Bubba Boy's Rio Guide

[Bubba Boy]

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the bubba report, updated february, 2007. part 5 -other options.

***boites***

these are basically night clubs that open at around 10pm or 11pm, get going around midnight and go very late. you will pay an entrance fee and a bar fine to take a girl out of the place. the most well known is barbarelas in the lido district of copacabana, close to leme, it almost always has the most attractive girls. you also have franks, pussycat, and heaps of others, all located in lido, which is basically at the end of copacabana close to av princess isabell. if you wander around you will see all of them close to each other, don't let a tout come up to you, he will be after a commission off the club, this commission will more likely be added to your bill, just ignore him. if we are in a group and see a tout coming towards us, we have a predetermined plan, we all split in different directions, the tout usually just stands still not knowing which person to follow. yes i know, we are children. entrance is usually r15-r60, which may include a drink or 2. drinks are much more expensive than the termas (upto or more than r50+ a shot!) and you need to be much more aware of your surroundings than at a terma in that they will pad your bill if you are not careful and generally try to "fuck the gringo on prices" if you are not careful. best to just drink water at these places and never buy a girl a drink unless you are very clear how much it will cost you, because it will cost you plenty. to take a girl out will usually cost you a bar fine of up to r60 and the girl will usually get r200 out of you for a session which could last a few hours or the whole night, if you can negotiate well you can obviously reduce this. she will almost always start her bidding at r300+. the one exception is barbarella's (or is it barbarela's, the 2 signs at the entrance are spelled differently!), where everything costs just a bit more, although they do have some great looking girls, albeit at a price, think up to r400 for the super hotties (starting bid will be r500+). franks is famous for its "live sex show", usually at 1am most nights (1am in brasil usually means 2am or later). performance is more varied with a boite girl than a terma girl.

i cannot emphasise enough that the waiters will do everything at these places to fuck you over on the bill. yes a good time can be had, but unless you are with someone that has his wits about him, you will most likely have an issue.

another warning, and this applies to everywhere in rio. if you jump into a cab waiting outside of the club, including normal clubs, they will generally not turn on the meter. a normal r5 cab ride will turn into r20 if you do this without first negotiating the fare. the girl you take will almost always direct you to these waiting sharks, i always just walk up 20 meters and hail a cab and make sure they put the meter on *before i get in*. any complaints by the girl are quickly squashed and they fall into line, this is important in that they know you have been around a bit. the taxis are particularly bad outside of barbarella's, another galling tactic by this club is the doorman will stick his hand out forcefully on your way out and ask for a tip, sometimes the girl will even ask for a tip on his behalf, i will usually slip by him and be gone up the street before he realises. never ever pay for any girl upfront out of any club. if she insists on payment, you may wish to show her you have the money but never give it to her, if she still complains i will guarantee you she will cause you problems and point to the door right it off. no brasilian guy will ever pay for a girl upfront, nor will any experienced monger.

*barbarella*
rua ministro viveiros de castro, 24. copa/leme

entrance is now r60 which includes 2 drinks, beer isn't served here. i can never work out whether there is a bar fine to take a girl from the place or not. many mongers have told me it is r70 bar fine, others have said it is nothing. watch for the touts that line both avenida prado junior and avenida princess isabel, they basically chase you to get you into barbs. just ditch them, you don't need any help off these guys. if you stay in rio for more than a week or 2 you should perhaps visit barbs once, but perhaps only for the purpose of visiting another club. there are better options than paying r500 for a barbs girl. watch your bar tab very carefully, they will try and fuck you at every opportunity.

address of other boites in the area:

don juan, rua duvivier, 37. copa/leme
doma, av. prado júnior, 63 copa/leme
franks, av. princesa isabel, 185b. copa/leme. entrance r15 (includes one drink). doesn't really get going until past midnight.
holiday, av. atlântica, 1424, copacabana
la cicciolina, av. princesa isabel, 185d, copacabana entrance r25 (includes 2 local drinks, oct, 2006).
café senso, av. princesa isabel, 7, copacabana r50 (includes 2 drinks, oct 2006)
pussycat, av. copacabana, 129, copacabana

we always ask if one person can go in and look around before taking the whole party in, sometimes these clubs are dead, no point paying for the entrance if you don’t intend to stay. they are always ok with this. if they are not just don’t bother to enter.

there are also a few in other parts of rio. however you can get by with no portuguese at the above places, in the parts of the city you may need some porto skills.

the kman: was dragged along to a club above the balcony bar by his girlfriend and another brasilian couple (club holiday, i think it is but don't quote me), where they have a live sex show. they unfortunately turned up late, after the show had finished. after expressing a desire to see a show, the manager said he would organise one for r100. the party agreed and selected a girl from the club. the manager then grabbed a waiter and directed proceedings. the waiter was apparently thinking all his xmas's had come at once, unfortunately he had performance problems and was chastised, then summarily dismissed by the director of proceedings. while the manager was searching the club for a suitable replacement, the kman's girl suggested he "step up to the plate", under normal circumstances i think he would have, but he was worried he to would fail to get wood in front of the other girl in the party, whom he secretly wants to nail (in rio anything is possible). after 10 minutes, a substitute waiter did indeed step up to the plate and apparently performed quite well, much to the delight of all people present.

***beach restaurants***

there are a number of restaurants that front copacabana on avinida atlantica that offer the opportunity of more than just a drink. these paces are very popular of late with our american brothers, who tend to form the majority of patrons, it would be a good place for solo travellers to hook up with like minded travellers.

food is more expensive than your average restaurant but not overly expensive by western standards. beer is relatively cheap. there is no bar fine to take a girl from here, all the girls are independent and wander in and out of the places all day. a girl should cost r80 - r150 (absolute max for a must do) for a couple of hours - aim at r100. again start low, open your bid at r70. the girls are not terma quality, in fact you will have to look a bit to find something worth doing. a lot of guys go there just to hang and chat with fellow minded sleaze mongers. of late the girls have basically been scraping the bottom of the barrel, but of course just when you say "i am never going back to that place" a cutie pops up to keep you going.

all are on av atlantica (number #), copacabana.
havana café, (#3310), mabs (#1140) , meia pataca (#3312), terraco atlantico (#3432)

***balcony bar***

a normal bar with action. the girls of late have been ordinary, however not a bad place to have a beer.

located on av atlantica, next to plaça lido (lido square), about half way between help and leme.

***beach***

you can always find a willing lady from the beach. just smile in her direction if she is alone or with another lady, she may well be a worker, of course she may not be as well. if she responds in a friendly manner you may well be on your way. alot of the gdp's (working girls) that work in copa also live there in tiny shared apartments and hence use the beach during the day. your average non working girl will probably not go to copacabana to lay on the beach, less they be associated with the sex scene. i was with a friend of mine when he grabbed a stunner off ipanema one day (not overly common), we kept saying to each other she is to hot to be a worker, once she smiled back at him we both knew she most certainly was.

in front of the the ceasar park hotel in ipanema is a good place to start. a lot of terma girls, associated semi pros and hardcore girls do hang out there from time to time.

***hooker beach***

there is a highly organised area of copa often known as "hooker beach". alot of the girls you see in help at night or at some of the avinida atlantica restaurants will hang here during the day. they will usually go for r80 - r120 for a couple of hours, negotiate - start low. it is directly opposite meia pataca or the othon hotel on copacabana beach, not far from help. look for the small beach kiosk and the associated flotsam and jetsam hanging around.

again be careful here with the touts, they are there to rip you off, not to assist. they will try to organise everything for you and are quite persistent. if i choose to relax her for a few minutes, i will negotiate a chair for r6 (they are normally r3 in all other parts of the beach) and get my own drinks or if i want to speak to a girl i will go over and introduce myself. if you let the touts bring you drinks, introduce you to girls etc and you don't negotiate the price of their service upfront they will hit you for as much as they can get out of you, avoid them for everything but the chair rental. if you must use them, pay as you go or they will hit you for a bill of r80 for maybe 3 drinks......... you can get drinks yourself at the kiosk in the part of the beach. from memory beers start at r2, cans of coke r2, coconuts cut with a straw r2.50, caipivodkas start at r6. be careful drinking beers on the beach, they go straight to your head and you will get drunk twice as quickly.

***massagems***

these little places (usually 4 rooms or less) charge around r50 for 30 minutes, some charge r1 per minute. i find it takes a bit of work to find something decent here and the termas are generally a much more fun atmosphere. these places are set up for the locals and hence are much cheaper and generally less hygienic. they are open from midday or so to 8pm or 10pm at night. it is not uncommon to see the same girls here go to help at night or a beach front restaurant. best to bring you own condoms and lube, cheap and nasty describes these places. if i do a girl here i choose to do her "standing up" rather than use the bed, which may or may not be clean. the rooms are more like cubicles and hence may not have a door on them, hence other punters may well see your naked ass bouncing off the walls as they go by.

in copacabana
praca serzedelo correia 15, room 1104, r$30 for 30 minutes.
hilário de gouveia 66, apt 1103 (level11). r$ 30 for 20 minutes.
av north copacabana 583, apt. 204. r$40 for 20 minutes. no need to take the elevator just walk up the stairs next to them. try 202 when there, it is copa terma r$70 30mins.
rua siqueira campos, 22, enter from hilário de gouveia, you will see the blue entrance with a 2 on each side of the door. r$80 for 40 minutes. a bit more expensive than the rest but still not as expensive as monte etc and of course not as clean either.

in centro
see the "terma section" for 3 places in centro.

there are hundreds of other small dodgy places in centro, they are listed in the local papers if you are so inclined.

***escorts***

will run from r100 -r150 for 2 hours + taxi fare (r20-r40ish). there are heaps of them in rio. alot of girls will do anal here, ask for "completa" (cooom-ple-tah), meaning she will do everything. ordering girls can be a bit of a problem if you can't speak portuguese and do not know how to order thoroughly. basically my experience has been, good/great performers at a cheap price but the looks have left a lot to be desired. the photos on the site are quite flattering, heavily photo shopped and taken just at the right angle. don't expect a stunner but none the less it is worth a "roll of the dice". like most things in life you get what you pay for. if you are a drinking man this could be a good option for you.

you could always do what the k man does, and that is order 2 girls. that way at least one should be doable, the other one is designated the "ball licker", the kman is not and a man to let a naked gdp go to waist.

http://www.scortshow.com.br/
http://www.karlamodels.com.br/ or http://www.karlamodels.net
http://www.lindasmodels.com/ (the kman had good luck with this agency first up, second up the 2 girls were definitely not the same on the site, in fact they were so large he commented that maybe they ate the other 2 girls on the site)
http://www.barravips.com.br/

avoid:
www.viprj.com.br crappy operation with only a few girls despite having numerous photos on their site. notorious bait and switch

***classificados in o globo***

the following is written by lorenzo, lorenzo says:

"you didn't mention the classificados which appear every day in o globo and jornal do brasil. to take advantage of these you will need to read and speak portuguese. the classificados are, in a way, the exact opposite of escort services in that you can talk to the girl but don't know what she looks like. however, to me talking is more important in that i get a chance to see if there is any chemistry, if she has an attitude, and to negotiate services. but i think you can be reasonably certain that she will be attractive; if not, you can send her on her way (although ethically you should pay her cab fare)." lorenzo

***miami peep***

this place is good for a bit of a laugh. you go in the shop entrance off avinida n s copacabana and up to the second floor. you exchange you reals for tokens. you use the tokens for various activities at varying costs. i believe in the private rooms you can also touch them, however i have never taken up this option. i believe if you befriend them you could always make other plans, anything is possible in rio! all very safe in the shop. on the same corner of the street that goes to terma monte carlo.

corner of rua hilario de gouveia (same street as terma monte carlo) and avinida n s copacabana.

the following was posted by jaimito cartero (10 sept 2005), rather than edit it i thought it accurately described miami.

jaimito cartero posted on isg, jaimito cartero says:-

"miami show club. it's your basic sex shop, with porno booths downstairs. r1 works for 3 minutes. nothing too exciting there, but they did have one video that peta would have objected to. each token is r1, and the guy said you could refund them if you didn't use them.

upstairs you have about a dozen booths and one or two dancers on a rotating bed. r1 per minute. i saw three chicas, and two were pretty bad, and one was very nice. nothing too out of the ordinary here.

they have solo rooms, that you get a private show in. r5 for 2 minutes, again using the tokens. when i went, they had 10 girls there to choose from. i sat and watched the mop brigade go into action each time a guy came out. even used some air freshener too.

each of the chicas has a picture with a number. you go into the booth and put your tokens in, and then push the buttons selecting the chica. your time doesn't start until she comes into the room. there is a plexiglass window between you, with some holes for talking to her. there is also a 4 inch space at the very top, that you can just get your hand into.

the chica i got must have been working there for years, because the pic was ooooooold. she was nice enough, and proceeded to give my finger a bbbj, and then put her ass up to the top so i could finger whatever hole i wanted.

the sperm mopping guy told me that you could have a dupla in there if you put in r50.

interesting if you're bored, you can even go around the corner to the church and light a candle when you're done." jaimito cartero

***villa mimosa***

vm is worth visiting just for the experience, if you choose to do a girl there, then you are a braver man than me my friend. it is basically a collection of "bars" within a small area. security does patrol the area and hence it is relatively safe providing you do not do something really stupid. security is operated by private forces and hence is very efficient. it is not the place to be loud and brash.

girls charge anywhere from r20 and up, depending on what you want. rooms are r5 for the nasty ones, and r7 for the less nasty ones. i believe the r7 gets you clean sheets! i once went there with 2 american book ends, we had a bet who would be brave enough to fuck in those rooms. no one took the cash, i remember some one saying they would go into the rooms if a hazmat uniform could be provided. i believe if you wanted to do a girl you could take her out of the place to short term motel, this may be a preferable option. go their with low expectations.

directions to vm:
vm is located a couple of suburbs from centro, about a mile from the maracana satdium which you can see from the metro station of são cristovão. probably 12km from copa and about r25 in a cab.

you can catch the metro to são cristovão and then cab it, r9, the area is a little sketchy hence best not to walk there if it is late, during the day it is safe enough, equal to copacabana. if coming from copacabana station it involves a change from linha 1 (line 1) to linha 2 at estacio station. the change over is easy, you just follow the signs to linha 2 at estacio station, são cristovão is the next station after the change. the ticket you buy from copacabana, r2.30, will get you all the way there. on the way back just do the opposite, but remember siquira campos station is the proper name for copacabana station, hence head for those signs at the changeover at estacio, do not jump on the train to pavuna, that would be bad!

the 455 meier bus from copa runs past vm, of course you will need to know where to get off, not easy and not suggested for first time visitor. you can get the 455 from any stop along av. nossa senhora de copacabana in copacabana.

a post from doc bill on vm ( 17.11.05 )

"villa mimosa: best for last? well, maybe not, but certainly the most interesting. since there were three of us going i felt not-too-nervous about it, and i felt it was something i had to do to earn my stripes in brazil. we went at about 11 on a friday night. it has been said that “if cleanliness is next to godliness then villa mimosa borders on hell,” and i actually found that to be a gross understatement. if you’re a germaphobe or have any inclinaton to take a crap before you leave then don’t go! this was the most disgusting filthy place i have ever seen in my life – people pissing, shitting and puking everywhere, shit all over the streets. it’s also wonderful and i would definitely return. the place is like a bar scene in a star wars movie, a true show to watch. about half the girls were wolf-ugly, and about 20 percent fairly good, with a couple of stunners. price was 20 reals for 20 minutes. all covered, quick and businesslike, but what do you want for eight bucks?! as for safety that was a non-issue. heavy police presence and brightly lit, and no one bothered anyone else that didn’t want to be bothered. a true sex bazaar/bizarre!" doc bill

***cheap casas by sperto: 28.03.06***

update on cheap casas.

copacabana:
- av n s copacabana 583, apto 202
open 10-22, r$ 80/20 min, r$ 100/30 min, r$ 130/60 min
- av n s copacabana 583, apto 204
open 10-22, r$ 80/30 min, r$ 130/60 min
- azuzinho 22, rua sigueira campos 22
open 14-24, r$ 100/30 min, r$ 150/60 min
- rua hilário de gouveia 66, apto 1103
open 10-21, r$ 51/20 min, r$ 71/30 min, r$ 121/60 min
* between 5-12 girls working at each of these places. the standard of the girls are low, but sometimes there are nice exceptions to be found. a better options is taking the metro to the center. lower prices and more to choose from.

centro:
- rua da carioca 59, apto 201, 301, 302, 401, 402, 501 and c01
r$ 10/10 min and r$ 1/extra min.
take the elevator up and the stairs down and check out the girls.
lots of girls. low standard but always some cuties around.
- rua uruguaiana 24
open 10-20, r$ 18/15 min, r$ 26/20 min, r$ 36/30 min, r$ 46/40 min
several floors. lots of girls. low standard without exceptions.
- rua buenos aires 85
open 10-20, r$ 10/10 min, r$ 15/20 min, r$ 30/40 min
enjoy the narrow stairs while checking out 3-4 floors with girls.
lots of girls. low standard but you might find a nice one that's not occupied.
- rua buenos aires 113
open 9-21, r$ 10/10 min and r$ 1/extra min.
one floor with girls. cabins upstairs. low standard with very few exceptions.
- rua do ouvidor 130, apto 707
open 10-18.30, r$ 13/10 min, r$ 20/15 min, r$ 30/20 min, r$ 50/30 min
a bunch of girls. low standard.
- travessa do ouvidor 37
r$ 30/15 min, r$ 50/30 min
lots of girls. low standard with occasional beauties.
- the best option among the cheap casas in centro are the ones that have adds in the classificados with only phonenumbers (no addresses). there are several of these casas in the buildings on av rio branco 156 and 181. very discrete, no signs and with bosses that checks if you look like a ok customer before letting you in. large and clean rooms with shower possibilities. many of these casas have very high standard on the girls. r$ 60/30 min, r$ 80/60 min or r$ 105/2 girls in one hour. as it might be hard to choose among the girls the 2 girls-promoção is a good deal.

vila mimosa:
it's impossible to mention cheap casas without mentioning vila mimosa.
r$ 25/20-30 min (the time depends on the casa). r$ 1-2/condom.
r$ 40-50/1-2 h at hotel canario. r$ 20/room.
shitloads of girls. average standard is low, but there are several beauties to be found. you can tell that the business for the help girls are bad by judging from the growing numbers of ex-help girls working at vm.

***regular clubs*** (with thanks to keldeson isg for posting this list of addresses)

~~ baronetti, rua barao da torre 354,ipanema
~~nuth, av. armando lombardi 999, barra (arguably the number 1 club in rio)
~~mariuzinn, av n.s. copacabana 435,copacabana
~~00 zero zero, av. padre leonel franca 204, gavea, 24540-8041
www.00site.com.br
~~bombar, rav gal san martin, 1011, leblon, 2509-3599
~~guopo loco, right next to bombar,
www.guapoloco.com.br
~~bunker, rua raul pompeia 94, copacabana, 2521-0637
www.bunker94.com.br
~~club six, rua da marracas 38, centro (lapa), 2510-3230
~~melt, rua rita ludolf, leblon, 2540-0705

most clubs in rio are like your standard fare back home. they can be difficult to get into without a long wait. of course, like back home, if you take a smoking hottie with you, your chances are much better. taxis outside of night clubs like melt etc can be problematic in that they don't always turn the meter on.

**gay clubs**

rio has a huge gay population and the gdps often mix with them. in fact there is probably just as many gay gringos paying the bills for their boyfriends as there are straight gringos paying the bills for their girlfriends.

the most famous gay cub(s) are le boy and le girl. they are at rua raul pompéia, 94. they are owned by the same people, as well as bunker in the same complex. le boy is pretty much zero woman unless they have a special event or they open the door at le girl and let the 2 clubs mix. le girl on the other hand is half girls and half guys. the girls are like 50% terma girls, the guys are mostly gay, some tourists get dragged a long by the t girls. i have been dragged along as well a few times to le girl. i would not think it is a place to go to pick up t girls, generally they act pretty cool in the club and are there to interact with their friends, having said this i have chatted to many a t girl that i have done whilst my girlfriend of the night is mingling in another part of the club.

***2 large local clubs in zona norte***

these 2 clubs are not for the first time visitor, they are in very dangerous areas. for someone that knows his way around rio after a few visits they are definitely worth checking out.

