obrigada)
De Nada = Your welcome (in Rio "De" is pronounced "Ge" IE "Ge Nada")
Por Favor= please
Qual é o seu nome? = What is your name. (this is the first thing every girl will ask)
Como se chama = What is your name (literally: how to be called)
Meu Nome = My name is.......(this is your reply)
De= from or of
Onde = where
De Onde (você) = of where (literally: where are you from?)
sim = yes
não = no
um/uma = 1 or "a" ("um" refers to a masculine object, "uma" femine)
um pouco = a little
Eu= I
Eu Vou = I go ,
Você vai = You go.
Nos vamos =Lets go (note the different forms the verb "go" takes)
Eu fui = I went (or I was)
Você Foi= You went
beber = drink
você = you (informal)
Garoto/a = boy/girl
Tem= Have, Important when asking if some has something, IE "Tem água"
Você tem troco = Do you have change? ("tem troco" is OK to say)
Falar = (to) Speak
Você fala Portuguese = Do you speak Portuguese?
Bonito/a = beautiful
Lindo/a = beautiful
Louco/a =crazy
e = and
é = it is
Agora = now
água = water
com = with
sem = without
água com gas = water with bubbles
água sem gas = water with bubbles
meia =6 , literally means "half" as in half a dozen. phone numbers are spoken this way
Como = how
querer= want, Eu quero (I want), Você quer (you want)
precisar = need
gostar = (to) like
gostaria = (I) would like
Quantos anos você tem = How old are you? (literally: How many years do you have)
Eu não entendo = I don't understand
Devagar = slow (you will here this before Anal, means go slow!)
Bunda = ass
Achar = (to) think
Nos vamos para o meu hotel agora = lets go to my hotel now
Eu não sei = I dont know
Não sabe=
Por Quanto tempo = For how long?
um pouco mais = a little bit more
Voce quer uma bebida = Do you want a drink?
Onde voce mora = where do you live?
Quero duplas = I want two girls
Cachorro = dog
Desculpa = Sorry or excuse me
Ontem = Yesterday
Amanhã = Tomorrow
Talvez = maybe
Perto daqui = close to here
fica longe daqui = far from here
Quanto custa para entrar = How much to enter
mesa para dois = a table for two
Você tem tempo agora = Do you have time now?
Você quer ir comigo = Do you want to go with me
difícil = difficult
fácil = easy
bonito/a = beautiful (a man is a "bonito", women is a "bonita")
lindo/linda = beautiful (as well)

**List of juices**

Suco de = Juice of

Suco de laranja = Orange Juice
Suco de Maca = Apple juice
Suco de Abacaxi = Pineapple juice
Suco de Melancia = Watermelon

**Numbers**

For a list a complete list of numbers grab guide book. Remember when negotiating with a girl numbers are written the same, hence grab a pen if necessary or use sign language.

0 zero
1 um (M), uma (F)
2 dois (M), duas (F)
3 três
4 quatro
5 cinco
100 cem
150 cento e cinquenta
200 duzentos
300 trezentos
300+ don't even think about paying any girl more than this!

For a complete list, see you pocket dictionary.

**Verbs**

The above list is for someone that has no knowledge of Portuguese. The following lists are for someone that knows Portuguese well and wants to know certain words better that will generally not be taught by your humble Portuguese teacher.

**Sperto lists of….well….best to just read them. Posted on ISG**

Sperto says: -
Insulting is something that should absolutely be avoided in Brazil, but sometimes it can be necessary. Also it's good to know what people say if they insult you.
Please, be very careful using these phrases. Some of them are VERY strong.

A simple and useful phrase for shoe shiners and beggars that don't accept "Não obrigado" is "Sai daqui desgraçado!" They will definitely go away.

Vai toma no cú seu viado ~ Fuck you, faggot.
Vai se danar ~ Fuck you.
No teu cú ~ Up your ass.
Vai para o inferno ~ Go to hell.
Vai pra puta que te pariu ~ Go back to the ***** who gave you birth.
Se liga na porra da tua vida caralho ~ Mind your own fucking business.
Vai dar o cú ~ Go give your ass.
Enfia no cú e roda ~ Put it in your ass and keep rolling.
Enfie o dedo no cú e rasgue ~ Put your finger into your asshole and rip it off.
Gostou? Não? Então enfia o dedo no cú e gira ~ Didn't you like it? Then stick your finger up your ass and spin it.
Comi tua mae ~ I fucked your mother.
Sua mãe bate bife com as tetas ~ Your mom hit the meat with her tits.
Vá se fuder, peça da puta merda! ~ Go fuck yourself, you goddamn piece of shit!
Masca merda ~ You eat shit.
O cú da sua mãe é tão grande que um trem do metrô poderia passar nele sem problemas ~ Your mom's ass is so big that a subway train could pass through it with no problems.
Você é burro de dar dó ~ You're so stupid, people pity you.
Do jeito que você é feio, seria melhor barbear a bunda e andar de costas ~ You're so ugly you should shave your ass and walk backwards.
Sua mãe tá na zona ~ Your mom is in the *****house district.
Vou te estuprar com um abacaxi, sua bicha safada ~ I'll fuck your ass with a pineapple, you filthy faggot.
Vou cagar na sua cara ~ I'll shit in your face.
Aquela mina é um puta bagulho ~ That girl is a fucking ugly.
Vô fuder tua bunda e fazer você beber meu gozo tua puta ~ I'll fuck you in the ass, and make you taste my cum, you *****.
Vai peidar na água pra ver se sai bolhinhas ~ Go to fart in water and make bubbles.
Sua família é um bando de desgraçado filho da puta ~ Your family is motherfucker cursed.

*Spertos favourite words for ass*

bumbum, bunda, cu, nádegas, popozão, rabo

*And some for breasts*

laranjas, melancias (big ones), peitos, seios, tetas, travesseiros, tufas.

*And to have sex*

afogar o ganso, comer, fazer amor, foder, rala-rala, transar, trepar.

*And some words for pussy*

aranha, boca-cabeluda, boca-de-sapo, boca-sem-dente, buceta, bucetinha, buraco-cabeludo, coisinha, gruta-do-amor, peludinha, perereca, periquita, rosquinha,
túnel-do-amor, vagina, xereca, xoxota.

I received a number of PMs suggesting more words and correcting some existing words. There were to numerous to list but I thank you all.