**via show**
the following post was not by me, i cannot find the name of the poster, if you know please let me know so i can credit it.

www.viashow.com.br
for those not familiar with via show, it is a popular dance/concert hall located in via dutra, km 167 on linha vermelha (red line expressway). approx. 35 to 55 minutes north of rio in baixada fluminense. everything from live bands to funk djs play at this venue. (baixada fluminense is possibly one of the much dangerous areas of rio)

expect a crowd of a few thousand on the weekends or when a popular event is being held. lotsa honeys to be found...civilians, not on the program. many cariocas frequent this place.

if you are in zona sul, and not familiar with the public transportation system, i would get a taxi. should not cost you more that 55 reals (one way) on bandeira 2 (level 2) on the meter. it is always best to ask the taxista first for an estimate.

by bus, i would suggest going to a rodoviara (bus station), either novo rio or praça 15. catch an express bus (designated by an "r" after the line number) for nova iguacu. sit up front near the bus driver. tell him you want to stop at via show..."pare pra mi, via show por favor." also, the location will be hard to miss. right off the expressway, big signs, and crowds of people hanging out front.

things usually get going at around 10pm or so. the festa continues into the break of dawn. if you come much earlier, you can monger over at the mall across the street.

when you are ready to do the do, there are many motels in the area to choose from. i strongly rec. champion. it is the top dog of motels. like vips in vidigal but, without the ocean view and high prices.

if your mission was not completed, and need to get back to zona sul, i strongly rec. a taxi. again, ask the taxista for pricing. taking a bus back is a no no late at night.

**pyramide**
sperto - "pyramide is a large discotheque. it's located in duque de caxias. taxi from copacabana is about 40-45 reais. it lies next to the delegacia (police station). saturdays are the best. pyramide is my favourite place, for non-pro's, in rio followed by via show.

close to pyramide is a square which have forró-band playing on saturdays. lots of stands selling food and beer. mostly older crowd. after a couple of beers on the praça just head 150 meters up and you will see pyramide.

entrance 8 reais. it's a big dancehall with a top/vip section which you can access for a small fee. there is live music. mixture of axé, forró etc...

just grab a waiter anywhere and he will bring you a bucket filled of ice and a dozen of beers. people are standing with beer-buckets and dancing everywhere.

you will get lots of attention as a gringo. maybe even more than you'll like. don't overdress or flash your money around. try to keep a low profile and smile to everyone.

girls, girls and more girls! i've never seen so many cuties in rio. they maybe won't jump on top of you, as these are regular girls not very accustomed to gringos. just talk with them and share your beers with them. i found it very easy to get dates at pyramide which turned out to be good sex. i haven't seen any pro's there.

safety: pyramide itself has very good security. i saw small fights inside the discotheque, but nothing serious. anyway you don't want to get mixed up in a fight with locals in d d c. be sure you don't hit on a girl who has a boyfriend.

the second time i went to pyramide, there was a fight on the outside. police came. separated the fighters and shot one of them in the head, without any reason. very ugly! the crowd got very upset.

i can recommend pyramide if you want to meet regular girls. you better speak proper portuguese. i don't recommend pyramide for newbies or mongers who are not used to leaving copacabana. i also guess there can be a risk for muggings if you wander around in the wrong streets of d d c." sperto.

!!warning!!
when i added this report for comment, sperto sent me the following message: read it carefully and be aware of the dangers before going.

sperto says: i wrote the part about pyramide in duque da caxias. actually i deleted the report shortly afterwards. the reason i deleted the report were mainly because i think it would be a bad idea recommending the place to my fellow mongers. i didn't think that much when i first wrote it.

if you're not used to places that can be rough, and where it's not advisable to show you're a gringo, then you really should avoid pyramide.

the average monger would probably have a big chance of getting himself in serious trouble inside or outside pyramide.

i think he will be much better of going to via show, which is definitely safer. - sperto.

***gdp.net***
the first i heard of the gdp network was from reading bwana diks rio guide (btw, try and get a hold of it, it is a great guide). basically gdp workers keep in contact with each other across the city and are only to eager to tell one another where a certain gringo has been, particularly if that certain gringo is where he said he wouldn't go.

i am thinking as soon as a girl sees you somewhere, the text messages start flying. ever wonder why girls go to the bathroom so often? to do their part in the gdp network.

i get tracked because i come back to rio every few months. in the intervening time girls move from one terma to another and hence know who you used to hook up with at a previous terma. this is problematic in that it is difficult for me to keep a certain cutie happy at one terma when she is being informed i am nailing several other girls at other termas. i never lie to a terma girl, but when she asks if i have been nailing someone i just change the subject, "how about those bears, eh?"

never ever underestimate the power of the gdp network. i met up with a friend today, an ex terma girl and the first thing she said was, "you were at solarium tuesday night, and 4x4 on monday". she never worked at either, how the fuck they know is beyond me. however, always assume they will find out and will be able to track your every move!

***so a gdp has kept in contact and wants you to send her money***
i have no problem giving money to a needy cause, a gdp is far from a needy cause. quite frankly, just don't do it, unless you have money to burn.

***my rio game plan***
i posted this on a site a while back. it basically sums up my "game plan" in rio.

post by me july 01:everyone has a different game plan when in rio.

i personally like the termas and will generally have 6 or so favourites girls rep001tered across the city. each trip a few drop off the list and of course a few get added. i generally see a favourite girl every second night at a terma, the one to see depends on the mood and of course where other amigos are headed for the evening. on the other nights i look for something new. of course if this is done within an establishment that i have a regular at it can take planning.....it helps if she is busy when i arrive…... all good fun.

i personally will only see a favourite outside a terma if i really like her, maybe only 1 or 2 per trip will be invited to come to my hotel/apartment. if she does come over it will be a girlfriend kind of a deal, i will not give her any cash straight out, maybe some cab money or a couple of bucks to get her "hair done", i make this clear at the beginning. of course this means a certain amount of emotional attachment can be assumed by the girl, i also make it clear that this is a short time deal, not a long term relationship. i tend to find if i invite more than a couple over per trip they are harder to control and potentially cramp my style, some can turn into pests real quick. my average trip lasts a month or 3 and hence it is more difficult to get rid of girls than just jumping on a plane after just 6 days in rio.

i will only invite a girl over to my pad if she is genuine and not likely to cause any problems. i have no interest in a gangster chic coming to my pad, that is what motels are for. any girl that comes to my place is heavily screened for emotional stability and honesty. i have a very good "bullshit detector" and hence i have never had any problems with such girls taking shit or trying to scam me. any girl invited to my place i would consider to be a pretty decent human being, hence i also do not want to hurt her emotionally or give her false hopes of a gringo passport. i try to make this clear, sometimes it is not heard though. i like to treat all girls i spend time with like the way i expect to be treated i.e with respect.

on my first trips i grabbed phone numbers off pretty much every girl i liked. now i only get the numbers off the ones that i want to keep in contact with on another visit, hence i might only accept 1 or 2 new numbers per trip. i generally don't call them unless i need to find out where they are or need a date for a dinner party with fellow deviates. i find if you start calling them they get the wrong impression and they start to call way to much and try to pull the "you can't see other women stuff". i don't think i have ever asked for a phone number, usually a girl i have seen a few times insists i take theirs, they are not exactly shy in rio.

i actually prefer email addresses. it is easier to keep in touch and easier to control, because if they start hounding me i can slow down my replies to them. i also find this great when i am travelling through europe (where i live for half the year). it is great to have "uma amiga" (a friend) to meet in italy or spain for a few days of fun. with the ever increasing number of gdp's working in europe i tend to find it is an easy and a very enjoyable hook up.

i have many friends that do 2 or 3 girls a night, usually a new girl each time, hell one of my friends averages 5 a night although he only stays for 5 nights at a time, i tend to find 1 girl a night is a good number for me. i really like to find a girl i connect with and who i see a few times, the sex just gets better and better. often she will let me do things that no one time punter will ever get the chance to do with her. hence, i prefer quality over quantity. my point is every one is different and we all get different things out of our visits, its all good.

[Bubba Boy]

=============================================================
the bubba report, updated february, 2007. part 6 -rio de janiero v sao paulo.

they are completely different cities, i love them both. someone from sampa will say "cariocas always want to have fun, they are lazy, they want to party rather than work hard to provide for their families- no one that has achieved true greatest has come out of rio". a caroica will reply "paulistas are to serious, they work all the time, they don't know how to have fun - no one coooool has ever come out of sampa". the truth is obviously somewhere in the middle but it illustrates the "theme" of each city. rio is for play, sampa is for work.

***sampa***
the population is around 17m souls. if you draw a line 100km around sampa the figure is more like 40m. this is a huge city, usually ranking as one of the 5 largest in the world. a person from the state of sao paulo is known as a paulista, a person from the city is known as a paulistano. sao paulo is often shorted to sampa.

when i first went to sampa i expected the clubs to be similar to rio, in that some would be like termas and others would be like night clubs. while sampa night clubs are similar to the rio night clubs, i never really found a true terma like they have in rio, they may exist but if they do they are not the norm. although the big clubs in sampa are much better appointed than their rio counterparts. clubs like cafe millineum, bahamas, café photo and bomboa have fantastic facilities and are huge, they would leave any club in rio for dead in this regard.

all girls fees are negotiable in sampa and hence tend to be more expensive than the fixed price rates of rio terma girls. this is especially true for the big clubs where the price can be double the cost of the most expensive club girls in rio, particularly when you add in the high entrance fees.

the clubs in sampa are geared towards locals, as touristas are very much a minority. i tend to find the clubs a little more conservative than there rio counterparts in that the music is not quite as loud and the girls are wearing more clothes.

sampa is towards the southern end of brazil, which was settled predominantly by white european and hence the girls tend to be predominantly white. adding to this, there are no beaches within easy access, meaning less tan lines. hence the girls look different, less color of the rainbow in sampa than in rio. the high end clubs tend to not have many "black" or even morenas (brunettes with caramel skin) working there. a morena is my preferred choice in rio, one could almost say i have a fetish in this regards.

the performance in bed is a matter of opinion, your will find great performers in both cities. cim and anal is common in both cities, although a paulista is more likely to charge extra for such services, where as a carioca is likely to do it because she likes it.

***rio***
the population is around 12m when you include the badlands of baixada flumense and niteroi. probably 20m within 100km. by any measure this is a large city and hence lots of variety is available. the locals are known as cariocas.

the rio night clubs are similar to what you will find in sampa in the way they operate. however the termas are different. in a terma the weapon of choice for a gdp is a g string. they definitely wear less in rio.

moving. no girl on this planet can move like a garotta from rio. fuck those girls can move. most have been dancing since the age of 3. the way they samba in front of you, wearing nothing but a g and a big smile is worth the price of the airfare alone. if you have a list of 50 things you must do before you die, watching a terma girl dance in a terma in rio will have to be on it. sampa girls can move as well, although it is hard to compete against the gold medalists when you are "merely" finalists.

the further north you go in brazil the darker the skin color. this was due to the free'd slaves tending to stay in the area of the plantations after freedom. the far far north tends to be white again . rio is situated more or less in the middle of the country and hence is a melting pot of color. being a beach suburb, the culture very much dictates that anyone who is anyone goes to the beach on sunday, the result is even white skin color is often tanned, resulting in those wonderful tan lines. my personal preference when in brazil is the classic morena, the beautiful mixed skin color you see on the postcards of rio. that look is less common in sampa. you will of course find every look in rio you could wish for.

***summary***. to party for a few days i would definitely go to rio. however i could not live in rio, primarily because of the ever present threat of crime. if i was choosing a place to live permanently i would choose sampa, hell rio is only a r220 and 40 flight away. visit them both!

*when i grow up i want to be like mike - well maybe not*

a friend of mine said he was at cafe photo a tuesday night and mike tyson came in. apparently he was quite friendly and had a bit of a chat. said he liked white girls and hence preferred sampa over rio.

wednesday night i am at bahamas with the kman and guess who walks in - mike tyson. he chatted for a while with oscar (the owner of bahamas) in the little vip area next to the main stage and then disappeared. i assumed he was upstairs. i assumed wrong!

when we get back to our hotel in centro, opposite love story, there are a lot of police cars outside. i go home, the kman goes in. mike is already in there surrounded by 20 beret wearing police. turns out he had a minor altercation with a cameraman outside, not a big deal. if only the brasilian police would put so much effort into protecting your average tourist there would be an explosion of visitors. was big news on the local television for a few days.

*warning: club romanza*, just don't go there, every report i have ever heard about this place is of ripping people off. you will also find when asking to a taxi driver to take you to a club they will almost always suggest romanza, obviously for a commission. generally speaking (90% of the time) when a taxi driver suggests a place in south america it is the nastiest rip joint in the city. as a rule i am always interested to see what a taxi driver suggest and then put it on my list not to visit.

**high end clubs worth a visit when in sao paulo**

all are excellent but expensive compared to rio. think r100-r150 just to enter, although this may include a few drinks. think another 250-300 for the girls, and another r150 for general expenses within the club. generally you are looking at r450-r600 for a romp, all inclusive. check the http://www.internationalsexguide.info guide on sampa for up to date prices. all clubs are spread out across the city. think a r25-r30 cab fare from centro.

be careful when using credit cards at these places, they add a fee on, up to 30% at most places. it is cheaper and safer to hit a atm and then pay cash to settle the bill.

a note on places that you need to negotiate for the services of a garotta. i have included the absolute minimum, based on what my friends have gotten, and the maximum that a group of my peers have said is the limit. if you are new and have zero negotiating skills a girl will try and get more. they will come around, if they don't move on.

*bahamas*
r. dos chanés, 571, moema
http://www.cyberbahamas.com.br
www.ow.com.br
the facilities for this place are fantastic, a large boite and in general, the facilities leaves a comparable club in rio for dead. consistently great girls, of course they tend to have the "white" girl look as opposed to the mixed color that rio is famous for and what i prefer.

prices: april, 06
entrance r121 (no drinks included, beers are r18)
room r99
garota r200-r300 (need to negotiate: r200 is absolute minimum, r300 max, although some girls will try to get a lot more)

nb: you can also bar fine the girls out of here for r129 (saida) paid to the house, the girls will want a bit more for this option.

*café photo*
av. hélio pellegrino, 480 –
prices: feb, 07
entrance r190 (which includes 4 drinks, red bull and whisky counts as 2 drinks).
garota r300 as a minimum, some will ask a lot more.

http://www.cafephoto.com.br/
probably one of the most expensive clubs in sampa, i personally don't like it much. there are better looking girls at other places for a lot less. no onsite facilities. be careful to check the age of the girls here, it can be higher than you think, they tend to be very well made up and once out of the clothes you tend to find not nearly as attractive as what you thought. apparently the girls here get put on a roster and invited to the club a certain amount of nights per month, hence the turnover is very good.

*café millineum*
rua coronel diogo , 1199 ipiranga
entrance r90 (includes six beers or three whiskeys)
room r70
garota r150-r200 (need to negotiate: r150 is absolute minimum, r200 max)


http://www.cafemillenium.com.br/
i like this place. the facilities are exceptional, like a 5 star nightclub in a western country. the cabines are also the nicest i have seem in any establishement. although expensive by brasilian standards, it is cheaper than the other clubs.

*bomboa american bar* -
r. capote valente, 222,pinheiros - sp - f.
http://www.bomboa.com.br/

this place has zoning problems and has been open and closed a number of times over the last year. it is obviously affecting business having this done. still when it was open it was perhaps the best club in town at the best price. think similar prices to café millenium for the girl, however entrance was r140 which included a few drinks when i went there last.

*w.e.*
rua peixoto gomide 263, bela vista
i have not been to this place but genghis khan, who writes a lot in the sampa section swears by it. having said this genghis is not short of a dollar. probably the most expensive club in samp. has onsite facilities, the girls price is fixed as well. think a bill of r1000-r1200 when you are done. i guess you can't take your dollars with you when you leave this planet.

*eu & elas*
http://www.sperotico.com.br/eu/1.htm
rua pires da mota, 494 (esq. da av. aclimação). liberdade

prices: april, 06
entrance r79 (includes 2 drinks and free buffet, beer r7)
room r40
garota r100 (need to negotiate: r100 is the minimum for 1hour, most locals pay this and you will be best to offer it before letting her get in a bid, haven't heard of anyone not excepting this price)

more of a second teir club compared with the excellent facilities of those listed above.
nb: metro station - vergueiro - then r 8 taxi ride (info from the isg board).
nb2: has a public room where you can drag the girl in there and do the deed without the room fee, of course anyone walking by can see you, hence not a great option for everybody.

*connection*
av. dr. eduardo cotching, 1.178
jardim anália franco / tatuapé . vila formosa
http://www.connectionvip.com.br
for 1 hour with a girl on site it is about r220 plus drinks. the cab fair from the center of town is a *****. it will run r90 and take close to an hour. similar layout to a rio terma, well almost. did i mention how far away this club was? it is really a long way out.

**rua nestor pestana clubs**
these clubs are more you down to earth clubs. there are about 10 of them all in a row in centro. the most famous is kilt. entrance is usually r35, which will include a drink or 2. girls will go for r200-r250. the bar fine will be 1 or 2 drinks costing around r30 each for the girl. i will usually go to one of these clubs one night and then a more expensive club every alternate night, but then the more time i am in brasil the less need is for me to do a girl every night. i will probably only do 3 or so girls a week. good option for days when high end clubs are shut, ie sundays.

**clinicas**

*clinica kin*
endereço: rua dr. josé marques da cruz, 235 - brooklin novo
http://www.clinicakin.com.br/

nice place for a change. up to 15 girls available and the reviews on the local brazilian site is always good. r120 for an hour which includes full service, bbbj is the standard and many girls will do anal.

full throttle always rates this place

**fun stuff**

*teatro orion*
rua aurora, 753 - república
www.teatroorion.com.br

this place is a bit of a laugh. basically it is a theatre where there are more or less continous shows by the ladies that frequent the place. when the ladies perform the local guys run up to the stage and grope the girls until they move out of arms length. most of the ladies you can bang on site for around r100. the quality is ordinary. i am not sure of the quality of the rooms, almost banged a girl there once, but when i started talking to her, her breath was so bad i think it would have killed a horse………at 10 paces. entrance is r10. worth going just to soak in the ambience.

*8 floors of wh*res*

there are 3 of these places known as the “8 floors of wh*res. basically they are small buildings, entirely occupied with hookers. you enter and make your way up the stairways and check out what is on each floor. a lot of the girls just hang on the staircase and lure customers by flashing their tits, ass and pussy. a bizarre scene, worth going to just check out. this is a cheap and nasty place for a quick bang and the price reflects this. think r20 or r30 for a quick bang.

3 addresses to check out while near centro.
~barao de limeira 134,
~rua dos andradas 69,
~conselheiro furtado, 151

[Bubba Boy]

=========================================================
the bubba report, updated february, 2007. part 7 -general stuff.

***airports***

you will more than likely arrive at rio de janeiro’s international airport. airport code is gig. it is officially known as galeão.

when you arrive the first thing you should do is hit the automatic teller machines. there are some on level 2, there are a lot more on level 3, you arrive on level 1. one thing you should note is that after 10pm thery will not dispense cash. this is the same as all over rio, they do not want thieves stalking atm’s at night. atm rates are usually good. avoid changing a lot of cash with the money changers at the airport, the rate will be terrible. if in a bind change a small amount of us dollars to get you to your hotel and a little to spend. remember help (at the door, not at the bar) and all the termas accept us dollars and euros, they also give you a very good rate, best rate in town is normally at the termas with the exception of terma 4x4 which gives a poor rate.

airport thieves: be very careful to lock up your suitcase securely. i always put my valuables in my carry on bag and lock that while it is stored in the overhead compartment. one time, after the “london liquid bomb scare” i could not lock my bag or carry on anything while heading back to europe. the guys at the airport had a field day, they stole my mobile, pen knife, ipod and other associated items that annoyed the shit out of me.

*airports, rio to sao paulo – domestic travel*

local airports: if staying in sampa you would want to go to congonhas (cgu) which is the domestic aeroporto and will run about r30 in a taxi from the center of town. the international in são paulo, guarulhos (gru) will run about r80 in a cab because it is quite a distant from town. likewise best to hit santos dumont (sdu) the domestic aeroporto when entering rio. it will run about r20 in a taxi to get you to copacabana/ipanema. the international aeroporto (gig) will be about r40 now. when leaving any airport just ignore the touts and hail a cab from the front. they will usually be dropping passengers and will save you maybe 1/3 off the fare.

a full domnestic fare from rio to sampa will usually run r300 each way.

note: all though the domestic airports are more convenient and will save you in cabs to and from the airport, the international flights from rio to são paulo will be cheaper, sometimes substantially. when working out which is the better deal, you wil need to take into account the taxi fares to and from the international airports, they can negate any savings. oceanair has a service that runs rio international to são paulo domestic, that is a good deal usually, saves r50 on the cab fare in são paulo.

a have gotten fares from rio to sampa for as little as r100 from and to the international airports.

*local brazilian carriers*

http://www.oceanair.com.br - ocean air
http://www.varig.com.br - varig
http://www.voegol.com.br/ - gol (has a brand new fleet of boeings)
http://www.tam.com.br - tam
http://www.webjet.com.br - web jet
http://www.voebra.com.br - bra

see the bus section, under rio for more info on interstate bus options.

*taxis from the airport*

taxis should be about r40, maybe a little more in heavy traffic from the main rio international airport (gig) to copacabana or ipanema. the trick is, and most locals do this, ignore the rabid touts and go to the second floor where people are being dropped off (the arrivals) and grab a yellow taxi there. these are your normal taxis that you will also catch around town etc. i always have a quick look to see what the meter has run before i get in and have a quick look around. when i get in the cab another check to make sure the meter is on and cleared and we are on our way. never had a problem with this. the driver loves it as well because he has got a nice trip back to zona sul (the most likely place he picked up the original passenger). if there is no meter it is most likely a radio cab which are usually white or a dodgy driver trying to grab a few extra bucks, best to grab the yellow taxis. late it night, after midnight obviously less people are getting dropped off, i just hail a cab that is moving and make sure he is using the meter before getting in. i generally do not like to get into a taxi that is just sitting on the road hanging out, they are usually looking for a fare off the meter and to rip a tourist.

the taxis touts on the first floor will take you to the prepaid booth and charge r65+, do not let them take you directly to a taxi or you will be fucked. i guess is ok for first time visitors to go to the prepaid booth but anyone that has been to rio more than once should consider going to level 2.

late at night, after 10pm there will be very few arriving cabs. it may be the smarter thing to grab a prepaid cab at this hour from the booth. a reminder, the airport is deep into a seedy area, after 10pm the extra r20 may be worth the extra safety.

from the rio domestic airport (sdu), i usually also grab an incoming cab, total tab will run a bout r22 or so. the touts will want r40+. the money saved from this is not the point, i do it because i do not like to be overcharged for services just because i am a tourist. at night this is a dodgy area, during the day it is ok.

taxi drivers will most likely not speak any english, hence it is a good idea to write down the address or show them your reservation slip before entering. even if you know where you are going they probably won't understand you because the pronunciation of words in portuguese is significantly different than english.

generally the taxis around town are quite good, with a trip between ipanema and copacabana being r10, nice and cheap, the meter is always used, if it isn't probably best to get out. the taxis outside of the clubs late at night will be problematic, they will generally not use the meter and will cause problems, just ignore them and grab a cab passing by. away from the clubs the service is quite good, cheap and safe, the meter is always used. i spend a lot of time in south america, the first thing i do when getting in a cab is to check if the meter is on, you should get into this habit as well.

flag fall is r3.50, rate 1 ends at 9pm, and rate 2 is slightly more expensive starting at r3.70. all taxis in rio run "rate 2" 24/7 in december.

***where to stay***

99% of all visitors to rio will stay in zona sul. this is the south zone and includes the so called wealthier suburbs of rio. so called because even the best suburbs in rio will be cheap as chips compared to large western cities, think about usd$150,000 for a standard 2 bedroom unit. yes there are million dollar apartments with ocean views but these make up a tiny fraction of the overall property stock. the overwhelming number of visitors will stay in copacabana/leme (the border is the middle of the beach) or ipanema/leblom (again, the border is the middle of the beach). copacabana is definitely the centre of the sleaze scene, being dominated by help, smack bang in the middle of it. it is also close to the metro and the big termas (l'uomo, monte carlo and centaurus). many first time visitors stay here. ipanema is only a mile or so away, still very close and very walkable during the day to copa. ipanema is the so called ritzy part of town. many return visitors stay here preferring the more upmarket surrounds. both locations are perfectly fine for mongering activities. ipanema, definitely has the better beach with more upmarket eye candy and less problems although petty crime can be high on both beaches.

bairros & postos.
leme, copacabana, ipanema & leblom are divided into 12 posto zones. they start at leme, posto1, and run sequentially along the beach. help is on posto 5. the start of ipanema is posto 7, posto 8 contains the gay section of ipanema beach. the caesar park hotel, is in a very hip area, which is posto 9. posto 12 is in leblom.

ok, now that you have decided to stay in copacabana or ipanema the next choice you have to make is an apartment or a hotel.

*apartments*

the 2 main advantages apartments have over hotels is 1) they tend to be cheaper, maybe 30% or up to 50% less for longer term stays & 2) there are generally no restrictions on the number of girls you can take back, and of course there are no extra guest fees. you will of course have to keep the noise level down and you and your guests will have to act in a more or less respectable manner when in the general living areas. a naked help girl in the hallway is not "respectable" and will get your ass kicked out with no refund. after all, these apartments are occupied by 90% local residents that live there every day. some even come with broadband internet access these days.

what are the disadvantages then? well generally apartments in a less developed country like brazil are....well....less developed. the electrical and water systems are generally straight from the dark ages and can have problems in providing reliable service. the bathrooms and kitchens can be old and tired, even renovated apartments tend to have very shoddy work. the walls are not very thick in some apartments and there is plenty of noise transference from apartment to apartment, adding to the problem, brasilians are generally very noisy neighbours, they will think nothing of having the music cranked 24/7. the same levels of cleanliness are also not adhered to. in general the place may look ok in pictures when booking it over the net, but when you arrive it may well be older, dirtier and noisier than expected. it can be a downer to turn up to a shitty looking apartment when on your first trip to rio. if it is your first time in rio and it is not peak times (dec to march) you may wish to book a hotel on your first few nights and go and see a few apartments the next day, contact a few agencies before you arrive, that way you know what you will be in for. be careful in booking apartments over the net, reputable companies that are listed below you will not have a problem. thoroughly inspect the apartment before handing over the remaining cash. there are no refunds!

agencies: there are a shit load of agencies you can rent apartments from in rio. most are one or two men cottage operations, a lot are expats who have become very familar with latin american ways. i now live half of the year in latin america and half the year in western europe and the most frustrating thing for me is most things move slowly and inefficiently in latin america compared to the west. hence, the service levels of these agencies can be frustrating. i have heard good things and bad things from most of them, with maybe the exception of kenn (http://www.ez-riorentals.com/ ), whom i have only heard good things. i also used sladtko on my last trip, he was very good, bordering on excellent, i was impressed with his honesty and integrity ( http://www.rioholidays.com/ ). there is also bobby ( http://www.blameitonrio4travel.com/ ), i use his service to buy tickets a lot, i generally don't use his apartments because they are to close to help for my liking, some guys love him, some don't, he is another option. the one agency that continues to come up in regards to complaints is http://www.gringomanagement.com/. have also heard a lot of issues about "marina", i won't go into details because i cannot verify the details that are quite serious, but i will say i would never deal with her. a positive point about agencies is that they can help you out with language difficulties if required and can generally assist you if needed, although always remember they make their living from charging you for their service, festas they can organise will contain a decent profit margin for them, better to organise one yourself at half the cost. maid service can also be provided for between r30-r50 (expensive in my opinion considering the maid actually gets paid r20 -r30 per day) a pop as required, but no, you cannot fuck her! most apartments will come with a safe, but not all, enquire when booking, you really do need one. make sure you do a search on all the agencies before you use them, search google, the message boards and see what comes up.

recommended agencies:

http://www.ez-riorentals.com/ kenn,
http://www.rioholidays.com/ slatko,
http://www.blameitonrio4travel.com/ bobby,
http://www.rentaflat.com.br/

agencies to avoid:
warning: gringo managent (http://www.gringomanagement.com ), have been complained against so much that the complaints are too numerous to mention. the complaints come from such a large number of different people that the chances of having a nightmare stay with them will be very high. the most common complaint is that he agrees to rent one apartment and then when you turn up you get switched into another vastly inferior apartment. there are no refunds if this happens. just not worth renting from this guy when there are better alternatives.

although i have listed a lot of negatives here, i have done so to highlight what to look out for. many experienced mongers swear by apartment rentals, if you are careful and pick yours wisely the only thing you will have to be concerned with is how many garottas you can nail each day.

nb. if you rent a very upmarket and expensive apartment, chances are you may not be able to take back guests. you may well get away with a very well dressed lady but you certainly won't be able to take help girls up there by the truckload. enquire when booking about guest policy, they will know the situation and don't be embarrassed as a good proportion of their clients will be fellow deviates.


**hotels**
the advantages. firstly there are more of them and providing you are not on a package tour you have the flexibility of leaving the next day and finding something more appropriate to your needs if required. room service everyday is also a major advantage, all that sexo sure does go through a lot of towels and sheets. the majority will come with internet access and have a good safe to lock you shit up in. the staff will also make sure your guest shows id before entering and they will record it, this is a good security measure for you.

disadvantages. apart from the normal problems with booking a hotel sight unseen, the biggest problem is the "guest policy". some hotels will not allow guests at all, while some will charge a "guest fee", and some will allow guests sometime and not at other times. the fee maybe r30 - r60 in a moderately priced hotel. most hotels that do allow guests will only allow one at a time and may charge for each one. all hotels in rio have a 5% tax added to the bill for lodging, generally not quoted in the rate.

some hotels i can recommend at the moment that i have stayed at, but please be aware policies can change over night and hence it is best to do research before leaving.

*princess copacabana*, has a sister hotel in ipanema which i believe is also good. runs about r200- r300 per night in peak times, very friendly guest policy and when i was there they did not charge a guest fee. avoid the road side rooms, they are noisy as hell. i believe they have internet connection now within some of the rooms for r15 extra, might want to check that. http://www.promenade.com.br/

*partheon hotels*, my last few trips i have started to stay in ipanema, primarily at the parthenon queen elizabeth . around r220 per night and again did not charge me a guest fee, but then again i will only have a girl come to my room once or twice per week. if you are trucking them in it may be different. i find the accor group to be great for hotels all over brasil and i stay in one of their hotels when in sampa. they all seem to be guest friendly. all generally have internet connection within the rooms free of charge.
http://www.accorhotels.com.br/home/home_pt.asp

*sofitel*, although a member of the accor group, probably don't won't to stay there, apparently they do allow guests but insist on a non negotiable r250 guest fee (in other words: they don't want guests) source: jaimito cartero

*marriot*, stayed here on my second trip, around usd200 per night, no guests as i was only there a few nights but i believe they do allow them. at the better hotels you will have to make sure your girl is dressed well, a tattoo'd gangster chick you grabbed from the beach probably ain't going to make it in. great location, a couple of blocks from help and right on the beach, well as close as you can get anyway.

*copacabana palace*. the most famous hotel in latin america (maybe), costs about usd300 if booked over the net, a bargain compared with what you would have to pay for a similar hotel in europe, think usd$750+. great location maybe 6 blocks up from the marriot on the beach away from help. i stayed here on my first trip, at the time they allowed guests, well they did for me anyway, but then the girl i was with was stunning and super classy. in fact she just got married to a rich expat and now lives a life of luxury, good on her i say! judging by the young girls lying by the pool in the morning i think they let more than just my girl in. on my last trip, a friend stayed there and they definitely did not allow guests.

both the rioroiss and the arpoador inn are girl friendly apparently.

what to do if your guest is denied entry -

**motels**
these wonderful latin american institutions allow you to rent a room for the hour and of course do not mind multiple guests, hence they are ideal for 2 girls or festas (parties), or of course if you have problems getting one girl into your hotel. they run from average to quite luxurious, with the most famous being vips, ( http://www.vipsmotel.com.br/ ) where the millennium suite has been used to shoot many famous pornos from private. there are numerous motels in copacabana and all over the city. they are used a lot by locals who often live in small apartments with multiple members of their family ie no privacy. the kman once called his "amiga" who happened to be in a motel at the time, "what are you doing there?" he says "i am with my girlfriend" is her reply, brasilians really love their sex, in rio anything is possible! they are also surprisingly cheap with good accommodations being had for as little as r40 for a few hours. even quite luxurious motels will only run r100 for 8 hours. super luxury like vip can cost a little bit more, but they do have swimming pools in some suites, the millennium suite has 2 private pools!! i think it is about r550 for 8 hours, other suites start from r200 or so at vip. hotel sinless not far from vip is also very good ( http://www.sinless.com.br/ ).

the following post i saved but do not know the posters name. basically it is planning for a vip festa. it sounds like a well travelled game plan.

*vips*: millenium is r$500 for 8 hours; you will also pay an extra r$40 per person over 2 for the millenium suite (makes sense to get extra individual rooms at r$75 in case anyone wants privacy or a place to keep their stuff); with the millenium suite, you get any two items off the menu. escorts from karlas will cost you r$200 for 2 hours; r$300 for 3 hours plus taxi to and from vips;

add in drinks, food (and take it with you, don't buy from vips).

you probably want a minimum of 6 guys to do the millenium and a good plan is one group of girls for 3 hours-break for 2 hours (eat, recover etc) then another round for 3 hours. any fewer guys (unless cost is no object) and you might want to consider a smaller suite. real, brisa and new brisa are all good ones.

*toilets*
generally because the plumbing system in brasil is quite poor, no toilet paper gets put into the bowl. some western standard hotels and apartments have a sufficiently strong system to cope for this, but this is the exception to the rule. hence, whenever you see a paper bin next to the toilet, it will generally be for depositing "used" toilet paper into. if you put toilet paper in the bowl, it will usually clock it, not pleasant for all concerned. you can usually get away with a piece of 2 of paper, the trick is to flush regularly while doing to deed.


***metro***
the metro system in rio is very easy to use, this is due to basically only 2 lines operating (more or less), hence you won't get easily lost like you could in a web like system that prevails sampa (although i find that metro easy to use there as well). basically the metro starts at rua siqueira campos station (copacabana) and you will head towards centro, the sign will say zona norte (north zone). on your return trip head for zona sul (south zone). to get to the downtown termas, urugaiana station is your stop and will take about 17minutes from rua s campos. 4x4 and terma 65 are only 2 blocks to the right of the station as you exit. to hit terma aeroporto get off at cinelandia, for terma rio antigo get off at gloria, you will need a map to find both of these places but they are only a 10 minute walk from the station.

to use the system you buy you ticket at the booths inside the station. they issue a unitario (r2.25) which is good for 1 trip or a duplo (r4.50) which can be used twice or if you are really keen a muliplo (10 trips=r22.50). once you have purchased your ticket, you insert it into the turnstile which will allow entry. the machine keeps your ticket if it is a unitario and spits it back out the top if it is a duplo. you do not need anything to exit the station. the system is very safe and very clean, although i would not necessarily like to take it past centro up into zona norte. i always catch the metro to go to centro, much quicker and safe than a taxi. i also find it ok to ride back even late at night. the whole system is monitored by cameras which encourages the would be thieves to pick other less monitored targets.

for those staying in ipanema, you can catch the metro buses which drop you to the station at s campos for free. you buy your ticket on the bus and it is also good for the train portion. when buying a ticket in centro to return, you have to ask for the ipanema ticket, this will be returned to you by the machine as you enter the station. you then get off at s campos and give it to the bus ticket collector for you journey back to ipanema. there are a few limited stops to catch the metro bus to the station. there is a stop near centaurus, outside the zona sul supermarket, look for the "m" symbol. people line up on the footpath for the bus, join the que.

they are in the process of extending the metro line and eventually it will go to ipanema and perhaps beyond. there is currently a metro station being built at rua miguel lemos & rua pompeu loureiro, copacabana. as to when it will open, only the gods know.

to visit 4x4 and the downtown termas see more detail under the centro terma section.

***buses***
the bus system has a reputation for being dangerous. while they do drive like fucking lunatics, i find them quite good for getting between ipanema and copacabana, not so much to save the cash, but more for the experience. probably not good to catch them to a far away destination as the danger factor may bite your ass. the cost is fixed and is posted on the front windscreen. the price is usually around r2, you pay the attendant behind the driver sitting in front of a turnstile - you will see them clearly enough. small bills are best to pay for the fare, a r50 will probably do you no favours.

the main bus station in all brasilian cities is called the "rodoviária". this will be where most connections happen in the city and where virtually all inter city buses will arrive and leave. the rio rodoviária is in a semi seedy area just north of centro (the central business district), as you will invariably want to get to the south side of a town a cab ride will be r20-r25. do not take a bus from here into the south zone with luggage or unless you know your way around rio, it can be dangerous. taxis can be problematic here, they are waiting for green tourists, make sure you grab a taxi with a meter and insist they use it before heading on your way. i have been through here a few times on my way to zona norte, i am usually accompanied by a local that i know and trust, they are just as concerned with safety as you, they deal with it everyday of their lives.

i am not really an interstate bus kind of a guy, but i intend to catch the bus from sampa to rio one day. primarily just to experience what the locals do and see the scenery along the way. i believe the sampa rodoviária is part of the metro station "tietê" and is called tietê rodoviária, hence it is possible to cut the transport costs right down for the budget conscious. i have been told the rio tickets are sold on the ground floor and all other tickets on the first floor. interstate buses from all reported sources tend to be of a high standard, with large seats and air con, they of course come in differing classes, choose the luxury bus and i am sure it will be fine. on my map tietê metro is only about 8 stops from the centro area of sampa.

**white vans**
if you must go to the further out places ie the more dangerous places, the smaller white vans are the way to go. they are safer in that they have a smaller number of passengers. they are not for the first time visitor though, as you will need to know where they are going and have your general wits about you. you ask how much it is and pay the driver at the end. short trips are r2, longer trips can be r5 ie deep into or past zona norte.

warning: do not use them unless you absolutely know what you are doing or you are with someone that you basically trust a hell of a lot.

***driving***
you can rent a car relatively cheaply in brasil. however they do drive very poorly, and there is no real thinking ahead or thinking of the consequences of what might happen after the fact. very frustrating. the death rate is about 10 times higher than in your average western country on a per capita basis hence drive very carefully and think for both yourself and the other driver/lunatic! the most basic model is r90, a small western sized car will be r150 maybe more. there are a number of car rental companies (at least 15) lined along avinida princesa isabel in leme at the end of copacabana. most large international companies are represented although they are more expensive, think r140 per day for the same car you get at the smaller national companies like movida (located in avinida princesa isabel). a national drivers licence is sufficient to rent a car. usually an international licence is not required. always carry your passport while renting a car, they need it to rent the car in the first place and the police can ask for it at any raod block.

when out in the country be careful to see speed cameras. they have a low tolerance level and just a few kilometres per hour over the posted limit will see you pinged. the fines are quite high, r200-r900. on rental cars they will add it to your bill after you are probably back home because it takes a few days/weeks to process, and you cannot dispute the charge. hence if you are in the country and see a lot of people break suddenly, take a good look around and there will probably be a camera. they are marked by signs.

a tip: most rental cars will be “flex”, that is they run off petrol or alcool. alcool is the cheaper option. a further tip, try to fill up when you are away from zona sul. for example, the last time i rented, alcool was r1.80 a litre in copa, it was r1.40 on the highway coming back from zona norte. it was r1.00 in sao paulo the same day, now that makes a difference!

[Bubba Boy]

=========================================================
the bubba report, updated february, 2007. part 7 -general stuff. part 2.

***common ailments & the pharmacy***
every time i go to brazil i get a sick, one time i was totally laid up in bed for 2 days, seems just about every other gringo that goes there also gets it and it really can knock the shit out of you and adding to the pain you are constantly thinking about fucking but can't! it is a good idea to od on vitamin c or whatever voodoo you normally practice to keep the bugs away before hitting rio, your immune system may be weakened from the flight, general partying and lack of sleep. i have finally found a solution that works for me. as soon as i feel the affects of a bad headache and muscle aches come on i get stuck into the antibiotics, the longer the symptoms go without treatment means longer recovery time and less sexo. the one that works for a bad case of the flu is azitromicina dildratada (generic name). it costs about r26 for 3 tablets (take 1 per day with food), is available without prescription from the local drogaria/farmacia of which there is one on every corner in copa or ipanema. they worked so well for me i stocked up on them and keep them in my travel bag. if you don't speak porto, just write it down and take it to the farmacia, the *back section*, not the cashiers, and they will get it for you. conjunctivitis (red eye) is also common, if you wake up with a partially closed eye hit the farmacia quickly and it is a good idea to get it checked out by a doctor when you get home, some forms can be more serious than others. even if only 1 eye is affected you need to put the drops in both eyes because it will most likely transfer.

tip number 2, for when you get a mild case of diarrhoea, very common, diasec works great. about r12 for 12 tablets. you take only one and it should cure the problem, if it doesn't within 24 hours take another one. if you are still having problems, its time to see the doc.

according to the cia’s official website .7% of the population has hiv in brazil. the united states has a rate of .6%, hence, relatively speaking, hiv is not a huge problem in brazil, not compared to some african countries which have rates of 20%+. having said that though it would not be wise to travel bareback through brazil. use a little shirt "camisinha" (portuguese for condom)

disclaimer: i am not a doctor, take the above advice as a guide only.

***vitamin v & c***
many mongers come to rio to fuck like an olympic athlete, no worries here, the contestants ie "us mongers" are not drug tested after the event, hence artificial assistance is allowed. virtually every experienced monger is on viagra or cialis. if you have never tried them, they work quite differently.

*viagra* will give you strong wood within 15-30 minutes or so of taking the little blue diamonds and last a few hours, maybe up to 6 hours, depending upon the dosage, amount of sex you have, age and of course alcohol consumed. despite what you may have heard, you do not constantly walk around "pitching a tent", you only get a chubby when stimulated. vitamin v is my preferred weapon of choice when going into battle. i usually buy 4x100mg tablet packs, about r125-145 otc in a rio farmacia. i then break the tablets into 1/8 pieces, my first session with a gdp will be unassisted then i will take a 1/8 tablet for the second round in a day. towards the end of my holiday i may have a 1/8 tablet before the first session, and then another before the next session, particular if i have had a few drinkies. i tend to get desensitised after a few days. you can also buy 4x50mg tablets for about r90, however the 100mg are more cost effective. if you intend going down this root while in rio, do you research on side affects before you go as any v purchased in rio will have instructions for use only in portuguese. some farmacias will try and charge r180 for 100mg v, act surprised and they will come down to the standard r145ish or go to another 1. a small percentage of v takers can experience a head ache after v, hence first time up be sure to be careful and take a small dose. generic v is generally not available in rio, it is widely available in other south american countries. i have seen it in argentina, columbia, uruguay.

ordering from the farmacia in rio: if you cannot speak porto and the pharmacist does not speak english (better than average chance), just right down what you want on a piece of paper and get them to write down the cost, you will work it out. they get a small commission for everything they sell and hence are eager as hell to help you, they even suggestively sell other crap that you probably don't need. sir, would you like cialis with your viagra?- suggestive selling is quite ridiculous in rio. remember all the prescription medicine gets ordered to the rear of the store, you will see the counter, usually with a couple of guys/girls in white coats waiting to assist you.

*cialis* has probably overtaken v in popularity amongst hobbyist. these little tan colored numbers last 36 hours or longer, some have reported effects up to 4 days, hence if you take one on the way out on the town it should be good for at least the following night and early morning as well. i tend to find it does not give as strong an erection as v and requires more stimulation to get a rise. with v, i could be with the ugliest of beasts and still get a strong enough erection to punch a hole through a wall. it comes in 10mg and 20mg tablets. apparently v & c should not be mixed within a 24 hour period of each other. 4x20mg costs around r95-r100.

generic v & c is available in rio farmacias at about 50% of the cost. i personally don't go down this route.

cheap r3 pill cutters are available at most farmacias.

disclaimer: i am not a doctor, take the above advice as a guide only.

**xylocaina**
while on the subject of pharmacy products, you may notice a lot of girls in rio will prepare themselves before anal sex with a different tube of lube. this is a local anesthetic called xylocaina (active ingredient is lidocaine, 2% & 5%, with 5% being the most popular ) and is available in the local farmacias for r12 a tube. if gotten on your skin it can cause slight numbness, goes away in a less than an hour. i mention this more as general knowledge, if your girlfriend back home won't do anal because she thinks it will hurt too much, might want to buy her gift......... likewise, i have found a lot gdp's are willing to try anal with me, often for the first time, definitely use xylocaina and go real slow (porto: devagar) on them otherwise she may not let you have another go at her ass. have i told you how much i love this place?

***condoms (camisinhas)***
if you are an average sized western gentleman, you will find the brazilian sized condom to be a little small. the k man, on his first trip, came with 5 friends, all of them had a little red ring around their dicks towards the end of their trip. the reason, brasilian condoms are just to small, and hence pinch the "tip", try explaining that mark to the wife on your return!. most of the big termas actually stock larger condoms, however the cheaper ones do not, hence it may be a good idea to bring a few regular sized "little shirts" from home. if you have to buy them in rio, try to look for "preserv extra" they are larger than your average condom.

nb: the brasilian word for condom is camisinha. a camisa is a shirt, any word with "inha" on the end reflects a diminutive of the subject. ie a camisinha is a small shirt, i think this is kind of a cute name.

***changing money***
the currency is the real, pronounced “heal”. on my first visits to rio the atm's were the way to go, however they have started to give a slightly less favourable rate ( 2- 3% less ) and charge a few bucks per transaction. another problem is foreign cards don't always work and the ones that do work will only give about r1000 per night. citibank gives you up to r2000 in separate transactions, it actually gave my hsbc card a total of r1500 per day in 2 separate transactions of r1000 + r500, while hsbc would only give me r1000 per day at their machines. after 10pm you cannot get cash at out of any atm's in brasil because of crime problems. the best banks for my card seem to be citibank and hsbc. the local banks do not like my card. of course if you carry 2 cards you can get twice the cash out.

a tip: always try to bring at least usd$1000 in cash, sometimes you can get stuck with no reals and this can be a major pain. imagine with all those glorious bundas abounding and you not being able to partake, bring some extra dollars, for most big ticket items people will accept them, may not give you a great rate when in a bind but you will have some cash never the less.

**atm’s**

*citibank locations*
copacabana:
- av. nossa senhora de copacabana, 619, cnr rua figueiredo magalha
(near "blockbuster")
- ipanema & leblom: rua visconde de pirajá, 459 &229, ipanema (2 branches)
rua ataulfo de paiva, 1260, leblom

more branches: http://www.citibank.com.br (click on "agencias" for branches)

note: citibank has far and away the easiest atm's to figure out. when you select english they actually do so. hsbc tends to be difficult in this regard despite having an english option (fucked if i know what "english" they speak).

*hsbc locations*
ipanema & leblom:
- rua visconde de pirajá 259 &608, ipanema (2 branches)
- rua cupertino durao 219, leblom.
- r rnh guilhermina 117, leblom.
copacabana:
- av nossa senhora de copacabana, 583 & 817 & 1246b (3 branches)
- av princesa isabel 186, copacabana (lido end of copa)

http://www.hsbc.com.br/ is not quite as friendly as the citibank site, but again look for "agencias" for locations.

nb: you cannot open a bank account in brasil unless you are a resident or have a permant visa. (do not ask me why!).

now when in rio i generally take cash with me. of course this has its problems in that if you loose it you are basically fucked, having said this i lock the bulk of it in a safe and change enough for a couple of days. i also pay for my terma bill in usd$ when in monte carlo, l'uomo, solarium and sometimes at centaurus (sometimes the rate sux there), the change is given in reals which works for me. they generally give a better rate than the atm's or the cambios. the termas down town still accept usd$ but give a crappy rate, something like a big hotel would give you. help is a good place to change a few bucks however of late the exchange has been up and down.

**cambios**. in spanish or portuguese this word essentially translates to "change" ie change your $ for r. they are everywhere in copacabana and ipanema, just look for the sign. they are usually a street or 2 back from the beach and quite often share an office with a travel agency. i have also noticed the euro is becoming more widely accepted and most cambios quote a rate for euros as well. i guess this is due to its strength off late against the us peso (sorry guys, i just had to get that one in! go the euro!!). i have also noticed cambios in central give a slightly better rate, maybe r7 better than in zona sul. of course you have to transport cash into and out of the city which increases the chance of loosing it. just remember, most cambios in centro don't change cash after 4pm, something to do with security.

the rate on in january 2005 went something like this for changing usd$100.
help r275, terma l'oumo r275, cambios r265, atm's r260, monte carlo r265. 4x4 r240.
the rate on june 2005 was help r260, l'uomo r255, cambios r245, monte carlo r250.
the rate of oct 2005 was help r230, lummox r230, cambios r225, monte carlo r230, centaurus r240 (surprisingly).

off late the exchange rate has been touching r208 for usd$100 (early 2007)

***shopping***
personally i think the shopping in brazil leaves a bit to be desired, generally you can get a far better selection back home, hell america is probably the best place in the world to shop with the best prices for major goods. having said that everyone wants to pickup something to remember brazil by. i usually get a few local t shirts from ipanema or the 2 major malls.

*barra shopping & rio sul*
barra shopping is apparently the largest mall in latin america. by western standards it is medium sized, at best. they do have a good selection of clothes to buy, prices are cheaper for some things but electrical goods are much more expensive than back home. rio sul is probably half the size and worth a look if just to see the eye candy.

barra shopping is located in barra da tijuca, about 30 minutes south of rio proper. runs about r35 in a cab or you can get a bus for r2, quite safe during the day. rio sul is located in botafogo, which is the next suburb along from copacabana. most buses go there.

i personally do not like shopping at the best of times, and hence have resisted all offers to be dragged around a mall by a local garotta and of course be expected to outlay cash. i personally believe to pay a girl a certain rate and under exceptional circumstances a present when i go home but definitely no shopping tours for p4p. many have asked though and i believe the odd gringo does do this. i have heard that many girls will exchange the goods once you have gone, hence it is a judgement call as to if it is really worth it.

*modern sound*
probably the best music store in rio, they have shows at lunchtimes (sometimes), it is nice to browse for music and grab a coffee and watch the show. you must remember shops in brasil are very small compared to the west, hence don't expect to see huge virgin mega store, it is a medium sized store by western standards, but way cool.
rua barata ribeiro, 502 & rua santa clara.

*cigars*
so you are from the us and cubans are banned. no problem in rio, you can get all your favourite brands, including cohiba, monte cristo and romeo y julieta. although due to them being expensive not many shops carry them. many 5 star hotels have a good selection and you can smoke them in the bar, albeit it at a price. the second level bar in the marriot is great.

try http://www.eschcasadelhabano.com.br , one of the more famous cigar cafes around. the restaurants are great to eat in, nice and upmarket, and of course you can puff away before/during/after your meal. they have 2 shops/café/restaurants, one of them is only a block away from terma quatro por quatro (4x4) and is on the same street as terma 65.
their locations are:
ria do rosario, 107, centro.
rua dias ferreira, 78-a, leblon.

be careful when buying cubans in south america, there are a lot of fakes around, the ones you see for really cheap prices are almost certainly fake.

***supermarkets***
there are a lot of small supermarkets dotted all over copa and ipanema. they are primarily located on av n s copacabana, the street 1 block back from the beach in copacabana. generally 2 big brands dominate the area. zona sul & pão de açúcar. they are quite small, poorly stocked and not very price competitive by western standards. still, they are good to stock up on 6packs of 1.5l bottles of water, necessities etc.

the cashier will most likely speak zero english, but none the less will ask you a few questions, latinos always ask questions in shops!. one will be "tem cartão de zona sul" (do you have a rewards cards for zona sul) or "tem trocar" (do you have change). no place in brasil ever carries more than the absolute minimum amount of change, hence they are always running out - asking customers for it etc, be prepared for these 2 questions all the time. chances are whatever she asks your answer will be “no”.

***movies***
most western movies that are played in brasil are left in tact with portuguese sub titles, hence it is a viable night out for you and a garrota. brasilian girls are actually great to go to the movies with, they are always up for a bit of affection and will probably start stroking you dick with in the cinema.

for movie playing times you can visit this site.
http://www.severianoribeiro.com.br/

cinemas:-

*roxy*: in copacabana cnr rua bolivar & av n s copacabana
*rio sul*: has a good size cinema complex.
*barra da tijuca – new york*: has the cinema that all the girls want to go to. be careful when travelling down there at night. the roads back are dangerous and often road blocked by police so make sure you have id (passport) so they can't extort a bribe from you. the cinema is new york and it is the biggest in rio.
http://www.ucicinemas.com.br (select new york city centre)

http://www.cinemark.com.br/


***books about brazil***

the follow books i have read and are recommended for a greater understanding on brazil.

the brazilians – joseph a page. about the history of brazil from early 1900’s up to 1995.
a death in brazil - peter robb, story more about the history of brasil over the last 20-30 years. told by a gringo travelling through the north etc.
the politics of military rule, 1964-85. thomas e skidmore. haven’t read.
eleven minutes - paulo coelho – story about a brazilian girl her works in switzerland as a working girl.

501 portuguese verbs - barron's educational series, inc. the best list of verbs and their conjugations in all tenses. a must for anybody speaking porto.

finding these books in brazil would be difficult. buy them from your home country.

***food***
you can get good quality food in rio for a fraction of what you would pay in the west. brazil is now the largest exporter of beef in the world, hence every meal generally comes with meat and rice. although the quality is good, they are a little bit behind in the health stakes, everything tends to have a little bit more fat and salt content than i am used to, hence watch the pounds or better still grab an extra garotta to work off those calories.

*suco bars* (juice bars) - these little eateries are great. they are recognisably by the fruit decoratively stacked on the walls and hanging from every available space. many open early and end late, some are open 24/7. very little english is spoken but you can get by just by looking at the menu hanging on the wall or picking up a few words, most people will be eager to help you order, brazilians are friendly by nature. most meals are a combination sandwich/hamburger deal with a freshly squeezed juice (suco). most meals will set you back between r5 and r8. that is right between usd$3 -$4.

kice suco: 100m from help on avinida nossa senhora de copacabana cnr rua miguel lemos.

kice is a favourite of mine, open 24 hours (maybe closes for a few hours in winter), they even have a few guys working there that can speak english, well they know the important words for food

a tip: the locals wrap a napkin around the sandwich/burger so their hands never touch the food. this is to prevent any contamination as they generally do not have anywhere to wash your hands prior to eating and rio has plenty of less than clean surfaces for the said contamination to occur.

must try asaci, i believe it is made from a fruit taken from the amzon, it is black, thick, a meal in itself, you may like it, you may hate it, but you must try it - go on be a man, you are in rio for new experiences, that’s what travelling is all about!

for a list of juices in english see the language section.

*restaurante a kilo* (restaurants that charge by the weight of the food).

you can find them by the signs outside giving the price per kilo ie r15 per 100g. again these places are great and are everywhere in rio. there are many of them in avinida nossa s copacabana which is one block back from the beach. the deal is you go into the restaurant and a lady (usually) waiting at the door will hand you a piece of paper or a plastic card. you then look for where the buffet is and grab a plate and select what you want at the buffet, no language problems here, as you don't have to say much. you can also get your meat of the guy at the churrasco ( bbq ), just point if you don't know portuguese, or better still learn how to say a few meats. when you have piled you plate up, you hand it to the lady at the end of the line who weighs it and records the number on your paper. usually drinks are brought to your table. the waitress will usually say "tomar" which literally means "to take" as in "what would you like to take a drink (beber)". some even have guys come around to your table with skewers of meat from which they slice pieces and place on your plate, these places are fixed price deals usually. the places that do this have little green and red disks on the table, when you have had enough flip the disk to red, it means "stop bringing me meat i am fat enough". the average kilo/ churrascarias will usually cost around r12, which includes great meat, various accompaniments, a drink and salad. fantastic! you pay on the way out, the lady will usually give you back a slip of paper with "pago" (paid) stamped on it to give to the door lady. these places get really busy around 12pm - 2pm, i usually go just before or after as the local pensioners have sharp elbows and are not afraid to use them. there are of course more upmarket churrascarias that will cost more like porcao. i will usually eat at a kilo place at least once a day.

my favourites in copacabana are:
*kilograma -av nossa sra de copacabana # 1144. (about 3 blocks from help, ipanema side)
http://www.kilograma.com.br/

*solario: av nossa sra de copacabana #1175. (towards the start of a n s copacabana, the street being 1 way, towards ipanema)
great kilo place, in my opinion the quality of the salad and meat is better hear than most other kilo places. a good meal will run about r12.

*grill inn, av nossa sra de copacabana #1182, directly opposite solario.

my favourites in ipanema are:

*frontera: rua visconde de piraja, #128.
upmarket place, virtually brand new in 2006. will run a little more than the normal kilo place, think r18 for a meal with a soda.
www.frontera.com.br

nb: churrasco- literally translates to bbq. more specifically in restaurants large skewers of meat are cooked and the waiters bring it to you and slice a bit off.....fantastic. the king of all meat cuts in brasil is "picanha" ([CodeWord134] - kan - yah), second best cut "copine" (ko peen), i also like "maminha" (ma - me a). chicken is "frango", spoken like it is spelt.

*the office*
av aires saldanha #92 a, copacabana.
http://www.theoffice-sportsbar-restaurant-brasil.com/

run by a very friendly hat wearing rogue australian who i like very much. great place to watch american sport on the weekends. always american football on sat and sun and sometimes other days. during the week many semi well off locals go to enjoy the live bands and to have a good time, great atmosphere and mix of gringos-locals. need to book a table on friday nights. meals range from r15 for breakfast to r20-r40 for dinner. beer is about r4, juice r4. in the small street behind directly behind help. if you do take a girl there make sure she is not dressed like a "help" girl, respectful casual dress is the code. you can check email for free after a meal. minimum consumption r10. this is my "office" when in rio.

nb: they have a wifi internet hot spot throughout the restaurant with a number of power outlets close to each table/booth.

*upmarket restaurants *
milano: my favourite restaurant in ipanema is milano: the sea bass is excellent as is the risotto seafood (risotto frutas da mar). runs about r100 for 2 people, the same restaurant in europe would be e250+. it is an upmarket restaurant so dress appropriately. smart casual will do.

rua gomes carneiro, 132 ipanema. (21) 2522-0303.
http://www.milanodoc.com.br/

carretao: an excellent churrascaria in 2 locations is carretao. the bill will run about r75 for 2 people. a slightly upmarket restaurant.

rua siqueira campos, 23, copacabana.
rua visconde de piraja, 112, ipanema.
http://www.carretaochurrascaria.com.br/

garotta de ipanema: (the girl from ipanema)
corner rua vinicius de moraes & prudente de moraes street

this restaurant was made famous by antonio carlos "tom" jobim & vinícius
de moraes writing the famous song "the girl from ipanema" on one of its tables. most of the waiters have been there along time, i occasionally speak to silva, the waiter that filled the request for paper on which the song was penned. he has been there 35 odd years and is a nice guy. it is one of the few tourist orientated restaurants that has great food. the picanha for 2 (or 3) is great, it comes with a small cooker plate where you throw the meat on to be cooked as needed.

more about tom:
rua vinicius de moraes, ipanema: this street, formerly named montenegro street, got famous for the veloso bar, at the corner of prudente de moraes street. the bar is presently named "garota de ipanema" (the girl from ipanema). there, tom jobim and poet vinicius de moraes once admired the charming walk of heloisa eneida, who inspired the world famous song. in ipanema, go to rua nascimento silva 107, where jobim used to live in the sixties, at apartment #201. there is a plate at the entrance of the small building.

**tia palmira restaurant**

again i cannot remember who posted this, but i saved it on the premise of trying this restaurant, like so many well laid plans in rio i just didn't get the time but will next trip.

"best foodie experience: if you like seafood and bahian style sauces, tia palmira restaurante is without an equal anywhere. top chefs from the us sit
there in awe (or hustle back to the kitchen, if they know portuguese). no
menu: you sit down and they serve you based on the best seafood available
that day. and serve you and serve you. seven appetizer courses, eight
entrees, seven desserts, for a fixed price of 49 reais. come with a driver,
who can roll you back to the car afterwards. great for a special garota.
about an hour southwest of copacabana in a little fishing village (barra de
guaratiba) at caminho do souza, 18. phone: (21) 2410-8169."

upmarket restaurants by lorenzo, a fellow deviate and contributor.

lorenzo says:-if you like fine dining and are not a penny pincher, and if you find a termas girl that you like and make arrangements for her to take a night off and party with you, why not begin the evening by taking her out to dinner at a fine restaurant? i love to eat and hate to do it alone, but since i always travel alone, this is an ideal way to find myself a dinner companion. however, it's best to do this with someone with whom you have a bit of chemistry. my favorite is antiquarius in leblon, but other excellent dining establishments are satyricon (http://www.satyricon.com.br/ ), yemanja, and even upscale churrascarias like mariu's and porcao. odds are likely that she will never have experienced anything like this, since these places are beyond the reach of all but well to do brazilians. on the other hand, if you are american, western european, or japanese, you will find that even the most expensive restaurants are modestly priced by the standards of your own country. for example, dinner for two at antiquarius, rio's best restaurant, will probably come to less than us$130, including drinks, wine, appetizer, dessert, and tip. we are always talking about a gfe, and to me this is an essential part of a gfe. - lorenzo

nb, marius is actually 2 restaurants next to each other, at the end of leme right on the beach. both the seafood and beef restaurants are excellent. a must do, all you can eat of the finest food for r120 ish for meat or a little more for seafood (r150 per person for food).

***mobile phones***
you really need a mobile phone when staying in rio. it is handy to keep in touch with girls, but i find, more importantly, to keep in touch with fellow mongers. if you use the local carriers expect a few more issues than you would in the western world, text messages can go astray, are not always compatible with every network and not all carriers will allow you to send or receive international text message, but for the most part they are ok.

you have 3 options:

option 1) bring you own phone on global roaming, but be prepared to be hit with an expensive bill when you get home. you may also find other mongers cannot text you because local carriers are not always compatible with international carriers. local mongers probably won't want to call you because it will eat up credits very quickly. not the preferred option but in bind it will work. make sure you set up global roaming before you go. don't bet on all carriers to have reciprocal coverage in rio.

option 2) bring you own phone, make sure it is "unlocked" so that it can accept a new sim card before leaving, and add a prepaid sim card from one of the local carriers. you can also buy a local phone for about r200 and add a local ship, but note the local phone will also be "locked" so you won't be able to change carriers should the need arise. local sim cards require a passport for id enabling the purchase. the sim cards cost about r25. you then add credit as you go, which can be purchased from numerous places including the newsstands that dot copacabana and ipanema.

to ask for a telephone recharge card in portuguese.(write it down if necessary).

"tem cartão para cellular de tim" (have card for cellular of tim or claro)

the cards have varying differing amounts, when they realise you don't speak porto they will show you the various cards, the amount of the card is written in large numbers ie for tim, r15, r25, r50.

you will need to purchase the card from the actual telco store to get started. you will need to take the following to get a prepaid chip:

1) your passport
2) your address, any address will do, write it down if you can’t speak porto.

*tim* (local carrier)
tim has a few stores in copacabana, 1 location is:
av n s copacabana 1103b, close to rua djaima ulrich.

they also have a store in rio sul where you have a greater chance of finding someone who speaks english(the large shopping centre in botafago)

to recharge minutes on tim: (may require some porto, or get your hotel staff or friendly gdp to do it for you).
1) dial *222
2) listen to port then press 1 (option um)
3) enter 16 digit code found by scratching off the cover on the recharge card.
4) press 4 to confirm after the numbers are read back to you. the last word you should here is "com successo"

sometimes the card does not work straight up. do not through the card out, keep it and try in a few days, it will work! i do not know why this occurs, it is very brasilian.

*claro* (local carrier)
claro is also another local carrier with coverage over rio. i find tim a little better in that their text messages are compatible with more carriers. however it is an option. there are quite a few stores in copa and ipanema ( 1 on av n s copacabana ). they also have a large store in rio sul shopping center, near the main entrance.

nb: a lot of shops in rio will have someone who can unlock any phone. they will charge up to r50 for this, may be worth it. can be difficult to find a shop who will do it for you though, hence don't bet on finding one quickly. there is one on princess isabel (near leme), 1 or 2 blocks away from avinida atlantica on the left if you are walking from the beach. i have never used this hop but do see there signs all the time.

option 3) rent a mobile phone of one of the apartment rental guys. this is the least hassle way of doing things because it already comes with a prepaid sim card. you can also organise enough credit to get you through the week. the price varies from usd$5-usd$7 per day and most require a deposit of usd$100. a good option for a short term stay only, for longer term stays go for the prepaid sim card option.

gdp calls: despite earning significantly higher wages than their local compatriots, gdp's never have any money, hence they never seem to have their prepaid mobile filled with any credits. if a gdp calls you she may let it ring 2 or 3 times and then hang up. this is a signal to call her back and of course use your credits as opposed to hers. another trick they use is by dialling 9090 (doesn't work on all phones) before the number, this is essentially a collect call. you will know this is happening by hearing a portuguese message being played before your caller comes online. the message is basically saying "do you accept the charges for this call". you can of course hang up at this point or better still use this trick on your unaware gringo friends as revenge for charging red bulls and whisky to your terma key (kman you fucker!).

calling interstate: generally you need to dial 021-area code- number, for example a sau paulo number would be 021-11-xxxx-xxxx , or brasilia 021-61-xxxx-xxxx

as of dec 2006 the was a really good shop/suite that specialised in “desbloqueio de sim lock” (unlocking cell phones) in centro. it is basically at uruguaiana station. the cost varies from r30 to r50, depending on how much they think they can charge you. you can bargain, for me they wanted r50 for my brand new razr, i got it for r40. i can whinge quite well now in porto. address: -

rua uruguaiana no 118, sala 701. ( no 118 refers to the street number, sala number is the room number, it is on the 7th floor.

there is another good one inside the antiques mall, right next to the escalator that leads to lúomo. it is more expensive than the one in centro. they want a minimum of r50.

***internet cafes***
there are numerous internet cafes all over copacabana and ipanema. they have 1 or more likely, several on each block. for the most part they will speak at least a little english. the internet cafes around the generally area of help will speak more english, a lot of gdp's use these cafés as well as a lot live close to help. it is usually r4 per minute, you can buy packages at most places that will save a few bucks if you wish to do this.

***washing clothes***
like a lot of things in brasil you pay for your laundry by the kilo, makes senses i guess. it is also very cheap. look for the lavar kilo places, they are everywhere, you will see the prices quoted in the window. the prices are as follows, you drop your clothes off, they wash it for you and you pick it up the next day or you can have it delivered for the same price (labour is cheap in brasil)

lavar e secar r6 por kilo (wash and dry for r6 per kilo)
lavar e secar e passar r10 por kilo (as above plus ironing)

lavar=wash
secar=dry
passar=iron
e=and

an average wash is about 2 kilos.

***guides***
the only guide that comes up regularly without complaint is gui.

*gui* a really nice guy that i have known for 3 years. speaks perfect english and spanish. he acts more of a personal guide for wealthy individuals or execs and will take you anywhere you want to go, including of course termas, where i have seen him alot. very personalised, professional service and very honest individual, something which is not overly common in rio. gui is the definition of "latin cool", the girls all know him and genuinely like him, i like gui a lot.
( guibolliger@hotmail.com ) rio number : 9306 8076

***carnaval (carnival)***
carnaval occurs all over brazil around february of each year. however, the largest and most famous carnaval occurs in rio de janeiro. rio even has a dedicated stadium for the parade called the sambadome, where approximately 20 schools parade up to 5000 people per school over their alotted 40 minutes or so. this is the show you see on tv each year. each school spends up to $2million on this alone, hence it is serious business. interestly a lot of that money comes from illicit sources including from the owners of the illegal lottery that is everywhere in rio. it is also spectactular. something you should see once in your life. the sambadome is located not far from centro on the opposite side of zona sul.

each year the carnval occurs on different dates. the dates are as follows.

2008 february 2, 3, 4, 5
2009 february 21, 22, 23, 24
2010 february 13, 14, 15, 16

as carnaval is the biggest event of the year in rio, slightly ahead of new years eve, many of the best working girls that are now living in europe come back. adding to this you will see a lot of new talent coming in to rio to take advantage of the huge number of tourists. this will mean the talend around this time can be high, the termas and help are also well stocked with top talent. it will also mean help prices will rise the week of carnival but after that week or before it, the prices will be more or less normal. i prefer to hit town at least 2 weeks to a month after carnival, when the stock of girls is great and the prices are more or less normal. one can see the attitudes getting more back to normal as time passes away from carnaval. there is always a huge pool of talent in rio, just sometimes of the year are better than others.

***travel tips – general***
since retiring i basically travel 12 months of the year and hence like to make everything i carry count. here are some tips to travel lighter.

~ zip lock plastic bags, these are great to put all your shaving cream, moisturiser, toohtpaste etc. it saves against a spill of these things onto your clothes.

~ underpants made of lycra, sometimes you will run out of under wear on your trip. especially when in hot places. i find under pants made of light weight material can be wahsed in the shower and will dry in a matter of hours in a hot climate.

~ quick dry shirts, same thing with light weight shirts, will dry quickly and generally you do not need to iron them much.

~ miniature toiletries, a lot of your toiletries can be purchased in miniature size. everything from shaving cream to moisturiser. much better to take just what you need.

~ voip service, best way to make calls back home is by using a voip service or even skype

***cpf***
originally posted by sperto

you can get a cpf as a tourist. it's a very easy procedure.
1. go to banco do brasil at praca n s da paz in ipanema. fill in an application. pay a small fee.
2. go to receita federal, around the corner. some more questions to be answered.
3. wait for about two weeks. go back to receita federal and pick up your cpf.

mine was posted to my address in rio after about one week.
i had to go twice to the ipanema office before. once to file the aplication and the second time in order to give them the banco do brasil proof that i had paid about 7 reais to them. long wait at the bank though. i guess that if someone goes to the bank first will avoid the second visit.
***getting your passport copy authenticated***

i cannot remember who posted this info, i did not write it, i believe it is correct and would be well worth doing.

if you don't feel well with a simple copy of your passport or other document go to any cártorio (register office) and make there a "cópia autenticada" (attested copy) like the brazilians have.

they do it for you immediately. it takes only few minutes. i can't remember how much i paid for it but it was only few r$.

cártorio in copacabana,
av. nossa senhora de copacabana, 1181 - loja, ´´a´´

cártorio in ipanema,
rua visconde de pirajá, 82

for cártorios in other districts or cities you can search here,
www.mj.gov.br/cartoriointerconsulta/index.html

[Bubba Boy]

==============================================
The Bubba report, updated February, 2007. Part 8 - Favelas.

***Favelas***
Around 25% of Rios 12m souls will live in a slum or "favela". They are generally built on the slopes, sometimes on the best land and are everywhere in Rio. Even the best areas will neighbour a favela. The favelas have always fascinated me, being from a relatively affluent western country I find it hard to imagine how anybody can survive on $25 per week, the answer to this question is "with great difficulty". The associated poverty causes crime, much of it intertwined with the drug industry. This is not to say everybody that lives in a favela is a criminal, far from it, the maid that cleans your hotel room will most likely go home to a favela at night. Most inhabitants are honest people although you cannot say all are "working" as unemployment can be as high as 35%.

The social structure in most favelas are intertwined by the local drug dealers, with the Head Honcho acting as the mayor. In the small favelas there is usually only one way in and one way out, hence the dealers and there hired hands generally sit atop the hill to watch when the police enter the slum. The dealers and their arms generally keep the peace although when rivalry breaks out for control bloodshed is often the result. It is very common to see and hear bullets flying around at night from your hotel room. I once was awoken at about 4am in my hotel room in Copacabana to some serious gun fire coming from the favela, which I guess is about 800meters from the beach. The gun fire continued for about 45 minutes with varying intensity until 3 police choppers went screaming over my room. A few seconds later canon fire was pounding the top of the hill and eventually all went quiet. Apparently the police choppers follow the beach up to the point where they are about to attack, while remaining lower than the buildings and hence cannot be seen by the favela dwellers, once they reach their desired point they hit the gas and scream towards the trouble and open fire. Do innocent people die? I would assume so. This is why you do not really want to come in contact with the police, they are poorly trained, corrupt and trigger happy. Not a good mix. Apparently half of all violent deaths in Rio are at the hands of the Police.

Never ever ever wander into a favela by yourself. The entrances are heavily patrolled by the gangs that control the favela, you will be noticed and will be approached by someone to ask what you are doing in there. I cannot say what the outcome will be when you are confronted, it is not a situation I would want to be in. You will be relatively safe when invited and accompanied by a resident of the favela but it is probably not the thing to do on your first trip, you are basically at the mercy of your invitee and would want to trust that person 100%. Its also not a good idea to hang around at the entrance. If a girl invites you to her house ask her where it is, if it is along way away from Zona Sul then it might be a good idea to give it a miss, unless of course you know Rio very well.

You can take organised Favela tours, usually to Rocinha, Rios largest slum with around 150,000 inhabitants. The tour did seem a little sanitised for me on my visit as the guide directs you to the more positive aspects of the community, while neglecting the less savoury aspects, which of course interested me. However we were accompanied by a few trainee guides and managed to get the inside gossip out of these surprising shy individuals, we even slipped away from the main guide with them primarily to annoy the lead guide, yes I know, I am a child! Now many locals would argue that Rocinha is becoming more or less a "middle class" area with running water, electricity and even Internet connections in some homes, and hence does not depict a true "favela". Well not long after my tour in 04, the favela was basically at war as 2 drug lords vied for power. Bodies were piling up for a few weeks, the tours were cancelled due to no guarantee of safety, peace was eventually restored. Hence, it is real enough for me. You can do a google search for favela tour and you will get the contact details for the tours.

Before making a trip to Rio do yourself a favour and get the movie "City of God" or in Portuguese "Cidade de Deus" (comes with English subtitles). It is an excellent movie in its own right, but also shows the interactions within a favela. It is probably one of the best known Brasilian movies to make it into the western world. The story is set in an area which is actually called Cidade de Deus, it is inland from Barra Da Tijuca, bordering on Jacarepagua. Apparently it is based on a real story, however it could be about any of the 600 odd favelas in Rio. There is also a TV series now, Cidade dos Homens, I have the 2003 & 2004 series, there may be more. Not sure if there is English sub titles or not.

A post by me:

A favela is a complicated social being with set rules that are enforced by the ruling "bandidos" (basically heavily armed gangs), that are highly organised, complete with walkie talkie communications. A heavily armed escort would do no good, there is one way in and one way out. 2 or 3 armed escorts would not make it out. In the big slums, up to a 100 Police go in together and stuggle to get out. What you and I would think is logical in a favela may not be that logical. For example:

There is no fighting allowed within a favela. If you are found fighting, you will essentially be brought before the ruling gang and dealt with accordingly, often quite harshly.

There is definitely no hooking allowed within the favela. If a local woman is even known to be plying her trade in Copacabana and the wrong person finds out, she may well be dragged before the ruling gang and have her head shaved. Pretty hard to work with zero hair!

Of course, like most things in Brasil, it depends on who you know, a well connected person can get away without following the rules. There is a lot more to favelas than just a slum.

Whatever you do, do not enter a favela unless you are invited by a person that lives there and then only if you know them well. Do not even loiter around the entrance unless you know what you are doing.

A post by El Austriaco April 2006,

El Austriaco says - Both in 2002 and 2004, I had considered doing the favela tours advertised by a number of companies in Rio de Janeiro. In 2002, time prevented me from doing one as I only spent a couple of days there, and in 2004, after careful research and an onslaught of news reports about ongoing warfare between Rocinha and Vidigal, two adjacent favelas in the Zona Sul, I decided to hold off for the moment being. This year, since the overall situation seemed to be much calmer in Rocinha, I decided to take the plunge with Marcelo Armstrong’s outfit, the original organizer of favela tours (http://www.favelatour.com.br/rio_de_janeiro_tours.htm, phone number 055 (21) 3322-2727, cell phone 55 (21) 9989-0074/ 9772-1133.

Tour cost was R$ 75.00, set up by the front-desk of my hotel. The tour is held twice a day, one starting at 9:00 AM, the other at 02:00 PM. I had booked the morning one, but Marcelo called my hotel at 08:00 AM to cancel for a lack of participants and wanted to include me in the afternoon. No problem with me. The tour was done in a minivan and conducted entirely in English. The tour guide’s English (Fernando) was good.

During this three-hour tour, you will visit two different favelas: Rocinha, considered the largest favela in South America with its estimated 180,000 residents, and Vila Canoas, much smaller with about 2,000 people living there. Both are located in close proximity of each other, with Rocinha stretching from Gávea all the way over the hill down to São Conrado. Vila Canoas is located more towards the Pedra da Gávea end of São Conrado, just past one of the most exclusive golf courses in Rio de Janeiro. You will spend about an hour in each, the rest is spent getting you and the other participants to and from your Zona Sul hotels. The first stop is in Rocinha, which you enter on the road up to the American school in Gávea. You will stop three times within Rocinha: the first time to look at (and hopefully buy) some local artwork and take in the view over the Lagoa de Rodrigo Freitas, the second time to go to the top of a residential building on the other side of the hill for a view of the Morro Dois Irmãos and Rocinha stretching all the way down to the exclusive residential buildings of São Conrado, and one last time on the main street of Rocinha to buy snacks. In Vila Canoas, you will actually enter the favela by foot and walk through its narrow streets, and you will visit the local school, Para Ti, which is partially funded by money generated through these tours. Throughout this time, the guide will roughly explain the history of favelas and their political/ economic context. I am sure that many will be surprised that a favela like Rocinha, for example, is NOT the lawless open-air crime scene as which official authorities in Rio try to portray it. As a matter of fact, favelas like Rocinha and Vila Canoas have a decidedly working-class feeling to them and might actually already be pushing middle class status. It sure is a fascinating glimpse into a world most Rio travelers never get to see.

Here's my quibble: a glimpse, for sure, but nothing more. Marcelo’s stated objective is to change the public perception of favelas, and as such, he succeeds. Still, while the explanations regarding favelas were true and accurate, I still felt they were incomplete. For example, while it is certainly true that, with drug lords running a tight ship here, a favela like Rocinha might quite possibly be safer for its residents than the asfalto below, I was seriously missing any information on how the same drug lords do enforce violations of their self-proclaimed laws (which might be a harsh reminder of the flip side of life that is ever so present in favelas, too). There was also NO information on how different criminal organizations engage in open warfare to secure control of neighboring favelas (something that has led to the cancellation of favela tours in the past, since in that case, nobody can assure your safety, whether favela tours are approved by the drug lords or not). Nothing was mentioned about the fact that both Rocinha and Vila Canoas might not be representative of favelas overall (with more than 600 favelas in Rio alone, and most of them located in the Zona Norte, there actually might be no such thing as a “representative” favela.) In other words, in the end, I felt that the presentation of favelas and role of drug rings in them was somewhat glossed over and romanticized. Something like a favela-light experience. But anyhow.

Also, during this tour, interaction with the locals was not exactly encouraged. In particular, while we were told that “we were very welcome there”, we were always advised to always ask for permission to take pictures of any single person in particular since “there were people around who sure didn’t want to be photographed by anyone”. I bet.

So should you do a favela tour? Absolutely. The panoramic views are stunning (e.g. from Vila Canoas, you have a fantastic view of Pedra da Gávea and the hang-gliding ramp at Pedra Bonita), and the social contrasts are just mind-blowing. From Rocinha, you directly look down on the rooftop swimming pools of some of the richest people in Rio, and in Vila Canoas, the entry into the favela is just across the street from buildings that could roughly be described as multi-million dollar homes in any US city. I can’t really imagine a more vivid reminder that the have´s and have-not’s in Rio are sometimes separated by much less than a stone’s throw. So for anyone with an interest beyond Rio pussy and beaches and with three hours to spare one morning or afternoon, I definitely recommend it.

One last thing that was confirmed during this tour: while this tour provides you with some basic information on the inner workings of favelas, it is definitely NOT safe to enter any favela on your own just to wander around and explore. Now, getting invited by someone living there is another story altogether. The night clerk at the hotel I am staying has been wanting to take me to a churrasco at his place for some time now, and he has been living in Rocinha for years. I’ll report back how it goes. EA

[Bubba Boy]

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The Bubba report, updated February, 2007. Part 9 - Security, Police and Scams

Tips:

Firstly always be aware of your drink in any place in Latin America. It is not common but drugging does happen. Never let a stranger touch your drink or you could wake up 2 days later with a splitting head ache and everything gone. It takes a full week to get over the affects of the drugs.

**When leaving Zona Sul always carry your passport**

If you ever leave Copa at night, always take your passport. As a gringo you are required under Brasilian law to carry it at all times. If you head down to Barra for the night definitely take it, if you don’t have it and you are roadblocked by the Police they will want a bribe. Do not offer any Police a bribe, if they want one they will ask you. I would prefer to go to the Police station rather than pay a bribe.

A friend of mine got stung for R200 coming back from Villa Mimosa. He didn't have his passport, the cops acted very concerned and knew they had an easy target, he shit himself and caved. He has been to Rio many times but never learns. Another friend, a very experienced Rio monger got stopped on Ave Niemayer in a road block, cost him R10, he speaks perfect Portuguese and he knows his shit, hence the difference in the "price" he paid.

A possible defence would be to not speak any Portuguese and discourage anyone from trying to translate for you. Hope that the police lose interest and move on. They really don't want to take you to the station, would cut into their time on the street and hence limit their opportunity to make cash. Either way it is not a good position to be in.

Second tip, if a Policeman wants to search your pockets. Try to get everything out yourself, I don’t want a policeman to put his hands in my pocket, that would be a good planting opportunity.

**The shoe shine scam - the shit flingers**

When walking along the beach side walk watch out for the "shit on you shoe" scam. This happens mostly in Copacabana, around about where Help is located. It involves a kid placing a "shit like" oil based substance on your shoe, then the kid will come up beside you and offer to clean it off. Amazingly they are very good at placing it on you with you knowing. They will try to charge you as much as they can get away with, think R10-R30 if you look particularly green. I have been hit once, I waved my finger at him which is the Brasilian way of saying "I know what you are up to" them waved him away, when he came back I basically yelled at him to go away in Portuguese. This trick sometimes involves an accomplice who will rob you, particularly when you get hit on the side streets leading up to the beach. A little bit of detergent and paper towel gets the muck off. Never ever stop and let the kid clean it, if he is persistent act irritated, wave you finger and head and walk off fast. Whenever I see a show shine guy now on the beach side of Avinida Atlantica I look for his accomplice, there is always 2 of them. You will notice them to, searching out for green tourists.

A good rule of thumb when in Rio, if anybody tries to approach you on the street ignore them and keep walking, even pick up the pace. It will usually involve a scam or they will be slowing you down so someone else will come up and grab whatever they can get. Even little kids that may look cute will do this, just ignore them, enough of them together will be distracting enough for them to go through your pockets.

**Avinida Atlantica, Copacabana is one of the most dangerous streets at night**

Every problem I have had in Rio, and there has been a few, has been on Avinida Atlantica or within a block or 2 of Help, all at night or sun down. The local bandidos know where the tourists are and that’s where they head. I have been nearly robbed several times- one time came to blows- they didn't get anything and we didn't get hurt - lucky there was no weapons, they had the numbers we had the size. They beat a hasty retreat. I was angry with myself being stupid enough to walk into them, that I had let my guard down because there were lots of people around at 9pm. My rule is if I can't see weapons they won't get anything from me, I had a troubled youth and hence am quite ok with a little bit of sporadic violence, if they do have visible weapons, then they can have anything I am stupid enough to be carrying at the time. A first time visitor should really offer no resistance to any attempted robbery. Everybody should carry only a small amount of cash in their pockets, hide the rest somewhere else. The K man is a big fan of “shoe money”.

Another time my same friend was on his way to the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy with one of the instructors. He was again approached by 4 thugs that asked for his money, he simply pointed and said "speak about that with my buddy", the instructor basically said "come on guys, you don't want to do something stupid now". They fled quickly horrified that they had offended some one from Gracie. The point of the story is that the thugs are really not that hard, the judgement one needs to make is if they are carrying weapons or not and of course if it is worth the hassle.

http://www.gracieacademy.com/

*A post by Euro 100, ISG*

Euro 100 says: "Here was the plan: take a stroll down the Av. Atlantica on the side with all of the street cafes and find a place for a light meal, hang out for a while, and then head to Help at 11:30. It was not to be.

I had walked past the Rio International hotel when a scummy-looking little guy asks me for the time. I motion to my wrist and show him I have no watch, keep walking. About ten steps later I see a guy walking over from some trees and keeping pace with me, narrowing the sideways distance between us until he gets just two meters away from me. This distracts my attention sufficiently so that I do not see yet another guy who is coming from the other direction and heading straight for me. That guy pulls a knife and motions it towards my throat, grabs the front of my shirt with his other hand.

Military training takes over, and despite my intention to just hold still and let them take my wallet, my right hand grabs his knife-hand by the wrist and bends it back. This guys is surprisingly weak, and for a moment I entertain the thought of ramming his own knife into his underbelly. But then the other guy who walked alongside me is all over me, plus the guy who asked for the time is on my back. Two more guys appear from nowhere. One holds my free arm back, the other searches my pockets.

All of these guys are probably in their early twenties and a head shorter than me. Since I still hold on to the knife-hand, I calculate the odds of beating the shit out of all of them. None of them feels tough, but then again I am not the black belt I used to be any more. And I worry that there may be other knifes. So, despite being high on adrenaline, my rational brain wins, I just hold still and let them go through my pockets. They ignore the cigarettes and matches, and only take the wallet. Less then 10 seconds after it started it is over, and they run for the shadows.

Now I realize that my daily preparations were well worth my time. I had taken a crappy old wallet to Brazil for exactly such an occasion. I had only about 70R in the wallet and nothing else, no ID, no credit card, nothing. My credit card and ID are hidden in a secret little pocket that came with my khakis and is located right under my belt. I had $50 stashed in the cigarette box, to change at Help. And of course my belt itself has an inside zipper with $200 emergency cash folded up in it. So the robbers only got 10% of what they could have gotten out of me." Euro 100.

I have heard this same story so many times, just the name of the person telling it varies. Funnily enough I was actually walking on the same street as Euro, at the same time, could have been me.

***Help or General GDP Scam (also appears in Help section)***

A few GDP's in Help will know and have the cell phone of a local Policeman. A popular scam, which is not common and will generally only be tried on a green newbie is as follows. The girl will go up to the apartment, then start yelling over basically nothing, causing noise, which in turn will cause a problem with your neighbours and ultimately you. She will then accuse the newbie of doing something inappropriate and call the Police. The Police she actually calls will be known to her and hence won't be on your side. When they turn up they will try and get as much cash out of you as possible, threatening jail etc, in short if you do talk to them and your Portuguese is limited you will be in deep. You really don't want to speak to the Police under these circumstances. If it does happen to you, I would turn off the lights and just not open the door to them. They cannot legally enter (for what that is worth). If I could leave the apartment for a few hours and get the fuck out of there, it would also be a good option. The best solution is to avoid the problem in the first place, SCREEN ANY GDP HEAVILY.

*A post by Rxhammer*

The hammer says:

I just got back from a 8 day trip to Rio with a buddy of mine and we had a bad situation with a GDP in our apartment. We came back from Help with 2 girls. My friends girl, which we met in front of Help (after midnight) and did not "screen" very well. She had one beer before entering Help and 1/2 a cocktail inside. She introduced me to my girl once we entered Help. We stayed about 45 minutes then left for the apartment. I had agreed to a couple of hours with my girl, had a great time and she left. While TCB with my girl my friend came to my room and said his girl had "passed out" (after 1 & 1/2 drinks ???) and he had not touched her. He had voiced some concerns about a "bad vibe" with her but I had rushed him home so I could take care of my "hottie". BIG MISTAKE !! She slept til noon when he decided to get her up and out. She showered and joined us in the living room. I then offered her 50R for lunch and a cab since she had not "earned" anything the night before(I thought this to be GENEROUS). She became extremely upset and demanded 300R !! We both laughed and told her to get the fuck out. Now the problem, she will not leave !! I feel like beating the shit outta her but cooler heads prevail. We were scheduled to leave that afternoon so we decided to just start packing and prepare to leave. She doesn't budge. I losing my temper bigtime by now. She's yelling and screaming, knocking things off the wall, so I decide to just grab her and physically throw her ass out but she's a tough little piece of favela trash and fights back. My friend steps out to the apartment lobby to see if the doorman will help(our door opened into the first floor lobby). To sum up, I got her to move toward the door and when my friend distracted her I grabbed her from behide and shoved her ass right out the open front door of the apartment and locked it behind her !!! FUCK !! I glossed over the details such as when she tried to go for a knife in the kitchen sick or when she tried to hit me over the head with an empty wine bottle. Battle royal with that little scam artist !!!! Anyway, after we got her out she left the building not to be seen again. Oh, and we also left for about 3 hours so as to let things die down and to make sure we weren't around if she came back with the cops. We returned later, grabbed our bags and left.

Moral of the story....SCREEN YOUR WOMEN !!!! BTW, I'm no newbie with 25+ trips to Rio, I just got a little careless and didn't listen to my friends concerns. She was trying to scam him but once she's IN THE APARTMENT you may be fucked in a "bad" way !!!

Be safe, Hammer.

PS she didn't get the 50R either !! rxhammer

**Rio De Janeiro Safety Primer by El Austriaco**

El Austriaco says:
Just came back from Rio in mid-October after a somewhat accidental three-and-a-half months trip, and since, it’s been interesting comparing my notes and experiences with some of the trip reports and security caveats in this section. So here it goes, my personal primer for someone new to Rio:

Keeping a Low Profile

Dress down, like the locals. In particular, this means no jewelry, gold, or expensive watches – not even fake ones. Avoid T-shirts imprinted in foreign languages that may easily identify you as a tourist. No expensive brand apparel. If you’re in Copa trying to impress the girls by how cool you dress, think about it twice. Number one, there’s no need to (it’s all P4P, anyway, and it will only drive up the price). Go to one of the downtown markets (like Urugaiana, right outside the Uruguiana metro station), buy local T-shirts (soccer shirts, for example), havaianas, shorts, a cheap plastic watch, and sunglasses. Once locals start commenting that you exactly dress like a local, you know you’re on the right track. I can’t even recall how many tourists I have seen in Copacabana that I could immediately qualify as a foreigner just based on how they dressed. It’s inexpensive to dress like the locals. And it greatly adds to your safety. No reason not to do it.

Watch the locals, act like the locals. Can’t recall how many tourists I’ve spotted even before I saw them based on just how loud they were – especially Americans. Of course, speaking the local language rather than English helps a lot in that department, but just lowering your volume in line with the local standard helps a lot, too - with or without Portuguese language skills. Doesn’t make you an adopted Brazilian, but may just be another element contributing to your personal safety.

Don’t boast about how rich you are, and don’t show it. Don’t mention how much you make, how successful you are, what you can afford, etc., in any language. Again, in Copacabana, there’s no need to. If you want to flash your cash, go elsewhere. Copacabana attracts thugs because rich people live there. Tourists are very rich by local standards, and many are relatively inexperienced, also, again by local standards. You might already be attracting lots of attention by the wrong people – you want to encourage even more?

Money Matters

ATMs. Only open until 10 PM (except at the airport; I have also heard of, albeit not used, a 24-hour ATM in Copacabana, but you can only get a 100 Reais per transaction, apparently). Do your transactions during daytime hours only. If for whatever reason, you’re in a bind and have to go after sundown, don’t go alone, or at least have a cab driver waiting for you. Also, go to different locations at different times at irregular intervals, just not to become too predictable. In Copacabana, Citibank at Figueiredo Magalhaes/A.N.S. de Copacabana (right next to the Blockbuster) works just fine, and every Banco do Brasil along A.N.S. de Copacabana has at least one or two which accept international cards - I can specifically vouch for US cards; I have used them at three different ones. HSBC also has a few machines that are linked to the international network. Banco do Brasil on Siqueira Campos has also worked for me. One more note regarding ATMs: don’t ever accept any help from strangers when operating an ATM – they are just as user-friendly as anywhere else, the menu is available in English, there’s no need for any assistance. If your card gets swallowed, call your company IMMEDIATELY and inform them not to authorize any transactions until you call them back in person to say you’ve recovered your card. Even better: avoid using ATMs on the weekends, or whenever banks are not open and can not be contacted right there and then. Cards do get swallowed in Rio – I’ve experienced it twice.

If possibly, bring at least some Reais from home. If that’s too much of a hassle, bring a couple of hundred dollars as an emergency fund – many tourist places will change them in case you’re in a bind.

Dealing with People

Don't take strangers you've just met back to your hotel room. Say that your hotel does not allow visitors and go to a love motel. Everybody you’re likely going to take back with you knows exactly where to find them. If they don’t, chances are they have ulterior motives. Even better, don’t even mention which hotel you’re staying at. Do your own research and suggest your own love motels. For Help and Meia Pataca, there is one on A. N. S. de Copacabana that seems to be close (the name eludes me at this time), and for Balcony, it’s Hotel Lido (35 Reais for 2 hours; Rua Ronald de Carvalho) or Diplomata (right next to the tunnel to Rio Sul on Princesa Isabel, on the Copacabana side; 50 Reais for 2 hours). Just don’t get cheap on this by wondering why you should you pay for another hotel if your place is companion-friendly, anyway. If you’re in Copacabana playing, you’re paying a lot of money anyway, by Brazilian standards (not by American ones), so the extra charges should not do any major damage – while, at the same time, greatly increase your safety level. And if you still do take someone back to your hotel (like for the TLN experience), just be very very careful, and use the safe at all times for stuff you can’t afford to lose.

Do not leave your drink unattended anywhere. Before you go to the bathroom, finish your drink, and order a new one once you return. Boa Noite Cinderella (Good Night Cinderella) has been documented very well, and it still works like a charm in Rio. Just don’t accept any drinks offered by strangers, or any chewing gum, candy, or even cigarettes - they might contain quite powerful drugs. The way it works is more or less like this: once you’ve passed out, you will require assistance by someone to take you back to your hotel, and this seemingly nice person will coincidentally have access to your personal belongings while you are out stone-cold. This trick seems so old that I actually wondered how anyone could still fall for it. Then I saw it happen to two tourists at my hotel the last week I was in Rio. They lost some 700 Reais in the process, and one of the two got pretty beaten up, too (apparently from a fall he took). This is not an urban myth, this is real.

Simply ignore the vendors. Street vendors can be pushy and annoying at times, although I’ve seen worse in other parts of the world, both in terms of sheer numbers and persistence. In most cases, just ignoring them in the first place and avoiding eye contact will do the trick. If they insist, just keep ignoring them, and ultimately, they’ll leave you alone.

Areas

Stay in the Zona Sul. Unless you are going with someone you REALLY REALLY can trust. There are really only two situations I can think about that require you to go to the Zona Norte. 1. To get to and from the airport, take a cab. 2. To go to a soccer game at Maracanã (optional of course, but such a cool experience that it is pretty much a must in my book), take a guided tour, which can be booked at any travel agency and in any hotel (between USD 15 and 20, roughly). Done it about 5 times, no problem whatsoever. One more thing about Maracanã: if it’s a Rio team against a non-Rio team, wear the local team’s jersey, or something less conspicuous. If it’s a Rio derby (like the (in)famous Fla-Flu), don’t wear any team jersey, or perhaps a national team shirt, or something entirely neutral. When I saw Fla-Flu, I had a Flamengo jersey sitting smack in the middle of all the Fluminense supporters. Rivalries between specific soccer teams run very deep in Rio, so don’t get caught in the middle. Don’t risk being seated in the wrong section – it can get rough at times. So keeping a low profile applies here, too.

Think twice or more about taking favela tours: apparently, there have been good reviews of organized favela tours (I only know about tours of Rocinha and another, smaller favela), and the first time I was in Rio in 2002, they were widely advertised, although I didn’t have time to take one. This time, when I was really interested, they were no longer widely advertised - my hotel had a sign saying that they had been suspended indefinitely. Ultimately, I did see occasional advertisements for them, so I can’t positively confirm that they are no longer running; I never did call any them. The 3+ months I spent in Rio this time, however, I can definitely confirm major news stories in reputable media (O Globo, Jornal do Brasil) about major police crackdowns in Rocinha, shootouts between rival gangs, and an outright gang war between Vidigal and Rocinha since the Easter week, more or less, all of them resulting in multiple deaths. I am kind of an adventurous guy, but considering this information, I just couldn’t convince myself to go – for the moment being. Just last week, I read about another incident between rival gangs in Vidigal and Rocinha which required police intervention, as a result of which Avenida Niemeyer (linking Sao Conrado and Leblon) was closed down for an hour. Source: Folha Online, which has a special section on "Tension in Rio" (of course, in Portuguese only: http://www1.folha.uol.com.br/folha/...04/traficonorio).

Don’t ever ever even consider going into a favela by yourself. As a matter of fact, the favela might be giving you a first taste of itself in more ways than you think anyway in Copacabana or in the Zona Sul: in the form of aggressive sellers, pushy girls, thieves, robbers, and drug dealers roaming the streets and the water-front. Or simply due to their vicinity. This time, I stayed in the Bairro Peixoto area of Copacabana, a very nice, very family-oriented, residential neighborhood. Still, I could hear occasional gunshots from the close-by favelas, announcing arrivals and departures of drug shipments or police incursions (as explained to me by the locals). As reported in a major news story back in August, a main thoroughfare had to be closed for a couple of hours in Copacabana as a result of an hour-long shootout between cops and bandidos, and a waiter was hit by a stray bullet. Don’t even think about it.

Transportation

Learn how to use the Metro. It’s easy (there’s really only one line where you want to go), inexpensive (2 Reais per ride), very safe, and gets you pretty much wherever you need to go as a tourist (Zona Sul) at a fraction of a cab rate. If you’ve ever taken a subway anywhere, anytime, there’s nothing easier than using the Rio metro.

Cabs. After dark, always use cabs, no matter how short the distance. One of the ex-pats I know in Rio would always use a cab from Help to go to his apartment at night, which is no more than a 2 minute walk away. So if you’re worried about the extra few Reais you might spend, don’t go to Rio in the first place. In hotels, have the reception arrange a cab for you. In the street, take only licensed cabs, no pirate ones, and always insist on using a meter (taximetro) Not using a meter is illegal in Rio, and cabbies can lose their license over it. If a cabbie doesn’t want to use one, just walk away and hail down another cab. Ask whether they will use a meter ( O Metro) BEFORE you get into a cab - don’t just get into the cab and assume that the driver will use it. I have had several arguments with drivers about this: once, I got out, but the driver took off before my girl could get out completely, slamming her in the middle of the street (fortunately, she ended up with nothing more than a bruised knee) The second time, the driver took me to my hotel, then got upset and tried to physically attack me - until my girl floored him with a nice upper cut. The thing is, not using a licensed cab that uses a meter in Rio is not only more expensive, but also quite possibly more dangerous. No reason whatsoever to do it.

Do not take regular buses alone. The metro is very convenient, and regular taxis are quite inexpensive, especially when traveling with several people. After hearing countless stories from locals about buses being held up, I just gave up on the concept. I have taken collective vans to São Conrado and Barra during the day, and not alone, and had no problems. To do so, however, you have to at least speak a smacking of Portuguese.

Don’t rent a car. Considering the cost of Metro tickets, the convenience of cabs, the relatively short walking distances within Copacabana, and the ready availability of cheap excursions to other areas you might want to visit (Búzios, Parati, Angra dos Reis, Petrópolis, etc.), there’s just no need for it – and I never have. Throw in the fact that many drivers in Rio believe themselves to be the latest reincarnation of the late Ayrton Senna, and you get my point. This includes cab drivers, too - I've been involved in two minor cab accidents. Just to illustrate the insanity of traffic.

Don’t jaywalk. Traffic in Rio can be quite scary at times, and I’ve seen incredible displays of aggressive driving and near-hits of others cars and pedestrians. In particular, I’ve always found it quite a challenge to cross Avenida Atlântica, between getting across the bicycle/roller-skating lane and then stand on a slim ledge waiting for the light to turn green. Some intersections have crossings only on some sides, not all of them. Be careful.

Scams

If someone seemingly accidentally spills something on you, and ever so kindly offers to clean up the resulting mess, just walk away – there may be someone waiting to rob you while you’re distracted. This is another well-documented set-up (including on this board).

Overcharging is common in restaurants, so always check your bill. If you think something is amiss, just ask for the menu again, verify prices, and point out the error. More likely than not, they will quickly fix the error. Sometimes, it might actually be just an innocent error – many waiters are really bad a math, or unorganized, and yes, they do make mistakes in your favor, too. Not often, but still. Also, it's common to automatically include a 10% tip in checks, so there's no need to tip extra. BTW, this 10% tip is NOT compulsory - so if you're unhappy with the service, there's nothing they can do if you're unwilling to pay it.

Police Matters

Carry along a photocopy of your passport, including your entry card, in case you are asked to show some ID. Some Rio ex-pats have told me that they get a copy certified at a local notary’s office for a minimal charge. Except for banks, this is accepted everywhere – including by the police. Sounds good to me.

If you get stopped in a police blitz, don’t panic. Blitzes happen often, mostly late at night on weekends, and preferably on roads that are known as routes for drug trafficking; I’ve also seen several coming from downtown, in the Flamengo area. Once, I got stopped in São Conrado while traveling in a cab. There were at least three police cars present, with a minimum of six police officers. The area was well-lit, and the entire search of the cab and my person was done in the presence of at least two cops and witnesses at the same time. Everything out in the open, very legal, no problem whatsoever.

Although the Rio police is reputed to be very corrupt, in case there seems to be some sort of trouble with them, do not offer a bribe, which could make things much much worse for you. Cops that are looking for a quick hand-out are generally rather open about offering a quick fix and will take the first step in asking for the cervejinha (tip). Once, I was stopped at night, after attending a concert, in a cab at Ilha do Governador, out by the airport, in a pretty dark street. There was only one police car, only two cops, and they insisted on talking to me separately from the girl that was with me, then proceeded to interview her, with me waiting in the car. As she later told me, they alleged that my copy of the passport was not good enough, and that they would have to fine me. She said well, let’s go to the next police station to sort it out. They quickly offered to just forget about the matter with a small tip, she said no, let’s go to the next police station. They said OK, you keep half of his fine, she said no, let’s go to the next police station. Didn’t pay anything, and they let us go, ultimately. Compare this to the legal blitz described above, and you’ll clearly see the difference.

If you can’t possibly afford to lose something, don’t bring it on your trip. You’ll be surprised how little you need it if you don’t have it with you.

If you absolutely have to bring something on a trip, and losing it represents a major, major hassle, it belongs in the safety box of your hotel room. Use the safe at all times, and make sure you know exactly where the key is – again, at all times.

If the shit hits the fan and you are approached by some criminal, try and keep calm. Don’t fight back - he or she may be armed, on drugs, or become violent fairly easily. Whatever you have on you, just give it up. You certainly have so much more to lose than he or she does. Just ain’t worth it.

Don't get involved with the drug scene, even if you believe you know what you're doing. Rio is a big, major drug-trafficking center, and in all likelihood, you don’t know what you’re doing. And getting drunk to the point of losing control also isn’t exactly a grand idea, either.

Do not take along more cash than you need. Most restaurants and stores in Copacabana take CCs, anyway, and you can use your debit card at selected banks (partial list posted above).

Do carry a little bit of cash on you at all times, however, even if you don’t think you’ll need it, just in case you’re being robbed. At least, there’s something that you can give a potential robber. 50 Reais should more than suffice.

Avoid dark or off-the-beaten-track areas where you’re alone – especially at night. It doesn’t get more common sense than this, but just to be on the safe side, I thought I’d repeat it here.

If you’re walking, walk with a sense of purpose as if you knew where you are going to. Even better: know where you’re going. Get a good map and familiarize somewhat with your whereabouts. Get your bearings. This also works surprisingly well with cab drivers when you’re able to give them specific instructions on how to get somewhere rather than just mentioning an address. And you won’t get ripped off.

Don't carry your camera swinging from your hand - wear shoulder straps. Even better: carry it in a local shopping bag, and flash it as little as possible.

Only carry cash and cards, and no wallet at all. If you have to carry your wallet for whatever reason, keep it in your front pocket at all times.

To sum things up: Rio is a big city in Latin America, and as such, it has big problems. While there's very little you can do in terms of how safe Rio is for everyone, there's a whole lot you can do to make it very safe for YOU in particular while you are down there. In other words, how the safety issues which certainly exist in Rio will affect your personal experience ultimately depend on you. Hope this helps!

My two Brazilian centavos...El Austriaco

[Bubba Boy]

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The Bubba report, updated February, 2007. Part 10 - General Tourist stuff.

This may surprise many of you but there is, actually, non mongering things to do in Rio De Janeiro. Now because you told everybody back home you are going to Rio to "experience the culture and see the sights" you will have will actually have to go out and see the touristy things and to take some pics. In all seriousness, it is a very beautiful city geographically and is well worth going out seeing it.

I have listed the 4 must do tourist activities. There are of course many more sights to see, but that is not the focus of this report. If you are in Rio for a week you should at least go out and see the 4 listed below.

***Must do #1. Corcovado, The Statue of Christ (Cristo Redentor)***

You simply must just go up and see the stature of Christ. It is very impressive to stand atop one of the most famous sites in the world and look down on the beautiful city of sin below.

From line of site it is only about 5 miles from Copacabana, but because it is on top of a mountain, to get there, you must go a around-about way. Hence, no matter which way you go, it will take about 30 minutes to get there from Copa/Ipanema.

Options to get there.

Normal or Radio taxi: Will require about 90-120 minutes, a hotel can arrange a Radio taxi which will be more comfortable but more expensive. You could simply grab a cab off the street and head up there. You can negotiate at rate upfront with the driver, allow about R35 per hour - max. If he uses the meter he will driver so slowly you would be better off walking. You will also have to pay for entrance to the national park, around R5 per person, taxi driver is free.

Taxi/Trem: You can catch a taxi to the trem point and head up that way. The trem is a rickety old thing but worth it for something different. R35 per person. The best view is had from the right side of the trem, not overly important, but it does offer better photo opportunities.

Bus/Trem: You can catch a bus to the trem starting point and catch that.

Tip1. Don't plan ahead a definite day to see the stature. It is quite high (700meters) and hence gets covered in clouds quite often. Hence, before you go up, have a look from the street what the cloud situation is like. You can see the statue or at least the general direction from a number of points around copa/ipanema. When you are confident it will be clear head straight up.

Tip2. Due to its height take some warm clothing. It will be about 15C (30F) colder up there than at ground level. When you add in wind chill it can be even colder. If you are taking a local girl up, make doubly sure she has warm clothing, they get colder than gringos because they really never get to experience cold weather and they never think ahead.

***Must do #2. Sugar Loaf (PÃO de AÇÚCAR)***

A lot of people confuse Corcovado and PÃO de AÇÚCAR (sugar loaf). They are similar in that they are both atop large granite outcrops and offer great views of the city. They are both worth a visit. Sugar Loaf is much easier to get to and because it is not quite as high (400m versus 700m), it does not get affected by cloud cover as frequently.

It is actually 2 granite crops connected by 2 cable cars. You catch one car to the first outcrop, hang around, take some pics and then when you are ready get on the second cable car to take you to the top. For James Bonds fans, in the movie "Moonraker", 007 battles with "jaws" on this cable car. I believe it was built at the turn of the century.

It is located one small beach up from Copacabana. It is a R12 cab ride from Copacabana which will take you past Rio Sul, or about R16 from Ipanema as you have to go through Copa. You could of course catch a Bus to Rio Sul shopping centre and walk (about 20minutes) if you wish to save a few bucks. When catching a cab back to Copacabana/Ipanema walk out of the car park and onto the street proper and flag a cab. The cabs that wait for you in the actual car park are special "PÃO de AÇÚCAR" (quite clearly written on the side of the car) cabs and because they are so special they do not use the meter. I believe they have a fixed chart of fares, but it works out about 2 times as expensive as a normal cab.

Tip1. Again take some warm clothes just in case. It can get chilly, particularly when the wind blows. Tickets up are about R30 per person.

Tip2. They sometimes setup a night club half way up Sugar Loaf, I am not sure how you go about finding about about when, but logically it is at night. Worth seeing once.

***Must do #3. The beach***

Sunday is a great day to walk from Copacabana to Ipanema along the street, which is closed to traffic. I find Copacabana more tourist orientated and hence there are more scammer present. Ipanema is my preferred beach to catch some rays. I like Posto 7 to Posto 9. At Ipanema, a beach chair (Porto: cadeira) will cost about R3 to rent for the day, you can pay when you return it. If you wish to purchase a cotton beach like towel (Porto: a canga) it should set you back about R15 if you are a local, anymore and you are paying tourist prices and hence should walk away and go to the next guy. A cadeira or a canga will cost more directly opposite the heavy tourist areas of Copacabana, another reason I prefer Ipanema.

***Must do #4. Trip to Centro***

Centro is entirely different from the touristy area that is Copacabana. I think everyone should catch the Metro downtown and soak in the local atmosphere. Try to avoid the metro in peak hours if possible, it can get very crowded and although it is still perfectly safe, it can get uncomfortable with the crush of people. Of course you can combine this with a trip to 4x4.

***Where to take a girl on a date: Some suggestions***

(I borrowed this heavily from another post, sorry I did not keep the posters handle)

Cinema - best places are the shopping malls such as Barra Shopping, Rio Sul. Films are shown in original language, except some kiddy films that are dubbed (dublado).

Parks - botanic gardens are superb, monkeys and squirrels to see. Some quiet areas to get friendly in on the hillside in the forest. Also Parque Lage which is nearby. On the lagoa there's Parque do catacombas where you can hike to the top of the hill for fantastic views of the lagoon and Ipanema/Leblon.

Corcovado - go afternoon and see the sunset. Buy some fruit at the restaurant near the top and feed the coatis when they come out at sundown. They have concerts at night, romantic and great views. Sugar Loaf is also good. Believe it or not, a lot of locals from Rio have never visited the big tourist attractions and hence will be more than happy to go to them with you.

Terra Encantada - the fun fair on Ayrton Senna in Barra. Plenty of rides and good fun.

Rio Water Park - Recreio, for a day on flumes and the like.

The Beach - You are in Rio.

Live music - buy a newspaper for details. Vinicius in Ipanema for great Bossa Nova.

Museums and art galleries - Rio has loads.

The zoo in Rio is close to the Maracana stadium. (Zoo is quiet poor)

Other good places to take non-pro's is the MAC museum in Icarai, Niteroi (the flying saucer shaped building you may have seen in photos). You get great views of Rio from there, if you walk down towards the little island with monastry and take a right turn, you come to a bar where you can watch the sunset with good views of centro and all the advertising lights. Very nice atmosphere.

[Bubba Boy]

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The Bubba report, updated February, 2007. Part 11 - Language.

Due to the Portuguese settling Brazil, the language in Brazil is Portuguese, not Spanish as most people not unreasonably assume.

The following is a few terms you may find useful. I have added a few you won't find in a guide book, for obvious reasons. It is not meant to be a comprehensive guide, just a start. Before going it is definitely worth getting a language course, not only will it be helpful, but it is incredibly rewarding to learn a new language. If you eventually become fluent in Porto you will be able to understand Spanish (to a degree) and to a lessor degree Italian (well you will be on your way), they are derived from the same language, hence it is reaaly worth it.

Every person I have ever spoken to that has studied Portuguese via CD's agrees the Pimsleur Portuguese series I,II & III are the best to get you started. If you finish all you will not be fluent but you will be on your way to understanding basic stuff. The one criticism about Pimsleur was that they were very expensive, about USD$200 each series. Of course many people downloaded these for free from the various elicit sources, which is probably why you can now buy the complete legitimate series in MP3 format for USD$150 (search on Ebay or google). You will also be well served by buying a Pocket sized Portuguese dictionary to take with you.
This link will give you a free course almost as good as Pimsleur, not sure how long it will last though.
http://fsi-language-courses.com/Portuguese.aspx

http://babelfish.altavista.com/ is also a rough translation guide. (it ain't perfect by any means)

NB: Portuguese is pronounced quite different to English.
NB2: I am purposely keeping this section very short. It contains the very basics.

***Two recommended courses in Rio are***

*PUC Rio*
A cathlotic uni I believe. It is located in Gávea, which is 2 suburbs away from Ipanema.
Classes run early March through to late June, and then again July through to the end of the year. Nice way to meet some local girls at this univeristy.

http://www.cce.puc-rio.br (http://www.cce.puc-rio.br/letras/portuguesingles.htm )

*Ibeu*
Good if somewhat pricacy course, they have 3 levels each lasting about a month. About R1000 per level.

http://www.ibeu.com.br/

**Other language resoures**

http://fsi-language-courses.com/Portuguese.aspx
http://www.learn-portuguese-now.com/
http://www.sonia-portuguese.com/

**Most important words GDP**

Safado/a, You will here this a lot when talking to the girls. A safado, when applied in this text, is literally a guy (or girl= Safada) that screws around a lot. You will be called such if you bang another girl in front of a terma girl you have already done. You may also here it screamed when you are banging a girl, IE she is liking it, it is a good term. Like many things in Brazil, some things have 2 meanings.

Gostoso/a, Another term you will here when banging away (if you are doing it right). Basically means she likes it/you. Of course many girls will use "Gostoso" a little bit to much to be believable, don't take GDP's to serious.

o/a = masculine/feminine. Ie when referring to a man you would say Safado, when referring to a female Safada.

chato, = boring, you will hear this a lot when a girl is not pleased.
mentiroso/a = a liar, you will hear this a lot when you deny banging a GDP's friend.
divertido/a = fun, as in to have, a good thing to hear.

**The Most important words**

quanto custa= how much cost (does it cost)
quanto é= how much is it

If you speak zero Portuguese at least learn to ask how much everything is and then learn the numbers. There are many people in Rio, particularly in the bars that will rip you off if you don't ask. I ask how much everything costs in every bar, this includes how much each drink is before ordering. If you don't ask a R10 may cost you R50.

**Questions for a girl**

Você faz Tudo? = Do you do everything?
Voce chupa sem camisinha? = Do you suck without a condom?
Você faz Tudo? = Do you do everything?
Você faz sexo anal? = Do you do anal sex
Você gosta de sexo anal? = Do you like Anal Sex
Eu posso gozar na sua boca= Can I cum in your mouth?
Culo = anal sex (I believe this is Spanish but used widely in Brasil)
beijos negros = to lick ass (in a sexual way)

**Most important words general (think Pimsleur Volumn 1)**

Obrigado/a = Thankyou (Man always says Obrigado, a women always says Obrigada)
De Nada = Your welcome (in Rio "De" is pronounced "Ge" IE "Ge Nada")
Por Favor= please
Qual é o seu nome? = What is your name. (this is the first thing every girl will ask)
Como se chama = What is your name (literally: how to be called)
Meu Nome é = My name is.......(this is your reply)
De= from or of
Onde = where
De Onde (você) = of where (literally: where are you from?)
sim = yes
não = no
um/uma = 1 or "a" ("um" refers to a masculine object, "uma" femine)
um pouco = a little
Eu= I
Eu Vou = I go ,
Você vai = You go.
Nos vamos =Lets go (note the different forms the verb "go" takes)
Eu fui = I went (or I was)
Você Foi= You went
beber = drink
você = you (informal)
Garoto/a = boy/girl
Tem= Have, Important when asking if some has something, IE "Tem água"
Você tem trocar = Do you have change? ("tem trocar" is OK to say)
Falar = (to) Speak
Você fala Portuguese = Do you speak Portuguese?
Bonito/a = beautiful
Lindo/a = beautiful
Louco/a =crazy
e = and
é = it is
Agora = now
água = water
com = with
sem = without
água com gas = water with bubbles
água sem gas = water with bubbles
meia =6 , literally means "half" as in half a dozen. phone numbers are spoken this way
Como = how
querer= want, Eu quero (I want), Você quer (you want)
precisar = need
gostar = (to) like
gostaria = (I) would like
Quantos anos você tem = How old are you? (literally: How many years do you have)
Eu não entendo = I don't understand
Devagar = slow (you will here this before Anal, means go slow!)
Bunda = ass
Achar = (to) think
Nos vamos para o meu hotel agora = lets go to my hotel now
Eu não sei = I dont know
Não sabe= (Do) you know
Por Quanto tempo = For how long?
um pouco mais = a little bit more
Voce quer uma bebida = Do you want a drink?
Onde voce mora = where do you live?
Quero duplas = I want two girls
Cachorro = dog
Desculpa = Sorry or excuse me
Ontem = Yesterday
Amanhã = Tomorrow
Talvez = maybe
Perto daqui = close to here
fica longe daqui = far from here
Quanto custa para entrar = How much to enter
mesa para dois = a table for two
Você tem tempo agora = Do you have time now?
Você quer ir comigo = Do you want to go with me
difícil = difficult
fácil = easy
bonito/a = beautiful (a man is a "bonito", women is a "bonita")
lindo/linda = beautiful (as well)

**List of juices**

Suco de = Juice of
Suco de laranja = Orange Juice
Suco de Maca = Apple juice
Suco de Abacaxi = Pineapple juice
Suco de Melancia = Watermelon

**Numbers**

For a list a complete list of numbers grab guide book. Remember when negotiating with a girl numbers are written the same, hence grab a pen if necessary or use sign language.

0 zero
1 um (M), uma (F)
2 dois (M), duas (F)
3 três
4 quatro
5 cinco
100 cem
150 cento e cinquenta
200 duzentos
300 trezentos
300+ don't even think about paying any girl more than this!

For a complete list, see you pocket dictionary.

**Verbs**

The above list is for someone that has no knowledge of Portuguese. The following lists are for someone that knows Portuguese well and wants to know certain words better that will generally not be taught by your humble Portuguese teacher.

**Sperto’s lists of….well….best to just read them. Posted on ISG**

Sperto says: -
Insulting is something that should absolutely be avoided in Brazil, but sometimes it can be necessary. Also it's good to know what people say if they insult you.
Please, be very careful using these phrases. Some of them are VERY strong.

A simple and useful phrase for shoe shiners and beggars that don't accept "Não obrigado" is "Sai daqui desgraçado!" They will definitely go away.

Vai toma no cú seu viado ~ Fuck you, faggot.
Vai se danar ~ Fuck you.
No teu cú ~ Up your ass.
Vai para o inferno ~ Go to hell.
Vai pra puta que te pariu ~ Go back to the ***** who gave you birth.
Se liga na porra da tua vida caralho ~ Mind your own fucking business.
Vai dar o cú ~ Go give your ass.
Enfia no cú e roda ~ Put it in your ass and keep rolling.
Enfie o dedo no cú e rasgue ~ Put your finger into your asshole and rip it off.
Gostou? Não? Então enfia o dedo no cú e gira ~ Didn't you like it? Then stick your finger up your ass and spin it.
Comi sua mae ~ I fucked your mother.
Sua mãe bate bife com as tetas ~ Your mom hit the meat with her tits.
Vá se fuder, peça da puta merda! ~ Go fuck yourself, you goddamn piece of shit!
Masca merda ~ You eat shit.
O cú da sua mãe é tão grande que um trem do metrô poderia passar nele sem problemas ~ Your mom's ass is so big that a subway train could pass through it with no problems.
Você é burro de dar dó ~ You're so stupid, people pity you.
Do jeito que você é feio, seria melhor barbear a bunda e andar de costas ~ You're so ugly you should shave your ass and walk backwards.
Sua mãe tá na zona ~ Your mom is in the *****house district.
Vou te estuprar com um abacaxi, sua bicha safada ~ I'll fuck your ass with a pineapple, you filthy faggot.
Vou cagar na sua cara ~ I'll shit in your face.
Aquela mina é um puta bagulho ~ That girl is a fucking ugly.
Vô fuder tua bunda e fazer você beber meu gozo tua puta ~ I'll fuck you in the ass, and make you taste my cum, you *****.
Vai peidar na água pra ver se sai bolhinhas ~ Go to fart in water and make bubbles.
Sua família é um bando de desgraçado filho da puta ~ Your family is motherfucker cursed.

*Spertos favourite words for ass*
bumbum, bunda, cu, nádegas, popozão, rabo

*And some for breasts*
laranjas, melancias (big ones), peitos, seios, tetas, travesseiros, tufas.

*And to have sex*
afogar o ganso, comer, fazer amor, foder, rala-rala, transar, trepar.

*And some words for pussy*
aranha, boca-cabeluda, boca-de-sapo, boca-sem-dente, buceta, bucetinha, buraco-cabeludo, coisinha, gruta-do-amor, peludinha, perereca, periquita, rosquinha,
túnel-do-amor, vagina, xereca, xoxota.



I received a number of PMs suggesting more words and correcting some existing words. There were to numerous to list but I thank you all.

[Bubba Boy]

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The Bubba report, updated February, 2007 - Real Estate. Part 12.

***Property Prices in Rio***

*Suburb* - - - - - - - - - - Maximo - - Medio - - Minimo----(rent)
Ipanema - - - - - - - - - - -1250000 - - 625000 - - 240000-----2730
Leblon - - - - - - - - - - - -1260000 - - 642000 - - 255000-----2827
Lagoa - - - - - - - - - - - - 1200000 - - 545000 - - 220000-----2533
Gavea - - - - - - - - - - - - 1100000 - - 518000 - - 230000-----2087
Urca - - - - - - - - - - - - - 1000000 - - 417000 - - 180000-----2225
Jardin Botanico - - - - - -1000000 - - 437000 - - 220000-----1896
Barra e Racreio - - - - - -1100000 - - 410000 - - 150000-----2074
Copacabana e Leme - - -1050000 - - 381000 - - 165000-----2169
Flamengo e Catete - - - - 1000000 - - 386000 - - 185000----1630
Laranjeiras e C Velho - - -750000 - - 339000 - - 165000----1630
Botafogo e Humaita - - - 560000 - - 332000 - - -175000----1377
Ilha do Governador - - - - 500000 - - 237000 - - - 55000------713
Tijuca e Rio Comprido - -450000 - - 191000 - - - 75000------761
Jacarepagua - - - - - - - - -300000 - - 167000 - - - -55000------716
Meier e Lins - - - - - - - - -350000 - - 159000 - - - 60000------600
Andarai e Grajau - - - - - -360000 - - 159000 - - - 57000------675
Madureira - - - - - - - - - - 230000 - - 126000 - - - -40000-----502
Centro - - - - - - - - - - - - -230000 - - 127000 - - - -50000-----597

NB: Prices quoted in Reals and for a 3 bedroom apartment.

Maximo = was the highest price obtained for the month
Medio = average price for the suburb in the area
Minimo = The cheapest place sold that month.
Rent = Average rent for a unfurnished 3 bed apartment over a 2 1/2 year contract.

The above table (sorry about the formatting ) was taken from OGlobo-16 Oct-05. It shows the maximum (maximo) price of an apartment sold in the area in the last month, the average (medio) and minimum (minimo). It is interesting in that the most expensive suburb in Rio has an average apartment price of USD$300,000. This would not qualify for an "average" suburb in a big western city. As a comparison, a good suburb in London, IE Chelsea has an average 3br apartment price of USD$2,000,000.

*Renting in Rio*

There are tons of short term rental agencies in Rio, hence finding something for 1 week to 3 months is not a problem. If you want to rent a place for longer and perhaps furnish it yourself you can find some real bargains, a fraction of what you would pay for a short term rentals. However with this comes a few problems.

A standard lease runs for 2 1/2 years. To obtain such a lease you will usually need a Fiador to guarantee or co sign the lease. What does this mean? Well if you do not make you rental payments the Fiador is responsible for your debts. In order to be a fiador, one must own a property in Rio and this property is essentially leant on until your lease is up. Hence finding a Fiador is virtually impossible, well for a gringo anway. If you think this is ridiculous, and it is, the problem was essentially created by inept legislation. Once a lease is signed it is virtually impossible to evict the tenant, even if rent is not paid. Hence, when you add in costly legal bills, unpaid utility and condo bills, you can see how the landlord is exposed to a bad tenant. Many a landlord has been forced to sell a property after a 2 year battle with a renegade tenant.

For a gringo it is difficult to hence rent a property on a long term basis. There is no easy way around it. I have heard of a few gringos obtaining a lease through a broker going into bat for them, usually they require some sort of deposit, up to 6 months. Finding a good broker is also difficult. Real estate brokers around the world are not exactly a trustworthy bunch, in Rio they are absolutely disgraceful. Having said this I have found a good one, but I do not want to put her name here. She is busy enough.

A good place to start the search for properties is here. http://classificados.oglobo.com.br/ The Sunday edition of the same paper has the listings.


*A posting by Carlos Primeros on ISG. Carlos says in regards to buying a property.

Brasilian titles: I can only recommend that you have a lawyer do the title research. One of my relatives bought five years ago in Blumenau a piece of land. The title research was done and it showed that the sale from a church-organization to an individual 28 years ago was not properly done and that the Catholic Church was still the legal owner of the land - everybody assumed at those days that the transfer was done and closed. The whole thing was settled amicably but why should this happen to you? There are a lot of Brazilians which would like to make a gringo pay for nothing or at least for an invalid title. The Brazilian Government guarantees only one thing: That all their records are hopelessly incorrect and a big mess. In Brazil there is a time-limit in which titles can be contested. It is 30 years. A professional lawyer will do a search to this time-frame. I assume that the US Consulate in Rio or where ever you want to buy the property will provide you with the address of a semi-decent and skilful lawyer.

Payment: do not - under any circumstances - conclude a contract with a "split price", meaning one figure in the contract and the other amount cash. Remember - you have to bring this money into Brazil legally. By just taken R40.000 cash to Brazil is illegal and you might be set up paying this money. Make a transfer to an escrow account with Banco do Brazil and pay from this account to the guy. Normally when you open an account in Brazil, you must give your tax-number (CPF), As a foreigner you do not have one - alas - you can open only an account with Banco do Brazil. Alternatively first get a residence permit (permanente) in Brazil and than effectuate the purchase of the apartment. I would do this anyhow first.

One final thought: why are you not renting an apartment? Put your money in some investment - fund, cash the profits out and pay with the profits the rent. If you do not like the place anymore, just terminate the rental contract!

I am also living from time to time for longer periods in Rio but I would never ever buy an apartment there. You never know how the situation in a part of Rio develops and suddenly your place turns into a Favela (slum). Then you can kiss the value of your apartment good-bye. Carlos Primeros

Member #4042 wrote:


***Buying and Selling Real Estate in Brazil: Do's, Don'ts and Don't Even Thinks***


Member #4042 wrote this very informative and clarifying article I found in www.brazzil.com in the general info. I hope is helps to end all the speculation about real estate transactions in Brasil. I hope is useful forall those looking to buy RE in Brasil ( as is my case)

Anyone could pose as a real estate agent in Brazil. In fact, selling real estate appears to be the third most favorite national past-time after soccer and Carnaval. Strangers on the street, doormen, friends, friends of friends, friends of relatives, and relatives of friends, in short, anyone would gladly lend you a helping hand and charge a commission for services (or lack thereof) provided.

Nobody would guess that in Brazil the profession of a real estate broker is strictly regulated by the Civil Code and providing real estate services without being duly registered and licensed is a misdemeanor punishable by incarceration and fine.

This is important information yet it is often of little practical value to those unfortunate individuals who have already fallen victims to pseudo-brokers, incompetent brokers, or outright fraud.

As always, an ounce of prevention is worth many times a pound of cure, especially considering that this pound of cure is very hard to come by in the first place. Of course, there are recourses that could be invoked by the injured party.

Brokers and agents can be reprimanded and their licenses could be suspended and revoked by CRECI - Regional Councils of Real Estate Professionals; real estate agents are also legally and financially responsible for their actions through civil and criminal legal systems. Needless to say, obtaining satisfaction or justice could take a very long time as well as be extremely difficult, costly, and stressful.

Information and knowledge are often the best defenses and protectors of consumer interests and rights in any situation. This is true many times more so in real estate purchase arrangements that take place in Brazil.

Let us look at the professional qualifications, responsibilities, and rights that real estate agents have in Brazil. Our first step is to learn how to avoid unscrupulous individuals who pose as brokers and who often cause serious financial and emotional damage to their unsuspecting clients. We will then look at the practical aspects of working with a real estate agent, and, finally, we should explore the steps that can be taken to protect rights and property of a client.

Broker, are you a broker?

In order to become a licensed real estate agent (broker) in Brazil it is necessary to take a training course TTI (Técnico de Transações Imobiliárias), pass exams on the comprising modules, and, finally, pass the state licensing exam.

A broker can exercise profession only after obtaining TTI diploma, passing the state licensing exam, and being duly registered with the corresponding state CRECI. At this point the broker obtains a professional ID card and a CRECI registration number.

The real estate broker ID card has to be carried at all times during exercise of profession and ought to be shown to anyone wishing to see it. CRECI number identifying the professional is mandatory to be listed in all advertising.

In special cases, students of TTI courses are issued intern permits that allow them to work at real estate agencies during their training.

It is fairly simple to identify a real estate professional in Brazil. Endless trouble (alas, not all of it) could be avoided by taking this simple, yet often overlooked step.

NOTE: If you wish to be certain that you are dealing with a legit real estate professional, ask for ID, note the name and the CRECI number.

Picareta - (literally a pickax, but here a con artist) is a slang term often used to designate false brokers.

There are two types of CRECI licenses:

Individual license granted to graduates of TTI course who have passed the state licensing exam.

Note: Holders of bachelor and master level degrees in Real Estate Sciences are also eligible for CRECI inscription without having to take the TTI course. They still have to pass the state licensing exam.

Company licenses are issued to companies that incorporate real estate related activities in the corporate bylaws as well as being headed and managed by an individual CRECI holder (real estate agency).

Note: Company CRECI can be used for advertising and legal purposes, but only individuals holding CRECI licenses can provide real estate services to clients.

What Real Estate Agents Are Qualified to Do

RE brokers in Brazil are not mere sales agents. Despite the fact that the primary function and the main revenue source for real estate professional remains commission derived from brokering, CRECI licensed professionals ought to be able to advise on and guide clients through most if not all the intricate details of a real estate transaction.

Taking On a Listing

In order to publicly advertise a property for sale (newspaper ads, web site listings, etc) it is necessary for a broker to have exclusive listing contract. It is a very unfortunate fact that in many cases brokers do not bother to get exclusivity nor take any steps in order to investigate or even to visit a property they are expected to sell.

In the ideal case, the broker would obtain exclusivity (lack of MLSs (Multiple Listing Services), competitive market, and poor working relationship with the public often result in properties advertised by a number of brokers/agencies with different prices), visit the property and conduct preliminary due diligence investigation.

Such investigation should include obtaining historical title extract (Certidão Vintenária aka Ônus Reais), and any additional documentation that could shed light on the legal status of the property and its owner(s). It's been estimated that about 40% of properties currently on the market in Brazil have different kinds of cloud on title.

Confirming that the person selling the property is actually the owner and there are no any other immediate irreparable impediments to the ownership transfer should be one of the first steps of preparing a healthy listing.

The broker should make at least one visit to the property to confirm and investigate its location, integrity, and peculiarities. It is imperative to speak with the owner, neighbors, síndico (condominium administrator), and any other source that could potentially provide valuable information that could not be found on legal documentation about the property.

As a client you can contribute to increase in professionalism and combat of informality on real estate market by always making sure that the real estate professional you are working with is legit and that all the necessary preliminary steps have been taken before visiting a prospective property or allowing your property to be listed.

Hiring a Broker

Technically, a client/broker relationship begins with signing of a listing or a service provider agreement. The set of contracts that can be signed between a broker and a client is generally known as: Contrato de intermediação imobiliária (Real estate brokerage service contract.

The following types of contracts are recognized:

Contrato de intermediação imobiliária para fins de venda (Listing contract)

Contrato de intermediação imobiliária para fins de compra (Buyer agency agreement)

Contrato de intermediação imobiliária para fins de locação (Property rent authorization)

Contrato de intermediação imobiliária para fins de permuta (Property barter authorization)

Contrato de intermediação imobiliária para fins de administração imobiliária (Property Administration Agreement)

Despite the fact that service contract is obligatory (by professional and legal standards) between a client and a real estate broker, there have been numerous cases where commission rights had been granted to contesting broker even when no such contract existed.

Listing Contract

Listing contract can be exclusive or non-exclusive. Since there is no Multiple Listing Service in Brazil, most of the listing contracts by default grant exclusive rights to sell to the listing broker or agency (commission is due even if the seller finds buyer directly) for the duration of the contract.

Usually such contracts are signed for a period of 90 business days. If the seller desires to grant only Exclusive Agency contract (commission is only due if the listing agent finds buyer), the clause has to be explicitly stated and carefully worded.

If the transaction takes place after the expiration date of the contract, but as a result of the broker's contribution, the fee is still due.

Exclusive contract gives the rights of public advertising to the broker (posting signs, running classifieds ads, posting listings on web sites). Non-exclusive contract would limit marketing options to the internal catalogs, existing client lists and such.

Commission or Fees

Legislation and regulations guiding profession of real estate broker in Brazil shies away from calling compensation for real estate brokerage services commission. Instead, consistent effort is being made to equate such compensation with fees payable to other liberal professionals in Brazil, such as: lawyers, doctors, medics...

The word used for the legal and practical purposes is Honorários. Such effort is being made in order to further disassociate real estate broker profession from the ranks of common sales clerks and to elevate professional status of the category.

The Honorários ought to be fixed at the service contract and should be clearly identified as for the type of services that would generate such compensation.

Note: Commission and fee are used interchangeably in this article since commission is the most frequently used term designating such compensation in the English language.

There are five basic types of professional compensation:

Sale Fee

This commission is paid by either seller or buyer and is based on the type of property and sales commission table provided by the corresponding state's CRECI. Usually, the rate ranges from 5% to 10% of the amount of the transaction.

Property Barter Commission

Barter commission generally follows the same guidelines as the sale commission. It is important to note that in case of a direct exchange of a property for another one of equal value, the broker can claim commission for both. When a property of a lesser value is provided as part of payment for a property of a greater value only the commission on the property of the greater value is due.

Property Lease Commission

Rent commission is always charged to the landlord. It usually is defined as an amount equivalent to a month worth of rent.

Property Administration Fee

Can be fixed at up to 12% of the amount of the monthly rent. If the amount of rent is fixed for the entire duration of the lease agreement, then greater amount can be charged.

Property Appraisal (Property valuation) Fee

Real Estate brokers in Brazil can conduct market analysis and determine market value of the property in question.

Note: If the property appraisal is required for legal, fiscal, or mortgage purposes , only civil engineers could provide reports that can be admitted.

When the Fee Is Due

It is a common misconception that the broker fee ought to be paid at closing. In reality, payment of the broker fee is due at the moment when the transaction has become imminent, i.e. when the intent to purchase or a similar document has been signed.

Even if the deposit/earnest money has been paid and the buyer later pulls back for one reason or another, the seller is liable for the full broker commission. This is one of the reasons that the down payment should be set at least 10% of the agreed sale price in order to cover possible expenses that include broker commission.

It doesn't mean that if the broker has merely introduced the two parties that the commission is due. There has to be a clear indication that the transaction is to take place. What is usually not considered in this situation is whether or not the transaction is eventually carried through by either of the parties or not.

If the transaction falls through due to the unprofessional, unethical, or illegal conduct by the broker, there is a fair chance that the fee would be denied and the broker could be held responsible legally and financially for his or her actions.

Boris Goldshmit is the founder of www.lifestylesbrazil.com and a Licensed Real Estate Broker based in Rio de Janeiro. He can be contacted at boris@lifestylesbrazil.comThis email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it.

[Bubba Boy]

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Bubba Report, updated January, 2006. Part 13. Other Places in Brasil.

**Sao Paulo**

For more detail on Sao Paulo please see that section.

**Brasilia**

The nations capital. Home to 2m people. I believe it was built in the 1960's from nothing and almost bankrupted the country at the time. It is a spread out city, a city that would be very difficult to live in without the access to a car. It is not compact like Rio. Like most cities in Brasil it has paid for options. I stayed there for a couple of days and think that for pure mongering activities it would not be worth the trip. However if you have to go there for business you may as well grab a bit of ass.

*Accomodation*

I stayed at the Melia Brasilia complex in March 2006. It has a 5 star hotel "Melia Brasilia" and a 4 star hotel "Tryp Park". Basically they are the same complex operated by the same company built in 2003. The Melia will set you back about USD$120 and the Tryp about USD$80. I found the hotel to be out standing, I believe there are no problems with guests, although I did not bring anything home. The Mercure is not far away and accor hotels are always a good option in Brasil. The location of the hotel is great, the Gol Club is directly across the road, and the Patio Brasil Shopping centre is 200 yard down the road on the right if standing in the foyeur.

http://www.solmelia.com (for Melia and Tryp)
http://www.accorhotels.com.br (for Mercure)

*Action*

After doing a lot of research I came to the conclusion that the Gol Club is the place to be at the top end while in Brasilia. It was located directly opposite the Melia, next to a quite large service station that curiously had cars lining up 24/7 to fill up, kind of inefficient but I digress. Anyway, from the outside the club looks tiny, this is because the entire club is underground and it is quite large and well appointed. Entrance was R80, which was broken down to R30 for entrance and a minimum consumption of R50. Beer was R10 and whiskey from memory was R20. I went on a Monday and there was about 30 girls there, it was dead before 11pm, hence do not go before. It looked like the full complement of girls were there more or less by midnight. I didn't ask what the price was to take a girl out or what there bar fine was. The girls that were there were all, by my high standards, quite nice. They were all about 7's and maybe an 8 or 2. As I had just come from Rio and was "well fed" I declined any action.

I believe working girls gather in some hotel lobbies after 11pm on some nights. I personally did not see this at the Melia but it was a Monday night, I have heard a few do hang there. You may see this at Blue Tree Park which is down by the lake, about 2 miles from the Hotel Melia and The Bonaparte hotel, which is 2 blocks down from the Melia, just past the Patio Brasil shopping center.

http://golnightclub.com.br/

*The Patio Brasil Shopping center*

This is by Brasilian standards a large mall. It has decent shopping and a food court on the top level. Hence, I found the Melia hotel a good place to stay because you can always eat at the Mall for R12 or so and there is always something to do, I would think in other parts of the city it would be a cab ride to get anywhere. It also has a large cinema complex. It is a couple of hundred yards down to the right from the Melia if standing looking at of the foyer.

[Bubba Boy]

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Bubba Report, updated February, 2007. Part 14. The final words.

***Daily Routine, a summary of what I do daily when in Rio***

This is what I do on an almost daily basis.
~~Wake up, hit a kilo place or suco bar for lunch. (No one wakes up in time for breakfast.
~~Maybe hit the beach for an hour or 2 or hit a tourist attraction. Call buddies see what is on the agenda.
~~Hit a Terma, early after or mid noon depending upon the strategy for the day. Ie 4x4 early, zona sul Termas anytime.
~~grab something to eat for late dinner at a kilo place or suco bar. If you know enough of them you can find more than enough variety of food to eat there almost everyday.
~~If enough time may hit another terma, maybe just for a drink or rest and then go to Help or at least hang around outside with some friends, I may or may not go in. The longer I stay in Rio the less I go to Help, normally find something else (or someone else) to do
~~Go to bed, either alone or with a new friend.

***Your first step***

Your first sexual experience in Rio should be at a Terma. Why? Well it will get you up and running quickly. It is also the least hassle, least likely place to get you ripped off, and it will form the basis for reference of all future experiences. Terma Luomo is a good start, it did me good on my first visit, it could well get you off to a good start.

***People to Thank***

As I stated in the intro, I have attempted to create 1 resource for Rio. Hence I have used many peoples post and info. All the info have been very carefully screened, I have only used info from people that I know, know their shit. I have also verified a lot of the info myself. People to thank, some helped me with direct input, some helped me just for the quality of their posts.

Sperto, Euro100, Lorenzo, Jaimito Cartero, Doc Bill, Genghis Khan (excellent quality posts on Sampa), Rio Bob, Young and Restless, James Howard, Keldeson, Bandy, Pelicano, Carlos Primeros, Sui Generis, Full Throttle, the mighty Austrian - El Austriaco and virtually every other senior member that takes the time out of their lives to post. There are also others, I apologise for not listing everybody.

Copy write notice: This report is free to use or distribute, however the following URL must left in tact. http://www.internationalsexguide.info/ It is where I post, it is where I have used other peoples posts. It is "our home" and a great resource, hence I would ask you credit it the URL if you post it on another website.

***The Final Words***

The end.

[Bubba Boy]

Unlike you guys, I'm a busy man and I actually have interesting things to do, I don't spend my life writing reports on forums, I prefer spending it on quality time with the girls.

You must still do that thing which I detest but takes up all your time ---ie Work. I got rid of that shit many years ago, around my thirty first birthday ;-)

[Ledrassi]

I am definitely updating this guide now. It should be ready in a week or, actually I have set a deadline of Feb 22 because I have plans after this date.

Hence any suggestion, comments, criticisms please post them.

One thing I will do is put in a better index, an index that will reference each topic by page number. Second thing, I will reduce the number of pages, would like to keep it at 100 pages even.

About time too Bubby, you've been sitting on your ass for too long. You had better make a better guide and you had better do it quickly.

I don't have all the time in the world to wait for it. Unlike you guys, I'm a busy man and I actually have interesting things to do, I don't spend my life writing reports on forums, I prefer spending it on quality time with the girls.

So hurry up Bubby, start typing all you know, I'm waiting for it.

[Hunter10]

In my opinion your guide on Rio is one of the most detail guide for Hobbying on this board.

Its has a wealth of knowledge to help other members who have never went to Brazil have a better trip. Your index is fine. Let the new reader read everything you wrote. Its like the 101 travel guide to hobbying in Brazil. There so much good information from shopping to dining.

Its has information on selecting a place to eat like the kilo/buffets to going to a Tourist location. The guide is awesome. It lets you know what options you have to getting around Rio and the best times to go. It made my trip so much more efficient. This guide even has a language section. I learn the basic of starting a romantic relations with these Brazilian ladies. From your Vocabulary guide I learn all the Romantic terms. Imagine me not knowing a lick of Portugese then some magic words would come out. I'll ask a girl for oral without condom or can I come in your mouth in Portugese. They get a kick out if it and smile. They know I can't say much more than those magic words in Portugese. Brazilian ladies are beautiful and really fun to be around. There so damn sexy.

The information you have in the guide is awesome. I must reiterate once again and need I say with out overkill Thank You Once Again! . Bubba Boy for time and effort to post such a wonderfull guide for everyone. Thank you for efforts for updating and maintaining such a post.

Good luck and have fun on your next journey.

[Rosine]

I am definitely updating this guide now. It should be ready in a week or, actually I have set a deadline of Feb 22 because I have plans after this date.

Hence any suggestion, comments, criticisms please post them.

One thing I will do is put in a better index, an index that will reference each topic by page number. Second thing, I will reduce the number of pages, would like to keep it at 100 pages even.

100 pages? I guess I've never seen the real deal. The thing I'm looking for and will report on when I come back from my April trip is the centro options during the day. That's the most intriguing of all. Oh and new Termas of course. Thanks for all you do. It's much appreciated.